RENTAPAL.COM

OMG! I Just Found Out That My Parents are Swingers!

2011-07-10T12:54:00.001-04:00

Dear Rentapal
OMG! I went to my parents house for a surprise visit last Saturday around 9 pm. I parked in the driveway, and when I got out of the car I heard moaning that sounded like my mother, coming from my parents bedroom window (which is on the first floor at the back of the house).

I got scared and thought that maybe my mother was having a heart attack or something so I rushed up to the window. When I looked in, I saw all these naked bodies flipping around! My parents were having an orgy with another couple! I just stood there in total shock for a minute, then got totally embarrassed and ran back to my car. I'm quite sure that they never heard my car because of all the moaning.

Damn, Rentapal. My parents are in their 60s and frankly, I didn't think they had this in them. I never saw even a hint of this side of them in all my years growing up. I'm married now too, but my husband and I don't do anything like this. What am I, like some sort of prude? I thought my parents were boring, middle class, typical parents (now grandparents by the way!!). I'm freaked out and think that I'm going to feel very weird the next time I see them, but at the same time I'm very curious to know how long have they been doing this, and with whom!

I haven't seen them since this little incident and have avoided talking to them on the phone. I feel very awkward now and don't know how to handle the situation. Should I say anything about what I saw or just make believe it never happened?
Didi

Dear Didi,
I can understand how discovering your parents in an orgy would be an unsettling experience. Nevertheless, their private lives are theirs to do as they please. Since they never told you about this side of themselves, they obviously don't want you to know. I'd say forget about it and act like it never happened.

The only reason I could possibly think of to say anything might be to warn them that they shouldn't leave their bedroom windows open while having sex! But, nevertheless, I'd still suggest that you just don't get involved. Sure, they are your parents, but their sex lives are just not your business.

I wonder how RENTAPAL readers feel about this. Should Didi act like it never happened, or should she say something to her parents?

Didi's parent-orgy dilemma

My Life is a Bad Cliche'

2011-06-26T10:19:00.005-04:00

Dear Rentapal
I've been working in a job that I don't really care about for almost 12 years. My wife and I have a little money saved up and the responsible thing for us to do now would be to buy an a house and "settle down." The thing is that my life is just B O R I N G. I keep thinking, where is the fun in my life? I dream about just taking off and traveling. Am I just going to spend the rest of my life doing something I don't care about so that I can pay bills? Rentapal, help! My life is like a bad cliche'!
Bob

Dear Bob
Life is too short to keep living a life that you don't care about. What is your passion? Figure out a way to work in that area. Also, if you've got some money saved, why not have a travel adventure before you begin your new career? Or if you can, find a career that allows you to keep traveling (for some great advice on that kind of lifestyle, check out: http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/. Where do you dream of going? Today, you can travel just about anywhere in the world on just about any budget. The clock on your life is ticking - do what you want before it's too late!

"Coping Sex" with My Ex

2011-06-22T20:28:00.003-04:00

Dear Rentapal,
My boyfriend of 9 months and I recently called it quits. That's the longest I've ever been with a guy. I still care about him and remember a lot of the good times, but there were just things that we couldn't work through, causing us to split. One of my ex boyfriends (also a friend ) has offered me a 'shoulder to cry on,' speaking euphemistically. He offered me 'coping sex,' no strings attached. I don't feel ready for it at all right now, but I fear that I will in the near future. I want to keep him as a friend, but I also don't want to destroy my self-esteem by sleeping with someone I'm not in a relationship with (I've done it before and it hurts). What's your advice for getting over a breakup like this?
Alison

Dear Alison,
9 months isn't a terribly long time to have dated, so it shouldn't take you too long to get over your most-recent ex, and move-on with your dating life.

If having 'coping sex' with your other ex will make you feel bad, then it sounds like you've already answered your own question. Also, who is he kidding? No strings attached sex is what most guys dream about. It seems like he would be doing more of a favor for himself than for you!

Too Fat For My Girlfriend

2011-06-06T09:56:00.008-04:00

Dear Rentapal
My girlfriend says I'm too fat and wants me to lose weight or else she will leave me. We've been dating for about a year already, and we have a pretty good relationship, except for this. I thought that maybe we could get married one day but now I don't know. Is she being too superficial?
Dave

Dear Dave,
I'd suggest asking her to clarify something. Is she asking you to lose weight because she is concerned about your health or because of more superficial reasons? If she's asking because she's concerned about your health, then I'd suggest that you get a medical checkup and share your doctor's advice with your girlfriend. If your doctor wants you to lose weight, then maybe your girlfriend can help you to work on this. If your doctor says there's no problem, then maybe your girlfriend will forget about it.

if she wants you to lose weight for more superficial reasons, then you should decide whether those reasons are important to you, personally. There's nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to look their best, but if you both feel strongly opposed on this issue, then maybe it's not the right relationship for either of you.

Let's ask the Rentapal audience to help with this one - Readers, let us know what you think!
Rentapal poll-breakup because of weight?

Singing or Science?

2011-05-29T15:30:00.007-04:00

Dear Rentapal,
So whenever im by myself i just absolutely love singing. Everyone says im great bla bla bla. i also have played piano by ear since i was 4 and am in love with writing poetry. i think i could be really influential and a great artist/musician and im not trying to toot my own horn but im darn pretty too!!

im going to school for neuroscience and love it as well. but i love music and creative expression more than any other thing in the world. and singing brings me nothing but joy. What do you think i should do?
Julia

Dear Julia,
Maybe you don't have to choose just one or the other right now. How about continuing with both for a while? School/university schedules are usually on weekdays and performing opportunities are mostly on weekends and nights. If you get some momentum with your music you can follow it, but if not, you can still continue making music on the side and avoid becoming a starving musician.

Look at Brian May, guitarist from the 70s supergroup Queen. Brian was studying for a PhD in astrophysics while playing with Queen in his off-time. When Queen started to get popular, he took a temporary leave from his studies to see if the music thing might work out. Queen became one of the most successful bands in history, but Brian never lost his love of astrophysics. He returned to school after becoming a living legend, and finally finished his PhD over 30 years later!

Which Man Do I Choose?

2010-04-29T19:36:00.010-04:00

Hi Rentapal-
I'm essentially dating two guys right now (bitchy, I know). One guy I've dated for a few years and he's very intelligent, but plays video games all day and has a low sex drive. The other guy that I've been friends with for about a year and dated only a little bit has great chemistry with me, but has disappointed me in terms of schooling, drinking more than I think he should, etc. My problem is that guy #2 seems to love me more than #1, and I am much happier with #2. I'm just concerned about #2's future. Who do I go with? (Also keep in mind that I'm at the same university with these guys and we're all 21 years old)
Thank you Rentapal,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,
Let's see. Number 1 is smart, but a video junkie with low sex drive. The question is: can you get him to think about video less and you more? Try dressing up as one of his favorite video game characters, and asking him to "play" you until he reaches a new high-score.

For number 2, maybe you can lower his alcohol drive a bit by showing him this: "Alcohol causes loss of libido, impotence, and sterility in males." Can you make him smarter too? Well, maybe if he starts to drink less he'll take up some new activities like reading (just make sure that he doesn't take up video games).

Try both of these methods and see which guy improves the most!

The Roommate from Hell

2010-04-25T17:11:00.010-04:00

Hi Rent a pal
My roommate cannot leave my guy friends alone. I've been living with her for 6 months and every single guy friend that I bring over, she tries to coax them into her room. I can count 5 guy friends that she's dug her claws into. What should I do?
Thanks,
Amanda

Dear Amanda
First, you should tell her that this is bothering you, and ask her to stop. If she is a true friend, then she'll chill-out and be more respectful.

Second, try bringing home some "decoy dates" (guys you have no interest in, and who maybe even smell bad) before you bring home your real date. That should keep her distracted long enough for you to be alone with the ones you really like. If neither of these work, find a new roommate!

Can I Rent You In-Person?

2010-04-25T16:55:00.008-04:00

Hi Rentapal
Wow, you've got a wild website here. I saw a story about you on tv in Brasil and heard you charged $20 per hour for friendship, but don't see where that option is on the site. How can I rent you? Also I read that this is some sort of art project. So I'm wondering if these comments and stories are real or if this all some sort of performance art.
Abracos
Jojo

Dear Jojo
I've been busy with other things lately, so I've temporarily removed the option to rent me in-person. However, I'm still available to be a virtual friend anywhere in the world using the Internet.

Regarding the questions and stories, my first instinct would be to ask "could I make this stuff up?" Well, yes I could but I don't need to because I get many questions each month. However, I only post responses to ones that I think are most interesting in some way.

Is it art? Hmmm... You tell me...

Talking cactus?

2010-03-19T18:10:00.004-04:00

Dear Rentapal

our cousin has no friends and has recently been dumped. He has resulted to talking to cactuses and often looks to the sky in confusion, and seems to be in search of answers. we are very concerned with his behavior, and lack of social skills. can you help him for our sake?
Mort

Dear Mort,
Perhaps your cousin is doing more with cacti than just talking!
http://psychoactives.wikia.com/wiki/Psychedelic_Cacti

Is my wife gay?

2010-03-13T15:12:00.003-05:00

Dear Rentapal

My wife started at her new office last year. Since then she has changed. She goes out twice a week with another girl who works at her office. The girl comes around most weeks with new clothes for my wife, which mainly consist of very short skirts and satin / silky tops and shirts. I must say she looks good, but I suspect that there is more to it. Several people I know have said that she has been seen dancing very closely with her pal, and several times has slept at her house. My wife is 38 and the girl is 26. She can carry it off well but my wife is perhaps a little old for clubbing in miniskirts and boots !
Your advice?
John

Dear John
Why don't you just start by asking your wife? If she is involved with her co-worker and admits to it, maybe they'll bring you along next time for some extra fun.

A career in farting?

2010-03-06T07:38:00.002-05:00

Dear Rentapal,
I have flatulence. I've tried every pill and change of diet but to no avail. I fart 300 or more times every day. Big, loud and ferocious farts. I used to be ashamed but now I'm proud of my ability to clear an elevator in 3 seconds or to open up space in a crowded subway car. My friends (who've learned to keep their distance and have fans on all the time I'm visiting) all say I should be in the Guinness Book. Should I pursue a cure or a career?
Ignatz

Dear Ignatz,
Congratulations on your special gift. Perhaps you can go very far by blowing audiences away with your talent. Before deciding to become a professional farter however, you might want to check out the competition. Do you have what it takes to go up against this?
http://www.fart-sounds.net/jingle-bell-fart-song.htm

An offer you can't refuse

2010-03-02T22:13:00.003-05:00

Rentapal,

Some of your responses seem a little less friendly than they could be, and it think it might be hurting your business. I think what you need is a real friend-- someone to listen to YOUR problems after a long day of putting up with those of your clients.

You see, I believe that your unique business provides something that your clients just can't find anywhere else: sanity. Unfortunately, selling so much of it off seems to be leaving you with a deficit, but that's OK!

I can replenish your stores for about $3 per letter or phone call. The major benefit to this method is that you'll never have to pay for sanity you don't need, and if that wasn't enough to convince you, there's no limit to how often we can talk!

As long as I stay sane, you'll stay sane, and so will all of your incredibly lucky clients. You'll even have enough sanity not to publicly share clients' private details or belittle people seeking advice, and your client-base will grow.

Ultimately, your income and quality of life will both improve. How can you say no to that? I'd love to be your friend, Rentapal.

Some restrictions apply. See psychiatrist for details.
Cheers
Daniel (not the dentist, but vodka & elvis rule!)

Dear Daniel,
That is indeed a great offer, and your reasoning is quite logical. There's just one problem: I would never claim to be "sane" in the first place. So, as tempting as your offer is, I would not want to put my sanity status at risk by utilizing your services. If, on the other hand, if you would like to lose some of your sanity, then feel free to utilize more of my services.

Addiction to female under arm hair

2010-02-21T10:23:00.003-05:00

hi Paul, I hope you can help me, I'm in a spot of bother.

I've got an addiction that I'm struggling to contain, it's taking over my life. I've lost my wife, my kids, the car, even the dog...all because of my fascination/love of under arm hair.

It all started when I went on a camping holiday in France two years ago. Everywhere I went I saw women with big bushy armpits walking around. At first I wasn't sure what to make of it, but by the end of the holiday, I found myself paying for 'special massages' with the campsite masseuse. She had perfect underarm hair, and an accent to die for! I kept in touch with her after the holiday, but I soon found myself trying to figure out ways of meeting other women with under arm hair. I turned to online dating and managed to find a local woman with a great body, and lovely arm hair...It was a bad move, my wife found out, and my life was turned upside down very quickly. The woman I met wasn't impressed with the fact I had cheated on my wife, and now I find myself alone, struggling to find my next hit of female under arm hair.

I guess I should have just suggested to my wife that she let her hair grow a bit, but its far too late for that now. I'm 40 next month, and it feels like my life is ending (not beginning). I'm not looking for a solution Paul, I just need a friend. Please help me buddy, I've literally got no one else to turn to.

Hope u r well.
Roger

Dear Roger
I agree that you should have just asked your wife, first. But since it's too late to fix that, you might want to think about how your hair fetish will fit in with other aspects of future relationships. After your initial excitement with underarm hair dissipates, you'll still be left with all the other aspects of any relationship - compatibility, communication, romance, etc.

You could use Internet dating services to advertise for women with hairy armpits, but I'd bet that this would limit your options. You'll do best by meeting women under more typical pretenses, and simply mentioning your interest in underarm hair upfront. This way, you'll know quickly whether they are willing to share, or at least explore, your preference and you can move on from there.

for more on this topic, see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underarm_hair
http://hair.lovetoknow.com/Armpit_Hair

You are my new hero!

2010-02-11T18:22:00.004-05:00

Dear Paul
I just discovered your site. You are either an evil genius or the funniest crazy man ever. Either way, I am in awe.
CoLa

Dear CoLa
Can't I be both?

Is he telling me the truth?

2010-02-09T10:22:00.003-05:00

Dear Rentapal

Well after a year of not saying something, I finally got the motivation to tell a good friend of mine that I liked him a lot, and he likes me too. But only problem is he has a girlfriend. Now he keeps telling me you never know what could happen with him and I but I don't want him cheating on her with me. And plus she knows where I live, and I don't think she likes me much anyway. Now should I just stick it out and wait, or just go on with my life and hope maybe in the future it could really happen? I waited a year to tell him how I felt, what's the worst that could happen?
Becky

Dear Becky,
Go on with your life! If he is telling you "you never know" while he's still dating someone else, then there's no reason to expect him to act differently when he's dating you. There are plenty of other men out there.

2010-01-28T09:33:00.003-05:00

Dear Rentapal
hi i am fran i am unpopular and i really would like a friend i have been looking for something like this for a long time. last week i went my mums house she wud not answere the door as she dislikes me so much. As u can see i need a friend. plz help i am desperate!!!

Dear Fran,
Your mom doesn't even like you? This sounds like a pretty severe situation. There must be a reason. Since she won't see you in-person, write a letter to your mother asking for her help. Tell her that you want to find out why she won't see you so that you can change whatever it is that she doesn't like. Ask her to either call you or write to you with the answer. Chances are, whatever she points will be the cause of your social problems with others, as well.

Straddling my Pylons

2010-01-01T09:31:00.003-05:00

Hey Rentapal,

I am very excited to be your friend. My favorite color is red and I am super Emo. I feel about 1000 emotions a day. I like to straddle pylons. I have proof, I can send you video footage. So if you would like be my friend give me a hollar. YOu can reach me any time. I have a portable computer.
xoxox
Sarah

Dear Sarah
I, and the rest of the Rentapal community, can't wait to see your pylon straddling videos (or for that matter, to just find out what pylon straddling is). Is pylon straddling the cause of your many daily emotions? - would fear, terror, and anxiety be among them? Send the videos asap - we are waiting with bated breath...

I need friends for clubbing

2009-12-09T09:20:00.003-05:00

dear rentapal:

i always have problems finding someone to accompany me when i go out to lounges, clubs, bars, etc. as a female, i just can't do it alone! how can i find a female friend willing to accompany me almost every weekend night like this?
Jennifer

Dear Jennifer
Is clubbing all that you do? Most people find friends to socialize with via other activities such as school, work, community groups, etc. Maybe you should reduce the number of nights you spend clubbing and spend a little time doing other activities. That way, you'll find friends to socialize with and become a more interesting person in the process.

Just distraught

2009-11-04T09:27:00.003-05:00

Dear Paul,

I hope you had a lovely Sunday. I had a really awful week, am terribly depressed, angry at my new [3 months' worth] husband for lying about money and other things and in general making me look bad, and angry at my best, only friend whom I've known since I was 11 [ 1 am now 35.] --for essentially saying I wasn't that terrific with money myself and she heard i was a nag and anyway, what am I going to do now, if i can't stand him then why don't I leave? i wouldn't dare cry on the shoulders of my mother, brother or his wife, sister or her husband [my other good and close friends] -- because it would be just devastating to have that circulate back to my husband. I have lost the only ear I had. my other good friend [since the age of 17] is a man, and I can't possibly talk about my husband to him -- seems a breach of ethics to me. I have acquaintances at work, but mourning to them seems like bad politics. It sucks to be an introvert.

Thank you very much, Paul, I hope people are generally kinder than the man who wrote you were an expletive idiot.
Sarah

Dear Sarah
If you really "can't stand" your husband, then why wouldn't you want to leave? The other obvious question would be why you married someone you can't stand in the first place, but that's another matter. Are you annoyed with your best friend only because of what she told you? If so, maybe you should listen to her. After all, true best friends are the ones who tell us what we need to hear, which is not always what we want to hear.

Bowl cuts: are they in or out?

2009-10-28T09:25:00.003-04:00

Hi there rentapal,

we need to find ourselves some hot men, like yourself!! we are considering a change of appearance in the form of a hair cut... in particular a 'bowl-cut'. What are your views rentapal?

from the 2 fun loving and hair challenged aussie chicks
xxx

Dear fun loving Aussie chicks,
Sorry to tell you that unless your heads are shaped like a collection of fruits, bowl-cuts are definitely out. Indeed, they were never in, no matter how many people had them. For help in finding the right haircut, try this site - http://www.thehairstyler.com/

love, or friendship?

2009-09-12T09:24:00.002-04:00

Dear RAP,

I've been hangin out with this girl for the past year or 2 and at first i never noticed anything, but all of a sudeen she became very close, she started talkin to me, started calling me to hang out, and did so much more, she also planned out the entire birthday for me. is this love or friendship?
Jerr

Dear Jerr
It could just be a loving friendship - as in Platonic love. Lots of men and women share loving friendships that are not necessarily romantic. However, that can still be a big problem if one of the friends wants romance in addition to the friendship. If that's your desire, then you should speak to her about it directly. Tell her that you would like to know if she is interested in becoming romantically involved, so that you can be clear about the relationship. If she's also interested in romance, then great - you can both take the next step. If she's not interested in romance, then it's still great, because you will have eliminated the question from your mind while still remaining friends with her; and you'll feel free to pursue a romantic love (and friendship) with someone else.
Your pal,
Paul

Babies having babies

2009-08-21T09:22:00.002-04:00

Dear Rentapal

i really would like to be a mum but my mum says she will kick me out if i bring home a baby at my age(11). what should i do.
carla

Dear Carla
It's great that you want to have a baby, but you are too young. How would you be able to support a baby, and how would you have enough time to continue your education? I'd suggest that you develop your future parenting skills by raising yourself, first.
Your pal
Paul

how do you know when somebody is interested?

2009-07-07T09:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Rent a pal,

I have a friend who asks me if her new male friend is interested in anything more from her. She really likes him but sometimes he is all over her and then at the drop of a hat he seems vague and a bit cold. I am useless at trying to work men out so thought i'd ask you the question!! Please help me help my friend
andy

Dear Andy
If your friend's friend is sometimes "all over her," then it's clear he is interested in sex, at a minimum. If he becomes vague and cold at the drop of a hat while they are being physical, then he may be psychologically unstable. If he becomes vague and cold only at other times, then he's probably just not interested in anything beyond sex.
Your pal
Paul

I'm lonely

2009-06-12T09:16:00.002-04:00

Dear Rentapal

i came across this site and thought i would just talk to you..i feel so alone all the time. Ever since my ex bofriend broke up with me which was the same time my 2 best friends went overseas i have had no one. Everyone that we knew when my 2 friends were here act like i dont even exist. Every weekend i sit at home becuase i have nothing to do with the friends i dont have. I used to have so many friends now no one its such a strange feeling i dont know what to do but i feel like crying most of the time. Sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to other than my parents and im only 19 life shouldnt be like this! neways im sure thats enough. thanks for listening i guess.
Melisssa

Dear Melissa
You are still young and will have many opportunities to make new friends as time goes on. What kinds of things are you interested in? Why not join some clubs or groups with others who share your interests? That is a great way to make new friends.

Your pal

Paul

I hate my inlaws

2009-05-17T14:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Rentapal
Hi I was just wondering what you thought about in laws? I hate mine and I have a hard time dealing with them, some times I hate them!
Pam

Dear Pam,
In general, I'd say that dealing with in-laws is better than dealing with outlaws. However, if your in-laws also happen to be outlaws then I'd suggest keeping a close eye on your wallet.
Your pal
Paul