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Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p1

simon — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 00:04:27 +0000

READERSVOICE.com aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. Here are a few humorous items from Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales, Volume 1, by Don Talbot and John Larkin, published 2003. Toowoomba is a city in the mountain ranges west of Brisbane. The authors collected the stories of Toowoomba’s past from members of the Toowoomba community.

The stories are a mix of serious and humorous items. Here are some of the more amusing memories.

An Anglican priest loved restoring church organs and making stained glass windows for different denominations. The authors write: He had a great sense of humour and believed that no priest was worth his salt if he couldn’t follow in Christ’s footsteps and do things with his hands.

Father John was enthusiastic in his work. At one time, when he was building an organ in his home, which also served as his workshop, he placed more and more pipes in position and was enthralled by the result. But then his face changed as he realised that the completed church organ was now too big to leave the house through a normal door. A wall had to be removed for the exit.

The book also mentions The Strand which was a movie theatre in Toowoomba. During WW2 many soldiers were based in Toowoomba, including US personnel. Toowoomba can become quite cold in winter. Some of the soldiers would buy hot meat pies and use them as foot warmers during the movie.

Another item concerned the Chinese community in Toowoomba, including the enterprising market gardeners that were in many Australian towns. The Chinese people held traditional festivals and funerals. The authors write: The Chinese always left gifts of food including fruit on the graves and it was not known if they knew of the children watching from behind other gravestones, waiting for the mourners to depart.

And the authors wrote of the steep range on which Toowoomba sits. The authors write: Pioneers in T-model Fords found that first gear was not low enough to negotiate the climb and they would often use the lower reverse gear and drive backwards up the mountain slope.

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Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p2

simon — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 23:55:10 +0000

The Michaels Store in Ruthven Street…

The book mentions a store proprietor named Nayef Michael George, a member of the Lebanese community in Toowoomba. He ran the Michaels store in Ruthven Street, the main street of Toowoomba, in the 1970s. He was known as George Michael. He was generous to the local churches when they made purchases. He was well dressed. And good at business. The authors say he was a “formidable proprietor whose mood could change on an hourly basis. If Mr Michael was in a good mood he would shower customers with gifts of fruit and vegetables. But if he was out of sorts, he would make everyone queue at the counter and then serve a person half-way along the queue.”

The authors write: On more than one occasion, when a shopper explained that she could buy similar linen from Saba’s down the street, he would berate them in front of other customers and even follow them out of the shop shouting at them not to come back.

And: Then there was the time when a woman wanted to buy a pair of new trousers for her husband. They were kept on a high shelf and Mr Michael called out to his assistant, ‘Jack get the ladder, get the trousers down and show the lady what you’ve got!’

But men were also the butt of the shop owner’s jokes. On one occasion a man, whose wife was in hospital, arrived at the shop to buy her some underwear and whispered his request in Mr Michael’s ear. Mr Michael bellowed over the queue, ‘Jack – three pairs of fleecy-lined bloomers for the gentleman’.

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Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p3

simon — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 23:50:41 +0000

Some items on the Toowoomba Royal show…

When the Toowoomba Royal Show was operating at the old show grounds in Campbell Street, there was one feisty pig farmer who got very annoyed if his sows didn’t take a prize.

While others were applauding the presentation in the ring, he, with smouldering tension reflected in his face, would take his pigs back slowly down the aisle of covered pens. On the way, he would flick open the latches on the gates of every pen in the aisle. With his own pigs properly penned, he would lean on the fence and watched the mayhem as other famers tried to capture dozens of pigs running loose in the showgrounds.

The authors continue: There was also another stud pig breeder who was noted for his mean habits. On arrival at the show, he would wander round the exhibitors’ pens and talk about the need to improve the diet for his stock. He would take a handful or two from each exhibitor until he had enough feed for his pigs to cover the period of the show. His other complaint was the ‘straw for this pigs’ bedding had been ordered but hadn’t turned up’ and if they could lend him a bale or two it would be great.

-See Toowoomba Strange and Unusual Tales, Volume 1, by Don Talbot and John Larkin. It features many more items, serious and humorous, collected by the authors from Toowoomba locals, published 2003.

Dinkum Aussie Yarns p1

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:29:40 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. This issue features Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields. Mr Fields (1926-1995) was a vaudeville comedian and actor. In later life he told jokes on a night-time variety tv show called Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday. The show ran from 1984 to 1999.

He was also the jokes editor for Australasian Post, which was a magazine featuring stories about real- life Australian characters. It ceased publication in 2002. Mr Fields’ joke books feature jokes from Australasian Post.

The books, which look like magazines, include Leave ‘em Laughing and Dinkum Aussie Yarns. Here are a few shorter samples from Dinkum Aussie Yarns. It’s well worth tracking down by anyone who likes old-fashioned but good jokes.

THE MINISTER of the local church discovered at the last minute that he hadn’t invited a little old lady to come to his garden party, so he rang her up and asked her to come.

“It’s too late,” said the little old lady. “I’ve already prayed for rain.”

THEN there’s the bloke [guy] who rolls up at work more than an hour late.

“You should have been here at nine o’clock!” snaps the boss.

“Why?” says the bloke, “what happened?”

A PSYCHIATRIST was talking to a woman whose husband thought he was a lawn mower.

“Just be patient for a while,” said the doctor. “It’s a harmless fantasy that will soon pass.”

“I hope so,” said the woman. “I’m getting sick of lending him to the neighbours.”

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Dinkum Aussie Yarns p2

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:21:20 +0000

More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A BLOKE [a guy] goes into a chemist’s shop and asks for a cake of soap.

“Would you like it scented?” asked the chemist.

“No, thanks,” says the bloke, “I’ll take it with me.”

A YOUNG hippy bloke was up before the local beak [judge].

“Do you have a job?” asked the magistrate.

“Yes and no,” shrugged the young bloke.

“Well, where do you work?”

“Here and there.”

“Doing what?”

“This and that.”

The magistrate was losing his patience. “When do you work?” he demanded.

“Now and then.”

The magistrate sat back in his chair and said, “Take him away and lock him up.”

“What?” exclaimed the young bloke. “When will I get out?”

“Sooner or later,” said the magistrate.

“IS THAT the fire brigade?”

“Yes, sir, Can I help you?”

“Yes. Come quick! Me house is on fire!”

“Yes, sir, How do we get there?”

“Whadda yer mean, how do you get ‘ere? You’ve got one o’ them big red fire engines, ain’t yer?”

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Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields p3

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:12:07 +0000

More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A MAN rushed up to the ticket window at the railway station.

“Quick, I’m in a hurry!” he said. “Give me a return ticket!”

“Where to!” asked the booking clerk.

“Where to?” said the man. “Why, to back here, of course!”

…THE SAME feller gets the sack, so he has a go at busking.

He’s standing there on a street corner, happily playing his banjo, when a copper walks up to him. “Do you have a licence to play the banjo in the street?” asks the copper.

“No,” says the bloke.

“In that case,” says the policeman, “I must ask you to accompany me.”

“Certainly, mate,” says the bloke. “What would you like to sing?”

A FATHER overheard his little boy saying his prayers. The boy said: “God bless mummy, daddy, grandma and goodbye grandad.”

Next day, grandad died.

The father listened to the little boy next night. He said: “God bless mummy, daddy, and goodbye grandma.”

Next day, grandma died.

That night the father was shocked to hear the little boy say: “God bless mummy, and goodbye daddy.”

Next day the father was very careful in everything he did. When he arrived home his wife said: “What a day! The milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning!”

-See Maurie Fields’ collections of traditional Australian jokes, like Dinkum Aussie Yarns. His books would be interesting to anyone who likes analysing classic gags. Some of these date to World War One and earlier.

Humour in Memoriam p1

simon — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:24:34 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. Humor in Memoriam by George Mikes is a 116-page hardback, published in London in 1970.

George Mikes (1912-1987) was a Hungarian-British journalist and humorist. Humor in Memorium is full of theories about different aspects of humour. Plus there are a lot of good jokes to illustrate points.

Here are a couple of points he made: The author said that there were no situations that were either comic or tragic. It all depended on the characters and how they reacted to an event.

He writes: I do not say that it is legitimate to joke about any subject under the sun at any place and at any time, but I do say that only the time and place are the decisive factors here, not the subject.

He quotes James Thurber: The things we laugh at are awful, while they are going on, but get funny when we look back… Humour is a kind of emotional chaos told about calmly and quietly in retrospect.

And Mr Mikes writes about political jokes. He said: Under political tyranny, (under Nazi, or Communist, oppression) political jokes assume an added significance… The jokes help to undermine the tyrant’s authority and cut him down to human level – or to sub-human level where he often belongs – and reassure both the purveyor and the audience of the joke.

But he also said: a sense of humour always contains an element of self-denigration, acceptance of one’s own weakness. To see your own foibles, silliness, weakness, vanity, erratic nature and be genuinely amused by them is the true test of a sense of humour. The man who can only laugh at things, events, situations and other people had no sense of humour.

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Humour in Memoriam p2

simon — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:15:55 +0000

Mr Mikes gives many theories about Jewish humor, which he argues is the basis for the U.S. humour…

He writes: Theodor Reik quotes the story of the Jewish nurse. She has spent the night with a very sick patient and when the doctor arrives in the morning, he enquires how his patient is. The nurse replies: ‘Oh, he was sick all night, kept calling me… he wanted this and that… God, what a horrible night I had…” This story is supposed to reflect self-centredness… I only see it as the usual, disarming Jewish self-criticism: our nurses care more for themselves than for their charges – but who doesn’t?

Mr Mikes gives examples of Jewish jokes that made fun of death, including funeral jokes. He writes: It is Mrs Levy’s funeral, and Levy is found in the maid’s room, making love to her. The outraged relative who has found him exclaims:

‘Today of all days!’

Levy replies:

‘Good gracious! In my great sorrow I don’t know what I am doing.’

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Humour in Memoriam p3

simon — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 08:02:24 +0000

The author talks of the difference between the clown and the humorist. The clown tries to shine and keeps failing…

He writes: Remember Grock – one of the great clowns. He’d come on stage where his assistant – a well-dressed and well-behaved young man – was performing on the violin. Grock was huge, impressive, authoritative. He carried a vast suitcase of enormous proportions. He looked round sternly and pushed the young artist aside, opened his vast case — and carefully brought out the tiniest of violins. Loud laughter – authority deflated is always the best of jokes.

[Another of Grock’s gags is where he sits on a stool in front of a piano. The piano is too far away to play. But instead of moving the stool closer to the piano, he drags the piano closer to him.]

The author writes: But whether Grock was playing on his tiny violin, falling over backwards on the rebellious stool, or sliding down on the wooden keyboard cover (which he took out and leaned against the piano), we always loved him. He was not a stern, imperious father; he was our dear, silly Daddy. We were delighted to see him meet one misfortune after another and he entertained us sadly: he was resigned to his failures but he would have preferred to shine and to dazzle us, his audience, his children.

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Humour in Memoriam p4

simon — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 07:59:19 +0000

Unlike the clown, the humourist refuses to see the darker side of life but suspects – or knows — that his picture is far removed from reality…

Mr Mikes writes: The humorist, on the other hand, is not a father-figure but a child himself – and a rather spoilt child at that. He knows of the miseries of the world but refuses to accept the facts that stare him in the face. He, as I have already said, is Peter Pan who resolutely refuses to grow up… Mother used to protect him and those were the happy times… He is determined to see the world as a comfortable, rosy place, although at the bottom of his heart, he knows only too well that this conception is not quite accurate. Misery, danger, humiliation, failure do not exist for him; the world is a pleasant place and however dark something may look at the moment, all will turn out well. The humorist is a kind and jovial man, his world is a happy one; but he is far removed from reality and he knows that his picture is a distorted one…

–see Humour in Memoriam by George Mikes, 116 pages, published by Routledge and Kegan Paul, in association with Andre Deutsch, 1970.

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