But in my Amazon search for “books for girls,” the results were pretty much one-note. They were all about how girls can do anything, how girls are just as good as boys.

But I was just looking for books about mermaids, unicorns, and other silly things. My boy read about trucks, animals, and other silly things.

Raising a girl is a distinct and high honor. I don’t take it lightly.

And neither did my parents.

But here’s the thing. Never in my life did my parents ever say to me, “You can do anything a boy can do.” I distinctly remember my dad saying to all three of us girls, “You can do anything you want to do.” That was the end of it. No comparison to boys. Just an assertion that we could do anything we ever wanted. And he fully believed what he was saying.

I think that’s why I never remember comparing myself to the abilities of boys. It was probably easy because I didn’t have brothers to compete with. But at any rate, my raisins taught me that I could do anything I wanted to do. I have my own strengths. My own passions. And I have always tried to follow them. Gosh, I want the exact same for my daughter.

So, the search results for baby girl books startled me. And irritated me. I have no desire to encourage my girl by saying that she “can do anything a boy can do.”

I recall Galatians 3.28, which says, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” In context, this verse is talking about how all of us are of equal value in Christ.

And 1 Corinthians 12.4-6 says, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them… different kinds of service, but the same Lord… different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” While we’ll encourage our little girl to do whatever she wants, we’ll do it with her strengths, passions, and desires in mind.

So, there will be no, “You can be anything a man can be.”

There will all of this: “You want to go for that job? Do it!” “Want to take that major in college? Absolutely!” “You want to raise a load full of kids? Sounds fun! How can I help?” “You want to be your own boss and start your own business? That sounds awesome!” “I’m so proud of you, sweet girl!”

And what’s more important is that we will say these exact same things to our son. Well, except we’ll call him our “sweet boy.”

Because, to me, ambition isn’t flavored by gender.

The post One way we WON’T be encouraging our daughter appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

As is the case with almost everything else this year, this holiday season is different.

I spent my first ever Thanksgiving away from my family this year. It was brutal but I wanted to do my best to help stop the spread of this slippery illness.

And this morning my mom gave us encouragement to stay in Ohio for Christmas this year because the regret would be too great if we got sick or died so we could be together at Christmas. I cried, but I was also relieved that I don’t have to put that pressure on myself now.

To top it off, my sister had a miscarriage this week and I can’t even be there to just be there. It’s really what I do best–just sitting around and being present when someone is hurting.

But, aside from those incredibly sad and tear-inducing things, I’m finding so many intangible gifts during this 2020 holiday season.

Anyone else?

I’m feeling far less holiday-induced stress. I’m ordering my gifts for friends and family instead of fighting crowds at stores. I’m not feeling terrible when I turn down Secret Santa at work yet again (even though they have a virtual one, I didn’t feel so bad because I simply ignored the email; somehow, that eased my guilt). I’m not faced with a plethora of holiday treats to deny or choose from carefully at work and at church events. There aren’t a million and one obligations or potential obligations popping up all over the place in a whack-a-mole-esque manner that I feel like I have to squash.

Also, my oldest is almost four and he’s loving Christmas lights and singing Christmas songs and reading Christmas books and talking about Baby Jesus. So delightful. Our greatest hope is for him to know and love Jesus so we’re relishing the opportunities to talk about Baby Jesus with him. Watching him light up when he talks about Baby Jesus is seriously a joy.

I also get a lot more time to be home and look at my Christmas tree. I like it. It’s simple but lovely. And since we always take it down as soon as the kiddo(s) go to bed on Christmas night (our son’s birthday is the next day!), I’m enjoying a bit more time with the tree.

Could 2020 be a gift that we’re not seeing?

Maybe I’m alone in asking myself this question. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. That’s okay; it wouldn’t be the first time and it won’t be the last.

Could 2020 be offering us the gift of slowing down for once in our lives?

Maybe this year we need to focus less on the actual gifts and more on the people we have been given in our very home or small bubble.

This could be the year we decide to pare down some traditions that didn’t bring our families joy. Or traditions that were too expensive before we lost our jobs or had to spend more money on things that we didn’t plan to buy because of a completely unexpected global pandemic.

Staying home instead of traveling could be the very thing to help us recenter our focus on Baby Jesus who came from heaven to be born, live, and then die for us so we could let Him live as King in our hearts and not just a tangential concept that we think about for a few seconds every year.

I certainly hope there will never be another year where we’re having to choose to make these tough sacrifices without knowing for sure that it’s the best way to go and for how long we’ll have to sacrifice.

But in the meantime, I’m going to try to enjoy the very slow Christmas season, cook some delightful treats, play Rend Collective’s new Christmas album on repeat, and don my favorite pajamas as we celebrate the Hope who arrived and the Love who lives.

Join me?

The post Is Christmas 2020 a gift? appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

This was the second time I’d stepped foot on the property for wedding purpose.  The first? Justin and Rachel’s wedding, the first-ever wedding someone asked to pay me to shoot! Rachel is Ben’s sister!

I just met Megan during the process of capturing their engagement pictures and planning her big day. She has a heart for Jesus and loves Ben so much. We really jived when it came to organizing the big day. I’m all about doing as much as possible to prepare for capturing everything possible on wedding days. She was so game for that. And when we sat down to reveal photos to her after their honeymoon, she was just a delight to talk to. (I mean, it totally helped that Ben had to run home and turn off the stove! Ha!) That bothered me zero because I’m a quality time kinda girl, so that time talking was a sheer pleasure.

But I’ve known Ben since what feels like forever. But, actually, I met him at his sister’s wedding. And then his mom hired me to get his and his twin sister’s senior pictures. That was back when Ben had a full head of hair! And then he attended OSU when I helped The Hunk as he served as pastor for an on-campus church; Ben went to our church at the beginning of his time at OSU. Ben, I think you’ve appeared on my blog more than any other person! Congrats on such an impressive accomplishment!

I can’t get over how much generosity surrounded this wedding. Their wedding was held at the Blessing Barn on the grounds at RC Enterprises. It is typically an office, but they use it to bless people from time to time; isn’t that sweet? And Ben’s family absolutely loves. loves. loves. cooking for others.  They cooked the food all morning for the reception. Ben, himself, loves to cook for others. It’s one of the things that Megan loves about Ben. It’s how he celebrates: cooking for others.

Ben and Megan’s day was dry! …but windy. But, when you have a windy day, you werk it.

Luckily, the guys aren’t really affected by wind.

And the made it look like the best. day. ever.

The daddy’s girl in me will never ever ever be sad to orchestrate a father’s first look. Megan’s dad was so nervous before we did the reveal. And he cried. Like. A. Daddy. This moment was presh. I literally tear up when I see these pictures. What a special bond these two have. You can see it all over their faces.

Ben and Megan also read letters and prayed together without seeing one another before the ceremony. These two.

They took turns reading their letters to one another and then prayed together. They were nervous, excited, and nervous. But still so confident and ready to get going.

If there’s one thing that a marriage cannot have enough of, it’s prayer. (And that other thing.) But prayer is clearly the foundation upon which these two are building their marriage.

I will never ever ever not join in during ceremony worship songs. Promise.

There’s no much better than a wide, open, midwestern sky combined with a married couple’s first kiss!

And the same can be said for the second kiss!

Special thanks to The Hunk for suggesting this sweet pair of pictures.

Megan said she was eyeing a field of yellow flowers. I suspected it was the same yellow-flowered field I passed on the way in. It was!

Then we moved onto the reception. Which means cake. This cake, specifically.

Okay, seriously. These ladies, hands down, had the mosts clever, genuine, and lovely bridesmaids toast ever.  They literally made toast. For everyone in the bridal party. Like, freal. I was rolling!

And Ben and Megan danced with their parents.

…and then they danced with one another. I love it when the couple sings to one another during the first dance. So. So. Sweet.

I grabbed them just before sunset to grab these sweet little diddies. What a beautiful sunset! (And couple!)

Ben and Megan were my final couple to let me create a fun highlight film for their big day. I set it to their first dance song. I think all of us cried a little while we watched in our reveal session. Love these moments!

Ben and Megan,
Keep learning about one another. Keep pressing into Jesus together as you grow together.  You will undoubtedly keep being surprised about how much you’re learning about one another. Enjoy it! Enjoy the good food you’re bound to eat for the rest of your lives, the silliness, the adventures, and the challenging seasons that will make you better. Sharpen one another. And love one another, even when you don’t feel like it.
Love,
Rebecca

Vendors:
Flowers: Oberer’s Flowers
Cake: Cake Creations
Hair: Joanne, The Styling Gallery

The post Summer Barn Wedding | Ben and Megan appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

That’s right: a pink church. My. Dream. A pink church complete with a church bell.

I was genuinely overwhelmed by the simple beauty of this church. Stained glass windows. Gas lights. That’s right, old-fashioned gas lights. Wooden benches.

This place was a dream.  And Caitlyn from Ohio History was a delight to work with. She was incredibly friendly and warm and showed me around the place with pride–like she owned it, or something.

And the grounds were classic.  The Ohio Village hosts events all year round. I loved exploring this little plot of historical grounds.

Brian and Chayanne’s taste in flowers had me drooling. It really was the perfect blend of classy, genuine, and understated. As I get to know Chayanne more, I can tell that this reflects who she is.

Speaking of Chayanne. Isn’t her dress just perfect? She’s beautiful!

Brian and Chayanne met online and dated internationally.  They only met in pereson a couple of extended times during their courtship.  Chayanne moved from the Philipines just weeks before their wedding; she lived in Dubai when they met, then she moved to the Philipines after they were engaged as she prepared to move here. Whew! What a story! …and what a globetrotter these two are!

Now, combine her beauty and grace with this stunning location. Boom.

Chayanne perfectly matches the location for her big day.

And, Brian, if you’re reading this… wow. Are you kidding me? If I may say to you in the most sisterly way possible: You look so handsome. And happy. And confident.

Handsome Brian is also a romantic! He surprised Chayanne with a sweet note. She read it before the ceremony. While she didn’t read it out loud, I know she was touched because she had sweet tears in her eyes. Is sweet the theme of this day? I think so!

Chayanne and Brian orchestrated a beautiful blend of the two of them. Traditions from the Philipines combined with traditions from America were so special.  For instance, Chayanne walked halfway down the aisle herself; her parents joined her–yes, both of them–at that point and walked her the rest of the way.  She says that’s how they do it in her home country. How interesting!

I almost lost it when Brian spoke his vows to Chayanne.  And, actually, she did lose it.  She used a few tissues under that veil. It was a sweet and tender moment.

I have done over 20 weddings at this point and pretty much every time, you will spot a groom do this.

Brian didn’t even wait until the ceremony was over! He was so excited to have that ring on his finger.

Can we just drool over this church one more time? I mean… let’s just thank Jesus this place exists. Take your time.

And check out that last picture. I tried a new thing. I kinda dig it. What do you think of the reflection? Distraction or kinda cool?

If I recall, Brian and Chayanne were the first ever of my couples who had a veil to lift before the first kiss. How classic!

I like to tell my couples that the best part of the day is right after they’ve been pronounced husband and wife and leave the ceremony.  There’s always so much joy, relief, and excitement all rolled into one!

And who doesn’t like a good wedding bell-ringing!?

I’m so thankful to Jesus above for stained glass windows and His sun shining through them. It. Was. Perfect. Brian and Chayanne’s post-ceremony snuggle time was short, sweet, and probably my favorite ever. Seriously. Look at them!

Brian and Chayanne had their reception at Griggs Boathouse.

And you know what? I just realized… I’ve totally neglected to tell you just how frigidly cold this day was.  Seriously.

It. Was. Freezing.

And these two were champs! We went down by the water to grab a few shots before we skedaddled into the boathouse. Can you even tell these two are fa-fa-fa-fa-freezing!?

Now, here’s the important stuff: The desserts.  Check out this cake by Short North Piece of Cake. It’s gorgeous and boy was it yummy!

Also, the groom’s dad totally made all of the macarons.  AND AND! (I’m getting excited here!) it was the first time he’d ever made them. Ever! Can you even believe that? Isn’t that a brave thing to do!? Make macarons for your son’s wedding when you’ve never made them before!?

Also, it was the first time I’d ever tasted one. De. Lish. Delicious. Yum. Yes. More, please.

I love these sweet moments from the first dances. And a daytime wedding at Griggs Boathouse means so. much. light. Yesss.

I’ll say it again: I love wedding cake cutting that involves sweet feeding moments. I’m all for silliness and being funny, don’t get me wrong, but there’s something special about a newlywed couple who serves one another sweetly. Amirite?

Chayanne’s brother gave the kindest, most loving speech at their reception. What a good brother! And Corey spoke of Brian’s character. I mean, I’m just going to say it: so. much. love.

Brian and Chayanne played a rousing shoe game after dinner. I love the reactions on their faces.  Brian was trying to peek during the game! And sometimes, you just know when you know, right?

This was truly a day for the books.

Brian and Chayanne,
Lean on the Lord and into one another as you transition into life together. The Lord will fight for you. And, I hope this goes without saying, The Hunk and I are here for you, cheering you on! We know that your commitment to one another will stand the test of time when you have Jesus in the center of your lives.
Love one another, even when you don’t feel like it.
So. Much. Love.
Rebecca

Vendors
Coordinator: Beth, Columbus Bride + Groom
Wedding Cake: Short North Piece of Cake
Reception DJ: Jillian, SONUS Entertainment
Hair and Makeup Artist: Kat, Always Elegant
Wedding Dress: SEW Amazing Bacolod
Groom’s Barong: Barongs R Us
Ceremony Music: Fermata Music
Event Decor: Advantage Events
Catering: Creative Cuisine Catering
Ceremony Location: Ohio Village

PS: Does anyone recognize this cutie? I shot her parents’ wedding! I’m continually baffled at how my friends’ kids can look like both of the parents. It’s miraculous!

The post Rustic Winter Wedding | Brian and Chayanne appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

I’ve known Michaela for most of her life; I first met her when her mother gave me piano lessons. Michaela was about 3 or 4. I’ll tell you about these two more. Just keep reading.

This wedding particularly geeked me out because they got married at Franklin First United Methodist Church. Why is that a big deal? Well, it’s a historical landmark: Johnny and June Cash got married there!

It was a perfect fall weekend in southern Kentucky. The Hunk and I stayed one exit south of the church, in Tennessee. We had a blast with the Air BnB hosts who loved hearing our stories of shooting weddings. Actually, I kinda want to go stay with them again. (Sidenote: The Hunk and I didn’t expect to be sharing their space; we expected to have our own place! It’s another funny story we got to add to our wedding shooting ventures! They have two Air BnBs: a room and a cottage. I recommend them!)

Anyway, the inside of the church was a treasure. The pipe organs! Johnny Cash memorabilia! Flowers! Windows through which to peek into the sanctuary. The Hunk and I could’ve spent about all day taking pictures of the details in this classic church.

Michaela’s ladies were seriously incredible! I love these moments with her mother, one of my favorite people in God’s whole created world, Melinda.  (A little more about Melinda? I first met Melinda as Mrs. Morgan. Think about that. Yep, she was my teacher! She was my high school math teacher; God’s providence placed her in my life at the single most pivotal stages of my life and I can’t imagine where I’d be had He just given me a teacher who didn’t have a heart for Jesus who would be a faithful woman of God to me right when I needed it most. I could write pages about this, but I’ll spare you, for now!)

Once she got her dress on, Michaela was hit by the reality of the moment. There were tears and there was laughter and then mamma tied the bow on the back of the dress. And then there was a moment when Michaela was overcome and missing her great-grandpa, the most beloved grandpa there ever was. It was a special moment.

Michaela’s ladies were so full of surprises.  They made her a book full of memories, including some from her bachelorette party and other sentimental moments. Again, there were tears and laughter!

Michaela’s details were classy and happy and had just the right amount of glimmer!

I may have a little bias, but I think Michaela makes an insanely gorgeous bride. Those flowers? Perfect! That smile? So genuine.

Michaela and Ben had their first look on the square facing the church. Loving that old, small town charm!

When the sweetest Grandma ever sees her granddaughter in her wedding dress, this is basically the sort of face she makes. And then she hugs her heartily! If you ever meet Melinda’s mother, you’ll know exactly where she learned to love others fiercely.

Those sweet bridesmaids strike again with another sweet surprise. This time, it’s literally sweet. Any sensible bride can’t walk down the aisle without enjoying a Coke with her gal pals!

These two ladies. I don’t even have words for their sweetness. Melinda and Kathy became friends around the time Melinda and her husband moved to pastor Kathy’s church.  They’ve been inseparable pretty much ever since. There’s not a duo more powerful than these two: God-fearing, genuinely loving, immensely helpful. I wish I could adopt them as official aunts, or something.

I love everything about this ceremony. Michaela’s grandpa began the ceremony; he said, “Michaela, you have never looked more beautiful than you do today.” So. Much. Love.

Michaela and Ben took communion together and their families served communion to their guests.

While guests took communion, Michaela and Ben shared some words with one another privately. We couldn’t hear what they shared with one another, but, again, there were definitely heartfelt words shared on both parts.

And, just like that, they are married!

We grabbed a few moments of them together before heading to the reception.

And, Michaela’s ladies surprised her again with a sweet video; Michaela and Ben worked together to serve children in Haiti.  Some of those they worked with and served sent their video greetings to begin their reception. Seriously: It was incredibly sweet. And then the best man and two maids of honor did their speech thang.

While people ate, The Hunk did his magic; he caught these fabulous ring shots.

So, they cut the cakes.

And did the dancing.

After everyone danced the night away, Michaela and Ben had this gorgeous sparkler exit, got in his truck, and drove away, husband and wife.

Just like John and Bethany, Michaela and Ben let me practice film-making on their big day.  I know I’m going to keep getting better and better at film-making! I’ve learned so much.

Michaela and Ben,
Grow with the Lord; let Him teach you as the two of you grow together in Him. And love one another, even when you don’t feel like it. And seek His wisdom, grace, and love.  Serve others but also serve one another.  I can’t wait to watch the two of you change the world for Christ.
So. Much. Love.
Rebecca

The post A Wedding like Johnny and June | Michaela and Ben appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

“I have three children–Jimmy, Sara, and my husband…”

“I’m not sure who is easir to raise–my children or my husband…”

There are far more memes which are far too vulgar to appear on my blog, but do you get my point?  I cringe when I see it and I hope to high heavens that I never do it.

Let’s stop it. Let’s stop husband-bashing.  Let’s stop equating our husbands with children needing to be raised or taught how to act.

Instead, let’s talk publicly about the positive things our husbands do for our families, in our homes, and in our lives.  I promise this: if you pray for God to help your heart to focus on the positive things your man brings to the table, it’ll become more and more difficult for you to see the negatives that are there.

When we make these sorts of comments, I wonder if:

• we’re forgetting that we have an equally long list of imperfections that we bring to the table.
• we think that being in a marriage is permission to mistreat the one we’ve pledged to love and respect forever.
• we’re considering that we can actually be in a relationship with someone and work out the problems without sharing them with the entire world.
• we’re relying on our mentors or accountability friends to help us continue to be the holy wives we’re called to be.

This is a total heart issue; it’s not something we should take lightly when we feel ourselves saying or thinking these things.

Ephesians 5.33 says, “…let the wife see that she respects her husband.” I know the “respect” word seems charged in some circles, but respecting someone doesn’t mean being a doormat to them; it means to hold them in high regard. Let’s lift up our husbands and talk about how amazing they are instead of bashing them or putting them down.

We can be better.

The post Let’s Do Better: “My man is a _______…” appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

 

 

 

 

 

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Yep, that was the start of their journey to their beautiful Pennsylvania Church Camp wedding in October. 

Now, you may be thinking, “Rebecca, that was ages ago.”

Yes, it was. I know. I’m working to get caught up on blogging, okay? Okay. Over this past school year, I shot four–yes FOUR–weddings. I loved every second of it, but I didn’t get to blog about it because, well, that pesky full-time job thing.  Thanks for your understanding.

On a side note, John and Bethany’s wedding was my first ever wedding in Pennsylvania, the fourth state added to the list of states where I’ve shot weddings. 

Mt. Olivet Campgrounds is where we host our scene.  This church camp is where John spent much of his childhood, creating memories. 

John was one of our students when The Hunk and I were pastoring on campus. He transferred back home to PA after a couple of years of college, finished up his degree there, and is now doing what he loves!  During the reception, his mother told us the story of John’s difficult decision to transfer; she’s so proud of him her face was beaming!

And ya’ know, I can’t help but love working with a groom who is absolutely enamored of his bride! The guys were fun, too.

While I already knew John, I loved getting to know Bethany as we prepared for her wedding day. She’s full of grace and poise. She laughs at John’s jokes and values who John truly is. In my opinion, this speaks volumes about who Bethany is as a woman of God and I just know she’s an amazing wife to John!

I’ve never met a groom who tells me that his favorite part of being engaged and wedding planning is choosing the flowers! John surprised Bethany with her bouquet; she had no idea what to expect. He definitely delivered! The details of their wedding were so perfectly reflective of John and Bethany as a couple: a combination of bright and understated.

While the groom calls Pennsylvania home, he roots for Ohio State hardcore.  The bride, however, joins me in the quest never to root for that red school. Along with most of the people in the area, she roots for Penn State. The guys decided to make her part of her worst nightmare; she had no clue… 

So, John and Bethany said, “I do” at John’s childhood church camp. The simplicity was perfect and God was there.

Mr. and Mrs. John and Bethany Crosson! They’re married!

We found the cutest meadow on the campgrounds to steal away and get John and Bethany together. I think these moments are some of my faves of the day.

John and Bethany had their reception at the Whispering Pines Estate, a gorgeous space with seriously sweet people who carted us around and generally took great care of us.

The groom’s sister took care of their cake. He only sort of knew what was coming…

Penn State colors! 

These two danced the night away with their friends and family. 

Finally, the four of us stole away just before The Hunk and I took off and grabbed this sweet snap.  I’ll never get tired of creating these sparkler writing pictures. Ever.

The most amazing part of this day had nothing to do with the bride or the groom or their friends or families. Instead, the real MVP is The Hunk. You see, I pulled out my back the night before the wedding. Like, big time. The Hunk did all of the bending down for me. He picked up and held the reflector when I asked and made me go to Walgreens to get IcyHot patches and bringing me more painkillers at the reception. When I met with John and Bethany to reveal their images, I told them and they were surprised!

And, on top of all of that, I surprised John and Bethany with the highlight video below. Bethany definitely cried when she watched it. What do you think? I’d like to start offering these to my future clients. 

John and Bethany, it was such a joy to be with you as you started your life together. I can not imagine a Pennsylvania church camp wedding as marvelous as yours.

Love one another, even when you don’t feel like it.

Love,
Rebecca

Vendors:

Wedding Ceremony | Mt. Olivet Campground
Reception Location | Whispering Pines
Wedding Dress | Twice Upscale Resale
Flowers | A and M Growers
Bridesmaids Dresses | Azazie

The post Pennsylvania Church Camp Wedding | John and Bethany appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

The Hunk and I met Ben when we were doing campus ministry and he was an undergrad at Ohio State.  Now, Ben’s all graduated and on to his future career as a math teacher.  Way to go, Ben! I’ve known you for years now.  I did your senior session and some Mother’s Day pics of you and your family.  I also shot your sister’s wedding! [Those pics were back in the day when filters were the name of the game.  I’m kinda glad that’s all over with!]

I’m so glad that I get to share these moments with the world! Wahoo!

Megan met Ben on a mission trip last summer.  “Where are his shoes?” was her first reaction when she met Ben.  And she remembers his good cooking on the trip.  I’ll have to ask more about that good cooking!

Megan graduated from Ohio University this year with a degree in Music Therapy.  She’s headed off to her first internship all the way in Maryland and will be there for something like six months. [You’re gonna rock it, girl! I just know it!]

Know what that means, though? These two are going to be away from one another for a good portion of their engagement.  Yikes!  Since The Hunk and I dated long distance, we know some of the tricks of this trade: video chat, cards, surprise visits.  Those are all good ideas.  Another good one: Write good old-fashioned letters to one another.  And read books together and discuss them on the phone.

You two will survive!

Megan, you’re marrying into an amazing family full of joy and love!

And Ben, I’ve gotta say: This little lady is so sweet!  I know I just met her, but I can already tell she’s selfless, considerate, loving, and enamored of you.

While you two are away from one another, I hope you’ll swoon over your favorite moments from your engagement session.  Here are some of my favorites. 🙂

The post Ben and Megan | Engaged! appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

The Hunk lay beside me, a furnace as usual, with all the warm pajamas and all the blankets. He was snuggled up, seeking warmth the late winter withheld.

Me? I was sweating through my sports bra and shorts, completely uncovered. The sheets beneath me were soaked.

“Something is wrong with me,” I said. For 10 straight days or so, my Fitbit had reported an increase in my resting heart rate. I was shedding weight–and hair. I could blame the hair loss on postpartum shedding and my newest little snuggly baby boy helped keep me warm. But I knew something was wrong.

“Go see the doctor,” The Hunk replied sleepily. Surely he was aware that my people just don’t go to the doctor. But he was right. So, sometime in the next few weeks, I finally got around to making an appointment.

My doctor, who I rarely saw, listened to my concerns carefully. But, since my heart rate was still in the “normal” range, she encouraged me to relax, that there was probably nothing wrong with me. Besides, she said, those fitness trackers aren’t always a reliable indicator of health. To be safe, she ordered an EKG and took a bit of blood.

For an EKG, you basically have to get completely naked so they can attach the sensors. So, I shed most of my clothes and they proceeded with the test. When it was over, I noticed that my clothes were soaked and cold. The freezing office had turned my sweat-soaked clothing cold, but I didn’t even notice how cold the office was. An absolute first.

And when she called me that next week, she admittedly ate her words, saying, “I’m going to have to take back what I said about the Fitbit.” My results: A normal EKG and blood work indicating hyperthyroidism.

I was given a referral to an endocrinologist and was prescribed a beta blocker. After further blood testing, I was diagnosed with Grave’s Disease.

If ever there was a disease that sounds scary, it’s Grave’s.

The endocrinologist explained treatment options–starting with medication. Since I was nursing my little snug, they encouraged me to call the pediatrician to be sure my medication wouldn’t pass onto him. After being cleared, I began Methimazole. And after a couple of appointments, we found the right dosage and stopped the beta blocker.

I quickly felt completely normal again. Aside from taking medicine every day, my life was completely normal.

Whew. Relief.

In my research, I learned that Grave’s Disease is caused when the body’s immune system identifies the thyroid as the enemy to the body, so it attacks the thyroid, much like it would attack a cold or anything that would harm the body.  This attack makes the thyroid overreact, which can result in a whole host of problems.

But during the appointments following, my endocrinologist began encouraging me to have my thyroid removed or take radioactive iodine so my thyroid would be killed. As a result, I’d have to take thyroid replacement medications for the rest of my life.  I had so many questions and began scouring the internet for answers. I found support groups, forums, and websites.  I found out that some people go into remission–about 30% or something.  I read about people who had symptoms so severe that they almost died. I read about people who were given the radioactive iodine only to have more problems come up following treatment. I found tons of answers to my immediate questions.

The question I couldn’t find an answer to: How does this recommended treatment–removing the thyroid–solve the problem? Sure, it’d get rid of the organ being victimized by Grave’s, but it wouldn’t end Grave’s itself.  I’m no medical professional, but none of this made sense to me.

Ugh.

One day, I was visiting with a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while. We were catching up and I shared with her about my health issues and frustrations accompanying them.

That’s when she recommended her functional medicine doctor. It sounded too crunchy for me. I’m no health nut. Granola? Not for me. I’m not part of that subculture of people who believe that eating healthy is actually a solution for illness.  Totally not who I am.

I continued to see my endocrinologist. Once I finished nursing my little snug, my doctor seemed to think that I would need to undergo the standard treatment–radioactive iodine–and that I’d probably be okay to have more children afterward. And I’d probably be fine after treatment. Every time he suggested this, I put it off, stating that I’m hoping to go into remission.

He didn’t relay any hope that there was any way I could go into remission.  It seemed the only interest he had was killing or removing my thyroid. In my gut, this did not make sense to me.

And it still doesn’t.

Anyway, I reached out to my friend again to ask for the contact information of her functional medicine doctor and I set up an appointment.  After a consultation, more blood tests, and sharing some of my other labs with him, Dr. Lewis suggested that I may have Leaky Gut Syndrome, which is when the layers of the small intestine separate more than they should, letting in things that it shouldn’t and then the immune system gets sort of paranoid and starts attacking other things, including parts of the body.  His explanation was longer than that, but that’s the gist.

The possible solution? Well, a few supplements, probiotics, and an extremely restrictive diet to help my body heal. We’ll also add probiotics and another gut treatment medicine while I am on this diet. After 4+ weeks of that diet, we start reimplementing things into my diet slowly–like, really slowly–to see what type of food irritates my intestines, encouraging a leaky gut.  During this process, my gut should return to normal permeability and my immune system should stop attacking my thyroid, which should lead to remission.  My doctor expects that I should be all better–in remission–in 90 days or so. NINETY DAYS! What!? That’s amazing!

Guys, this diet is extreme.  Look it up; it’s called the Autoimmune Protocol. Sometimes, it’s called the Paleo Autoimmune Protocol. At any rate, there aren’t very many foods that I like on the list.

And, starting tomorrow, I will be on this diet.  I can’t explain how nervous I am about it–how anxious I am and how much I’m dreading the boring food I’ll be eating. This weekend, I went on a farewell tour of my favorite foods–fried chicken, all the dairy, pasta, and other foods.  I felt like I was saying goodbye to my best friend–like Jes was moving to Japan again.

If you’ve read to this point, you are either nosy or you care about what’s going on in my life. Ha! Either is fine.

As all of this was happening, I chose not to tell many people about it.  At this stage, though, it’s going to be difficult to hide that something is going on because I’ll have to turn down almost every bit of food offered to me. Some of you might want to know how to support me.  Here are some things I’ve been thinking about, some of them may seem more direct than others:

• Bear with me as I basically can’t eat out right now–and when I can I’m going to be that girl who asks a million questions about the ingredients of the food and such. I’m also going to be that girl about whether or not I can eat at a certain restaurant.
• If you disagree with my choice, just keep your mouth closed.  I promise I’ll ask you for your opinion if I want it. In fact, I probably won’t bring it up much because some people interpret the bringing up of a topic as an invitation to share opinions.
• I’m not a fan of platitudes in many ways, but platitudes in this realm aren’t really needed.  Just give me a high five if you want to encourage me. “You’ve got this” is fine or “Wow, that does sound tough!” is acceptable.
• Be understanding if I don’t attend food-based gatherings.  This is going to be hard; being around food I can’t eat for social purposes will be nearly impossible for me.
• Whole Foods gift cards are acceptable!
• I’m sure many people have advice they’d like to share; I am covered in that area.  My friend Lisa is supportive and is following the protocol and has been for months and months. She knows how it works and is being WONDERFUL about giving advice and support and telling me what kind of chocolate I can eat! I am so thankful for her.
• Forgive me in advance if I’m never talking about anything but myself and this crazy diet.  There are so many new things I’m doing these days and it’s overwhelming as I make the transition. I’m going to have to learn how to turn off the self-centered self-care to a new level. I’ve always been kind of selfish, so there’s that to consider.
• Pray that this diet works. This is really the best way you can support me. I believe in prayer and would be honored to know that you are legitimately praying for me.  Just don’t tell me you’re praying for me if you’re not, cuz that’s not cool.

I’ll probably think of more ways people can support me. For now, here’s where to begin.

The post An Announcement: Backstory and then some appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.

“Just wait until college. That’s when the real hard work begins.”

“Just wait until you have a full-time job; it becomes so monotonous and annoying.”

“Just wait until you get married. You’ll see how hard it is!”

“Just wait until you’ve been married as long as I have; you won’t be excited to get home to your husband then!”

“Just wait until you have a kid; that’s when you really never get to sleep ever again!”

“Just wait until you have two kids.  One kid is a cakewalk compared to having two.”

If ever there was a way to strike unnecessary fear into the soul of a person, using the phrase “Just wait until” is it.  Let’s do better than this, fellow Christians.  I know we can do better.

My hunch: Any person who uses this phrase doesn’t even realize what the words are revealing about his or her own heart.

Let’s think about our motivation when we use these words. Allow me to ask a few rhetorical questions, will ya’?: When we use this phrase, what is our objective? Is it to tear down the other person? Is it to brag about how much more we deal with than the other person? Is it to give advice?

Friends, I’d like us to drop this phrase from our culture completely.  Consider this: Thessalonians 5.11 says “…encourage one another and build each other up…” (CSB).

I just want to really spell it out, here: This phrase used in this way is literally not an encouragement or help to anyone.  It is not a way to build up another person. It is exactly the opposite: A way of tearing others down–a way to deflate another person.

As Christians, we should be encouraging one another, cheering for one another. When we spit out these words under the guise of a warning or an attempt to advise another, we are not encouraging one another.

We. Just. Aren’t.

And consider this: In the third chapter of James, he says that the tongue “is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” used to “bless our Lord and Father” and “curse people who are made in God’s likeness” (James 3.8-9 CSB).

Fellow Christians, when we use this phrase in this manner, we are being a poison to the hearer.

Sheesh, Rebecca, that seems harsh.

Remember? I’m speaking to myself, too.

We are essentially telling others to trade the treasuring of this moment to the fearing of the future, to expect to be married to someone for decades without really even enjoying them, to view children as merely a nuisance, to refuse to see opportunities as gifts from God himself, to dread the upcoming stage of life instead of embracing it and leaning into Jesus Christ who has saved us from evil.

I don’t want this type of speaking to be my legacy.

I have a sneaking suspicion you don’t either.

Sistas, hear me!

Now, let me speak to my Christian Sisters for a sec, mmk?

I truly believe that, at every stage of life, there is someone younger than us who can learn from us.  We can teach our younger siblings (if we have any) just about anything when we’re kids; we can tutor elementary students when we’re in high school; we can lead outreach to high school students when we’re in college; we can minister to college students once we’ve graduated; we can coach engaged couples once we’re married; we can encourage newlyweds and new mothers after we’ve gone ahead of them and had these experiences.  I, myself, have participated in almost all of these endeavors and count myself blessed to have been mentored by sweet Christian women who I admire and aspire to emulate to this day. And I have a mentor who I meet with regularly who encourages me to see how Jesus is pushing me and growing me, even when I just want to vent and complain.

So, let’s be sure that we’re encouraging younger women properly–biblically. Titus chapter two says that older women (read: not just old ladies, here, but ladies who are older than some other woman, which is pretty much all of us) “are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered” (Titus 2.3-5 CSB).

Instead of teaching younger women to dread the challenges that can come with being part of a marriage, let’s encourage them to see the gift that a husband is and the joy that is experienced in treasuring that man exclusively for decades until death does them part.

Let’s encourage younger women to find professions that will not just provide the monetary needs of life, but help them serve the Lord–whether it’s in the work itself or in the ways she gets to minister to coworkers or even the ways she grows and becomes stronger in the faith through challenges that come with the job.

Let’s encourage younger women to see their children–current or future–as gifts instead of sleep-stealers or nuisances who ruin everything. And let’s encourage them to teach their children to love Jesus while we’re at it.

Let’s encourage women to experience the joy of giving their child one or more siblings, if they so choose, instead of selling a dooms-day gospel that everything will be terrible if they add a second child to the mix.

Final Thoughts

I’m sure there’s an equivalent message for men to encourage one another, too, but I am not in touch with how men speak to one another.  Ya’ know, being a woman.

I exhort you, fellow Christians, to join me and consider making these changes–and changes like them–to interactions with other believers:

“Just wait until college. That’s when the real hard work begins.”

College is a great time full of challenges and hard work. Just like any stage of life, make sure that your pursuit of Jesus continues during those years.”

“Just wait until you have a full-time job; it becomes so monotonous and annoying.”

“Yeah, I’ve been working for 12 years; I’ve been fortunate to always have a job that God uses to provide what I need and then some.  It’s important to be sure to find something you love doing and bring Jesus to work with you every day.”

“Just wait until you get married. You’ll see how hard it is!”

“Marriage is an unbelievable journey. It’s difficult to describe and, if you find a man who loves Jesus more than he loves you but loves you immensely in God-honoring ways, you should definitely take the opportunity to love and serve that man for the rest of your life!”

“Just wait until you’ve been married as long as I have; you won’t be excited to get home to your husband then!”

“Oh, you’re a newlywed and can’t wait to go home after work to see your husband? That’s so sweet and wonderful!  Keep loving him well and keep putting Christ at the center of your marriage.  A good marriage is a major blessing.”

“Just wait until you have a kid; that’s when you really never get to sleep ever again!”

“I really love my baby and I try to enjoy every moment that I can. I remember how frequently I learned more about God’s love for us when my baby was teensy weensy.”

“Just wait until you have two kids.  One kid is a cakewalk compared to having two.” 

Ha, I suggest we never say anything to anyone about having more children. But if they are close friends or the topic is at hand, you might get away with something like this, “There was a learning curve for us when we brought home baby number two, but there were so many sweet moments between my kiddos in those early days and I am glad I chose to focus on those when they were happening. Those moments were definitely gifts from God.”

Because when we use our words for God’s Good, The Gospel is strengthened.

The post Let’s do better: “Just wait until…” appeared first on Rejoicing Rebecca.