tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52653422022567016442011-12-15T18:08:46.811-08:00The Funniest Rude Jokes on the Webandradinoreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-37782522867089410012010-01-12T17:27:00.000-08:002010-02-02T20:36:37.498-08:002010-02-02T20:36:37.498-08:00

A woman had just given birth to her twelfth baby when her doctor says,"You've just had your twelfth baby Miss. What are you going to name this one?" "Joe" "But you named the last eleven Joe" "Yeah its great. I say Joe go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say Joe come for dinner, they all come for dinner." "But what if you only want one of them?" "Oh! Then I call them by their last

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-2918948017464288002009-12-26T21:07:00.000-08:002010-02-02T20:36:42.355-08:002010-02-02T20:36:42.355-08:00

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door."We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Jones, but we have some information about your wife.""Well, tell me!" the man said.The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"Fearing the worse, Mr. Jones

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-85476274331005826792009-12-26T21:02:00.000-08:002009-12-26T22:36:21.875-08:002009-12-26T22:36:21.875-08:00

One day, a sick guy went to a doctor. The doctor ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to have to run a few more tests", the doctor said "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "Oh the doctor is going to need a pair of your underwear".

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-91093333422678042582009-12-16T04:50:00.000-08:002009-12-16T04:56:06.652-08:002009-12-16T04:56:06.652-08:00

One day a redneck farmer goes to farmers market and asks "Do you have any donkeys?" "Yes, but we call them asses" the man replies. "OK, I'll take one" says the farmer “Also I need a rooster, have you got any?" "No" replies the man “But we do have some cockrells, will that do?" "Sure" says the man "Gimme one of those too" When he arrived home he found that both his new animals were being quite

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-10146887254813422842009-11-30T03:36:00.000-08:002009-12-11T20:32:01.702-08:002009-12-11T20:32:01.702-08:00

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?""About 34," was the reply. "I'm actually 46," says the man happily.About a while later he went for lunch to McDonald's and asks the order

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-35998458905645061102009-11-30T03:09:00.000-08:002010-02-02T20:36:46.816-08:002010-02-02T20:36:46.816-08:00

One morning, a husband, turns to his lovely wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend, just you, me and the dog."The wife frowns, "But I don't like fishing!""Look! We're going fishing and that's final.""Do I have to go...? I really don't want to go!""Ok, I'll give you three choices... One, You come fishing with me and the dog... Two, You give me a bl*w job.... or Three, you take it up the a$

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-10859964711316897872009-11-30T02:38:00.000-08:002009-11-30T02:51:53.368-08:002009-11-30T02:51:53.368-08:00

A man is in a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your p*nis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-74621267828180571362009-11-28T23:25:00.000-08:002009-11-30T03:50:25.445-08:002009-11-30T03:50:25.445-08:00

A young man goes into a drug store to buy c*ndoms. The pharmacist says the c*ndoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants."Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-47021676169143703492009-10-18T17:54:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:05:06.610-07:002009-10-18T18:05:06.610-07:00

One day a man went to the supermarket to buy some boneless chicken breasts. At the store, however, he was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so he complained to the butcher lady."Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."A few minutes later, he heard the lady butcher's voice boom over

andradinoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-7753885330163198182009-09-29T04:22:00.000-07:002009-11-30T03:50:12.648-08:002009-11-30T03:50:12.648-08:00

Three nuns were having a rest one afternoon and one of the nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and guess what I found? A bunch of p*rnographic magazines...!" "So, what did you do?" the other nuns asked."Well, of course I threw them in the trash."And then the second nun said, "Well, when I was in Father's room putting away the laundry, I found a bunch of c*ndoms...!" "Oh my!"

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-90546144265523927372009-09-16T15:02:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:14:36.614-07:002009-10-18T18:14:36.614-07:00

A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?" The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his @ss.

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-76208860637324523872009-09-15T10:49:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:09:00.912-07:002009-10-18T18:09:00.912-07:00

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 glasses of beer. The bartender asked, "What's the matter?," and the guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay. "I'm sorry to hear that." replied the bartender.After a couple of days, the guy comes back and orders 15 glasses of beer. The bartender asked, "What's the matter now?" and the guy responds that he just found out that his older son

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-50493907054993735612009-09-13T12:16:00.000-07:002009-11-30T03:54:13.262-08:002009-11-30T03:54:13.262-08:00

Three explorers are captured by a tribe in an Amazon jungle and the Chief is going to punish them for entering their sacred land. So he calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, "Death or Booka?!". The explorer didn't wanna die, so he chooses booka. The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! dances around, and the chief then rips the explorers pants off and f*cks him in the a$$.The

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-35378647476434343432009-09-13T11:58:00.000-07:002009-12-04T20:44:57.590-08:002009-12-04T20:44:57.590-08:00

A woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband,"Jim, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!""Great! Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?""Whatever. Just make sure you're out of the house by noon!"

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-17803068829286691082009-09-07T22:03:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:10:07.512-07:002009-10-18T18:10:07.512-07:00

One night as a way to save money, a young couple had an idea that every time they have s*x the husband puts his pocket change into a piggy bank near their bed. But after they had s*x one night, the husband accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes in pieces.When he looked onto the floor, he was surprised to see a few five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-38572900769568247432009-09-07T13:07:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:11:37.495-07:002009-10-18T18:11:37.495-07:00

An army camp in an Afghanistan desert had just received a new commander. During the new commander's first inspection he saw a camel tied to a tree not far from the camp.The commander asked what the camel is for, and one of the soldiers who had been there for years explained to him that sometimes the men get very lonely since there aren't any women there, and when they do, they usually use the

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-87916264073639020512009-09-07T01:57:00.000-07:002009-10-16T20:03:58.952-07:002009-10-16T20:03:58.952-07:00

One day an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant went to the doctor to have a sperm count done.The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The old man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.Doctor: What was the problem?Old Man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-10194655620624918152009-09-05T12:32:00.000-07:002009-10-19T22:11:27.852-07:002009-10-19T22:11:27.852-07:00

A young female teacher was giving her class of first graders questions of what's behind my back.On the first one she asks "Behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?". "An apple!" replied little Thomas. "No," said the teacher " It's a tomato but it shows your thinking.""I've now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it." "An apple," replied little

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-23279917193159163652009-09-05T12:16:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:12:26.981-07:002009-10-18T18:12:26.981-07:00

One day a man asked his friend why he never got married. His friend replied "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl.""Oh, come on now," said the man. "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.""Yes, there was one girl... once." said the friend. "I guess she was the one perfect girl -- the only perfect girl I really

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-21712953295454244802009-09-05T12:07:00.000-07:002011-12-15T17:49:42.710-08:002011-12-15T17:49:42.710-08:00

One night after watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, a man and his wife went to bed and the man was feeling a bit frisky.He asked his wife if she was in the mood for s*x. But his wife answered, "Sorry but not tonight dear, I have a headache."The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes!" "Ok, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-46542911839648250312009-09-05T11:30:00.000-07:002009-10-16T20:04:54.986-07:002009-10-16T20:04:54.986-07:00

A woman got married and had 5 children, but then her husband died. She married again and had 4 more children. Again, Her husband died. She remarried again for the third time and this time had 3 more children. Alas, she finally died.Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."One mourner leaned

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-73222113022587368982009-09-05T11:27:00.000-07:002009-10-16T20:04:59.105-07:002009-10-16T20:04:59.105-07:00

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every night, she goes to Howies's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going out of my mind, What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Howie's bar?"

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-3736024003905165182009-09-01T09:32:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:12:33.649-07:002009-10-18T18:12:33.649-07:00

A Preacher was driving down in a rural country area when his car breaks down.Then comes a local farmer in his pickup truck and he offers the preacher a ride. About a few miles down the road, The Farmer sees a sheep with its head stuck on a fence.The Farmer stops his truck, walks over to the sheep, pulls down his pants and starts havings s*x with it.The Farmer returns to his truck and starts up

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-2813902473714439412009-08-29T02:43:00.000-07:002009-12-01T06:51:21.760-08:002009-12-01T06:51:21.760-08:00

One day, two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the husband called his wife a "b*tch" and the wife called her husband a "b*stard". Their son walked in on them and asks "What does b*tch and b*stard mean?" and his parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have s*x, the wife said "feel my t*tties" and the husband said "feel my d*ck". Again, their son walked

andradinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265342202256701644.post-76896408769616048602009-08-28T13:15:00.000-07:002009-08-28T13:28:00.593-07:002009-08-28T13:28:00.593-07:00

*SICK JOKE CAUTION*A truck driver picks up a female hitchhiker as he drives by.After a while, the truck driver pulls over on the side of the road and the woman asks him what he's doing. He asks her if she wants to have s*x and she says "I can't I'm on my period." He says, "Well, that doesn't matter." So they get in the back of the truck and he is eating her out. A police officer drives by and

andradinoreply@blogger.com0