Rest Area

Uh......

2011-07-31T05:34:00.000+08:00

......it's been ancient, I know, but things...... are really changing again, and they changed big.

So, so, so (x10) much more things have happened in my life since the beginning of this year. Things came and went, coming and going, like nobody's business. (Not even mine.)
I've developed a new topic of interest, have coped with never-before-seen-kind-of-stress, have helped more people, have had first-hand contact with antipsychotic drugs (but not me taking them - duh), and... have learnt so much more. It was...... challenging.

I don't know whether it was because I didn't have time to post anything, because I didn't have the mood to post anything, or because I didn't know what I should post. And time just... flew by......

Anyway, there's something I'd like to say. I've temporarily made private my so-called main blog (the other blog) after contemplating. I've thought about it for... like... a week?
The reason I did this is that after living for 20 something years, walking the path in life until where I am now, I began to realize and understand that things... are so much more...... deep. No, not complex, not simple, just... deep. And whatever I wrote there on the other blog is pretty pointless I feel, if not funny. Lol.

So yeah... I'd like to stop writing things with those kinds of themes for an unknown period of time. Perhaps until when I feel I'm ready (and can produce much more meaningful work).

But for now, it's very early in the morning, and I'm still craving for some sleep. So I'll sign off here.
Enjoy your day.

The Pathetic Nature of People

2011-04-05T17:18:00.000+08:00

Again and again I see real-life examples of people being foolish (and laugh), and then cry in the end due to their foolishness.

People have this strange, stupid tendency to ignore or even make fun of something that they themselves are not experiencing at the moment (but are in no way spared from being struck by it in the future). They’ll joke about it, laugh at it, and think it’s funny.
It’s not like they consciously think they would never face that problem, no. It’s that they never even bother to think whether they might face such problem in the future, whatever the problem one is talking about. So they would try to be funny with it, and feel that they would get away with it. But reality isn’t so forgiving, is it?

These people are mostly young people. They think they’re young, so they can keep many of “the future problems” out of their heads. Yes, when one is young, lots of things can be tried out. After all, their bodies are still strong and good, and they still have the strength to make things happen. But that doesn’t mean future problems can be kept out of mind. Well, of course they can do that. Just don’t cry when things happen. I’d tell them, “You brought this on yourself.”

One of the worst things to do in life is to do wrong and not realize it. Or, in this case, to be immature and not realize it. Of course, if one is immature, he or she wouldn’t know it. If he or she knows it, that person isn’t so immature anymore. But really, this is not an excuse to be immature. Because reality doesn’t give a damn whether or not you’re immature. You play with fire, you get burned. Simple.

One can choose to live whatever life one wants. It’s that person’s life. True.
If you choose to live a simple life with a simple-minded approach, it’s not like you’re wrong. If you choose to live “a complex life” with “a complex worldview”, it’s not like you’re wrong either. It’s just about how much value you want to add to your life, or living experience.
An immature person can be immature all the way until the last day of life. No problem. After all, we all have to leave someday. But since you’re already here, it’s what you make out of your life that counts.

It still comes back to the same point: if you think it’s funny now, don’t cry in the future. “You brought this on yourself.”

Quick Update

2011-03-21T04:33:00.000+08:00

It's all Facebook's fault!
Because there is this thing called "Facebook", there are less needs for me to write on my blogs! (Lol. What kind of reason this is... But it's true.)

People who have me in Facebook should see me being active there. So yeah, if you don't have me in Facebook, and don't see anything happening on this blog, it doesn't mean I had ceased to exist in the cyberspace. Lol.

Lots, and I mean lots, of things have happened since months ago. I don't even know where to begin. There have been so many new things introduced into my life. I've learnt so much more and seen so much more. But one thing doesn't change: I'll have to finish my degree, get out there, find a job, and begin my life-long journey of seeking money. (Isn't it good if I could make money seek for me instead?!)

Whatever.
Just when you think you've had it easy, reality slaps you hard in your face.

Now I'm once again battling assignment due dates and upcoming exams. I'll see if I could find another time to write something more useful over here.

"Natural" or "Artificial" Ingredients Are Meaningless

2011-01-18T08:01:00.006+08:00

Yes. Meaningless.

Are you one of the people who philosophically dislike "artificial (synthetic) ingredients" in things that you eat?

If you are, you have to read this post.

When I discuss food, diet, and nutritional products with friends, sometimes we would come across topics regarding whether something is "all-natural".

*** Part 1: Everything is chemical

Please read and remember this...

In a sense, there is no difference between "natural" and "artificial" ("synthetic") ingredients, because they are all chemicals.

I repeat: everything is chemical.

Perhaps you may ask who I am to say this, but you really don't have to ask, just go and do a bit of research.

Everything is chemical. Our world is made of chemicals. The orange you just ate was made of chemicals. The rice you just ate was made of chemicals. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the ground we step on, they're all made of chemicals. Heck, even our whole bodies are a mass of chemicals.

When you pour a glass of water, would you want to call it "water"? Or "H₂O"?

When you hear the vitamin called "vitamin C", would you want to call it "vitamin C"? Or "Ascorbic Acid" (C₆H₈O₆)?

What about vitamin K? When you eat your vegetables, one of the vitamins you take in is vitamin K. So is this vitamin K "all-natural" if you take it from vegetables? Or is it any more natural than its chemical name "2-methyl-3-phytyl-1,4-naphthoquinone"?

Estrogen? Estrogen is something that is produced in our bodies. It's definitely "all-natural" right? Since our bodies produce it! But does it sound any less natural (or more natural for that matter) with its chemical name of "(8S,9S,13S,14S,17S)-13-methyl-6,7,8,9,11,12,14,15,16,17-decahydrocyclopenta[a]phenanthrene-3,17-diol"?

I hope I've made myself clear enough, so clear that you can't help it but to understand what I'm talking about: everything is chemical. We use nutrients in their chemical forms, regardless of their sources.

*** Part 2: The chemical structures could be different

But hey... When I first made this point above, I said "in a sense", right? That's important. Because this way of looking at nutrients (that everything is chemical) is the basic and fundamental perspective that we all have to know and understand. But as I just said, this is the basic perspective. There are other aspects we have to consider as well when we talk about "natural" and "synthetic" nutrients.

One of the "other aspects" is the chemical structure of the nutrients.

If we look at it this way, then there is a difference between some (not all) "natural" and "synthetic" nutrients. For example, vitamin E. The natural form of vitamin E is "D-alpha tocopherol", while the synthetic form of it is "DL-alpha tocopherol". It doesn't take a genius to notice the extra "L" in the latter one. Why would such a difference exist? This is because the way the molecules are constructed naturally (by mother nature) and synthetically (in laboratories) are different. Yes, they are all chemicals, but they have different structures, thus their effects on our bodies are different.

In the case of this vitamin E, the "D" part of it is the one that can benefit us, while the "L" part is pretty much useless. So if a nutritional product has the synthetic form of vitamin E in it, you only get half of the total amount of vitamin E per serving, because the other half is useless. It's not dangerous or fatal (otherwise it would be banned already), but it's just useless.

So, in this sense, "natural" and "synthetic" have a difference. But this isn't everything about it.

*** Part 3: Nutrients do not work alone

Some people have a philosophical preference for obtaining nutrients from the entirety of a food (eating the whole thing so that everything a food has to offer is obtained) over obtaining nutrients from supplements that only include exactly what is needed. Actually, they have a point.

I'll take oranges for example. We all know oranges can give us vitamin C. And vitamin C, for the convenience of communication, is also referred to as "ascorbic acid". However, how many people know that ascorbic acid alone isn't really vitamin C? Not many. But it's a fact that if a nutritional product that provides vitamin C only has ascorbic acid in it, it's not really useful.

In an orange, there are ascorbic acid, bioflavonoids, co-factors, and many "other things" that come with it. Together, they're called "vitamin C". Ascorbic acid alone isn't vitamin C. Do we need all those "other things"? Oh yes! Very much!

Understand that nutrients do not work alone. They have to work together to have synergistic effects. This is one of the crucial criteria a nutritional product has to meet in order to be considered good. (There are other criteria, but they'll not be covered in this post.) Nutritional products that do not have the right nutrients (at the right amount for each) to allow the nutrients to complement each other aren't really giving you the benefits that you pay for.

This is another difference between "natural" and "synthetic" nutrients, and is another aspect that we have to look at when choosing nutritional products. A natural source is more likely to provide a comprehensive range of nutrients than a synthetic source.

However, there is something we need to understand.

Back to oranges. I give you an orange, and you eat it. You will have obtained everything the orange naturally has to offer, right? But what if I extract everything (every nutrient) found in that orange of yours and put them into a tablet? Do you think you're getting the same thing?

Some people say no, and some say yes. Actually, both are right. The difference is the fiber in the orange. If you eat the orange, you obtain fiber. If you only take the tablet, you don't have fiber. So if you count the fiber in, then eating an orange and taking the tablet (with every nutrient in the orange) do have a difference. If you don't count the fiber in, then you're getting the same thing nutrient-wise!

It all comes down to this key question: does a nutritional product include every nutrient needed to have synergistic effects?

When we eat the whole thing of a food, we obtain a more complete range of nutrients that, together, can actually work. So the challenge for nutritional products is that do they include all those nutrients in their formula? Do they actually put those nutrients in? Or do they only give you exactly what the product name says it gives? This is the key question you should ask, instead of (just) asking whether the ingredients are "natural" or "synthetic".

*** Part 4: Synthetically derived nutrients are NOT always inferior

The last thing I want to talk about in this post is another aspect of nutritional products that we have to understand. It is true that in some cases, naturally formed nutrients are better than synthetically formed ones, and in some other cases, both naturally and synthetically formed nutrients are as effective. However, you have to know that in some rare cases, synthetically formed nutrients are actually better than (and more practical than) naturally formed ones.

For example, folic acid.

Folic acid is usually synthetic, and it's not without reasons. Synthetically derived folic acid is more easily absorbed by our bodies than its natural counterpart. This is because natural food folates have to go through multiple conversion processes in order to become folic acid that our bodies can absorb and use.

In this sense, sometimes synthetically derived nutrients can have better quality and stability than naturally derived ones. What matters is how effective they are in carrying out their jobs and how safe they are. This will have to depend on how many research and tests the manufacturer of a nutritional product have done in order to test the potency, purity, and safety levels of the synthetically derived nutrients. Choose products that have gone through all of these tests.

Another thing is that not all nutrients are widely available in nature. Some nutrients are more difficult to obtain in large amounts from natural food, and thus it is not practical to go natural for those kinds of nutrients. As long as the synthetic version of those nutrients are safe (this is the priority) and equally effective, it is completely fine to go synthetic.

Come on, if a nutrient is rare, don't tell me you want to eat a few kilograms of something every day just to obtain that small (and insufficient) amount of it. It's simply not practical.

Alright. I must end this now.

If you've been with me throughout the entire post, I thank you for reading this. (Also give yourself a round of applause.) If this is the first time you're exposed to this kind of information, perhaps you might feel overwhelmed. But all these things are really important to know, so now you've learned quite some things.

Of course, you might question my credibility. So I must tell you, almost everything you read in this post isn't said by me. They're what the scientists have said, and they're what available on the Internet. After all, I'm not a genius. I'm just a person with common sense, like other people.

However, notice that I didn't cite any links, right? This is because most of my sources also recommend some kind of products, and I don't feel like advertising any product for free. So... yeah. I didn't cite anything.

So that's it. Thank you for reading.

Scary Kids of Today

2010-12-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

I went to a shopping mall.

Got something to do there.

Those who know me well would know that I like to observe people. So as I was walking, I was paying attention to the people around me as well. I didn't have to do it on purpose. It occurred very naturally.

Suddenly......
A fragile, tiny little kiddy voice sang, "I want.. nobody nobody but.. you!"

"Uuf!" I thought, "Who was that?!"
I turned, and a little girl, holding her mother's hand, walked past me.
"Woah! How old is she? 2? 2.5?" I couldn't help but to guess her age. And what did she just sing?!!

Kids nowadays...
Sigh.

2011?

2010-12-23T03:44:00.000+08:00

Time flies.
Perhaps too quickly.

2010 is the start of a new decade. And now less than half a month the next year of this decade is approaching.
I realize there are a hell lot of things I keep delaying until now and they're still yet to be done. Seriously, sometimes we can't help it that our New Year's resolutions are to work on previous New Year's resolutions.

Though, this year has been a good one.
I've learned quite a lot of things, and have seen a lot more things. Being busy isn't all that bad, but I prefer not to be busy if that's at all possible of course. Lol.

Next year will be another busy year for me. I know what's coming. Lots of tough subjects that I have to complete while I have to score all the way through.
I don't know. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I want to do in the future. Job-wise I mean. And it makes me feel there's-nothing-I-can-do to have to go through all the hard work in studies just to obtain a piece of paper.

At the end of the day it's still about money.
(Except those rare people who go for knowledge.)

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I spent 8 months cracking my head over what field I wanted to enter before I chose my area of study in college.
Now it seems like I'm going through the same thing all over again.

How fun.

Short Break

2010-12-19T05:18:00.000+08:00

No. This blog isn't abandoned.

Neither is the other one.

My previous semester was crazier than usual, so I didn't have the time to come here to even leave a footprint. (And there's Facebook that competes with my blogs for my attention.)
But now that everything has slowed down, I'm here again.

I'm going to make sure I'm not going to waste any one of my holi-days.

Extremely Busy

2010-10-07T07:31:00.000+08:00

I thought I could sit down in my own room, sip some tea, and do my own things.

No. I couldn't.
For the following weeks until the end of this month, I'll be squashed by assignments + non-academic work.

D*mn. I must find some time to cool my head off once in a while before everything explodes.

We're Not Stupid

2010-09-21T16:19:00.002+08:00

...at least most of us are not stupid.

But our parents never seem to (fully) realize this.

If you look back and examine the history of the human species, we kept improving ourselves and creating more tools and exploring more things in this world throughout all the previous millenniums. Each generation learned something, especially mistakes, from previous generations and that was how countless revolutions took place.

But this thing called "change"... is always painfully slow.
Either because we're not ready for it, or... we (younger people) are ready for it but people born in the previous generation stands in our way.

Not all changes are good. But certain ways of thinking clearly have to change. (It's impossible that our mindsets are all identical to our parents'.)

We're now in the Information Age. Almost everywhere we go, information is saturated. With the help of technology, we get to learn about things on a global scale every single day. The speed at which we're exposed to new information is many times faster than that of our parents when they were young.

As a result, what we know, our parents do not.
What our parents know might or might not be applicable to us.
This is totally fine. As long as they don't think they're always right!!

If you feel like your parents don't understand you, and constantly disagree with you, most probably because they cannot identify with you. It's not their fault they can't, because they don't have the capability to begin with. They weren't brought up and trained (by the environment and the society) in the same way as we were. And since they've lived for this many years, certain ways of their thinking are locked, inflexible, and virtually impossible to alter. (To make things worse, they don't seem to realize it.)

We're not stupid. We don't just accept everything we hear into our logical mind. After being told something, we would, like it or not, look for evidence in the real world to support (or reject) what we have been told.
Therefore, sometimes, what our parents tell us sounds untrue in our ears, because with their experiences in the past, it's true to them, but with our own experiences we've gathered so far, it's not true to us.
How can we accept what they tell us if it's like this?

It's fine. It's fine.
Actually it's not fine, but we can only proceed as if it was.
What our parents did, but shouldn't have done, to us, we don't do to our children.
What our parents did not do, but should have done, to us, we do to our children.

That's about the only thing we can do.

Totally Lost

2010-09-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

Well...... Not totally, but almost totally anyway.

For some reason, my feeling to blog has (almost) totally vanished, for the past month.
No, it won't be gone forever. That will never happen. This I know. But in the past few weeks something else has occupied my mind, and even now it's still there, and I don't feel like blogging anything yet so far.

There's another big change I have to do to my life now. I know I'd regret it big time (and be miserable) if I didn't carry out that change now. And there're quite some stuff I have to rethink about too.

With all these coming together...... I'd have to leave my blogs alone for some time.

I'll try to post "that which I should have posted" as soon as possible, but I'll have to first find my feeling back...

File Cleaning

2010-08-06T15:43:00.000+08:00

I had always wanted to do this but I didn't manage to, until now.
I mean cleaning the files in my computer.

They're already a mess after so many stuff are thrown in throughout all these years.

Oh... And after I'm done arranging things, I can finally start working on my everlastingly delayed post.
The big one's coming.

Poverty In Japan?

2010-07-30T04:10:00.002+08:00

See [this].

When we think of Japan, we think of its technologies, its creative people, its delicious food, its interesting culture, and pretty much everything representing a strong and proud nation.
But what do we have here...?

Of all the words, these appeal to me the most: "Experts and social workers say Japan’s poor can be deceptively hard to spot because they try hard to keep up the appearance of middle class comfort."
Try hard? Appearance?? It sounds all too familiar.

Another part: "Gaining wide attention here are statistics showing that one in seven children lives in poverty, one reason the new government has pledged to offer monthly payments of $270 per child and to cut the cost of high school education. Still, social workers say they fear that the poor will not be able to pay for cram schools and other expenses to enable their children to compete in Japan’s high-pressure education system, consigning them to a permanent cycle of low-wage work."
It's no fun to be a child with this burden to bear. This you-must-study-hard-so-that-you-can-get-a-good-job system in Japan is just saddening.

And this: "Ms. Sato expressed similar fears for her daughter, Mayu. Mayu wants to go to a vocational school to become a voice actress for animation, but Ms. Sato said she could not afford the $10,000 annual tuition."
Needless to say. We all know Japan is darn famous for its anime. But who on earth would expect to have to pay $10,000 per year just to learn how to use one's voice to act in anime?! I sure wouldn't expect so.

Painful.
This is a painful world we're living in. In many senses.

It's All FB's Fault!

2010-07-27T05:23:00.000+08:00

......Or is it?

Due to the convenient feature that lets you post your so-called "status" on Facebook, what used to be posted here has gone there!
But regardless, there are some things that can only be posted here, and I already know what I'm going to talk about in this relatively short holiday of mine.

Anyway, this is just a short update.
So yeah. Next time.

StarCraft 2 (Awesome) Soundtrack

2010-07-10T02:40:00.010+08:00

Crap. I beat my own record by posting 2 times consecutively about entertainment! The last time I did this was... never.

Alright. This one-of-a-kind thing is going to be released very soon. But thanks to a friend of mine, I actually got to get my hands on StarCraft 2 Beta and try it out a little bit. Now I know how most of the things work in SC2. Muahahahaha.

SC2 is not only great in its gameplay. When I was playing it, the soundtrack really hit me. Below are some of the BGMs you can hear in SC2.

By the way, I have the original files, so the music is crystal clear from my speakers. But since these are from YouTube uploaded by other people, the music might not be that clear here.

Let's begin with the main theme.

SC2 Main Theme

Nostalgic, isn't it? The beginning 55 seconds will sound extremely familiar to your ears. (Assuming that you were or are a SC player.) They're just the enhanced version of the main theme from SC1.

And the first 26 seconds out of the 55 are golden! You should turn the volume up. No joke.

But uh... After 55 seconds, what follows is reminiscent of something...... Ah hah! Star Wars! Lol! I find it really weird to hear something like that in SC. That part isn't really appropriate, I think.

Now, one of the Protoss themes.

SC2 Protoss Theme 01

I'm not sure why but all Protoss themes sound fairly... bland, no matter they're from SC1 or SC2. Can't they be more stimulating? They're not exciting, and they're not peaceful either. Hmm.

Nevertheless, I'm still a Protoss player. Huh huh huh hahahahaha~

SC2 Terran Theme 02

Now this is something. They really make it sound human (as opposed to Protoss and Zerg). Easy-going and laid back. Terran-like. Good.

SC2 Zerg Theme 04

Oh my gosh!! Out of the 6 Zerg themes from SC2 Beta, this one is really Zerg!! It wickedly squeezes all the Zerg juice along in the music!!! Evil. Eerie. CREEPY! *Shiver*

They could shoot a horror movie with this already.

And this is the theme music of the Battle.Net login screen...

SC2 Battle.Net Screen Main Theme

Argh! Turn up your volume!! Feel the thrill!! The first 45 seconds are PURE AWESOMENESS!!! If you have the music file, blast it with surround sound! (Of course, the sound quality of your copy must be sharp and clear.)

Okays. That's all for now. If you're a StarCraft fan and love its soundtrack, go to YouTube, as you already know. There are ways to get the original files too, but I'm not going to tell you how because it's not really...... good. And I bet you already know what I'm talking about anyway. *Wink*

"The Last Airbender" - Oh Am Gee

2010-07-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

M. Night Shyamalan just butchered The Last Airbender movie. Urgh.

Everyone is criticizing him and the film. And I agree.
The characters are inactive. The acting is not good. The story is too rushed. And the plot is a mess! A hell lot more could have been shown but they didn't do it. The details of the original story are lacking. Confusion is easily everywhere.

Why is the film just 1.5 hours anyway?!? If it were 2.5 or 3 hours it would've been better. The film seriously needs more time for plot expansion. They should even consider doing 6 episodes for all 3 Books. Now with just 1 episode for each, everything is a mess. People who have watched the original cartoon series would still understand what's going on, but people who haven't would be totally lost! Lots of things aren't explained. Lots of details about the Fire Nation and Zuko aren't shown. And they show Aang having a hard time learning water-bending, which isn't the case in the original series. He has a hard time learning earth-bending, not any other bendings.

Oh... And the 3D...... I read that it is pointless. I don't know how is that but people are saying the 3D is pointless.

Anyway, even though I know it's not really good, I'm going to watch it in 3D nevertheless. I'll see how it turns out.

Good Reading

2010-06-17T15:13:00.001+08:00

I mean blogs.

I have just finished taking a good dose of blog-reading a while ago.
Very nice. Can explore other people and get to know different perspectives and thinking even when I'm all alone in front of my computer in my room. Uh... As opposed to meeting them in person.

Recently, this blog has a lit~tle bit more readers somehow. I know my blogs don't have that many readers because I don't really promote my blogs on purpose, but the increase is still noticeable. Oh... Please don't ask me how I know that. (Coz it's a secret. *Shhh...*)

That's it. I'll be attending a meeting soon. (Sounds like a big boss. But I'm not.)
So have a good day.

Signing off.

No Reason

2010-06-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

There is not really a reason for this long pause. Not every time you could come up with a reason to explain why you don't feel like writing anything.

Anyway, lots of things have happened again in these recent days. I've seen a lot more. About the world, about humans, about friends, about some of my friends in particular, and about myself. To be honest, some of the things I discovered recently are nothing except pure annoyance. And among them, most are what I can do nothing about.

That's how the world is.

I have been having lots of "tea-drinking sessions" with quite a number of my friends in the past few weeks. I must say, we're no longer as young as we used to be. *Sigh*
When we're in one moment, experiencing it, we'll say time is slow. When we've gone 5 years after that and look back, we'll say time passes quickly. All this talk really makes the opinion whether time is fast or slow meaningless.

It doesn't matter any more. It doesn't matter to begin with, even. What matters is how well we use our time to do useful things. (And I'm pretty bad at that.)

This term, so far, has been relaxing. If it goes on like this, it's going to be smooth-sailing throughout the entire term. And you don't have to guess that I love it. I'm already loving it.
About 6 to 7 weeks from now will be my holiday. That's when I really need to make really good use of my time before my term system changes into semester system and things get heated up. Let's just hope things won't boil.

I've written enough for this post. I'm going to need some good sleep for tomorrow's morning class.
So yeah. See you.

When Sweetness Turned Bitter

2010-05-12T22:53:00.002+08:00

It was half past eleven in the morning.

I carried my belongings and stepped up the back of a small lorry that had been modified to take people. I thought, "So... I can finally leave this training camp and go home and do my stuff." Feeling good, I sat down on the back of that truck together with my friends, turning back to see a second small lorry that also took people. The camp site was at a higher ground, inaccessible to buses. With only those two lorries as transport, I had no choice but to endure the searing heat under the bright sun as we travelled down the area. The lorries would have to go back up later to fetch other students down.

At the lower ground, buses were ready. I quickly got off the lorry and walked towards one of them. The cool air in the bus hit my face as I stood in front of the door, setting my foot in. "Ahh... I'm here again," I thought, looking for a seat. Somehow, my friends and I chose the same seats as the ones we sat on when we were on our way to the camp. Now that we were going to go back, everyone was happy, excitedly discussing the experience during the camp and what they would do after the trip.

Then came the fateful moment... of chaos.

"Look! What are they doing?" The chit chat was completely disrupted by a sudden, out-of-topic question. Another friend asked, "Why are they running back up the hill?" Curious, I turned my head to see a group of guys dashing back on the path we came from. "Huh? What's happening?" I thought. Before I even tried to ask that question, someone answered it, "They said one of the lorries has flipped!" "HAH?!" I uttered in surprise. The news spread faster than I knew it did, and everyone in every bus hurried out and ran back up the hill.

So I ran, ran, ran, and ran, silently wishing that this was just a hoax. Looking around, I saw everyone wearing different expressions, from serious to shocked to... well, excited. Not knowing where the site of the accident was, I just followed everyone else and kept running. In a minute or two, I finally arrived.

Cries. Screams. Blood. Tears. What I saw was a scene of fear, pain, and confusion. It was a mess. My sight first landed on a male student who was sitting on the ground with a bleeding forehead and arms. Then I saw a girl sitting in the middle of the path, crying, screaming in pain as her friends tried to move her left leg. From the intensity of her cries, anyone could easily guess there was a fracture in her. Her friends then immediately stopped moving her. She also had a bleeding forehead and arms. I then saw another girl sitting at the side, soundless and expressionless, responding only with screams of pain when her wound on her right arm was washed with water by her friends. "She must be in shock," I said to myself. There were several other injured students sitting on the ground around the place while being tended to by helpers and their friends. Other people were trying hard to call the ambulance.

Seeing all this, some other uninvolved students began taking pictures. I also did reach for my phone in my pocket, but I withdrew my hand without the phone. I felt it was inappropriate.

Scanning around the area, I saw drips of blood on the ground and the grass. A few of the small plants were already covered in blood. Then my sight shifted to the flipped truck. The lorry was off the very steep path and was on its right side in a very shallow river with some small rocks protruding out of it. But wait... Looking more closely, I realized that the lorry was exactly the one I got on when I came down! According to others, this was its third round coming down. I went for the first round. If I were to wait any longer to get on the lorry, I could be there among the victims!!

Anyway, at this point, without my intentional attempt, I was already trying to reconstruct every stage of the accident in my mind. I concluded that the victims must had had a painful hit on the back of the main metal box in front of the lorry that housed the driver. Another probable conclusion was that they were thrown out of the back of the lorry and hit something else as the lorry flipped. Both, or other events, could have happened. No one knew how the accident unfolded except the victims themselves.

All of a sudden, I heard someone scolding very loudly. It was one of the students, but I did not think he was involved in the accident as he was totally uninjured. I saw him looking up the steep slope and fiercely shouting at someone whom I could not see, until his friends calmed him down and pulled him aside. It could be the driver he was shouting at. What happened to the driver and whether the driver acted irresponsibly during and after the accident, I did not and do not know. What the driver did and how the accident occurred are still unclear so far, as I've heard several versions of the story. After the harsh chiding stopped, I turned around and continued to digest the situation for a quick while before one of the trainers asked everyone who was not involved to go back down and wait. I went away with the crowd.

While waiting, everyone discussed with each other, exchanging bits and pieces of information about the accident. I looked around, and saw a male student with a bleeding nose. It was at this time that I was told that it was he who jumped off the truck immediately after the accident and ran all the way down, with injuries. He had a bloody head, bleeding nose, and injured hips. The guys in the group that I mentioned before instantly noticed his injuries and was told about the accident. If it wasn't for him, no one would have known that one of the lorries had flipped. Next, I was told that the girl with fractured legs also suffered relatively serious injuries of the arms and the head. She was drifting in and out of consciousness while her friends kept calling her name and talking to her to try to keep her conscious. She was one of the most seriously injured victims.

A pang of bitterness struck me while I was waiting below. I wished I could offer some help, but I had no idea how to go about it and what I could do, if there was anything I could do at all. I was deeply pained by the fact that the victims had to suffer in this way. After a while, an ambulance arrived. My heavy mood was more relieved with the sight of the ambulance. After another 10 minutes or so, a second ambulance came.

The wait took about 2 hours in total. At that point, all injured students were already on their way to the hospital. Only then was everyone told to get into the buses and be ready to leave. On the bus, everyone was quiet. The previous happy, relaxed atmosphere was lost completely and was replaced by heavy silence. No one spoke. Those who wanted to speak with friends only whispered. Everything sweet... had turned bitter.

By half past four, the buses arrived at the college campus. I had finally returned. Then, shortly after I stepped out of the bus, I received the news that all injured students were now stable in the hospital. "That's wonderful to hear," I thought.

Isn't life so fragile?

The more one understands this, the less time in life one wastes on useless things.

Pessimistic?

2010-04-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

Hmm...

I've always seen myself as being realistic. Of course, seeing isn't enough. I'm also actually being realistic. No, my "realistic-ness" isn't cold logic and cold blood. It's more like the absence of optimism and pessimism.

But whenever someone asks me if I'm pessimistic, half of my feeling seems to agree! Why?

This was what I was thinking about a while ago. Why do I seem to agree to an extent that I'm pessimistic? I thought (and felt) for a while, and I found the answer.

You know, there are 2 kinds of pessimism, in my opinion. One real, one fake.

What do I mean? The real one is the reasonless tendency to think and feel towards the direction of negativity. You try to predict the outcome of an event, and you do so in a negative light. This is really... well, pessimistic.
The so-called fake one is the reasonable, volitional, and conscious act of thinking and feeling more negatively about something. In this case, you know what you're doing. With the real pessimism you most probably don't know why you're so.

I have the fake one.
In my life, disappointment is something I can feel quite deeply if it occurs. To avoid that from happening, I would tend not to get my hopes up so as to evade the feeling of disappointment. This makes me look as though I'm pessimistic, but I'm not really. Because sometimes things do go wrong at the worst possible time, I tend to think a bit negatively first so that I'm somewhat prepared to face what's about to come, if it's something bad.

I'm afraid of failure, in a sense. Everybody does. It's just a matter of how well you can cope with it. As for me, I'd tend to "cope" with it even before it happens! After all, the higher you jump, the more painful you fall.

Looooooonnngg Delay

2010-04-25T17:59:00.001+08:00

There is a reason.
Or rather, there is a reasonless reason.

I also don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, the long silence here has finally been broken. My mood just wasn't in the right state for me to actually want to post anything up. Part of the cause might be the due dates of my assignments and presentations.

My holiday is approaching again. It's just 3 weeks (even though I know my friends in other colleges and universities are enjoying holiday for months), but it's better than nothing. These coming 3 golden shiny weeks can allow me to do all the stuff that can't be done without holiday. (D*mn. Suddenly, life feels so pathetic.) Of course, that should include completing my next post, which has been stalled since months ago, for my other blog.

Oh... and then I found a nice little application on Facebook that will post the feeds from your blog to your Wall automatically. (That means this post should already be on Facebook.) I went to the application page a while ago and searched "blog". Then I came across that tool. I tried it out, and it seems good for now.
Hmm......

Let Me Rest First

2010-03-10T18:04:00.001+08:00

Yes. After I've had enough rest, I'll write something here. For now, it's de-stress time.

*Sips tea*

Greeting

2010-02-08T18:08:00.002+08:00

Do you like to greet people?

I do.
Well, of course, I don't, when the other person treats me as if I were invisible.

Usually, I'd definitely greet people I know when I encounter them while walking around. Greeting people (and they greet back) makes me feel warm inside. Don't you like being greeted? I don't think there's anyone out there who hates this.

Today in campus, I was busy thinking about something while reading my notes and walking, on my way to somewhere else. Then a friend of mine tapped my shoulder. I turned, and she said "hi" with a smile. I "hi"-ed back and smiled. Very quick. The whole thing didn't even last 2 seconds, but it worked wonders.
Then another encounter with another friend of mine. Then another. And another. (I don't know why there were that many today.)

You know, people greet you means they care to notice you. They bother to actually see you and not make you feel invisible. In a sense, they don't take your presence for granted. They recognize your presence through that simple, small, quick, but effective interaction.
How sweet. Being greeted by others might just be the thing that brightens our day!

Isn't greeting people such a good thing?

Getting Outdated

2010-02-08T17:41:00.002+08:00

No, I mean my other blog. Not myself.

I just went there a while ago and read a bit of my old posts, and I thought, "Woah. Did I really think like this back then?!"
Lol!! Those posts that I read were really quite old. (And I'm changing so quickly.)

I'm still finding time (and mood) to do some "cleaning" over there. When would that moment come? I wonder.

Peh- / Pee- (dophilia)?

2010-02-08T17:35:00.002+08:00

Pedophilia.

We all know what that is. But do we know how it's pronounced?

In my psychology classes, I heard people saying "pee-dophile". But I myself am more inclined to say "peh-dophile". So I made a quick search online and realized that...

"Peh-dophile" is US's.

"Pee-dophile" is UK's.

Ooohh... So both are acceptable.

"But I'm different!"

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Sigh. How annoying it could be when one is forced to say this but must hold back because saying it is totally pointless and is so not cool.

Admit it. We would all love to think that we're different. At least in some moments of our life. We think we're different when we don't understand others, when others don't understand us, or... when we really are different.

Stop making me say that! Even if I really am different, it'd make me look like an immature, ignorant (or even arrogant) idiot if I go on and say "But I'm different!" Yet, sometimes, I really need to say that but must choose not to nevertheless, because, as said, that would make me look like a fool!

And heck, I do realize this!!