Who knows exactly when I first heard of Y-Love. I mean I began my interest and study of Orthodox Judaism back in 2005. When you are Black (or a “JOC” – “Jew of Color” as we like to refer to ourselves), you quickly begin to discover a lot of other Jews like to – whether if you try to or not. I do remember knowing about Y-Love for just as long as I’ve known about Matisyahu. And although I’ve never met him, I felt that he was a “kindred spirit” (like my Anne of Green Gables reference there? ). He was also of Caribbean heritage and knew from a young age that he wanted to be a Jew. He was very outspoken about racial issues in the Jewish community and also seemed to be very comfortable reconciling his own heritage together with the complex lifestyle that comes with living as an Orthodox Jew. He was a great role model for me, and probably many other Black Jews-to-Be in regards to seeing just how being Orthodox could “work” out for us.

Earlier this week, I started seeing comments on Facebook which led me to discover that Out Magazine ran a story announcing that Y-Love is gay. Unfortunately, the comments that led me to this were overwhelmingly negative. It was sort of a panic-mode among both JOCs and gerim (converts to Judaism). How would Y-Love’s decision reflect on us? But even more disturbing were the sentiments that publicly admonished Y-Love, and scolded him for ever opting to convert to Judaism in the first place.

Seeing the reactions made me feel like I was drowning. Drowning in a sea of outspoken Jews who could not see the forest for the trees if their life depended on it. They were quick to through out Talmudic quotes and state how halacha forbids homosexual relationships. Well how about the halacha of loving the ger? What about all of the halachos regarding ahavat Yisrael? Didn’t Hashem even hold the utmost love for his faithful servant David HaMelech, even though he created the heinous sin of sending a man off to be killed, simply so that he could steal his wife?

Who is without sin? The Torah is holy and our guide to the most ideal living, but who fulfills all of it, all of the time? I don’t write this to snub Orthodox Judaism. However the most beautiful thing about living an observant Jewish life is having the ability to be grateful and satisfied with your lot and putting trust in the fact that G-d just knows better than you do. So regardless of my own personal disagreements with homosexuality, who am I to judge?

Y-Love’s announcement comes at no big surprise to many of us; myself included. Although I hardly know him, I could see a very handsome, talented Black Jewish man that seemed to evade being matched in spite of countless Jewish women (of all races and persuasions) swooning over him. His marriage was very short and he always seemed to refer to it with an unhappy, unfortunate tone. Yet I’m not with the “I told you so” camp here. No. Instead I feel hurt for him…and sad. Sad that he has had to live with this privately, internalizing his true-self. It’s a shame that he even had to hesitate in regards to the implications of his honesty. But more than anything I am ashamed at the callous reactions that seem to be rampant regarding his decision. The public admonishment and scorn is something that one Jew should never do to another. And yes, Y-Love is a Jew. Those who talk of invalidating or annulling his conversion should bite their tongues — and quickly too.

Every religion has members who grow and wane in their religious tenacity. Everyone feels that and Orthodox Jew going off the derech (lessening in observance or becoming totally non-religious) is some sort of travesty. But how many of us see the travesty in the circumstances that lead a person to the unfortunate choices that they have to make. For sure the saddest part is that Y-Love is being shunned and has few places of refuge among the very people that he choose to join.

Well Y-Love, when you find that refuge, be sure to let me know. I’ll be quick to join you!

I make no qualms about admitting that I have six-figure student loan debt and I make less than $40K annually right now. To me, this is nothing to be ashamed of or make apologies about. Sure, looking back, there are many things that I could have done differently that would have made college cheaper for me. However to me, that is water under the bridge, and in a nutshell, I did whatever I needed to do in order to obtain my college degree.

To illustrate, let’s step away from the academic setting to the international stage. You see, I am a first-generation American on my father’s side, and I know first-hand that the mindset of many third-world country immigrants in regards to coming to the United States is that of just improving their lives. They are not looking to get rich and most do not see themselves as failures if they don’t end up with a home in the suburbs and two or three mid-sized cars in the garage. In fact my Grandmother, who was 49 years old when she first came to this country, lived as a low-income American for the remainder of her life. However her children and Grandchildren were exposed to increased opportunity because of her actions. With them, there also is no guarantee that they will reach middle or high income status; but the chance of this is greater than if she would have remained in Jamaica.

And this is ultimately how I view academia. The discussion about skyrocketing tuition costs is pretty much a moot point with me since my family couldn’t afford to pay for even the least expensive tuition rates (unless those rates were $0). So I always qualified for an EFC of $0 according to my FAFSA, and then make due with the grant/loan package that was offered to me. My path through college was far from linear, but in the end, I was able to graduate. The alternatives would have been #1 – not to go to college at all and #2 – drop out of college out of fear of the debt and have no degree to show for it. For me, neither of these options were acceptable because I wanted to at least get the tools that could prepare me for career success…even if there was a chance that it would not come.

For me, my pursuit of an MBA is along the same lines; although not as compulsory as a bachelor’s degree. The main difference being circumstance…and where you are in your career in terms of justification for the degree. Traditionally, an MBA degree was something that a professional pursued after several years of work in their field; then they would go for the MBA as a stepping ladder into executive positions. Needless to say, I do not fit into the traditional mold. I earned my bachelor’s degree after several years of professional experience. However I obtained that degree right when the economy was particularly bad, and I was wrought with some very serious health issues. So from a professional standpoint, I had actually backtracked – from being an un-degreed working professional, to a B.A. holder who was unemployed. I opted to go straight to B-School, not necessarily because I felt like “pushing off” real life — but because the time was right from a personal (so not professional) perspective. I had the free time, the access to financial aid, and no husband and children to worry about. So in that aspect, my opportunity costs were very low. I also opted to focus on tuition first and foremost, while keeping quality in sight, but not giving it veto power. So my MBA tuition costs for very low; about $15,000.

I don’t doubt for a second that someone could do a quick financial analysis and say that my pursuit of an MBA was a waste of time and money. That I would have been better investing the money into a business and going from there. However no one on earth is able to see into the future. And the present did not present me any opportunities to secure funding for starting a business, but I did have the option to access student loans for my MBA.

So while I enjoy reading all of these articles and opinions about rather an MBA is worth it or not, I’ll stick by my own personal take on the matter: the individual circumstances of both MBA programs and MBA holders are far to diverse to make any type of generalization in support of or against the degree. An MBA degree, just like any other college degree, does not stand alone by itself to make or break a person’s professional success. Rather it just simply contributes, along with a plethora of other factors (i.e. social connections, ambition, personal lives, etc.), to the eventual outcome.

I’ve learned to love my name. But it wasn’t always that way. I remember when I was a young child, I was incredibly frustrated that no one else shared my name. I also didn’t like the fact that it’s spelling was not intuitive to most people, and my name was (and is) constantly misspelled. However when I started becoming interested in Judaism, I was surprised and delighted that my name was distinctively Hebrew; to the point where people wondered if one of my parents was Israeli.

While my relatively newly found pride in my name has stopped my desire to change my name, I still find myself getting put off by people who misspell and mispronounce my name. The most common misspellings being “Rashawna” or “Rishonda” — both of which strike my eye as ‘ghetto names‘ (which is a term that is highly subjective and far from definitive, by the way). Yet it is most likely not fair for me to expect the majority of the general public to understand the etymology of my name. For all they know, my mother could have just made it up by stringing some sounds together.

But getting back to the ‘ghetto name’ bit…because I feel people reading this can misinterpret my intentions here: to me, a name is a name. Being ‘ghetto’ is largely a state of mind and attitude…and it surpasses locale and economic status. However, that is my view — which differs from society’s view. CBS News ran this story showing how those with ‘Black-sounding’ names are less likely to receive a callback on their resume. Here’s what they reported:

White names got about one callback per 10 resumes; black names got one per 15. Carries and Kristens had call-back rates of more than 13 percent, but Aisha, Keisha and Tamika got 2.2 percent, 3.8 percent and 5.4 percent, respectively. And having a higher quality resume, featuring more skills and experience, made a white-sounding name 30 percent more likely to elicit a callback, but only 9 percent more likely for black-sounding names.

I remember having conversations regarding names with two of my previous co-workers. One was a tall, blonde girl named Keisha ____ (her last name was also ‘Black sounding’) who said that on several job interviews (and we were only 24 years old at the time), the people remarked with surprise that she was not Black. Yet she took it in stride…generally finding it funny. Another conversation was with a Black co-worker of mine named LaToya, who was less than impressed with her name…and felt like it branded her at a Black woman to employers. She felt like I could relate. I asked her, “Why?”. Her response was that my name also “sounded Black”. I told her in some places yes, but most likely not in South Florida — which had a significant Jewish and Israeli population (in fact I knew two other Rishonas in Florida, both were White women). I encouraged her to Google my name, and she was surprised to see that about 50% of the results were non-Black people.

The fact that I get bent out of shape over misconceptions and bastardizations about/of my name shows that I most likely have some deep-seated issues with self-worth. I am Black, and proud of it — but I don’t want my name on paper to be held up to someone else’s misguided stereotypes about Black people. But the same can be said in regards to seeing me on the street. The difference is if my name were Tiffany or Jessica, at least I would make it past that initial round of racism (if appearances are left out of it). But when it comes to racist people, does it even matter how you are as a person? Are they ever able to get past your skin color to begin with?

But don’t get me wrong — I’m not changing my name. I may think that Beyonce is overrated, but I give her props for keeping her birth name. But just like people have learned to spell and pronounce her name, I would really appreciate the same type of consideration. Really….it’s the polite thing to do!

As Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich writes in his essay “Renewing America,” “The welfare system has sapped the spirit of the poor and made it harder to climb the first rungs of the economic ladder.”

Such a system not only leads welfare recipients to become satisfied with lives of “subsidized idleness,” but it also places an unfair burden on the workers who must pay for the program, Gingrich continues. Why should working taxpayers be forced to take fiscal responsibility for those who do not take responsibility for themselves?

This is the opinion shared by many of those who have anti-welfare sentiments. Basically “I don’t want to spend any of my money on raising the kids of someone who can’t afford to support them themselves.” Personally I don’t see how anyone with 1/2 a heart can read that and not sense any tinge of condescension in such a statement (or those similar to it).

I born to a teenage mother who always worked in low-paying jobs. While I was cared for primarily by my retired grandparents (who were also low-income), it was because of her that I qualified for many government programs. She was never on cash assistance or Section 8; but I lived in a neighborhood where for many people, that was the case. In spite of having a live-in partner for most of her adult life, my mother has always had a hard time financially. I don’t know if you can blame either her or society for her circumstances. Even if I had never been born, I doubt that my mother would have went to college (my existence didn’t prevent that for her — child care for me was free and provided by my Grandparents). My mother is a hard worker, but she’s not a risk taker. Many times people would suggest for her to move elsewhere (which she did once….but then had to return home due to relationship issues) for better job prospects and salaries. But she was always one to stick it out at a job unless she absolutely, positively had to leave it. Hence why she’s been in the same position for the last 15 years, even though it pays less than $12.00/hour.

Growing up, I took another path. I went to college, remained child-free and have not been shy about leaving a job for a better opportunity (real or perceived). The results of my efforts are a mixed bag. Yes, I have a higher income than my mother does; but I also have a lot more debt. I also live paycheck to paycheck and am effectively barred from any type of social service programs whatsoever due to my income. My neighborhood has changed, but is still populated with people who are on Section 8 and who collect welfare. So in a nutshell, I’ve done exactly what the naysayers have said to do. I’ve “taken responsibility for myself and my actions”. But the truth is in the end, that is still hardly enough to put you ahead economically or socially.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not envy people on welfare. And I do feel that welfare in its current state is a disaster. People easily talk about contraception for poor people and are quick to say “don’t have kids unless you can afford them”. Well what exactly is the magical income level that allots for this? New estimates puts raising a child from birth to age 18 at $226,920. That’s $12,207 per year to be spent just on childcare & expenses. With almost 50% of Americans living on a household income of less than $46,000 per year, it makes you wonder if some of these people aren’t throwing stones while living in glass houses.

In my previous post about food stamps, I provided some links to show that social service programs aren’t as draining on the government coffers as you would think. Although the attitude perpetuated by the social services system is that of one where the government is doing you some sort of big favor, and you are practically a criminal for taking advantage of them. However the truth of the matter is that welfare has severe time limits, it largely benefits innocent children born into poverty (single, healthy adults can almost never collect cash welfare benefits), and the amounts given are paltry when compared to the actual costs of maintaining a household.

But the most disastrous effect of welfare is the one effect that is the most difficult to quantify; and that is the overwhelming sense of hopelessness and negativity that surround the welfare system. There is the feeling that if you are not able to find a job making at least $25,000/year (which is 60% above minimum wage), then there is no use in even bothering. And there remains very little help out there if you do decide to look for work anyway. As the subject of this piece put so well:

“They don’t actually help you find a job,” she said. “They don’t get you work.” Eva said the jobs she’s found have all been through connections. “If you don’t know someone, you don’t get a job.”

There is the public perception problem that “welfare” is an issue for minority single-mothers; when in reality, it is an issue that affects many working-class families…including White ones. And there is the societal attitude that certain “mistakes” in life; such as having a child (or children) out of wedlock, or not taking your education seriously, are unforgivable sins that both you and your offspring must pay for indefinitely.

There are no easy answers here, and I would never pretend otherwise. The current economy makes it difficult for even workers with college degrees to find employment. So for under-educated, ill-prepared welfare recipients, the horizon is even more bleak. However changing public perception can do nothing but help. Never is the welfare system touted as a system of support to those who need it; as something that makes our country a great one. Something that gives people hope. That gives them the message that we do in fact care about the health and well-being of you and your children, in spite of your inability to earn a living wage. This change in spirit would be a step in the right direction on a very long road ahead.

Growing up as a child in Southwestern Pennsylvania, I only had a vague notion of my family’s background in Jamaica; even though I was born only 2 short years after they arrived in the U.S. Perhaps that is the exact reason why I was told so little; my family was too focused on settling in here that they didn’t want to dwell on and tell stories of the family history in Jamaica.

It was only after my Grandmother died in 1994 that I began to fully understand that side of my family’s history. In my hometown, you had Black people and you had White people (never knew of any Latinos and the only Asians were the ones that owned the local Chinese restaurant). In spite of my Grandmother looking like this woman’s sister (unfortunately I don’t have any scanned pictures of my own Grandmother), to me…and everyone else, she was just “that Jamaican lady”. To me, her brown skin made her a part of the Black community, no questions asked. Things did get a little tricky though when a visiting missionary from Thailand came for a year (or was it two) and people began to remark how much she and my Grandmother looked alike. For a moment, I thought my Grandmother also might be Thai. It didn’t make sense to me how; but it was an easy explanation for my Grandmother’s unique appearance.

When I was 8 or 9, my Father took me to an Indian restaurant in Pittsburgh. He plainly explained to me while they had foods like curry chicken, dhal and roti on the menu, they were very different than how my Grandmother made them. That’s how I got a crash course on the relationship between India and Jamaica…and that my Grandmother’s ethnicity wasn’t some sort of enigma; she was Indian.

But it would still be several more years before I began to see the big picture.

My Grandmother was born Iris Tewari in 1927 in the parish of Clarendon. Her mother died when she was a teenager, and her relationship with her father was strained; most likely because she was the oldest daughter and he had the expectation that she would serve as the fill-in for her deceased mother. She never had a formal education and before age 20, she set out on her own to go live in Mandeville. She later moved on to Kingston where she met my biological Grandfather — a Black Jamaican police officer who was killed when my father was still pretty young.

My Grandmother had an independent nature and being a young Jamaican urbanite in the 1950s & 60s, she became estranged from her rural family. Therefore by the time she came to America in the 1970s, they were remnants of a distant past, and I myself knew little of them.

My father however was very interested in maintaining relationships and talking to the older members of our family. From what he was told, our family came to Jamaica in the mid-19th century by way of Kolkatta (Calcutta). I always thought this meant that they were actually from Kolkatta, but research shows that they were more likely from either Utter Pradesh or Bihar. At least two generations passed before my family had enough resources to utilize the land that they received as payment for their indentured servitude. My Grandmother’s father’s family land was in Sandy Bay (Clarendon) while her mother’s was in an area we call “Chateau” (I’m not 100% sure where it’s located).

Almost 1/2 a million Indians came over to the Caribbean, but only 36,000 of the 1.5 million came to Jamaica. Indentured servitude was a strange situation; one that I still struggle to understand. Basically plantation owners in the Caribbean did not want to pay the newly freed Africans the wages that they demanded to work on plantation. So to spite them, the planters opted to get cheap labor from elsewhere. With the Indians, they contracted them into 5 years worth of labor; after which, the planter would pay for their passage back to India (a 90-day to 5 month trip by ship mind you). This rarely ever happened. Instead the Indians would be contracted into more years of servitude. Eventually the ships stopped making return trips to India. Today, only about 1% of the Jamaican population is classified as being of “East Indian” decent.

This is why I personally find little relevance in regards to racial classifications. Ethically…or genetically, I am 1/4 East Indian. However from a physical perspective, no one looking at me would know that. And from a cultural perspective, the influence on my life has been simply 1/2 American and 1/2 Jamaican. Because my Grandmother had no strong connection or ties to India, there was really little to pass on to my generation.

Is it a tragedy that so little knowledge and connection remains between Indo-Caribbeans and India? Well, it is no more or less of a tragedy than people of African decent in the West knowing so little (or nothing) about their respective native heritages. I am proud of my ancestors, of where they came from and what they have been through. But my plan is to look and move forward. To transcend any pre-set notions that may beset me because of my perceived race.

Marcel Apperloo

One of the things that tends to drive me up the wall is the inaccurate media definitions of Orthodox Jews. They seem to carelessly and loosely define the term, as well as make it synonymous with Chassidic Jews, as well as having to clear distinction made between “standard” Orthodox Jews and “Ultra-Orthodox Jews“.

First of all, let’s start with the basics. An Orthodox Jew is simply a Jew that believes that the Torah is divine and that all of its laws are binding. There are many Orthodox Jews who physically appear no different than your average American in terms of dress and mannerisms. Many of them live and work in areas and environments that are mainly non-Jewish. These types of Orthodox Jews are generally blind to the media due to their non-distinctiveness. A good example of such a Jew would be Dr. Mayim Bialik.

Chassidic Jews are actually the real darlings of the media due to their distinctive dress and lifestyle. However in the U.S., there are only about 180,000 Chassidic Jews; with a large percentage of them located in New York. Compare this to the Amish population, which is about 249,500. Speaking of the Amish, Chassidic Jews may look like they are stuck in the 17th century, but the reality is they engage in modern pleasures and technology just like mainstream America does. For example, B&H Photo is owned by Chassidic Jews and you’ll most likely see a good number of them working there when you go to their showroom in New York. What really distinguishes the Chassidim however is their commitment to maintain separation between their culture and lifestyle and that of the non-Jewish world around them.

Similarly Charedi Jews go to great lengths to maintain their Jewish distinctiveness in regards to dress, lifestyle and culture. There are many differences between Charedi and Chassidic Jews, mainly that Charedi Jews are misnagdim; however I believe these differences are not really discernible to outsiders. What I would like to point out though is that just about every “Modern” Orthodox Jew I know either has Charedi Jews in their families or are acquainted with Charedi Jews socially. So in spite of their “distinctiveness” we share yom tovim (holidays), simchas (joyous events) and learn with them. So in many cases, the designation is far more significant outside of the Jewish community than within it.

The trouble arises when the media says the term “Ultra-Orthodox”, because you are never quite sure who they are referring to. Judaism itself has no division or group called “The Ultra-Orthodox”…so its a term that is open wide to interpretation. Surprisingly, the term Chassidic is also twisted in the media; as clearly demonstrated by the Pearly Reich story. Her appearance on Dr. Phil along with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach made me cringe:

First of all, let me address the whole “arranged marriage” notion. No modern day group of Jews have true arranged marriages, comparable to what you would find in India even, where the parents (or someone else) chooses their children’s spouse and they have no say whatsoever in the matter. I have personally known Satmar Chassidic Jews who were 25 years old and unmarried simply because they did not want to be married. What there is within Orthodox Judaism is a very strong and ever pervasive social pressure to get married and have children. For Orthodox Jews, marriage is the start of adulthood, and it is one of the greatest mitzvahs (good deed/Jewish law) that the common Jew can fulfill. Therefore an Orthodox Jew of any sex will feel some level of ostracization for not being married. To some extent, their family may feel this as well. However, social pressure is not the same as having arranged marriages. Even Chassidic Jews are to marry someone who they desire to marry; and divorce is possible as well.

The next inaccuracy portrayed in this segment is the presentation of Ms. Reich and Rabbi Boteach as cultural peers…when they are not. Pearl Reich is from Borough Park, so was most likely a member of the Bobov, Ger or Satmar (among others) Chassidic groups. She is most likely not Lubavitch, like Rabbi Boteach is. To be fair (or fairer than the media however), Dr. Phil would not have been able to get a non-Lubavitch Chassidic rabbi on his show; since in general they feel that disputes between Jews need to be handled by Jews and is of no concern to the non-Jewish world (its like airing your dirty laundry out onto the street). However the nature of Lubavitch is to publicize and market Judaism to the unobservant Jewish masses. So they are very different than other Chassidim in this way.

In fact, it still amazes me at how easily the media equates Lubavitch Chassidim with Chassidim in general, with absolutely no regard to this. It happened when Oprah spent time with a Chassidic family and focused on that; downplaying the fact that they were Lubavitch Chassidim who actually differ from the rest of Chassidim (and non-Chassidic Orthodox Jews) in many ways.

Which brings me to my concluding pet peeve; the amazement at how Orthodox Jews eschew television and popular media…and wider exposure in general. The media tends to marvel at the general ignorance that many Orthodox Jews have about television of popular American culture. But the reality is no one is knowledgeable about things that they have no interest in or invest any time interacting with. For example, I know nothing about Chinese opera. Many elderly people have no clue about hip-hop. These facts shock few people. However it may come as a shock to some people that I myself don’t have cable TV. I am not a Chassidic or Ultra-Orthodox Jew, but my priorities in regards to what I spend my money on are different than that of those who are non-Jews.

In closing I would just like people to realize that the media is not always interested in imparting truth and knowledge. Most of the time, they just want your attention & if they have to gloss over the facts every once and a while to do it, so be it.

It may shock many people to hear that I actually agree with the general sentiments of Dr. Khalid Muhammad. I do not hear hate in his speech, but rather a tenacious ideology that Black people must empower themselves.  However as a Jew, and also as a personal post-racialist (I am post-racial, not our society however), I am appalled at the casual way that Dr. Muhammad, as well as many of the Black attendees in the audience, engage in anti-semitic rhetoric. It is absolutely ridiculous how they outright refuse to acknowledge any good qualities whatsoever in regards to Judaism and the Jews. It completely defies logic.

Although this segment aired over 20 years ago, and times have in fact changed…for the better it seems, two many Jews still believe that Black leaders and the Black community in general harbor anti-semitic sentiments. Compound that with the fact that many of the Black people on that segment appear to be Muslim (or at least sympathetic to the Muslim cause), and anti-semitism also grips a good part of the Muslim community. My sister is Muslim, so its not like I’m unattached to the community an its sentiments. To be fair, most Muslims that I know don’t even talk about Jews. However I have heard some terrible name-calling and stereotypes on occasion. In just about every instance, I was able to offer a correction or just simply come to the defense of Jews…and the incident would end right there.

Outside of religious and political differences, what gets me is the fact that Black people with anti-semitic sentiments seem to have directed their focus and energies in the wrong direction completely. In spite of whatever conspiracies there are out there about Jews controlling the world, they are still only 0.19% of the world’s population. American Jews have more readily come to the aid and assistance of American Blacks on a more consistent basis than any other Euro-American ethnic group. Large and by far, Jewish and Israeli leadership have had much less in terms of institutionalized racism than their Christian and Muslim counterparts.

I am far from being an expert on sociology and economics, but my take is that instead of berating the Jews, Black people should instead try to learn from them. I’m not saying that the Jewish community is blameless and needs to be put on a pedestal. Rather I am suggesting that Black people, or any people for that matter, draw from the collective strength and shared knowledge that is available in America due to our diversity and free society. Criticism and finger-pointing over injustice and suffering does little good in the long run. Instead focus on mutual respect; which will hopefully lay the foundation for shared understanding and empathy.

As a Black Jew, I look forward to a continued effort of all Black Americans (Christian, Muslim, & other) to improve their stance and community. And I look forward to this happening without playing the blame game and perpetuating ugly stereotypes against others (White people included).

A friend posted this video on her Facebook timeline, remarking “Now that’s real talent!” Without a doubt, both Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis, Jr. were world class entertainers. However I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of offense; in that seeing two grown Black men tap dancing is just a little too reminiscent of a minstrel show to me.

I began to wonder if I was being too sensitive perhaps. Well I found the following quote in this article:

In the 1930s, tap dancers like Bill “Bojangles” Robinson charmed audiences in vaudeville theaters and at the movies. But many dancers who wanted to perform in front of white audiences, live or in the movies, had to play to racial stereotypes, and many of the recorded performances that survive from that era reflect that. By the 1960s, many black Americans considered tap offensive.

(Yet another sign that I was born in the wrong era )

Many moons ago, I used to take dance lessons in ballet, jazz, gymnastics and tap. I definitely appreciate the skill involved in tap dancing as well as its appeal (few things are cooler to little girls than a new pair of tap shoes). But tap  dancing’s roots go back to the Black American minstrel show of the 19th century. Of course today, no one thinks of that when they sign their little girls (& boys…maybe) up for dance class in a multi-racial environment. And rightfully so. There is nothing wrong with reinventing something….taking something old and making it into an entirely different art form. But people still have their own prerogative in regards to how they choose to view the art form….”new & improved” or not.

Modern day Black American culture struggles with this everywhere; and as a Black American, it is truly exhausting having to really think and form opinions about where you stand in regards to all of it. The word “nigger”; wearing long, straight weaves and light colored contacts, the right to speak in Ebonics, etc., etc. Not to mention the fine line of Black people poking fun at ourselves and “our ways”….and other, non-Blacks doing it, but then going “too far”.

In the end, I want people to be recognized for being talented…no matter what their race may be. That would be ideal. But we all know that’s not the reality. Instead your race is bundled up with what you can do and presented as an intertwined package. People may no longer do a double take at seeing a White rapper, but they will at seeing a young, dark-skinned Black child playing the violin. So while I feel a bit guilty at getting rustled at seeing grown Black men tap dancing; in the same vain, I wonder why there is not a White counterpart to Savion Glover?

However it is hard for me to say that Pinterest is a key tool in my own personal social media arsenal. While some would argue that Pinterest is social simply because 80% of pins are repins of content posted by someone else, thus creating a sense of community & connection. However I do not see user pages on Pinterest to be personal enough to feel like I really know someone and can have an ongoing connection. It’s just a collection of web images that a person likes; like a digital scrapbook or wall of posters.

Since I’m not such a big “visual” person, I feel that Tumblr holds a lot of advantages over Pinterest; although the media is hyper-focused on the latter. Yet there is a demand and a place for Pinterest. I compare it to the magazine industry. You have those magazines that are very dense textually, with a lot of information included (like Linux Magazine), while you have others that are full of big, gorgeous photos and little text (like The Source). They all work because every magazine knows who their target demographic is (or should know), and then packages their presentation accordingly.

So do you need to be on Pinterest? Well that decision is something that needs to be made on a case-by-case basis. However, here’s my list of pros and cons — and hopefully, that will be helpful.

Pros:

1.  Quick and easy account set up. While you still need an invite to open an account (just request one, and you’ll probably get in shortly), once you are in, you simply import friends, and then start pinning. No need to complete a long and drawn out profile. Your account comes with default boards set up. So you can be set up and pinning in about 5 minutes.

2. Highly visual, so it is conducive to attracting interest for short attention spans. The online world is very competitive, and the surest way to get people’s attention online is to post a picture. Since that is exactly what Pinterest is focused on, there is a lot of opportunity out there to make a splash.

3. Easy exposure. I’m not sure about the how’s and why’s, but it seems ridiculously easy to get followers and people to repin and spread your content. Many of my pins are liked and repinned at least 3 times in the first hour of me posting them. This is far more engagement than I’ve seen on any other social media platform.

Cons:

1.  It’s limiting. For better or for worse, Pinterest publicizes images…and that’s pretty much it. It is sort of like one big page of advertisements; and has the potential to turn into something very annoying as it becomes more popular.

2. The bar can be set high for photographs. Maybe it is just me, but the de facto images on Pinterest seem to be very high quality. This causes me to pause before uploading any of my own personal photographs. Also my audience on Pinterest is not a personal one; so I wouldn’t feel that it is the right medium for personal pictures anyway.

3. Connections can be fleeting. Your Pinterest homepage is a big collage of images. While the original poster’s name and icon are there, but along with the comments, they are minimized in order to maximize the impact of the images. Also they are presented chronologically. So it’s hard to consistently connect certain images with particular posters. In addition, when you ‘follow’ someone on Pinterest, you are really following their likes. Outside of commenting and sharing content, it is tough to engage with other people on Pinterest. It is more like an exhibition than a conversation basically.

4. Demographics. 68% – 82% of Pinterest users are women (depending on who you talk to). This could be very good…or very bad. Overall though, I think it’s a challenge to go onto a site knowing that the vast majority of your traffic will be 35+ year-old females.

I know for sure that people will disagree with me. Feel free to offer your comments if you do!

But my co-worker still marveled at how this was possible. After all, I was born into a low-income environment to a teenage mother. My birth parents did not raise me (although they most definitely didn’t abandon me). I moved around a lot from place to place, making childhood friendships fleeting. I had (have?) major self-esteem issues. And yet, I face the work with a generally positive outlook. That tomorrow will bring a better day or at least another chance to make things better. Why is this? Why do I not let my depressing life situation get to me?

Well there are several reasons for this in my humble opinion. For starters, I came close to losing my life altogether. Even a life wrought with problems and pain means more to me than having no life at all. Whenever I start feeling down about my life situation, I focus on the last thing (or things) that made me really happy…then double-back and appreciate that if I had no life at all, then I could not have those moments of happiness. And no life can be filled 100% with happiness, so I have to accept the troubles as well.

The next reason stems from the survivalist nature of the Black American culture that I was brought up in. While it’s not universal, in the world I grew up in we may have been poor and had less than ideal social situations, but we sure weren’t alone in our troubles. Growing up I saw plenty of other people being raised by single mothers and grandparents. I saw people being evicted and having their cars repossessed. I also saw much more sinister things such as drug use, crime, domestic violence and the like.

My mother has said, “Black people don’t have time to be depressed.” Now we all know that yes, Black people can and do suffer from depression…so it’s not like she’s speaking any literal truth. But what she is trying to convey is that our lives are just hard by default. For better or for worse, we are used to it. So when it helps put other things into perspective. Things like money worries or your child not getting into college.

And the last major reason as to why I face each day with hope is my view of my purpose and of G-d’s plan for me. You see, I don’t think that the world exists to serve me. Rather I believe that G-d created this world for me to enjoy it, yet the best way for me to do so is to interact and contribute to his creation as well. For example, when I go shopping, I can very well spend all of my money on things for myself. But I don’t. Instead I also buy things for my BF, my sisters, etc. Similarly, that is how you have to view life. Learn how to make giving and contributing a joy. That way, you are not so devastated when things don’t go your way. Because just because they aren’t going your way, doesn’t mean that things aren’t going someone else’s way. For example, as a parent, you might hate your child’s love interest. However, your child is happy and just because your expectations aren’t being met, doesn’t mean that theirs are not being met.

All in all I was really flattered that my co-worker decided to point out my positive outlook on life. It really is quite a high compliment!