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<channel>
	<title>Restless Virgins: Love, Sex, and Survival at a New England Prep School</title>
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	<description />
	<pubDate>Thu, 12 Feb 2009 13:49:34 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Still searching for holiday presents?</title>
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		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=156#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:51:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Restless Virgins makes a great gift for parents, teenagers, and everyone in between.  You can order the paperback on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, or pick it up in your local bookstore.  Happy holidays!

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Restless Virgins</em> makes a great gift for parents, teenagers, and everyone in between.  You can order the paperback on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Restless-Virgins-Love-Survival-School/dp/0061192066/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1229611434&amp;sr=8-1">Amazon</a> and <a href="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Restless-Virgins/Abigail-Jones/e/9780061192067/?itm=3">Barnes and Noble</a>, or pick it up in your local bookstore.  Happy holidays!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>So you want your son to be Michael Phelps, too?</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/ceWDodeR6ng/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=154#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:36:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Highlights]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=154</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I was a little girl, my parents exposed me to many sports to see what I liked best.  Ice skating didn’t last (my skinny legs caved after a few minutes), and basketball was a total disaster (I was on the defeated team).  Eventually I found my athletic niche when I picked up [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When I was a little girl, my parents exposed me to many sports to see what I liked best.  Ice skating didn’t last (my skinny legs caved after a few minutes), and basketball was a total disaster (I was on the defeated team).  Eventually I found my athletic niche when I picked up tennis in elementary school and squash in seventh grade.  Over the years, my talents became clear: individual sports were my thing.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/images1.jpeg" title="images1.jpeg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/images1.thumbnail.jpeg" alt="images1.jpeg" /></a></p>
<p>I went on to play varsity squash at Dartmouth, and I continue to play today, but how much better would I have been had I started playing years earlier?  What if there’d been a way for my parents to know which sports I’d excel at most?  Now there is.</p>
<p>With a simple mouth swap, a controversial new test tells parents which sports their children should play.  DNA analysis of the ACTN3 gene identifies whether your child is better suited to speed and power sports, like football and sprinting, or endurance sports, like long distance running, or both.  For details on the science behind the test, read the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/sports/30genetics.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=2&amp;em"><em>New York Times</em> coverage from last week</a>.</p>
<p>Experts are divided over the study.  Some see it as an exciting development, with the potential to help parents steer their children in the right direction.  Others are wary of its effects.  Youth sports are notorious for over-involved moms and dads living out their own athletic dreams through their children; this test would only magnify the pressure and expectation surrounding success.  And now with growing pressure to gain an edge for college admissions, the test could mean that the overachiever experience starts younger and younger, with less enjoyment along the way.  One scientist says the test will be far more important for elite athletes rather than five-year olds with parents looking for that future college edge.</p>
<p>What do you think?  Personally, I’d be intrigued to know what the test says about me now, as a young woman in my twenties, but I’m glad my parents let me find my way as a young girl.  Based on those initial failings on ice and in team sports, I have a hunch I would have ended up on the squash court anyway.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>And the most promiscuous nation is…</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/djL8C_55xu0/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=152#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:51:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=152</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I lived in the U.K. for a year during graduate school, I encountered the following assumption: American women hook up more casually than British women, and are far more likely to perform oral sex.  I heard it time after time from my British friends, but it turns out that stereotypes don’t always stem [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When I lived in the U.K. for a year during graduate school, I encountered the following assumption: American women hook up more casually than British women, and are far more likely to perform oral sex.  I heard it time after time from my British friends, but it turns out that stereotypes don’t always stem from fact.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/images.jpeg" title="images.jpeg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/images.thumbnail.jpeg" alt="images.jpeg" /></a></p>
<p>A new study found that Brits are the most promiscuous of the Western nations.  The United States came in sixth, behind Germany, the Netherlands, the Czech Republic, and Australia, in that order.</p>
<p>The study measured one-night stands, sexual partners, and attitudes to casual sex.  According to the <em>Times</em>, researchers say that women are now just as socially liberated to engage in “no-strings sex as men,” and they’re certainly correct, but I never would have guessed that Britain would lead the pack.  Would you?  Check it out <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5257166.ece">here</a> and let me know.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Dating Tips for Teens, from 1966</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/tpmpK43eSwM/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=151#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:23:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Marissa</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=151</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over Thanksgiving I spent some serious time in my parents&#8217; attic going through boxes of things I&#8217;ve collected over the years. I was trying to get rid of stuff, but I ended up finding such gems that I had a difficult time doing so. Gems that weren&#8217;t even mine to begin with! Like Emily Post&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Over Thanksgiving I spent some serious time in my parents&#8217; attic going through boxes of things I&#8217;ve collected over the years. I was trying to get rid of stuff, but I ended up finding such gems that I had a difficult time doing so. Gems that weren&#8217;t even mine to begin with! Like Emily Post&#8217;s original tome on etiquette. Or this priceless book from Benjamin Darling: <em>Tips for Teens. </em>Parts of it are absurdly outdated, but I found this bit timeless, found under the &#8220;Petting Particulars&#8221; section:</p>
<p><strong>&#8220;Your Own Feeling of Rightness and Wrongness&#8221; </strong></p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;You can gauge where to stop by how you feel after various kinds of dates. If you feel embarrassed about what you did on last night&#8217;s date when you wake up in the morning, you probably overstepped your own sense of what is right. If you find it hard to look into each other&#8217;s eyes when you next meet, then apparently you both feel that what you have done was not quite as it should have been. But if you awaken after a date with a feeling of happiness and joy of living, if you find yourself eagerly looking forward to seeing your date again, if you like being together, working together, sharing all sorts of things with each other, then it probably means that your physical love-making is not out of hand.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Thank you, Mr. Darling, for this old-school yet solid advice.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Ripped from the Headlines</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/CLP3YjG3JU8/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=149#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:12:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=149</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, the new episode of Law &#38; Order: Special Victims Unit involved a group of high school girls who decided to get pregnant together.  Sound familiar?  I thought so.  Even though some of the details differ from the Gloucester, MA, news story (the girls in the show attend a Catholic prep [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last week, the new episode of <em>Law &amp; Order: Special Victims Unit</em> involved a group of high school girls who decided to get pregnant together.  Sound familiar?  I thought so.  Even though some of the details differ from the Gloucester, MA, news story (the girls in the show attend a Catholic prep school in Manhattan, and there is a murder involved), the plot and its characters ooze with real-life references.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/images1.jpeg" title="images1.jpeg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/images1.thumbnail.jpeg" alt="images1.jpeg" /></a></p>
<p>Fidelia, one of the pregnant girls, made a promise with her boyfriend to abstain from sex until marriage (hello Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus).  But then Fidelia, channeling Jamie Lynne Spears, gets pregnant, only this time it’s with another guy’s baby.</p>
<p>“It rocks, huh?  We’re totally gonna be the hottest MILFs on the block,” she says to Detective Olivia Benson, who stares back at her in disbelief.  “A baby is not an accessory,” Benson replies.  “It is not a bracelet or a pair of earrings or a slammin&#8217; pair of jeans. . . Do you know the odds of a teen mom finishing high school?  Forget college or any other dream that you might have.  Life as you know it is over now.”</p>
<p>Fidelia’s pregnant friend offers a scary and arguably obvious reaction: “What&#8217;s the big deal?  That Vice President lady&#8217;s daughter is gonna have a baby, why can&#8217;t we?”</p>
<p><em>Law &amp; Order</em> is known for its “ripped from the headlines” episodes, but you can find controversial news stories and cultural issues all over TV dramas these days.  Have you seen any?  Write and let me know.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Read This</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/TgYEKSeaBM4/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=148#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:54:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some recent articles to read:
Here’s why social networking sites—and the entire Internet in general—may not be such a bad thing for your teen.
Click here
Here’s more on the TV sensation “Twilight,” which is based on the bestselling series “The Twilight Saga”—and which the New York Times calls &#8220;a deeply sincere, outright goofy vampire romance for the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Some recent articles to read:</p>
<p>Here’s why social networking sites—and the entire Internet in general—may not be such a bad thing for your teen.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/us/20internet.html">Click here</a></p>
<p>Here’s more on the TV sensation “Twilight,” which is based on the bestselling series “The Twilight Saga”—and which the <em>New York Times</em> calls &#8220;a deeply sincere, outright goofy vampire romance for the hot-not-to-trot abstinence set.&#8221;</p>
<p><a href="http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/movies/21twil.html?8dpc">Click here<br />
</a></p>
<p>Here’s what <em>Healthy Living</em> thinks your teenage should know about sex.  Sound familiar?</p>
<p><a href="http://http://living.health.com/2008/10/10/6-things-your-teen-needs-to-know-about-sex/">Click here</a><a href="http://living.health.com/2008/10/10/6-things-your-teen-needs-to-know-about-sex/"><br />
</a></p>
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		<title>Tyra Banks gives more reasons why we need to talk about sex</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/mBF3i07-B2Q/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=147#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Nov 2008 02:13:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Marissa</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=147</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last Friday, Tyra Banks shared findings from a study her show conducted on the social and sexual experiences of 10,000 young women.
Among the findings:
* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
* 52 percent of survey respondents [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last Friday, Tyra Banks shared findings from a study her show conducted on the social and sexual experiences of 10,000 young women.</p>
<p>Among the findings:</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px">* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.<br />
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.<br />
* 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.<br />
* One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.<br />
* 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.</p>
<p>Tyra was evidently surprised by these datapoints. Not surprisingly, I&#8217;m not. What Tyra&#8217;s show found mirrored what Abigail and I uncovered reporting and writing <span style="font-style: italic">Restless Virgins</span>. Doesn&#8217;t this comment, which <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27706917/#">Tyra later made to Matt Lauer on the <span style="font-style: italic">Today</span> show</a>, sound familiar?</p>
<p style="margin-left: 40px">“[Teens] are not talking to their parents; they’re embarrassed to talk to their parents,” Banks said. “And more than them being embarrassed to talk to their parents, their parents are embarrassed to talk to them. So they&#8217;re finding all [about] sex education with their friends, with their peers.&#8221;</p>
<p>Tyra&#8217;s findings strengthen the message we&#8217;ve been trying to get out for the past 14 months since our book first came out: many kids are engaging in risky behavior, and many parents are sitting by, passively. It&#8217;s wonderful that Tyra is taking this issue to heart, and using her popular tv show to broadcast the issue. But more than sounding the alarm she - and we - need to do something.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s no one answer - it&#8217;s hard to talk about sex! - and certainly we&#8217;ve put forth many ideas here. But we need more. So if you have one you want to share, please <a href="emailto:restlessvirginsthebook@gmail.com">email us</a>.</p>
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		<title>Mariah Carey Latest Celeb to Say She Waited for Marriage (at least this time around)</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/e89NZ9USRmM/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=145#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:01:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=145</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, Mariah Carey announced that she and her new husband, Nick Cannon, waited to have sex until marriage.  Whether or not you believe her is hardly the point.  Carey joins a growing list of Hollywood celebs (think: Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers) who are publicizing their decisions to wait. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last week, Mariah Carey announced that she and her new husband, Nick Cannon, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/09/mariah-carey-nick-and-i-w_n_142428.html" title="Mariah Carey">waited to have sex until marriage</a>.  Whether or not you believe her is hardly the point.  Carey joins a growing list of Hollywood celebs (think: Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers) who are publicizing their decisions to wait.  Granted, most of these stars are teenagers (Carey is in her late thirties and on her second marriage; it&#8217;s a safe bet she&#8217;s not a virgin), but this public pursuit of purity has gotten a lot of attention.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/s-mariah-large.jpg" title="s-mariah-large.jpg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/s-mariah-large.thumbnail.jpg" alt="s-mariah-large.jpg" /></a></p>
<p>The Jonas Brothers’ may be fully committed to abstinence, but their performances are, ironically, all about sex.  Case in point: the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.  There the boys are, singing on stage, arching their backs, enticing a crowd of screaming females.  We’re supposed to think that their performance is not sexual because they wear purity rings, but in front of the band is a crowd of girls who watch, cry, and shriek with gyrating hips.  It’s basically one big hypothetical orgasm, sans contact.</p>
<p>Will the virginity pledges work?  Last year, the <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/13/AR2007041301003.html" title="Washington Post reported"><em>Washington Post</em> reported</a> that a congressional study determined that abstinence-only education does not stop teens from having sex, nor does it increase or decrease the likelihood that a teenager will use condoms.  But “American Idol” winner Jordan Sparks thinks such pledges are legit.  After MTV VMA host Russell Brand mocked the Jonas Brothers for their purity, Sparks famously said, “I just have one thing to say about promise rings.  It&#8217;s not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.”</p>
<p>The misconception is, of course, obvious; having sex and hooking up in high school doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a slut.</p>
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		<title>Teens are what they see</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/5eo1VE9e2TY/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=143#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:17:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Marissa</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Still screen shot from Halo 3]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What teens watch and do on television - and the computer - have a lasting impact on their behavior. Last week, <a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=140">Abigail wrote about a study linking sexual content on TV with teenage pregnancy</a>. Well, this week it&#8217;s all about linking violent video games - like Halo, a video game popular with the boys in our book, and Halo 2 and 3, games popular today - with violent behavior. Teens are what they see, it seems.</p>
<p align="center"><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/snapshot-2008-11-11-00-15-10.jpg" title="snapshot-2008-11-11-00-15-10.jpg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/snapshot-2008-11-11-00-15-10.jpg" alt="snapshot-2008-11-11-00-15-10.jpg" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/122/5/e1067">A new study out this month in <em>Pediatrics</em></a> reveals that when tweens and teens are exposed to violent behavior in video games, they tend to become violent and aggressive themselves. Researchers conducted the study on teens in Japan and the United States over a school year, and concluded that across cultures, &#8220;playing violent video games is a significant risk factor for later physically aggressive behavior.&#8221;</p>
<p>Halo is just one series in a crowded market of violent games. Thought it&#8217;s rated M (for Mature, because of its blood, gore, mild language, and violence) and &#8220;may be suitable for persons ages 17 and older,&#8221; there&#8217;s little blocking a younger teen from accessing the game, and then imitating it later on.</p>
<p>We shouldn&#8217;t be surprised by this. It&#8217;s a straight forward case of monkey see, monkey do. We can&#8217;t expect that teens will instinctively know that what they see is not what they should do. So we need to be mindful of what media they&#8217;re exposed to, and continue talking with them about it, too.</p>
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		<title>Link found between teen pregnancy and the amount of sexual content teens watch on TV</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RestlessVirginsTheBook/~3/oxpuzG5mGRA/</link>
		<comments>http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=140#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:44:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Abigail</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/?p=140</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Teens who watch television with more sexual content are twice as likely to experience a pregnancy as teens who watch less sexual content, a new Rand Corporation study reports.

The news comes during a year that witnessed the pregnancies of high profile teenagers Jamie Lynne Spears and Bristol Palin - who no doubt play into the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Teens who watch television with more sexual content are twice as likely to experience a pregnancy as teens who watch less sexual content, a new <a href="http://www.rand.org/news/press/2008/11/03/index.html" title="Rand Corporation study">Rand Corporation study reports</a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/images.jpeg" title="images.jpeg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/images.thumbnail.jpeg" alt="images.jpeg" /></a></p>
<p>The news comes during a year that witnessed the pregnancies of high profile teenagers Jamie Lynne Spears and Bristol Palin - who no doubt play into the media&#8217;s focus on sex, or at least its potential consequences - not to mention the 18 teens in Gloucester, MA.   A few years ago, a Kaiser Family Foundation study found that sex scenes on television doubled between 1998 and 2005, with primetime television shows averaging nearly 6 sexual scenes per hour.  That was before <em>Gossip Girl</em> and the new <em>90210</em>.</p>
<p>The Rand researchers advocate for exactly what Marissa and I have been suggesting ever since <em>Restless Virgins</em> came out last fall: Parents must talk with their children.  So watch <em>Gossip Girl</em>, the <em>Real World</em>, and all the other shows that showcase or romanticize sex.  It may be impossible to control what your teen watches on YouTube or downloads off of iTunes, but parents CAN be there for their children.  If they aren&#8217;t, these TV shows will be.</p>
<p>One final thought: On October 27, the Candies Foundation ran a full-page ad in the <em>New York Times</em> about teenage pregnancy, which began, in large white and pink letters, &#8220;AMERICA, WAKE-UP! WE HAVE AN EPIDEMIC!&#8221;  Take a look below, and talk about it with your teens:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/mod-478631_candiesfounation_adpdf.jpg" title="mod-478631_candiesfounation_adpdf.jpg"><img src="http://www.restlessvirginsthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/mod-478631_candiesfounation_adpdf.jpg" alt="mod-478631_candiesfounation_adpdf.jpg" /></a></p>
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