I’ve been reading  brain science now a days and one of the thing that I’ve come across is that every word that we speak creates an image for another person listening to it.

Example :

I want you to close your eyes and first imagine word “Disappointment”, pause for a moment and see what mental image is formed for you. After approx. 10 sec. think of word “Happiness” again pause for a moment and see what mental image is formed for you.   You’ll see that your feelings and emotions shifts with both the words.  Now look at something you love, frown and say its bad and see your mental state.  Observe the shift in your internal state.  Its been proven scientifically that your internal state shifts dramatically with word that you use, not only it shifts the state for you but it also shifts the state for person listening to it.

See your mental image for every word like Love, Gratitude, Disaster, Breakdown etc. and see if you can discover something for yourself.

So when we are in conversation with people, every word that we speak creates a mental image for the other persona and their action are consistent with mental image that gets formed for the other person.  Next time when you’ve conversation with your loved ones, client, team etc. make sure use word that creates mental image that will allow them to take powerful action.

Try replacing word like “problem” with “challenge” or “opportunity” OR “I’m not feeling good ” with “I’m not in best of my health”.  Be creative with your words but use words that creates positive mental picture for you and others and see the difference.

I’ll appreciate if reader can suggest what words we can take on replacing, so that we can prepare the list that makes a difference.

Wishing you Miraculous Results in your life.

I want to express my gratitude to :

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Have you asked yourself a question- In whose hand is my happiness? Some of you will say, obviously my happiness is in my hand, but most of us don’t even know what that means. It’s a good concept but do we really operate from the thought that ‘my happiness is in my hand’. The truth is we don’t. We humans have the tendency of putting our happiness in other person’s hand and then they’ve to live up to that so that you can be happy.

You may have observed when someone gets into a new relationship, there is so much of happiness and later that happiness seems to disappear. What happens there? In the initial stage of the new relationship, you keep your happiness in your hand; you are at the source of your happiness. So no matter what the other person says or does, its ok for you.  There is no expectation. You were sourcing love in that relationship; you were sourcing happiness in that relationship. You’ll forgive the person if he comes late or try to find something good in everything that they are doing, ‘cause you kept your happiness with you in that relationship and that was causing even the other person to be happy. Then after some time, you take your happiness and give it in the hands of the other person.  You start making the other person responsible for your happiness. You start expecting the other person to behave in a certain way, be in a certain way or react in a certain way so that you can be happy. Suddenly the relationship that was full of love is now full of expectation. Relationship that was giving you joy, is now not acceptable. Same person, but different experience. Nothing changed except for the fact that you’ve given your happiness in the other person’s hand.

Let’s see some of the life’s scenarios where we give our happiness in other persons’ hand:

- Giving our happiness in the hands of our parents, assuming we’ll be happy when they’ll love us more than our sibling/s or when they’ll give us our share of something.

- Giving our happiness in the hands of our spouse, assuming that they will do things to keep us happy or he/she would behave in a certain way all the time to keep us happy.

- Giving our happiness in the hands of our children, assuming they’ll do well in studies or behave in a certain way to keep us happy.

- Giving our happiness in the hands of our boss, assuming he/she will give us promotion the way we want.

- Giving our happiness in the hands of our customer, assuming he/she will give us business that we want.

These are only some of the examples of us handing over our happiness. But the fact is our happiness is in our hand and we don’t have to hand it over to anyone. We are at the source of our happiness.  And the only way we can source it is through Love, Gratitude & Forgiveness.

This is my belief that you reading this post is not a co-incidence, universe wants you to be happy.  This is my intention that your life is filled with happiness and you make others happy too.

Wishing you life full of happiness!

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We all want lot of things in our life. But, how many of us are actually able to accomplish what we want? We all are great in creating vision for ourselves and people around; but when we take action, consistent to that vision, we start to think about all the thoughts that stopped us in the past and we keep collecting evidence of why things cannot happen in our life. We want lot of things but achieving that vision sounds mysterious to us and most of us are resigned about fulfilling our vision.

If you want your vision to come alive, then the first step is to give all your energy to what you want vs what you don’t want. The only barrier between us and the vision being fulfilled is, we don’t believe in our vision. We believe in what we don’t want. That’s the reason why New Year resolutions don’t get fulfilled ‘cause they are not backed up by any belief’.  The minute someone creates a New Year resolution, he/she is already clear it won’t happen. For example if someone wants to lose weight. When he/she creates the resolution, he/she is already clear that it won’t happen. They believe more in what they cannot do about the vision- like they cannot get up in the morning and go for a walk or they cannot control their weight / food habits etc. They start getting worried about the outcome. Their vision is always followed by worries and they end up fulfilling the worry.

I’ll continue with the same example. If you want to create a vision of losing weight then first thing you need to do is to create it like a vision. When you create a vision, never use the language of what you don’t want or language of not; but rather use the language of what you exactly want in your future. Now it’s been proven scientifically that the subconscious mind only registers where your focus is; the more you think of what you don’t want, you’ll get more of it. Don’t entertain conversations like- I don’t want to look fat, I don’t want that extra weight, I want to lose weight ‘cause it makes me look ugly, I cannot get up in morning, I cannot control my eating habits etc.

What you need to do when you create a vision statement:

1) Believe in yourself that you can do it.

2) Trust that your future has already happened.

3) Give gratitude / love to your vision.

4) Always create a future that is specific.

What your vision should look like:

I’m full of health and vitality by _______ and my weight is ___ kg by _______.  I’m in love with this vision of mine and I thank my body and universe to make it happen. (You can replace the word universe with source / god if you want, whichever is your belief.

The Creation of the vision has four important factors:

1) It has to be written as if it has already happened.

2) It has to be very very specific.

3) You should express your gratitude to the universe / source /god to make it happen.

4) And lastly you have to believe in what you are creating.

Important Practice when you share your vision:

1) Always talk to people about your Vision.

2) Express your thanks in your sharing of the vision to someone.

3) Never talk to anyone about what you cannot do or what won’t happen.

It’s very very important that you think more about your vision and believe in it vs. something that you don’t want. The more you think about what you want and the more you talk to people about what you want, the more of what you want will show up in your life.

Remember : “Vision followed by worry always fulfills the worry”

You reading this is not a co-incidence. The universe wants you to fulfill something. I invite you to create a vision now and my intention is that it will become real.

Wishing you great success in life!

I want to express my gratitude to :

1) Landmark Education for coaching me in several distinctions of life.  I can not thank enough.

2) Vatsala for proof reading this post.  Thank you once again.

3) I want to thank all my coaches in my life span, who have trained me to  think in insightful way.

4) Lastly I want to thank you for reading this post.

- I write cause I know someone is reading it, thank you for reading it-

With Lots of Love – Rishi Modi

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In our family we started a small practice at the dinner table few days back that has created profound love and happiness in the family. We all find lot of sharing, joy and connectedness be present among each other.

Before I talk about this new practice that we took on, let me make it clear that there was nothing wrong in the way we used to have dinner earlier. We all used to have dinner as per our convenience. I take it a little late in the night, my son has it after he comes back from his play time, Dad and mom have it early in the evening and my wife (Rachana) has it with me or when she feels hungry.  It was the perfect way for all of us.

I always had this thought that the dinner table can be a place where we as a family can be united and we should eat together but always felt that just eating together is not enough. One day when I was writing my gratitude for some people, I suddenly had this thought – what if the dinner table were to become the place where we practice gratitude, share and contribute to each other’s life.  That would be the perfect way of completing the day for each one of us.

The same day in the evening, I assembled everyone and created with them, “I have this idea that we all should take dinner together at 9:00 pm from today onwards and everyone has to share at the dinner table all the happy moments from the day. No one will share an upset or a complaint. If you are upset about something you will leave it behind and shall come to the dinner table. If you are in the house, you have to make sure whatever activity you are doing is complete by that time. Point is we meet at 9:00 pm sharp.”  Then I asked everyone, what they think about this.  Everyone agreed to it and were excitedly looking forward to this practice being in place.

First day when we met, we all were looking forward to it but were waiting who would start first. I was the first person to break the ice. I started with sharing my happy moments.  It was really tough and embarrassing to share happy moments from the day.  It took lot of courage to do this as we have never done this as a family.  Then slowly others shared. We did not look in each others eyes on day one when we were sharing. There was an element of shyness, embarrassment, being ridiculed etc. But I think we were clear this is awesome.  After 2-3 days the hitch of sharing disappeared, all of us started becoming more and more self expressed in sharing.

In the initial days we also struggled to find our happiest moments during the day, cause we never thought of it that way. So we had to literally think hard to find times that we could call happy moments.  Soon our list started to increase as we were now present to our day.

For me suddenly I started collecting moments from the day that I could share at the dinner table.  My biggest realization was that how much of life is passing by and I don’t even know happy moments from my life; how much I’m not present to the happiness and joy that life brings forth.

Now, no matter how the day passes for each of us, we all look forward to the dinner time, as we all experience being fully connected with each other. My son has the biggest list of happiness moments as compared to we grown ups.  Its amazing to see how children find happiness in small small things.  We are more present to each others life.  Now we all know what makes each other happy.

This 20-30 minutes of dinner time which had no importance in our life, has become an important part of our life now.  It’s a place to celebrate, contribute and enjoy.

** If this post has contributed to your life, please let me know.**

My Thanks Giving for this post :

1) I thank my family for being in my life and celebrating with me.

2) I thank all the authors and coaches/ gurus of mine who gave me inspiration to write.

3) I once again thank Vatsala for proof reading this post and making it look good.

4) I thank you for reading this post and contributing to my life.

5) I thank all the sites & people who contributed their images for this post.

- I write cause I know someone is reading it, thank you for reading it -

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An incidence that happened yesterday made me realise the degree to which I’m opinionated about people.

 Yesterday I was trying to contact a person who is our business associate. In the morning I sent an SMS to him but I received no reply. In the afternoon I called him but his phone was ringing; again I tried to get through to him in the late afternoon and his phone was just ringing.  Every time I called him, I felt he was avoiding me.

 Around 6 pm I got a call. When I looked at my cellphone, I saw the person’s number flashing. I immediately picked it up and this is what I heard from the other side, “Hey Rishi I’m sorry. When you called up it was 4.30 am as I am in San Francisco and it’s 6 am now.” I was shocked, surprised and amazed.  I immediately said sorry to him and told him we could talk later. But he insisted that I share with him why I had called.  We spoke for 5 minutes and concluded the call.

 After the call I realised how easily I form opinions about people and then become right about it. When people meet my expectation they are excellent human beings; if not I’m ready with my “Opinion Axe” to chop them off.  I’m a big opinionated fool. This is how I drive people who love me away from my life.

 Next thing I did was write an SMS to him. I apologised to him and wrote that who he is for me is an extraordinary person. I’m clear it’s love that matters to me and if opinion drives people away from me or takes away my peace of mind then, IT’S SURELY NOT WORTH IT!

2) Surely Vatsala for proof reading my blog post and make it look good

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We all want a breakthrough in the area of health.  We all want great health, but why does it looks like it is difficult to have great health.  The answer is simple. You and I are not in love with our health.  You may say, “but I love my health”.  I don’t deny that.

However, I want you to see if you fall in any of the types below and than judge for your self if you are truely in love with your health.

Worried type : People, all the time, trying to identify what’s wrong with them and their body fall in this type.  They go to the doctor for a check up. If the doctor says, “You are alright”, they go to another doctor thinking, may be the diagonisis is not correct.

They will get  their tests done and will be worried about something will show up in test and they’ll make every one around them worried about their health.

These are people who keep doubting their body, they don’t trust it and live life from experience that something is Wrong with them. They are worried that they will die.  If someone dies around them than they get worried about themselves .  They  don’t get that they are already dead before dying as they are not living anyways (suffering from fear that something will happen to them). They don’t love themselves and don’t love their body.

Passionately complaining type : You’ll also see passionate people who will move around saying what they are suffering from, something like I’m diabetic, I’ve arthritis or I’ve blood pressure etc.  I used the word passionately cause you can see the passion in which they are sharing.  It’s like when I’ve a new born baby and I’m in love with my than,  I’ll go to different people and talk about it. Let the world know that I’ve a baby.  They do the same, move around the world and talk about their disease   When you complaint passionately about what you don’t want, what you don’t want shows up more prominently.  Thats not loving your health either.  Its an act more making that disease become more real in your life.

Ignorant type : Than their are some type of people who are absolutely ignorant about their health.  They don’t care about what they eat, they don’t care about exercising or sleeping.  But they are shit scared if they’ve to go through some tests.  Cause they know they don’t love their health.

Access to Extraordinary health

How can you have something in your life, if you don’t love it.  If we spend half the time  (we use in complaining), in loving our health, our life will not be the same.  Love is your access to Health and Vitality.  No matter what you are dealing with, in the area of health, you can always go back to Loving your Health.   You can cause a “Miracle” in the area of health.

When you go to a shop, you don’t buy everything. You only buy things that you fall in love with. Thee starting point of having something is falling in love with it.  Are you in love with your health?  If not time to Love yourself and every aspect of you.  There are a few practices that I would recommend for causing ean extraordinary breakthrough in the area of health.

Here are few practices that will allow you to love your health:

1) Always trust your body.

2) Do no go to people talking about how bad your health is or what you are suffering from, when you feel a need to communicate “I’m not feeling well” say “I’m not in the best of my health”, let the focus be on the best of health.

3) If you feel a need to explain about your condition only discuss with your doctor.  Trust your doctor.

4)  Be grateful for your body as much as you can.

5) Repeat The following 2-3 times a day :
“Thank you for  the gift of health. I’ve always been healthy, I’m healthy and I’ll always be healthy. I thank my fitness that comes naturally to me.  I thank my extraordinary immune system for keeping me fit all the time.  Thank you for giving me the right weight and I love it.  Thank you for my alertness that allows me to be creative and active throughout the day.  I’m thankful to my bones and joints for being healthy and in best conditions.  Thank you”

Believe in Miracle and let Miracle come to you in your life and in the area of health.

My Thanks Giving :

1) I thank several authors who’ve given me insight to write this blog post.

2) I thank my participation in Landmark Education for making me insightful.

3) I thank Ajay Baliga for proof reading my blog (You guys can not imagine and number of gramatical mistake I make).  Thank you Ajay for making me look good.

4) I thank you for contributing to me as this post has transformed my relationship to health.

- I write cause I know someone is reading it.

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My Father’s Request

It had been few days since my father had been requesting me to accompany him to buy some clothes, as there is a marriage in the family on 13 th April.  I had been making excuses from last 1 week and had ignored going with him.  For me the logic was, ‘I’ll go but not now’.  It’s not that important.  I’ve too many things to do.

Finally on Sunday

On Sunday, that’s yesterday morning he asked me, “Today if you are free shall we go shopping?”  I first thought of saying no to him; but then I agreed.  He had recently turned 60 and I’d promised him on his birthday that I would buy him a mobile phone. So I asked him what if we also went to the mobile store and got a mobile for him. He agreed to it and I could see a twinkling smile on his face; the happiness was very evident.

At the Shop

On our way to the mobile shop he asked me which phone he should buy. I told him I think he should get a Blackberry.  Then I started thinking- why did I say Blackberry, does he really need it? Why did I choose Blackberry?  I did not like my internal thoughts but I ignored it and went to the mobile shop.
When we reached the shop I asked the person in the store to show us Blackberry phones and he showed us few options. He started with the smaller range and slowly went on to mid range phones and high range phones.  When I saw the small range phone, I asked my dad if he liked it and he said its fine, and asked me to choose what is best for him.  When I saw the mid range phone, I again asked him if he liked it and he repeated that I should choose for him. Finally when I saw the high range phone and I heard the price for it, I asked him in a way that he would say no.  My question was, “If you want we can take this high range phone for you but I don’t know if it’s really worth it,” and I started encouraging him to look at mid range phones.  I personally liked the high range phone but kept endorsing mid range and small range phone. But I did not like the thoughts that were going through inside me; I was feeling discomfort.  I was feeling angry at myself.  I asked myself a question- why am I feeling like this; I should be happy, I’m buying a gift for my dad!

When all this was going on, I remembered how a few days back I had taken my son to a shop to buy a cricket bat.  He never asked for it and I took him without he asking for it and my conversation was that I’m taking him ’cause I love him. Then when he was selecting a bat, I asked him to select the best one and not to worry about money. He selected the best bat in the shop and I was happy getting him the same.

Here I’m with my father in the shop, who had struggled to even bring me to the shop and in the shop I’m more worried about how much do I want to spend.

My next insight was a breakthrough for me. I saw that I relate to my son as “my creation” and my father as “my duty”.  But what I forgot was that even my father is my creation.  The minute I say my son is my creation, I own him; and when I say my father is my duty, I disown him.  Truth is that my father is “My Creator”, he has always been and will always be.  I own him as much as he owes me.  I don’t call anyone else as my father he is the only one.  He is the only person on this planet I’m relating to and calling him – FATHER.  So  my father is now  ”My Creation”.  Wow, my father is my creation and I fully own him.  I fully belong to him and he fully belongs to me. I suddenly saw a different person standing next to me.

I instantly told my dad, “You know Dad, you deserve the high range phone.” He was shocked and happy.  He asked, “Do you really want to spend that kind of money?” I replied effortlessly, “YES!”

He was so delighted to get that mobile, that it cannot be expressed in words.  He got the “Best” and I’m clear I’ve the “best” dad.

Then we went to buy his clothes and spent another 2 hours shopping and having fun together.

At the Dinner Table:

When we were at the dinner table, I shared my experience of the day with him and how I kept relating to him all this while.  He did not say anything but he kept smiling.

My Thanks Giving:

Thank you for reading this post.  Every time I write a post, my life is not the same, as I know in your reading I’m making a difference in my life.

Thanks to my Dad for being an extraordinary person who continues to teach me new values in life.

**** These blogs are contributing more to my life than anyone else.****

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Forgiveness is an extraordinary ability we are born with. Have you noticed when two children fight, they fight one moment and the next minute they forgive each other and start playing together again. Love for children is biggest priority vs. fighting and they know forgiveness is the door to Love and Fulfillment. That is the reason why you see children full of love. If you see a small child next to you in someone’s arm you are automatically drawn to smiling at that child because the child is so full of love that we cannot help but respond to that with love. We have the same ability of forgiveness and celebrating life somewhere in us, as we were children too some years ago.

Then why does it look like we cannot forgive people? Maybe it all started way back in our childhood, the way we were trained by our surrounding and our interpretation of forgiveness. We were always told to ask for forgiveness when we made a mistake; slowly and gradually we started relating to forgiveness as our failure or a punishment. So in the game of survival asking for forgiveness was a big punishment for us. Infact some people take pride in not forgiving people. You may have noticed people saying “I’ll not forgive him for my entire life” as if they are communicating “I’ll punish him for my entire life.”

One doesn’t need to ask for forgiveness after judging the situation or after looking at whose mistake it is. Anyways when we forgive others, it’s never for others, it’s always for ourselves. This may sound contradictory as when we forgive people we think that we are doing something for the other person; but the truth is when we forgive others we are actually doing a favour to our own self. We are restoring our love, power and fulfillment in the matter.

Let me tell you a small story: There was a “well” in a village, always happy and filled with water. There was a small gap underneath the well from where was the source of all the water. Someone told the well that you are great but this gap is making you look bad why don’t you just hide it and don’t worry about water, you will get it from rain and other sources. The well’s ego liked the idea and closed the gap. After some time, the well started to dry up. It used to get water from rain and other sources but was now worried all the time if it would rain the next day. The well would do everything but not go to the source from where it used to get water; infact in the process the well completely forgot about the gap. How stupid of that well, right? But isn’t that what we do? Instead of going back to our source that is love and forgiveness we go every where else for our happiness and fulfillment.

Acknowledgements :

1) Vatsala for proof reading my blog, thanks for making my writing look good.

2) I thank my participation in landmark education as its opening up world of insights for me.

3) I thank all the authors & gurus who have inspired me.

Note : this blog is my attempt to express my insights into word.

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Three days back my son (Kush) came to me and said “Dad I appeared for exam…”  I was a little shocked when I heard that.  Let me give you’ll a background…  My son goes to a school called Tridha and it’s based on Steiner Education System, where they don’t have exams till 7th Std.  So it was obvious for me to wonder which exam he had appeared for.

He clarified that he appeared for an exam at “Balvihar”, the place where he goes on weekend for extra curricular activities. He then excitedly shared with me that he got 40% there, and I could see lot of joy on his face. But I was not able to relate to it, I was thinking so what’s the big deal about it, it’s very very average numbers, doesn’t he realize that!

When I was going through all these thoughts, excitement and happiness was visible on his face. I did not like it. I kept thinking how he could be happy with 40%. In that very moment I saw my life in flash back, my life till date- I thought I was not good enough in studies, I never scored more than 70% in my exams. For me 70% was never good enough, I always used to say 70% is no good and I need to work hard. I used to get up at 3.30 am every morning during my SSC exams to study,  I would go for 3 tuitions, I slept no more than 4 hrs, but no matter how much hard I tried I was not able to score more than 70%, in fact 68.8% to be precise.  I never celebrated my 70%. I never enjoyed it or cherished it.

So when my son got 40%, it was not that I was unhappy about him, I was unhappy about myself.  I saw My failure in his success. I saw myself in him and got disappointed thinking that yet again I did not score it.  I occurred like a failure for myself.

What a jerk I am! I made those 70% equal to my happiness.  I really got 40% or 70%, I can always be happy.  I don’t need to perform in a certain way to be happy.

Today, for the first time I’m in love with my 70%, and I’m celebrating it by sharing it with the world.  Finally after 35 years I got freedom with my studies and I’m proud I got 70%.

Thanks Giving :

1) Vatsala thank you for proof reading my post.  Your support is huge for articulation of my words.

2) My wife (Rachana) for listening to my insight.

3) Finally I thank my son (Kush) for being my biggest master in life.

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Nowadays I’ve taken on practicing Gratitude consciously.  It’s not something that cometo me naturally. In fact it’s very tough for me to practice being Grateful to someone.  To feel grateful to people, I’ve to go beyond my ego, my justification about others, my own superiority or inferiority, my envies etc. I normally don’t feel embarrassed when I’m making people wrong but for me to express my love / gratitude is embarrassing most of the time.

I was not like this when I was small, infact I was full of love. I had no issue loving people and people had no issue loving me. Where did I lose it? When did I lose it?

I think in my childhood, the day I stopped loving myself, I stopped loving others. The day I started giving too much importance to my success & failure, I stopped loving others. The day I started comparing myself with others, I stopped loving others. The day my logical brain started analyzing, judging and evaluating everything around me, I stopped loving others and this goes on and on and on….

Question is, how do I get in touch with the “Love” that I am? Answer is simple, Gratitude.

Practicing Gratitude is practicing Love. The more I’m practicing it, I’m realizing how much of love has been missing from my life.

My practicing Gratitude is giving me access to being connected with the LOVE that I am.  It’s allowing me to connect to people around me, its allowing me to express myself to others and what they contribute to my life.  I’m in love with people, I’m in love with life & I’m in love with you.

Some practices I’m following to express my Gratitude:

1) When I get up in the morning, I meditate for 15 minutes with all the people I’m thankful for.

2) Whenever I meet someone or do something, at the next available opportunity I write in my phone what I’m grateful to that person or thing for.

3) I’ve taken on acknowledging 3 people in a day for what unique I love about them.

4) Before I go to bed, I say Thank you to the world/ source/ god for giving me this extraordinary day.

5) Whenever I type an email, I make sure I express my gratitude towards the other person.

I’ve taken on practicing it consciously for next 60 days.  If I add more practices, I’ll surely add to the post.  Please feel free to suggest practices.

Thank you and I love you for reading this post.

** Special Thanks to Vatsala for proof reading the post.

*** Recommended book for practicing gratitude in your life : The Magic.

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