Did you hear about the two Indonesian domestic helpers who escaped death penalty after having killed their abusive employers in Singapore?

Have you heard about the Indonesian domestic helpers who escaped from her Saudi employers only to be raped by 46 Arab men? —–  (the men who raped her includes one police officer)

Are you familiar with the current news about Indonesian domestic worker Siti Hajar who was abused by her Malaysian employer and successfully escaped after 34 months of hell?

Many people have said our government is impotent in many areas, including protection of rights of our workers abroad. I, for one, think they are.

Those four cases are the ones we might have heard about but there are many we haven’t. There are even more of our domestic workers who are abused still and have to suffer in silence as we speak without the chance of escaping their doomed fates.

Google “Indonesian Maid Abused” or “Indonesian maid raped” and you will see other horrifying stories. There had been countless cases where Indonesian domestic workers were abused, raped and even sentenced to death in countries such as Malaysia, Singapore, Saudi Arabia etc. Most cases and victims remain nameless and faceless, though, until today.

What has changed?

Well, one thing positive the whole Manohara abuse brouhaha has brought the little people in Indonesia is enhanced public awareness of Indonesian Domestic Helper abuse. Finally the Indonesian officials has finally stated that they will take a tougher stance over worker abuse claims in Malaysia, because honestly, I think what they claim to have done so far in terms of protecting Indonesian workers overseas is not enough, it doesn’t even cover the tip of the iceberg.

According to this article, many other cases go unnoticed and there are still rampant abuse in Malaysia on Indonesian domestic workers, with Malaysians being the most complained about for being terrible employers compared with countries like Taiwan, Hong Kong or Singapore. (I really do not understand what Malaysians have against us Indonesians)

I have been writing about domestic helpers and how people treat them since a long time. Malaysians aren’t the only ones abusing domestic workers (Indonesian or otherwise). I know Indonesian people who abuse their Indonesian maids as well, I know one here in Brussels! It’s really despicable how a human being can treat another human being like that. Nobody should even treat animals like that!

I really hope that our government will do something about this and protect our workers abroad (and in the country) thoroughly. I also hope the government will make a USEFUL LAW for them, managing their minimum wage and working conditions because let’s face it, most maids in Indonesia receive very low salary, do not get weekends off, have to work 24 hours a day and is more like a slave than a paid employee.

But the ones overseas seem to suffer the worst fate because not only do they get abused the ones who manage to come back to Indonesia more often than not get robbed at the airport or on the way back to their respective villages (in many cases the robbers are officials at the airport - some say customs officials and military, I really don’t know, I’m just repeating hearsay).

My heart goes out to them, these  people we call Pahlawan Devisa (national income heroes) and I hope they will receive a better fate from now on.

- In loving memory of Ganie, our ex maid in Jakarta who is thought to have been killed by some people in Irian Jaya.

I have also written about her here, here and here.

Like I said in my first post about her, I have mad love for innocent and abused victims, especially when they are as pretty as Miss Manohara Odelia Pinot, Indonesian cum socialite. But ONLY if they are really abused and not pathological liars who are making sensational accusations in order to jump start their careers to fame and fortune.

The thing is, I don’t know what really happened with Manohara during her marriage with the Dark Prince of Kelantan, but what I do know is, it’s been more than a week after her so-called escape, and she still hasn’t gone to the doctor to substantiate her case, which she needs to do for when she goes to court.

My friends in Indonesia tell me that she and her mother has appeared in numerous TV shows and conducted interviews with medias about the alleged abuse, all smiles and Birkin bags. Friends also says she might be milking this case for fame and popularity.

Nowhere did it say that they have solid proof backing their accusations.

Yesterday, some medias reported that Manohara (along with dearest  mommy and the Laskar Merah Putih/Red and White Army) protested in front of the Malaysian Embassy in Jakarta. Unfortunately the protest was not about her and her husband - although this would be more interesting albeit slightly psychotic on her part - but for the Ambalat feud between Indonesia and Malaysia.

Of course the journalists who went there were fixated on Manohara, and nobody really paid attention to what the real issue of the protest was about, everybody just wanted to know about Manohara and her story (this pissed the Red and White Army off, as written in several newspapers).

Still no medical tests/results to substantiate the allegations.

Again, in case you don’t know my stance in this case, I will say that I don’t know what’s really happened so I can’t really say anything about whether or not their accusations are legit. But the thing is, like so many other people, I am starting to wonder whether Manohara is a real victim or just a girl who cried wolf.

I’d have more respect for them if they protested the way our main export (read: domestic helpers) are treated by their employers overseas. They often get abused and in many cases raped and sentenced to death in a(n unfair) trial that tries their cases without sufficient evidence.

Mano’s claims to wanting to be an activist for our domestic helpers seem to be hot air.

I think I’m going to sit here with my bucket of popcorn and large coke and watch as the story unravels. I am sure it will within the next few month.

I think the ending of this story will be: a. either she was truthful all along (which seems to be a bit doubtful now in my opinion); b. she has been lying right from the start (which will not be a surprise for many people), or;  c. she has been partially truthful but because of the many bullshits flying around when it comes to this particular case, the final bullshit will hit the fan and be splattered all over her and her mother’s abusive face (make sure you click that link, it’s a little bit of juicy gossip about her mother courtesy of one of my readers.)

Now who wants to come and eat popcorn with me?

I love writing in Bahasa Indonesia as it is a simple yet very effective language to convey messages but I also love writing in English because I believe practice makes perfect and since I still make a lot of grammatical and spelling mistakes when writing in English, this is the only way for me to improve my English writing skills.

The only reason I speak/write in English is because our family lived in New Zealand when I was very young and I had to speak it in school otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to speak nor write in English at all (not that I speak or write it fluently). This is why I have always admired Indonesians who’ve learned and managed to master a foreign language without even stepping foot on another country.

It’s very important that Indonesians speak English nowadays because let’s face it, English is the lingua franca of the 21st century and the world. So unless we hold the key to sophisticated technology like Japan - which we do not - we need to be able to compete in other areas, and one of the things we need to do is to be able to communicate in English (and if possible, other foreign languages).

What we have in abundance is human resource or manpower. But it’s very hard to ‘export’ Indonesian workers overseas as we are not competitive enough compared to other South East Asian nations. We lack language and practical skills. For example, even in the domestic helper ‘market’ Filipinos are favored over Indonesians because they seem more educated i.e. speak English.

However, although the majority of the Indonesian people have poor education and foreign language skills (there are people in some parts of Indonesia - usually in remote areas - who have trouble speaking the Bahasa Indonesia and  only speak their local dialect), the people in the Big Durian and other big cities seem to embrace English more and more these days with some going as far as mixing up the two languages when speaking (yes Chincha Lawra, I’m talking to you).

I find Indonesians who think Bahasa Indonesia is pointless/uncool/unimportant/kampungan/passée disturbing. For example, I have met Indonesian people who speak perfect Indonesian but refuse to speak it in public venues. I know people who’ve been living overseas for several years and suddenly developed partial amnesia when it comes to Bahasa Indonesia (with some developing a severe accent disorder when they do speak Bahasa Indonesia - you know who you are).

I have met/talked to Indonesians who insist on speaking English to me. In cases like this I usually reply in Indonesian to try to get them to realise that constantly speaking English to a fellow Indonesian is not impressive, it’s just snobbish and silly. Of course when there are other people around who do not understand Indonesian, it’s only natural that we speak the lingua franca.

But so far nothing has disturbed me more than finding out that the organisers of the Miss Indonesia pageant failed to realise that Miss Indonesia should be (at least partly) Indonesian who speaks fluent Indonesian, seeing as the so-called Miss Indonesia will be a representative of our country abroad (in pageants).  It so happens that the newly crowned Miss Indonesia (who is half American and sister of  sinetron star Steve Emmanuel aka Yusuf Iman) doesn’t speak Indonesian. Although, to be fair, she did say her first plan after being crowned is to learn Indonesian.

(For the the blow by blow Miss Indonesia pageant account plus exciting and orgasmic commentary click HERE)

I heard that the new Miss Indonesia is very intelligent and I am happy we have an intelligent winner who speaks very fluent English, but I am sure there are many intelligent young Indonesian ladies out there who speak English AND Indonesian (and a couple other languages as well). I think this acute lack of self confidence among our people have reached a new level and I would really like to start a new movement called ‘Let’s be multi-lingual and not semi-lingual’.

We should be able to speak Indonesian, and not just any but correct Indonesian (no more of the “masih laper nih secara gue udah makan” crap, that’s not proper nor is it correct. ‘Secara‘ is the synonym of ‘dengan’ or in some context ’sekaligus‘) and if we do learn a foreign language, we must learn and use it correctly (and properly).

So who is with me on this?

]]> http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?feed=rss2&p=1808 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1790 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1790#comments Sat, 06 Jun 2009 23:17:23 +0000 rimafauzi http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1790 I like Amanda Bynes, kinda. I liked that movie of hers where she becomes a boy and confused a straight boy and made him gay, or something like that.

From what I gather, she has quite a successful movie career and has loads of money, and with a lot of money one can look very beautiful with a variety. Yet I’m confused, why does she look the same everytime the paparazzi takes a picture of her?

She looks a little drag queen-y here (above) , doesn’t she?

And, *gasps* She even looks the same on a cover of a magazine!!

She’s got to fire her stylist, or if she doesn’t have any, hire one. I mean, she is lovely and all, nice cleavage and great legs! But doing the plunging neckline-miniskirt-long blond hair combo e-v-e-r-y-s-i-n-g-l-e-t-i-m-e is a bit cliche, no?

Kata teman saya itu, dua minggu pertama memang mereka diberi tempat tinggal dan diberi makan. Tapi setelah itu mereka digiring ke pertanian/lahan karet dan dijadikan buruh kasar dengan bayaran yang amat sangat sedikit, tidak boleh memiliki anak lebih dari satu, dan anaknya pun tidak boleh sekolah, tidak boleh pintar.

Saya pernah mengatakan disini (dalam bahasa Inggris) bahwa cara paling mudah untuk berkuasa dan mengatur rakyat  adalah dengan senantiasa membiarkan mereka bodoh dan takut. Biasanya dengan dibungkam, dihalangi dari memperbaiki diri lewat pendidikan (juga dengan membuat pendidikan mahal sekali agar tidak dapat dinikmati oleh mayoritas rakyat yang biasanya miskin), diberi doktrin -isme atau agama, dan lain sebagainya.

Contoh terbaru pembodohan yang dilakukan terhadap masyarakat adalah Syarat Pranikah bebas HIV/AIDS di Bengkulu. Bukannya mendidik rakyat bahwa penyakit HIV/AIDS itu adalah penyakit yang sudah dapat ditangani walaupun belum dapat disembuhkan, bahwa penyakit tersebut hanya dapat menular melalui hubungan sex dan jarum suntik/transfusi darah atau membantu menghilangkan stigma negatif bagi para penderita HIV/AIDS yang dilakukan justru membuat masyarakat takut dan membiarkan stigma buruk terus melekat kepada penderita HIV/AIDS.

Apakah mereka yang sakit tidak berhak mendapatkan kebahagiaan? Apakah perkawinan dan kebahagiaan hanya milik kaum tertentu?

Contoh pembungkaman rakyat yang dilakukan oleh mereka yang dulu memuja kapitalisme namun berkedok demokrasi Pancasila adalah kasus yang sekarang tengah mencuat - tentunya selain kasus rakyat jelita Manohara Pinot - adalah kasus rakyat jelata macam saya dan rekan-rekan yang sedang membaca tulisan ini, yaitu kasus Prita Mulyasari.

Tidak jarang orang Indonesia mengemukakan kebenciannya kepada negara Kapitalis Liberal macam Amerika atau Inggris dan menganggap bahwa kapitalisme, liberalisme dan istilah yang akhir-akhir ini mendadak populer yaitu neo-liberalisme, adalah bagai kata keji dan kotor. Namun kebencian seperti itu tidak ubahnya dengan menunjukkan satu jari kepada mereka dan menunjukkan 4 jari kepada diri sendiri.

Mengapa begitu? Karena sekarang Indonesia juga sudah menjadi negara Kapitalis dengan pemerintah yang oportunis, yang dalam beberapa aspek bahkan lebih parah dibanding Amerika ataupun Inggris karena paling tidak di sana  hak azasi manusia, hak tenaga kerja, hak minoritas dan hak konsumen jauh lebih terlindungi dan bukan terinjak-injak seperti yang terjadi saat ini di Indonesia, dimana yang memiliki lebih banyak kuasa, jumlah dan/atau uanglah yang akan menang.

Kembali ke kasus Prita, begitu malangnya nasib Prita yang telah menjadi korban malpraktek RS Omni Tangerang akhirnya ibarat orang yang sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga. Karena beliau diabaikan ketika meminta pertanggung-jawaban misdiagnosa dan malpraktek dari RS Omni dan beberapa dokternya maka curhatlah Prita kepada temannya via e-mail (seperti yang sering terjadi selama ini dimana konsumen yang terugikan menulis surat di pelbagai milis internet maupun media) yang oleh temannya itu diserbarkan ke suatu milis dan seperti yang telah kita duga, akhirnya menyebar ke segala penjuru milis maupun email pribadi di Indonesia.

Yang aneh, bukannya mendapat tanggapan yang baik atau permintaan maaf dari RS Omni, yang didapatkan  Prita sebagai pihak yang dirugikan adalah tuntutan balik dari RS Omni yang merupakan pihak yang telah merugikan beliau secara fisik maupun mental. RS Omni dengan bantuan UU ITE telah berhasil menjebloskan Prita ke dalam penjara.

Akhrinya kasus ini terdengar oleh banyak pihak, terutama oleh mereka yang memiliki akses internet. Dan tentunya para blogger Indonesia dan mereka yang aktif dalam berbagai forum maupun milis pun tidak tinggal diam, banyak yang menggelar protes dunia maya terhadap topik du jour ini dan juga menimbulkan amarah banyak orang yang merasa bahwa hal ini sangatlah tidak adil dan bahwa UU ITE tersebut bukan saja memaksa pembungkaman banyak orang, tetapi juga dapat mencelakakan banyak orang tak bersalah (dan tak berduit).

Namun walaupun pemakai internet di Indonesia mencapai 25 juta orang atau sekitar 10.5% dari penduduk Indonesia, lagi-lagi para blogger (yang saya yakin adalah sebagian kecil saja dari 25 juta orang tersebut) yang mendapat sentilan dan yang nama baiknya dicemarkan. Sering kali media ataupun tokoh masyarakat atau oknum pemerintahan (yang tidak begitu mengerti) menuding kami sebagai kaum anarkis  atau perusuh yang tidak mengerti apa yang kita perbuat atau yang kita katakan seperti yg pernah dikemukakan oleh The Jakarta Post di penghujung artikelnya mengenai Manohara:

The Manohara saga has become the latest issue to strain the already tense Indonesia-Malaysia relations, along with other issues ranging from territorial violations and migrant worker abuse, to disputes over cultural heritage. Bloggers from both countries, mostly young and emotional, have often served to escalate the tensions.

Terus terang saya sangat tidak setuju dengan anggapan media maupun orang-orang terhadap kami, para blogger. Saya kira para blogger Indonesia tidak melakukan kesalahan apapun, terutama bagi kasus Manohara maupun Prita, dan peran kami saat ini agak mirip dengan misalnya, peran para mahasiswa Indonesia angkatan ‘66 (yang sekarang berkelakuan tidak jauh beda dengan tokoh-tokoh yang mereka protes pada jaman itu) maupun para mahasiswa pencetus reformasi di tahun ‘97. Apabila penggunaan internet sudah meluas pada tahun ‘97 (atau apabila internet sudah diciptakan sebelum tahun ‘66) saya rasa para mahasiswa tersebut  juga akan lebih memilih perjuangan dan demonstrasi underground memakai internet dan tulisan daripada di jalanan yang beresiko lebih tinggi dan berdampak kurang luas.

Khusus untuk kasus Prita, yang beliau lakukan hanya bercerita mengenai pengalaman buruknya via email dan mengirimkannya kepada temannya. Karena satu atau lain hal, surat tersebut akhirnya tersebar di suatu milis dan  para pengguna internet Indonesia dan anggota milis dimana suratnya beredar itulah yang menyebar luaskan surat tersebut. Peran para blogger Indonesia sebagai penulis media alternatif adalah hanya menyoroti berita mengenai penahanan Prita sebagai akibat tersebar luasnya surat beliau dan juga memberi dukungan terhadapnya karena hal yang menimpa beliau dipandang tidak adil dan tidak seharusnya terjadi.

Seperti yang juga sudah diduga oleh banyak pihak (termasuk saya) kasus ini akhirnya berubah menjadi sirkus media dan ditunggangi oleh beberapa capres karena memang hal seperti ini merupakan suatu  alat ampuh untuk kampanye mereka dan meraih popularitas lebih banyak lagi di kalangan khalayak awam dan ramai dan timing-nya pun sangat tepat, bagaikan jackpot bagi capres yang memperoleh keuntungan dari publisitas kasus ini.

Namun kali ini saya merasa bahwa penggunaan kasus ini sebagai alat pendongkrak popularitas para kandidat presiden bukanlah suatu masalah besar. Bagi saya yang penting adalah Prita dapat keluar dari penjara (untuk sementara ini) dan walaupun statusnya sekarang adalah tahanan kota tetapi paling tidak anak-anaknya dapat kembali tidur di dekapannya. Yang dapat Prita sekeluarga lakukan adalah berharap agar keputusan dari sidang berikut, dimana hasilnya belum dapat diprediksi terutama karena banyaknya isu (yang belum diketahui kebenarannya) mengenai RS Omni yang dikatakan telah menyuap polisi, jaksa hingga hakim untuk memberi Prita pelajaran atas perbuatannya yang telah mencemarkan “nama baik” Rumah Sakit tersebut, akan menguntungkan pihak yang benar yang menurut hemat saya adalah Prita.

Pernyataan Ibu Menteri Kesehatan mengenai kasus ini juga menurut saya adalah sangat menarik.  Anda dapat simak beritanya sebagai berikut (yang huruf miring adalah pendapat saya):

Lampung Selatan - Menteri Kesehatan (Menkes) Siti Fadilah Supari mengaku pihaknya tidak ada urusan dengan kasus Prita Mulyasari dengan RS Omni International. Sebab, RS Omni merupakan RS swasta, sehingga dia tidak bisa menjewernya.

“RS Omni itu swasta, jadi tidak ada sangkut pautnya dengan saya. Saya tidak bisa menjewer, saya tidak tahu,” kata Siti saat ditanya pers mengenai kasus Prita Mulyasari ketika meresmikan Posko Kesehatan Pesantren Nurul Huda, Jalan Pemanggilan, Kecamatan Natar, Lampung Selatan, Kamis (04/06/2009).

Apakah ijin bagi Rumah Sakit swasta dikeluarkan oleh Departemen lain selain Departemen Kesehatan? Apakah Departemen dan Menteri Kesehatan tidak memiliki kewenangan untuk menegur Rumah Sakit dan Pelayan Kesehatan (Dokter dan suster) yang telah merugikan, mencelakakan, membahayakan pasien serta melakukan malpraktek dan mencoba menutup-nutupinya? Siapakan yang berwenang kalau begitu?

Siti mengatakan kasus itu bukan kasus pelayanan, melainkan kasus pencemaran nama baik. “Saya tidak tahu. Kasus itu bukan kasus pelayanan kesehatan. Itu kasus pencemaran nama baik. Kalau ada pelayanan kesehatan tidak baik, ada jalannya, bukan dilemparkan ke blogger,” kata Siti saat ditanya soal kelanjutan kasus tersebut.

Siti juga menyarankan kalau ada persoalan kasus pelayanan kesehatan, harus disampaikan pada jalurnya bukan ke tempat yang tidak semestinya. “Menurut saya kalau ada keluhan terhadap pelayanan kesehatan, jangan melapor ke tempat yang tidak semestinya. Kalau melapor ya ke kepala dinas kesehatan. Gunakan jalur-jalur yang benar,” pinta dia.

Mengapa beliau mengatakan itu merupakan kasus pencemaran nama baik dan bukan kasus pelayanan kesehatan? Bukankan awal dari kasus ini adalah pihak RS Omni yang tidak memberikan pelayanan kesehatan baik dan benar sehingga memperburuk keadaan kesehatan Prita? Dan mengapa Ibu Menteri seperti kurang mengeri bahwa Prita telah melaporkan ke jalur semestinya namun tidak ditanggapi, dan bukanlah dilemparkan ke para blogger? Memangnya siapa dan apa kekuasaan kami para blogger jelata sampai orang dapat melemparkan keluhan kepada kami dan dapat mendapat penyelesaian masalah?

Yang juga membuat saya sampai agak naik darah adalah artikel berikut, dimana Anggota Komisi III DPR mendorong Prita untuk melakukan tuntutan balik ke pihak kepolisian karena pihak kepolisian telah melakukan kesalahan besar dengan menggunakan UU ITE sementara KUHP secara tegas menyebutkan tidak ada kejahatan yang dilakukan dengan tidak adanya UU yang mengatur mengenai tindakan itu, dan kenyataannya adalah UU ITE belum sempurna dan baru akan diterapkan mulai tahun 2010 setelah peraturan pendukungnya selesai dibuat.

Setelah membaca artikel ini saya makin bingung, mengapa makin lama makin terlihat bahwa pihak yang lemah, terugikan dan tidak memiliki uang adalah pihak yang seakan darahnya dihalalkan di bumi ibu pertiwi? Mengapa mereka yang bersumpah untuk menjunjung tinggi keadilan dan menegakkan hukum justru lebih sering berpihak kepada pihak yang salah? Apakah legenda David dan Goliath di masa modern ini akan berakhir dengan tiap kali Goliath yang jahat yang menang?

Contoh lain kapitalisnya Indonesia dan hukum yang melindungi kaum ‘the have’ selain kasus Prita Mulyasari adalah kasus konsumen real estate yang membeli properti dan dirugikan oleh developernya lantas menulis surat pembaca di suratkabar lalu dituntut atas tuduhan pencemaran nama baik oleh developer real estate tersebut dan terkena vonis satu tahun penjara. Ini adalah suatu hal yang cukup lucu apalagi mengingat bahwa tradisi keluhan konsumen lewat “surat pembaca” di berbagai suratkabar nasional sudah ada sejak dulu, bahkan di jaman Orde Baru sekalipun.

Banyak dari kita yang mungkin belum sadar, tapi yang dulu kita benci dari budaya dunia barat justru sekarang sudah  tumbuh dan mengakar kuat di dalam budaya masyarakat Indonesia, sementara di dunia barat sendiri hal-hal tersebut perlahan lahan runtuh didobrak oleh manusianya yang makin lama makin sadar atas keadilan dan rasa kemanusiaan yang kuat.

Apakah akan tetap kita biarkan hal-hal seperti ini terjadi? Apakah kita akan tinggal diam sementara hak kita perlahan lahan digerogoti hingga nanti tidak tersisa lagi? Apakah kita akan pasrah ketika terus dibungkam, ditakut-takuti dan dibuat bodoh? Apakah kita akan terus berpura-pura buta dan tuli sementara negara kita dihancurkan oleh penguasa yang zalim?

Mungkin sudah saatnya kita semua bangkit kembali, bukan dengan otot, pedang dan emosi, tetapi dengan otak, kerjasama dan logika untuk mencapai suatu solusi. Atau mungkin ini hanyalah impian siang bolong saya yang tak berarti? Entahlah. Tapi apabila ini hanyalah suatu impian, rasanya saya enggan untuk bangun kembali.

]]> http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?feed=rss2&p=1765 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1747 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1747#comments Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:33:58 +0000 rimafauzi http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1747 Memang beda jaman dulu pas pacaran dan jaman sekarang pas udah kawin. Dulu pas masih pacaran semuanya berasa indah dan romantis. Dan gue yakin banget bukan cuma gue yang ngalamin hal kayak gini.

Hari ini gue bakal berbaik hati dan mengkhianati teman-teman yang udah kawin.

Maksud kak Rima apa sih????

Begini loh dik… kalo orang orang bule bilang itu kan Misery loves company kalo orang indonesia sih bilangnya “gue sengsara lo mesti sengsara juga”. Nah, biasanya orang kalo udah kawin itu jarang bilang yang jelek-jeleknya soal perkawinan. Kalo cerita yang bagussssss terus.. alhasil, para singlefighter alias jomblo (atau utk sebagian mungkin istilah tidak laku atau belum laku lebih tepat diterapkan, terserah mau yang mana, harga cocok ya dibungkus dan bawalah pulang) terpana melihat kami kami para manusia yang sudah menikah dan berbondong-bondong ingin juga menemukan pasangannya dan juga ikutan menikah.

Nah gue hari ini pengen berbaik hati dan for one time only akan berbagi pengalaman gue dulu dan sekarang, masa pacaran dan masa udah kawin. Dari contoh-contoh percakapan berikut, kalian bisa melihat bedanya masa pacaran dan masa sudah kawin dan bisa mendapatkan bayangan yang jelas (dan tidak dibumbuin vetsin atau gula) atas bagaimana keadaan (lazimnya) pasangan yang sudah kawin kurang lebih 5-6 tahun (biasanya makin lama makin rusuh).  Yang gue tau sih, pasangan udah kawin yang sudah memiliki anak percakapannya lebih rusuh lagi cenderung anarkis. Berhubung ini berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi gue yang gak punya anak (dan memang gak pengen) jadi ya be happy lah dapet masukan ini..

Di tempat tidur

Pacar: Yang, gak apa apa kan kamu tidurnya gini, tempat tidurnya kecil banget utk kita berdua..

Gue: Gak papa lah, aku malah seneng begini, kan mesra…

Pacar: I love you…

vs.

Udah ganti tempat tidur yg double bed

Suami: Aduh.. capek banget.. (sambil menghempaskan badan ke tempat tidur dan meluk gue)

Gue: Aaaaaaaaaarrghhh ngapain sih lo meluk2? Gerah tauu..sanaan doongg!! Duhhh itu lo ngelewatin batas (sambil nunjuk garis di tengah kasur) dasar egois!!!!!!!!

Suami: Duh dasar monyett.. istri apa sih lo? dipeluk-peluk gak mau??

Di tempat tidur Part 2

Pacar: (sambil bemesraan) Yang.. ‘ehem ehem’ yuk?

Gue: (semangat ‘45) Ayuuukkkk!!!

vs.

Suami: (sambil pegang2 tapi rada males) Yang, dah lama nih..

Gue: Aduuuhh.. ganggu aja seeeeeeeeehh? Ya udah buruan, tapi kalo udah kelar lo jangan ganggu lagi ya? Gue mau nulis post neh buat blog gue.. (sembari males-malesan ambil ancang-ancang) ayo buruan!

Pulang menemukan gue sakit/kecelakaan

Pacar: Aduuuhhh honey, kok bisa sih begitu? Ya ampunn.. pasti sakit banget, mau ke dokter yang? Apa mau aku pijitin/bandage/cariin obat?

Gue: Iya honey… (sambil sok manja) Tatitttt…..!

vs.

Suami: Yaa ampuuuuuuuuunnnn… lo kok bego banget sih kerja sampe bisa kaya gitu cerobohnya??? Makanya kalo kerja itu yg bener matanya jangan meleng!

Gue: (bersungut-sungut) Dasar suami durhaka, gue udah sakit gini malah dimarahin..

Melihat bekas luka lengan gue yang kesiram minyak panas pas goreng

(silahkan menikmati foto sebagian lengan gue yg malang)

Pacar: Ya ampun yang.. makanya kamu lain kali hati hati dong.. kesian banget sih tangan kamu jadi gitu, semoga gak ada bekasnya nanti kalo udah sembuh..

Gue: Iya nih yang.. sedih deh aku.. (sambil pasang muka sedih tapi manja)

vs.

Suami: Lo tuh kaya mobil aja sih? Tiap tahun value-nya makin turun.. apalagi sekarang, itu tangan udah kaya orang korengan. Yah, udah gak ada harganya lagi kali, rugi nih bandar!

Gue: Duh jangan bawel deh, lo udah botak,  jelek, dari awal pacaran aja gue masih mau kawin ma elo.. bersyukur lo ma nasib!! Lo kawin ma gue sih mukjizat, nah gue? Kawin ma elo musibah tau!

Akhir hidup

Gue: Yang, aku pengennya nanti kalo udah tua, aku mati duluan supaya aku tidak mengalami hidup tanpa kamu

Pacar: Ah enggak, aku yang mati duluan, aku pasti enggak bisa hidup tanpa kamu!

Gue: Ya udah, kalo gitu kita janjian akan mati sama sama ya sayang? (sambil pelukan mesra)

vs.

Gue dan suami (bertanya-tanya dalam hati): Duh, nyebelin banget sih ni anak, kapan dia mati ya??

dan yang terakhir,

Mengungkapkan Rasa Cinta

Pacar: I love you, honey

Gue: I love you more!

Pacar: Enggak, pokoknya aku sayanggg banget sama kamu!

vs.

Suami: (Biasanya pas lagi melankolis mengingat memory, atau setelah diberi ‘jatah’ lebih dari yang biasa) I love you, honey

Gue: variasi dari (tergantung mood) “Thank you” atau “I love me too” atau “I know”

bisa juga

Gue: (lagi melankolis atau memerlukan boosting rasa percaya diri) Yang, lo masih cinta gak sih ama gue?

Suami: Cinta, cinta.. apa itu cinta? Emang cinta bisa masuk belanga?? Hari gini cinta ke laut aja.. duiitt.. nah itu yg penting..!

Ok, gue rasa hari ini gue udah cukup menghancurkan impian romantis perkawinan beberapa lusin orang sampe berkeping-keping.. lain kali gue akan sambung, tapi khusus edisi hari ini gue tutup dulu. Forum tanya jawab boleh dilakukan di ruang comment.

]]> http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?feed=rss2&p=1747 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1757 http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1757#comments Tue, 02 Jun 2009 09:48:26 +0000 rimafauzi http://rimafauzi.com/blogs/?p=1757 I would like to post this banner in solidarity to other bloggers and also because I think it’s highly unfair that this woman is imprisoned without a justifiable cause.

The full story of what happened to her (in Indonesian) can be found here.

I can’t really say anything anymore about this nor can I rant and bitch about it because this is just the sort of thing that keeps happening in my country. The rich gets richer and gets all perks of life, the poor (or commoners) gets tragedy, heartache and fucked right up their butts and then some more.

It’s just sad that the government cares less and less about the majority of its’ people and just takes care of the interests of those who matter to them, those with money and power. It’s  a shitty life down there, and I feel sorry for all those hundreds of millions of people but boy oh boy, am I glad I’m not there anymore..

Manohara sudah kembali ke pelukan ibundanya dan membeberkan peristiwa getir yang dialaminya selama menjadi istri Tengku Muhammad Fakhry. Namun, pengakuan Manohara ini diragukan kebenarannya oleh Ratna Sarumpaet (Akvitis Hak Asasi Manusia).

“Jangan tertipu air mata yang berderai. Kita harus membuka mata lebar-lebar atas setiap permasalahan. Kalau memang benar Manohara pernah mengalami penyiksaan selama menjadi istri Raja Kelantan itu, mestinya dia kering dan bukannya segar bugar seperti itu,” kata aktivis perempuan itu kepada wartawan Surya, Minggu (31/5).

Wanita kelahiran Tarutung, Sumatera Utara, 16 Juni 1949, ini mengaku nyaris tak bisa menahan emosi ketika menyaksikan sosok Manohara di televisi. “Saya tadi kontan marah begitu melihat dia dalam keadaan sehat walafiat. Seseorang yang katanya pernah disundut rokok dan disilet mestinya badannya kurus kering, bukan gemuk gitu!” ujarnya.

(This Sarumpaet article can also be found here, in Indonesian)

This Ratna Sarumpaet is unbelieavable! There are people who eat and eat and eat when they are under pressure and under a great deal of stress! Plus, she is in NO POSITION to say anything about this case because:

a. She wasn’t there when this whole alleged abuse happened, therefore she doesn’t know what is right or what is wrong;

b. As a woman AND a Human Rights Activist, she should at least give an allegedly abused girl the benefit of a doubt.

c. The only people who knows what really happened are Manohara, and the Kelantan Royal Family;

d. As a human rights activist I am sure she has had many experiences with cases in which things are not necessarily as it seems to be;

e. She is a mother and as a mother, she should put herself in Daisy’s (Mano’s mom) shoes, especially when;

f. She wasn’t there when this whole alleged abuse happened, therefore she doesn’t know what is right or what is wrong!!!

If this whole abuse thing is true, I dont think the Kelantan Royal Family is stupid enough to let her lose weight and become all skin and bones seeing as they need pictures to show people that Mano is indeed in good health (as posted by many Malaysian blogs and newspapers), appears to be all fine and dandy and smiling all the time.

Mano did say in the phone interview below (It’s in Indonesian, sorry) that she was forced to smile whenever they went out and that if there were pictures where she was not smiling, once back in the Royal Palace she gets beaten.

Seriously, this Ratna person should just shut her mouth and mind her own business. And to think she was going to run (or is she still?) for President… Sheeshhh!!!

Still in relation to this case, finally someone speaks out about the incompetence of Indonesian Embassies abroad.

Yusron Ihza Mahendra, a member of the Indonesian Representative said,  “We need to improve our embassies’ performance to protect Indonesian citizens abroad. Manohara is only one case. If we look at the past, we see the embassies were slow to protect citizens,” House of Representatives’ Commission I (Komisi I DPR) member Yusron Ihza Mahendra told The Jakarta Post on Monday.

He was referring to a number of cases in which Indonesians, particularly migrant workers, were reportedly physically abused.

Yeah right. After this high profile case (that involved the US Embassy and reportedly the FBI as well) floated up to the top of the news pile (and not after hundreds if not thousands of Indonesian workers abroad being abused, raped - mostly domestic helpers in Malaysia, Singapore and Arab countries - and tried as criminals  where many of them were found guilty and faced death sentence without sufficient evidence or trial) someone from the Komisi I DPR FINALLY SAYS SOMETHING.

Very smart move, nearing the presidential election too! I bet this will be an additional point in the platform of the Presidential candidate from whichever party Pak Yusron belongs to.

Some other links about this, in English:

- Mano went with mother under consent (says the Kelantan Royal Family)

- Mano back home after dramatic escape

- Mano to file complaint against abusive husband

Yes, a girl.

He claims he’s in love (you can literally see that love is in the air in this picture).

She is an older car, but JB strongly thinks that cougars are experienced and very confident about themselves therefore HOT. Mr. Husband thinks JB doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about but as an old(er) woman I think he is sweet to say that.

Do you think they make a great couple or what???

Manohara Odelia Pinot claimed that all the allegations against her husband and his family made by her mother (that they have commited mental, physical and sexual abuse against her - in one case her chest was slashed with blades by her husband) were in fact true and that she was really kidnapped, kept in the sultanate against her will, denied interaction with outsiders (of the Kelantan Sultanate), denied interaction of any kind with her mother and family, and at one point was almost given drugs so that she could not escape from them. Exciting stuff, kinda overshadows the new Star Trek movie, methinks.

The story according to Detik News (unfortunately all the stories are in Indonesian) is that the Sultan of Kelantan was sick and had to be taken to a hospital in Singapore,  and she and her husband’s entourage came with and planned to stay in Singapore for 5 weeks. But as soon as the entourage heard that Mano’s mother was coming to Singapore to try to see her daughter upon hearing that Mano was in Singapore, they packed to go back to Kelantan (Malaysia) after just one night. Mano tried her best to stall time of their departure to give time for her mother to arrive at the hotel by taking a very long shower (during which her door was barraged with knocks to force her to come out), and when she did got out of the bathroom the entourage wanted to  drug her but she managed to fend them off. Finally, in the elevator as they were going down Mano managed to push the lift emergency button, which really helped because almost suddenly the Singaporean police came and it was then that she asked not to be returned to the Malaysians and instead asked to be reunited with her mother who at the time just arrived at the hotel.

So the nightmare had a happy ending after all, and Mano not only spoke about how bad it was for her to be forced living in Kelantan against her will but also spoke out about the fate of the kingdom servants. She spoke about how it was true that she was given money by her husband, a whopping 3 thousand Malaysian ringgits  (appr USD  855,31) but because it was too much of a hassle to spend that money (apparently the royal red tape of spending money that small was just too much so she decided against spending any of it and instead made cakes and cookies to earn money for herself).

Evidently, Mano asked for help from the Indonesian Embassy in Malaysia, but like most Indo Embassies, they weren’t any help to her (or to other Indonesian citizens overseas either). She even thinks that the Indonesian Ambassador to Malaysia should be replaced because it seemed that not only were they not helpful at all, they also created stories that Mano was ok, was happy in Malaysia and all the allegations made by her mother against her husband and his family was a lie when it was actually true right from the start.

Well, in this particular subject I must agree with her, I think most Indonesian Ambassadors should be replaced by clean and honest individuals who are willing to work, serve and protect his/her country and countrymen and most importantly, those who would not steal from the people and the country, something many do without the slightest hint of remorse - oh the things I know about Indonesian diplomats/Ambassadors will give you goosebumps for sure! (as you know corruption is very common among the members of other Departments and Ministries in Indonesia as well)

Now back to Mano’s escape, so she finally she managed to escape the evil claws of the Kelantan Sultanate by the help of the US Embassy in Singapore, FBI (Apparently she still holds a US passport as well as Indonesian - Her father is a US citizen and she is still under 18, so she can still have two citizenships under Indonesian law) and the Indonesian Embassy in Singapore (which I suspect finally helped after the US govt started to make her their concern.  (Can you say Chicken??)

Now where was the Indo government before the US stepped in? Probably busy abusing and ripping off poor unsuspecting Indonesian people out of their rights, but I won’t say anymore because complaining online about anything or anyone even if it is true can now be grounds for arrest and imprisonment and prison life  doesn’t really agree with my skin, hair nor Mr. Husband’s libido so I must be unselfish and think about them before opening my big mouth (or let my big fingers type anything incriminating).

Enough about this, you should read it yourself. I’m afraid all the links I provide here are in Indonesian but I think within the next few days all the major Indonesian (and probably Malaysian) newspapers will have more news on this case.

- Manohara: Yang silet-silet itu benar

- Daisy senang tuduhan atasnya terbantahkan

- Deplu sampaikan nota diplomatik ke Malaysia (although I think it’s a tad too late now)

- Mano ingin mejadi aktivis dan kembali menjadi model

- Manohara dan kemewahan semu kerajaan Kelantan

- FBI dan Kedubes AS terlibat pembebasan Manohara

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