Return to Rural

On Not Moving with a Frantic Mind

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 19 May 2012 20:40:00 +0000

I don't know what to do with myself today.
Can't sit still.
Can't move about.
Can't focus.
Can't get myself to want to focus.
No mail came for me. Might as well go back to bed.
Next weekend is moving day... should be packing up. Is it weird that even though we're moving next Saturday I feel like it's too early to pack up?* What if I need my stationery? What if I need my purple pashmina? Do I really need to take down my picture collage above my desk today?
This is grasping.
If I pack up my Dharma books, I'll inevitably want to reference one of them after the box is full and taped.
This is clinging.
If I packed up everything but the bare essentials (who defines what's essential?), seeing everything else sit for a week would drive me batty.
This is NOT renunciation.
What if I just said screw it, procrastinated and watched some tv instead?
I don't want to watch tv. At the new place, we won't even have a tv. And for a while, we won't have internet either.
Let's look at the upside: the new place is close to the Dharma center, and just a few blocks from the beach. Not that we really go to the beach, but it's there nevertheless. It is a little place where I'll be able to cook and write to my heart's content. I hope to be very happy there.
I'm going to get a rubber tree plant. And maybe a purple wandering jew.* Spider plants are nice but I dislike their name.
What if there are spiders in the new place!?
I have my bug buddy bug catcher to safely remove them.
I already wrote out our moving announcements. I could walk them to the mailbox but I'm not suitably dressed for an outing. I could be suitably dressed but my bed head would give my crazy away. I was going to say cray-cray away. How stupid is that?
A good thing about moving is that I'll get to see all the artwork that's been stored away for so long. My grandfather's paintings, my Tibetan thangkha collection, my great grandmother's portrait. My altar!
Mine, mine, mine. All these things that I've successfully lived without for over a year but couldn't part with all those times I purged and sorted and donated other things. These are the essentials. The fundamentals. The things I define as mine.
I'm still disappointed about the mail.
Maybe I'll find some lunch now.

*most of our stuff is already packed and in storage anyway
*I'm sorry I don't know the proper biological name for the plant

Six Word Saturday: Two Pitch-ins in One Week!?

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 19 May 2012 08:30:00 +0000

Cooked like a fool this week.

Wordless Wednesday: With Words

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Wed, 16 May 2012 08:30:00 +0000

courtesy Anne Taintor

Looking Ahead: Kind Directions from My Teacher

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sun, 13 May 2012 21:27:00 +0000

I recently received two emails that pleased me very much.

A few days ago I took a chance and sent an email to my Buddhism Teacher. I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do, but he's rather modern, and immensely kind, so I took the risk. His reply was swift and wisdom-filled and gave me permission to send him another email with some questions regarding a spiritual practice I am considering undertaking, the 8 Mahayana Precepts, for the holy Tibetan month of Saka Dawa (most of June) in which we celebrate the birth, enlightenment and death of Shakyamuni Buddha (the historical Buddha). His response was, again, swift and wisdom-filled and I'm so very thankful that he had time to answer. As the abbot of a monastery and a great Buddhist practitioner, he's extremely busy. That he should take time out of his busy life to answer my silly Dharma questions is extremely heartening and wonderful. I am truly blessed.

I had been considering doing a long-term fast during Saka Dawa that would allow me only to eat between sunrise and noon. In addition to eating vegetarian, I would also abstain from eggs, radishes, onions and garlic. These are the traditional "black foods" though I'm not exactly sure why they're called black. I think that they can excite the body and that's counter-productive to meditation. They might also be farty foods... I've heard both explanations. Rinpoche said that onions can cause "some physical changes that may trigger some bad type of emotion." I LOVE onions but would like to avoid bad types of emotions, so they'll be nixed during the fast. I say I had been considering doing the fast but after the email from Rinpoche, it's definitely ON. He gave me three options for keeping the ordination (it's considered a temporary ordination though you could take them for life if you wanted to): whole month, half month, or three special days. I'm still pondering which to do, or maybe I'll do them in stages. Obviously I have a few weeks to work out the details.

And details there will be. Being diabetic, fasting can be tricky. I know I can be a bear when I'm hungry so I'll need to be mindful of that and not do or say anything that creates any negativity. The karma created during this month is multiplied a billion fold (well, something like that) so participating in virtuous activities is encouraged. I'll continue to sponsor Ani Yangchen-la at Dolma Ling in Dharamsala, and hopefully also sponsor some butterlamps in honour of the flourishing of the Buddha's teachings. I should get out my prayer wheel, too...

Here's to a meaningful and fruitful Saka Dawa!

Six Word Saturday: Stinky Dog

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 12 May 2012 18:38:00 +0000

Dog needs a bath. HATES water.

37: Unique and Colourful

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Mon, 07 May 2012 16:50:00 +0000

Today is my birthday. I'm 37.

Typically I do a fundraiser for Students for a Free Tibet but this year I'd simply like to invite you to do something kind for someone today. Buy the person behind you a coffee. Hold the door open. Write someone a letter (I'm not hinting!). Do something kind and then rejoice in creating positive merit, and dedicate that for the benefit of all sentient beings. Dedicate it for the long lives of the Teachers who guide us. Dedicate it so it's "locked" and can't degenerate in these degenerate times.

In which California doesn't trust Indiana, or the Feds, to tell them who I am

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 08:00:00 +0000

My tale begins last Wednesday. I had an appointment with the Department of Motor Vehicles to get my California driver license. I showed up on time, with everything I thought I ought to have, and was ushered through to a window where a nice gentleman processed my application. I was almost to the end, and ready to go take the written test, when I noticed that the receipt he gave me had my maiden name on it.

"Can I get this with my married name?" I asked.

"We have you in the system under Montague. To change it we'd need to see your marriage certificate," the nice man replied. "Do you want to stop now and come back another time?"

He proceeded to explain to me that if I went ahead and got the license with the wrong name (they had me under my maiden name from when I got my original driver license when I was 17), I'd just have to come back with the marriage certificate and pay an extra $25 to update the license to my married name. Never mind that my current Indiana driver license, my passport, and my social security card all have my married name on them. No, they need to see the marriage certificate.

Pan to me with a dumbfounded look on my face. *duh*

I informed the nice man that I would like to stop the proceedings and made another appointment for next Wednesday wherein I'll go through all the steps again, only with a copy of my marriage certificate in hand. If I can find it.

Just where is a copy of our marriage certificate? In the file cabinet? In storage? Could I have turned it into stationery and mailed it to someone? That'd be just like me. I'll spend some time on Sunday trying to locate the darn thing. I'm usually much more organized about these things but since we moved over a year ago I've been sort of confused by my own organizational system. I should maybe work on that.

Six Word Saturday: Saturdays & Sundays Off!

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Last working Saturday for a while!

Finally got weekends off like normal.

Sravasti Abbey's 21 Million Manis Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 08:00:00 +0000

artist's rendering of Sravasti Abbey's Chenrezig Hall

The Friends of Sravasti Abbey kicked off their 21 Million Manis campaign this week. The idea is for all Sravasti Abbey supporters to help accumulate great merit to aid in the means and conditions for Chenrezig Hall, a new community building and guest house, to be built. They are encouraging folks to say the Chenrezig mantra Om Mani Padme Hum, to keep count of your manis, and report the number back to FOSA via their website. Our aim is for 21 million manis by Tibetan Vesak, June 4th. It will take great resources, funds, and the proper conditions to arise for this project to be accomplished. By saying manis we can help!

The FOSA website has some great resources for the project, including a long and short Chenrezig practice, and a mani-counting worksheet.

In Which Saturdays and Sundays are Exactly Where They're Supposed to Be

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:57:00 +0000

I'm giving my friend Cate's Punch in the Face award to myself today.

*punch*punch*punch*

Guess who didn't use her planner well, and hence showed up for work today on her day off?

mememememememeeeeee. I high-tailed it out of there once I'd realized my mistake. Just last Sunday I was advised that they'd changed my schedule to M-F with weekends off. But I was told one thing, got emailed another, and amongst it all didn't write any of it down, so I was just left topsy-turvey and in the wrong place at the wrong time. So it turns out that I still have to work this upcoming Saturday, but it should be the last one for a while. My Fridays will really be Fridays, instead of my Saturdays or Tuesdays being Fridays and Sunday never being Sunday. Now Saturday will be Saturday and Sunday will be Sunday and Monday will be that day everyone grumbles about while Wednesday will be "we're almost to Friday" day.

The Great Teacher Search of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:13:00 +0000

Still not quite settled following the visit by His Holiness the Dalai Lama last weekend. It's hard to believe that it was just a few days ago that we were standing so very close to Him. I'm discombobulated and out of sync and it may be another week yet before I feel like my feet are touching the ground. We got word from our Geshes that His Holiness was pleased with the event, pleased with us. Amazing! We always hope to do our Teachers proud.

I'm keen on studying teacher-student relationships these days because next month I'll be receiving Teachings from a Rinpoche whom I respect very much, and in whose good graces I'd like to be. But what's the protocol? I know of folks who have simply asked a teacher to be their guide, sometimes using the language of "this life and future lives" (because we believe the teacher-student relationship is karmic and usually lengthy), and I know folks who simply KNOW that a certain teacher is their teacher, without the need for anything formal. I'm not sure which I'm comfortable with. I would like to meet this Teacher in person and am considering asking for a personal audience. But why? Is it out of some ego-need to be recognized? Is it so He can see what a good, obedient student I'd be? I hope that's not my motivation. I like I'd just like to pose a question or two about my Dharma practice, to get His input and guidance. I also want to check Him out. Is He kind? Does He listen? Does He express concern, empathy, understanding? Does He have the qualities of a good teacher as outlined in the scriptures?

I have a concern that should I get an audience with Him, I'll cry. I do that sometimes. I'll get caught up in the moment and lose my words. I don't suppose it'd be appropriate to hand a Rinpoche a carefully written heartfelt essay?

They say that your Teacher will appear when you're ready... spiritually mature enough for the relationship, and I'm hoping that now's my time. Which is not to say that I feel spiritually mature, but you get the point. This Teacher is based in India but travels here to the West Coast quite often. Other Geshes from His monastery teach regularly at my local Dharma center so I'm comfortable that I'm staying in the lineage. Lineage is important when it comes to things like ancient knowledge and wisdom.

I'm making inquiries and doing some homework about the whole thing... stay tuned and we'll see how it turns out!

Reflections on an Event

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 19:52:00 +0000

His Holiness the Dalai Lama was in town this weekend for a teaching and a public talk. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to volunteer to help with some of the logistics of the teaching. It was an amazing experience and one that I won't soon forget. Some thoughts I'll share here, others I'll jot down just for me, and some I'll share with my home Dharma center as they asked for reflections from us volunteers.

I spent a good deal of time on Friday morning directing traffic to the registration lines where people picked up their tickets for the teaching. I walked A LOT. And stood A LOT. Both Friday and Saturday. I helped distribute blessed items on both days with a wonderful team of people who all recalled that we were first and foremost in the service of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and public representatives of our Dharma center. We worked together well and everyone did their jobs well. Our team leaders were proud of us and we rejoice in the merit we created.

I was thrilled to see old friends and meet new friends this weekend. I saw my dear teacher Geshe Loten from Bloomington, and Geshe Jinpa Sonam from Indianapolis. I saw an artist friend I hadn't seen in YEARS named Tenpa Tsering. I met Venerables Tarpa and Chonyi from Sravasti Abbey, and saw Venerable Chodron but didn't have the opportunity to meet her.

When I learned of the opportunity to see His Holiness this morning (I learned of it last night), I almost didn't go. I had myriad (useless) excuses, one being that I am VERY tired (but can you imagine how tired His Holiness is?), another being that I've been privileged to attend these kinds of audiences with His Holiness before. But then I started thinking about the people on my team and how we should be there together so ultimately I decided to go. There was a lot of standing, waiting, but when His Holiness finally buzzed through the room, we were all refreshed and thrilled. The famed photographer Don Farber snapped a few group pictures, and once His Holiness had left we were given the gift of a poster of one of Mr. Farber's most famous photos of His Holiness in meditation as a thank you for volunteering.

I share all this not to try to sound important but because I want to point out that doing positive things brings positive results. Just as I type this, I received word from my job that moving forward I'll have weekends off (I did have split days off)... coincidentally, there will be weekend teachings I'd like to hear at my Dharma center that I'll now be able to attend. Amazing!

All told, a great weekend.

Six Word Saturday: Blissed Out

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 15:00:00 +0000

His Holiness the Dalai Lama... WOW.

Slow Clothing and the Denim Skirt

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:00:00 +0000

I live in a denim skirt. I have 2, and I live in them. For my money (and comfort, and ease of washing), you can't beat denim. It also wears well and lasts a long time. That might be my favourite thing about it. And when it does get a hole, it looks even better, whether frayed or with a patch. I recently reassessed my spring/summer "wardrobe" and found it to be lacking in witty, colourful t-shirts without holes, so I splurged on 3 from $6 shirts. Two of them are designs I already own but whose holes have grown noticeable. Not a bad run... I've had them for several years. When I'm not spilling food all over the bosomy section of my shirts, I believe in treating my clothing well, so it lasts as long as possible. I am not interested in the least in fashion, what's "hot" or anything else of the sort. I wear what I like and what's modest.

Courtney over at The Greenists wrote the Slow Clothing Manifesto and I'm all for it. I'm totally in support of treating your clothing like the mid-term investments they ought to be and not thinking that they're disposable. Use it up! Make it do!

Ideally, I'd be a comfortable size 10 swaddled in organic linens and cottons, clay dyed and lovingly crafted by artisans, or rocking a swell 1980's denim skirt with a real retro Pepsi shirt (with a charming hole in the armpit) that I found at my local Goodwill. But I'm limited by a tight budget and a size issue. It seems like no fat people other than me donate clothing because when I go to the thrift store, I rarely find anything that'll fit. I think it's because a lot of fat girl clothes are cheaply made and just doesn't stand the test of time or washings. I know this personally. Actually, one of my goals in losing weight is to be able to shop in thrift stores and make greener choices. I'd also like to buy a dress from Dress Barn because I like the name of their establishment.*

Let's talk quantity. How many clothes do we really need? Have you ever been in an old rural home? Not exactly full of closet space, was it? Way back when we only needed a pair or two of everyday clothes, and a set of Sunday best and that was enough. The same principles still apply in the rest of the rural world though I'm sure it's more out of necessity than personal choice. Still, we have access to washing machines and clotheslines and probably really don't need 2/3 of what's in our closets. You know those t-shirts I bought up top? Because I bought 3 new items, that means at least 3 old items need to go. At least 1 of them will be a holey t-shirt. I think I also have a few t-shirts that shrunk (KOHLS! Your clothing is notorious for shrinking!) which I'll also give away. Why not wait until I've lost weight and can fit into them? Because they're gathering dust in my closet and somebody else could think they're a total treasure when they find them at ARC next week. I don't hold on to things that don't presently fit, with the exception of a few Tibetan wardrobe pieces.

I challenge you to find at least 3 items you can give away from your closet right now. There are things in there you haven't thought about, have been saving for some reason, or otherwise don't use. And consider Courtney's Slow Clothing manifesto next time you buy.

*I am aware that Dress Barn has a "women's" section.

Currently Obsessed With... Ghee!

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:17:00 +0000

Hello, hello friends! I'm starting a new little series of posts called "Currently Obsessed WIth..." and this inaugural post is about ghee.

Just say it... GHEE! It's so happy! Ghee is the Indian (Tamil? Hindi? I'm not sure) word for clarified butter. That's butter that has had all the solids and water removed through heating. It's essentially butter oil. I made my own organic batch this past week. If you're interested at all in Indian cookery, I'd highly recommend it. But, if you're not up to it, you can probably find some at your local natural food market or Indian grocery.

Why am I fussing around with Ghee? Because I'm also currently co-obsessed with Ayurveda, or ancient Indian medicine. I'm working through two books, Ayurveda: A Life of Balance by Maya Tiwari and Ayurvedic Cooking for Self Healing by Usha and Dr. Vasant Lad. I've found both to be excellent guides to the principles of Ayurvedic living. It's simple, natural living according to the seasons, your constitution, and daily patterns. You can learn more at Dr. Lad's website. I am constitutionally (physically, emotionally, etc) a Kapha body type. We are thick, smooth, gracious and have loving eyes. Sounds nice, right? We're also prone to be overweight, lazy, and oily (guilty!). Anyway, the books give certain dietary and behavioural recommendations for balancing one's nature for optimum health. I have weight to lose, triglycerides to lower, and diabetes to control and I think remedying my relationship with food is the way to achieve all three.

One of the most important principles of Ayurveda is proper food preparation. Maya Tiwari considers every step of food preparation to be a sadhana, to be done with a mindful and prayerful attitude. From washing the rice to sauteeing the onions to seasoning the dish with fragrant spices and herbs, each step is important and the whole process should be imbued with love and gratitude. I love this idea. I want my food to be my medicine. I'm eating more vegetarian meals (this from a girl who used to be vegan!), avoiding packaged foods, and spending more happy hours in the kitchen.

I'm confident in Ayurvedic principles because, without really knowing about them, I used to live by them many years ago. Though I was in a sketchy phase of my life, I lost weight, exercised regularly and made all my own food and on the whole benefited greatly. So I know it can work. Stay tuned to follow along on the journey.

Do you have any experience with Ayurveda? How have you fared?

In Which I'm Absolutely NOT Hip, and I'm Totally OK with It

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 03:02:00 +0000

I spend a considerable amount of time avoiding the media. Not like I'm famous or anything...what I mean is that I generally don't watch the news or television, or listen to the radio. My mind is easily filled up with foolishness like songs and pop culture facts and I'd rather use my mind for things like, oh, I don't know, meditation and memorizing practices and things like that. Or heck, I'd like to remember birthdays and the like, starting with my own. Ok, I know when my birthday is but I'm not entirely sure how old I am. I guess we can save that math equation for another time. Anyway, Twitter fell into the same realm of feeling like it was feeding me excess information so I left it a week or so ago. Hadn't used it in a while so there was no real twitching or fretting.

Not being one who sees commercials (except for the occasional ones seen watching Hulu now and then), I don't have any idea what Hunger Games is about. I'm only slightly confident in knowing that it was a book before a movie. I know there's someone named Peeta who bakes bread or something, and somebody named Katniss with a crooked braid on the back of her head. That's all I know. AND I'M TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT. In addition, I know there's some mop-headed young man named Harry Styles that people are fawning over on Pinterest but I haven't the slightest interest in finding out who he or someone with the peculiar name of Zayn is. Are they singers? Actors? Disney stars? Who cares? NOT THIS GIRL! Blissfully out of the loop, thankyouverymuch.

The things I do know only come from inference based on what I've seen on the life-sucking vortex that is Pinterest. Oh, Pinterest. You're a good idea in theory but an instigator of grasping at things and ideas that may or may not ever come to fruition. Whether or not some of them should come to fruition is another thing. A chocolate chip cookie wrapped oreo? Fingernails painted to look like hamburgers? I don't think so. It all belongs, ironically, on my "Um, no" board. Ultimately I'll leave Pinterest too and then I'll be even further out of the loop. Sweet!

In Which I Return to my Gothic Roots

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 08:21:00 +0000

Most folks who know me now didn't know me in high school. In high school, for a time, I was one of those mopey, all black wearing kids that listened to dischordant music and avoided the sun. I wasn't very good at it... I'm too naturally harmonious musically (I was in chorus!) and had a penchant for wearing all white. Still, I was one of them. The black had to be the blackest black, and the laces in my Docs had to be just so.

I guess the kids are called emo now and I wouldn't know an emo band from an industrial one (is there still a music called industrial?) but you will catch me wearing mostly black and grey a good 4 to 5 days a week. Why? Because that's my work uniform. I built myself a uniform because I hate looking in my closet and ever thinking "what am I going to wear?" When all you have to choose from is black and grey, it's hard to get it wrong.

I've got 2 grey skirts, 2 black skirts, a white blouse, a grey blouse and a black blouse with corresponding camisoles (because Grandma said a lady wears a camisole, and I never knew Grandma to be wrong about such things). I have a pair of black ankle boots and a pair of sparkly black Toms. Business casual is required when I'm working Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly to do with myself on Fridays and Saturdays when the dress code is more relaxed. Last Saturday it was a red Mayan calendar t-shirt, purple skirt and purple Toms. I felt too much like myself (meaning frumpish and comfortable, totally unprofessional) and resolved to find a better Friday/Saturday uniform, probably a denim skirt and a polo. Maybe a red one, just to jazz things up. Then again, it's a polo, so how jazzy can it be?

Where're the pants, you might ask. I don't do pants. Or slacks, trousers, pedal pushers, shorts or skorts. Also, my skirts always fall below my knees. I have no desire to impress anyone at work. I just want to be suitably dressed and get the job done without wasting any thoughts at all on fashion. Anyone who's seen my Pinterest board knows my fashion sense falls somewhere between Little House on the Prairie and Woodstock.

Six Word Saturday: Settling In

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

New schedule: takes time to settle.

In Which I'm Hacked and Not Happy About It

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:40:00 +0000

One of my email accounts was hacked. They set about spamming my friends and family, a fact I didn't know about until a friend pointed it out to me. I set about changing my password and hope that resolves the issue. It's not an email we use frequently so really it's probably time I got around to canceling it. If you receive something from either of my Yahoo! accounts, delete it. It's not me sending it. Also, let me know so I can try to do something about it from my side.

Speaking of canceling, I had to cancel my debit card today because somebody out there somehow got my card number and used it on an $80 joy ride through the iTunes store. I went to my credit union today and was told I need to contact iTunes first to dispute the charges before I can fill out a "charge back" form and ask the credit union to reverse the charges. They'll then do an "investigation." Sigh.

Ah, digital world. I've been so blissfully untouched by your inherent evils. Looks like it may be time to start disengaging and untangling our dalliance.

Girlyfight Accomplishments Worksheet

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:08:00 +0000

Learn to nurture your creativity at Girlyfight.

In Which Me and My Discomfort Have Words

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 07:37:00 +0000

This month I'm participating in a detox challenge. Today was my first full day. This week we're focusing on cutting out sugar and caffeine. I'll let you guess how it went.

*glares sarcastically in your general direction*

I am addicted to Excedrin Migraine. I've said this before. Caffeine alone doesn't take the edge off my craving... it's got to be the precious combo of ingredients found in those special, special pills. I am afraid of head pain... any twinge or twitch in my temples and I go running for pills. I suffered from severe migraines as a child and though I haven't had a proper migraine in years (thank goodness I ran out of that karma), I still fear the pain. As a matter of fact, I don't deal well with discomfort of an sort, really. The previous times I've tried to kick my Excedrin habit I was quite shocked with the amount of discomfort I had. Mental and physical. Today I had 2 pills. Normally I might have 4 or 5. Tomorrow I'll have 1. After that I may start pulling out my hair and barking.

Sugar's a bit easier for me to avoid because I'm more of a salty snacker. Still, I skipped my usual Rice Krispies this morning because the second ingredient is pure sugar. I opted for oatmeal instead. Quick cook oatmeal made with water. I don't recommend it AT ALL. I'll be heading to the market in the morning sometime to find a better choice. I'm told steel cut oats taste much better. I heard about a way to soak the oats overnight in milk in the refrigerator. I think that's the only way you'll get me to try them. I'm not a warm cereal fan. Still, I know oats are a good choice for a hearty breakfast so I'll do my best to find a way that I'll eat them.

So now let's discuss why it was that around dinnertime today (I was still at work) broke my positive momentum and not only popped Excedrin but started eating chocolate and kettle corn. And Jack in the Box tacos. And 1/2 an orange.

Mental discomfort. I had a project I wanted to do but I was at work and I didn't have all the tools I needed, nor the time, to start the project. I was feeling indecisive about some weekend plans, and was displeased with the outcome of a letter I'd started. I was unhappy that the USPS website kept giving me an error when I was placing my stamp order. My own dissatisfaction with menial, unimportant things toppled my motivation and down I fell. I'm not making excuses. It took some contemplation to recognize the dissatisfaction as the trigger. It was as if I just threw my hands up and shouted "Well, so what?!" At the time I feel very distracted and outside of the situation, like I'm watching it. Logically I'm aware that I'm making poor choices but I seem to just stand aside and judge while I watch myself do that which I ought not be doing. This is very interesting to me. This is something to examine and skillfully address.

Card Making Idiot makes Cards

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:10:00 +0000

Well, I haven't made any cards yet, but I'm going to.

I signed up at work to be a "virtual volunteer" for the palliative care division of my company, to make birthday cards for patients in hospice care. I recall the bright expression on my grandmother's face when she saw the birthday cards she received last June. She couldn't recall who the people were who sent them but she appreciated the colours and designs and messages of the cards.

I'm not really a card maker, per se. It just sounded like a fun and caring thing to do, so I said ok. I need to learn how to make pretty and creative cards stat! Somebody point me to a good card making site or blog!

I considered going to my local craft store and wandering the aisles. I know there are all kinds of pretty papers and card stocks and stickers and things I could turn into cards. But I worried that I'd go over-board if I went in without a plan so I decided to make a list of card ideas and then flesh-out what materials I'll need based on the list.

What are some themes that would be appropriate? Balloons? Cake? Candles? Maybe happy things like birds and ladybugs? Colourful lettering?

I really could use some help with ideas, y'all.

Girlyfight Creativity Prompt: A Day without Obligations

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:58:00 +0000

This week's creativity prompt from Girlyfight:

Pretend you have the day off from all obligations. The only thing on your to do list is to spend the time on those creative pursuits you always want to enjoy but can’t for whatever reason. That reason doesn’t exist today, so what will you do?

Hmmm, firstly, if I had no obligations (and presumably no one around telling me what to do), I'd make a mess. My creativity of choice being letter writing, I'd take out every pen, pencil, eraser, sticker, note card, stationery, envelope, rubber stamp, glue stick and postage stamp I owned and lay them all out in an organized fashion all over the living room floor, just to do an assessment and really see what I've got. Or more importantly, to see what else I need! I'd shuffle and reshuffle everything, enjoying seeing things I forgot I had, and recognizing the go-to goods I use too often. I'd make random stationery "care packages" for some of my pen pals and set aside some of the good stuff for use with my closest friends.

For lunch I'd make garlic and parmesan angel hair pasta. I'd eat while I wrote so some of my letters might have little spots of olive oil on them. Gross? Or charming?

If I have no obligations today, could I also have unlimited dollars today? I'd hit up Etsy and the USPS online store as well as a craft store or two for card making supplies. Though it technically is an obligation, I recently volunteered through work to make cheerful birthday cards for hospice patients. On this, my day without obligations, I'd take some time out to carefully craft beautifully colourful cards and simple messages of wishes for a wonderful day.

At the end of my day I'd have a basket full of cards and notes and letters ready to be sent out. I will have touched base with everyone I think about so often, and they will be all caught up on what's going on with me lately. I often forget to whom I write what so I'll have carefully logged all my correspondence. I'll gather up my mess and re-store it in the drawers and baskets it all calls home.

The Story of a Blazer

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:06:00 +0000

For many a year, my friend Sarah and I enjoyed chatting at length about professional development and how to comfortably pull off business casual. Sarah wins at professionalism, hands down, being that she's been with the same company at which we met oh-so-many years ago and has gone from a lowly CSR to a certified trainer in a mere five or so years. Maybe longer. But anyway, she always did business casual much better and I did... I know the principles but am unwilling to fork over the dollars for the nicer clothes, and/or what I'm attracted to isn't necessarily the things I should be wearing. I also tend to be rather simple and repetitive. At one point, Sarah's mom was offering to make me skirts because they always saw me wearing the same one (I got rid of it a long time ago though I admit I still think of it now and then) so often. Anyway, with Sarah's influence from afar, my mother's suggestions, and my own wherewithal, I've crafted a professional wardrobe that's maybe 80% ok: modest skirts in black and grey, 3/4 and full sleeve blouses in muted colours, grey sweaters (I have FOUR!), stuff like that. I have a nice pair of black boots and a sparkly pair of black Toms. On casual Fridays and weekends we can wear denim and t-shirts. And then we have the kicker that is the black. knit. blazer.

I probably acquired my black knit blazer sometime last year while I was job hunting. I got a pair of black trousers (at my mother's insistence despite the fact that I don't wear pants) and this nicely cut, multi-buttoned knit blazer. Both of these items sat in the back of my car for probably 6 months or more. Even after I started working, it just didn't occur to me to wear the darn thing. And then I got a new job and moved into a part of the building that needs to be kept cool 24/7 because the servers are there. I needed something nicer than a stained navy blue sweatshirt to keep bundled up in my cube. And though I'm a swaddler in terms of scarves, I don't believe in wearing blankets at work. Enter the wonder that is the black knit blazer.

It's perfect. It keeps me warm. It makes me look professional and pulled together when really I'm a good-natured scatterbrained mess. I can add a touch of personality to the ensemble with a colourful or sparkly scarf, whimsical brooch or rhinestone barrette. It's shocking to me that I let my blazer hang in my closet for so long. Now I'd like to get a couple more blazers (in grey, of course!) to keep it company. I feel silly going on for so long about a jacket but it really was a case of duh.

Perhaps next time we can analyze why I like grey so much and why I felt like 2 grey sweaters was too few while 5 may be too many but for some reason 4 is just right. Does it matter that they're different shades of grey?

Six Word Saturday: Tailored

noreply@blogger.com (TMC) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 19:28:00 +0000

A fine blazer sharpens you up!

(post forthcoming)