I was thinking about all of the things I've tried in the past couple of years of working on my stuff (also known as learning more about myself and why I do the things I do).
The list is long - and goes from seemingly ordinary (like writing in a journal) to seemingly out-of-the-ordinary (like soul retrieval).
But really, it all boils down to one thing: learning to listen to myself. Not my mind - that was the only thing I ever used to listen to - but my body and my inner wisdom.
And somehow the listening slowly changed everything.
I was going to write an entirely different post today, but I was finishing The Rainmaker while watching lunch (it's an old movie with Katherine Hepburn as a lonely ranch girl and Burt Lancaster as a con man). When I found myself writing down a quote from the movie, I just had to share it.
"There's no such thing as a plain woman. Every real woman is pretty. They're all pretty in a different way, but they're all pretty. .. Don't let [someone else] be your looking glass. [That's] in the wrong place. It's got to be inside you. Don't be afraid - look." - Burt Lancaster as Starbuck
It is such a good reminder.
If you were at my house right now, it would look like I am baking bread. Which I am. But what I am really doing is practicing the art of imperfection.
You see, my first batch never rose, even though I spent over a day trying to get it to do so. It was most frustrating. (I know the yeast was good because I tested it.)
This would normally make me want to give up altogether. That's what I (want to) do when I feel frustrated that I can't get something right in what seems like a "normal" amount of time.
Instead, I am trying again. Even though I had to throw out the first batch. Even though I have no guarantee that this batch will turn out any better.
I do have troubles with perfectionism. I know this. It's a very old pattern. Who knew that making bread would give me a way to play with it.
While on a walk today, I was thinking I should add to my list of things I've learned from the pup. So, without further ado, here are a few more items.
The importance of napping.
It's good for the body and soul.
If you are interested in something, pursue it.
It doesn't matter whether other people think you should be interested in it or not. They're not you.
If you can't get to something directly, don't give up.
Try something else. Approach from the side. Circle around. Take a few steps back. Just try something. Anything.
Be curious.
But at the same time, be cautious when necessary. It's ok to approach things slowly.
If the weather is awful, why force yourself to go outside.
Being outside can be fun. Don't turn it into a should.