red cow rise

#MMONBI You don't have to crap up your posts

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sun, 27 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

Previously: Getting started, community building, roundup

One of the recurring bits of advice from seasoned bloggers is the importance of graphics to relieve a wall of text. That's not bad advice, but if you exercise it incorrectly you do a disservice to your post!

On my site, I make an effort to use primarily screenshots - not only that, but screenshots that I personally have taken. I loathe using pictures from other sources in my posts because it makes it feel less like my work. Which doesn't mean I won't do it or that you shouldn't - it just means more work to properly credit the source. There's also the pesky reality that the original picture could be moved or taken down. Sometimes I will save and reupload the picture so it's hosted by my picasa album, but source the page I got it from.

But I'm getting away from my point, which is consistency and relevance. I said I like to use screenshots, which means that using non-game images like photographs and graphics happens only when necessary. It breaks the overall consistency of my blog, but sometimes you really need a picture of yourself in a Spongebob costume! (high five if you recall that) Then there's relevance. I could google the word "relevance" and pick the first clip art picture that comes up, but it would have NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. I would be trying to force an unrelated picture into my post solely for the sake of having one. It would be completely at odds with the other images I keep on my blog. Frankly, in my opinion, doing this looks generic and unsophisticated.

Unless you can make random clip art your schtick, at least try to pick images that have something to do with your overall blog content and theme. If you use images that aren't yours, credit the source. Explain the purpose of the image, either with a caption or by putting it near an appropriate paragraph. Don't just put images willy-nilly in your posts because you feel like you need to have them. And for everyone's sake stay away from clip art unless it's absolutely necessary!

So this is probably more of a rant than actual advice. I'm sorry if you do this in your blog posts and it sounds like I'm complaining at you. I was reading a post earlier today that had some completely random pictures pulled from google and they destroyed the message. At first I thought they were ads! Then I spent way too long trying to figure out what they had to do with the paragraph they were closest to. Way too much work! Don't let your imagery detract from your blog posts!

Can someone explain pandaren lore to me?

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Thu, 24 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

[not-so-spoilers: brief reference to pandaren starting area general plot in brackets; otherwise just speculation based on currently available information]

Lore nerds, I need your help! I have some questions about pandaren. I read WoW Insider's guide to pandaren roleplay recently, which was very helpful, but I have some logistical questions about the Wandering Isle.

We know that all playable pandaren will be from the Wandering Isle. That means they are descendants of the original adventurous pandaren that chose to leave Pandaria to travel the world. Some of that adventurous spirit must still remain, but I wonder if after so long they don't also get some odd birds that like their simple island life and don't feel the need to adventure. Not to mention that exploration would necessitate actually leaving the Wandering Isle. Just standing on the edge and peeking at other islands flowing by doesn't seem very adventurous.

Chen Stormstout, a native of the Wandering Isle, left the island to explore Kalimdor (probably spending most of his time wall-jumping trying to get into hidden areas). How many other pandaren have left the island in order to explore? Do they return - can they return? Have they heard about the changes to Azeroth - things like the orcs invading, draenei crashing, Gilneans emerging, goblins joining the Horde? After all, they've been on the Wandering Isle for centuries. They must have experience the Cataclysm, but do they know who caused it, or his fate? If not ambassadors, have knowledgeable pandaren returned to the island to teach things like Common and Orcish? To teach about the other inhabitants of Azeroth? [[ [[The final events of the Wandering Isle suggest that pandaren can communicate well enough with the Horde and Alliance and aren't too troubled by the sight of a tauren or human, but why is that?]] ]] How much communication is there between Shen-zin Su and the rest of Azeroth?

Then, upon finally reaching Pandaria (for the sake of story I would likely skip the out-of-timeline leveling between 12 and 85), how would the pandaren react to their ancestral home? For other adventurers, it would merely be a place of rumor, novel but not personal. For pandaren, this is the place they've heard about in legends. Their ancestors were raised here; many of their customs and beliefs come from this place, although time and separation might have changed them. Can you imagine how sayings and beliefs from Pandaria, things like the need to expel negative feelings to avoid creating real enemies, would warp into empty platitudes on the Sha-free island?

Currently, the pandaren of Pandaria react to island pandaren as if they were run of the mill adventurers: you look different, here is some ancient pandaren wisdom you don't know. I think this could be explained away if the pandaren of Pandaria think of island pandaren as immature and uncultured. And considering how long the two types of pandaren have been separated, it's likely that everything from accent to lexicon to fashion has diverged.

But the Pandaria natives are extremely laid-back by necessity - it's more likely that they would simply accept the island pandaren back into their homeland with little trouble. This is probably too nitpicky, but I'd love it if Pandaria NPCs could react to player pandaren differently than other races. Imagine if a draenei questgiver were like "Man you have no idea what it's like to live in a spaceship" and your draenei is like "Um excuse you I think I do." Mayhem!

#MMONBI Post Roundup and Generalities

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Mon, 21 May 2012 03:15:00 +0000

Previously: Writing and Community Building

If you aren't periodically checking on the excellent advice being given in the Newbie Blogger Initiative, you're missing out on great information! Even seasoned bloggers can learn something since there is information on a wide range of topics related to blogging. I've rounded up some of my favorite interesting or helpful ones here.

Inspiration: tips on getting started and sticking to it
Why You Should Blog (the pros outweigh the cons)
What should you write and how should you write it? (all around perfect post)
Just D... ("When you write...you gain perspective")
Top 4 Tips (short and sweet)
Hobnobbing (blogging is a social activity)
What's In a Name? (great brainstorming list)
(Drink) Read, Think, Write, Edit
What's in a Name? (personal information online)
Stats (you may look but don't obsess)
Writer's Block (take a break, change the subject)

Technical: bits and bobs to improve your site and its posts
Writing for the Web (people don't read, they scan)
8 Step Checklist: Finishing Your Blog Setup (wordpress-centric)
Protect your Blog! (all about Creative Commons Licenses)
Avoid Barriers to Commenting on Blogger (make it easy for commenters!)
Tags and Categories (get organized, get optimized)
The Google Reader Blogroll (fancy list bundling)
Blog Lists and RSS
Keeping Up (organize news sources)
Screenshots make your blog interesting (great examples!)
Wordpress Plugins
Pros and Cons of Self Hosting
Picture manipulation tools and copyright
Learn How to Podcast

Next is a shoutout for WoW Headlines, a website/iPhone app that seeks to provide a news list from WoW-related blogs. The $0.99 app can be filtered for class-specific news and also comes with a Blue Tracker and Realm Status feature. If you want to get your blog on the list or recommend others, email info@wowheadlines.com. The current list of blogs are at the bottom of each class page.

Last is a picture of the solar eclipse (vocab point: 金環日食) that I took this morning. I woke up a little later than usual, but they were showing a moon-tracker on the morning news and I managed to throw on sandals and grab my camera in time to catch the almost-peak. There were loads of people standing outside the apartment buildings, staring directly at the sun. I kept getting messages about needing special plastic in order to safely view it, but let's be real. I tried squinting, looking at it and away quickly, and peeking through my camera lens. Not the best of ideas, but my eyes seem to still be working. This picture looks quite dark, but it's only in order to capture the arc of the sun!

The Leatherworkers [Tier 6]

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

The sun had just passed its midday peak when the skins across the doorway opened, jingling the tiny bells sewed into the bottom and alerting the leatherworkers in the shop to a customer. Akabeko blinked in the sudden shadow, a bundled set of armor tucked under one arm. An orc seated near the doorway set down her tools and approached the druid. The only other leatherworker in the front room, a wide-set tauren, briefly glanced up from his work.

"What can I help you with?" the orc asked, reaching out for the bundle and taking it to a clear work table.

Akabeko followed her. "Just general upkeep," she explained. "I've been waxing and polishing it myself, but the shoulders especially are starting to show their age."

The orc turned one pauldron over in her hands. The enchantment that made the skull's empty eyesockets glow blue was starting to fade, and the feathers were beginning to look dry and wilted. The orc ran calloused fingers across the dome of the skull, stopping when they met and uncharacteristic notch in the bone just above the left eye. She peered at the dent curiously.

Akabeko noticed her scrutiny. "That's been there since I bought the piece. The armorer told me there's no easy way to mend it, and I've come to like it anyway. It gives it character," she finished with a grin.

The orc grinned back. Her fingers continued to gently worry the mark. "There is no good way to mend it, not without interfering with the unique enchantment on the pauldron. It just surprised me to see it, because I'm the one that put it there."

This caused the so-far silent tauren to look up. "Is it one of ours?" he asked his partner.

The orc held up the piece in question to point out the nick. "Do you remember the first time we hunted kaliri?"

"Ahh, yes," the tauren interrupted. "Our plan was to bait one and lasso it." He laughed. "That was such a terrible idea!"

"Come on, it wasn't that bad. How could you have known it would call so many others to help?"

Akabeko looked back and forth between the pair, listening with interest.

The tauren set down his tools. "I didn't know, but my job is to take the hits while you do the hard work, so I should have done my research to be as safe as possible!"

"I have to admit, when the kaliri screeched and those three others burst out of the trees, I went a little berserk. They all went straight for you, with your hands full of feathers and nothing but a shield!"

"Believe it or not, I was still trying to keep the bodies intact. I stunned the one we caught with my shield before I went after the others."

The orc shook her head. "I wasn't being careful. It's only luck that I took the first pair's heads off instead of anything else. That last one..."

The tauren laughed. "When you jumped over me I thought you might sprout wings and fly away yourself!"

"Yes, well," the orc shrugged sheepishly. "It was in your blind spot. So I smashed it in the face."

Akabeko blinked at her armor with newfound appreciation.

"As you can see," the orc continued conversationally, "we're in an off season and having a slow day. I can have this ready for you by sunset tomorrow."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Akabeko replied, heading to the door. She nodded at the tauren, who waved a pair of scissors at her, already back at work. "Afternoon!"

#NBIMMO Blog Setup and Community Building

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Tue, 15 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

Previously: Why and What to Post

While your first posts are percolating in your head, let's think about a name and hosting. Names are incredibly important to me - I agonize over them for days before I can finally create whatever I was trying to name. Hopefully you don't have this affliction. Names can be simple, descriptive, punny, or random. They don't have to be immediately obvious, but straightforward works too! Your content can help influence the title - guides would want a plain title, fiction would merit something more flowery. See if you can encompass the goal of your blog in the title - something like "The Best DPS Evar" sounds more likely to have DPS theorycrafting than fanfiction about Thrall.

Got your name? Let's go register. If you're new and unsure (or a cheapskate) you probably don't want to plunk down cash on webhosting. Fortunately, there are solid blogging platforms like WordPress and Blogger that offer free hosting. I've also read blogs hosted on tumblr, but can't say too much on these. My feedreader is about half WP and Blogger.

Okay, the blog is made and you're ready to customize! With the popularity of feed readers, I often suspect that the only time people see your actual site is their first visit, when they comment, and any time they want more information: a specific post, your profile, or your contact info. Make your blog representative of your personality, but also make it accessible. Choose a premade background or upload your own. Create or commission a header for your title - screenshot, drawn art, or fancy text works!

Remember that different screen resolutions will affect the appearance. For instance, my background doesn't quite reach the edges of my widescreen but is heavily cropped on my work computers. I have it set so it doesn't scroll with the page for a less busy appearance. The max width of the important bits is 900px, because I know some people who still use 640x800 screen resolutions, and width scrolling is a pain.

Blogger helpfully suggested page element colors based on my background's "palette," and I went with dark text on light background for max legibility. I've read that light text on a dark background can cause more eyestrain, but since I get most of my posts in google reader's black and white interface it doesn't much matter. Whatever your color scheme, be sure to test the visibility of your text!

Now it's time to add widgets. Being comprehensive without cluttering up the page is our design goal. You have the option of tabs and sidebars, so see how you like one, the other, or both. (Or even double side bars all the way across the page.) Here are some things to put near the top: your email/twitter contact info, a link to your RSS feed or email subscription, a search bar, an about page, and archives. Other things you might like to include are: a picture roll, armory/achievement widgets, an organized page of your major posts, a Creative Commons license, a tag list or wordcloud, and a blogroll. Blog Azeroth is an incredible resource for this stuff - I added a contact page because of the advice there, and you can find CC and achievement widget howtos as well.

Optional: Feedburner is a neat little service that creates a permanent feed for your blog, meaning you can change your URL and subscribers won't need to update a thing! It also opens a special page where readers can automatically add the feed to their preferred reader, which is convenient. There's also a stats page, although I usually use Blogger's Stats or Google Analytics if I feel like stroking my epeen. Just, for love of the Earthmother, don't truncate your feed. If you do, I may give up on reading your blog on principle, or stick your URL into fulltextrssfeed out of spite. Also a secret desire to keep reading. Follow your own feed to see how posts translate into your reader - everything from colors to formatting can look wonky when taken out of the context of your blog!

If you choose to use advertising on your blog, that's cool, but as a personal favor to me please put it above or below your posts. Ads in the middle of a post are very distracting!

Before seriously networking, I recommend that you publish at least three posts on your blog. A generic introduction is ok, or jump right in with your deepest of thoughts, but give potential readers something to see! There's no way to know what will appeal to different readers, but an example of your aim and style will give them an idea. I always seem to get more comments on throwaway word vomit than well-researched compendiums...hmm...

Now it's time to get out there and make friends! I must emphasize the fact that the WoW blogging community is full of sweethearts. We are a helpful and friendly bunch, and we love to cuddle and coo over newbie bloggers. (Metaphor too creepy? Let Auntie Aka pinch your widdle cheek!!)

Hop on over to Blog Azeroth, register, and post in the New Authors forum! Use the template...or else. Then, fire off an email to the TNB Wiki to get on their lists. Finally, message Beru to be featured on an upcoming Welcome Wagon! Okay, your name is out there. All that's left is to make some friends! (And keep posting. Never stop posting!)

If you already have some blogger buddies in the community, ask them to promote you on their blogs or blogrolls. I get the impression that it's generally frowned upon to message a stranger blogger and ask them to include you on their blogroll. However, interacting with them may earn you a place! Populating your own blogroll is a good way to start - free advertising for blogs you read is never bad, and if you refer traffic their way they may be more inclined to check out your blog and link back! I've chosen to import my Google Reader feed as my blogroll, and it was so massive I ended up cutting it to the top 10 most recent. Other bloggers show titles only in alphabetical order, sometimes grouped into topics like RP, guide, comics, etc. Pick whichever you like!

Comment on blogs. If there's an option to sign in or include your URL, do so. Linking your blog with no other comment is kind of spammy. If their post inspired you to write a response, by all means link that in your comment. Otherwise, include your link in the designated box (it will usually show up in your nickname or even show your most recent post) and leave a nice comment. Even something as simple as "Great post!" can make a blogger smile.

Write fan mail. If you write into a podcast, your comment and signature info will often be read on the air! Writing to bloggers will make them feel good and hopefully prompt them to read or comment on your blog. I've gotten requests for proofreading and advertising, and it is very flattering to be asked for help!

If you want a less formal way to interact with other bloggers, try out twitter. It's not mandatory - I know at least one well-known blogger who manages just fine without it, but the added element of short, snappy communication is quite useful. Ask questions, offer comments, and see a more personal side of your favorite writers. Promote their stuff by retweeting, and they may do the same! Consider an automated service like twitterfeed to advertise your new posts.

Your posts are out there and people are reading them. You may get comments! They may not always be to your liking. Gird your virtual loins and respond, moderate or close comments to stem the flow, or simply avoid posting about stuff that typically attracts controversy. (This blog caters to casuals and noobs raauugghh!) Some bloggers don't respond to comments at all, or may only respond to a few. Others respond to each and every one, no matter how many (or few, boohoo!). Respond however you like, and remember that since your blog is your space, it is entirely up to you how you deal with comments. Moderating or closing comments is not a bad thing. Maintain your space in whatever way makes you most comfortable.

Keep writing! Keep posting! Legions of adoring fans are just waiting to read it!

#NBIMMO Why and What to Post

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sat, 12 May 2012 02:38:00 +0000

Blogging tips and help for new and prospective bloggers! What a great idea! I hesitated to add my own 2 cents, but the nature of blogging is to talk at length whether anyone is listening or not, so...

The point of the Newbie Blogger Initiative, hosted by Syp of Bio Break, is to encourage those thinking about or just starting a blog to do so with style! I think something like this would have helped me to get started, what, a year and a half ago? Dang, it's been a long time. Since I write about WoW, some of this advice will be specific to the game, but hopefully it can be generally useful to anyone interested in blogging!

When I first considered blogging, my thought process was something along the lines of "Man, I have a lot of thoughts about WoW but no one in my immediate circle cares about them! Who will listen to all my feels?" The answer is: the internet will listen! Tell us what you think! What do you care about? Before you pick your site name and register it, you may still struggle with what will become the content of your blog. Fiction? Random thoughts? Artwork like screenshots or drawings? Guides to DPS, transmog, or quests? Anything is okay, even a mix. Especially a mix! Guides take a lot of time and energy to produce, but they don't generate much conversation (unless you make a mistake). I follow guide-style blogs for news and info about my class, but in the end I mostly skim them until I need the information. More personal blogs are what keep me refreshing my reader at work.

Perhaps the most important thing is to write what you want, because you want to, and not because you want internet fame and oodles of money. Sharp writing and savvy networking may bring at least the first, if not the second, but that's not a good reason to start a blog. Write because you have thoughts, stories, opinions, or other creations that you want to publish and point to and say "I made that." Your readership may be small and slow in coming, but if love of creating is what's driving you, you won't care. And one day, young lowbie, you too may be featured on WoW Insider. Or not. But don't get discouraged!!

let's talk about holidays

Content is anything you want it to be. I've read poetry, fiction, and prose, looked at artwork, and listened to original music. If it moves you, write about it! A lot of the motivation to post comes from thoughts that start small but grow into information to be shared. Obscure lore observations, beautiful screenshots, and funny personal experiences all make for good posts. Readers want to learn something new, or find common ground with the writer, or appreciate a good piece of art. What do you want to share?

Find your voice - be it fun and relaxed or polished and formal. How do you feel about emoticons and lolsp34k? Post screenshots, with or without comment. Showcase your personality and style. I was going to say be yourself, but more importantly you should be the you that you want to present to the world. For some that means writing in character, for others a professional detachment, and for others a conversational lightheartedness. Include personal information if you'd like - your readers care about the person behind the URL. Watch your language - or don't. Your choice of slang or expletive contributes to the overall atmosphere of your blog and affects its appeal for different people. Realize that offensive language can, well, offend some readers, and colloquialisms can alienate non-native speakers. (Not that it's stopped me!)

NBI content unedited

Polish your writing. Organize your thoughts with an outline. Add addenda and notes in the margins and arrange everything coherently when you construct the post. Even if you want to publish without editing your ideas, use spell check. Write your post, sit on it for at least a few hours, and reread it for consistency and flow. Consult a dictionary or thesaurus if you need to keep using the same word or can't think of the right one. Get a beta reader to help you look for misspellings, awkward phrasing, or confusing narratives. For fiction, be consistent with verb tense and perspective, and relieve long dialogues with descriptions of each character so the reader doesn't get lost.

Develop a quirk. What makes people remember you? Some bloggers are known for fun quirks like quotations, title themes, or colorful setups. Others are famous for their unique writing style or incredible insight. Still others like myself are just ~~uncontrollably awesome~~ undeniably strange. You can intentionally cultivate something like this or just see where your blogging adventures take you!

yes that's a crying alot

Keep a memo of post ideas that occur to you as you read news or other blogs, play the game, or zone out at work. Take ideas from memes or the Blog Azeroth Shared Topic. Write about current events or deeds from long ago. Write on scraps of paper until you can organize your thoughts at the keyboard. Post tweetable snippets or bearwalls or somewhere in the middle. To me, around 500 words is the perfect amount of post, but that doesn't stop me from reading - or writing - more!

Include screenshots or graphics if you have them and if they're relevant. Crop them to the important bits, and if you have the intestinal fortitude, spruce them up with a (free) image editing software. Graphics can help break up an imposingly long post. You can also keep your paragraphs short and break up sections with headers, or use bold and italics to highlight important points.

If you're inspired by a quest, a news piece, or another post, link to it! The different color of a link creates a unique emphasis, so choose your linked words well! Cite your sources. Those cited may get pingbacks and thus see your commentary, and readers can go to the original content that sparked your brainwave.

scheduling topics

Post regularly to keep your name in people's minds. Pace your posting - even if you churn out multiple posts in one frenzied sitting, polish them and schedule them over a period of days or weeks. Publish hot topic items as close as possible to the issue's debate, holiday information when the holiday is being celebrated, and fill the rest with your less time-sensitive musings. If you are creating a series, post them consecutively and provide links to the rest of your series. Try to keep gaps in an ongoing story short.

Publish or die! Do whatever works to keep you posting - set deadlines or weekly minimums, make a friend pester you to post something, set alarms on your phone or computer to blare horns when it's Friday and you haven't written a thing. Set aside time to write. Give yourself homework. Take the time to arrange those screenshots just so in your post or finally jot down that story that's been wriggling around in your head. Make writing a part of your routine so that it doesn't seem like a chore. A lot of blogs go dark after just a few weeks, so find your motivation and stick to it! We are looking forward to hearing from you :)

Next time: Blog Setup and Community Building

Spoiler FREE Mists beta as told by gifs

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

This post is high in pictures but low in spoilers! Click through the cut to see my animated reactions to the Mists of Pandaria beta so far :)

Did someone say beta?

Gaahhh installation hangups

All right, I'm in. Let's play!

MONK TRAINING MONTAGE

The muuuuuusic!

Yes, fellow testers, some quests are bugged

The details, the little details!

Poop joke.

Unnfff this scenery. This architecture!

Let's check out a premade monk

Yeah I know your mounts are gone and quests are bugged. IT'S BETA

Goodness, some of these new races are cool.

Hey, I'm pretty good at playing a monk!

Complete quest, DC, loot, DC, click, DC

Did you see who that was?!

Oh another poop joke I sure am glad.

This character is beyond amazing and I love her.

Bawww no pet battles...

...yet.

Getting my exploration on

OH MORE POOP JOKES OKAY

Go on, gen chat. Tell us why Vanilla was the best.

I cannot wait to play and write about this expansion

EVERYTHING IS AMAZING.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

Goblin journal: Together Again

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sun, 06 May 2012 01:32:00 +0000

Imagine my surprise when I realized that a year had gone by and it was Children's Week once again. I felt kind of bad, realizing that I hadn't visited Logal at all, but that's the point of the holiday, right? Prior to that, I had been mucking around the Swamp of Sorrows; there's a goblin getaway and a few Horde outposts, so there was plenty to do. Most of it involved explosions, so I was right in my element.

If it hadn't been for Myda contacting me, I may never have gotten the postcard from the orphanage asking me to drop by again. Fortunately, she's been holding down the finances like a trade prince and was at home to get the message. I ported back to Orgrimmar right away.

Logal, in the nature of all children, grew up. Literally - he's enormous! I mean, he was already taller than me when we first met, but now he's quite the picture of young orchood. Of course, he wasn't too old to give Auntie Sprinkie a (bone-crushing) hug. Ahh, to be young and awkward again!

We took a walk through the Drag to catch up on the past year. He looked healthy enough, but I was glad to hear that not only is he still getting regular meals and general education at the orphanage, but he's also been visiting local businesses to learn about the various trades available to him. It seems that throughout the year his heart's desire has been everything from rocket engineer to leatherworker to warrior. I told him about my adventuring, not that there's anything particularly interesting to tell, but he seemed to enjoy it all the same. In a year or two he'll be able to leave the orphanage and apprentice somewhere; he said even now he sometimes gets odd jobs for a little spending money. If he had any interest in banking I'd make him a Sparklefizz, but I suspect he needs something a bit more physical than that.

We were deciding on something for lunch when I received an urgent summon from Stonard. One of the commanders I had worked under was requesting my attention in the Blasted Lands on everything from marauding ogres to a mine dispute to a misplaced forest.

I had to go, Journal. If I want to maintain any credibility with the Horde I need to obey my superiors, even if it means letting a kid down. So I told Logal to go back to the orphanage, and I would be by later in the week to take him around. Then I opened a portal to Stonard. Right as I'm about to close the portal, suddenly Logal comes barreling through, just barely missing being snipped right in half by arcane energy!

To say I was angry would be an understatement. I had a job to do, and such jobs are rarely safe even for those trained to handle them. I didn't want to put Logal in danger; if he wanted to look for danger he could wait until he was the right age and do it after lots of proper training. I explained this all to him, trying not to blow a gasket, and when I was done with my tirade he simply looked at me and said please, I want to do this. You're supposed to go on your first hunt with your parents.

What was I supposed to do? Myda can never know about this. Riches, the orphanage matron can never know about this! I could have ignored him, opened a portal and shoved him back into Orgrimmar and gone about my business.

I let him come with me. Don't give me that look! How can you say no to a request like that?

The commander had a list of tasks for me to take care of, so I went with the least-dangerous sounding one first. A mine dispute - surely that's just some smooth negotiating, right? In this case, it appeared that negotiations and failed and the backup plan was to kill everyone and salt the earth. Or the ore, in this case. We followed the cart rails deep into the mines and found a troll overlooking a camp of terrified Alliance miners. They had discovered something deep in the mines that scared them so much they suspended operations. I was worried about Logal seeing whatever it was, but it's not like there was anyplace to leave him wait.

We snuck past the Alliance with a makeshift disguise made out of a supply crate. Perhaps not my best invention, but they were so rattled they didn't notice it changing positions. Logal didn't quite grasp the danger of sneaking through a swarm of hostiles, but at least he was quiet and obeyed my instructions.

The terror turned out to be a disgusting tentacle demon. Logal couldn't stop staring. I ordered him to hide under the box until I had taken care of it, but when it got a good swipe on me, he threw off the box and started shouting at it. Of course, this attracted its attention, and I managed to kill it just in time. Yes, I know. It was irresponsible and reckless of me to bring him. He was more subdued on the trip back to the entrance of the mines, but once we were on the surface his good humor came back. Maybe I'm just trying to justify it to myself, but I think if he wants to learn about the realities of combat he might as well do it alongside someone with experience who cares about him.

Still, I didn't report to any of the quests that would likely have me killing humanoids. It's a bit harder to stomach killing someone who looks like you than it is to kill an animal or a demon. If the current atmosphere is any indication, Logal will have plenty of opportunity to kill humanoids in the coming years. I don't need to hasten that experience.

So next we went to the Dark Portal. I only vaguely remembered things from my history lessons, but Logal was completely bowled over. After all, it is how his people got into Azeroth in the first place. His parents came through that portal. I let him gape while I picked up orders from the warlord and then it was off to kill some more demons. I wouldn't let Logal help actually attack them, but I told him to keep a good lookout for other enemies so he would have something to do. It was a lucky thing, too, because there were demons everywhere around the portal!

Logal wanted to go through the portal, but I had to put my foot down at that. The other side is still supposedly a constant warzone, and frankly even I'm not prepared for that. Besides, he was looking a little shook up after all those fights. Ugh. The more I think about it the more I regret it. But what's done is done. He would have started seeing that kind of violence sooner or later.

Finally I brought us back to Orgrimmar, and to make up for working during his special week, I called in a few favors and got a guest pass to Gallywix's rooftop pleasure palace from Boss Mida. I let Logal swim around in Gallywix's pool and drank overpriced cocktails all weekend.

Who will I start a knitting circle with??

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Thu, 03 May 2012 01:24:00 +0000

I'm going to confidently say that this post is spoiler free. There is no information about the new quests or storylines and no pictures, and if you don't already know the names Aysa or The Wandering Isle by now you probably don't even play WoW.

I got my pandaren out of the starting zone and into the Alliance! It was pretty enjoyable, definitely beautiful, and well-orchestrated. (Yeah, I put my background music on loop.)

But you know what's creepy? The Wandering Isle is a sausagefest. In my RP experience, meaning that I am the only player character who exists on the island populated with NPCs, there are only 4 women out of 55 humanoid characters. There's me, obviously, and Aysa. There's also Lien-Hua, a female blacksmith hanging out near the temple, and one female human called Delora Lionheart. (Great last name because it reminds me of this fantastic song!)

I realize that this is likely a result of the female pandaren model being designed well after the male one, and the island being populated before it was complete. I imagine that's why Lien-Hua is only female in title and still uses the male model as a placeholder. But that means that when someone went back to add some lady pandas to the starting zone, from over 50 potential NPCs they chose...two. I know it's not a malicious choice. There's no evil Blizz overlord twirling his mustache and cackling. It's not actively cruel. It's just telling me that I'm an afterthought, a reminder. Fifty-one out of fifty-four times, a female character doesn't even register.

Back in the day, this did annoy me. Not enough to cancel my sub, but enough to grate. Now it just makes me tired. Same old, same old. In Cata we met the sweet Tolvir cat dudes, who lacked for dudettes but not offspring (I like to think they reproduce by budding those magnificent pecs.) Therazane was a fantastic introduction in Deepholm, but still managed to have all-male servants. The sons of the Stone Father were, well, sons. Unfortunate because their model is spectacular, confusing because where do lady dwarves come from...? Those awesome gnomes in Ulduar have the same problem - great model, complete lack of female equivalent. The Taunka are a sore spot for me, in that they "have" a female counterpart recycling the old tauren model. It's going to happen again with the Yaunka, that have 6 distinct fur colors and no female model. I was hoping for some long-faced relatives for Aka! Gnolls, troggs, kobolds, ogres. (Too gross to be female? Spend two hours with me on chili night and we'll talk.)

The point of this laundry list isn't to accuse developers of hating women or whatever. My point is just that despite comprising half the plant, when it comes to inclusion, women are an afterthought. A character that's sexy, that's a caster, that's a mother recalls the need for a female model. Everything else...why design a female model when you can just make it male? When I was a kid I used to draw a lot, and one of my favorite shows was Sailor Moon so I had a lot of examples of the female form. After a few years I realized that I was total crap at drawing men, so I made a conscious effort to draw more male figures until I had a better idea. If a 15 year old can independently recognize the need for balance, I like to think that pointing out the overwhelmingly sausage-y undercarriage of Azeroth should be enough reason to freshen it up with some diversity. Unless, I suppose, they are really pandering to the overwhelmingly slashy legion of shippers?

Children's Week: I have a rock in my nose.

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:41:00 +0000

Children's Week, also known as Week of the Wardens, charges accomplished players with a week of giving back to "the innocents of war - the orphans." This holiday occurs around the Korean and Japanese Children's Day holidays, but makes the goal about orphaned children rather than all children. Are you ready to meet the pre-teen face of Azeroth?

Almost every nation has some kind of Children's Day. South Korea's occurs on May 5th, and is a day for parents to spend time with their children, take in some kid-friendly entertainment, and pamper their progeny with gifts and good food. The holiday originated as Boy's Day, celebrated during the Japanese period of colonization. Japan celebrates "Girl's Day", or the Doll Festival, on March 3rd, but eventually changed May 5th to Children's Day with a special emphasis on boys' growth and development. Although celebrations initially mimicked the Japanese counterpart, South Korea does not display armor or carp streamers on this day. If you recall my earlier holiday posts, you will remember Dano Day, another 5th month 5th day holiday from the Chinese calendar. This holiday may explain why Children's Day was eventually moved to May 5th.

Children's Day in South Korea was originally observed on May 1st beginning in 1922. Dr. Bang Jeong-hwan, a writer and children's rights activist, coined the modern, more respectful term for children eorini and founded the children's rights organization Saekdong. He authored the Children's Charter to proclaim the rights of children to safety and happiness, and proposed the yearly celebration of Children's Day on May 1st. In 1946, after a 7 year cessation of the holiday due to occupying Japanese forces, the holiday was changed to May 5th. In 1975 it finally acquired public holiday status.

Azeroth's counterpart has a much more sober history. Orphan Matrons in Stormwind, Orgrimmar, Shattrath, and Dalaran allow each orphan to spend a week with a player volunteer. During that week the volunteer, assumed to be well-funded and well-traveled, is expected to provide anything the orphan asks for. That means that players will be traversing the entirety of Azeroth and Outlands, and buying a host of snacks and toys for their diminutive companions. The quests, recently updated, provide a unique filter for people and places that are old hat to long time players. I've always enjoyed watching my orphan interact with Lady Sylvanas, marvel at the Dark Portal, and prance around Grizzlemaw. Their childlike reactions to new places and people are sweet and often humorous. However, considering their other requests to visit estranged friends and siblings, I am reminded of the harsh reality in which the orphans live. Furthermore, the fact that my character participates in aggressive campaigns means there's a very real chance that I have created some of these orphans. It's never been implied in the quests, but I have to wonder how the matrons feel about adventurers like me. Maybe they consider the week I volunteer an appropriate penance for my violence.

After finishing the quest chains, players have the choice of adorable companion pets or a Curmudgeon's Payoff. Keep in mind that when Mists goes live, accounts will share pets, so if you can complete this holiday on multiple characters, you can get all the pets more quickly! Not to mention you might be able to knock out Veteran Nanny in one go for a hefty 50 achievement points. There are surprisingly few achievements for this holiday; only 8 for a total of 120 points. However, one of them is the universally-hated PVP extravaganza School of Hard Knocks. In keeping with the theme of "show your orphan around," players must venture into battlegrounds and perform tasks like capturing and returning flags and assaulting nodes with their orphan at their side. Diehard PVPers frustrated with the sudden influx of non-PVP oriented players in their BGs may take out their irritation on players with orphan companions - traumatizing for all involved. My only advice is to stay calm and go early in the morning. If you complete all the required achievements you will earn the dubiously appropriate title Matron or Patron (I mean, you did abandon your orphan in the wilderness when you used your hearthstone...).

The Shattrath and Dalaran orphans mention their names in the quests, but this year was the first time I realized that the human and orc orphans also have names. Now I feel like a butthole, since I randomly created one for my orphan when I wrote about it last year. Sorry, buster. Here are some of my favorite flavor quotes from the little tykes:

Grunth (orc): If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Randis (human): If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Did you just come out of a dungeon? Did you get me anything?
Salandria (blood elf): I bet ice cream would taste better if it were socketed!
Dornaa (draenei): Is the Twisting Nether shaped like a pretzel? And just what is a Nether? The orphan matron said I shouldn't ask people about their nethers.
Roo (gorloc): We can has aged yolk?
Kekek (wolvar): Orcs always point and laugh at Kekek, but he get revenge one day.

Zombie Hop

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:49:00 +0000

What's up with that title? I don't know, go listen to the song (by Zombina & The Skeletones). This week has been weird...after stressing over an application it's now over and done and I feel kinda slow and droopy. As such, I didn't have time to put the lovely finishing touches on my next post and instead you get screenshots: the miscellaneous edition. If you wanna really make this a party, check out some of these fantastically bizarre words (I think I found a new blog title - adoxography: skilled writing on an unimportant subject).

Giant gnome

Grizzly tree

Gundrak

I want YOU!

Malorne goes apeshit

Titan buildings

Trapped in amber

Do not jump

And then we all died

Standing in midair

I SEE YOU

/dance

Wait up, bandwagon! I'm coming!!

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:54:00 +0000

So, I'm not a great beta tester. This might piss some people off, that I'm not going around trying to get myself stuck in invisible holes or bug out a quest NPC, but really I just wanted to get to know my future pandaren lady. What's her story? What does she like? Who are her friends? Being able to inspect her appearance and play her opening story helps me to plan her eventual plot. Plus, I think we've talked about this, I love starting zones! There's something comforting about those introductory quests, the solitude of the area, and the nostalgic appreciation of all those character "firsts."

I wasn't able to successfully download the beta until the problematic Ji Firepaw quest text had already been changed. Really, there's no difference. I mean, he still reminds me of Homer Simpson, if Homer Simpson were capable of formulating a plan of action. The good thing about it taking me so long to finally get playing is that there have already been a host of good responses. Check them out: the original piece at Apple Cider Mage, her response to the change, Peregrina's well-written two cents, and Morrighan's impassioned post.

I'm glad they took out that difference in quest text. Unsolicited commentary on my appearance has always been a prickly subject. Having grown up constantly bombarded by the message that I'm too short, too fat, too greasy, too mannish, too everything, any commentary on that will be fraught with past traumas. It's not that I don't want compliments. I just don't want ones that indicate you're too uncreative to think of anything other than the tired and blatantly obvious. Before you get all contrary and start yammering about how "you don't even want me to COMPLIMENT YOU? You must be the saddest killjoy in all of No Funnington," let me remind you that there are a TON of other ways to compliment someone without potentially weirding them out with a comment on their looks!

If Ji were hosting a pandaren beauty contest and told me I was a hot piece of pandameat, I would be like "Yes!! Just wait until the swimsuit portion, LADIES." But I'm not going to him to be evaluated on my prize-winning ducklips face; I'm reporting for duty to help my people. I want his reaction to reflect my obvious ability to help. "Damn, girl, you look like you could hoist me over your head!" Hell yeah I can! I'm ripped! (wrapped in a protective layer of padding!)

Imagine recommending this blog to someone. "Follow red cow rise; Aka's a total babe." Be that as it may, it doesn't really relate to the content. "Follow red cow rise; Aka's a great writer and funny as hell." Accurate, and more importantly, relevant!

Here, I've gone and done some more potential situations for you:

GYM: "Cute face!" ==> "Wow, you're really strong/flexible/fast!"
KARAOKE: "You're sexy!" ==> "Your voice is incredible!" "You pick the best songs!"
COOKING: "Nice butt!" ==> "This soup is amazing!"
FASHION: "Those are some Great New York Boobs!" ==> "That outfit is fierce as hell!"

Let's All Learn Chinese

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 01:00:00 +0000

Mists of Pandaria draws heavily on Chinese culture and language to create Pandaria and the races that populate it. Because of that, we are being inundated with fun and excited new words inspired by or taken directly from Mandarin and written in pinyin for English speakers. If my experience growing up in the US is any indication, most people probably don't know how to properly pronounce pinyin. The important thing to remember is that although it uses English letters to represent Mandarin written without characters, it doesn't use the same pronunciation rules as English! I don't pretend to be very good at Chinese - I took two semesters in college and had to quit in the 3rd when I started bombing Japanese tests, but hopefully this small guide to basic pronunciation will help players as they meet their new Pandaren pengyou!

I'm going to shamelessly take pronunciation guides from this very comprehensive page that includes not only the actual IPA symbols for the romanized letters, but also the nonstandard approximation "phonics" that makes phonics turn into "fonix."There are also pronunciation equivalents using English vocabulary on the Wikipedia page. The two guides don't always agree on the IPA for each vowel, so I've made do as best I can. Please feel free to submit any comments or suggestions for better pronunciation!

The good news is that the following initial consonants are pronounced about the same as they are in English (brackets indicate the IPA symbol):

b, d, f, g, k, l, m, n, p, s, t, w, y, ch, sh

[ b, d, f, g, k, l, m, n, p, s, t, w, j, tʃ, ʃ ]

Then there are the other initial consonants.

c [tsʰ]: cats
j [tɕ]: itchy ("the blade of the tongue replaces the tip against the mouth roof and the tongue tip is placed against the back of the lower teeth")
q [tɕʰ]: cheer ("the blade of the tongue replaces the tip against the mouth roof and the tongue tip is placed against the back of the lower teeth")
r [ʐ]: (Like "j" and "r" together, as in "pleasure". A retroflex sound; the tongue is similar to the normal "r" but is curled further back in the mouth)
x [ɕ]: she ("the blade of the tongue replaces the tip against the mouth roof and the tongue tip is placed against the back of the lower teeth")
z [ds]: lids (wiki lists this as cats)
zh [tʂ]: merger

And now the extensive list of vowels, dipthongs, and ending consonants.

a [a]: father
ai [ai]: my
an [an]: fond
ang [aŋ]: car + song
au [au]: how
e [ə]: about
ei [ei]: pay
en [ɛn]: taken
eng [əŋ]: hung
er [ɑɹ]: are
i [i]: bee (when after b, d, j, l, m, n, p, q, t, x)
[ɨ]: (like a swallowed buzzing when after z, c and s)
[ɝ]: (like an "r" after ch, sh, zh and r)
ia [ja]: yah
ian [jɛn]: yen
iang [jaŋ]: y + can + song
iao [jau]: yow
ie [jɛ]: yes
in [in]: seen
ing [iŋ]: seen + song
iong [joŋ]: yawn + song
iu [io]: yo-yo
o [uɔ]: wet + bore
ong [oŋ]: own + song
u [u]: too (after most letters)
  [y]: similar to cute (after j, q, x and y)
[ü]: similar to French eu (after n and l)
ua [wa]: wash
uai [wai]: why
uan [wan]: wand (after most letters)
  [wɛn]: went (after j, q, x, y)
uang [waŋ]: wand + song
ue [yɛ]: "oo-weh" (written üe after n and l)
ui [wei]: way
un [ʊen]: book + went (after most letters)
  [yn]: win (after j, q and x)
uo [uɔ]: wet + bore

Phew! That was exhausting. Ready to practice out loud? You can hear the swallowed "i" sounds when she pronounces z, c, s, ch, sh, zh, and r. Listen and repeat:

If you want to apply this to actual things in Mists, you should first read WoW Insider's very good article on the new elementals and the origin of their names. Much of the information was submitted by a Chinese-speaking fan, so there is a lot of interesting native-speaker insight into the word choice.

Next, I'd like to direct your attention to the name of the new race. Pandaren is a combination of panda (actually xiong mao 熊貓) and ren (人), ren being the word for person/people. Making pandaren...panda people! So next time you say that they aren't panda people...well, I'm not saying, I'm just saying...

Now, let's apply what we've learned to some character and place names from the Pandaren starting zone. (Mild spoilers for closeup pictures of NPC/place names and titles.)

Chia-hui (chya hway), Lin (leen), Zhen (juhn)

Dewei (duh-way)

Shaopai

Gao; Dai Lo (die low)

Jaomin Ro

Liang

Shang Xi (shang shee)

Shen (shun)

Ren (run)

Deng (dung); Cai (tsai)

The Leatherworkers [Noblegarden]

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 01:00:00 +0000

This year for the Great Blog Noblegarden Egg Hunt, I created a silly 4 panel comic featuring the leatherworkers! It was originally hidden in the "3" of my Tier 3 link, but now gets its own special page. Enjoy!

Darkmoon Details

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 01:30:00 +0000

For your viewing pleasure, I present details of the Darkmoon Faire

Ahead of you, down the path

Ignore the darkened, eerie woods

Ignore the eyes that blink and stare!

Fun & Games & Wondrous Sights!

Music & Fireworks to light up the night!

Liquor from the Horde? BIAS! BIAS!!

Why would a simple penguin need such a thick cage?

Goblin chickens!

D'aww Jumbina

Oh, um, awkward...

Darkmoon Faire

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 01:00:00 +0000

The Darkmoon Faire! I love those guys. And by the Earthmother, they sure love me too. I did bring them a whole cartload of cards and card accessories, after all. And now they have a proper carnival - their very own private island to decorate and populate as they like.

The atmosphere borrows heavily from the Tol Barad/Gilneas aesthetic, with and ominous purple filter overlay. The lighting and colors suggest a damp chill clinging to the place, and even at midday it's as dark as twilight. The haunting gloom is well-contrasted with the Faire's cheery strings of fairy lights, torches, and even fire breathers lighting the paths. If you leave the Faire to explore the island, you'll find shipwrecks, decomposing skeletons, woebegone ghosts, and a cook with a penchant for the Most Dangerous Game. Within the Faire, it's all business from the carnies. The brightly lit atmosphere puts an exciting, almost frantic veneer on the sinister undertones of the island, and makes me think that we'll meet a deranged wife in the attic or find out we could see dead people all along.

The monthly profession dailies are extremely satisfying on many levels (although you do need a minimum of 75 skill to see them, which discourages loading up all of your alts with cooking, fishing, and first aid). Only a few require extra materials from the player, and you can easily take the portal back to your home city if you forget to bring them. Then, collect a few items, skin or DE or craft them together, and bam! you get a couple tickets. At 85, the 250 Grisly Trophies can easily be farmed in any number of places if you won't collect them all during your regular activities.

What really bothers me is the daily quests. You have to pay for tokens, and receive only one ticket and no gold in return. Well, all right, that's pretty standard fare for carnivals. In keeping with the "screw the customer" style, most of the games cannot complete their associated dailies in one go. What's even worse is that you can almost finish your quest in the first round, meaning you only really need a few seconds at the beginning of the next. I typically turn in my quest after completing it, which always stops the game time. The NPCs tell me, "Don't stop now! You still have time to play!" Overwhelmingly, my response is no. Why is that? It's not like I'm unfamiliar with painful grinds or dailies that don't have time limits. And even fun dailies like pygmy smacking in Uldum aren't fun enough to keep me whacking after the quest objective is completed. It's just that, with the exception of Whack-a-Gnoll (I play a healer, go fig), my only reason for playing the Faire games is to complete a quest. Having to "queue" for two rounds of a game when I only need one and a half just irks me.

During February's Faire, the Hogger mobs spawned fast and thick, and I was able to complete my daily in one game round. It was incredibly satisfying! In March, they must have slowed the spawn rate because I typically get about 25/30 credits in the first round. In April, there were times I stopped and waited for several seconds for a gnoll, any gnoll to spawn. (BABIES EVERYWHERE) Having to replay just to get the last 5 is an excruciating annoyance. Doing it every day... In this case, I'd like for them to cut back on the spirit of carnivals in favor of being able to finish a quest all in one go. I don't mind the money for the tokens, but I do mind having to redo a game that isn't all that engaging to begin with.

Nowadays, we can join an anonymous collection of strangers and defeat Deathwing with little more than a fart, max out our professions using only vendor goods and quests, and buy mounts lovely enough they could be rare drops with cash money. I think the Darkmoon dailies should be tweaked until you can finish a quest in a single round of play!

Noblegarden: The Joy of Life and Friendship

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 01:30:00 +0000

Noblegarden, now not just for nobles! I hope you guys are ready for a cheery, pastel explosion and subsequent egg-camping nerdrage in your racial starting zones! Blizzard's blurb about Noblegarden cites its origins as "druidic festivals from times long past" and mentions that, like the Feast of Winter Veil, while some would like to keep it traditional, others are more interested in chocolate eggs and little presents. Commercialism co-opting ancient druidic traditions? Sounds like something the goblins might want to look into...

Obviously, Noblegarden is getting all up on Christianity's Easter. However, since Easter itself has many non-Christian influences, and WoW generally avoids mentioning real-world religion, much of the Noblegarden inspiration comes from pagan roots. Originally a human holiday, Noblegarden is a festival dedicated to welcoming spring. Other Alliance races adopted it, and for gameplay convenience the Horde began to celebrate it as well.

If you're wondering why the date of Easter varies so much from year to year, it's because the date is calculated as the first Sunday following the full moon after March 21. Now that sounds like something druids would be into! The name is derived from Eostre (aka Oestre, Eastre, and Ostara), the goddess of spring and fertility. Her main symbols were eggs and hares, due to the fact that hares are capable of producing many, many offspring during their 9 month breeding season. In one story, Ostara arrives late one year, and saves a bird whose wings have been frozen by turning him into a rabbit. As an homage to his original form, she gives him the ability to lay eggs. Somehow he falls out of favor and is cast into the sky as the constellation Lepus, and is allowed to return to lay eggs for one day of each year. Eggs, of course, represent new life and are thought to have magical powers.

Kissy kissy!

The concept of an egg-laying bunny came into modern popularity in the US in the 18th century. Supposedly, the Osterhase would bring eggs to good little girls and boys who made nests in their bonnets or caps. Eggs have been decorated in countries around the world for centuries, beginning in 1307. Colors range from blood-red to gold and silver to fern decorations to generally bright spring colors. The first Faberge egg was an Easter gift! Once the process for making chocolate flow smoothly into molds was developed in the 1800s, chocolate eggs began to be mass produced during the Easter season. Originally they were made of dark, bitter chocolate, but today most chocolate eggs are made of milk chocolate. And of course, there's always the heart-stoppingly gooey Cadbury Egg.

The last time I dyed eggs was in uni

Players will be getting their chocolate on by collecting and eating Brightly Colored Eggs, hidden for hunting in each racial starting zone and also just outside Shattrath in Terokkar Forest. This practice of hiding coins, candy, and goodies inside eggs initially started with human nobles as a gift for commoners. I wonder how that's working for them out in Westfall? Since the origins of the holiday lie with druids, I can't help but wonder if the Gilnean Harvest Witches had any hand in bringing druidic traditions into human practice. (Of course, my Gilnean history is pretty spotty.) Or, since it doesn't make a ton of sense for humans to suddenly pick up druidic traditions, maybe they had their own spring celebration and were later informed by the Cenarion Circle that it coincided with their holiday.

Lookin' dapper, Aka!

At any rate, Spring Gatherers are very interested in what's up with the hidden eggs, as the druids had a hand in creating them. Fortunately, the questgivers are only interested in the shell fragments, leaving players free to spend or eat their chocolates as necessary for the various achievements associated with the holiday. The suggested game plan is to eat your 100 chocolates first, in the hopes that you will discover most of the other items you need to complete achievements. The White Tuxedo Shirt, Black Tuxedo Pants, and Elegant Dress can be worn all together, allowing you to fulfill either role of Blushing Bride. These are also non-soulbound and can be traded! If you keep your Spring Rabbit out while egg-hunting, it can find other bunnies to get busy with for Spring Fling! Fun fact: wearing new clothes for Easter has long been associated with spiritual renewal. You'll have to put on your Spring Robes before you can bring flowers to the deserts of the world!

Keep your Egg Basket clenched tightly in one hand for a speed boost when rushing to loot an egg, and hold your bouquet of Spring Flowers in the other to put bunny ears on female toons of level 18 or higher. (Weirdly, I react to this sort of creepery differently than in meatspace. In game I don't particularly mind being hunted down and bunny-eared, and I'll even click off the buff so others can do it. In meatspace it's more like, "Stop following me; I'm trying to buy vegetables/ride the train/pick my toe lint." Anything for achievements, I guess.) If you want year-round bunny ears be sure to pick up a Spring Circlet, and this year they have added a black and pink version as well! Don't vendor your Blossoming Branch without turning at least one LFR group into a warren of bunnies!

Mages might want to add Tome of Polymorph: Rabbit to their repetoire, and I imagine that everyone and their mother will be hoarding eggs this year in order to buy the fabulous Swift Springstrider for a whopping 500 chocolates! Just me? If you're interested in mass egg-collecting, I recommend picking a good camping spot with 3-4 egg spawn spots in easy reach in a busy area. There's a lot of nerd rage about spots being too crowded, but I've been on late at night when no one else is around and...when it's just you looting eggs, they spawn like a Sea Turtle! You want other people to be running willy nilly around town so that your chosen spawn points come up more often. Plus, if you have your spot all staked out, others will likely avoid it.

This holiday has 12 achievements for a total of 120 achievement points and awards the title "The Noble." It is part of the meta-achievement What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been. Although the camping and travel can be time-consuming, this holiday's meta achievement can be completed by lowbie toons as there are no level requirements. You can find out more from Wow Insider's guide or Wowhead's guide.

Goblins at the Faire

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 00:30:00 +0000

After that stint in the Badlands, I thought I'd take a break from the wide world of contract work and spend some time in Orgrimmar to manage my monetary affairs more personally. My apprentice Myda is learning the tricks of the trade quickly, and knows her way around an auction house portfolio nearly as well as I do! She'll be a great addition to the Sparklefizz family, especially compared to my good-for-nothing brother.

Not three days after airing out my apartments did news of the Darkmoon Faire spread through the Slums like wildfire. Barkers were outside at all hours advertising, and banners on every corner directed me to the city's central plateau, where a Faire mage was giving ports to Thunderbluff.

I decided to give Myda the time off, so when the Faire finally opened, I ported us both to Thunderbluff and we walked to the actual portal to the island. What little history I gathered about the Faire is that it's led by a gnome called Silas Darkmoon, and after years of traveling and scraping together gold, he was able to relocated permanently to a private island. The only problem is that it requires a special portal to get to! I wonder how he found it in the first place...

When we arrived, I must admit I was surprised by the...atmosphere. Myda's pet began to yowl and pace, and she had to spend almost ten minutes calming her down! (She insisted on bringing her lion. At least my elemental can be dismissed!) But the pet's agitation was understandable. The arrival location is in a very dark forest. Even though it was mid-morning, the forest made it seem like night! It's made even worse by the thick cloud cover - I mean, it's a lot fresher than smog, but the whole island feels damp and cold and dark. Gloomy. Maybe a little ominous.

We followed the signs to the Faire proper. The flashing lights and moving parts made me think of Kezan. ~~What I wouldn't give for an ice cold glass of Kaja Cola~~ The Faire is massive - clearly Silas saved a lot of coin! It's much better lit than the path; there are bonfires every few steps, torches between those, and even firebreathers roaming the streets, entertaining the guests! It looks like a pretty demanding job; must be good money in that.

While Myda tried out the games, I just looked around. The contrast of bright lights and dark forest is familiar, but somehow manages to be way eerier than Kezan ever was. The carnies grin when they sell you tickets, but once the transaction's finished they go right back to serious, even grim. The trials of customer service? Maybe not. I spent some time talking with Aimee, who runs the pastry shop and got the impression that she genuinely loves her job. It seems that all Darkmoon's employees love the Faire. True employee loyalty can't be beat, but I'm curious to know how Silas earned such devotion from them, and why they frown when no one's looking.

As it turned out, Myda was pretty good at the Faire games, especially target shooting and the ring toss. She won a good pile of tickets, but it wasn't quite enough to buy anything. Maybe I'll try some games myself, see if I can't earn enough tickets to buy her a treat. After all, I need to treat my employee at least as well as Silas treats his!

The Great Blog Noblegarden Egg Hunt!

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 02:04:00 +0000

HEY! Have you signed up to participate in this? Even if you don't plan to hide an egg, are you ready to EGG HUNT? Kamalia of Kamalia et Alia is continuing the tradition started by Angelya by hosting this year's event! Get thee to her post, or email her to register your blog as an egg spot! Then, cleverly (or not so cleverly) hide your egg and email her with its location! Remember, you only have until April the 8th to hide your egg, so don't delay. Your entry listing all the eggs and their locations must be delivered to her inbox no later than midnight (UTC) on April 12. Fun! Drama! Mystery! Intrigue! Prizes!!! Do this thing!

The trouble with audio

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 14:00:00 +0000

All Things Azeroth is always advertising for the website audible. My initial reaction was excitement - books! I love books! Me and books, we're tight like sisters. Then I realized that since I have serious trouble concentrating on audio, it would be entirely wasted on me.

I'm not entirely sure what the problem is. I do have some problems hearing purely on the volume level, but more often I find that even if I can hear the sound, I have trouble understanding the meaning. The yearly work health check says my hearing is just fine, so it must just be a part of my brain that says "Yeah that sound, I don't think I'll pay attention to it."

In person, I will watch a person's mouth if I'm having trouble understanding. I can't actually read lips, but making myself focus on the source of the sound makes it easier to concentrate on it. When it comes to audio-only conversations, I basically have to stop everything I'm doing to be able to participate. WoW podcasters often mention that they are playing WoW while recording, but for me that would be disastrous! The few podcasts I have participated in have been in complete isolation, with DND on all my chat programs and WoW turned off.

Passive listening, like podcasts, requires slightly less effort. I can do mindless activities like cleaning up, cooking, or farming while focusing on a prerecorded conversation. (To this day, going to Burning Steppes makes me think of Girls Gone WoW.) My biggest bane is vent, which is such a bummer! Using vent for raids has become increasingly hard for me. When the RL starts to helpfully explain the strat, my brain tunes right out. If I didn't read strats or have experience with the fights, I would be completely screwed! When healing assignments are given out, I always ask for confirmation in the healer channel. It's kind of a running gag that I frequently tab out to check facebook. I do sometimes tab out, usually to check my feedreader during breaks, but my flighty impression comes mostly from the fact that my pathetic ears betraaaaay meeee! The longer a day I've had, the harder it is to buckle down and focus on aural input.

During a boss fight is just fine, because I'm concentrating so hard on the fight. Taking verbal cues like "brez Spanky" or "green platform next" fits right in with reacting to the trumpets and gongs of DBM. But as soon as the fight ends (or I die...) my brain goes right back to la la land!

Have you ever had trouble focusing on audio? What do you do to help yourself pay attention? What are things that help you focus in general?

[Shared Topic] Rats and Turtles and Pinchy, oh my!

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 12:30:00 +0000

I'm slipping in just under the wire for this week's Blog Azeroth shared topic, suggested by Stringtheory of Perish Twice, who asks:

Fishing is an odd sort of minigame in WoW and people I’ve talked to either love it or hate it. So what’s your take on the most grindy of sports?

There's a lot to like about this topic; for one, the title is evocative of The Wizard of Oz, which was my favorite child movie. Finding the perfect ruby slippers has been one of my lifelong goals. Then there's the fact that it's about fishing, meaning fish, which reminds me of my fishing jig. (Yeah, I sing Strong Bad songs when I'm fishing. I also give pep talks to my eggs when boiling. Are you really surprised?)

Catch this, nerds!

In meatspace, I have zero interest in fishing. When I was a kid my dad used to walk me and my brother down to the nearby pond and try to teach us to fish. Mostly, he would fish while T and I threw bread crumbs at the alligators that came to investigate our activities. ("Ok, so you hold the pole like this and wait for the fish to bite!" "DAD!! I hit that one right in the nostril!") We never caught any fish.

WoW fishing is mostly a means to an end. The end of course being achievements, or more importantly, loot. I love my fishing pets! I get just as excited about them as I do any other rare or highly coveted drop. Fishing with a goal, be it to catch a rare fish or stock up on cooking mats, is the only way I can get myself to fish for any extended period of time. It can be nice to crank up a podcast or my sweet karaoke playlist and while away the time, but fishing is a slightly more annoying sort of grind in my opinion. When you are camping something, you can basically set up shop, turn up all the sounds, and walk away from the computer. When you are grinding something, you have to move around either looting or killing, so you are always doing something. Fishing is the worst kind of wait, where you have to actually pay attention, but aren't always doing something. Mostly you're watching the bobber and waiting for it to move, and hoping that your stupid ears pick up the sound before the cast ends. Then there's the maddening dance to get your bobber to land in the stupid pool! You'd think they would have worked out some sort of targeting system that makes your cast gravitate towards the pool, rather than cast about willy nilly like you've got all the time in the world to cast 5, 6, 7 times until you finally land the pool. Akabeko has maxed fishing and a sweet fishing-buff pole; why can't she hit the damn pool on the first try? DO I NEED TO BE HITCAPPED FOR THIS?!

Ok rant's done, time for silly photos.

You look kinda tasty...

Oh Mr. Pinchy! You taste so good with butter!

Chuck is making friends with this wild pinchy

I found you, elusive Summer Bass!

I'll always love Sholazar

The Leatherworkers [Tier 3]

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 00:30:00 +0000

"All right, so just as the gear was changing, I quit my job as a leatherworker. Since I had been rehabilitated, I was eager to get back to my original profession." The orc held up a finger to stave off any protest from her companion. "Yes, yes, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with gathering."

The tauren obediently closed his mouth. The orc quirked an eyebrow at him and took a sip of her drink before continuing.

"The Horde assault on Naxxramas had just begun. I applied to rejoin my old battalion, and as soon as they proved I could swing an axe and take a hit, they sent me off to the front lines. I was expecting complete madness, and I got it. My battalion was commanded by a troll who had already been into Naxxramas several times. He led us against the patchwork creatures in the Construct Quarter, and it was horrible."

The orc paused to drink and swallow. She used the condensation from her glass to draw a tiny picture on the bar, then smeared it out.

"There were undead...scientists in that quarter. They scavenged body parts to create bodies for the souls they had harvested. There were big constructs, taller than three orcs stacked on each others shoulders, but they were big and slow and hard to create. The little ghouls, however..." she scrubbed a hand across her head. "Sometimes patrols would go missing. Or we would lose a comrade in a skirmish. If we - if you didn't recover the body, the scientists would. And then they could use it for parts. So we had to collect the dead, even the ghouls' bodies, and burn them. Otherwise, you'd find yourself fighting a familiar face attached to a mishmash of decaying limbs. The fresher the construct, the more familiar they sounded."

The tauren shifted uncomfortably and licked his lips. The fur on the back of his neck was standing on end.

Lost in her own recollection, the orc didn't notice. "But the worst part was the sound. The big constructs, you see, were made out of regular bodies. They just took more parts to make. And some of the bodies were still alive and aware when they were sewn in. They knew what was happening. So they screamed. Whatever magic kept them alive kept them from needing food or sleep. They didn't have to do anything but scream or cry or beg for death. And we could always hear their voices echoing in the halls."

Her eyes lost focus and her voice dropped. Now the story was mostly for herself. "Our captain had been there a long time. He hadn't gotten a break from the voices. So one night, when I was on watch duty, he snapped. Started screaming about how he wouldn't let us fall prey to the monsters. He grabbed his axe and set upon the sleeping soldiers. Everyone woke up. The guards all ran, but I got there first. I stopped him."

She rubbed the back of her hand across her dry lips. "There were multiple witnesses, so I was convicted of no crime. They understood; there had been similar incidents. I was honorably discharged and received valor commendations." The orc drew the chain around her neck out of her shirt, revealing a signet ring and two thick medals. "For being wounded in combat," she indicated one medal, "for valor," the other medal, "and for loyal service to the Horde," the ring. The tauren admired each in turn.

Suddenly the orc laughed, breaking the oppressive mood. "I apologize for telling you all that. I'm afraid I'm a maudlin drinking partner."

"Not at all," the tauren protested. "Never in all my days have I seen anything like that."

"But, you're still wondering about the point of the story, aren't you?" He tried too hard to appear nonchalant and gave his curiosity away. "Don't worry; this is the good part. Since I had left the military, I returned to leatherworking. The top-end gear was being crafted to specifically combat the creatures in Naxxramas, and the crafters wanted leather from the source! I still had some interest in seeing everything in that hellhole dead, so I volunteered to lead a team of gatherers. They were happy to have a veteran at the head. I got clearance from the Horde War Generals to harvest leather from the creatures in the Arachnid Quarter. I didn't want to risk the Construct Quarter again. We followed behind and orc company, sometimes harvesting leather from their kills, sometimes helping in the battle. The leatherworkers with me were very skilled, and our only casualties were unavoidable. Our campaign lasted nearly a month before we had scared up enough spiders to meet our leather quota, and then we returned to Orgrimmar to deliver, collect our pay,and wait for our next turn in the rotation. My old master said he was glad to have me back in his shop, and I think I was, too."

The tauren grunted. "Now that was a satisfying story."

A Steamy Romance Novel: The Annotated Collection

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 02:00:00 +0000

My affection of romance novels begins sometime in high school when, on vacation with my family, we were picking up some things for the grocery store. Wandering down the aisles behind my mother, I stopped to peruse the shiny paperbacks on display.

"Hey, can I get one of these?"

She glanced back at me. "This is the same stuff they sell at the airport. Do you even know any of these authors?"

I held up a book featuring a shirtless, heavily muscled man being fawned over by a woman with amazingly thick blonde hair. "But I need to expand my horizons by reading this trashy romance novel!"

My mother frowned at the cover. "Do you actually want to read that?"

"Mooooooom it's my birthday and what am I going to read on the beeeaaaach? I neeeeeed iiiit!" I whined in response.

She rolled her eyes, probably asking the heavens how she had ended up with such weird kids. Then again, she and Dad are pretty weird so it's not really a mystery. The book ended up not scanning properly and we had to call in a price check, complete with the clerk reading the title over the loudspeaker. It was priceless. I remember my mother telling me that she was "only feeding my bodice-ripper habit because it was my birthday."

The genre was "time-travel romance" which alone made it worth its weight in gold.

I told you that story because, according to my 9th grade AP English teacher, one of the methods you can use to lead into an essay is by telling an anecdote. (He referred to these methods as "hookers" and cackled to himself every time he said it.) Also I just wanted to tell you about it because it makes me laugh and shows how cool my mom is.

You hopefully read my previous post in which I invented the next book in the Steamy Romance Novel series entitled Shatter My Heart. I really should have gone with something pandaren-related for relevance! but since technically the author wouldn't know anything about Mists I decided against it.

What are these steamy romance novels I speak of? Why, they are only some of the greatest gray items to appear in game! They can be obtained by drops from chests or mobs, but are most commonly pickpocketed.

Currently, there are five volumes available in the game. They stack up to 20 (so you can have a real library!) and follow the sexual adventures of a man named Marcus as he samples all the physical delights that Azerothian womankind has to offer. Each book makes specific references to current events in the expansion it comes out in, beginning with Burning Crusade. The most exciting parts are always conveniently destroyed by "the elements" or "repeated readings," or "require level 99" or "a secret goblin decoder ring." What a tease!

(There is one more romance novel accessible in game. It's not a lootable item, but rather an interactive book that exists in the Plaguelands. Prince Keleseth is standing right in front of it, which is unfortunate because "the next few pages seem to be stuck together." It's called Touch of the Banshee, and it's about the rotting undead Skor'zad and his night of ichor-infused passion with the banshee Madame Sidnari. Read at your own risk!)

A Steamy Romance Novel features Nahni as the love interest. She is a mage, and I would assume a human, although it's not stated. The heat of their impassioned kiss melts her frost armor, resulting in "a torrent of sweltering vapor" and making a pun of the book's title. In this book, Marcus is referred to as a warrior. It can be obtained by pickpocketing 169 different types of mobs, most of them level 60+ denizens of BC dungeons. Perhaps my favorite part is that it can also be obtained from rares in the plaguelands, and two of them are Scarlet Crusaders.

Forbidden Love is all kinds of kinky. The femme fatale is Ah'tusa...an undead rogue. In this installment, Marcus is specifically referred to as a paladin, as evidenced by my favorite quote of all time: "Twelve seconds? I know you have abilities that last longer than that." Even better, the action takes place in the Underground Tram. Hey dwarves and gnomes, I'm in ur tram, soiling it with my necrotic cross-faction love! You can pickpocket this book from 151 different kinds of level 70+ mobs in Northrend.

Northern Exposure takes place in Dalaran, specifically at A Hero's Welcome. That's the inn in the Alliance-only section, by the way. I wonder if he felt weird after enthusiastically getting it on with a dead lady? It doesn't stop him from expanding his palette with a diminutive gnome named Tavi. She's an affliction warlock, and accidentally summons a felhound into the bedroom. Yikes! Then, because she's into pain, she puts a dot on Marcus. He heals himself and mentions that his specialization is retribution. Aww yeah, still kinky. This book has a chance to drop from Bag of Fishing Treasures, the reward for the Dalaran fishing dailies.

Blue Moon introduces the draenei Soola and my guess is that it takes place in Azuremyst. Soola is a shaman, as she "walks purposefully across the lake." She hurts Marcus' feelings when she mentions she could craft a piece of jewelry better than his gift by accident. Zing! During the course of their passionate lovemaking, lightning strikes a nearby lake and bathes them both in - wait for it - steam. This can be obtained by pickpocketing one mob and one mob only: Argent Confessor Paletress. Fist bump, sister!

Big Brass Bombs is the longest of the books so far with a whopping five whole pages! Interestingly enough, the available scene only mentions Marcus in passing - the goblin Revi has a blind date with him and is going shopping for...supplies. Even better, Revi Ramrod is an actual NPC - the riding trainer in the Goblin Slums of Orgrimmar! The "Jack" she buys "The Bigger One," hardened adamantite tubes, and jumper cables from is the engineering trainer "Jack" Pisarek Slamfix. This book has a chance to drop from Twilight Abductors or can be pickpocketed from 150 level 80+ mobs in Cataclysm zones and dungeons.

But the best part, sweet Earthmother, the best part: who is Marcus? We know that Revi is a real character in the game, implying that these aren't saucy fictions designed to titillate, but actual records of sexual liaisons! Wowhead lists seven disctinct NPCs named Marcus. One is a female human in Northrend, one is a male undead, one is a former patrolling rarespawn with a penchant for pink, one is a creepy draenei ghost, one only appears in Gilneas, one is an Argent Tournament questgiver, and one is a Tol Barad questgiver. But it's not any of those characters. They don't fit the profile, or haven't been around long enough to match the facts. No, it's even better than any of those NPCs.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you General Marcus Jonathan, the High Commander of Stormwind Defense and Azeroth's International Man of Mystery. Back when he was just a Private, he wished for "a glorious, bushy mustache." Not only did he get that, he also got the porn star moves to match! His abilities on wowhead are distinctly warrior-like. Looking at the progression in the novels, it seems like he went from warrior to paladin to warrior again? Or maybe he's taking liberties for a more interesting tale. The comments on his wowhead page assure me that if you /wave or /salute him, he will respond not only with an immediate action, but will also say "Greetings, citizen." This guy sure is friendly! That must be how he meets ~the ladies~, amirite?

Where will he travel next? Who will he sweep off her feet? Will he use Blessing of Protection? I'm hoping for some tauren action, personally. Did you know he shows up to arrest Hogger when you defeat him nowadays? Marcus/gnoll OTP?? This guy takes all comers regardless of race or class (or gender? HIT IT!).

I'll leave you with my favorite comment from his page:

- So if you /salute him he compliments you, and if you /rude him he threatens you. What happens if I /flirt on a hot female character?
- He writes a book.

A Steamy Romance Novel: Shatter My Heart

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:00:00 +0000

It was a well-known fact that in exchange for her commitment to friendly and personal business transactions, Boss Mida Silvertongue enjoyed a fierce loyalty and genuine affection from merchants and assistants alike. It was slightly less well-known that she had an enduring penchant for literature of an erotic nature.

It is because of both of these facts that her assistant Kazit spent some time each week attending to correspondence from his contacts in rare books and publications. (He never told her he what he was doing, or that he charged it as overhead on his timecard.)

Boss Mida's office was sparsely decorated, but Kazit knew that in her home she had, hidden behind a frankly alarming display of taxidermied bears, an impressive collection of steamy romance novels. He had first become aware of her hobby when Passionate Azeroth began arriving monthly at the office, followed soon by Goblins and Gears in Fiction. A closer peek at the bookshelf had revealed titles like Outlandser, Emerald Dream Man, Hyjal's Mountain, Silverleaf from the Maelstrom, and seemingly everything ever published by Julix Sparkwood. Many of the volumes came with dust jackets printed with fanciful images of shirtless men, orcs, and even gnomes gallivanting on sunset beaches with swooning women, trolls, and dwarves.

For the most part, Mida didn't need help acquiring books. She had the means to maintain a personal library, and her periodicals kept her up to date on current publications. Her biggest vice was collecting the extremely limited edition works of an author known only as M. J. Robb. Mida had confessed to Kazit that her greatest dream was to own a complete collection of the author's works, and so Kazit had gone quietly to work.

No one seemed to know much about the mysterious author beyond the neatly handwritten manuscripts that she or he would send to the publisher once or twice a year. Popular consensus said Robb was human, likely located in Elwynn Forest or Redridge. By funding limitations or by design, Robb's works were printed sparingly and hard to find new. However, Kazit was nothing if not determined, and he managed to scare up used copies of Big Brass Bombs, Blue Moon, Forbidden Love, and Northern Exposure in Common and Orcish. He even found a special edition printing of Big Brass Bombs in Gnomish, which Mida had actually framed and hung above her headboard.

When Kazit received the hastily-written note announcing a new novel from a goblin correspondent in Theramore, he simply put the requested amount of gold in a pouch, mailed it off, and marked the release date with a star on his calendar.

Now the book, wrapped in innocuous brown paper and without even so much as a mailing address, was waiting patiently for Mida on her desk. She breezed in at her usual time, half-drunk cup of coffee in one hand and handful of reports in the other, and passed Kazit with her typical cheerful hello. Kazit smiled slightly to himself as he heard his boss put down her papers and unwrap the package. There was an audible intake of breath, and he imagined her running her fingers over the pristine cover, the glossy lettering Shatter My Heart embossed over a full moon.

There was the rustle as she reverently thumbed through the pages, appreciating the heft of the book, and Kazit allowed himself to recall the passage he had read when, in a fit of curiosity, he had cracked open the book before re-wrapping it.

Hesitantly, Marcus followed his guide into the basement. The air smelled dry and musty, and dust swirled lazily at their feet. Although Marcus peered in vain into the gloom beyond the circle of firelight, Sophia appeared to see just fine in the dark.

At the bottom of the stairs, she stopped and turned to face him without a word.

"Shouldn't we be hurrying, in case there are still worgen about in these old houses?" he asked.

Sophia pursed her plump, juicy lips and quirked her head. "Are you really worried about that at moment like this?" Her hand closed over his on the torch, slender fingers warming his wrist before pulling the shaft from his grip. She moved to hang the torch in a nearby sconce, and he reached out. His fingertips skimmed along her wrist, suddenly feeling fur...

The book shut with a click, and Mida leaned out of her office. Kazit looked placidly at her, as if he had nothing to do with the appearance of the book.

"Cancel my appointments for the day. And," she grinned knowingly, "take the rest of the day for yourself."

---

This post has been brought to you by Big Bear Butt's writing challenge, in which he tasked writers with creating a short story using the following words: juicy, slender, vain, shaft, torch, star, hidden. (Find all seven!) Check out his roundup post here for more responses!

Then and Now

noreply@blogger.com (redcow) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 02:00:00 +0000

More memes! More memes! Vidyala at Manalicious wants to see a timeline of characters! Not only was this a fun blast from the past, but it reminded me again of what it is I typically screenshot and why. It seems like I'm sitting on a mountain of data that I rarely use, but when I look through it now it's an incredible photographic journal of stuff that made me laugh, or say WTF, or just want to keep for reference later.

Here's baby Beko! Her horns have changed, but her fur and hairstyle are the same.

I didn't understand why, but I knew that having this hat was A Thing.

More flight paths in front of the moon!

When I got my first mount, I posted a pic on the guild forums. Because it was a big damn deal.

About to step through the Dark Portal! Omg omg!!!!

Aww yeah check out that sweet gear. I love that the braids hang down from the cowl!

Sailormoon hat! Now that's the good stuff!

My sweet Lashwerweave getup.

Killing Deathwing. Clearly my UI has changed a LOT!

Now I have transmogged gear. So fashionable!

Just for funsies, this is a bosskill edit I made for my original guild. So much fun!