The concept of a "Summer Camp" to those that don't live in the North is probably quite foreign. In fact, if it conjures any image at all, it's more than likely of a group camp affiliated with a church or scouting organization that younger children attend for a few weeks each summer. In a way, it is kind of like that, only, usually on a smaller scale and much more close knit.

When I grew up, my Grandmother had (and still has) a Summer Camp in Vermont. Even after staying with her at Camp for entire summers, I still didn't really understand what it meant or why anyone would put forth the money and trouble. This year it's starting to make more sense. It's not a place, or a season, or certain people. Sure, these things all get included in the end. But, above all that, it's a way of life, a set of values, and a shared bond between family and friends. And that's where I've spent my past two weeks.

Of course every Camp is different. My In-Laws Camp tends to be quiet, laid back, and relaxed and happens to be equipped with most of the luxuries of home. Other Camps are really just houses on the lake and set in the woods. Others have no running water, save for the complicated array of tubes and water barrels you've designed, a kitchen that's just a basin and a stove under an awning, and more out houses than bedrooms.

Regardless of what a camp is like, if it's something that is loved and cherished, then being there will be an experience all of it's own. Maybe a Summer Camp we'll have one day. Either, one of our own, or one to share part in with others. Some place to bring my own children up with those same values and shared bonds.

Since the sun's already up, I don't have to worry about my desire to get any where before sunrise. It nice and overcast which means great things for photography opportunities today. I'm pretty sure I'm taking the route through Watertown this morning, though I've got no one to answer to so I might change my mind. A quick poke at various weather forecasts shows that it might actually be overcast and stormy in the places I could travel tomorrow. So, if it's not too late, maybe I'll take the ferry at Tobemory after all, instead of going through Barrie. Then I can see the Island and Bruce Peninsula all in one day.

If you really want to know where I'm at you should check out my Bright Kite stream. I'll keep it updated as often as I can. I turned off the sync between it and Twitter because it was annoying some people. Ha.

Went the casino last night. I really, really, really love playing Craps. I love that it's complicated for no good reason. I love all of the superstition around it. I love that (most) everyone at the table is rooting for the same thing. I love that, even at the cheapest table in the house, if you're playing well, you still end up with $50 on the table at any given time to lose. I love that there is so much math involved if you want there to be, but, if you'd rather not think about it, you can still play along. I lost $100 last night. Not too bad considering I'd told myself I could lose $200 and then just decided I was tired after 3 hours. I've never been able to come out ahead in Craps. I don't really have a gambler in me (though Craps is the exception). But, if I did he'd say that if I went in the game with more cash I'd stand a better chance of coming out ahead. Something more like $500 or $600.

Some time in the next two days I'll become mostly unreachable via Mobile Phone or email and will remain that way for about 2 weeks. So, if you need anything, leave a message and wait a few days for me to get back to you. Since I use Google Reader to keep up with websites and even LiveJournal, there's little chance I'll miss anything I really care about. However, just to be safe, you right something important or really interesting, do me a favor and drop me an email with a link so I'll be sure not to miss it.

It will be hard to find any solitude during these travels. I'll be surrounded by my In-Laws and all of their family for the next two weeks while staying at a summer camp. I won't be able to find a corner alone unless I'm willing to actually leave on my own. Of course I have no problem with this usually, but this makes me appear to be rude if I do it too often and actually makes me real, honest-to-goodness bear bait, if I sit too alone or too quietly, much to the amusement of my In-Laws. My attempts to talk Jess into going with me don't usually work, either. Maybe I should just buy some bells for my shoes.

Regardless of all that, I'm still hoping to get some soul seeking done some how. I've been having a really hard time lately. Several of you have picked up on this and talked to me about it which I really appreciate. I have some amazing, selfless friends.

That's enough for now. Think of me, and send lots of love for me to pick up when I reconnect now and then.

Last night I wanted to go for a walk in one of my favorite parks and make photographs under the storm clouds. Unfortunately the storm clouds began to rain and I was reluctant to even leave my hotel. With a few deep breaths I just let it go. I packed what I needed into my bag and headed out. I walked in the rain with my bag slung over my shoulder. My camera was in a cumbersome bag meant to protect it from water. Despite being difficult to use, I made a choice to not concern myself with the difficulty. I had to keep clearing the lens port of rain drops, my face was dripping into my eyes, my bag was soaked, my shirt was sticking to my chest, and I just didn't care. I laughed. I damn near fell in the lake more than once. I said "hello" to the few people out walking in the rain. I loved every second of it.

There's a big part of me that worries about everything and everyone. I spend so much time worrying that I forget to enjoy myself. I'm proud of myself that I am thoughtful, that I plan things through, that I consider others, that I worry about people. That makes me who I am and I wouldn't change that. But, I need to learn to loosen up a bit too or all the planning and worrying will never lead to anything I can enjoy.

So that's it. My big lesson of the day, founded, forged, and tested all in an evening under a rain cloud.

I wish Jet or Morgan could have been there. Of all the people I cherish in my life, I can think of no one that would have appreciated it more than them, and no one that I would have rather spent it with.

I'm pretty sure I'm not taking the Ferry from Tobermory. Sure, I might change my mind at the last minute and hope for the best but, the added travel time just doesn't make sense considering how eager I am to see my little girl. Besides, I think the time and money would be better spent if I planned a trip out there during my stay at "Camp" these next two weeks. Then I can give the Island and the Peninsula the time and effort it deserves.

Free Wifi and never ending coffee at Denny's is awesome. Even if it is really noisy.

I'm hoping I can dodge any invitations to any kind of dinner event this evening so that I can go for a nice long walk at my favorite Syracuse Park: Green Lakes. Then again, I heard a couple of guys talking about this "new wing place you just have to try" and I think they were aiming for tonight. We'll see.

Then thursday night, I'll either end up going to bed early or heading out to the casino to blow a couple hundred dollars at a Craps table. It depends on what I'm going to do the next day.

I think that I might drive to Toronto via Watertown. If I leave around 5am, I'll be to the Lake Ontario just in time to catch the good light. Then I'll still have 9 hours to make a 4 hour trip. But I can always waste more time at the Islands or pay the crazy parking rates in Toronto and explore on my own before I meet Kim.

As crazy as they are, as insistant and demanding as they can be, as hectic as the time I spend with them can get, I like my family. My family, my extended family, and even my in-laws. Yesterday I got 4 phone calls of people singing me happy birthday. It's a small thing, sure, and, at the time, it was interrupting a hectic day and that made it kind of annoying. But at the end of the day when I close my eyes to sleep, it feels good to know that people are thinking of me. I even got to hear my Niece screaming at my brother until he'd let her talk to me so she could say "happy birthday" too.

These next few weeks have me wound up quite a bit. The problem is that I am a planner and a worrier, and my wife and my mother-in-law are the exact opposite of that. So, I end up not coming up with things for me to do, worried that it might step on the toes of something they've planned to do when, in the end, they never plan to do anything. However, when I finally give myself enough freedom to make some sort of plan, it's usually met with the knowledge that they have made plans and, of course, mine interfere with theirs. So, being selfless and a worrier, I generally give in to thier plans and opt not to make any more for myself.

This year, I'm going to try something different. I'm going to make plans for myself starting from day one. If they make plans and tell me about them and everything works out, then great. But if they come up with plans too late and I like my own plans better then I'm keeping my own plans. It's easier said than done. I'm a push over. And I don't like to cause trouble or upset people. But, it's my goal at least.

There are so many things I want to see and do. Here's the short list: Bruce Peninsula National Park, Manitoulin Island, Lake Superior National Park, Pukaskwa National Park. and Killarney. I doubt I'll get all that in. Some of those are quite difficult to plan a trip around, especially when my "home base" is in the middle of no where with no cell service or internet access. But, it's something to try.

If you know of anything closer to Webbwood, Ontario worth seeing, please, let me know.

I leave you now with this photo of my Neice, Sheridan.

These are my options:

• I can take my time in Rochester, Buffalo, and Niagra Falls. Maybe pick out some state parks or look for some industrial areas to visit.
• I can take a dip down through Ithaca and explore the finger lakes.
• I can go up through Watertown, NY and explore the islands at the mouth of Lake Ontario, the many parks in that area, and then drive along the Northern Coast of Lake Ontario to get to Toronto.
• I can sleep in really, really late, drive straight through, and get to Toronto just early enough to do a little shopping.

On Saturday I'm headed just outside of Webbwood, ON. From Toronto it's a 5 1/2 hour drive. These are my options:

• Head straight there, I've already wasted enough time and I miss my little girl.
• Take the Tobermory Ferry to Manitoulin Island and drive up through the Island to Webbwood. Straight through, this is about 7 hours, 2 of which are spent on the Ferry. However, Manitoulin is beautiful and I'm interested in seeing the Peninsula as well as the Bruce Peninsula National Park. So that 7 hour trip will become more like 9 hours and include 2 hours of photo taking. Of course, unless I get lucky and end up with some stormy weather (slightly possible, but not likely) I'll want to be there early morning or late evening for the best photos. This just isn't possible considering that it's 4 hours from Toronto (I'd have to leave at 2 or 3 in the morning). So, seeing it all will be nice, but the chancees of getting really good photographs is not all that high. But I get to spend the time on the Ferry with Kim and I get to go some place I've never been.

There was lots of family waiting for us when we got there. Had a great dinner and good times. Then settled in at my brother's place, made a late night trip to the Laundromat, and then called it a night.

This morning, I'm up for coffee and photo editing in downtown Burlington. Later today we'll all go out exploring.

Even though they didn't say it out loud, their faces spoke loudly enough. They didn't approve and they didn't think she should go through with this. But it was far too late now. Her eyes were wide, her hair wet with sweat, and she was all alone in this room. She was having Holiday. She would be a good mother. And she was never speaking to her family again.

– OneWord // HOLIDAY

I went to bed last night with the goal of getting up this morning, publishing a photograph or two, and writing something interesting, at least to me. I probably should have forced myself to do it last night, but the long day I had was wearing me thin and I was already starting to fall asleep. So I just went to bed.

I was wide awake at 3:30am. But, forced myself back to sleep knowing I have an even longer day in front of me. My alarm went off at 4:45am, just like I asked it to. I hit snooze. I thought I hit snooze. At 6:30am I get out of bed.

Knowing that I've lost two hours of my morning I can choose between A) being to work much later than I'd intended, B) not publishing anything, or C) just being a little later than planned and publishing something quick and easy. I go for option C. As I start to search for a photo I realize I haven't done a quick cleanup operation in my photo catalog in quite a while so I kick it off. Of course it gives me trouble. It should take 5 minutes. It's been running for over 20. And then, the software crashes and the clean up is lost. Of course.

So now I haven't written anything (except for this). I managed to get the software back up and pulled a photo out of it. Of course, I had to edit it even quicker than usual, which means I'll probably end up redoing it. If I wait much longer, I'll be stuck in traffic and end up at work a lot later than I want to be.

Welcome to my life — every day.

Send love, encouragement, excitement, distractions, and anything else you can muster. I'm going to need it today.

As she looked upon him seated on the other side of the table wearing a suit that looked so expensive she couldn't even imagine the cost, her eyes filled with tears and panic. She knew what was coming next.

"So, Sarah, in return, I have only one favor to ask of you."

– OneWord // FAVOR

I take a deep breath and stop her. I'm not from here either, but, maybe I can I help you find something? "Well, I was just looking for a little cafe to sit and have a cup of coffee." I am too, shall we look together? We laugh at the idea, our arms folded awkwardly, our eyes searching. Then we walk down the street together, laughing and talking.

I hold the door open for her. She walks in first. It's nothing special, nothing extraordinary, but it's ours. Our first house. Completely ours. We laugh at the sheer possibilities and end up laying side by side in a pile of undress in the middle of the living room floor, the door still open to the hallway. I get up to use the rest room.

As I enter the living room I notice she looks even more beautiful today than yesterday. Has she done something different? Is it my love for her, ever increasing? Is it our unborn child inside her? Does it even matter? I sit next to her on the couch, kiss her growing belly, and sigh a sigh of happiness and content. We sit for a moment hand in hand, words unspoken, before she heads off into the kitchen.

"Supper's ready!" she calls out. She's made an early dinner for just the two. Our two children still at home are off doing other things this evening. The table is decorated, candles are lit, wine is poured, and she looks as incredible to me as she did the day I met her on the street in New York City. We eat while talking about our day and playing footsie under the table. Even after all these years, her smile can still bring that burn to my chest. I clear the table after dinner as she goes to get herself ready. We're supposed to meet my daughter and her husband later that evening. They've got some news for us.

I walk into the living room full of Christmas gifts. All of the grandchildren stare at me with hungry, glistening eyes knowing that Christmas doesn't start until I begin handing out the gifts. So, of course, I take my time watching them squirm with excitement and burst with protest. We have a wonderful dinner that evening. No matter how old we get, it's the one ritual we simply won't give up. I love having all of them under my roof all at once. I feel complete. As the last of the family heads home I put on my coat and decide to go for a quick stroll in the evening light.

I walk down the street remember each event of my life as though it had only just occurred. Each moment leading to the next. I am so fortunate. I am so happy. I am so loved. I try to imagine it any other way and it simply doesn't work. I make my way around the corner and begin walking along all the shops, closed for the day, when I spot another person walking toward me.

She's wearing sandals and her toes are painted light blue. The sun catches her golden hair making it radiate. She's obviously searching for something.

As a tourist, I'm sure I can't help her find what she's looking for in a place as large as New York City. I pass her with a smile on my face considering the possibilities and then wander into a cafe alone for a cup of coffee.

If everything goes as planned it will go something like this:

Thursday(7/3) morning we leave for Syracuse by plane with one connecting flight.

Friday(7/4) morning we drive 6 hours to see my family in Vermont. We're staying at my brother's house with his wife and my two nieces.

Saturday(7/5) we have a big get together with whatever family my Grandma manages to round up.

Sunday(7/6) afternoon we drive 6 hours back to Syracuse and meet Jess' parents there.

Monday(7/7) morning Jess, Celeste, and Jess' parents drive 9 hours to where her parents live. I stay in Syracuse to work. No, I'm not happy about my poor little girl making her first very lengthy car trip and adventure into another country without me, but, this is the way it works best for Jess. Otherwise, she'd have 3 days less time to spend in Canada.

Friday(7/11) morning I make the 4 hour drive to Toronto by way of Rochester, Buffalo, and, generally, taking my time taking photos. I hang out with Kim for the evening and spend time having as much fun as is allowed by law in Toronto.

Saturday(7/12) morning I make the 5 hour drive to where Jess and Celeste are.

Then we spend all most two full weeks at a summer camp on the lake in the middle of bear infested woods using an outhouse and generally lazing around and, for those who like that sort of thing, enjoying doing nothing or, for those who don't, trying to find activities and adventures to occupy your time. Mobile phones barely work here and Internet access is unheard of so, connection to the outside world will be nearly non-existent.

Thursday(7/24) morning we make the 9 hour drive to upstate New York to see the other half of my family. We'll either be staying in a hotel or with my Grandma, depending on who else comes up for the weekend and how well my Grandma is feeling.

Friday(7/25) we have a big get together with whatever family my mom manages to round up.

Saturday(7/26) afternoon we make the 4.5 hour drive back to Syracuse.

Sunday(7/27) morning we get on a plane back to DFW with one connecting flight.

Monday(7/28) I go back to work because I need to save my vacation time for a trip back to Canada for Christmas.

Yeah. We're crazy. I know. I wanted to break it up into smaller trips and combine the time in New York and Vermont into one 4 day event in order to save on the travel time, but Jess gets more time in Canada this way, even if it makes the trips to see my family a little shorter and more hectic.

These are the words I have so far. If I missed any, I'm sorry. Most of them came through Twitter and Text Messages, so they get lost easily. Please give them to me again if I did.

If you'd like to add to this, please leave a comment.

Em: Quiet. Glistening.
Justin: Ursine. Renal.
Jess: Beautiful. Carefree.
Nic: Angular. Angry.
Mary: Pricey. Steamy.
Whitney: Irreverent. Felicity.
Mario: Buxom. Penguin.
Ian: Sensual. Being.
Morgan: Hi. Dark. Bounce. Here. Why. Smile.
Sara: Tasty. Messy.
Tony: Ominous. Evil.

I think Celeste, who turned 6 months old yesterday, agrees with me. In an act of pure defiance instead of slowly achieving each goal, one by one as the unseen manual dictates she should, she just decided to do them all with amazing proficiency within the course of 2 weeks.

In fact, here are the things she did in the past two weeks that she couldn't (or wouldn't?) do before.

Eat Solid Food
With Nic and Emily as our witnesses, and the video camera rolling, her first adventure into solid foods was a solid one. She didn't gum the food a bunch and then spit it out. She didn't decide she didn't like it and stop bothering to eat. She didn't flat out refuse to eat at all. She didn't play that fun spitting game she likes to play while eating her food. She just opened her mouth greedily and took spoonful after spoonful of Avocado until I was afraid to upset her stomach by giving her any more. She loved it.

The Fun Spitting Game
Constantly. It never ends. The more spit, the better. And don't laugh while she does it. If you open your mouth too wide, you'll end up with spit in there too.

Sitting Up
She sits on her own. Every now and then she'll topple if I'm not near by to steady her. Other than that, there's really no limit to how long she'll sit. She actually enjoys sitting.

Her First Words
Write it down in the record book: her first words were "Da Da". Well, actually it was more like "Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da". In fact, she pretty much doesn't stop saying "Da Da" now. I don't think it means what she thinks it means. We're working on that part.

Fake Cry
Yup, she's one of those. She knows if she cries she gets attention. So, when she wants attention but she's not actually upset she fakes it. Thankfully, she's not a very good faker, so the difference between the two is quite obvious. Her cry is a blood curdling, hair raising, heart pumping scream. Her fake cry sounds like a cat that is puking up and trying to meow at the exact same time.

Toes in her Mouth
She found her toes. She likes her toes. She's just not quite sure what they're good for yet. So, like everything else that doesn't have a clearly defined purpose (and even most of those that do) they go in her mouth.

At home, however, this is a different story. If I intend to be at work at 9am, I have to leave the house at 7:30am. And, while being slightly late to my job here isn't a big deal, coming home late is, because the traffic only gets worse and worse. Additionally, getting in to work at 9am is rarely an acceptable thing unless I was working from home before hand. So, really I'm aiming to get to work at 8:30am, which means I have to leave at 7am and the deadline that I set for myself is begging to be missed.

On top of all that, I do work from home. When I'm out on business I only have my laptop. Because of certain limitations, I can either do work stuff or my stuff, but not both at the same time. At home, however, my work is sitting right next to me, constantly begging for more of my attention.

In summary, 7am is a terrible deadline to set and only results in me not writing at all. So, I've got to work out something else.

While in Manhattan on business last week, I used the 50th Street C/E Subway stop every day to get to and from work. The downtown platform is split into two levels, E on top, and C on the bottom. At some point along the way, it matters which train you get on. But for a lot of people, either train would work just as well. Many other subway platforms have multiple trains stopping at the same platform (opposite sides or even the same track sometimes). But not the 50th Street C/E Downtown platform. E is on top, and C is a curving flight of stairs below it. In other words, it's a very poorly designed platform that leads to some annoyance and difficulty.

So what do New Yorkers do? They wait at the stairs. From there, they can see the E track. Someone waits down below at the C track. If the C train comes, he calls out and all the people waiting rush down the stairs to catch the train. If the E train comes, the people call down to the one waiting and then hold the door for him so he can make it up the stairs in time.

I was at this platform on three different occasions. The first time I was confused and not sure what to do. I saw people waiting at the top, so I waited with them and ran when they ran. I was shocked to see it happening again the next day and even more shocked to see it on the third day.

New Yorkers are awesome. And because of that, I always managed to catch the train even if arrived downstairs first.

I often get down on myself when I find I'm not doing everything I can with every second I have. I feel as though I'm wasteing something precious. I fail to realize that rest is needed in order to absorb those moments. Not rest, as in sleep; Rest, as in that moment of pause between two measures in the most beautiful song you've ever heard.

I can't take credit for this analogy. It is one of the many, many beautiful lessons our associate minister taught before she left for Canada. She, of course, said it much more beautifully than I ever could. I've simply adapted it to myself.