As their name may—or may not—suggest, Metallagher are a Metallica cover band fronted by an impersonator of ’80s comedian Gallagher. Watch them tear through a version of “Creeping Death,” complete with Gallagher’s most famous trademark. Bring your raincoat!

By Christopher Krovatin

Number of security pat-downs before entrance into venue: 14 frisks, a "Pain Waiver," and a full cavity search.

Fun fact of the night: Klokateers have cold fingers.

Favorite tour accessory: Brütal Legend playing stations in the lobby.

Seating location: First balcony.

Thanks, Revolver: No general admission? Cheapskates.

Price of a Budweiser at Hammerstein Ballroom: $7.00.

Favorite quote overhead while buying booze: “Seven bucks? Jesus, why don’t they just cut your dick off…”

First band, High on Fire, sound like: A rhino covered with spikes being ridden by a werewolf into a horde of Lovecraftian monsters.

Favorite Matt Pike stage move: Start playing badass riff, walk up to the edge of the stage, leer giddily, and nod at the audience.

Funny observation: When Matt Pike speaks, he sounds just as gruff and insane as he does when singing.

Surprising observation: There are very few hipsters here tonight. Overall, the crowd is a very metal crowd.

Not that that’s a bad thing: I just honestly expected a lot more of those Kid Robot skinny-jeans assholes loitering around tonight. You know, Mastodon, Williams Street records, they draw that crowd.

Subsequent revelation: I am old as fuck.

Next band Converge sounds like: Holy shit, a building being shot to death, I guess?

Whoa: These guys are really fucking angry!

Dream of the night: That I could ever be as spidery and terrifying as Jacob Bannon.

Best Jacob Bannon vocal part of the night: UNGH!

Final feelings post-Converge: I think my inner-ear balance is all fucked up.

Lucky number three: Mastodon, baby!

Oh, no: “Oblivion?” Well, at least they aren’t doing the whole of Crack the Skye like that last tour.

Oh wait: No, they’re…playing that whole album again. In its proggy entirety.

Also included: An awful black-and-white movie of the retarded story behind Crack the Skye.

In case you didn’t know: Crack the Skye is about a traumatized man who astral-projects but gets his karmic umbilical cord burnt off when he gets too close to the sun and then finds the spirits of mad Russian monk Rasputin who uses the help of three fury-like witches to send the man’s soul through a black hole and into his body so that Rasputin will not have to die. Or something.

Level of retardation: Y’know what? You can figure that out.

Astounding predicament: Going to a show with Mastodon co-headlining, and having Mastodon be the worst band on the bill. This is depressing.

Celebrity sighting: Dethklok guitarist Toki Wartooth wandering through the venue, screaming that he “won’t plays a fuckin’ notes until I finds my Tamogokokis virtuals pet.”

Favorite fan violence of the night: A fat hesher handing Wartooth his Tomagochi and getting shot in the kneecaps for touching him. Classic.

Finally: Dethklok.

Interesting Skwisgaar Skwigelf fact: He is taller than a tree.

Thoughts on new material: Holy shit, this sounds badass. Obviously, the boys have been brutalling down during the writing of Dethalbum II.

Most improved member: Vocalist Nathan Explosion sounds beyond enraged tonight, much more so than on the last Dethklok tour.

Awesome animation song of the night: “The Gears,” a song about the Klokateers, which featured moving backdrops of awesome, Soviet-esque pro-Dethklok propaganda.

Stunning musicianship of the night: Drummer Pickles slamming away at the skins.

Trick of the eyes: Through all the lights and the fake smoke, Pickles looks sort of like Gene Hoglan. Go figure.

Sacrifice to metal: During Dethklok’s closer, a falling light severed my arm, sending blood spraying across the boots of bassist William Murderface.

Boot-cleaner bill at my house the next day: $740.

Worth it?: Dethklok Dethklok DETHKLOK DETHKLOK.

As a proud owner of a vagina, and daughter of a gynecologist, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the human body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Email me at RevolvHer@gmail.com, and follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/revolvher666.

Hi, RevolvHER,
I’m Christine, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a while now. I’m willing to try new things when we have sex. I’ve been thinking about giving up my ass virginity. I want to know if it’s true that if I take it up the ass, will my asshole get bigger? Please answer this question. I have been to websites and I find nothing out. I really want to know if this is true. Thanks, I love your website.
One & Only
Christine

Hey Christine,
I’ve actually had a lot of people ask me this question. Well, one former co-worker at Revolver in particular. Not because he wanted to get it up the ass, I don’t think…but, because he, like many of us, wondered if constant pounding in the sacred and sensitive rectum, would eventually wreck it. I have no medical clue if this can happen. But, I suppose anything is possible. Like you, I have gone to the web in search for medical answers and have come up with some mixed messages. From what I can gather, it is not too smart to put large objects into the rectum, especially objects that are not attached to another human. I also have watched plenty of anal porn in search for any signs of anal wreckage post-ass sex. From what I witnessed, in those close-up scenes, the ass opens to accept the penis, fingers, fist or what have you, and then once it is removed it closes back up. But again, this is not scientific proof.

My advice to you is to swallow your pride and ask your gynecologist or family doctor if there is any chance of doing rectal harm if you engage in anal sex. I would also highly recommend that you peruse my earlier blogs for countless discourses on the subject of safe and fun anal sex. I have gone into very detailed descriptions on how to do it the right way the first time.

I would also like to take this time to beg and plead to any RevolvHER readers out there to please send me some questions that do not revolve around anal sex!! I am beginning to think that this is the only thing, besides not being able to get laid at all, that metalheads think about! I need some good questions, and I apologize for my blog hiatus. I am back and in full form and awaiting some good questions. revolvher@gmail.com
xxx
RevolvHER

In our never-ending quest to give you the best music available, we present the Revolver Bootleg series. Throughout each month, we’ll post cool, new, and often-exclusive tracks right here for you to hear before anyone else.

This installment is a special demo version of “Prey for Death” off Walking Into Nightmares (Century Media) by thrashers Warbringer, out now. They recorded this version in Germany last summer. It was originally written by the band's guitarist Adam Carroll and their former drummer Ryan Bates. The album version (which you can still listen to here) was recorded by Exodus guitarist Gary Holt in California. Frontman John Kevill fills us in on the song below.

REVOLVER What were the circumstances that you recorded the song in Germany? You ended up recording in California.
JOHN KEVILL We were recording a cover for a Century Media compilation, we did Unleashed's "Execute them All". We had to learn it in, like, two days time, and to convince some guys in the band who didn't really like the idea of learning and recording something so fast, we got the label to agree to allow us to also record a preproduction demo for the one new song we had at the time, so in that way we got everybody in the band to agree to do it.

How did the song change most from this preproduction demo to what made the CD?
We had been playing it for an extra six months, and we changed drummers, so Nic [Ritter, Warbringer's new drummer] added a lot of his own stuff, especially toward the end. I think an "Ugh" somewhere in there got taken out too.

Was this an easy song to write?
Yeah. This is one of the easiest songs we have all around. And when we did it for the album we had been playing it for almost a whole year so it was the most familiar to us.

At this point, what sort of feedback have you gotten on this song so far?
It's a good one live, some people think it's the catchiest song we have. And we often keep it in the set because the pace is much slower than most of our songs, so it helps break up the set some.

Warbringer: "Prey for Death (Preproduction Demo)"

Check out an interview with Landmine Marathon frontwoman Grace Perry, while she's on a break from the photo shoot that produced the cover of Revolver's "Hottest Chicks in Metal of All Time" issue, on stands now.

Classic-metal revivalists 3 Inches of Blood released their fourth album, Here Waits Thy Doom, in August on Century Media. Here, the band shaves to show off their tattoos for Tattoo magazine. To see frontman Cam Pipes and guitarist Shane Clark explain their new album track-by-track, click here then here. Look for an interview with Cam in Revolver's next issue, out December 22.


3 Inches of Blood show off their tats:

Classic-metal revivalists 3 Inches of Blood released their fourth album, Here Waits Thy Doom, in August on Century Media. Here, frontman Cam Pipes and guitarist Shane Clark pick up their track-by-track explanation of the album from yesterday. If you missed the first part, click here. Look for an interview with Cam in Revolver's next issue, out December 22.


3 Inches of Blood explain their new album, Here Waits Thy Doom, track-by-track:

Classic-metal revivalists 3 Inches of Blood released their fourth album, Here Waits Thy Doom, in August on Century Media. Here, frontman Cam Pipes and guitarist Shane Clark go track-by-track through the album explaining what each song means. Stay tuned for the second part tomorrow and an additional video of them showing off their tattoos for Tattoo magazine. Look for an interview with Cam in Revolver's next issue, out December 22.


3 Inches of Blood explain their new album, Here Waits Thy Doom, track-by-track:

Thrash icons Anthrax are reissuing their classic 1987 album, Among the Living, as a deluxe double CD on November 10, via Island/Megaforce/UMe. It contains bonus tracks like alternate versions of songs and B-sides and includes a DVD of the Oidivnikufesin: N.F.V. concert film. The album was produced by the band and legendary producer and engineer Eddie Kramer, who previously worked with Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, KISS, and others. The album would produce such classics as the title track, “Caught in a Mosh,” “I Am the Law,” “Efilnikufesin (N.F.L.),” and “Indians.” In anticipation of the release, Revolver caught up with Anthrax drummer and songwriter Charlie Benante to discuss the reissue and the band’s future.

REVOLVER Why did you choose Among the Living out of all the albums from your catalog to get the deluxe treatment?
CHARLIE BENANTE For a while now, I’ve been wanting to remaster our back catalog, and that was one of the records that really needed it. Let’s face it, it’s going back to 1987. It needed to have that low end the mids, the highs brought back into it to make it sound like it originally did. So we contacted Island/Universal, and then it got bumped up to a deluxe edition, which I was so happy about because I have some stuff in the archives that I would like to incorporate into this: some alternate versions and stuff like that. Just make it really, really you know cool.

What sorts of things did you find in your archives?
There was alternate leads, some alternate vocal takes, alternate takes of songs, and I was like, Wow, I don’t even remember doing this, but we did. And then I had some live stuff, too, that was kinda cool and some B-sides that never made it on to a full CD, so decided to make it as interesting as possible.

I have a lot of the old 12-inches, but even so it’s nice to hear the funny things like “Bud E. Luvbomb and Satan’s Lounge Band” on a CD.
You know what, it’s funny you mention that because I haven’t heard that, probably since maybe we recorded it and I put it on and I’m like, Oh, my God. It totally just brought back so many memories for me.
I was telling somebody just the other day, I’m such a fan of, like, the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and I collect whatever, like, alternate versions of songs or mixes. To me that is so interesting to find, if you can find, just these types of tings. So when I stumbled on like a different version of “Indians” with a different lead, I was like, Wow, I totally forgot about this. The one that made the record was the one that we’re all used to, so of course that’s the one we like, but the other one is really interesting, as well.

What’s your fondest memory of recording that album?

Wow, there was many, many things about that record that was pleasant and unpleasant. I remember wanting Eddie Kramer to do that record because of, me personally, my love of the Led Zeppelin stuff and the KISS stuff that he did. He just created this sound, and it’s exactly what we wanted. But the record that we wanted to make and the record that he wanted to make were two different records.

How so?

Well, the first thing that Eddie did, we were just, “No, no, no. We don’t want it to sound like that.” He was trying to do a ’90s version of a record, where it had a lot of polish on it, you know. We wanted the opposite. We wanted it as dry a s possible. There was a vibe that we were trying to create, and, you know, I guess he had a different take on the whole thing where he was adding a lot of reverb to things. We didn’t want that; we wanted that totally pulled back. And then we settled on what we thought was the right mix… But there were moments where it just kind of got a little weird because for me especially I was like, Well, this is Eddie Kramer. How could I tell Eddie Kramer, “No,” because I have so much respect for him? He’s a legend. And at the end of the day, it came out good. I have nothing bad to say.

Some funny stories about making that record, that’s a whole other issue. We went down to Compass Point [Studios] in the Bahamas to mix it, and this is where U2 would go and Iron Maiden were there a few years back. We rented this town home and we all slept there and right next door to where that was, was this huge house, and [“Addicted to Love” singer] Robert Palmer lived there. And we would see Robert Palmer at last three times a week coming out on his boat and waving, “Hi. Hey guys, how you doing? Blah, blah, blah.” And one funny story about the studio is they have these interns—like, Island people who worked at the studio. And our manager at the time, he had a rental car and he loaned it to one of the workers there to go get some stuff…and he never came back. [Laughs] Never came back. Took the car, took the cash that he gave him to get the stuff. Never came back. They eventually found the car and they found him, too. But that was pretty funny, and I remember him giving him, like, the list of stuff that he had to get, and he’s probably thinking to himself, Yeah, yeah, just keep writing the bullshit down. I’m not coming back, so….

What a jerk.

Yeah, totally. But it was interesting. It was definitely an interesting time for us, you know, because we were on the verge kind of breaking out and we had no idea.

Going back to the Bahamas, is that when you started wearing shorts? You wore big colorful shorts in the ’80s.

The shorts were already implemented into the whole look. It started to blow up a little bigger after; the seed was planted. That was just because of our love of the whole skateboarding culture and stuff. That’s the weird thing about it, and I guess we just kind of took advantage of it a bit, and people would come to the show dressed up like that, too, so it had this total fan-band relationship.

Katatonia vocalist Jonas Renkse and guitarist Anders Nyström visit a record store and discuss the band's influences from their doom-metal roots to their current "suicide rock" sound. Their eighth album, Night Is the New Day (Peaceville), comes out in the U.S. on November 10.