In recent years, we’ve all heard a lot of references to “earning a seat at the table” (see my article: “If You’re Not at the Table, You’re on the Menu!”).  I would submit that where you’re sitting at the table also matters a great deal on your ability to build, nurture and sustain strategic relationships.  Working with several global sales organizations recently, it seems that beyond getting your foot in the door to find the room with the table, earning the right to stay there, being invited back, and elevating your position at the table continue to be a challenge for many.

If you aspire to sit next to an economic buyer – a role often reserved for partners and advisors – vs. across from one as a typical vendor, you’ll need a different mindset, toolset, and roadmap. 

Here are five best practices most of my senior executive clients consistently look for when they filter the transactional vendors from the transformational partners and advisors:

1. Passion must be your fuel.  It’s been said that eyes are the portal to the soul.  You must have passion for your organization, products, services, and most importantly, the outcome (read: business results) you create for your clients.  You must be passionate about yourself, your abilities, your organization’s capabilities, and how you bridge relationship creation to relationship capitalization – see next article on The Path to Strategic Relationships.

2.  Advocacy must be your flag.  “We won’t let our organization, let you down,” is a memorable phrase one executive recalls in his conversation with a vendor.  You must change your lens to consistently evaluate the 3 constants: change, principles, and choices for your clients.  You must become their advocate, carry their banner in your organization, and ensure that the rate of change external remains consistent with the rate of change internally – otherwise, the end will be near for you and your client.  You must also become an advocate for your organization in the key insights you bring back from the edge of where business happens.  Think of yourself as a signal scout for the organization.

3. Alignment must be your arrow.  Due diligence must become the foundation upon which you build strategic relationships.  Do your homework.  If you can find the answers in advance, don’t ask the questions.  Change the framework to design the conversation and align it with your offering.  Prove your strategic relationship-worthiness with equal business stature.  Demonstrate how other economic buyers are better off because they work with you.  Identify trends and align disruptions for your economic buyers and help identify, create, and anticipate needs – see “iTunification” of Your Capabilities chapter in my new book: Return on Impact – Leadership Strategies for the Age of Connected Relationships (ASAE, 2012).

4. Execution must be your resolve.  Land the plane, dock the boat, create the will in the organization to make the impossible, possible.  Strategic relationships talk through obstacles to execution and find ways to go over, under, or through them – together.  Beyond innovative strategies, pave a path to get there through creative implementation.  Earn the respect and support of champions within and external to your organization.  Fight for resources.  Fight for the strategic relationships you deeply believe in.

5. Most importantly and the fundamental underlying necessity is that you must believe!  There is a crisis of belief in our business community today.  You must believe – at a cellular level – that you can help clients; that you bring a unique solution, that you can make a difference, and that they will be dramatically better off because of you.  Strategic relationships want to believe you today, and believe in you as you perform, execute, and deliver results.  Never forget that performance trumps all.

How will you earn the seat next to and not just the one across from your strategic relationship aspirations?

If you’ve ever heard me speak, I often talk about the three types of relationships we must develop in an effort to both enhance the quality and the diversity in our portfolio of relationships: personal, functional and strategic.

• Personal relationships are often the easiest because they’re discretionary yet seldom relevant to our professional lives.  These are poker and golf buddies, girlfriends, PTA or soccer parents.
• Functional relationships are the ones we work with because we have to; let’s be honest, some of our clients and colleagues.  They may not be discretionary as we often don’t or can’t pick who we work with, but they’re still safe because of the context of the relationship.  They’re focused on efficiency and effectiveness; in essence, our ability to get things done.
• Most people get the first two and they have plenty of the first two.  It’s the last one they miss out on, which are our strategic relationships.  By definition, they elevate our thinking, our perspective, our beliefs in our selves, and our resolve to reach above and beyond our perceived limitations.  They possess a certain future horizon context about them, as they’ve seen the movie and have been in the pitfalls we’re headed for.

So how do you get there?  How do you develop and nurture the right relationships along a continuum to elevate them above the others?  How do you become a strategic relationship to others?  I’ve identified five stages of relationship development in bridging relationship creation to relationship capitalization:

• Initiating – 2^nd Interaction – Nurturing – Sustaining and Capitalizing

Along the way, six stages will force you to consistently, intently, and strategically exchange Relationship Currency®, earn Reputation Capital®, and develop your Professional Net Worth®:

1. Trust-Centric Introductions – Dialing for dollars is a losing proposition.  Relationships are getting more sophisticated, better protected, and constantly pressured for efficiency and effectiveness.  By far the best way to spark the potential for a strategic relationship is through trust-centric introductions.  When trusted and valued relationships introduce you, you immediately benefit from credibility by association.  Chose your sources of access wisely for if they dilute their credibility, so will be limited your options in disengaging yourself from that association.

 2. Repeat Confidence – Although you may have gained access through confidence in others, most relationships test one another very early on.  When you perform, deliver on your commitments, demonstrate not just competence (table stakes) but a genuine caring, you earn repeat confidence.  The more impactful the test, the higher the elevation of your relationship development slope.

3. Unquestionable Integrity – In our current low-trust environment, you or your organization is surely to slip up, make a mistake, or suffer from a poor judgment.  It doesn’t matter that you failed – two points which matter are:

a.      Whether the failure was blameworthy or praiseworthy – see Failing Intently chapter in my new book Return on Impact: Leadership Strategies for the Age of Connected Relationships (ASAE, 2012) and reference to professor Amy Edmondson at Harvard Business School.

b.     What you and your organization chose to do after the failure.  To error is human.  What elevate relationships to a strategic level are the decisions you make to learn from the failure and move the relationship onward and upward.  Humility and open, candid apologies go a long way.  Time also becomes an incredible healer of relationship wounds.

4. Custodial Pride – If you have small children, you certainly understand the overwhelming feeling of paternal pride when they accomplish milestones in their growth; straight As on the last report card, the wining goal at the last soccer game, the blue ribbon at the last spelling bee.  Business relationships likewise, reach a pivotal point in their development when one or both parties develop a sense of custodial pride in working, going to market, referring, jointly developing, collaborating, creating, integrating, or otherwise being associated with one another.

5. Personal Passion – An amplified business relationship benefits from an innate sense of passion about the respective success of both parties.  You’re no longer a logo, a purchase order, or a project.  You’ve become emotionally engaged around the jointly desired outcome of your relationship.  For the first time, you get the sense that through the good, the bad, and even the ugly scenarios, you’re considerably better off together than you are apart.  Laymen’s term for this may be “ying & yang,” or more formal collaborative structures such as joint ventures or a merger or acquisition event.

6. Unsolicited Vested Interest – The pinnacle stage in your path to developing a lasting and highly impactful strategic relationship is one of unsolicited vested interest.  When the other party goes out of their way to introduce you into highly desirable or difficult to penetrate circles of influence; when they invite you to private events with exponentially higher profile attendees, when they share ultra confidential insights, when they invite you into their inner circle, these are all evidence of an unsolicited vested interest in both you personally as well as your professional success.

By the way, your performance, execution and results will accelerate your accent along this path, and lack there of will surely dilute your credibility, priority, and relevance.  Make no mistake about it: performance trumps all.  You have to be competent, capable and your value-delivered must match the value-promised.

How will you elevate your most valuable relationships from function and often, transactional today, to strategic and truly transformational over the next year, decade, or lifetime?  Join us for the upcoming IMPACT Webinar Series to learn more…

The following is an excerpt from my newly released book: Return on Impact—Leadership Strategies for the Age of Connected Relationships(ASAE, 2012)

Visionary organizations are constantly scanning the horizon of our rap­idly evolving digital world in search of unique approaches that generate value for members, customers, partners, and shareholders. The choicest approach engages a broad base of constituents, better integrates and more effectively manages the value chain, and puts the member or customer at the center of decisions and actions. The resulting loyalty, revenue and margin growth, and agility can uniquely advance an industry, member organizations, and customers’ perceived value.

Visionary organizations are redefining the value chain in the age of con­nected relationships, and visionary leaders are embracing this perspective of the market and capitalizing on these changes to lead differently.

Today’s customers are a new breed, dictating universal terms in the dynamic between buyers and sellers not only for products and services but also for ideas, perspectives, and advocacy, and they are empowering themselves in an explosion of mobile and social interaction.

Technology and transpar­ency are enabling decision-making processes for consumers, members, employees, partners, and shareholders, who expect and often demand to connect with organizations whenever they want and on the device of their choosing. They are wireless, mobile, sensor-equipped, plugged-in, and far more intelligent and empowered than ever before. As customers, they want a consistent experience in all channels—physical, digital, and mobile. They read and believe others’ comments about organizations, products, services, and experiences more than they believe marketing or advertising. They compare notes and instantly share personal experi­ences. They champion a brand or sully a reputation with one click. The intelligence and connections available to customers are forever changing the business of designing, creating, selling, and delivering information, products, and services. Whether as members or customers, consumers have soaring expectations.

The disruptive forces of social-media–savvy consumers are rippling through to organizations and across entire industries, affecting the fun­damental need for credible content and interaction within a community of like-minded individuals working toward a common mission and vision or against an enemy, such as legislation.

So what do you need to know to adapt?

1. At the individual member or customer level, it’s not just about the connected consumers’ driving the “iTunification” of business; the networked workforce is collaborating in new ways both inside and outside organizations. Empowered citizens are digitally engaged and networked, making their voices and votes count on Wall Street, in ballots, with proxies, and on Twitter.

One idea: really focus on empowering the customer-facing part of the organization to exceed at each and every experience!

2. At the organizational level, business and revenue models must evolve to capture value across multiple channels, products, services, members, and customers. Optimized digital operations transform how products and services are created, marketed, sold, delivered, and maintained after initial acquisition. A connected organization must evolve in its operating structure and people dynamics.

One idea: become an expert in all things you customer – their likes, dislikes, preferences, challenges, opportunities, competitive evaluations, why and how they make decisions for or against your brand, people, ideas, products, and services?

3. At the industry level, value is migrating along the value chain, often moving closer to the end consumer of the information, product, or ser­vice. Changing roles and relationships of industry players are redefining value chains, and new industry entrants are disrupting broader systems as they capture significant value with far greater agility than historically dominant players.

One idea: planning is extrapolation of the present; strategy is a vision of the future with a path to get you there.  What’s the vision (not the wall-art type) of where you really want to see the organization in the future?  Stop doing stale strategic planning sessions with grandiose statements that don’t mean anything.  Focus on creative implementation – the path!

Next month, I’ll share why there are no shortcuts!  In the interim, join us for the IMPACT webinar series starting on Feb. 24^th with my guest, KiKi L’Italien as we’ll discuss  “iTunification” of Your Capabilities.  The Return on Impact book is available in hard copy through Amazon or ASAE, or via 8 CD Audiobook directly from Nour Group.

I was delighted to speak this past week on Relationship Economics at the HP Global Partner Conference where Meg Whitman and her senior leadership took the company out of the headlines for the dramas of the past, and absolutely put it back into the headlines for technology leadership, strong portfolio of solutions, and a commitment to be once again, a dependable, reliable, steady partner for the channel community.  See Meg’s keynote HERE.

The Nour kids have been attending an amazing local camp by the Museum of Design Atlanta to design and build robots from LEGOs.  The two of them can’t stop talking about it and having visited their final creations, it reminded me of the child-like wonder in all of us.  My question of you is when do we lose that?  Why do we lose that?  How can we get it back?  And most importantly, how can we infuse it in our purpose, work, and relationships in 2012?

Here are 3 ideas:

1. Get or find passion in what you’re doing: If you don’t have it today, make it your mission in 2012 to find it.  Really find it, ideally within the team and organization you’re in right now.  If not, find it somewhere else, because I don’t believe passion is something you can’t teach, learn, or live without – for very long!  Because so much of our waking hours is spent at work, around work, doing work, thinking about work, if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, it’s going to be very difficult for you to do your best, excel at it, advance in it, elevate yourself above the noise about it, differentiate yourself from others doing it, or see the bigger purpose from it.

2. Do it with people you respect, like, trust, or otherwise get enjoyment from being around: I’ve spent the last decade becoming a student of business relationships.  If no one else will tell you this, let me say it – mean people suck, downers will suck every ounce of energy out of you, and the naysayers are just downright depressing to be around!  Those who constantly fire hose great ideas, have never had a decent idea of their own.  Surround yourself with fun, engaging, innovative, upbeat people who will push you to think, grow, try new ideas, be bold, fail, try again, help pick you up when you fall down, cheer you up, and cheer you on.  You may not always like each other or agree on everything.  But build in your relationships with others and demand from them respect, trust, and candor.

3. Find a bigger purpose: Most of us are so buried in the minutia of the day that we lose sight of our “WHYs!”  Why are you doing this project, why are you a part of this team, why are you chasing this deal, why are you reaching out to this new market, why do you do what you do?  Don’t give me textbook answers like I’m trying to make money and pay my bills – there are a million ways you can do that.  Why THIS job, company, role, realm of responsibilities?  How are you growing, learning, becoming a better manager, leader, human being?  Particularly when it comes to your portfolio of relationships, people you CHOSE to invest in will determine your direction and ultimately define your destination.  So chose them wisely, invest in them intently, and bridge your relationship creation efforts to relationship capitalization to reach your purpose!

In 2012, I’m setting aside an hour a day to play!  It can be board or online games with my kids, it can be gaming sites I find online, or gaming applications I read about and explore online.  Who has time, right?  I’d submit, you can’t afford NOT to regain that child-like wonder and what better ways to grow – personally and professionally, than to force yourself to become curious!

Let me know your thoughts?  Make it a great week – David

I have a mentor who continues to drive into me the power of language. When used effectively it is incredibly impactful. So, I’m reading more often, writing more often, listening and watching how others use language to engage and influence. What I’ve noticed is that as a society, we also use a lot of catchphrases. If you say any of these, please stop in 2012 – appealing to your logical self interest next to each one:

1. “Let’s Partner!” – What does that mean really? Instead ask for sample partnerships which have produced great results for both sides and course a map to make them successful because they work with you!

2. “I meant to…” – And then what happened? Did a better offer or a more interesting person, project, email come across your radar and you completely forgot about them? Be more intentional in the tasks and relationships you focus on and choose to invest in, in 2012.

3. “I’m sorry you feel that way…” – No you don’t. If you feel sorry, just apologize and quit sugar coating it.  Not enough candor in our business relationships.  We tell people what they want to hear vs. what they need to hear.  I’d rather you tell me how you really feel in 2012 as I suspect, so do a lot of others!

4. “I’m not here to make friends…” – I’ve never seen this actually help the person saying it!  You may not care if they like you, but you’ll need them to respect you if you want them to buy from you; not just products or services, but your ideas, projects, and priorities in 2012!

5. “It’s a win-win…” – Like a “merger of equals,” there is no such thing; they hear “I’m going to win, you’ll lose, but you won’t know it until I’m long gone, when you’ll lose again!” Stop already.  Focus on gaining and delivering conceptual agreement on objectives, measures and value to both sides!

6. “Here is what you should do…” – Unsolicited advice is just that – unsolicited.  Many people don’t want you to fix it or tell them how to fix it.  They just want you to listen. Try listening more than you speak in 2012!

7. “Cheers, ciao, adiós,…” - You’re not British, Italian, or Spanish – it’s English. “Goodbye, see you soon, bye for now” all suffice for US-based professional communications.  As my good friend and Emory classmate, David Heltebran pointed out, it is appropriate in your communication if you’re working with colleagues or partners in those countries as it demonstrates your flexibility or willingness to learn, grow and expand your horizons.

8. “I’m a good multitasker…” – No you really aren’t. None of us are and when I hear you typing on the other side of our call, you’re clearly NOT listening to me!  Do less with fewer people but become more centered, intentional, and focused in your interactions with them in 2012.

9. “You’re Wrong!” – This is a personal challenge for me (since I’m so shy and quiet!!). Healthy disagreements make you interesting to debate. Dismissing others entirely make you look arrogant and pompous!  Even though you may be right, the way you engage, challenge, or try to influence them to think differently (vs. trying to persuade them!) will make a huge difference in 2012.

10. “I know. That’s like when I…” – When others are telling their story, don’t try to outdo them. One-man-up-ship is so 1980s and it’s unbecoming, as is interrupting others!  In 2012, focus on collecting great stories told by others vs. constantly being the life of the party with your stories!

Bonus: “But, however,…” – Nothing good ever comes after but and however is a polite way of saying but! Stop it!

Happy New Year,
David

p.s. I’m launching 5 unique channels to engage, influence, and sometimes, even provoke you!  In the process, I hope to add value in how you think about and choose to invest in your most valuable, strategic relationships – on or offline in 2012.  Learn more and subscribe HERE.

I don’t know about your business, but mine tends to slow down twice a year: mid year, around the 4th of July holiday and right about now – as most of the business winds down for the Christmas holidays.  So, like many people I take some time off to spend with my family.  Many call that work-life balance; I just need that intentional time to really disengage from work and it helps me think about, focus on, prioritize, pay attention to all these other things that are equally important in my life.

A few years ago, I also blocked off time on the calendar for this type of forced introspection.  I clear off my desk, throw out all of those gilt-written to-do lists that I didn’t get to, throw out boxes of recycled newspapers and magazines, and really try to clean up and clear out my work area.  I review my notes throughout the year, client meetings, phone conversations, opportunities won and lost.  Relationships I’ve touched and those who impacted me more than a cordial interaction.  Think of this as spring cleaning for your brain and I’d submit it’s an essential part of your personal and professional growth – if you don’t ever clean anything out, how will you make room for more ideas, more key initiatives, and just as important, more strategic relationships.

So, use some time during this holiday season to really think about your strategic relationships this past year.  Where did you invest time and effort?  Whom did you neglect?  Where do you need to prioritize your strategic relationship investments in 2012?  Make an intentional list of the type of relationship-builder you want to become vs. just that you want to achieve and really work on those attributes, those relationships, those friendship that will help you grow in the New Year.

After all, holidays are for more than just gift giving.  It’s a great time for gift receiving – in forms of introspection that will help you grow, personally and professionally.  Talk about a gift that keeps on giving.

Happy Holidays,
David

p.s.

If you haven’t yet, check out these channels to subscribe to various insights from our team in 2012…

I’m working with a client who is the CEO of a 2,000+ employee organization on helping him, his senior leadership team and his board become more customer / member-centric (central theme of the newly released Return on Impact book).  They’re in the hospitality industry and as I travel with this CEO and observe his behavior, it’s clear one of the fundamental assets which has made him very successful over the years.

Beyond the entrepreneurial drive, passion for the business, and a great judge of quality talent, he is meticulous about the details.  He is very astute at quickly soaking in all of his surroundings and methodically comparing and contrasting what he experiences with his expectations.  He is a life-long learner, always looking to create an edge in the experiences he creates for his guests vs. the competitive establishments, and not much goes by him without notice.

Your relationships require the same due diligence and attention to details.  Details about an individual become the fabric or the texture of the relationship.  Their likes, dislikes, tastes, preferences, communication styles, and expectations are all important details that you must capture, remember, repeat, and align over time to elevate the relationship from the mundane and the bland, to the extraordinary, memorable, and impactful.

In 2012, focus on fewer but richer relationships that have the detailed texture.  They’ll become a much stronger asset to you in time of need vs. the superficial ones many people develop in passing.  Fewer, more impactful relationships are candid.  They will tell you what you need to hear vs. what you want to hear.  They’ll help you grow personally and professionally.  They’ll introduce you to other strategic relationships which will elevate your perspective, thinking, or insights about a challenge or a market opportunity.  Real relationships will open up doors to new possibilities.

But none of that is possible, if you don’t pay attention to the details.  The relationships devils really are in the details.

Make it a great week,
David

If you’re attending the ASAE Tech Conference next week in DC, please come by and say hello.  Here is also a great offer from PBD Worldwide and Association Press on the new book, Return on Impact: Leadership Strategies for the Age of Connected Relationships (ASAE, 2012).