Adolescence has hit our house hard. I have several reminders I say to myself over and over:
don’t take it personally,
don’t engage,
choose your battles,
remember that her brain is not fully developed yet,
murder is a crime.

It’s like that Twilight Zone episode with Billy Mumy who has special powers and can wish you into a cornfield if you displease him. What is going to set her off today – is it saying Hello? Is it walking into the room? At times it’s like my husband and I are tiptoeing around and thinking, “Please don’t turn me into a jack-in-the-box.”

What I love most about parenting is the work that it requires you to do on yourself. It’s really not about our children, it’s about how we react to them. As an introvert, navel-gazing and self-absorption and an obsession with “why did I do that?” are second nature to me. Parenting brings the issues to the forefront and I love wrestling with the big questions.

I take my soft moments with her as they come: watching Lost together, walking around Old Town and eating fudge, tickling her back while we sit on the sofa, discussing David Tennant versus Matt Smith. We are raising her with all the freedom and support that we can muster, so now I have to give her the benefit of the doubt and trust in all of us.

Sometimes I have a hard time pulling it together at 4:30 to start dinner. But I am firm in my belief that eating good food with people you love is one of the best things life has to offer. So I crank up my playlist and get to work.

Of course, I never sell or share your information.

I work four mornings a week at an adult enrichment center. We offer stimulation and community for people with dementia and moderate Alzheimer’s, and a respite for their caregivers. Aging can be unforgiving and there’s nothing better than looking at those on the front lines to make you think about what’s around the corner. It has a way of focusing your attention on retirement funds and living in the present and taking better care of yourself.

I can only imagine what it’s like to be trapped in a thin slice of time without your memories as a soft cocoon around you. To know that you have a daughter but not remember her name.

I came across this poem in The Spectator today that meshes with thoughts of impermanence.

Canoe
Well, I am thinking this may be my last
summer, but cannot lose even a part
of pleasure in the old-fashioned art of
idleness. I cannot stand aghast

at whatever doom hovers in the background;
while grass and buildings and the somnolent river,
who know they are allowed to last forever,
exchange between them the whole subdued sound

of this hot time. What sudden fearful fate
can deter my shade wandering next year
from a return? Whistle and I will hear
and come another evening, when this boat

travels with you alone towards Iffley:
as you lie looking up for thunder again,
this cool touch does not betoken rain;
it is my spirit that kisses your mouth lightly.

by Keith Douglas

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 50th birthday. My friends took me out and spent the night making feel loved and appreciated, the way good friends do. And they plied me with candy and strong sugar-rimmed lemon drops, which are a sure way to my heart.

50 doesn’t feel any different (not that any birthday does). I guess I’m less willing to waste my time on projects I’d rather not do, and I’m very comfortable saying no. I can look around me while keeping my judgment on a leash and I care less about what people think. You know, the normal stuff of growing up.

I finished reading “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” by Katrina Kenison and it dovetails nicely with my feeling that I need to slow down and savor each day. As my daughter gets older and turns outward, I look for ways to keep our connection strong. So yesterday instead of finishing some odds and ends left over from my work day, I asked her if she wanted to play a game. She chose Monopoly.

Here’s a shoot from back in November at the Hollywood Bowl with one of my favorite families. You know how families have their own culture? Maybe they’re athletic, or introverted and bookish, or crazy hat-wearing theater major types. This family has a culture of Star Wars and Harry Potter and science fiction and strong family ties and enjoying life together as a family on their own terms.

Genevieve is working on her second knitting book. Her first book, Vampire Knits, can be found here.

I always have fun with them and they’re always up for an adventure. At our last session we met at a Pasadena metro station. This year, Genevieve wanted to go to the Hollywood Bowl. She and her husband had one of their first dates at the Bowl and they go often with their kids. They’ve created so many memories there and I thought it would be a great place to shoot.

Our breakfast room is the hub of our household. We meet around the table for homework, family meetings, board games, science projects, bagels on Sunday mornings and hot chocolate before school. My husband listens to NPR and drinks coffee in the morning and we eat In-N-Out on Saturday nights.

The floor beneath the table is always littered with crumbs, scraps of paper, Legos, pieces of clay, smashed grapes, pencils, bits of pipe cleaner, etc.

Sometimes it drives me crazy and sometimes I feel grateful simply that we own a home where such a mess can be made.

I love the life that happens around our table, so I’ve decided to start a project where I document it. In the weeks to come, you’ll see a lot of this table.

“Rebecca works magic behind the lens; she creates still images that tell a story. When I look at photos Rebecca has taken of me and my family, I’m immediately transported to that time and space again and the essence of the moment. Rebecca’s photos are far from posed – they’re captured moments that speak to you, draw you in, move you; art in its purest form.”

Christine O’Brien, Altadena ~ January 2013 (4th Lifestyle Session)

“Rebecca really captured the side of my family that people rarely see. When I saw the slide show she put together it brought tears to my eyes. I really appreciated how she was able to get picture of my son who rarely smiles in pictures both smiling and laughing.”

Jennifer McCreight, Pasadena ~ January 2013 (1st Lifestyle Session)

“When I needed a headshot for my business website, I knew I wanted Rebecca to take it. We had done family portraits with her a while back, and they were wonderful. Rebecca has a way of capturing the essence of a person in her photographs, and that was what I needed for my professional photos. I’ve gotten many compliments on the pictures she took, and I am grateful that she captured my professional side so well.”
Kim Tso, Temple City ~ January 2013

“Every time I see the photographs you took of our family – on my phone, on the wall in our home, on our computer screensaver, wherever they turn up – I can’t help smiling. They make me feel, I don’t know any other way to put it, joyful. They completely capture our family and how we are together, and give me the rare chance to sit back and enjoy seeing all of us together.

I’ve had several people stop me in the hall at school to tell me how much they loved our Christmas card and to ask about who took the photographs. My parents love it when I have you take our photos because they know they’ll be getting calendars to put up in their home. I even made decks of playing cards this year with the kids’ photos…another big hit. Honestly, I love what you do for us, the way you capture us at a time in our life. What an incredible investment for our family and what an amazing gift you have of capturing people with your camera!

Thank you!”
Amy C., Sierra Madre ~ 2012 (2nd Lifestyle session)

“Love, love, love them!
I gave Matt the photographs you took of Molly and Katie for his Christmas gift. He had tears in his eyes when he saw them! They’re now hanging in our living room where we can see them every day.
We are soooo lucky to have these forever.”
Gwen Hourihan, Pasadena ~ 2012 (2nd Lifestyle Session)

“Oh. My. God. I Love, Love, Love our family photos.
We just moved into a new home and I have the perfect spot to display them. When I look at the photos of my girls it brings tears to my eyes, they are growing up so fast and you captured their pure beauty at this moment in time!! I will cherish these pictures always, and we all really enjoyed and appreciate you spending the day with us and capturing such wonderful photographs. Honestly, words cannot describe how much I love them and how grateful I am to have them.
Thank You Rebecca, you are Truly Talented!!”
Maria Thompson, Sierra Madre ~ 2012 (1st Lifestyle Session)

“Rebecca,
Spending the afternoon with you enjoying the beautiful surroundings and light was really a pleasure. We love our family portraits! Thank you for capturing the gorgeous afternoon light and the moments in time that are so fleeting. Your work is truly special.”
The DiGiovanni Family, Pasadena ~ 2012 (1st Lifestyle Session)

“thanks, rebecca! you worked your magic once again … i love them!
thank you for trekking out there with us … the pics were worth it.”
Christine O’Brien, Altadena ~ 2012 (3rd Lifestyle Session)

“Rebecca was wonderful to work with! We talked about a variety of locations that would work for our family and came up with something that was not only artistically interesting, but worked well with our family’s personality. She was patient – working with 5 personalities can be trying – and most of the time followed our lead, especially the children’s. She captured the essence of us and the beauty of our children in her photographs. She even managed to make me see myself in a whole new light through her lens. My kids were asking just the other day when we get to take more photos with her.”
Genevieve Miller, Pasadena ~ 2012 (1st Lifestyle Session)

“Trying to capture a family of five moving targets is no easy feat, yet Rebecca handled it with ease. Working with Rebecca to document our family in photos was like spending an afternoon with a good and very patient friend. She spent time getting to know all five of us–our interests and stories, and her photos suggest a depth of feeling and expression beyond what we’d ever hoped. She finds beauty in moments, gestures and expressions that the ordinary person wouldn’t ever notice. Her photos are both art and history combined and we never get tired of admiring them!”
The Ramirez family, Pasadena ~ 2011 (1st Lifestyle Session)

“My family has had four photography sessions with Rebecca. She has a talent for capturing special moments in a candid and relaxed way. Her style of shooting is very comfortable and allowed us to interact naturally. With an artistic eye, Rebecca transforms the ordinary into something more – photographs that become keepsakes for generations.”
Lisa Bloom, Pasadena ~ 2011 (2nd Lifestyle Session)

“I loved having Rebecca take my photographs! It wasn’t boring at all. She’s not like my mom – my mom says ‘Smile! No, not like that,’ and ‘Stand like this, move to the right, now smile again’. Rebecca made it fun – we basically just walked around and talked. I’d do it again!”
Jocelyn Borys, Pasadena (1st Simplicity Session)

Books I’ve read lately that I love: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman, and the Sue Grafton books – I’m on “N” of her Kinsey Millhone series.

Movies streaming on Netflix: Melancholia (not his best, but I love Lars von Trier), Slings and Arrows, Session 9 (moody and beautifully shot), and Friday Night Lights.

Okay, Friday Night Lights. This show is seriously good. But I warn you, you may fall in love with Tami Taylor and become obsessed with Tim Riggins, and the characters may pull you into their world and break your heart.

I grew up in a small town with a football program like this one – sometimes we’ll be watching and I’ll turn to my husband and say “We did that” or “That happened in my town” – and that’s probably one reason I love this show, but even if you don’t know the first thing about football, if you love character studies and good writing, you will probably love it too.