This is a great story of conversion told by Christine. She is a college student at UCSD, majoring in Literatures in English. She is a Vision Team Leader for InterVarsity’s international chapter (International Christian Fellowship).

Grace and I first met through UCSD’s language exchange program in Fall of 2012. Our first conversation was light and simple, but things changed when she asked me about what I did for fun. I told her that I like to sing at my church on Sunday mornings, and surprisingly, she asked if she could join me. Her intrigue about church surprised me, and I responded with excitement! She then asked me what else she could do in San Diego to have fun while improving her English. I recommended that she come to International Christian Fellowship (ICF) so that she could meet both American and international students who would become good potential friends for her. Immediately, her eyes widened, and she told me that two other people had told her about ICF that week! This seemed like perfect orchestration. From that moment on, I asked God to show Himself to be real to Grace.

The next week, I asked Grace if she would like to do personal bible studies with me. She responded with much appreciation and told me she felt special that I would teach her more about Jesus. She wanted to know He was like and how she could know that He was real. I was fired up for the bible studies and thought we would meet on a weekly basis. Yes, the sessions were productive and Grace got to know more about God, but because of miscommunication, we only met two times in that month. I felt very disappointed in myself because I thought I was doing a bad job as a leader. My plan was to invest as much as I could into Grace before the November Fall Retreat so that she could have a fuller understanding of God in the retreat. Since this didn’t happen, I decided to let go of my plans and I said, “You can do anything God. If you would, awaken inside her soul that you are real!”

In the meantime, I had two significant moments of encounters regarding Jesus with Grace before the retreat. In one hiking trip, I intentionally shared with Grace some of my past shame so that she could see how Jesus redeemed those negative areas of my life. She repeatedly said she appreciated my vulnerability. Another moment was in an ICF meeting where we were discussing lying being a sin. She asked with much concern, “Is all lying a sin? What if it’s a white lie?” Recognizing that she seemed very sensitive, I explained sin to be a condition of sickness and that God can help to heal us. I don’t know how much of this she actually heard, but she started tearing up, so I took her outside as she poured out her heart to me. Since her fears and her guilt seemed to consume her, I started praying for her. Her crying progressed to weeping and then came to a sudden halt. It was as if her cries ran off a cliff and entered into silence. I looked into her face and saw peace. She thanked me over and over again, and I was glad that Jesus calmed her storm.

At Fall Retreat, I decided not to put God in a box and asked Him to move in whatever way He liked in the international students’ hearts. I said, “God, you can help them to see you whenever you like. I’d like it to be today, but if that’s not your timing, I just want them to love you more than they did yesterday.” When the time came for people to accept Jesus Christ into their lives, my friend Grace stood up. All the hope that I had previously stuffed down my throat because I didn’t want to be disappointed spilled out into cries of joy. Grace’s life would forever be changed, and it all happened because of God’s grace, not because of any plan that I had. Grace’s life decision made me realize that if I surrender to God, I must let go of my agenda so that I could see His perfect plan come into play to transform both my friends and myself.

[This is part of the College Writers series. We are looking for students who want to post great stories like the above one.]

Annie & Stephanie: Two Alaskan students starting something new

By Shawn Young

Do you think it’s possible for students to plant ministries, or does it take a “professional minister” to do it? Historically, Christian student initiatives have been controlled, limited or dismissed by professional clergy because they “lack the theological training necessary”.  But the simple fact is, there are not enough campus ministers to reach the 4000 colleges and universities just in the United States, much less the rest of the world.  We simply cannot afford to confine the expansion of new ministry to the number of “full-time campus ministers” we can hire.  The only way that every campus will have a witnessing community is if students are taken seriously as planters themselves.

I believe that every Christian student carries within them the potential to start a Jesus-centered community that can reach others with the gospel.  Annie and Stephanie are two students who proved this to be true.

Accidental Apostles

Exactly one year ago, Annie and her friend Stephanie were involved in the InterVarsity chapter at the University of Fairbanks, Alaska.  During their Sophomore year, they were told that the classes they needed to graduate were only offered at the University of Anchorage. They made a visit to Anchorage to prepare for transferring to that campus.  That’s when they discovered that the University of Anchorage, Alaska had 900 students living in the dorms, and there were no Christian organizations for students.  That day, the two began talking about the possibility of planting an InterVarsity chapter “to give all 900 students in these dorms the chance to follow Jesus”.  They began to plan their new ministry, and that’s when I was asked for a copy of Start Something New for Annie and Stephanie.  I’ve been in touch with them ever since.

Didn’t God Speak to Us?

A strange thing happened next.  When Annie and Stephanie returned home, they learned that the classes they needed were going to be offered at their Fairbanks campus after all.  It was as if the circumstances were testing their sense of calling from God.  Annie recalls, “At one point we looked at each other and said, ‘But didn’t God speak to us in Anchorage?’” They decided to go through with their transfer, not because it was needed for graduation, but because God had called them to reach that campus!

They began this school year by walking through their Start Something New handbook, praying for the campus and asking God to connect them with other like-minded people.  In the first semester, they had shared their vision with dozens of students, and 10 students joined them to launch bible studies in 3 dorms.

Annie and Stephanie began training students how to share their faith with others.  “It was a huge step for most of them”, says Annie.  “At first they were really timid about talking to people about Jesus, but they saw that people were open to talking, and they sensed God was working”.  “Now they all want to do more.  They want to start next year by engaging the campus with the gospel”.

Wanting to Plant More

Yesterday I spoke with Annie to ask how the year had ended.  She reported that over 50 students are regularly involved with the ministry in Anchorage.  There is a team of leaders that meets weekly to pray, plan and support each other.  I’m so impressed with Annie and Stephanie’s leadership.  They have 3 contacts from the Native Alaskan student community on campus and they hope to work with them to start reaching those students.  Annie told me yesterday on the phone, “It was exciting for me when I visited the website for InterVarsity and saw that there were now two chapters listed in Alaska.  Anchorage is on the map!”

http://www.intervarsity.org/chapters/AK/

This is what gives me chills–seeing what God has done through two faithful students–and knowing that right now 40,000 students and faculty are currently involved with InterVarsity across the country.  What if they all did what Annie and Stephanie did this year?  It makes the dream of reaching all 4000 colleges in the United States seem within reach, within this generation.

Where are some of the campuses around you that are unreached and need a witness? Lets list them and pray for students to rise up like Annie and Stephanie.

If we want to reach our unreached neighbors with the love of Jesus Christ, then we have to show them what Jesus can do for them. We have to show them what transformation really looks like.

And unfortunately that transformation is going to be seen through your weakness being perfected in Christ. They need to  see the places that we fall short in our character so we can then allow them to watch us as we pursue Christ and He transforms us.

It might be anxiety, lust, materialism, envy, jealousy, or greed. I don’t know what your genuine short fall is.

But mine is definitely anger.

Tonight I blew up at my wife

Just tonight in our church council meeting (we do it on Google Talk) I got really mad at my wife. I took something she said and blew it way out of proportion. We had to shut the meeting down for 10min so my wife and I could resolve. It didn’t even work. We got back online and spent the rest of the meeting getting counseling from the other couple and them revealing to me their concerns about my anger and how to grow in that. It was a giant humble pill to swallow and the worst parts of my character were being handed back to me on a platter.

Their wisdom was right and I thanked them for sharing with me and instructing me in righteousness. Really, I am thankful that I have community that can lovingly call me out, watch me fight unfairly, and guide me back to the path of Jesus.  They see my full life.

But the reason this is helpful beyond my own marriage and personal holiness is that my neighbors need this testimony from me.

My Angry Neighbors

It is not a coincidence that God has burst open significant conversations with two of my neighbors in the last week. Since these encounters I have been praying without ceasing for God to reveal to me how to witness to them in genuine ways that make sense to them. I know they are ready for the gospel but I don’t fully know how to deliver it to them.

One of my neighbors spent Friday night hanging out with me in my man cave confessing to me his anger and frustration with his family and some of the horrible things his wife is doing to him. He has good reason to be angry but he is lost and unhappy and searching. He is a 50 year old Japanese Buddhist guy who has never talked about Jesus once before. He needs a friend to talk to and he is starting to like me. He asked me Friday,

“Do you really think there is something more out there that can help me?”

The second guy is a neighbor that I have been playing water volleyball with all year. He has massive anger problems and blows up all the time. He blew up at volleyball just on Sunday and quit in the middle of the game. He confessed to me during our car ride that he has major anger problems and needs help figuring out life. He said,

“I just feel like there has to be more out there, Beau. We need to talk about what the heck happens when you die. Is there more or not?”

We are scheduled to meet up next week for a beer and a great convo. He is a 52 year old alpha male white man.

But I left that conversation Sunday night praying to God,

“I need something real to share with these guys on my street, Lord. I need some way to show them my life and that I relate. I am not sure how. They are both older and so different from each other and me. I need to show them that the gospel is real and can change them, just like it has changed me so much over the last 12 years.”

Anger is the way

Well tonight I got angry at the council meeting and my anger was handed to me on a platter. I need to work on it and submit it to Jesus. I need his healing and transformation. I hate it, but I believe so powerfully in His grace that I know He will transform it if I keep opening my self to Him. I am embarrassed by it but not ashamed. God will win the day in this area because I am going to let Him.

But God is also speaking to me right now about how I have the fodder for the conversation with both my neighbors. I need to talk to these guys about my anger. I need to confess to them that I blew up at my wife and show them that I am fallen and need change. Anger gets the best of me sometimes too.

I need to show them that I am not some holier than thou person and that they can relate to me. I have real problems too.

But I also want to boldly declare to them that my answer is Jesus and I know he will transform me if I give him my life and heart. I want to tell them that I REALLY believe Jesus is alive and has the power to change the worst parts of us. He can give us new life and teach us to live the way life was intended to be lived. He is the only way to transformation in my opinion. Yes, you can learn to manage your crap, but if you want it transformed, you need the living power God.

I want to ask these guys if they will give Jesus a chance with their anger too.

So I praise God tonight that he is using one angry guy to reach a couple more on the block. These guys on my street need an angry guy being transformed by the power of Jesus to reach them. They need a guy who can relate. So pray for me because next week I am going to bring them into my real time story and show them how I am letting Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit transform me into a more loving and compassionate husband.

How about you? How is God calling you to use your weakness to reveal his power to those that are not yet following Him?

Nick (R) & Jon (L) are two of the guys leading Greek InterVarsity with me in LA.

By Beau Crosetto

I am a happy man today and that is because Nick Kwok, the Greek InterVarsity Staff at UCLA, is doing a phenomenal job planting the ministry and seeing it grow. But not just growing by accumulating believers. He is growing the ministry with God through conversion.

Earlier this year Nick was able to lead a student to faith in a fraternity and that was obviously exciting. But the news just gets better. Last night Nick led another guy to faith in that same fraternity. It is a great sign of growing by conversion and an answer to our prayers. At the beginning of the year, this was a fraternity without a believer in it, and now God led one guy to faith in Jesus and that guy opened the door for his fraternity brother to experience the same. That is the kind of ministry that excites me and that is growth through conversion!

One of our goals this year in the plant was to see 7 students come to faith in the ministry. So far we have 6 as of last night. Nick has been radically committed as he plants this ministry to not just accumulate believers in Christ but to articulate a vision that makes tons of space for people who are skeptics and seekers of Jesus. He makes space by doing four specific things.

1)   He always articulates in his vision that skeptics and seekers are welcome

This is a subtle thing, but most of the time when we talk about our vision for ministry or explain our group we talk in a way that makes it seem like only Christians are welcome. We don’t mean to do this but when we say things like, “this is a Christian group committed to helping people grow in Christ” or a “group that is committed to encountering God and growing in love for others” skeptics and seekers still feel as though it isn’t for them. How do I know this? Because I hear them say things like, “oh but I am not Christian?”

One of the best things Nick does is talk about his group like this,

“Greek InterVarsity is a place for people to learn about how Greek life and faith life come together. It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not. In fact our group is designed to help those seeking faith as well as those skeptical of Jesus. We want to make space for them to ask their questions and find there place.”

2)   He Gives his time to them

Nick makes time in his schedule for skeptics and seekers and loves being with them. One of the most common reasons we don’t have skeptics and seekers around is that we don’t make time for them and we don’t prioritize them.  We fill our time up hanging out and discipling Christians.  This is especially easy to do if you have a larger ministry you are part of. Nick cancels things with me and others so he can jump on an opportunity to meet with them. He always seems to have a space in his schedule for them and is meeting with someone almost every week that is not following Jesus.

3)   He Goes to them

Nick goes to them. He doesn’t make them come to his structures or bible studies. He meets them at their fraternity or in a coffee shop. Many ministries don’t have a lot of skeptic or seekers come to faith because they are expecting them to show up at the meetings. I hate to break it to you, but most skeptics of Jesus aren’t coming to “your thing” and not many seekers either. But if you make it clear that you will hang with them or make space in your schedule for other meetings designed for them, then you should see those people emerge.

4)   He Studies the Word with them

Nick is passionate about studying the word with skeptics and seekers. Just the other day I was asking him a question about how to talk to an atheist friend of mine and he said, “you have to get him in the word and get him arguing about the scripture, not just your ideas”. I loved that. It was something I knew but his reminder was powerful. Get your friends in front of Jesus in the gospels and let them wrestle with him and his words. He creates scripture studies that are evangelistic and just for the skeptic/seeker type of person. It is no coincidence that the guy Nick led to faith last night had been in a GIG (God Investigation Group) with Nick for 4 weeks. Last night they looked at John 5, the healing of the man at the pool, and the guy comes to faith. Of course!

[If you want some of my favorite GIG resources, I can send them to you. Just subscribe to the APE newsletter.]

Nick is a growing evangelist and has a large proportion of skeptics, seekers and new believers around his ministry. People who are trying to figure it out and connect the dots. He loves these people and does the four things mentioned above tremendously.

If you want to read his write up of leading the student to faith last night, you can read it here on his blog. He even does prayer ministry with the guy and Jesus gives them both visions that crack open the conversation!

Which of the four principles do you need to implement more often in your ministry?

Anna M. Jarvis

By James Choung

Mother’s Day often reminds me of sentimentalities like carnations, brunches, and heart-shaped chocolate. But did you know that the day is rooted in faith and justice?

This American holiday is a relatively new one. By 1861, Julia Ward Howe was already famous for her Civil War song, “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” But during the twelve years after writing that song, she witnessed the horrible carnage of that war. And it got to her. She was already an activist who fought for a woman’s right to vote. So she took one more step: she called for a day that would honor peace and motherhood in her Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. Here’s an excerpt:

We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause …

Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.

The holiday was to be celebrated on June 2nd, but it never took off. Later, however, Anna Reeves Jarvis gathered West Virginian women to keep honoring the holiday to reunite and reconcile families that were on opposing sides of the Civil War.

After she died, her daughter, Anna M. Jarvis, took up her mother’s cause. She convinced the superintendent of Andrew’s Methodist Church, where her mother served the Sunday school for 20 years, to hold a memorial in her mother’s honor and for peace. So on May 10, 1908, the first Mother’s Day celebration was held with 407 people, complete with arrangements of carnations — her mother’s favorite flower.

By 1909, 46 states were holding Mother’s Day services, and in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made it a national holiday.

So, the holiday started with Christian women who were justice advocates fighting for a woman’s right to vote, who were also tired of bloodshed and sought for peace, who also helped families reconcile with each other, and through this holiday, followed an old, old biblical command to “honor your father and mother.” Not too shabby, eh?

Next year, I hope (though probably to no avail) that Hallmark pulls these themes — peace, justice, reconciliation and faith — back together for a series of Mother’s Day cards. In that way, we’d remember afresh what holidays — “holy days” — were set apart to be.

Often times when we think about getting some solitude we think about getting some free space to do our own thing. We just need that hour to unwind, relax and catch our breath. But this is not what solitude is at all.

The last two days I took a retreat with a few of my friends to step back and reflect on the year and how God has been moving.

I love these times because it gives me a chance to soak up all that God has been up to and not just move on. It also allows me to address problem areas with him and  let him shape me more into his image.

One of the things I did on this retreat is re-read through Henri Nouwen’s great book The Way of the Heart.

The first part of the book is all about solitude and just what it really is. Here is a great quote from the book that struck me.

What I am taking away as a an apostolic and evangelistic leader is that I need more space with God alone so he can “convert” me further into his image.

Solitude is not about being alone or having your own time. Solitude is more than seperation. As Nouwen puts it, it is about conversion. It is about going from death to life in the presence of the living God. Often times we need alone time, away from the world and all its voices to let God speak freshly and lead us into conversion again.

If you are anything like me then you are flying 100 mph and have tons going on. Dreams, visions, meetings and relationships. Some of the things are great and stroke your ego, and some of them are bad and damage it. You need the solitude with God so both inflations and deflations can be converted in Christ and you can continue to find your grounding in Him.

We as APE leaders live a dangerous line. On one hand we are some of the most catalytic leaders in the church, but on the other had we have a huge temptation to find our identity in what we are doing.

My hope for you is that you will cultivate silence and solitude in your life and make tons of room for the Holy Spirit to convert you on an ongoing basis.

How do you cultivate solitude in your life? Please share with us!

This is a guest post by Laura Hairston. Laura is a wife, mom & practitioner. She serves on the National Leadership team for Forge America Mission Training Network and is co-founder of Waken Ministries,  both organizations helping with missionary formation & discipleship. Connect with her on  Twitter | Facebook

Flower arrangements. The smell of homemade bread. Martha Stewart. This is what used to come to mind when I heard the word “hospitality.”  If you know me at all, even the mention of ‘homemade’ or ‘Martha Stewart’ would have kicked me out of the running already.

Or, if you’ve grown up attending church or attend currently, you probably had a Hospitality Team or may even serve in that role now.  These individuals typically manage the coffee table, greet you with a smile, and were probably placed there because it was in the top 3 of their Gift Assessment. Turns out the church has a very SMALL view of hospitality and so did myself.

A Different Idea

Given these two scenarios, I’ve gone through life thinking I did not have to be hospitable because if you ate my pie, you may die, and my ‘gift assessment’ never came out as being high in hospitality (or mercy either, but that’s a blog for another time). But, I was really good at bringing the soft drinks or store bought cookies to the parties of those who did.

As I’ve been contemplating this, I asked for help on Facebook with the question, “What comes to mind when you hear the word, ‘hospitality’?” I received a range of answers: smiles, genuine kindness, open homes, eye contact, safe place, and the list goes on. But, I think my favorite response, the one, which resonated with me the most, was from my 77 year-old MeeMaw which said, “God’s gift to others in the form of being generous and full of grace.”  I also recognized that no one put any of the above scenarios I mentioned, so maybe all my assumptions were a little bit off.

I love what the Message version of Matthew 5:16 says:

“Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”

So, as we open up with others, as we are genuine in sharing our lives and allowing them to share theirs as well, we are being hospitable.

This can take shape in many different facets too. It is definitely shown by opening up our homes, providing a safe, comfortable place for people. But it goes further than that to me—It’s being a genuine, generous, and gracious person just as my MeeMaw mentioned. It is allowing individuals to be themselves, comfortable and not forcing them to become something they are not or what we want them to be.  To do that we have to open up to others as well by being vulnerable, genuine and real. Everyone is on a journey, God is working whether we realize it or not, so trust him with the process.

My Real Beef

So, here’s my real beef with all of this:  Most of the people who are not yet Christ followers show more hospitality than those who are already Christ followers. I’m not sure if the reason is because we as Christ followers are trying to hide behind a facade of ‘having it all together’ or if because we just don’t have the time, but, come on! If we are to be like Jesus, then let’s be like Jesus! He invited people to walk alongside him, he welcomed them into his home, he really listened, and he invited the poor, blind & lame or as The Message interprets, ‘the misfits’ to dinner (Luke 14) and never asked for anything in return. Don’t just say, “Well, I don’t have that gift!”  That’s crap!

A friend posted this quote to his blog and it sums up hospitality rather well:

“Hospitality means inviting the stranger into our private space, whether that be the space of our own home or the space of our personal awareness and concern. And when we do so, some important transformations occur. Our private space is suddenly enlarged; no longer tight and cramped and restricted, but open and expansive and free.” — Parker Palmer

So these days, our family has a very open-door policy. We love hosting parties, I lead a neighborhood group for teenage girls every Wednesday evening in our home, and in the Fall we will be hosting a high school foreign exchange student from Germany for the full school year.  We enjoy hearing laughter, friends sharing life, and building relationships; we want to be generous with what God has given us. I love what Mother Teresa says, “Let no one come to you without leaving happier.” This is genuine hospitality to me whether in my home or somewhere else.

It’s time that we call our people–and ourselves–to a true hospitality rather than a token hospitality. So, I would ask, “How are you showing hospitality daily to others?” and “Are you opening up your heart and your home on a regular basis to those to who are not yet Christ followers or even those we may see as ‘misfits’?”

When you do this and the Lord opens your eyes and hearts to those around you, hospitality will flow out of you. No matter what your gifts assessment says.

If you have been in a cave the last few days, three women have been held captive in a house for 10 years and none of the neighbors knew. the details that are leaking out are just horrible.

But what is interesting to me is the neighbor that found them and rescued them. His interview is below and it is great (this is the recent one by Anderson Cooper).

His comments are interesting. He talks about knowing the neighbor who was enslaving the women. He grilled with them, gave them their mail when it was misplaced, and even saw the “grandkids” running in the back yard (the kids were the daughters of the women, who were impregnated by these guys in the 10 year span).

He even said that Gabriel (the man holding the women captive) was a normal dude. He was “cool”.

This neighbor for all we can tell is not out of touch with his street compared to most. He probably talked to his neighbors more than alot of us. But he had no idea at all. How is that possible? I don’t say this to judge the guy, but to just sit for a moment and go,

“how is it possible that our neighbors, that we even know, can be doing this stuff and we don’t know?”

This story just burdens me further that I need to know my neighbors…really know them. I don’t know all of them and the ones that I do know, I don’t know really well. I haven’t been in most of their houses and they haven’t been in mine. But this story really pushes me further to know these people.

[Here is a great article by Brad Brisco about how to engage your neighbors better]

The title “Escape From Captivity” that CNN is going with is perfect. These women did escape and we need to rejoice in this.

At the same time, we need to be more intentional and incarnational neighbors that press into families lives. We need to help people escape from the captivity that is darkness and lostness that is all around us. This story should also alert us to the fact that others on our street are struggling with some deep and dark stuff too. We need to be there and we need to know.

One of the things that the man interviewed said was, “Now I am kept up at night because of this…I can stop thinking about how I could have done something earlier if I only knew”.

Let’s know our neighbors so we can see the Kingdom of God break in and bring healing, renewal and more release from captivity.

What is one intentional step you can take this week to know a neighbor better?

By Steve Stuckey

[This post is part of a series called Rooted. Find the other posts here]

What a Weekend

“Wow! What a weekend,” Bill said. “I was up till 2:00am on Thursday night arranging rides for the conference. I woke early Friday morning with a call that one of our seminar leaders was sick and would not be able to make it. Between trying to find a replacement, complete my own seminar, and pack my car with musical equipment, I was tired before I ever reached the dock for our 5:00pm departure to Campus by the Sea. But once on the boat with all the students, the adrenaline kicked in and I was fine. I had a great conversation with a new student on the ride over. My Friday night presentation went well. Students told me how much they appreciated what I had to say and that encouraged me. The next two days were filled with transforming conversations over meals, great worship times, basketball with fellow staff in the afternoon, and a prayer session lasting late into the night. Though I got only five or six hours of sleep each night, I didn’t feel all that tired. The energy of the group and a lot of strong coffee carried me along. So much kingdom work was getting done in such a short time. But then on the boat ride home Sunday afternoon, I noticed that my head hurt and I was starting to feel a little sad. I had worked on the conference for four weeks. It was a fantastic success with numerous students deciding to follow Jesus. But it was coming to an end.”

Monday Morning

“When I woke Monday morning, my whole body hurt and the sadness from the day before had deepened. I checked the backlog of email and started to feel nauseous. Later in the day I was surfing the internet. I stumbled on an advertisement featuring a young woman in a bikini. I clicked and next thing I knew, I was leering at a pornographic website. I knew the site was not good for me, but once there, I couldn’t turn it off. When I finally did turn it off 40 minutes later, I felt ashamed and dirty. How could I go from the heights of serving God one day to the gutter of sexual depravity the next? I even thought that maybe the good things that happened through me on the weekend were just an illusion.”

Spirituality and Energy

If you listen carefully to Bill’s story, which is a frequent account that I hear from InterVarsity staff, you will notice that it is all about energy. There is the creative energy of preparing for the conference; the encouraging conversation on the boat; the praise of students for his talk; the social stimulation of the group, and the satisfaction of completing an important event. His description of Monday was about his experience of the loss of energy and his subconscious attempt to numb his depression with sexual energy that functioned as visual caffeine.

At the most basic level, our spirituality is the way we deal with our inner energy. The Hebrew word for “spirit” is the word breath. It refers to the animating energy given to us at birth that departs from us at death. It is expressed as physical, social, sexual, intellectual, and creative energy. It uniquely defines us and our life in the world.  Biblical spirituality emphasizes that our energy does not come from us, belong to us, nor can we naively manage it on our own. It is meant to be returned to God. My conversation with Bill was focused on helping him notice his use of energy.  Becoming aware of our inner energy is the first step in spiritual formation. In part one of this blog post, I want to talk about physical energy. In succeeding months, we will discuss the effects of other categories of energy.

Sleep Deprivation

Over a period of three or four days, Bill got less sleep than he needed. Caffeine and adrenalin helped him mask his fatigue and growing depression. A psychologist friend who works with the homeless told me that a sleep deprived person can temporarily experience the same manic/depressive symptoms and loss of impulse control of a person suffering from bipolar disorder. (Many parents of infants face the same challenge.) The boom/bust cycle that many young staff develop is a dangerous way to live if you are an apostle, prophet or evangelist as it can blind you from awareness of your root system and lead to unwise decisions. Elijah is the patron saint of the boom/bust cycle and we will look more closely at his story next month. In the mean time here are a few questions to help you notice your physical energy.

Questions

1. How does your body let you know when you are overly tired? How much sleep do you need per night? What helps you sleep well?

2. Before a major event, what might you do in terms of sleep, diet, and exercise to build up your physical energy? Can you complete event preparation ahead of time so that you can enter the event relaxed?

3. During the event, what might you do to pace yourself, improve your rest/restoration time, eat healthily, or not overdo physical exertion?

4. Post event, could you plan to get extra sleep for a couple of days, or avoid the email and the internet for the first 24 hours?

[This post is part of a series called Rooted. Find the other posts here]