Seriously.

It’s been a long week. It was also my birthday.

I’m a LVL 25 Nerd.

So, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been put in to contact with a very interesting photographer based out of London and Barcelona.

You can check out his work at www.tomhayton.com

So, Tom also does 1 Day workshops on photography, and to help promote that he needed a quickie. A short little video that was cool enough to get more people to check it out. Tom needed it fast, too.
So, we worked out a short script and I got to work and a couple hours later we had made this:

Hope you guys like it as much as I liked making it.

Let’s start off with this, shall we?

Islamic officials in Malaysia warned Muslims against celebrating Valentine’s Day, linking it with vice activities. Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin said the celebration of romantic love was “not suitable” for Muslims. Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz, head of the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim), which oversees the country’s Islamic policies said a fatwa (ruling) issued by the country’s top clerics in 2005 noted the day ‘is associated with elements of Christianity,’ and ‘we just cannot get involved with other religion’s worshipping rituals.’ Jakim officials planned to carry out a nationwide campaign called “Awas Jerat Valentine’s Day”(“Mind the Valentine’s Day Trap”), aimed at preventing Muslims from celebrating the day on 14 February 2011. Activities include conducting raids in hotels to stop young couples from having unlawful sex and distributing leaflets to Muslim university students warning them against the day.

On Valentine’s Day 2011, Malaysian religious authorities arrested more than 100 Muslim couples concerning the celebration ban. Some of them would be charged in the Shariah Court for defying the department’s ban againsts the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

SOURCE: Wikipedia.org

“Activities include conducting raids in hotels to stop young couples from having unlawful sex.”
So, we live in the dark ages then. It’s official.

So, now that we’re past that dark shit. I think it’s about time that I, Doctor Gill, spread some words on ‘love’.

Love, well, let’s be honest, it’s a pain in the ass. Especially if you’re not in to it. You gotta jump in with both feet or seal your fate with doom before you even get a chance to realise what you’ve just lost. Love is something that is shared. I don’t mean the love of your parents, or friends, or family. I mean that special love that only your woman/man will ever know.

Don’t be afraid to show your weak side with that special someone. When shit hits the fan, you should know that your significant other is there to pick you up, no matter what. You better return the favour. It’s not a weakness to share pain with that special one, for them it should be a goddamned privilege and honor, for you, it should be a right.

Always share. Everything. Nothing can ever be counted a lie, if you always tell the truth. If you find yourself often lying to your significant other, ponder why you do it.

Is it because you’re afraid of his or her reaction? Is it because you prefer to hide something that may potentially hurt them? Or is it simply because you can’t trust them? Remember, trust is earned.

People nowadays take this relationship thing too lightly. Doc never steps in unless it’s with both feet. It’s a commitment, and a journey, and an honour, and a gift. If you’ve found that person, then even I am happy for you. If you haven’t well, this next bit is for you…

Before you avid fans have a chance to call me a homo, fuck you. I’m a tough motherfucker, but there’s one thing that even the toughest man will admit: his woman is his life. Without her, he has no real reason to exist or to do anything. Without her, he is the physical embodiment of nothing. But, he has many other reasons on why he loves her. It’s not what she does for him, it’s what she does TO him. I don’t mean sexually, I mean, feelings that a man will never feel in his lifetime if she hadn’t come along. I know I’m not alone on this point, that’s why I ain’t ashamed to post it here.

Ask John McClane.

So, for all of you out there who may be curious as to just what the fuck happened to that woman or man that you love. What changed, and why is it you hate each other now? Why is it that you can’t stand the fucking sight of her in that god damned stained purple house coat? Why the smell of his hair left on your pillow sends a blazing heat of anger to the top of your skull? Or even, why your kids are ugly?

I present a simple text that may have the answers you need.

http://www.stresscure.com/relation/succeed.html

Enjoy, bitches, and Happy Valentine’s Derp.

Today I thought I’d share some new stuff I found, I think these are two amazing examples of the power of motion graphics. I hope you like them as much as I do.

Troll Slayer from Jullien Brothers on Vimeo.

Danton Diphthong: Episode 1 from alex varanese on Vimeo.

As cool as the first video is, I gotta hand the prize over to Danton Dipthong as being one of the most interesting, well written, well animated and beautifully designed vids I’ve seen in A LONG TIME.

Kudos to you Alex Varanese, you are indeed worthy of respect!

On another note, here’s something I think we can all apply this year.
This is from the boys over at creativesomething.net

Here’s a brief history of the events that led to that point.

Well, the year was 1987, and the sun was glowing a pale white against a grey backdrop sky one February morning. It was the 18th and mother was in labour. After a few short pushes, I was born in to the world. The doctor spanked me to check if I was alive. I slapped him in the face and said “how’s it feel to have your butt slapped?” In shock he turned to his nurses who now had full view of the biggest baby penis they’ve ever seen. In unison, the three nurses said “oooh,”, I wiggled, “ahhhh.”

Moving on.

Eventually, my body grew to match the size of my glorious penis. I was thirteen years old, I was in a foreign country that I had to call home. Being an utter failure in school, and constantly rebelling against their primitive tyranny, I soon realised that when I’m out of school, I’m not going to be qualified for anything.

A heavy interest in arts, film, music and pornography automatically gave me many ideas. So, I began to study Flash. Remember, I was 13, and Flash was still owned by Macromedia. Ahhh, good times.

I got a few clients and began my freelancing career. It was hard, and I’m pretty sure there’s still a bunch of douches out there that still owe me money. But, I shall let it slide.

Moving on.

College was a great experience, despite it’s long overnighters and heavy workload, I made a good group of friends. Family, almost. We would work endlessly to achieve goals. I had two full time jobs through out college, and I was still freelancing.

Then we got jobs. In the college. Because it got bought over.
For reals.

We ended up working together in an understaffed, underpaid and underpowered company. Here’s the best part, they wanted us to pull off magic. But, as hard as it was, we did it. We survived horrible bosses, idiot office politics, shitty sound editors and overall fuckness.

Then I managed to get another job. And I was happy!

For about 5 minutes.

Then life got too real again. Then BOOM! Fired.

So, in essence, the final act of registering RedBlack Labs as an actual company, not a secret side project from my bedroom any more was a full-on Hail Mary play.

Let me explain.

After a year and a half at this company, I was fired. It was a bad break up.

I played an essential role in this place. I was the only video team employee for roughly 8 months and I handled a lot of work.

At the end of the day I got a nice… well, the image says it all.

But, it was a blessing in disguise. It had been ten years since I was thirteen and started doing this gig. Ten years of this had made me angry. I had taken it up the ass way too much.

I managed to get a severance package. Two months of my shitty pay check. Well, it’s now or never I thought. When else will I have two months salary where I didn’t have to go to work?

 
So, I played a Hail Mary. It’s now or never.

That was a year ago. 11th January 2011. Believe it or not, that date was unintentional, to me it was just Monday. Only when I was filling out the form did I realise the epicness of the date.

So, I’ve survived with the help of some friends and some great contacts. Thanks guys.

What 2012 will hold, well, hopefully 2012 will hold my nuts and call me daddy.
Here’s to one year of getting by, and to the next year of getting BIG.

I leave you with this:

Peace.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed 2012 is right around the corner! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

In the mean time, I’d like to share some retrospective thoughts on some of the things I’ve come to learn about clients and work and being your own boss.

First, let me just say that this isn’t intended to insult ANY of my current clients, I like you guys, that’s why we still work together. The following is more directed at the clients that thought they were bigger than God, however, didn’t have the bank to cash that claim… or cash me for that matter.

I started doing freelance at the tender age of thirteen. I’ve been through a lot, I’ve seen a lot of things and I’ve kissed my share of ass. But, am I a client managing machine? Far from it. I have learned that clients are like Pokemon. Why?

A) You gotta catch ‘em all!

B) Some are great, but most of them suck.

C) You’ll care if you lose some, but you hope the rest of them die.

The Good

Let’s start with the good clients. There were a few, and I love them.

Things weren’t always perfect, but at least I could count on them replying emails, or phone calls. I could ask them about an update on payment and not get any adolescent lip.

They were understanding to problems and issues that were out of my control, they were sympathetic when giant fuck-ups would occur. Like rolling blackouts and thunderstorms frying equipment.

They pay or write me a check according to the terms we agree or the terms on my quote or invoice, and if they can’t make payment just yet, they let me know in advance.

If my quote is too high, they let me know in a nice way. We talk about it in perfect candor and work together to a point we’re both happy with. Then, they pay the requested deposit upfront and work commences.

These are the clients I like.

3 or 4 months after a job is completed they may come back to me with a small change or a tiny tweak; for client behaviour like theirs I’m willing to make the tweak immediately and at no charge.

But, they are rare, and it’s important that I take care of them.

The Bad

Here’s the juicy bit.

There exists, in this world, a sect of clients that don’t know their asses from their heads. Clients that assume that you can handle any task they throw at you. They expect it in record time, too.

Remember, they do not respect you. They think you’re just a freelancing douche. That you’re only doing this because it’s a hobby you’ve picked up. It’s not the tens of thousands of hours you’ve spent slaving in front of books and machines learning about it, no, it’s just a hobby.

These are the ones I hope I never see again.

They refuse to accept any quote you offer, and they refuse to tell you their budget. But, they expect you’re best work.  These are the clients I’ve only taken on as life savers. Sadly, there have been times when work was a little dry and I needed a quick pick me up. Clients like them prey on times like that.

These are the WORST paymasters.

If you manage to get an agreed price with them, they will push you and push you. They will call regardless of how busy you are, how few hours you’ve slept and what family crisis you’re currently dealing with. They throw their weight around like Sumo’s on a speedboat.

I’ve had to stay awake completing their project for 5 -6 nights in a row. No sleep. Then, they still have the balls to call and try to screw me over the phone.

Occasionally, even I snap a little and give them logical answers to their idiot questions. Things that throw their own stupidity back in their faces.

For instance, the classic idea of having too many chefs in the kitchen. Yup. 4 or 5 different people in charge, each coming up with content and revisions for you. None of them communicating with each other.

This has happened many times. In the end, the final result is not what the client wanted. Why? Because they aren’t even sure what they want.

There are times when they’ll push up a deadline because they’ve only just realised that if they get the work sooner, it fits in with the rest of their marketing. One might think the deadline’s are given based on the marketing plan, but, no. Not with these clients. They just kind of, aim in the dark and fire at the calender.

Then after all is said and done, and all your work is over, no more sleepless, work filled nights, no more running on fumes, you sit back and wait for payment.

You’re invoice clearly states that payment should be made within seven days of  the date. Nothing to do but wait, right?

Wrong. Dead wrong.

After all the constant stress of telephone calls and emails, the client that has done nothing but fuck you for 3 or 4 weeks straight has quietly and calmly disappeared off the face of the earth.

No calls answered, no messages returned, no emails replied.

Months go by.

Sometimes even a year or two.

These are the clients that no one should ever have to work with. These are the clients that didn’t have money to pay you in the first place. I know what you’re thinking, “but, these guys are huge!”

I thought that, too. The bigger ones are even worse. Their lack of professionalism and lack of proficiency is appalling. They have the money, in fact they’ve got shit loads of money. But, not one of them can figure out how to write a cheque.

All payments to outside contractors should be placed in escrow and delivered immediately upon project completion.

Assholes.

And, finally…..

The Ugly

Seriously, how is this a celebrity?

Well guys, that’s it for this post. Here’s hoping 2012 will be filled with a better class of clientelle for us all.
Keep your eyes peeled for tell-tale signs you’re dealing with an idiot. Probably a post I’ll write sometime next year.

Have a great new year!

- Doc

What’s up LabRats?

We are still building this new and improved site, so bear with us while we go out there and generate some content.
Check back soon for updates.

Peace and love.

- Doc

Click on the image for full size album art.

For those of you who remember the old album (Scream for the Sake of Man), you should know that due to a technical error, that album may not ever be released, all I can offer now is the one almost finished track titled, oddly, “Almost.” Download it below.

Download the single “Almost” from the (unreleased) Scream for the Sake of Man album here!

Right click “Save File As” to download.