A woman’s husband dies, leaving her with a mountain of debt. And now, the creditors are demanding payment. All she has is one small jar of oil. In her desperation she comes to Elisha for help.

Elisha tells her to borrow from her neighbors as many jars as she can, and then adds, “not just a few.” With the only jar of oil she has, she begins to pour oil into each borrowed jar. Miraculously, the supply of oil doesn’t stop until the widow runs out of jars. I am convinced, that the oil would have continued to flow as long as she had enough jars.

We’re the ones who limit how much of God’s provision and presence we experience. We’re thinking in terms of just “a few jars,” allowing our finite minds to limit what God wants to do.

What do you have in your hand right now? If what you have is not enough for what you need, then give God what you have and watch Him miraculously provide what you need.

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The same work of the Holy Spirit that is involved at salvation – the miracle of joining us to Jesus –  is the same miraculous work of the Spirit that joins a man and woman in holy matrimony. It’s just that holy!

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The bell in a church tower is rung by pulling a rope. After the person lets go of the rope the sounds of the bell continue to ring. As time passes the bell rings slower and slower until the sound finally stops.

When we choose to forgive we are taking our hands off the rope. In the same way the sounds of the bell continue to ring, the memories of the offense continue to repeat.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we forget.

If we can leave our hands off the rope and resist the urge to once again pull on the offense of the past, just like the sounds of the bell, the feelings will slowly fade until sound of anger is silenced.

[Ephesians 4:32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

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Healthy relationships are governed by the law of love. Three primary characteristics of love are acceptance, understanding and commitment. The opposite of these are judgment, rejection and manipulation.

Conditionally love offers acceptance based on behavior. For example, if people don’t behave the way we expect, then conditional love reacts with some form of rejection. Our hope is that the desire for our acceptance is strong enough for them to change their behavior. This is actually a subtle form of manipulation.

Let’s love those in our lives unconditionally, accepting them even when they don’t meet our expectations.

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Good communication in marriage is a skill that can be learned. How to listen is a huge first step in developing healthy communication in your relationships. Even more so, learning what to listen for is a greater key.

David Schwartz says, “Big people monopolize the listening. Small people monopolize the talking.”

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Do you often find the need to explain or defend yourself? When around this friend, do you find yourself  feeling guilty for no apparent reason? Do you pretend to agree and go along with things you don’t want to do in order to keep peace? Are you finding yourself isolated from your friends and family in order to maintain the friendship? When you are around this specific person, do you often feel obligated?

We can either be controlled by others or captured by Christ. Knowing that we are accepted by God enables us to find our identity in His love and not the acceptance of others. When we are secure in God’s acceptance we are able to find the confidence to not only recognize an unhealthy relationship, but to break free from its control.

[Romans 15:7] …….just as Christ ACCEPTED you, in order to bring praise to God.

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We approve or disapprove of “things” (behavior, actions, and lifestyles) we accept “people”. One doesn’t cancel the other. Having healthy relationships requires accepting others even if there are things about them we don’t approve or even like.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Overlook an offense and cement a friendship; fasten on to every little  annoyance and — good-bye, friends and hello loneliness!”

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Judgment blinds. It affects our ability to accurately see the people around us. Unfortunately, a common definition of judgment is the simple act of pointing out the wrong doing of another.

In truth, judgment is not the recognition of WHAT has been done, but rather assuming we know WHY it was done. Judgment assumes we know someone’s motive behind their actions. Once that happens we can’t help but sentence them to live out the rest of their days within the prison of their worst moments.  It’s this attitude of judgment that gives us the justification of “freeze framing” someone in their past, blinded to any changes that God may do in them.

Getting rid of our judgment is accepting the fact that only God knows what’s in a person’s heart. Once we remove the “splinter” of judgment we’re able to view others in the light of GOD’S grace. This not only opens their lives to the reality of His mercy but our lives as we

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In the spring of 1894, the Baltimore Orioles came to Boston to play a routine baseball game. But what happened that day was anything but routine. The Orioles’ John McGraw got into a fight with the Boston third baseman. Within minutes all the players from both teams had joined in the brawl. The warfare quickly spread to the grandstands. Among the fans the conflict went from bad to worse. Someone set fire to the stands and the entire ballpark burned to the ground. Not only that, but the fire spread to 107 other Boston buildings as well.

Proverbs 22:24 says, “Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious— don’t get infected.” There are folks that are constantly critical and angry most of the time. Not only are they exhausting to be around, but you will find yourself being infected by their anger.

2. Those who often gossip about others – Unhealthy relationships can also be characterized by those who have a habit of gossiping about others. Something I have realized is that folks, who gossip to me about others, are probably gossiping about me to others. John Maxwell says, “You never display your character more clearly than when you speak about the character of others.”

Continue to develop and nurture friendships with those you hear speaking words of encouragement about others.

3. Those who remind you of your past failures – Another key characteristic of unhealthy relationships are those who attempt to keep you in the past. When people remind you of your failures, it is an attempt to keep the “upper hand” in the relationship. People do this because of their own insecurities.

You’re not going to change one single whisper that’s taken place in the yesterdays of your life! Regardless of your past, tomorrow is a clean slate! God does not oversee or manage your past. God has no plans or designs for your yesterdays. But, He is actively designing your future. He does have a purpose for your tomorrows. Surround yourself with those who remind you of God’s purpose for your life.

4. Those who manipulate – Webster’s definition of manipulation is, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.” The essence of manipulation is to attempt to get people to do what you want, regardless if it’s in their best interest.

Being controlled and manipulated is a horrible feeling. It strips away your fundamental sense of value and worth. Those who attempt to manipulate you are making a statement of your worth, as well as the value they place on your relationship.

Making friends that bring you life

If you place a hot poker near the heat of a fire, it too becomes hot. To succeed in relationships we need to follow the same principle. Surround yourself with great men and women. Remove your unhealthy relationships and begin to foster the type of friendships that empower your life. True friendship doesn’t happen by coming into a relationship thinking about what you’re going to get – you will only “get” disappointment. Great relationships are only created by giving!

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When discussing the sexual differences in men and women, many couples might throw up their hands in frustration. As Christians we believe our differences can cause us to lift up our hands in praise. God’s created differences between men and women are nothing short of holy. Differences bring balance, fullness, and completion to a marriage. We each have something to teach; we each have something to learn.

In the movie Rocky, the not-so-articulate boxer played by Sylvester Stallone made a profound observation about his girlfriend, Adrian. “She’s got gaps; I got gaps. Together we fill gaps.” Each spouse fills the other’s gaps.

In looking at the sexual differences in men and women, we suggest you see women like water and men like ice cubes. Men and women are made from the same substance but are different in form. Men like an ice cube, tend to be hard, fixed and concentrated. Women, like water are more lucid and flowing, whether in their relationships or in their verbal communication. Sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is much like putting an ice cube in water. The man comes into the women hard and separate from her, but as they linger in intimate touch, they melt together in oneness. The man loses his hard edge and the woman is filled up by him. As they melt together in sexual love their differences dissolve.

She’s the author of Creative Counterpart, Calm My Anxious Heart, and The Blessings Book. Linda and her husband Jody lived in Europe and Asia for 17 years training Christian leaders in closed countries with Biblical Education by Extension, During this time, Linda traveled extensively in Romania, Russia, Hungary, Poland and Asia.
Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment

Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex
The Blessing Book: When They Walk Through the Valley of Weeping, It Will Become a Place of Refreshing Springs. Psalms 84:6

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