Riveryog, 旎宫嘉坊

life on watching, love brewing.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 10:58:00 -0700

these days baby played less games on pc, but watching more animation online, and tv show. he asked me to find more games takes the formula of quiz show. i tried but harvest less.

yesterday baby insisted i watching a piece of animation, in which a robot of a little boy offered him a robot lover, for he had problem to attract real world girl friend. i sensed evils around troubled my baby with abnormal love or passions. i myself also troubled by hard core gays in office.God, my dearest dad, once shown me when i was a collegian what a normal same sex friend looks like, and this time is time for me to show my baby what's genius friendship differs from twist emotion. i told baby what's my view on gay and lesbian, what's love of God, which is the most selfless love and never expels the most pour love between lovers or spouse. ema attended aside but don't prevent my preach, but left earlier. i know its hard for human not to mess up when 2 same sex persons live closely attached, even like dad&son, for men lives to be the only and independent, but i trust God no problem not to blur his only Mightiest and most Sainted when i can do something aside baby son when he needs cares and attendance for his childhood. i trust God no problem that i can live with my baby as long as i need, and when the trinity asks.

its a bright afternoon now. yesterday the 2 gays facing&backing my desk conspired and operated behind me when i reading on my notebook, to hurt my neck. my neck since then painful till last night sleep heels. i again exhausted last night and even this morning i felt too sleepy to leave ema's house. i dozed till 10 pm to get up. the grandma came over and brought baby outside. baby these days more or less infected by evil spying eyes upon abnormal passionate or love, that resulted in my spending more time to heal baby's being stained and divined him again.

its really a nice moment now. i just installed new games got in the morning on our legend pc for baby uses, and updated our google picasa web album with new shots i made recently. dog in China surveillance blocked quite some google's service, like youtube, picasaweb, but they only let domestic access to my picasaweb album problematically, but don't intimidate me not to try ways to update my account there. here is the proof.

Ok, my dearest girls, here i will retreat to silence again. my restless craving for u never cease or fade. hold me tighter, baby, not let time wash out our love. hold my love in real and walk toward our ever brighter grand gathering. we had a long time to live together, under one roof and in one family.

God bless us. took it sincerely.

cloudy sky over the city of Qiqihar.

cranes and trees in baby's mother's house's backyard.

forest in south park near ema's house.

sun ray among clouds.

baby son, warren zhu, with his new school bag.

a swallow rests on the rim of my office window.

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a chat between benzrad, me, and my senior middle school alumni, also some middle class in my hometown, central China.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:07:00 -0700

校友群 2009-08-18 16:37:15

张和协，你再贴我的条，我就把你买来打折处理

校友群 2009-08-18 16:54:04

呵呵，他贴你么事条呀

校友群 2009-08-18 17:08:45

QQ抢车位

校友群 2009-08-18 17:12:02

http://edongwanbao.blog.sohu.com/

校友群 2009-08-18 17:12:21

看看黄冈市法院是多么黑

王飞舟(410230117) 2009-08-18 17:12:59

那是你们政府的事，与我们无关，敬告：勿谈国事

校友群 2009-08-18 17:57:29

一杯可乐两元钱，肯德基里卖六元
一个土豆砌成条，做成薯条又七元
两块面包一块肉，夹成汉堡卖几元？
外商赚钱不算少，地震捐款捐多少？
不捐难赚中国钱，磨磨噌蹭捐一点。
哪有民族企业猛，患难之下见分晓
不见经传王老吉，一捐就捐一个亿
奇瑞一辆三万块，捐款一千六百万
本田年销千万辆，捐款才捐二十万
兄弟姐妹醒一醒，一脉相连血肉情
食品饮料日用品，国产不比洋货差
中华儿女一家人，民族振兴靠国人
各位朋友转一转，莫枉做个中国人
如果你是中国人，请转发你所有的中国群
法国宣布，禁止进口中国产的花生米，椅子和鞋类。
法网民煽动抵制中国货，称中国损失远超法国
法国网民已经开始有动作了
美国网民已经抵制中国了
日本也停止进口中国产品了
中国网民那么多，天天等着外国主动抵制我们而我们袖手旁观吗？
我们还等什么？
我们中国

校友群 2009-08-18 17:57:29

网民还能做什么？动动鼠标难道比法国人反抗中国难吗？
网民你还等什么？
难道还要等到像日本占领东三省一样？？
同胞们，行动，发动你身边的每一个人，
这次可是动真格的了，是中国人的就转

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:05:13

老王还信这些?wto,贸易自由化白进了.小家子气那么重干啥?

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:08:32

东三省经历日本统治,难道真的那么糟糕吗?gcd的炮火还不止那里来的.台湾的"海角七号"可以看出生活在不同的统治者下的连续.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:10:16

中国制造轰轰烈烈这么多年,不是美国消费者买单,中国还不知道落后几重天.

叶子惠(468237768) 2009-08-18 18:11:46

八戒你去国外比较合适哎

校友群 2009-08-18 18:12:02

悲哀，我们遇到大师了

叶子惠(468237768) 2009-08-18 18:12:19

王可宇呵呵可好？

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:11:04

中国何能何德几十年内飞速发展?最关键的技术积累哪里来的?

校友群 2009-08-18 18:12:40

你怎么长大的？

叶子惠(46827768) 2009-08-18 18:12:43

我都感觉八戒怎么像是被洗脑了

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:12:41

我就知道明朝的中国领先世界几十年也没弄出个响来,你今天的网络或手机,全球神经,那里来的

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:14:03

君子喻于义,小人喻于利.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:14:43

中国人动不动摆牛逼,只能自挖墙角

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:15:46

一句话,有本事再改革开放回去.

叶子惠(468921768) 2009-08-18 18:18:07

八戒你咋了受刺激了？

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:17:31

我看见小人就来气.

叶子惠(4682127768) 2009-08-18 18:19:04

谁是小人啊

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:18:22

那小钱小巧厄人的.

叶子惠(421927768) 2009-08-18 18:20:12

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:19:36

大和至上. 用马克思的话,存在的必然合理.看不到中国跟世界的紧密联系,动辄厄人,这是恐怖分子的惯技.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:25:43

要论孤立,清朝干得最好,自取其辱的就是入侵或挨打.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:26:32

水要六,风要吹,逆势的,上帝不耐.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:30:33

可宇没看最近的网评吗,有想在故宫里开麦当劳还是星巴克的,中国不让,理由是国脸,结果,现在那里开面条馆,30元一碗.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:31:08

这是真事.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:33:07

中国的问题,最大的问题,就是官太多,啥都要管,因为管是他们的饭碗.中国的人吃人,五千年了,从孔子始.孔教孔教,就是恐教.

benzrad[570503557] 2009-08-18 18:53:46

对不起,我这里的发言自觉精彩,我要发到我的博客.各位真名我隐去.请多关照.

ps: tried to post this item with some photos i shot recent with my first DC, but China surveillance heavily blocking and failed me many times to post photos.

drizzled morning outside of my office.

a tablet memorizing the lost lives in anti-Japanese war.

the park in sunset.

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life meaningful under burden

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:01:00 -0700

nearly a month passed since my return. i had great time with my baby son, warren zhu, hope of China and God of universe. my office Internet connection was rid off and i had to stay idle when i was there. at home, the Internet within China mainland also fatally deteriorated, ip and keyword filtering failed most web proxies available in search result. life in China mainland just like in a riot, all things in temporary and transission. hope is all of Chinese in mainland hold full hearted, and enduring of time is a test between the dictation nowadays and perished common social lives. i definitely see the collapse of the dying China political and social architecture.

my life orbits again in a tight loop, between office and my baby's mother's home. i tried hard to live with silence in worktime in office, and admit it can be a beneficial habit, but i really enjoy cyberspace activities. common people, like most of my colleagues, can be dishonest and blacken eyed by the presure of authority's favor or dislike. one of them, namely, my monitor in my office, claimed its rightous that i can't use office Internet now that my home pc connected with Interent, while his pc and all other colleagues' computer all wired and reading novel or watching tv online all days is mainly his activities online. they regard they r superior than me, really cluelessly!

this week can be fruitful. in reading twitter stream after broke China surveillance, i got an idea from peer's id, that i should own an id IIDChina. first i think idchina is OK, but in the process of claiming i gradually chose IIDChina. i soon claimed it from google, where i can only got an alternative for namespace conflict. i tried to expand the name to twitter and facebook, which both deadly blocked within China mainland for months. China surveillance, with its most advanced technology and heaviest investments, now can be fatal to web traffic inland reaching freedom world. i tried lots of proxies, including risky ones, all failed. only with the help of friends abroad, i got my facabook id and twitter's in the title of IIDChina. customization unfinished for access to the sites via proxies severely compromised and lots of operation only led to errs or vain. i also wrote a wiki item on google knol but the next day it was flagged inappropriate and hide from public view. after checked from friends abroad, i assured its google banned it, not google china, which frequent under China authority's harass and had to adopt tighter filtering. now i just doubting if google read it and flagged unproper, or China surveillance reported it online frequently via onsite report function and led google's system automatic or semi-automitic earmarked on my knol.yesterday i designed it a unique logo when i felt flat in office, i like it very much, so does my baby son, who shares the title. God sees my way toward a better and righ world in the shine and shrine of Holy.

facebook, twitter, blogger, picasaweb, and yesterday i found yahoo profiles, these sites' been blocked in China mainland heavily troubled Chinese surfers, and again remind them how barren the China landscape of produce of voice or content. China dying in aridity since the fall of Ming Dynasty, and continued suffering sacrifice with the tasteless and tomb berthed dictator then and now.

Ok, its time for break. i know the coming gathering of my love, while the dark of China to been blow apart, shift and gone. i know my new marriage scheduled and my fiancee already in her wedding dress. yes, i received my God's notice, i received the omen in red.

logo of site IIDChina, at http://facebook.com/iidchina ,or http://groups.google.com/group/iidchina .

beautiful sunset in Qiqihar, near Autumn.

colorful clouds near dusk in Qiqihar, China. its near Lunar Autumn.

dearest baby son, warren zhu, Hope of China, God of universe, ate corn cake in Holyland bread shop.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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holy stream, holy moment of baptism in Lun river.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 09:01:00 -0700

ema suggested to haunt Lun River after all her pupils left. i hesitated but couldn't let baby alone. so we together launched. in the river baby really had a good time! he enjoyed the water so much! i kept on shot. neighbors likely including some evils and dogs surveillance us. one of 2 men babbled and claimed too brutal, just let us know. God sees the beautiful scene!

for youtube banned in China for a long time, i had found other video hosting site to post my video of baby playing in the river. so i found vimeo, and registered some family frequent accounts. but this moment access to it unstable, China surveillance likely dog chasing after us and ruin any way i can make use of. however, this video is available, as vimeo email to report me this message.

the dark over China Internet sky really sick and thick nowadays. i bet its resolved with the collapse of dictation in China, the dogged land and my vested kingdom from God and my ancestor.

view our happy moment with water in Lun river of Heilongjiang, a tour of an hour bus from ema's house, aside the city of Qiqihar.

the same movie hosted on flickr, shorten for the site's limit on length of movie.

http://www.flickr.com/apps/video/stewart.swf?v=71377

http://picasaweb.google.com/benzillar/NewTrackAfterReunited#5364025922584177570

http://picasaweb.google.com/benzillar/NewTrackAfterReunited#5364024672350407250

visit recent album including our happy time in Lun river, at google:

http://picasaweb.google.com/benzillar/NewTrackAfterReunited

bye, all my beloved, time left for us is bounty while words between us is peculiar. join me my beloved, sooner the better.

1 of 3

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normal life on the track again, but its different.

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:59:00 -0700

its had been almost a week since i arrived my baby's mother's home. past week sees the pleasure between our reunion.baby ride on my shoulders for several times and liked it. we saw some children outside and in most cases i felt baby proud of his dad's presence. baby also asked to buy some food and toy from the evil shop within the south garden, where in my second time backward i had dispute with it and was sent to my hometown. lots of people i don't felt familiar, but essentially old time returned. violence deeply rooted in the environment my Royal seats, that really affect some members of my family, like ema, my mother,etc. black dog constantly barking upon wrong trees. God sees their poor plots and vain of their dirty wish to trap my family. God sees glory of his son's Royal and untouchable purity of pride and proud of my Royal.

its my first day in office of QRRS, my once and long time employer, also a old style state-owned enterprise. evils still jammed in office on the same floor. i dozed awhile amid the demons. in the past week, i mainly migrating stuff i got in vacation on my notebook to dvds, but also surfed some time. the Internet situation even worse here than that in my hometown. facebook was blocked, so did picasaweb, twitter, youtube, to name a few. most disgusts me is the blocking of picasaweb, for its dispensable for my first camera, a best gift from Masheng, my Japanese fiancee. i also felt flat while China surveillance banned most of domestic twitter copycats, like fanfou, jiwai, with which my family had accounts. the dictator of China really wrecked in fear of public and rapid communication, like twitter or microblog tools.

the tour of returning to Qiqihar is interesting. the Harbin railway station was shabby, the process of re-assign a seat for my ticket whose route was missed by delay of its previous route, cost me near 3 hours. quite some collegians there made unlawful transition on ticket, including quite some Uyer. i finally lost my temper and sneer at a sick minded collegian. in the waiting hall i encountered a female receptor and God shown me a lot that i is the chosen. i was in deep proud and roamed there for more than 2 hours till sleepiness drove me to the queue for boarding. there after finding a seat, i at once felt into sleep. even after about 20 minutes doze, i recharged a lot. when i woke up, i found a tall girl which at once remind me of my girl zhou. but she is too slim and i decided its not what i pray for. after aboard, she seats just behind me. but i again dozed. just a stop at Daqing station, the tall girl missing, likely left the train at the station. i soon attracted by a girl nearby, an athlete training school student. but the facing seats, 2 dogs, heavily challenged me and interfering my communication with the girl student, so i concentrated to kill the dogs. in the night i was woke up by the threats targeting my baby son, and shit according God's guide. God laughs toward all conspire aiming to trap my Royal's untouchable proud and pride.

its a peaceful morning in office. the evils in the office both left. i see God in every photon and every leaves outside of the window. i can't figure out what its like my life here after the fruitful hometown journey, but God surely knows my life in bliss approaching the gathering of my beloved, like Masheng, girl zhou, Taiwan girl, girl lü, girl Jiang, and my Empire emerging.

treat for reunited.leaving the restaurant.

sunrise among morning fog.

Yangzi river was passing by.

leaving Wuhan, the city seemingly always in refurnishment.

Sent from 齐齐哈尔市, 黑龙江省, 中国

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dad's rage

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:53:00 -0700

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey

a childhood pal, now hostile to me.

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey

befriended villagers.

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey

my childhood pal, once glass ball game champion.

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey

our mountain, mostly hided by the evil dark house.

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey

benzrad, me, in a pose, with a fly near my left eye brow.

it all started when i sang in front yard of my past dad, God's old house against threaten of violence. my mother, now turns clear, a life time spy and betrayal of my family, and dark witch chaser, evilly sat in the door facing the evil dark house owner's room just in front of my dad's house. i sang for my girls, but the profaning from my mother and the evil dark house owner turns intensively challenged me. in the last fight, my mother gave up and retreated to house. i sat there in the front yard in solitary. i felt God never let me do anything i dislike, and more important, the pure glory of my Royal forever untouchable. i reviewed my turning stronger missing for my baby, and decided its time to reunite with my baby and his mother. so i at once informed ema and our baby son about my decision in front yard in sunset. ema in doubt as usual, suggesting me later to return. but my girls, in holy message let me know its right to leave the evil land.

in the coming days i more and more see through the dark on my mother, and my past dad's struggle with the nearby enemies of his Empire. i got clearly the evils of the neighbors exerted on my old dad before his past by. my mother never belong to my dad, she lived in her family name, Hu, the same of current China's President. she lives lifetime in dark, in chase of her taste of ugly things and dark witch. she ruined most of my dad's children, let them abnormal, except my elder sister, my past eldest sister in her prime time, my kid brother and me. my kid brother still in missing road toward union with my dad, but this moment he is wrong. my mother don't love me, too. she in fact only love herself. in my life she exerted lots of obstacles just prevent my insight of her evils. she humiliated my family a lot with her foolish and selfish behaviors.

the neighbors' evil also gradually turn clear to me. the most ugly that needs action is the front and behind house owner, one is called Zhu zhongcai,朱中才, the back neighbor, and the dark house owner, a former slave before the new public. they spy my dad, God's life for decades, trying mimic the holy spirit, just in aim to hurt my dad. the dark house owner is also a freak, a rapist, with which my mother more and more turned into his victim. Zhu zhongcai once was a elementary school teacher in the darkest period of China under abnormal mao's influence. he claimed my name has problem and my parents changed my name accordingly. now his grandsons all steal name space from my family. for example, among the villagers, seldom has the mid name like mine, 子(in English,son), but his 2 grandsons all adopt it from mine. even worse, the second grandson steal one of my dad's name, 明, the second Dynasty of Zhu's. they openly profaned the holy, and risk to see if we kill.

now its kill time. my mother died in lack of blood, or anemia. she shouldn't bury with my dad, God. zhu zhongcai's family, including all his family, and the family of his 2 brothers, die soon in their burning house. the dark house owner, the evil still spying, dies in the ruin of his house and by hits of flocks of falling stones, both in desert, let dog and flies and mouse to lick. his offspring all died in the same way. their house all vanished and our mountains of my dad stand again in front of us.

the another back neighbor, the elder son of my past uncle and his evil family, esp. his fat and abnormal wife in family name zheng, die now. his fat wife died in water prison, die of cold and dark. himself and his sons and his larger family alive, die of infection of mad dog, or rabies. some die of rotten blood, or sepsis.

its my order of kill. i m leaving the land evil prevails, and abnormal or distort rampant. the land will be clear and clean after wiping ordered here, and my dad's glory manifests clearer in the sky and in the air, on his land.

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bright days after thunderstorm and rain period

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 14:14:00 -0700

neighbors watched pc game on my notebook.

early full moon.

these days see happier villagers here in my hometown. i also enjoy the crisp air and dry burning sunshine.but not all things went in my favor, like last dusk, the insane nephew, the only son of my eldest brother, occupied the front yard of my past dad's old house and there pretending reading on his cellphone. the neighbor girl, who was refuted by me several times when attempting using my notebook to surf, also join him and giggling a lot. i had to evade the dirt and roam in narrow back yard of my dad's house. the neighbor in back yard was a shabby copycat of my dad, and long time stealing my dad's life teaching and brewing hostile against my old family. so r the conjunction neighbors, all watching my stride there and guessed what i will bent to call to chat. i didn't chat to anybody but found the almost full moon very bright in early night sky. so i took some photos for it. some of them quite satisfying. in the night i again worked till 10:30 pm before went to bed, after some time felt sleepy.

recent morning i often felt sleepy, so seldom worked outdoor in the morning. this morning i started to work late after breakfast. but today sees lots of next generations in the village visiting my dad's house. the neighbor boy, a grandson of the evil dark house owner, who had frequent here, and 2 grandsons of my past uncle. they watched and tried games on my notebook.

its a nice day, esp. mother cooked a jar of meat for dinner. i enjoy it alone, get rid of the insane nephew, in our back yard.i admire the plenty of meat in citizen life. however, i more enjoy the fresh vegetable from this fertile land.

OK, this the end of my babble this time. i miss u, all my girls, very much. in fact, i m a bit sorry for i longing for u so long a time. God sees our fate and future of Joice in coming years.

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girl zhou, i m sorry for claiming "zhou fell" in my hardest time in this forum back to 2007.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:01:00 -0700

i grand u never fell and forever proud and gifted. i grant u my Queen in crown, the same of Masheng. i grant u the third wife of mine. i grant God cares u and holy spirit in u.
i grant u r one of mine.

come and join me, sooner the better. i need u, as well as all my beloved, my girls that praying for me. original post at https://groups.google.com/group/benzyrnill/browse_thread/thread/d5982af70421ef3c https://groups.google.com/group/benzyrnill/t/c18d667046d7a571

look the site i claimed for u: http://zhou.be21zh.org or http://sites.google.com/site/gozhou .it just waiting for u to cultivate it.

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a sleepless night for all my girls. allow Jiangyue join me from now on.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:35:00 -0700

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey

yesterday i finally got all family facebook's vanity profile urls, after a previous day's hot waiting and vain. it rained when i busy with getting enough mobiles to pass the verification a new vanity url demands. in the night i tried to join a chatroom to get more fans to my family pages in exchange i become fans to more pages i never heard in the aim to pass the limit facebook set to allow a page's vanity url. then my eldest brother knocked our door and sent us 2 slices of water melon. i went to bed eariler than usual, but a dream woke me up in mid night and stay me awoke almost all night. i dreamed of a newly got well being guy suggesting travel countryside with his car. then in a sex course woke me up i found the feeling of ema, my baby son's mother, and my own, upon sex. i got view that faith in God is in fact the longest and most passionate sex the faith owner can get. and his gifted beloved blessed with the longest and most peaceful, the most harmonious sex pleasures, the only lasting warmth in men&women's life. faith grant believers the longest and lasting warmth fails age and rigidity/mediocrity age brings. its started raining since then. how i love the rain, which always remind me of the warmth of house, mutual cares in homes when no other distractions but just gathering rain brings. i gradually reviewed all my love with my girls, esp. Lü and Masheng, for who i most looking forward to join me and care my life together. from girl Lü i started to review the girl Jiangyue, a once student of ema and got ema's tutor together with girl Lü at ema's house. i previously felt girl Jiangyue might belongs to my baby son, for in the end of the tutuor and in a occasion baby chosen her while i more satisfied by the competent girl Lü. no, i got wrong, this moment i made clear, after the drizzle and a shit release in the mid of this blogging, and worry about the security and frustrating of girl Jiangyue upon my missing love to her. i made clear Jiangyue belongs to my Royal and IS my wife. my God had and forever cares her, including her growth and career's independence, as well as self-realization. i made clear my baby son's uniting with girl(s) in family name "Jiang", can be quite late, all in God's setting which forever the best. i made clear girl Jiangyue can join me any time, and can live with my together from now on.

its a hard night for i can't sleep. i also reviewed the nighbor wives' foolish admire toward me. none of them can partake my love, nor even my warmth of faith. i belongs to the world, not the residents now in Zhudajiu, my hometown village and my past dad's sovereign.my love for my beloved girls never shake nor lapse. my love blesses all my girls with eternal and happy life. my love brings them harmony of sex we never forget nor discontent.

its a nice week, for those i got from the cyberspace, except this morning. in some flash message i worry about girl Jiangyue's falling to hopelessness, but now i felt better. God constantly cares all my beloved, all girls can join my life to share the faith for God, and my Royal to mandate the world belongs to us.

ok, now time to bye. thanks God, Jiangyue, i never miss ur love again. i took u now. follow me and join me as soon as u can. i love u.

it resumes to drizzle now, just when i prepared to wire to the net. God, save me, save my all girls need me. forever and never seen glory to u!!!

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shit China surveillance, failed lots of proxy, including freedur

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 08:26:00 -0700

i tried lots of web proxies. my newly created blogger blog shown me admin but the blogger management panel don't give me admin privilege, not allowing me to invite authors. i don't' why why it is, all my old blogs all defying my inviting authors function after i logon blogger.com via a web proxy and the only working one. they broke into my web id long time, and i not sure if they stealth my admin privilege and cheat the site not to allow my admin privilege while shown me as admin on the page, or just the web proxy confused blogger.com's admin system.

later i resort to freedur, which enjoy good fame among Chinese users under China tighten surveillance these days. but i can only access blogger.com homepage once, after i submit my login detail, my traffic again fell into mute.i sometimes casually open a blog's homepage, and shown i logon for the page shown edit link to allow me open editing widget window, but thats' all, any attempts to open the setting page of my blogs indifferently went lost.

shit the China surveillance. they acted like can't wait time anymore to spent out their only time before their total collapse. surely they saw their hells.

however, i got my blogs on blogger.com for my left baby bird, they r http://birdous.blogspot.com and http://birdnus.blogspot.com . i also claimed a blog for my web id benzrad, at http://benzrad.blogspot.com .thx God, i recent paid more attention to my baby&myself Chinese Pinyin name, and even blogger's user so large a group, i got our blogs in exact Chinese name or my coined name without any deter. they r http://zhuchujia.blogspot.com http://warrenzhu.blogspot.com ,mine http://benzrad.blogspot.com .with these beautiful namespace, i felt really bounty of God's gift for my Royal of China under his shine.

fairway, China surveillance and shits Internet cop/dog. my kingdom doomed to grow and blow, ur destiny of tomb near and near. u pick fall. i endorsed with rising.

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a great week.

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:27:00 -0700

my work of designing nephew an avatar or logo,

at http://626895145.qzone.qq.com

my breakfast in mid of my morning work. mother cooked for me these days.

this week really busy. it started with a landrush for facebook's vanity url claiming. i got up unusually around 5 am and waited for the moment the site allow my claiming my frequent web id. when all ready, i finished it within several minutes, with several kind of browsers open and several family facebook accounts logged on.to some disappointing, i got known that some family facebook accounts i recent built, not allowed to register their favorable name in its url, and later via search i got known on 28th of this month, i will get it. in the night in daily discuss with baby and his mom in Qiqihar, northeastern China, i told them the great news of their vanity urls, but they didn't applaud as i expect. baby still don't want talk to me and banned his mom doing so.

then the next day launched to retouch family twitter background image to include new facebook profile url. that merely cost me a day to design and update twitter sites with the outcome. coming next is to add facebook connect, now with more family facebook profiles, to family genwi newspapers, to improve its universal log in and richer publication sources. i did the same later to family retaggr accounts. in the afternoon. the nephew who just came over his national college entrance exam, visited me, i picked his once ask for a avatar like mine, with powerful warez i collected from web, i demonstrated him and finished the work after near 3 hours. in the night, i suddenly felt the decision to add Chinese domestic mailbox into alternative secure mailbox among my google accounts was wrong, for China surveillance anytime can break into any account with domestic ISPs, obtain all credentials u registered, ruin ur account at will, so its wiser to cut off all my google and yahoo accounts' sharing detain with Chinese ISPs. that cost me more than a day, and this morning, when i sorted my bookmarks locally, i felt time to make clear family googlepages sites ripes. so i launched to check every family google account to make full use of them to claiming more googlepages. google decided migrating googlepages to its sites product, and stop all googlepages' registry. but account already open a googlepages can continue create no more than 3 sites in one gmail account. its really a joy to enrich my domains with these new sites.

ok, its my recent works, its turning sultry these days after enough rain and clouds. i really appreciate the weather since my arrival in my hometown journey. i rightly look forward re-experience the heat and moist here in central China where i was bred, i look forward more direct contacts with the stinging sunshine, my best gift and one of most powerful tool of Masheng, my Japanese fiancee.

these days in a turbulence of site building, i seldom talk with Masheng, nor girl lÜ in her 2 days' rains. i also don't sing after dinner as usual. the neighbor wives upset me. and hostile neighbors got me low.

ok, its time to bye.i hope its not a long time before i kiss my baby son again. i hope we can enjoy more and more in the coming years.

a busy week, nephew returned from college entrance exam&join cyberlife here.

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:26:00 -0700

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey

the Chicken sex changer, a demon my mother attempted to treat

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey

my mother in breakfast.

its nice cool morning. last night i really painful when i dreamed of the suffering of my baby and my Royal. i envisaged the dictator of China devised a conspire, let my alone spend at will while my expending all at cost of my family's fixed income. if i eat and play well,then they suffered lost and pain. the authority surveillance it and only me don't know the plot. the imaging i saw many times in my distressed time before fall into asylum, i never afford to see my Royal suffering, and that let me fight on 2 front lines and broke me apart several times. it drizzled since dusk just after i visited toilet and sat in the front yard of my dad's house and started to sing. it lasted when i busy in night to claiming myself another facebook account, benzillar land. i decided in dream that return to Qiqihar to care baby soon after it turns daytime. but after woke up the anxiety decreased and my faith in the Mightiest God resumes. i know that God wouldn't let my Royal under his shine suffer the evils the demon in China exerts, God wouldn't let me in dark any more helplessly. if he want to alert me something, i can know but usually not great fear or distress. the most time of following God should be joy and peace.

its a nice morning now. i can anticipate some sunshine later. rain day really beautiful and let me productive. i know Masheng for whom i stayed here waiting for 4 months likes to introduce girl lǔ to me, let me review her love in the past years in the rain. the night before last night, i told baby my girls prepared villas in Taibei, Beijing, Shanghai, Wuhan, Nanjing, for our gathering to come. he giggled and likely his mother, ema, also listening. baby these days yet don't want to talk me online.

its a long road leading me to God's shine, but not a slow way to God. decided to follow God not always peaceful, sometimes it can rock/torn u out of track, like the several moments my heart torn by imagery dilemma in which my beloved&myself can't move or respond but just suffering pains of helplessness. they r all God's show on me before i find the way toward his door. God loves true love, and true lover. like the bible says, there is only spirit in the world. anything just a load of the spirit.

ok, its a nice morning to disclose my distress, and difference a faith in God brings. i always in need to declare, that i forever follow God, no matte how the seeing and delusion how can persuading my urgent action to save my beloved. i love God, the only creator of Universe and the Mightiest. glory forever belongs to him and never a devil can leave a smog on it. i never want to live in fear and unbalanced.

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a media reply

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 00:43:00 -0700

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey

My elemental school teacher, a villager, now a boss of concrete products.

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey

front door view of my past dad's house.

below is a reply i wrote on Jun 5, 2009, in answer of an inquiry from a site, ThisIsDiversity, about my some opinion on China surveillance. i glad to see emerging chance to be opener.

Doug Cress suggested that I contact you. My name is Julia Garrison and I am ThisIsDiversity's Special Features Reporter. I would love to learn more about your situation as a journalist in China: the topic of internet censorship is one that I find extremely problematic. It would be great to get your story on this highly debated issue so that I could write an article informing people around the world about what is happening in your country.

What kind of restrictions are placed on Journalists in China?

i m not a journalist, i worked once for a state-owned enterprise and work in its cable tv branch, designing heading and caption. i never got any promotion even i think my work was marvellous. gradually i got clear the invisible constrain cast on me. after a dispute with the director of the department, i got kicked from my professional position, instead i was assigned a job in the title of "temporary worker", one reason why i was not laid off was in China enterprises not encouraged to do so, but i think deeper review is that the state intelligent want to keep me in cage to observe. now i work full time on cyberspace, with my first domain, be21zh.org at http://www.be21zh.org , i got 3 years ago.

China has now 3 main portals in its Internet service. 2 built by returned Chinese graduate or post-graduate from American universities, ie. sina.com and sohu.com , in my view they offer nothing but exotic/vulgar news. another is built in Guangzhou, southern China, by a Chinese graduated within China. all of them in my view quite flat. they never die, unlike yahoo or those startups in US. they services, like email, blog, album, alumni, none deserve a compare with that of American isp, but never one can imagine their quit. for in China, most important is u granted to live by the authority, but not u r better survived.

there is no news in my view in China, for almost all medias belong to the state, and through state-owned enterprise and affiliate office to the government departments, most Chinese don't have the freedom of finding a alternative job in free job market, which only belong to peasants work temporarily in City to build or maintain the less bright part of the life of city(even in this market peasants were yet fined). anyone in mainland China lives in fear and insecure for their life and living decided by the higher cadre and finally the state, which in fact a dictator with a police mind set. in fact, in most common people's view, the journalist in China never enjoy the respect they should or does in freedom world, for most people know their job is a kind of brag of officer among Chinese social ladder. they work in boring and planned, and earn some additional money, like quite some positions in China society which breeds bribery rampant, from paid news, nothing creative or independent, nor respectable/responsive.

In your experience, how does the average Chinese citizen react to the restrictions placed on Journalists?

most Chinese just endured and waiting for a hitchhike toward a better politically architectured new China. they learned from generations that the leader and first out-standing risk most, they kept themselves distant from the bureaucrat which can profane and absorb any gifted mind, charging their life for thousand years in China history, with envy and hatred. and quite some part of the mob in Chinese society was bought by the ruling squad and live in abnormal psychological set and darkened belief. that likely why in China recent history they chose violence rather than God. they immersed themselves in the virtual potent from group or blood links, to evade the natural call of mercy upon unfair and bully and indifferent pervading in nowadays China mainland. in some gauge Chinese in mainland don't have average, the government these years spent a lot to buy services in rural area, in student group, in youth, with state resource to divide the previous wild hatred class. in some ways Chinese people in mainland now quite and only recognize the green paper, the money, that can improve their life a bit and only a bit, for any further plan unstable, just like the upper building and the doctrine, both based on disappearing smoke-alike clouds of lies.

What are the consequences of Journalists who speak out?

the government tighten the spread of news of its victims. quite some cases well-known were journalists in southern China media reporting death as result in government's failure got fired or separate in glass house of alien. there is no bone nor backbone at all in China journalists or journalism. punishment never disclosed. the afford from the victims and all invisible constrains cast on them, never can spread out to social commonsense nor turn clear. that's rightly the effect of terror the dictator want to exert.

Do you know of any journalists that have been censored by the Chinese Government?

first, there is very rare in Chinese licensed journalists who still had the self-responsibility for the right, for the independence. second, if there is standout, u don't know, for that forever their last struggle before their free fall into noname.

What kinds of bans or restrictions have been placed on internet use and what, if any, reasons does the government give for these restrictions?

every computer in Internet cafes within China mainland with their own watch dog, every web accessed equipments registered and under the surveillance, with their only id. if there is something clear in the dictating country like China mainland, that's the only one: everyone, men or thing, has its individual secret log, maintained and focused by the dog dominated country, with its ruling hand.

How do you get around the restrictions? Do you think China will change its policies?

years ago i tried proxy and sometimes work. but these days the technology adopted by China Internet cop more and more stronger and failed more and more proxies. the machine dog team boast its tech to apply for its bonus bone from the dog-minded dictator, so it wouldn't loose its reign, never, before their total collapse.

What is your goal for China regarding free speech?

i live in God's shine, and never worry the future of China in my best wish. God saves and only he has the final word. i live with peace in the view of the end of the dirty state power theft. they can be also included in God's set for China's march toward ONE World within he glads.

How does your faith in God relate to this goal?

i in depth belief of God, Christian God, i was educated from distress of love with a beautiful tall Chinese collegian. i was educated by spiritual ebook written by American. i know now i was chosen to follow my fate, to resume his glory, to resume my ancestor's glory, on this old land. i can be meaningless like a wind or breeze, i can be weighted as the highest monument people and people to arrive had to raise their heads to watch. i don't assert my deed in the world, but i assert i forever in shine.

How do the restrictions on journalists and internet censorship relate to the Tiananmen Square massacre that occurred on June 4, 1989?

u can google, which also under surveillance in China and bring less result page than u can. a google group at https://groups.google.com/group/fans i can mention, even quite trifle, but u can read complains and curses upon the surveillance and 6.4 special blockage, if u can read Chinese. even in the group, there is i guess spy from the state intelligent.

BTW, i want post this email to my blog, at http://benzillar.blogspot.com .i can delay posting after u make usage of it. i wait for ur response and do it before next Monday, in ur curtsy.

best wishes,

benzrad

benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org

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bright days.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:23:00 -0700

stream in front cannel of the village.

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey

duck family in front cannel stream of the village.

its has been near a week since my last post. in these week i customized my windows boot screen and

logon

interface, and tried to update baby's desktop in Qiqihar. i also fine tuned my family facebook accounts, adding openid service, fit logos of my groups and pages there. also i claimed new sites from google sites, ie. sites for my girl zhou, like http://sites.google.com/site/gozhous/ ,http://sites.google.com/site/godzhous/ ,for my baby's mother, ema, like http://sites.google.com/site/emagarton and http://sites.google.com/site/emagartom , i also fine tuned my family accounts at plaxo, adding logon with facebook connect, claimed family accounts at yahoo profiles, which substitutes old yahoo blog system yahoo 360. i also created a profile for my cyber enterprise, be21zh.org, in title bebazh, for facebook don't allow number in user name. i customized my family twitter accounts with new background images i designed, after learning from other twitters' background. for diigo refused updating my imported bookmarks for several months, i tried to create a new diigo account to import my local bookmarks again, but after some delay just after imported, it again lost my import and bookmarked nothing. i guess China surveillance likely controlled my all diigo accounts and locked them up. diigo is a Chinese enterprise based in US, while heavily rely its team in western China. anything u trust to Chinese in mainland would be a mistake, for mainland Chinese is mostly a betrayal, they born after cleanse too weak to be good. i direct message and also feedback via page to the company, but never got a reply.

the long drizzle days passed, which likely brought some drain to south China while the northern China suffered drought. i later realized that Masheng letting girl lǘ on duty. i quite enjoy the rains, even mostly i busy online and seldom talk with it. i love girl lǘ even i now can't figure out how is like when i live with her aside. the rainning days let me stayed all time at home and engaged till exhaust. now its a bright morning, its 2 or 3 days after the same weather. i enjoy working in the open air on my dad's front yard in bright light and breezes. its temperature really nice, to let u best fit. last dusk i realized that my broadband here was offered by Masheng, and she did company me all these days before i returned hometown. i beg Masheng sooner join me and take care of my life in garden, in her garden.

here China surveillance tighten rein with crazy, lots of sites blocked deadly, failed most web proxies. some sites accessible last day, like yahoo profiles, scribd.com, etc, with which i can draw a conclusion with safe that the ban list on China Internet gateway tailored for me, and the China Internet cop monitor my web activities and steal my web form submissions real time.

ok, its a bit wasteful to utter about the evil in China. God's day to cleanse it never changes. i look forward to my ancestor's fond over it can boost it better in coming world conflicts and starve.

here is my sites recently claimed.

on vodspot.tv:

zhuson, united US and China under God's shine

zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼

dajiuzh——朱大九走向世界

songdod, song for God, on and forever

beinzh, burning people in destructive nation gozhous, God over US and Japan and China

on google sites:

gozhus, shares God's shine between US and China

godzhous, God's love among nation of US, Japan, and China

godzhus, God shines over US and China

emagartendreamthatflies | emagarten

emagartom, sunshine kills

emagarton, dream blossoms

on yahoo profiles:

benzillar | benzradi

be21zh.org | be21zh

zhudajiu | zhudajiu

zhuson | zhuson@ymail

zhusis | zhuson

emakingir | emakingir

emagarten | emagarten

warrenzh | flickr

warrendzh | warrentzh

warranzh | warranzh

warrenzhu | flickr

warrinzhu | warrenzeu

on facebook:

Beba Zh

on diigo bookmarks user:

------------------

benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org

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a raining day, busy with microblogs' impression improvement.

Mon, 25 May 2009 14:12:00 -0700

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey

it has been more than a week since i update my album here. i recently surfed lately in night, so gotup later than usual. these days frequent cloudy days, so i can work in open air in my dad's house' front yard for more than 7 hours or so. there r also raining days. last sunset when i sang a love song, it drizzled, from a sunny day. this morning before i gotup it rained and continued since them. i worked in my bedroom under lamp most of the day, busy with fine tuned the background picture of my family twitter accounts, and i think its rewarding. i got break till after 3pm and satisfied. after rested some time i decided to blog it, and update my album with shots, mostly still life in the rain.

those days i also spent lots of time got myself familiar with the expanding service of qq, a domestic mainstream service provider. i also fine tuned my microblog with 3 domestic sp, ie. qq's taotao, jiwai.de, fanfou.com, founding can update all of them via qq's signature. i also setup my cellphone, so as to post on the move, and autopost to other microblog portal, including my twitter.

i do anything under God's guide. still, i got revenge from my nephew, who i love best among the next generation of my old family. i started to comment on his blog at qzone, a service of qq, when he complained pains of losing a love, then he silenced, till recently he practicing in remote province before his graduation. this time he despised love and friendship. i commented that they do exist and should be cherished. i told him he in God's fond. that ignite his revenge. he didn't deleted all posting, but changed his homepage with picture of sword and titled it "killing". i never forget anything i did, but i surely see the gaps between the faith and the person self-contented in material world.

ok, its a peaceful night, and the rain likely stopped. i thank u, Masheng, let me the baptism and time to linger indoor and watch the rain. its really too beautiful.

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raining afternoon, front yard of my past dad's old house.

------------------

benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org

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drizzle since last afternoon, heavenly love.

Wed, 20 May 2009 09:12:00 -0700

bulls on the grass in back of the village

the only pig nearby, eating his own.

drizzle gathered on stone stool.

benzrad, me, pose for a shot.

yesterday is a cloudy day first, i busy with reading and blogging. after noon i quit from notebook and dozed awhile on bed. when i missing years in Nankai Univ., where i met Masheng heavenly, it started to drizzle, out of my surprise. in the night i sms exchanged a lot with a facebook girl friend, who from Guangdong, south China, but now study in Shanghai. it later turned into a loving chase. the rain continued all night. in the mornign today i continued to ask the girl about my love and possible marriage. she defied it. i then sorted my recent photos and video, esp. this morning of the drizzle, online album and locally, till late afternoon. now i was left alone with my cool world of waiting and solitary for the descend of my Japanese fiancee. that's fine.

wet ground in front yard of my past dad's old house.

the same video on facebook.

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Get your own

updated picasaweb album

------------------

benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org

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retouched logo of my site, zhudajiu, for my hometown in the same title

Tue, 19 May 2009 04:59:00 -0700

its first version finished years ago. after equipped with xara warez, and lots of fonts, i felt i can improve it with more stunning effect. this morning is a cloudy day in my hometown, where i had spent near a month in it. the task cost me 2 hours or more. i got 2 versions, with which i don't want missing any one. so i uploaded both new versions to my google sites and google groups. blogger.com and blogspot.com still being blocked within China under its surveillance, so i can't update my blogs on google blog portal with the new version.

ok, its a nice silent morning. only i worked in the front yard of my past dad's old house. villagers all busy in field, for rapeseed due to harvest. last night i taught my old mother a lesson, when she in anxious and tried to flatter neighbor wives to eat some shrimp my nephew gave to me. i don't allow others partake my food without my consent. no one in the world can put a finger print on the glory of my dad, or my Royal, under God's shine. later i chatted with my baby, warren zhu, the God of universe, and the hope of China, online. i tried to vendor some kid games on verycd.com but likely baby these days interests on pc games deceased. in the dawn i dreamed of tribes or minorities like Uygur, and the problem to join them or merging them into mine. the unavoidable conflicts including the believes, let any changes hard to born. after woke up, i decided to stay in the faith of one world of God, the Mightiest and the only creator, who never has problem nor difficulty.

last time my baby urged me to return to Qiqihar, where my old social relation still in work. now i have no problem to stay here till end of August this year. its my time to live with Masheng, my second wife and the crowned Queen of my Empire. i also asked girl zhou and girl of Taiwan join my honeymoon this moment. i will see their houses in Wuhan, Beijing, Shanghai, prepared for me soon.

below is my works just finished.

logo v3 for site zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼 at http://zhu.be21zh.org

logo v4 for site zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼 at http://groups.google.com/group/zhudajiu

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an aged villager's funeral: hometown journey

Sun, 17 May 2009 05:02:00 -0700

i had reported the passing granny, Dai in family name, in my previous twitter. yesterday her funeral held by her offspring. granny Dai is the wife of an zhu, who passed earlier than her many years without any child, in the village. she is a short and a bit fat woman, generally hospitable. she and her husband adopted a girl, who married her neighbor in the village, 3th son of a family with 3 sons and a daughter. so all the offspring of her son-in-law and his relatives joined the funeral and mourning as her sons. its in a long time my first time to witness a village funeral, and many moments in the process when i shot photos and videos for the event i preview the funeral of my past dad, whose funeral i missed and never assured all went right. i many times felt would cry but my camera let me engaged. its also likely my first performance in front of my countryside patriots since my falling into madness several years ago, after so many years they seeing me as the gifted and looked up in expectation of achievement, for i was enrolled by a prodigious university, Nankai Univ., in China, first in the history of zhudajiu, my hometown village. nowadays i really in broad view of my world, and devoted to lead God's glory and sovereign on the land, as well as the nation in my coming kingdom of 1109 years. in the days since my return to the village, i really felt my Royal was inspired by the world that belongs to me, not all the folks in the village, for i perceived so many evil eyes and souls in the village, esp. the blood connected pals, who shown lots of hatred toward my past dad and my old family. God surely let anyone has his goal and pleasure of self-realization independently, but leader like my past dad, should not be hated for his brilliance. only ill hearts and hatreds-filled persons can do. i really saw in these days that God's glory is the kind that its perfection never seen before on the earth, its just too perfect to leave any dent of trifle or meaningfulless among men. it lasts every moments and flashs like beam of light, flows across like breeze in a pulse.

half of yesterday was in rain. it started soon after the coffin left the square of the village and after i sorted photos and videos just shot in front yard of my past dad's house, via my notebook and camera. it just so auspicious for me, for i love rain, love baptism, love seeing Masheng rest herself and girl l? in duty in the Sun's setting. i love the constrain rain brings to too bustle persons and ceases to enjoy the superpower of the nature. some women watched my photos, then all cooking utilities moved to my dad's old house, and since them lots of villages busy in the house, cooking, arranging, or watching my works on tv or web in my bedroom.

its a nice day, the daughter-in-law of my elder brother brought her webcam to me and i succeeded to install it. my baby still in these days loathed to talk with me, but i felt i can have more chance to talk with him and his mother online.

ok, below is my works for the funeral, which also reminded me one of my teacher, Daijun (in same family name of the past granny), whose fond on me envied by my alumni including those scores in subjects higher than mine and generally more important in class ( they told me later when i in college, while i never felt the fond when i cramming myself for college entrance exam and in depression), in my senior middle school, Huanggang Middle School.

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Ps: shits! the China surveillance now blocked blogger.com and all my blogspot blogs. i had problem to post my album in flash and 4 videos. what they wan to hell do?

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a blessed day, breeze after rainning night.

Tue, 12 May 2009 09:32:00 -0700

family of neighbor.

the road to zhudajiu, my hometown village.

it has been days since i returned from Tianzhen, the town my elder sisters, including my most cherished family member, my youngest elder sister, live. the decision to return Zhudajiu, my hometown village, was when i caught sight of the burning sunshine outside of elder sister's house's window, which is rightly my long time dream in Qiqiqhar, northeastern China, and the cause of my hometown journy. another reason is the rain here, so plenty each time it pours and times it occurs. this morning and recent days i reviewed the love from a girl student under family name lǘ (in Chinese the syllabus can also mean rain), when she regularly haunted emakingir's house for English tutorial even her English score quite satisfying in ema's school. she loves me and shown it with her best way she can adopt. she even descended to fight with ema around the table in ema's house to exam if she qualified to win me aside her in her life from my old family. i today learned from holy message that her love to me is true and divined. i would grant her to make ways to reach me and live along me in my life.

that love also remind me a early love occurred in my senior middle school, in a prodigious school, Huanggang middle school, Hubei Prov., central China. a girl always with marvelous scholar scores and frequent the top score owner in our grade, in the same family name lǘ, visited my hometown and slept in our old house a night when we took occasionally, at least for me, the same ship returning our hometown in vacation. i never second time receive the same level of brave a girl can shown upon her beloved. at that time we r in our fifteen's and i never dared to attracted her fond, for in most of my senior middle school years i was depressed by insufficience on score in exams. i don't know the night what happened to her, but she didn't contact me anymore after it, in the rest of our senior middle school years. i missed her very much but never had the confidence to invite her interview with me again. the last time i cared her up in my heart is when i saw she sat with a guy from the same county of hers on the grass in the school in sunset and talked. i then sure i was a loser and i put my long time love for her into death pool. the guy later didn't become her husband, but gracefully and enviable for most Chinese young men migrated into US with a scholar career. he is rightly the man help me get my first domain, be21zh.org, from American domain registrargodaddy.com. while the lǘ, palely settled in a secondary city, Yichang, within Hubei Prov., likely continued to research her major in college, virus. i never had an insight of the life or psychic set of a extradinarily able girl or woman, and also never got insight to the brave and sudden visit she brought to me the quite early year in our youth. she was a puzzle in my life, and i awared it before i first time fell into madness, back to 1999 or so.

its a cool day, after 2 days of first wave of heat in the summer here in Hubei Prov., central China. i enjoyed the dry and solid heat in burning sunshine very much, as i long time expected and the meaning of my hometown journey, the great gift from my Japanese girl and fiancee, Masheng. it started to rain in sunset, a real surprise for me, for it don't usually have too many rains on the latitude in summer. most of my beloved, r strong and powerful girls, i know, and i enjoyed my favored fate with so many beautiful creatures of God, they r in fact one of my wife, but very different facets of one diamond of the most beautiful. they live with strenth in my universe in my shine, all the one and Mightiest God's set.

its now just after noon, and breeze let me glad. with the help of Masheng, i now befriend with wind, esp. breeze. quite some other sounds still kinds of alarms for me, let me in fear of God's rage, or enemies' conspire that can hinder the way toward my Royal or kingdom, but i will live with all power from God, and live in joy forever gradually.

ps: when i posting recent 2 blogs, folks' hatreds arriving, a weeping women came to my old house to tell her being beaten by the same villagers. its all the demons against my Royal, here esp. my past dad, the God. they surely only one way to leak their failure and envies, that's death, sooner or later.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dabbog/FamilyFolksHometownJourney

http://picasaweb.google.com/dabbog/StillLifes1HometownJourney

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life in unstable: hometown journey

Tue, 12 May 2009 08:35:00 -0700

i was asked to visit my elder sisters' home before i arrived my hometown. so, after stayed at hometown village, zhudajiu, for more than a week, i visited Tianzhen, the town i haunted when i studied in junior middle school some mile away, and my past eldest sister lived near the town when then worker class in China society in rural area still domineer and enviable. all my sisters married in the town but i most missing my eldest sister, who once the proud of my old family, and commit suicide by jumping into Changjiang river in a dawn after quarreled with her husband when her 2 children still in their childhood. that's the bravest deed i ever known. so many year i still got courage from her, knowing that one thing anyone can pick, death.

in the week in the town, i slept in my youngest elder sister's house, while went to work online in my second elder sister's house, where evils frequently challenged me. the house owner, my elder sister's husband, a family name ruan (the same syllabus in Chinese can mean soft), just like my baby's grandma, is really a demon, the 2 nephews from the start peeking my life and attempted to mimic me. God knows how they frustrated in the process of stealth and envy.

this week, i almost did what i in view that's important. my sleep was not smooth, for weak sound, like crack or steps around, can woke me up. my elder sisters, as well as their husbands, all in rotation of working time table, cater to the full orders in the cement factory they work for. most of time i was alone slept in the whole house, on second floor. in my hometown village, even more sounds in nights, for the mountains and forest so close, and there r cattle. so i usually listening till mid night exhaust took me into sleep. quite some of them really holy message, God sees my life sounder here in coming months.

its the first morning i returned hometown village from Tianzhen town. last night i listen a lot, and dreamed a lot. i dreamed of God and his way of evolution, from one to 2, to 4, etc. i also felt the perished environment, including the ill will from my mother, my sister-in-law or my eldest brother. i dreamed surveillance in college, and among the students of God message, including that from my blogs. i also know my beloved suffering surveillance exerted by the China authority nowadays.

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