Many people only think of the direction of leading downward, of influencing people you are responsible for. But that is only one aspect of leadership. Most important is self-leadership, because if you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead anyone else. Leading upward is influencing your leaders. Lateral leadership is influencing your peers. 

Here’s what I’ve found after years of these conversations: one of the best indicators that someone is ready to lead more is if they are an effective lateral leader. Because lateral leadership is the hardest kind of leadership. There’s no paycheck to leverage. No reporting lines to reference. The people who excel at lateral leadership excel at coordination with people they don’t have positional authority over. They are able to influence others by their credible character, the strength of their vision, their commitment, their ability to communicate and execute, and their servant’s posture toward others. Someone who excels in those attributes is a good candidate for a position where they will need to lead a team or lead downward. 

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His challenge has resonated with me for years. Yes, there are decisions that rest on a biblical conviction and not on what is considered to be best practice. For example, if it were ever decided that “best practice is to not teach the Scripture in worship services,” that counsel should be fiercely ignored. But when the best practices are (a) related to strategy, (b) in no violation of biblical principles, and (c) grounded in research, a wise leader will pay attention.

Here are four research-informed best practices church leaders commonly ignore.

1. Integrating teenagers into the whole church

The research behind Kara Powell’s book, Sticky Faith, found that pulling teenagers out from the overall life of the church hurt their faith and the likelihood that they would be connected to church after high school graduation. If a teenager’s only experience with church is the youth group, they are much more likely to graduate from church when they graduate from the youth group. Helping students serve in the church where they are surrounded by adults who encourage them is best for the students, and high school students hearing the same sermon as their parents helps the parents discuss the message with their teenagers.

Best practice: Integrating teenagers into the whole church

Commonly ignored by only having teenagers separated from adults

2. Prioritizing groups

Ed Stetzer and I wrote Transformational Groups based on research about spiritual formation and groups, which showed that people connected to a small group show significantly higher marks in Bible engagement, serving, prayer, and generosity. Groups must not be viewed as an optional add-on, but as essential for discipleship and care. As a church grows, scaling groups is immensely challenging, but it is also extremely important.

Best practice: Prioritizing groups to help people experience biblical community

Commonly ignored by viewing groups as one of many programs on a calendar

3. Launching a church with multiple services

This point is likely in the casual observation bucket more than a research-based bucket, but I still believe it is a best practice. Craig Groeschel challenged churches many years ago to launch with two services because doing so allows people to attend one service and serve one service. We want to make worshiping and serving as easy as possible for people, and multiple services help accomplish that goal.

Best practice: Launching a church or campus with two services

Commonly ignored by launching with one service

4. Being ready to help those in a trial

The research behind the book, Transformational Discipleship, which I wrote with Michael Kelly and Philip Nation, revealed that seasons of spiritual transformation often occur in the midst of suffering and trials. A trial puts someone in a teachable posture, and when God’s truth and grace are applied in the midst of that season by a trustworthy leader, God often uses the trial to develop a more mature faith. We don’t send trials, but we can be prepared to meet people with prayer, shepherding, and care in the midst of their trials.

Best practice: Having clear pathways for those who are hurting to receive care (special groups, recovery classes, ways to access receiving prayer, etc.)

Commonly ignored by not considering how to serve those who are in pain

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50 Days to Embracing (and Enjoying) Who God Says You Are is out now, and our prayer is that teenagers will learn to anchor their identity in how God defines them—not in how the world defines them. For more information on the devo, click here.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12)

From Eric:

We live in a world that loves us based on how we look or what we do, not based on who we are. Think about how the world works: Play really well on the team, win a championship, and then we will love you as a hero. Make great grades, participate in lots of extracurricular activities, and then we would love to have you attend our university. Look and act a certain way, and then we would love to have you in our friend group.

The list could go on and on.

The reason we have a difficult time believing that God loves us just because He is love is that His love is so different from the world’s. It also can bother us a bit if we’re honest because we like to think we have done something to earn His love. But notice the order of the passage above and how different God’s love towards you is. Fill in the blanks below:

Since God chose you to be ___   _____   _________    ___    ___________, you must…

If God loved you the way the world does, the verse would read like this: “Clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, and humility, and then God will love you.” Do you see how different God’s love is? God wants you to obey Him, not so that He will love you, but because He already does.

Because He loves you, you must live like He does, and that means it’s time to wear some new clothes. Not clothes you get at the mall, but clothes that really make you stand out, that last, and make an impact on others. These are the clothes of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You have to decide to wear those each day, to put them on. It’s not always easy because putting these things on means going against the current rhythm of this world. But you are able to clothe yourself with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience because you have received the otherworldly love of God, and His love motivates you and keeps changing you!

From Eden:

Earning someone’s love is something we see on every social media platform and throughout daily life. I can think of so many movies where the girl feels like she has to change herself to be liked. I think of that kid who feels that he needs to change to be loved by his parents. Or maybe we think, I will only be popular and liked if I’m a better athlete. The list goes on and on. It’s so easy to believe this is true because of what the world tells us.

God’s attitude toward us could not be more different! This verse says that God chose me. He chose me because He loves me. He didn’t choose me because I’m a great athlete or because I’m pretty. He loves me because He loves me. The world can beat us up as teens. It is honestly really hard to even believe someone could love and choose me just because they love me. It’s also a daily battle to remember this and respond to situations with this in mind.

Sometimes I just don’t want to be kind and gentle to someone who has hurt me. But God is kind and gentle, and He invites me to be the same way. My parents often remind my sister and me of this. When we struggle to respond in a Christlike way, it’s because we have forgotten what He has done for us. This is true! If I struggle to show mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, it’s because I have forgotten how freely God shows these to me daily. These are not my natural responses in my own skin. But because of the Holy Spirit, I can put on my new clothes!

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I thought about his comment all day. He said it with a sense of regret. “The only time I come to the lake now is for work.” He moved to the area for the lake, but now the lake is only work for him.

His experience is a massive danger and a caution for ministry leaders. Just as he moved for the beauty of the lake, we can get pulled into ministry because we see the beauty of God transforming lives. But just as he has lost his sense of awe because the lake became his job, we can lose our awe as the work of God becomes commonplace for us.

If our awe for what God is doing through us is greater than our awe for what God has done for us in Christ, ministry becomes an idol. Ministry is an idol when we start to enjoy ministry more than God. Eventually, we will be left disappointed and empty, as anything that is not Him will always disappoint us. I know because, at times, I have replaced the God of ministry with ministry as my god on the throne of my life. By God’s grace, He has brought me to repentance and back to Himself.

We must fight to not lose our wonder for God. In my thirty years of ministry, here are four ways I have learned to fight.

1. Find ways to stir your wonder and awe.

I have learned that a long mountain bike ride, looking at His creation and listening to a sermon or worship music as I ride, stirs my awe for Him.

2. Tell yourself and others stories of His grace.

The daily grind of ministry and the reality that the job is never done necessitates moments when we take a step back to see all God is doing and watch in awe. Our team has a 45-minute story time where we hear stories of God’s saving, sustaining, and sanctifying grace, and the stories remind us of God’s grace in our own lives.

3. Don’t graduate from the basics.

Time in God’s Word, prayer, and fasting, worshiping not to evaluate but to enjoy—don’t move on from these sacred disciplines that God uses to keep us.

4. Do something you would only do as a Christian, outside of your role.

Go on a mission trip, volunteer to lead a high school Bible study (I did for four years, and it was so good for me), or serve as a greeter on your weekend off. Doing something outside of your role that reminds you of your identity as a servant will remind you why you got into this to begin with.

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The devotional I wrote with Eden is officially releasing today! You can get more info on the devo here.

This High Priest of ours [Jesus] understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

From Eric:

Being a teenager has always been challenging. Lots of books have been written about the struggles of teenage life. Your body changes, your mind develops, and you have to make choices about your future. You face struggles with friends or fitting in, and you have to stay on top of schoolwork and other activities too.

Teenagers sometimes forget a very encouraging truth: Jesus was a teenager once. When He walked this earth, Jesus was fully God and fully human. He lived in a teenage body and faced all the teenage pressures you face. We have only a few verses in the Bible about Jesus as a teenager, but we know that He “was obedient to [his parents] . . . [and] grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people” (Luke 2:51-52). Jesus went through puberty and grew physically. Jesus learned in school and grew mentally. Jesus made friends in His neighborhood and grew in relationships with people.

Whatever age you are right now, Jesus has already lived that very age. Struggling with people disappointing you? Jesus knows what that is like. Feeling overwhelmed with everything? Jesus was overwhelmed too. Whatever pressure you are facing, Jesus understands.

From Eden:

Transitioning from a kid to an adult is what we call adolescence, and it can be pretty weird and awkward. Now that I’m a junior in high school, I look so different from how I looked as a freshman. Things change a lot, and they change fast.

It’s a bit weird at first to think of the Jesus I worship and follow being a teenager. However, when I do, it’s actually really comforting. I’ve heard adults say they wish they could have skipped the horrible teenage years. That has always bothered me because, come on, teenage years can’t be all bad, right? Jesus could have easily chosen to skip the teenage years Himself, but He didn’t. Being fully God and fully man, He chose to experience all the teenage emotions. He had moments of sadness, He experienced emotional hurt, and I bet He even had friendship issues. Knowing that He went through these years so He could relate to me makes me remember how much He loves me.

Do you ever feel like no one understands you? Jesus does! Not only does He understand us, but He knows our innermost thoughts and feelings. The ones that no one else knows. The ones that hurt too much to say aloud. He knows them, understands them, and has great compassion on us. When I’m going through tough times, I do my best to remember that He understands because He experienced pain too. He experienced the worst kind of pain—the weight of all of my sin on the cross. He was thinking about us in that moment too!

Knowing that Jesus understands what it’s like to be a teenager is really inspiring too. Even though we are not perfect, we can still serve and impact others as Jesus did. We are not too young to be used by Him! I am currently seeing this to be true in my life. Along with a team of others, I help lead a Friday night Bible study for juniors and seniors who want to go deeper in their faith. It’s amazing to see what God is doing in our lives as we lead, but also in the lives of the teenagers who come every week. I am truly in awe that He is using me because I am so far from having it all together—but I am so thankful.

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Here is Day One of the devotional—the first half written by me; the second half written by Eden. The whole devotional is designed that way: encouragement from a pastor to a teenager, followed by encouragement from a teenager to a teenager.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (Psalm 139:13-14)

From Eric:

If you long for the day when you will be able to drive yourself to school or to Starbucks or to a friend’s house, you are not alone. Getting into a car—without your parents or a driving instructor— and driving down the road is a major milestone. If the car you want to drive (or are driving) is like most cars, it has around 30,000 parts and takes manufacturers 18 to 35 hours to make. You look at the car of your dreams and think, “This thing is awesome.” You never think, “This car just happened.” The fact that the car has been designed means it had a designer.

In a similar way, your incredibly intricate body points to a much greater Designer. It didn’t come into existence by chance.

Just think about the complexity of a car versus the complexity of the human body:

The car: 30,000 parts
Your body: 30,000,000,000,000 (30 trillion) cells

The car: 35 hours (on the high end)
You: 6,570 hours (or nine months)

God spoke the world into existence and created everything in six days. He said, “Let there be light,” and there was light (see Genesis 1:3). But with you, He took extra time. He did not just speak. He knit you together.

Just as your dream car points to a designer, you point to a Designer. God designed and created you, which means you are worth much more than a car. Not only because you have more cells and took longer to make, but because your Maker is God Himself. Your dream car will be worth less five years from now. That’s called “depreciation,” a word you’ll probably hear in some economics class. You don’t depreciate, though. Your worth remains because the One who created you set His image on you. (We will talk more about this on Day Two!)

From Eden:

As a teenager growing up in the social media era, the comparison game is real. Body image is a major concern for many of us. It’s challenging not to fixate on how we appear to others or how we stack up against people with tons of likes on Instagram or those stunning models. I have felt judged based on my style, my fitness, and even my height. It’s easy for our self-esteem to take a hit, and I’ve found myself wondering, “Why do I look like this?!”

“Ten years from now, no one will remember that pimple,” a friend might say. True, but today is today, not ten years from now! I need something to help me right now.

Psalm 139 helps me remember this. God is the One who made me, and He never makes mistakes. What He thinks of me is far more important than anyone else’s opinion. Next time you feel insecure about your appearance or abilities, remind yourself that you’ve been wonderfully made by the Creator of the universe!

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It has been over seven years now since I stepped into the role of senior pastor at Mariners Church. My predecessor, Kenton Beshore, served Mariners for 35 years of faithful and fruitful ministry. He has been massively encouraging and helpful to me throughout my entire tenure. A few snapshots that people find fascinating and give a view into his support:

• Kenton still attends the 4p service almost every Saturday night, sits in the front row where he takes notes, comes into the pastor study after the service to encourage the team, and if he has helpful feedback for me, he waits until everyone else leaves the room so we can discuss more deeply. I enjoy receiving his coaching as he is wise and committed to our church and to me.
• We have lunch once a month. I keep a running list of questions I want to ask him, but the time is mainly us connecting about life and ministry.
• When I began in my role seven years ago, Kenton made a few decisive moves that sent signals he was really transitioning. He moved his office to an off-site location. He is incredibly self-aware and knows he tends to lead every room he is in, so he was giving me space to lead. He shared with the elders, in our first meeting together, that he was coming to meetings only when I asked—that I was now the senior pastor. He made these decisions so I was never put in a position to even consider them.

Carey asked a very insightful question: “What could Kenton have done that would have sabotaged the transition? If he was going to mess it up, how would he have done it?” He didn’t. I don’t want this misquoted.

My response: He did not mess it up. His self-control and his emotional health are so strong. It would’ve been hard for him to do the thing to mess it up. But a formula for sabotaging succession would be about whispering. His voice, for a long time, was probably stronger than my voice. He just had to whisper, say some subtle things that would have sent signals we were not aligned. He could have derailed directions we were going with a whisper.

What kept Kenton from sabotage is his healthy walk with God and his humility. My predecessor has done a lot of dying to himself for the succession to be as fruitful as it has been, which is a picture of the Christian life. We bear fruit not by trying, but by dying to ourselves and trusting in our Savior.

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C.E.M. Joad wrote the book, The Recovery of Belief. He was a well-respected British philosopher and atheist. After seeing the horrors of World War II, he struggled with his own intellectual arguments that evil could be eradicated with better education. Seeing the atrocities convinced him of the doctrine of original sin, and he came to faith in Christ. Beatrice Webb was one of the architects of modern welfare. She kept a diary, and in 1925, she went back, looked at her older diary, and wrote, “In my diary, 1890, I wrote, ‘I have staked everything on the essential goodness of human nature.’ Now, 35 years later, I realize how permanent the evil impulses and instincts in us are and how little they seem to change, like greed for wealth and power, and how mere social machinery will never change that.” The modern explanations of what is wrong with the world are found lacking, even cruel, because they offer no real hope.

The book of Genesis explains what is wrong with the world—our sin, selfishness, and rebellion against God. John Stott stated, “The essence of sin is man subsisting himself for God.” In the Garden, Adam and Eve did just that. Your command is not good. We want to be the ones who decide. We want to be our own gods. While none of the other explanations for what is wrong with this world give us hope, admitting that sin is the problem is actually what leads to good news, because there is a Savior for our sin. 

After sin entered the world, God made the announcement that One would come to crush the head of our enemy, Satan. Christmas was announced in the third chapter of the Bible.

When we hid, He hunted us.

…they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. So the LORD God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8-9)

 God did not give up on Adam and Eve, and He has not given up on you. He searched for them in the Garden, and when Jesus arrived here, He declared He came to search for you.

When we lost, He foretold victory.

I will put hostility between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring.
He will strike your head,
and you will strike his heel.
(Genesis 3:15)

This is known as the first gospel announcement—that One is going to come who is going to strike the head of the enemy. The announcement goes against lineage and genealogy rules of ancient cultures because the offspring is only the offspring of a woman. This is the announcement that Jesus would enter this world. We have the picture below hanging in our home. Mary is comforting Eve because a time is coming when the Child she is carrying will crush the enemy. When Jesus entered our world, He placed Himself on the cross to make a spectacle of our enemy, as we were given life through His death. When He walked out of the tomb, death was defeated. For those of us who have believed in Jesus, we belong to Him now. 

When we sinned, He sacrificed

The LORD God made clothing from skins for the man and his wife, and he clothed them. (Genesis 3:21)

In Adam and Eve’s sin and shame, they foolishly attempted to cover themselves with fig leaves. They attempted to cover their own shame to no avail. God, in His mercy, made clothes for them from the skins of an animal. God slew an animal in the Garden to cover Adam and Eve in their shame. The first sin is immediately followed by the first sacrifice, which points us to Christ, who sacrificed Himself to clothe us in His forgiveness and righteousness. John Stott finished his famous quote: “The essence of sin is man substituting himself for God, but the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for man.”

D.A. Carson beautifully wrote:

“If God had perceived that our greatest need was economic, he would have sent an economist. If he had perceived that our greatest need was entertainment, he would have sent us a comedian or an artist. If God had perceived that our greatest need was political stability, he would have sent us a politician. If he had perceived that our greatest need was health, he would have sent us a doctor. But he perceived that our greatest need involved our sin, our alienation from him, our profound rebellion, our death, and he sent us a Savior.”

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The Deceived, Deceiver

Jacob was a deceiver, and even his name carried that meaning. He deceived his father on his deathbed to steal the blessing from his brother. After fleeing for his life, he goes to his uncle’s home, where he meets Rachel. He found her beautiful and promised to work seven years for her father, in order to marry her. But on the wedding night, in an ancient act of deception, Rachel’s father substituted the less attractive sister as the bride. The next morning, Jacob discovered he had married the wrong woman. He had been jacobed—deceived.

The Unwanted Woman

The unwanted woman is Leah. Scripture doesn’t hide the pain: “When the Lord saw that Leah was neglected, he opened her womb…” (v. 31). Leah knew she was unloved. She knew she was second choice. She knew she was the woman Jacob never wanted. She did what many of us do when we feel unloved; she tried harder, trying to earn Jacob’s love through her children. She had a son and named him Reuben, saying, “…‘The LORD has seen my affliction; surely my husband will love me now’” (v. 32). But Jacob didn’t love her more. She had another son, Simeon. Still, nothing changed. She had a third son, Levi, declaring, “…‘At last, my husband will become attached to me because I have borne three sons for him’” (v. 34). Three children. Three attempts to earn love. Three times disappointed.

Then Leah had a fourth son. But this time, something was different. She named him Judah and said, “This time I will praise the LORD,” and then “Leah stopped having children” (v. 35). When she quit trying to achieve her husband’s affection and rejoiced that she had already received God’s attention and affection, she had peace. She stopped striving when she started resting in the love she already had from God.

Of the twelve tribes of Israel (Jacob’s new name), four come from Leah. Including the tribe of Judah. Jesus is the Lion from the tribe of Judah. Jesus comes from a deceiver and a woman who struggled with being loved because who Jesus comes from is who He comes for. Jesus comes for those who wonder if they are loved. He comes for those of who have been deceivers—and all of us have. Jesus has come here to the world He created to seek and to save you. He still pursues deceivers and those who feel unwanted. He still pursues people like us to make us His own.

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There are additional paradoxes that a Christian leader faces. Whether you lead in ministry or in the marketplace, you feel the tension of holding two truths at once. The temptation is to pick one side, but the art of leadership is learning to hold the “AND.” I have been spending a lot of time with Nehemiah recently, a leader who embraced the “AND.” God used Nehemiah to rebuild the broken wall in Jerusalem so that God’s people would no longer be in disgrace and could resettle in Jerusalem. Nehemiah embraced a series of paradoxes, and here are five paradoxes Christian leaders should also embrace.

1. Prayer and planning

Months after Nehemiah heard that the wall in Jerusalem was in ruins, the Persian king that Nehemiah served asked Nehemiah what was bothering him. Nehemiah prayed (Nehemiah 2:4) and then shared plans—specific plans he had been rehearsing in his mind for months, including how long he would be gone and the authority and resources he needed from the king. Nehemiah’s approach shatters the false dichotomy of prayer or planning—as if leaders must choose one or the other. Nehemiah was committed to prayer and planning, and both are on full display in the conversation with the king that altered his life and altered history.

Pray first. Then pray as you plan, but don’t disregard planning as if wise plans are unspiritual. God has given leaders their minds, and the Scripture presents an honorable view of wise planning (Proverbs 21:5 as an example).

2. Vision and execution

Nehemiah is often studied for his visionary leadership, as he cast a simple and clear and compelling vision for the people: “…Come, let’s rebuild Jerusalem’s wall, so that we will no longer be a disgrace” (Nehemiah 2:17). But Nehemiah also coordinated with incredible skill dozens of groups of people along the wall (Nehemiah 3). He did not merely whiteboard a preferred future. He threw himself into the work, mobilized people, and executed the vision he shared.

A leader who wants to share vision, while being removed from the execution, will eventually lead with a vision that is disconnected from the people and the work because the leader is disconnected from the people and the work. A leader who wants to share vision but not be involved in the execution of the vision will also lose credibility.

3. People and task

Nehemiah cared deeply about the task of rebuilding the wall. The job was completed in only fifty-two days, so he was exceptionally gifted at setting clear objectives, removing obstacles, ignoring distractions, and getting the important stuff done. He also cared for the people. The whole reason he asked to be sent to Jerusalem, from a posh palace in Susa, was for the people. Nehemiah cared for the people. He listed them by name in Nehemiah 3 and knew them. When opposition came, and the people grew weary, Nehemiah addressed their fears, reorganized the work, and reminded them of the Lord who was fighting for them (Nehemiah 4:14).

Leaders must care for the people doing the work, not just the work the people are doing. This must be especially true for Christian leaders in both marketplace and ministry roles. Our roles are for the people. Leaders exist for people, not people for leaders.

4. Affirmation and accountability

Nehemiah served those he led by providing both affirmation and accountability, depending on what the person and the team needed. For example, Nehemiah affirmed Baruch son of Zabbai, who “diligently repaired another section” (Nehemiah 3:20). Not only was Baruch encouraged, but the whole community saw zeal celebrated and, as Plato believed, “whatever is celebrated in a country, is cultivated there.” Nehemiah, whose name means “God comforts,” also provided accountability because accountability is not the opposite of comfort or encouragement. In fact, failure to hold people accountable is a discomfort for the whole group. Nehemiah confronted the laziness and the pride in the nobles of Tekoa who “did not lift a finger to help their supervisors.” (Nehemiah 3:5). The Tekoite nobles exalted themselves and are now forever humbled in the most read book in the history of the world—the Bible.

Affirming people for who they are and what they are contributing is caring, kind, and empowering. Accountability is kind too, not only to the person but to the whole team. Nothing demotivates a team more than jerks and apathetic team members who are never challenged or removed from the team for their attitude or their lack of contribution to the mission of the team.

5. Restlessness and rest

In the final chapter of Nehemiah, we see Nehemiah’s restlessness as he returns to Jerusalem to find that the people are breaking every one of their commitments to God. Nehemiah rebukes them and insists on changes. We also see Nehemiah resting in God as he concludes the book by trusting God, saying, “Remember me, my God, with favor” (Nehemiah 13:31). With confidence, Nehemiah prayed that God would remember him because God always keeps His gracious promises to His own. He did not know how long the wall he rebuilt would last, but he rested in the God who lasts forever.

Restlessness is common among leaders, but not all restlessness is sacred. Nehemiah’s restlessness was sacred because his ambition was for God to receive glory and for the people to be cared for. His restlessness was also sacred because it intermingled with rest. Restlessness connected to selfish ambition is never sacred. Nor is restlessness without rest because the lack of rest reveals a lack of trust in the God who never sleeps or slumbers. Restlessness rooted in resting in God’s grace and provision can be sacred, and leaders can hold both at the same time.

Embrace the “AND”!

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