Regret Last Night

it-might-be-the-only-time-that-i-could-actually-tell-u-i-love-u-i-could-have-confessed-that-it-was-a

Anonymous — Tue, 15 May 2012 19:49:13 +0000

it might be the only time that i could actually tell u i love u. i could have confessed that it was always you for the past 9 years but nope i chickened out. we were holding hands but i let go. it might not mean anything to you but it was the best moment of my life. it might sound silly but not when the other person is you. i’ll probably never stop loving you but i promise i’ll hide it

i-asked-my-gf-what-she-wanted-to-do-for-prom-and-she-told-me-she-was-going-with-mike-because-she-fel

Anonymous — Sun, 13 May 2012 00:04:32 +0000

I asked my GF what she wanted to do for prom and she told me she was going with Mike because she felt bad for him. She’s been over at his place every day this week.

ex-texted-me-asking-me-to-come-over-and-talk-so-i-did-her-and-her-new-boyfriend-ambush-me-and-he-tri

Anonymous — Wed, 09 May 2012 20:11:42 +0000

Ex texted me asking me to come over and talk. so I did. Her and her new boyfriend ambush me and he tries to start a fight. I should have known better.

brutal-hangover-this-morning-added-a-bunch-of-sugar-to-my-coffee-and-went-to-work-only-to-find-out-t

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:25:16 +0000

Brutal hangover this morning. Added a bunch of sugar to my coffee and went to work only to find out that I added salt and not sugar. – Regret this Monday

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Anonymous — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:08:03 +0000

got dared to wear girl’s underwear and now I like them more than my own underwear.

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Anonymous — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 01:48:51 +0000

GF beat me at Halo last night and it was only her first time playing.

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Anonymous — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:49:28 +0000

cheated on my bf. fml.

i-am-a-bartender-its-not-uncommon-for-women-to-come-in-distraught-with-their-situation-boyfriend-hus

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:30:42 +0000

I am a bartender. It’s not uncommon for women to come in, distraught with their situation (boyfriend, husband, etc.) and vent to me. Most often I’m in a relationship and have little reason to reciprocate their advances.

A few days ago, a good friend and ex-neighbor of mine comes in. She’s had some hard times with her husband, they have been looking to split for a while. Come to find out, she’s been messing with another ex-neighbor of mine, who also happens to be a friend that comes to the same family dinner I’m at every week and works for my Uncle…

We talk for a bit, I close down the bar and the next thing you know we’re almost decimating the men’s bathroom going at it. I mean we straight up ripped the toilet out of the floor, knocked down a ladder and busted the wall, there’s not much we didn’t break. Now every time I see my friend I have to pretend I haven’t even talked to her in months…

i-was-in-a-dorm-room-on-my-fourth-beer-hanging-with-friends-i-was-flirting-with-this-girl-cheryl-who

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 05:11:24 +0000

I was in a dorm room, on my fourth beer, hanging with friends. I was flirting with this girl, Cheryl, who was in the midst of a dorm-fuck spree: I knew she had been sleeping with this other guy, but at the same time she’d been hitting on me for a while. Here’s the thing: I had a girlfriend. We had started drifting apart, ever since coming back from Christmas break, but she was still nominally my girlfriend. Let’s call her Alyssa. Here’s the other thing: I was drinking. I wasn’t drunk, but Cheryl was. And with Alyssa being the black haired, chain-smoking narcissistic nympho who was mainly just having sex with me at this point, I decided to act against my better judgement and… after pounding back the rest of my beer, found myself holding hands with Cheryl as she led me back to her room. We got in, and I said we should have a shot first (she had taken her Jameson). She agreed, and we took a swig. We stood there, making out. I loosened her trendy black pants-the kind that women wear to look business casual crossed with wanting-sex– and started finger banging her. She loosened my pants and stroked my cock. After a few minutes of her panting in my ear and me wishing she would just give me head, that’s exactly what she did; I didn’t have a condom and I didn’t want to fuck her, exactly. She kneeled down and slurped her tongue around my cock, put her lips around it, but only the tip. Sort of not believing myself as I said it, I told her to deep-throat me. Hilariously, she complied.
So there she was, my cock all the way in her mouth, and this is finally feeling like a real blowjob, when my phone rings. Being somewhat drunk, I reach down in to my pocket and take it out and answer. It’s Alyssa. As soon as I say hello, Cheryl stops (phew). Alyssa is smashed—her black eyeliner probably smearing off, no Godsmack album nearby to comfort her–and is asking me to come to this party at her friend Kate’s house. Apparently, some creepy guy is making advances at her. I tell her uh, I dunno, I’m kind of hanging out with friends right now. “She says okay___it’s fine, I’m just drunk…” But I suddenly have a change of heart/sex interest and tell her that yeah, I’ll come over. By this time, Cheryl is sitting on the floor, red-faced, flabbergasted at what I’m doing. I make a quick exit. I put my pants on, take another swig of her Jameson and tell her so long, maybe she can finish next time. And run.
I’m standing outside, waiting for Alyssa’s friend’s boyfriend to pick me up outside the dorm. I bum a cigarette. Then the boyfriend, whose name I forget, pulls up. As we drive out there to this trailer park (by the way this is in the middle of Maine, where people casually live in trailer parks, no my girl was not some kind of redneck; some of her friends, slightly so), he offers me some of his Jack Daniels. This dude drinks and drives at the same time! People in Maine are nuts! We pass it back and forth and for some reason I’m not worried. On the way, he hits a small animal, spilling some of the rum on my shirt.
Once we get to the party, it’s past midnight. Everybody is drunk. Alyssa is fine. That guy left a while ago. We drink a few shots of her Bacardi and gradually wait as people clear out. I am kind of inexplicably relieved to be here, and the alcohol has given me an amped up sex drive that makes me gratified to be hooking up with two chicks in one night.
Kate and her boyfriend have retired to their bedroom and everybody else is gone. Alyssa and I pull out the couch-bed we always sleep on when we’re here (Kate knows how often we’ve had sex in her house and is apparently okay with it). We get busy pretty fast. Alyssa is on the pill, so I do not have to bother with a condom. I get to fuck her raw, again, and cum inside her, again. Keep in mind this is when I was twenty years old and completely horny and did not give a fuck about safety precautions. I have all her clothes off except her bra; good enough. I enter her and start of slow, and at an awkward angle because it’s so dark. She tells me to stick myself all the way inside her. I jam myself in, up to my balls. She whispers to me to go as hard and fast as possible. She asked for it. In a few minutes, the bed is squeaking, Alyssa is moaning (she was trying to be silent, but we’ve abandonded that pretense), my cock feels like a battering ram drenched in pussy goo, as if the battle of Hastings were being fought against a G-spot. I think—and I was drunk, so I can’t be sure—but I believe I hear Kate race past us to the bathroom, pee, and race back to her room. I’ll never know.
Alyssa clutches my shoulder and whispers that I’m going to make her cum. I feel stimulated to go faster, more, more. The alcohol has so completely drenched my synapses that it’s made me not give a fuck about anything Alyssa says does or moans about; I feel nothing except the build-up to my own orgasm. Then I feel this dripping wetness on my balls. It dawns on me. This. Bitch. Is. Squirting. On my ballsack. I guess that’s what I get for hauling my ass out here at midnight. A squirted on ballsack. Still, the alcohol brushes this minor inconvenience aside.
She locks her legs around me and I blow my load at around the same time. This is such a great fuck that I pull out a little early. Whoops. After lying on her while we catch our breath, Alyssa starts worrying, saying that we have to clean up, it’s part of sex, oh no, oh jeez. But it’s hard for me to care about this either, because I have the sudden urge to rush to the bathroom, where I vomit for a minute or so. So the alcohol did not forget about its dark side entirely.
We clean up (mostly her) and I pass out in my shirt, probably smelling of vomit, hard liquor and pussy. As an afterward: I never talked to Cheryl again, Alyssa and I broke up officially about three weeks later, and I have been as drunk since, but have not had quite the same crazy night.

in-an-effort-to-match-my-black-eyebrows-with-my-bleach-blonde-hair-i-lightened-them-but-went-to-a-pa

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 03:02:44 +0000

in an effort to match my black eyebrows with my bleach blonde hair i lightened them, but went to a party with black lights and was known/referred to as “that chick without eyebrows” all evening.

figured-my-woman-might-be-cheating-turned-gps-tracking-on-her-cell-without-her-knowing-tracked-her-o

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 23:31:58 +0000

figured my woman might be cheating. turned gps tracking on her cell without her knowing. tracked her online till she stopped then I drove over. she was fucking 2 guys. I was in school with them both. fuck you all.

i-got-with-a-guy-from-my-high-school-who-i-dont-like-or-find-attractive-because-i-was-drunk-and-now-

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:06:49 +0000

I got with a guy from my high school who i don’t like or find attractive because I was drunk and now he is in love with me.

i-had-sex-with-my-daughter-in-law-last-night-and-i-liked-it-a-great-deal-so-did-she-and-we-made-plan

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:13:06 +0000

I had sex with my daughter-in-law last night and I liked it a great deal. So did she and we made plans to get away during the Final Four next weekend.

i-ve-owned-many-illegal-massage-parlors-and-now-regret-not-keeping-in-touch-with-my-nak-for-making-m

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:12:37 +0000

i ve owned many illegal massage parlors and now regret not keeping in touch with my nak for making money and setteled on being a high priced house wife and i feel like i am not up to my potential in a loveless marriage and dreams of being a world famous brothel madame so i regret a lot

i-was-arguing-with-my-wife-and-i-left-to-stay-at-a-friends-house-im-38-hes-62-but-his-wife-is-around

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:42:33 +0000

i was arguing with my wife and i left to stay at a friends house. im 38, he’s 62 but his wife is around 55 and young looking. i went out and got drunk, & came back to their house. i fell in the bathroom and my friends wife (annie) came and helped me up. i was a drunk crying bitch and she held me close to those nice as Double D’s. i fucked her right their in the bathroom i been here for a month now. we dont talk about it but we have been fucking our brains out.

i-spent-a-lot-of-effort-into-allowing-this-guy-who-was-down-on-his-luck-to-see-the-light-at-the-end-

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:40:30 +0000

i spent a lot of effort into allowing this guy who was down on his luck to see the light at the end of the tunnel making my home open to him and his homeless cat they were great guest and at one point i enjoyed being able to help and giving of myself intimately and having me feel like i was giving him reason to live and what an idot i am thinking my kindness was going to get me laid the way i wanted but nope it all was awful and i cheated on my husband damm i regret everything

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Anonymous — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:38:14 +0000

Girlfriend told me to meet her at Applebees. But instead of having dinner she used it as a place to break up with me.

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Anonymous — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:46:27 +0000

Got a puppy a few weeks ago. Came home with date. Making Out. She sat right in puppy poo. Feels bad man

ive-never-had-an-orgasm-everytime-i-think-i-do-it-feels-like-im-going-to-pee-so-i-stop-my-best-frien

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:14:32 +0000

I’ve never had an orgasm. Everytime I think I do it feels like I’m going to pee so I stop. My best friend said that’s what it feels like when you start to have one and just to let it go. That is what I did but i did in fact end up peeing all over my bf

i-stumbled-upon-regretlastnight-com-it-detailed-guys-being-dicks-and-girls-being-sluts-featuring-suc

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:23:15 +0000

i stumbled upon regretlastnight.com. it detailed guys being dicks and girls being sluts, featuring such delights as ‘i forgot to wipe my dick so my girlfriend smelled my booty call.’ and ‘my boyfriend and i weren’t getting on so i slept with a fratboy’.
it ruined my night because it reminded me of the stupid, heartless, vacuous assholes who cover the world. grow up, learn some fucking manners, get a life.