Retire In Style Blog

What would living alone be like? New York Times article starts a discussion!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 11:49:00 PST

I was wandering around on the web last night when I stumbled on an article in the New York Times called One is the Quirkiest Number written by Steven Kurutz. I think that every senior couple has this "number" on their mind. I know the idea that my husband or I will have to face a life alone sooner or later does not make us happy. I suppose that is why I read the article (and several blog posts related to it) from beginning to end. I wondered, "How would that be?" One of the singles featured in the article was Ronnie Bennett (age 70) over at Time Goes By. This is what she had to say our chances of being alone:

...in old age, we are more likely than young and mid-age people to be forced into single living after the kids are grown and/or a spouse dies.

Eccentric Behavior:
The New York Times article talked about the eccentricities singles living alone develop. While the solo life style allows singles the freedom to come and go without anyone questioning them, it also allows them to indulge in unusual behaviors. They can take a shower with their clothes on (The Accidental Tourist) and wander around naked eating bananas peel and all. When no one is watching they can do as they please. It does have it pitfalls too. When one woman went to work wearing a blouse and tights but forgot her skirt, a second pair of eyes at home and not a subway full of people would have been better. In most women's cases though, I think you will find that they feel living with a spouse/partner is no guarantee that those second pair of eyes will actually check to see if you are properly dressed! I know that I have gone out looking like a clown a number of times.

For the aging senior, a life of solitude can be the straw that breaks the camels back. In my family the walls finally closed in leaving dementia in one case. I knew an older woman that was widow for many years. She began answering the front door naked. Her eccentric behavior actually did not hurt anyone but it was surely a sign that she needed some company. That kind of behavior leave no doubt in peoples mind that there is something very wrong.

I also think that ageism plays a big part in the perception of a senior's behavior. The quirky behaviors that young people exhibit when they live alone for an extended period of time can spill over into their daily lives without much damage. But when a senior exhibits the same behaviors families and friends get worried. So when older people do "quirky" things, it does not mean that they have lost their marbles. Some actually choose to do most things because it works for them and not because of their age. Bennett is 70 years old and lives alone. In her post on the subject of leaving the toilet door open and a comment in the Time's article that she did it because of her age, she said:

"First, I do not “forget” to close the bathroom door. It's a choice; I don't see the point of closing it when I'm home alone. But always, in our culture, anything slightly out of the ordinary in old people is identified up as a failing. Shannon's assumption is that I leave the bathroom door open because I'm stupid, demented or at best, addled just because of my age. I'm so tired of this kind of stuff."

On Being Alone:
Most of us need some alone time. However in a lot of cases, facing day after day isolated from the world is not good. The perfect situation for them could be one where the single lives alone but close to others or in a community of people. On the other hand I know seniors that love their life alone and thrive in the life they have built for themselves. Each person is different. As the Times article points out, 1 in 4 people of all ages are living along now. Most of the people featured in the article were young and living in apartments. The exception was Ronnie Bennett. She was the woman I quoted above. As a senior I think we can learn from the these people. Keeping a network of others, not a spouse or partner, is very important. If we don't do that, we will have an empty tool box when the need to repair our life becomes a necessity.

Remembering that when our spouse is gone or we are left alone for other reasons, there are many choices. I don't think that you should be lonely in today society. Hopefully, when the time comes, WE can decide how to live what is left of our life.

So it is just a thought. What experiences have you had with living alone?

Blogs related to NYT's article:

New York Times: Why do people confess when they are innocent?

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:38:00 PST

New York Times article

I know I have told you this before, but I am guilty. If a policeman came to my door and asked about a robbery in the neighborhood, I would confess. In fact I would probably confess before he asked about the crime. I don't know why but a police officer approaching my car door in a speed trap just scares me to death. I have gotten a big ticket and had insurance premiums go up because I could not defend myself against the accusation...even if I was really sorta innocent, new to town or just going with the flow of traffic. Darn.

When I read this article in the the NYTs about a teen that confessed because he was feeling threatened I could relate to how the young man felt. Guilt can be a great motivator. Do you think that guilt pushes us more than we care to admit? Do we do things for others, attend church and lavish gifts on our family because on some level we feel guilty for our good fortune? It could be.

It is just a thought!

b

How hard would it be to fill your spouses shoes!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:35:00 PST

Do you remember the children's story about the farmer that thought that his wife had it so easy because she did not have to go out into the fields and work? As I recall, when she called his bluff, and let him stay at home with the baby and the ~~cow~~ goat, the garden was destroyed and the wife came home to find the ~~cow~~ goat dangling from a roped down the chimney. I don't remember what happened to the baby.

Well we really do think those things. Husbands have the idea that they could cook just as good as the wife and just the right amount of salt would be on the chicken, there would be bread on the table and he could have gravy every night. The wife thinks that all those "honey do's" are not getting done because the husband is a bit lazy not because he knows how much work they involve and doesn't even want to begin.

So how hard would it be to fill your spouses shoes? Could you ~~cook~~ go the taxes, hang the new venetian blinds and keep the ~~cow~~ goat from falling down the chimney?

Why am I thinking about this? WELL, my dear husband has been putting the plumbing in so we can have our very own wash machine here in our park model. I will not have to use the laundry room anymore. And while we were at Home Depot to buy 2 1/2 drain pipe and 1/2 water pipe plus all the fitting necessary to do the job I bought 4 new venetian blinds for the front of our park model. The fact that he even helped me buy the blinds is amazing. The dear man has been trying to fit all these chores into an already busy "winter golfing vacation" schedule. So I offered to shorten the one blind he has installed in spare minutes between digging, plumbing and scratching his head.

My husband always makes these household maintenance jobs look so easy. I was thinking how hard could it be to shorten the blinds. After all there are instructions and everything. I wanted to help him out in some way. Actually I was beginning to feel a little guilty. And it's not like it is brain surgery. I thought any idiot could do it. It turns out it is hard....just plain hard. Two hand are not enough. There are plugs and strings and slats and ladder strings and a tiny pulley with a axel the size of a needle and 1/4 inch long. It took me all morning to shorten one blind.

The truth is that the longer we are married the more in awe of what this man can do I am. While I know that he would consider it the worst punishment in the world to spend eternity setting toilets and digging for sewer lines, he does it and makes it look easy. To answer my own question, no one could fill his shoes. I know I would not even know where to begin when it comes to doing what he does.

Have a wonderful day.

b

What do you do all day when you are retired?

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:26:00 PST

Bocci Sunshine!

When we first retired, people that were almost retired would ask us what we did all day. Our answer was simply "What we want!". It was all so carefree and effortless. Just the idea that we did not work at a job from 9-5 and still got paid left us feeling euphoric. It was so great.

Fifteen years later we can only wonder when we had time to work. Retirement is taking up all of our time and if we had to work again we would starve to death because our schedule is full to the brim. This week has been amazing:

We tore the inside of the shed apart and cleaned it so we could put a washer and dryer in.
I watched my husband search for the sewer line to hook the washer up to...he could have buried me standing up in a couple of places. He worked really hard.
He found sewer line 4 inches down near the corner of the park model...I sorta helped him find it.
Danced in the back yard because I was happy.
We talked about the sewer line a lot.
We went to happy hour so we could share about the sewer line.
I attended a Arizona Press Women's luncheon. Will write about that soon. The next week has some open spots for me to write.
We attended a bocci ball meeting with a few other people.
I helped write up bocci ball newsletter. (This is why I am so busy...I cannot resist the temptation to open my mouth and give my opinions.)
I made a poster for Bocci Ball meeting.
I attended an informational meeting for Canadian Snow Birds so I could write about their legal issues while in the United States.
We went to Home Depot and bought pipe for the sewer line. Picked up new blinds for our living room area. Our time is precious so we didn't want to make another trip.
I insisted we fill out credit card application to get 10% off Home Depot purchase. (I will destroy card when we receive it.) There is an hour we will never get back again.
I wrote several posts, took care of payment for posts.
I answered an email question about real estate here in Tucson and specific location after some research.
Read a book and started another.

So there you have it. What do we do all day? It doesn't seem very important...just a lot of nitty gritty stuff. But here we are at the end of another day...ready for happy hour, salmon for dinner and it is Monday night so TV is my friend.

Have a wonderful day.

What is a GOOD day? Have you forgotten?

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:37:00 PST

Image from One Kings Lane

Yesterday I talked with a friend as I came out of our RV park laundry room. I was washing, drying, folding and schlepping detergent between my park model and that room several blocks away. He was riding his bicycle around bemoaning a day on the golf course.

"How are you doing?" I asked in that rhetorical way.
"Oh, I'm OK," he replied sounding as though he might cry.
"Are you having a problem?" thinking I should be worried.
"Oh, I just returned from a round of golf and I didn't play good today." was his answer.

I squinted my eyes in that way I have of doing and thought what is wrong with this picture? I'm a golfer and I understand how the game can hurt your feelings and your ego and even your back. But I want a sticker for my car that says "The worst day spent golfing is better than the best day doing anything else."

So the questions are Have we forgotten how to be happy? What is a good day? Do we overlook the beautiful day and our good fortune and search for a negative to focus on? Let me know what you think.

b

Life Insurance Guide 2012 Why Life Insurance at our age???

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:54:00 PST

Life Insurance Tips

When my mother was in her early eighties we talked with her financial planner about purchasing a life insurance policy. Believe it or not, even a widow at her age (82) needed some life insurance protection. Not because there was anyone left that would be dependent upon her for support after her death but because this was a very good way to protect her money from all those people that wanted to get their hands on it after she was gone. By protecting her money she also guarantee that any outstanding debts she had was paid off (think home mortgage or any credit card debt). So yesterday when I was contacted by an insurance company representative with information on insurance policies I sat up and paid attention. As a quick review, here are some choices available to you:

Life Insurance Guide 2012

Life insurance is a critical component of any financial plan and ensuring that you have the right kind of coverage is important. Without having the right kind of life insurance, you cannot be sure that your family will be taken care of if you pass away unexpectedly. When engaging in financial planning, keep these life insurance tips in mind.

Decide if You Want Cash Value

When you're in the market for a new life insurance policy, you have to determine whether you want your policy to have a cash value. Term life insurance only provides a death benefit for a specific number of years. By comparison, whole life insurance gives you a death benefit and a growing cash value.

Some people do not want a cash value and would rather save money on premiums. Instead of paying extra money to get a cash value, you could just as easily invest that money on your own and earn more money over time. However, if you are not disciplined enough to make yourself set aside money every month, using a whole life insurance policy can be a decent investment.

Get Enough Coverage

When it comes to choosing a life insurance policy, you also have to make sure that you have enough coverage. Many people who buy life insurance policies are under-insured and do not have enough coverage to adequately protect their families. You need to at least have enough money to pay off all of your outstanding debts and provide your family with a little cash. For example, if you have a mortgage, student loans, credit cards and an auto loan, add up all of the debts that you have. Then add an amount on top of the debt so that your family will have enough money to pay your final expenses and have some left over. The face value of the policy is ultimately the amount that your beneficiary will receive when you pass away.

Company Quality

When choosing a life insurance policy, you should also look at the quality of the company that is offering it to you. Try to find a company that is reputable in the industry and has a good history of paying claims. If an insurance company goes out of business, it will not be able to honor your life insurance policy. Make sure that you choose one of the best insurance companies in the industry to work with.

Decide if You Want Cash Value

When you're in the market for a new life insurance policy, you have to determine whether you want your policy to have a cash value. Term life insurance only provides a death benefit for a specific number of years. By comparison, whole life insurance gives you a death benefit and a growing cash value.

Some people do not want a cash value and would rather save money on premiums. Instead of paying extra money to get a cash value, you could just as easily invest that money on your own and earn more money over time. However, if you are not disciplined enough to make yourself set aside money every month, using a whole life insurance policy can be a decent investment.

Get Enough Coverage

When it comes to choosing a life insurance policy, you also have to make sure that you have enough coverage. Many people who buy life insurance policies are under-insured and do not have enough coverage to adequately protect their families. You need to at least have enough money to pay off all of your outstanding debts and provide your family with a little cash. For example, if you have a mortgage, student loans, credit cards and an auto loan, add up all of the debts that you have. Then add an amount on top of the debt so that your family will have enough money to pay your final expenses and have some left over. The face value of the policy is ultimately the amount that your beneficiary will receive when you pass away.

Company Quality

When choosing a life insurance policy, you should also look at the quality of the company that is offering it to you. Try to find a company that is reputable in the industry and has a good history of paying claims. If an insurance company goes out of business, it will not be able to honor your life insurance policy. Make sure that you choose one of the best insurance companies in the industry to work with.

The information was a reminder that taking care of business when it comes to our financial planning and life insurance is more important than ever. Just remember, even though you are financially able to live the life style you are living now, your children could lose a great deal if your insurance does not cover the mortgage payment at your death. We are all well aware that getting property sold can be a problem. As for the credit card company I don't even want to go there.

FYI

b

Warning! Email Scam on the Move...again!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 10:28:00 PST

Don't do that!
Don't re-enter your personal information.

Let me say this again...your email server will not will not will not ask you to re-enter your personal information. If you get an email saying that your server (YAHOO, GOOGLE, fiddleBOMB, DIDDLYWINKS, etc, etc.) wants you to re-enter your information threatening that your service will be terminated, it is a scam!!! Do not re-enter your personal information.

It will look like this:

HTML info

Note that the word "information" is misspelled and says "infomation" in the email address. Your service will not be denied! A friend had this happen this week and actually sent this very official looking address her password, user name etc. That allowed this SCAM to access her email address box. Every person on that list got an email requesting money saying she had been kidnapped in Spain. This is the second friend I have had this happen to.

Do not answer these email, report them as spam. You email server will not ask for this information. If you have responded to this warn, friends, change you password and user name. Sigh!!!

Did I get one of these requests??? Well yes I did and I put it in spam and reported it. I was so tempted to respond saying, "You're kidding...right?" but is resisted the impulse.

FYI

It's a Small World...Vietnam, Groupon and me!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:10:00 PST

Image via CrunchBase

Thought #1

FYI: One Kings Lane is a website very much

like your Tuesday Morning

Store only more beautiful.(If you want to join

send me your email address to Orencoopinions@gmail.com

and I will send you an invitation.

You will get the $15 discount.)

Good Morning World

I don't wake up by hitting the floor running. My mind requires a cup of coffee or two. When my feet finally carried me out of bed this rainy morning, my mind went for a stroll dragging the rest of me along behind. Glasses on and robe wrapped tight I stumbled to my kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the wrapping from an item I purchased from One Kings Lane. I had purchased a duvet using my $15 discount I received when I signed up for the website. The wrapping was so classy I have let it stay on my computer desk for a few days. That is where my mind took a u-turn. I had no idea we were going to write about this today.

My Thought Process...sorry

So did you know that the wife of Groupon's founder, Andrew Mason, is one of the owners of One Kings Lane. You can see why I would know this...shopping and daily deals all in one family always catches my interest. (You can watch Andrew Mason's interview on 60 Minutes where this fact is revealed.)

Trekking with Sue Mae

The One Kings Lane wrapping reminded me of some people we met in passing while we were in Vietnam. I know, it is as if I were the mouse that found a cookie and needed a glass of milk. A lot of my days are like that.

The Stream of Consciousness

We were on Phu Quoc located in the Sea of Thailand for over a week. The weather is tropical and the landscape is lush. Every evening as the sun set our hosts at Cassia Cottages would serve cocktail hour. One evening while we were there during the Christmas holiday they held a cocktail hour by the pool and all the guest were invited. They served beautiful food and wine. A small intimate group gathered to visit as the shadows grew long.

Isn't it funny that when you travel you are somehow attracted to people from your own country? I suppose that is why we spent so much time with David and Amy Goldman. The Goldmans were a young couple from the Illinois, United States traveling around the world with two children. They had just sold a business and were taking a year off to travel. Their children were learning geography first hand and doing their school work on the fly. The Goldmans had spent time in Shanghai where they had dinner with a former teacher of their teen daughter. This teacher has worked for Shanghai American Schools for ten years. When they discovered that my son and daughter-in-law work for Shanghai American School, Amy Goldman wanted to know if my son and his wife were acquainted with the teacher. Well, now that you mention it, they were. Oh my gosh...Shanghai is the largest city in the world!!! Incidentally my daughter-in-law was raised in Illinois.

Sue Mae and me

I listened as Amanda (a former middle school math teacher) gave Maya, the Goldman's teen daughter, a short algebra/technology lesson on the patio. This is what Amy Goldman had to say in her blog post called Another Small World Story:

Furthermore, Amanda used to teach eighth grade math and was very pleased to be able to give Maya an algebra pep talk in the way that only a math teacher could do. “You’re solving linear systems using eliminations? I LOVE eliminations!” You will all be happy to know that after Amanda’s motivational speech, Maya took her quiz and received 100%. Good job Maya and thank you Amanda.

But the connection did not stop there. The Goldmans had also been to Sapa in northern Vietnam earlier and trekked with the guide we had used. Her name was Sue Mae. Actually Sue Mae mentioned this very family to my daughter-in-law because of their round the world year. This small Hmong woman dreamed of doing that herself one day.

David Goldman also mentioned that a relative was one of the people involved in Groupon (ahhh, here is the cookie and the mouse part). So there you have the connection to One Kings Road. It turns out they call it six point of separation for a reason. It could be that we are all connected to a shopping website like Groupon in some way. Those of us that love a good deals are certainly hoping so. Seriously, I love it when real people touch our lives in small ways yet that connection spreads out like the rings a pebble makes when it hits the water.

You can read the post Amy Goldman's post about our chance encounter at Another Small World Story. (They even have a picture, with my son, my daughter-in-law and I.)

God Speed Goldman family. Give my best to the rest of your family. :) I hope you are still loving your life on the road.

How Female Bloggers Differ from Male Bloggers!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:46:00 PST

Barbara, author of Retire In Style Blog

I have always wondered if women read women blogs and men read men blogs? This is only my opinions but it seems to me that there is a great difference in the subjects we write about. Is that really true or is it just me?

When I began blogging, women had their own web sites, blog logs and mommy blogger were everywhere talking about diapers, bad teachers and stuff their husband did that annoyed them. I joined Blogher and Blogsbywomen so I could get a feel for what was out there. Eventually I settled on prompt website like Friday Island, Carry on Tuesday and Sunday Scribblings. Both men and women used these sites. It was really a very genderless world. Poetry and fiction lived in that blogging world.

After I moved over to this blog with retirements issues and interests on my mind, I began to see a real difference. Here boomers, financial advisers and people seeking information on retirement mingle freely. However, if the author of the blog is a man the difference is noticeable. While women are concerned about frugality in retirement, their need for keeping it simple is reflected in the nitty gritty of everyday life. Men bloggers, on the other hand, talked about travel details, financial matters and visits with financial advisers. They spend a certain amount of time talking about hobbies, volunteer work and family. That works to make them real in every one's eyes. Blogs are about appeal to the reader after all, especially if the author is running a money making blog.

One woman blogger I know has a separate twitter page for her Red Hat group. Others, like me, like style, chick flicks/books and discussions on face cream. Like me they subscribe to Fab Over Fifty and keep track of the latest styles in clothing and hair styles. We even have opinions on what looks good on other people. We read Grandparents.com and BlogHer. Many retired women spend a great deal of time talking about spirituality and their church affilliations. Retirement has not changed us much.

On the other hand, women like me are very interested in the men's point of view and people like Bob Lowry over at Satisfying Retirement gets many comments from women. Personally I like Bob's blog and books that he would find interesting. I just finished reading Steve Job's biography and keep Malcolm Gladwell's books close at hand. But I also read a lot of books aimed at women. For example:

Best Staged Plans, Clair Cook
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society: A Novel, Mary Ann Shaffer
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet: A Novel, Jamie Ford
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot,
The Help, Kathryn Stockett
Tinkers, Paul Harding
All Ann Tyler Books

There are books that might appeal to both sexes that I have enjoyed. Here are just a few:

The Girl Who Kicked the Dragon's Nest, Stieg Larsson
The Girl Who Played with Fire (Millennium Trilogy), Stieg Larsson
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millennium Trilogy), Stieg Larsson
Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson
Coal Black Horse, Robert Olmstead
The Lincoln Lawyer: A Novel (Mickey Haller), Michael Connelly
Building a Satisfying Retirement, Bob Lowry
Undaunted Courage: Meriwether Lewis, Thomas Jefferson, and the Opening of the American West (Kindle Edition), Stephen Ambrose

Blogging is a personal pursuit with an eye to keeping people's interest no matter their sex. I do get a few men to come over when I write a financial blog. I like that a lot. But my world is not a man's world so my posts are very different from those posted by a man. In fact, the majority of almost 50 of my followers are women. And that is a good thing or at least I think so. I am not particularly interested in the sports page or too much news. However, I do know about sports and I have to attribute that to osmosis resulting from living with a man that loves sports. I read the front page of the New York Times online, and watch local/national news in the evenings. It works for me. I can carry on a decent conversation about politics and make reference to current events in posts. Hopefully, I can straddle the line and attract men to be readers occasionally. In the end though, I am a woman blogger and I cannot change that.

I am very interested your take on this blogging life. Leave a comment and share your ideas. How are we different and how are we the same?

Have a wonderful day.

Oh, by the way, just when I think I have everyone stuffed in their little boxes, my husband comes to me with a website on hair styling. He was just looking at it and thought I might be interested. Go figure!!!

When the Tail Wags the Dog...aging in an RV Resort

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 19:26:00 PST

My daughter commented once that coming to this 55+ RV resort is a bit like going to live in a college dorm. We are from diverse backgrounds and just meeting for the first time. That really is true. I like that a lot.

The resemblances to a school setting does not end there though. There are rules, financial matter to be considered and the emotional issues related to aging. We try to make our lives fit into the setting because we realize that a wonderful resort like this has to maintain guidelines or we would be living in a big mess. And a community of experiences seniors can be very hard to control. Having said this I need to vent just a bit. I know you won't mind.

Childhood Sweethearts still love dancing
after 51 years of marriage!

I know you have heard the phrase "the tail is wagging the dog". The dictionary describes this idiom as "a situation where a small part is controlling the whole of something." In education it was the financial manager and the school bus service wagging the classroom teachers. I actually had a school financial officer tell me where I could place art on the walls. As for the bus schedule, the schedule for those monster yellow buses really has nothing to do with the needs of children large and small. Yet our day was built around their hours of operation. Here in our 55+ RV Resort we are a bit like those children. The cookie cutter machine did not make us all the same.

In an RV resort or any 55+ community the residence are very dependent on social occasion like dances, coffee hours and concert. It is part of what we love about being surrounds by age mates. When we have a dinner/dance event for example, the parks will take into account that seniors do have some special needs. Diet, physical ability, marital status, money and simply getting old can limit community members participation. Either the cost is reduced or people are allowed to buy separate tickets, one for dinner and one for dancing. It turns out it is a bookkeepers nightmare.

In our particular case, we are not going to our Valentine Dance. The option is for just one ticket that includes dinner and dancing. The event is not over priced but I have a health issue and cannot eat what they have on the menu. If you are living in a community like this, you will understand. We need to always keep in mind that we are renters and our landlord runs a big business. Spread sheets don't have faces or special needs along side the numbers. The tail is wagging the dog...the financial difficulties control our lives.

Is it the principal of the thing? Well not really. Valentines Day is and always has been special for my husband and I. Cooking at home does not have "Valentines Day" written all over it. All I want is a nice dinner out at restaurant that can cater to my dietary needs and a few dances with my husband amid our friends at a price we can afford. In this particular case, "tails" win!

b

Safety and Common Sense

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:00:00 PST

Did you know that Steve Jobs did not have a license plate on his car? When asked why he said that people followed him sometimes and if they got his license plate number they could find out where he lived. Even Steve Jobs had safety issues.

Vietnam Vacation...no worries?

We all know that we need to have a license plate on our car. It is the law and common sense tells us that if we want to protect our car from thieves, police need to be able to identify it in rush hour traffic. The lesson is that we need to think about and take logical steps to keep our belongings and ourselves safe.

Keeping Our Home Secure

A life style that does not follow the normal patterns has some unique issue and we wonder; how do I keep my home safe when I am gone and myself safe when I am at home? I don't want to worry about my home and safety ever. I especially don't want it weighing on my mind when I am vacationing. I am well aware that even those of us that don't have a lot of valuable things should be concerned about intruders in our homes. The feeling of helplessness left behind by a home invasion or even the worry about an intruder tells us that this is the place where we need to spend a little time and money to keep it from ever happening. I suggest:

1. Technology can be your friend. I have a family member that leaves her computer camera open when she is gone. If you think that someone may be using your home as a motel and stealing a few items while they are at it, this may be the perfect choice for you. Home security systems can help with this too. You can even use your smart phone/iphone to control your system when you are far away.

2. If you recently moved, be sure that your locks are changed. Extra keys can be your undoing.

3. Keep your house locked at all time when you are not at home, especially back or side doors. Thieves don't mind the daylight as much as we think they do.

4. If you are leaving for an extended period of time, be sure the neighbors are aware. I have visions of a moving van pulling up and taking everything. In my worst nightmare the neighbors offer them coffee and lunch.

5. Stop the paper and have mail forwarded...this is such a commonly held knowledge but you would be surprised how many people (including me) neglect to do this. I had a postal carrier steal items from my stacked up mail.

6. Leave the window coverings in a semi-normal position. While we don't like people peaking in, drawn blinds screams "no one is at home".

7. Move any really valuable items that might be visible from windows when you are gone. Hide the computer. When we are home, windows that show valuable things are kept closed at night.

8. Take advantage of technology. Be sure you are safe in your home when you are there and your home is safe when you are not. So one last way to obviously help protect you and your home is with a home security system through companies like ADT.

Just a thought.

Building a Satisfying Retirement by Bob Lowry (book review)

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:43:00 PST

When I read book I like, I can hardly wait to tell you all about it. I never write about I book I don't like because I will never finish what does not interest me. I'm funny that way. So, because I want to tell you about Building a Satisfying Retirement by Bob Lowry, you know right away that this small book was good.

Background:

Lowry writes a blog called Satisfying Retirement.

Bob Lowry is a very interesting man. He and his wife retired when his wife was 48 and he was 52. It was soon after the climate following 9/11 made it very clear that remaining in business was becoming impossible. They were 10 years away from their retirement goals at that time. He and his wife have been featured on CNNMoney in an article called Live well on less: 6 ways to save in Retirement. The CNN article gave the background information not available in the book. I thought it was especially telling when they pointed out that the Lowry's did not retire without a nest egg. It is important to understand where they were financially before they began the Satisfying Retirement lifestyle:

With $850,000 saved, they were short of their $1.2 million target. To retire a decade earlier than planned, they calculated that they needed to live on $45,000 a year, less than a third of their $150,000 income.

Building a Satisfying Retirement
This book is one of those books that makes you feel that retirement is possible if you are willing to make the sacrifices that are necessary. Lowry wrote the book in the first person taking the reader step by step through three steps that lead to the stability of retirement and then explains how you can shape you life once the euphoria has lifted.

I was especially interested in the financial section of the book. "Building Financial Peace of Mind" asks you some pertinent questions...

When do I want to stop working?
Is my financial house in order?
How are my health and my health coverage?
Do I want to work after retirement?

I loved the quote "A goal without a timetable is just a wish list." He does not give you a financial formula...you need to find that yourself or consult an expert...but he does give you all the things to consider when you plan for retirement. I think you will find some very important reminders about what the reality of retirement is. His point is that if you are not financial sound and can live on what you have, you will not be as happy as you should be. Then he will help you wrap your mind around what that means.

The section on creativity resonated with me. His words were inspiring. "Creativity - a Must for a Satisfying Retirement" He said "[creativity] does not have to be anything to do with painting, writing sculpting, or any of the things we usually think of as being creative. Rather it is seeing the familiar in a different light." If you are one of those people that think "bored" is an okay place to be, you need to read this chapter. It may let you see yourself in a new light.

Other chapters included suggestions for building a stronger relationship with your partner, living simply, using time management and working after retirement.

Summary
It is so refreshing to read a book or blog about successful retirement by someone that is actually walking the talk. Bob tells you about what he knows for sure. He is well read, articulate and above all interesting. Building a Satisfying Retirement is available on Amazon for $3.99 in ebook form.

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5 Conversation Starters with Your Children...help me make a list.

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:21:00 PST

Mexico 10 years ago - time passes quickly!

I have recovered from a cold recently. My husband and I just returned from China. We are living in park model 1600 miles from home. We are talking about driving into Mexico to Guaymas. I am 70 and my husband is 74. We are very active retired teachers. Yet, when I feel ill, I begin to worry about a time when I will feel bad and won't get better.

Time is passing faster than we care to admit. The time for bonding with our children on that level where they may be asked to really help us and not just offer helpful advice is coming. We need to pave the way for a smooth transition when that time comes. It has occurred to me that I need to find out what they think. So I am thinking about some questions that I can ask that will help our family when that time comes.

There will be 5 and only 5 questions. Rule # 1: Don't ask all of these questions on the same day. I want information not a family feud!

If we don't tell you, how will you know when we cannot manage our finances?
Can you describe the place your father and I will live in when we cannot live independently. The answer for this cannot include any labels like "nursing home" or "assisted living" even though the description may fit those places.
How will you handle "traveling problems" if they should occur? This may include a discussion about whether we should even drive.
Which of you will be in charge when the time comes for life changing decisions? Can you work together?
How will you help us live independently?

My husband and I are living a wonderful life. We always try to create an image of successful aging. I can see that my children may not recognize that we are going to need help. I know this list needs to be longer but maybe just asking a few simply questions will open the door for the dialogue. The unasked question is always "How will you even find time to help us?" but then that is for another day. If you have suggestions, please tell me. We need to begin compiling a list of helpful conversation starters with our children on this subject.

b

Note: I need for you to understand that asking too many questions is not good. Children mistake a parent that is trying to get attention by asking how to run the thermostat or the TV controller as a sign that the parent is losing their mind! Really people, don't do that. Independence falls away when we begin craving more attention. If you want more attention just tell them so and make arrangements that will satisfy your needs. Children cannot read your mind. This post is not about that kind of help/questions.

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The US Post Office and ME

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:20:00 PST

Okay, you are all aware that the United States Post Office can be a pain in the ~~butt~~ neck! Obviously nothing has changed since I went there last. I still don't know how to mail stuff. Why do I think you have had that experience too.

It seems that a Christmas card I sent in early December had $.83 due on it and my son did not go to pick it up and pay the $83. So it came back day before yesterday (January 31). The people at the PO were not sure why but it was finally decided that the envelope was not standard size. I am not sure if the guys that process the mail knew that but at any rate they sent it, then sent it back using twice as much fuel and time than they needed because I am suppose to be smart enough to know that a card will not go through the mail. But wouldn't it stand to reason that the some envelopes won't ship because they won't go through the machine. Maybe, just maybe someone knew right then that the letter should not go. In all truthfulness, I think it was my fault. I forget what era I live in and assume that the postoffice is run in such a way as to catch our mistakes. That just isn't not the way it is. I had to buy a new envelope and pay the postage again. It only took me three trips to my car because I was not smart enough to ask the right questions. First I needed more money. Then I needed a new envelope. Then I didn't have a pen and they didn't offer one. No one was going to keep me from mailing this *&^%$ Christmas card! I am such an idiot and I was cranky for the rest of the day.

This morning a flat rate box I had picked up at the postoffice, purchased postage online, glued the label/postage on and mailed at the postoffice was returned to me. I thought I had read all the fine print but obviously not. Same drill...box went to the destination and was returned to me even thought the label and postage was wrong when it left Tucson (something I learned today). It cost me a lot to have the parcel returned and then I had to buy more postage to have them try it again. Really, I did not realize what an idiot I was. I asked the clerk if people ever yelled at him and he said sweetly "Yes, sometime." Then I asked him why they actually transported a parcel when they knew it would just come right back. "I think they assume you should know what you are doing," he said. Oh my goodness, it was a test.

Oh, and did I mention that the package was smashed flat and a letter was attached to the back stating that "it had been lost". I am not sure if that was in a truck or an airplane. I didn't read the letter because I just wanted to go home.

Here is what I have learned:

Be sure to talk to a clerk at the postoffice if you have anything that might be questionable. You will save yourself a lot of time and money in the long run.
If you are not an experienced present sender, learn what the heck is going on or use a carrier that will help you.
Remember...just because Hallmark sells it does not mean it will ship. The size of the envelope can be a problem.
Take your ID with you when you go inside the PO. They want to know who you are.
If you are buying postage that you can print online try to find our what the size of the package is in inches. I am sure it says somewhere but I did not see it. Pictures don't count.
Postal workers are trying to keep you happy but sometimes fall short in their communication skills.
Keep your cool. While they are not going to spit in your food they can make your life miserable.
Here in Arizona there are small postoffices in retail stores. They can tell you whether it is cheaper to send your package flat rate, by weight or even using UPS. I will go to one of those next time.

I take full responsibility for not being "US Post Office" smart. I don't think I ever will be. What do I do all day? I'm just try to stay ahead of the learning curve. In some cases I am failing miserably.

b

Should you have to choose between eyeglasses or food??

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:45:00 PST

Needed...computer eyeglasses.

Really, didn't you have to choose between a months worth of groceries or seeing the last time you went to purchase eyeglasses? I know I did.

After I went through cataract surgery last summer I still needed glasses. The cost of that one pair of bifocals blew me away. I did not feel I could afford the progressive lenses even though I had insurance. The idea of getting sunglasses and reading glasses were simply out of the question. There had to be a better way.

Then I began thinking about purchasing another pair of glasses online. I remembered visiting a website called GlassesUSA so I visited their website again. They offered:

Cheap eyeglasses

A website application that allow me to see how the glasses would look before I bought.

Specific instructions on how to find the right fit.

Coupons and discount codes.

A guarantee that I was getting the lowest price.

But I wanted even more. I wanted good customer service. To test the service I sent GlassesUSA.com customer service this question:

"If I were to order glasses requesting that they be for computer use only would you be able to calculate this. I use a desk top computer most of the time and the distance to the screen does not work with my reading glasses."

The answer was very clear and specific:

Thank you for your interest in GlassesUSA! When ordering glasses specifically for computer work, you may specify in the comments box, that you would like the glasses to focus at a certain focal length. After submitting that information, our professionals in the lab will make your glasses as quickly as possible.

Thank you!

In my world it is all about beauty. Being able to see is very important. But I am also just a little vain so I don't want to look old or out of date. Shopping for glasses is one of the most important things I do. Unlike my spring shoes, my glasses need to last a long time. Wish me luck. I need a pair of computer glasses really bad.

Coupon codes:

Take 20% off your entire order of $80 or more and get FREE US shipping with the code: FS20

Take 10% off any order of prescription glasses. Code: Blog10

Be well
b

Games...a few choices for you.

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:34:00 PST

HOW MANY DIFFERENT GAMES DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY? Why? Well retirement is all about playing...life becomes a game.

I, for example, I play with words. The blog is my game board and words are the game tiles. Still other love a game of golf or a game of bocce. Card games, including Texas Hold em, are great favorites around here. My friend played in a bocce tournament with us this morning and left immediately to play Bridge.

I am just pointing this out to you because I believe that games and puzzles are a wonderful way to keep our minds alive and allow us to socialize with others.

Here in Rincon East RV Resort you will need to be fearless...this is your opportunity to learn new things in the company of people just like you. You can take that first yoga class with other people that are taking their first class. You can play your first bocce game with beginners like you. Age is not a factor...the leaders in our bocce ball tournament include people in their eighties and people much, much younger!

So if you are an expert, here is your chance to teach. If you are beginner, here is your chance to learn.

Texas Hold Em Rules On Monday night a group of people gather in the card room to play poker...the longer a player stays in the game the more he/she wins. I hear it is a great lot of fun and, if you are lucky, you may even win a little petty change.

Euchre (rules here) is played in the afternoon almost everyday. For those of you from the mid west this is good news. There are even a hardy few that play every day. I don't know how to play this game but it does sound fun.

Cribbage (rules here) I learned this game as a child. Although the rules look complicated, it is really very easy and lots of fun.

Bocce (rules here) is that game you see being played in parks using concrete balls along with a smaller ball called a Pallino. According to Life Script, healthy living for women! bocce has been around for thousands of years and is still a favorite of the young and the old.

Throwing balls toward a target has always been a favorite sport of the common man. The Egyptians were the first to play bocce around 5000 B.C., using polished rocks. The Egyptians passed the game to the Greeks around 800 B.C., who then taught the Romans to play it using coconuts! Emperor Augustus was supposedly a great bocce sportsman. The Roman influence in the game is seen clearly in its name; the word bocce derives from the Latin bottia, meaning boss.

Horse Shoes is a favorite here in this resort. Men show up in the morning and games go on all day. Alph Horse (rules here) says "Horseshoes is a game that is extremely easy to learn, yet difficult to master. While no article can hope to help your mastery of the game (sorry – it takes time and practice to get the knack for pitching a horseshoe), by the time you are finished with this article you will have a full understanding of how horseshoes is played and scored.

Pickle Ball We have just added a Pickle Ball (rules here) court here in our resort within the last year. This court is used hard everyday that it does not rain or blow. Players often practice on the court for competition at the city parks and recreation facilities. It is a fast game with rules that are similar to volley but played with a paddle and a light weight ball.

Bridge is a great favorite with players both in this park but in parks near by. If you love a challenging game you will find wonderful playing partners and couples to spend time with.

Golfers with out partners will find a list of people looking for a game in the recreation director's office. I noticed recently that they was a very long list of people that had signed up.

Bingo players have one evening a week to play and win. If you love this game of chance, you will have lots of competition. Our auditorium fills on this evening for a game. You can win prizes at this event.

We also have a tennis court, pool tables and, for the card players, several rooms with the appropriate tables.

The choice is yours. There is no reason for anyone to be bored here.

b

10 Things I Cannot Live Without...all available online!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:31:00 PST

Somethings cannot be purchased online
...family, friends, sunshine! :)

I am inviting you to think about this...10 things that you could not live without. I am retired, 69 and live in a small space. If you were wanting to shop for my favorite things this is what you would look for:

My microroplane zester...I yearned for one of these for years but just could not make myself buy one. I even used a rasp from my husband's shop for a while.
The exfoliating gloves I use in my shower.
My Kindle reader...this device has made it possible for me to read again.
My Apple iPad 2.
Girly shoes. I love shoes.
The Pendleton blanket that belonged to my parents.
My NeckPillow by Tempur-Pedic
Apple iMac 7-Inch Desktop
Dyson Vacuum Cleaner Really, I will never own another brand. It is the best.
My iphone (4s is coming next)...I even take most of my pictures for this blog with it.

There you have it. If I were to go shopping for all your favorite things was would you suggest?

b

Related articles

What If You Get Sick-Travel Preparedness

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:10:00 PST

Travel has its risks...take precautions before you leave home.
Sapa, Vietnam (photo by E.)

Here is a problem that I have never talked about: How to be prepared when you are on the road and get a cold or worse yet the flu? Yikes! Now this does happen boys and girls. As optimistic as I am you would think I would just not worry about this but I do. It can be a big problem. While I don't have all the answers I do have a few steps you should take before you board a plane, set out on the road in a car or a motor home. Be prepared! (PLEASE leave a comment if you have more or better ideas. I will link to a blog post if you have written about this too.)

We are going to make the assumption that you have insurance or are on Medicare.

Before you drive pack your bags be sure to contact your doctor and let them know what you are up to. I suggest that you go to the office and get a quick going over just to make sure you are good to go.
Get a flu shot far enough in advance that it is effective If you are leaving the country be sure to ask your doctor about any other needed immunizations. Hepititus seems to be a major problem.
Ask the doctor for prescriptions for illnesses that can crop up.Urinary track infections, asthma can be examples of a easy fix if you are prepared. If you are traveling overseas fill the prescription before you leave home.
Take all the usual cold medications, inhalers, tummy ache stuff (Imodium) and head ache pills. It will give you peace of mind.
Check with your insurance company to see what they are going to do if you are hospitalized or need to visit a doctor while traveling. Our insurance company covers us when we travel but if yours doesn't, there are companies that do. Go over what you are suppose to do in the worse case scenario. Visualize what you will do if this happens.
Always travel with both your supplemental insurance card and your Medicare card. In my case I never use the Medicare card at home but when we are not at home they do not know my insurance company and are very suspicious. (I have had this happen.)
Carry any medical records, prescription lists and personal contacts (children and doctor's number?). Also carry your living will or anything else that might be needed.
Talk this over with your spouse/partner. Miscommunication can be a huge problem. Always know where the other's wallet or purse is and how to find their cards, etc. If you are in a relationship where your are hiding medical conditions from each other, make an exception and come clean with each other.
If one of you should become ill, remember that the partner standing needs to rest and eat. Nothing can be worse that the well person getting ill because they tried to do too much.
Let your family know what you plan it. If you don't they can even be a problem.b

Wash your hands...a lot. Drink a lot of water. Stay well. I don't want you to need this list...ever!This is important so don't blow me off. I know what I am talking about!

Wash your hand...a lot. Drink more water than you think you need. Stay well. I don't want you to need this list...ever! This is important so don't blow me off. I know what I am talking about.

b
Note: I need your comments. Please let me know if you have more information or personal experiences you would like to share.

Do You Have the Flu (assessment from Mayo Clinic)

How to choose the right RV park! 10 Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:27:00 PST

I saw an article yesterday talking about how a person can regret their choice of apartments. No electrical outlets, noisy streets, dark rooms and shrinking space that become more apparent after moving in can send renters over the edge. Renters remorse sets in but a lease has been signed so the tenant is stuck. Finding the right resort to spend the winter in can be just as hard. I have some ideas that will help you narrow down that long list of "perfect" snowbird locations.

Okay I'm here. What do I do now? No matter how fancy a RV resort is it cannot be a stand alone location in most cases. You can sit in the sun for just so long then you are going to want to get out and enjoy the area. I for one do not want to be parked in the middle of the desert with nothing to do. Think about that when you decide to settle into a location.
The railroad tracks are where?You can only hide the railroad tracks for so long. Then that ugly beast with rear it's head at the most inopportune time. Just ask about railroad tracks and freeway noise before you make a reservation. Maybe you won't mind but at least don't be surprised.
I don't know anyone. If you decided to spend the whole winter in one spot you might consider finding a place where you have an acquaintance or two. I say this especially if you are new at the experience. Friends can help make your winter experience more enjoyable. If you like to golf for example, it is nice to have another couple to play with. I don't see this as an absolute necessity but it is nice.
Cars are not welcome? We stayed in an RV resort in Needles, California one year. The owners didn't like for their renters to have visitors and would not let them park near our motor home. If a visitor pulled in behind our car the owners would come immediately and make company move. It was such an unfriendly atmosphere. I think if we had asked if we could have company or invite people for dinner in the beginning we would have saved ourselves a lot of grief. We didn't even consider that when we committed ourselves. It was a beautiful park.
Pets are allowed where? Pets can be a contentious point when you live so close to other people. A park that does not assign a special section for pets is inviting problems. A dog that barks night and day can drive the neighbors nuts. Check on that. If you are a dog owner remember to be considerate of others.
You cleaned the laundry room last year? Take a look around before you commit yourselves to an extended stay. A filthy laundry room or unkept pool area can be a deal breakers in my book. We have stayed (one night) in some pretty iffy places. Thank heavens we did not commit ourselves sight unseen.
Where is the pool, pickle ball, bocce ball? When you look at Camper Life or an online website to see what is available at a park, be sure that the activities you enjoy are available in the park. If you golf a course should be close by.
Quiet hour starts a 7 pm? Unless you are dead you are going to want to talk or even dance in the street once in a while. Remember that! If the park is designed for very old quiet people think about whether that is going to work for you.
It gets how cold at nights? Just because a location is in the southern United States does not mean that it will be warm. Check into the weather, average temperatures, wind/rain before you rent a park model or commit to a month in one location. You will not regret it.
The grocery is how far away? Is there anything worse that being stuck in a place that has no services? I mean I like solitude as well as the next guy but no grocery store save the one in the RV park does not work for me. It is just a thought.

Do you have any suggestions. I would love to hear them.

Stylish Simple Living...what should you keep!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 17:39:00 PST

Bob Lowry wrote a post the other day about living simply but not having a simple life. He spoke of people going over board with the "simple living" principal stripping their life of all those things that are not needed. I began to think about that idea.

Rooftops of Sapa (edited with Snapseed on ipad)

We have just returned from a trip to Viet Nam where we visited a community in north Vietnam called Sapa. Here children played without shoes or even pants on days when I was wearing a coats and scarves. The people that lived in the countryside lived on the bare minimum. But, they still gathered things of beauty around them. Native costumes with lively colors adorned the women and they spent their days weaving and embroidering things that they sold in markets. In fact, beauty surrounded them. On some level it was as though the difficulties of their life was made more bearable because of the colors that they embraced. I think that we can take a lesson from this. Not all the things in our life are disposable. There are things we should never get rid of; beauty, cleanliness, friendship, learning and family.

Native Women bartering!

Bob talked about the person that rid themselves of all but 15 things. He thought it was a bit "silly". I think that if you are going to take away all but 15 things, the 5 things I listed above had be the things that stay. So of all your personal possessions that you can live without, those things that make your heart sing because they are beautiful should not be let go. Hang on to what you can because, even when things get bad, they will make your life better.

I invite you to read Bob's article and see what he has done. Simple Living Can Become Silly is one of the best I have seen recently.

I live with a cat....sigh!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:46:00 PST

RV the CAT!

Living with a cat has got to be one of the most frustrating experiences one will ever have. I live with a cat and a husband. The husband loves the cat. As a result I do not have any control in my world at all.

We traveled with the cat in a cage this fall...well for a while. Then the cat demanded to be let out so we did. There was no choice. The cat can be a little whiny and besides that he will scratch me if I don't obey his every command. Not when I displease him but later in the day...in the dark. I don't like that at all.

Now he lives with us in our park model. This cat was wild when we found him and still does not like to be in a small space. We, however, live in a part of our RV park that does not allow pets outdoors...RV the Cat doesn't understand and escapes as often as possible. I don't suppose he can help himself. I don't think he knows that there are places in the RV resort where he could be on a lease outdoors yet. When he runs away, I will call and call but he doesn't come. Then when I am not looking he will sneak in and hide where I cannot find him. He doesn't care if we get in trouble and we do get in trouble right along in this place. I know that can happen. If the residents didn't like it when we danced in the street a 8 pm, imagine what they will say when my big black very spooky looking cat is seen wandering around.

I am a little worried that the cat will find out about Cat/Dog Street. Please don't tell. I told my husband that I have put my foot down. I am not moving to a new location and I'm not letting my husband move either...the cat on the other hand....!

b

Frugal Travel....Vietnam might be the place!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:00:00 PST

I was reading the Frugal Traveler this morning. Author of the column, Seth Kugel, writes for the New York Times and is the "guru" of cheap travel. You remember him...he was the one that blasted this blog out of the water last spring. The article today is about Portugal. Now that really is a place I would like to visit. But.....

In my world the Far East (excluding China) is by far the best buy for the frugal traveler right now. We just returned from a trip to China and Vietnam. We visited Sapa, Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City and the island of Phú Quốc in Viet Nam and Shanghai in China. If I were looking for the most frugal of all adventures, Vietnam would be my choice right now...that is what I know so indulge me.

Flight: $1450 (from Tucson AZ)
Rooms: $20+ Sapa Boutique Hotel, $140 Grand Hotel Ho Chi Minh City, $20-$100 Hanoi, $150 Cassia Cottages Phú Quốc (included breakfast). This is a resort so the price is higher but in this case I think it is probably a very good choice.
Trekking: We booked our day hikes in the hotel we staying at. We booked the guide after we had arrived. There are websites for treks with overnight stays in villages. 2 days 3 nights will cost around $170.
Overnight train fare from Hanoi to Lao Cai $25-$78. Connecting Bus (1 1/2 hr.) $2 one way.
Note: A trip to Halong Bay could be another place you should put on your list.

Sapa Rooms Boutique Hotel Lobby/Restaurant

Night Train to Sapa from Hanoi

Valley below Sapa on the slope of the Hoang Lien Son range of mountains
at the eastern extremity of the Himalayas.

Trek to Cat Cat Village

Cassia Cottages, Phú Quốc

I don't know when you last stayed in a $25 hotel room but it had been a very long time for me. We stayed in a very small hotel in Hanoi called Hanoi Gecko. The rooms were clean and the hotel was extremely small. The hotel owner was there to greet us personally and the breakfast we were served in the morning was in a dining room off the lobby. It was all just fine! On the other end of the spectrum, we found the resort on Phú Quốco be very luxurious in Vietnam's terms and within a few years the price will probably be beyond our reach. Our hotel in Ho Chi Minh City was indeed very nice but was not a 5* hotel. All in all the trade off we made for the cheap rooms allowed us to upgrade in other locations.

Shopping Viet Nam is still very affordable and Hanoi Old City is very much like it has always been I think. The charm of the way of life that reflects how the Vietnamese really live is still alive here as it is in Sapa. The farther you go south the costs seem to go up.

Market Place, HCMC

HCMC from the air.

A young frugal traveler that is willing to stay in less than *****hotels will find this to be a winner. At least that is what we found. Save up all your credit card points, keep a look out for cheap airline tickets or special...this could be the trekker adventurer's trip of a life time.

b

Stein Mart Coupons and ME!

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 09:08:00 PST

Link Here

Stein Mart here in Tucson (and maybe nationwide) is having a sale today (1/21/12). Valentines day is coming. We are going dancing next week end. Did I mention...I love Stein Mart! This is the store designed for women that like classic, beautiful, stylish, and inexpensive clothes. It is a wonderful stop even if they are not having a sale. Doesn't that describe you? Really, this store is just perfect. In fact, walking in the door will have your heart pumping. At least that is what it does for me.

I love a good sale and I LOVE STEIN MART! That is all I have today.

b

How Old is Your Retirement Financial Advisor?

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:46:00 PST

If I were a financial advisor I would really want to be near the age of the person I was advising or have dealt personally with the problems of a family member or friend that was retired! The internet is filled with ads for people that want to tell others who are retiring how to invest their money and how much retirement income they will need. But, unless they have been personally and emotionally involved in the finances of a senior, they probably know zip!

I was reading an article put out by a leading financial group the other day saying the same thing. According to the person writing this article, the thing most advisors are forgetting is the emotional and financial cost of maintaining our bodies (health care). The money figures they quoted were staggering.

According to the estimates in Figure 2, a man age 55 in 2009 would need between $144,000 and $290,000 by the time he reached age 65 in 2019 (depending upon his use of prescription drugs in retirement) to have a 50 percent chance of having enough money to cover premiums and out-of-pocket expenses for Medigap and Medicare Part D
Women age 55 would be able to save the same $46,200 as 55-year-old men if interest rates were 1 percent, but would need between $210,000–$406,000 by the time they reach age 65 in 2019 to have a 50 percent chance of having enough savings to cover premiums and out-of-pocket expenses in retirement.

These figure released in 2010 by the Employee Benefits Research Institute are the latest I can find and probably don't take into account new benefits or loss of benefits that have been instituted over the last 2 years.

Living for six month of the year in a 55+ community has giving we some insight to the good and bad of health care choices. For example, we see people that do not have the benefit of physical therapy after surgery. Recovery takes so much longer and is not complete. In other cases we witness the effects of poor dental care and all the problems it brings. Many people are dependent on the Veteran's Administrations for care and it has been a disaster. In some cases all of these come together to create the perfect storm. On the other hand, those with good health care benefits can live a very long and healthy life.

Living by the seat of our pants is not a good thing. Find a good retirement advisor be sure he/she is good because they truly understand the emotional side of living with the spektor of poor health care for the rest of your life.

Just a thought.

b

Technorati Tags: Financial Advisors, Retirement, HealthCare

Note: Be sure of the cost before you enter into an agreement. In 2006 Kiplinger said:

A commission only advisor can offer you the advice you need and the cost will be amazingly low. this is because they are still early on in the "learning process". Dont let that scare you - if you go with a big firm, they will likely have a strict review process to ensure you are getting excellent advice (and doing nothing stupid).

Read more: http://forums.kiplinger.com/showthread.php?6561-Financial-advisor-costs&s=4f5052f5c810348950a19683e2c0c1db#ixzz1k28Ib3B5
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You Don't need to be Bored in Retirement! Hobbies

noreply@blogger.com (Barbara Torris) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:20:00 PST

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Learning to draw on my ipad!

I heard from a Keith of Keith's Ramblings the other day. He has just retired and commented on his own blog that he was already bored! Being the helpful person I am, I suggested he become a clown. He could join the circus!

Even though I was only joking, in some small way I was serious. Have you ever dreamed of being a clown...or a writer or a pro-golfer? Retirement is the time when you can pursue those dreams. The fact that you do not need the income frees you to do what you want without fear of starving! All you have to do is start. But being bored really should not be a choice. You may have a little let down when you retire but before long you will begin thinking about what you will do next. Retirement will last a long time so "next" is the key word here.

I always wanted to be a writer. I woke up every morning for years with the first line of the next great American novel on my lips. My regret now is that I didn't keep a list of those "first" lines. Peanut's Snoopy and I could have compared notes. When my husband and I retired, my son suggested that I begin blogging. We were traveling at the time so I just began talking to my grandchildren by way of the internet. That dream blog evolved into stories, poetry and eventually this blog about all that retirement holds.

Would you believe that the thing that bothered me the most in the beginning was my keyboarding skills? I wanted to publish what I wrote immediately but being my own editor was harder than I ever dreamed. Those first few years of writing look so shabby to me now. I am sure that what I write today will look that way to me in a few years too.

What I have learned is that I am happier when I am busy. I can still learn with practice so new things don't frighten me anymore. If for no other reason than happiness, starting a new thing that you can become passionate and even a little obsessed is a good thing. Being involved will keep you off the streets. Last of all, practice will make you better, stronger and more confident.

Don't tell me you are bored! Didn't you always want to be a clown? Today is the day!

b

Technorati Tags: happiness, ipad, blogs, avocations, bored