Let me just get the painful part out there: my naturally spawned progeny did not wish me a happy mother’s day. Neither of them. This oversight was ameloriated somewhat by the fact that two of my stepkids did — one of them even made me a cake (FAVORITE CHILD ALERT: LIZ). My son’s girlfriend brought me flowers. My mom sent me a giftcard congratulating me on surviving my children. My husband Eric feted me from dawn ’til dusk.

But the fruit of my own loom did nada.

So we sat down to a beautiful dinner prepared by my husband, shrimp and grits. Why? Because I asked for it. No, I’ve never made it and neither has he. It just sounded decadent and different and I really shouldn’t have to defend my choices to everyone anyway, OK? Wait. I think that’s a holdover from the same conversation I had with my birth children.  My bad.

Anyhoo, we commenced dining. Susanne — oh she of “I can’t eat this, it’s awkward” fame, when presented with $35 crabcakes she had ordered at my mom’s 60th birthday party — said, “UH UH,” with a look of total disgust, when offered shrimp and grits.

“One no thank you bite,” I said, and slopped a milligram on her plate.

(Eye roll — mine)

A few minutes later, Susanne had surreptitiously consumed the grits. A fork other than mine slipped onto my plate and snagged a shrimp and an especially delectable (cheesy, buttery, and did I mention cheesey and buttery?) bite of grits.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked her.

“I love you Mommy.” That’s her trademark “get out of jail” move. It didn’t work.

Now, this next bit requires backstory. Hang tight, people. When Eric was making dinner, Susanne came into the kitchen. That’s when she first started bitching about the menu. She picked up the package of grits, which was actually pre-cooked polenta. While this doesn’t sound like authentic shrimp and grits to you purists out there, it was exactly what the recipe called for, so there.

Back to the celebration of my life as a mother:

“Get your dirty fork off my plate. You didn’t even want any. If you want more, get it out of the dish, with the serving spoon.” I probably threw in a sweetie pie and said this in dulcet tones of love. Possibly.

“I didn’t know how much I liked to eat placenta,” Susanne said.

Everyone at the table groaned.

“What? Placenta is good,” she said.

Sixteen-year old Clark made retching noises.

“How did she survive to make it into high school?” Eric asked.

I just shook my head.

Liz piped in. “I wonder how this is going to go over with Tim Tebow?”

“WHAT? I don’t get it,” Susanne wailed.

Eventually Clark clued her in: “You just said you like to eat shrimp and afterbirth. Which explains a lot.”

This was after she’d eaten the rest of the shrimp and grits, licked the serving spoon, and poured herself the rest of the Fre (alcohol-free) champagne without asking whether her beloved mother would like a bit more.

I totally know what we’re serving now at the reception to her wedding to Tim Tebow.

<3

Pamelot

Four seconds. That’s the approximate range of forward thinking our teenage ADHD/Asperger’s son can engage in. There are obvious problems with this present focus, like the inability to envision future consequences of actions in the here and now.  This makes the Clark Kent in the present think he’s invincible like Superman, right? In fact, that’s what we have always called our boy: Clark Kent.

Clark Kent landed a summer job as a lifeguard. Last weekend he was in two days of lifeguard training. CK stayed with his dad the night before. CK’s father Edward is also ADHD. I sent the instructions to Edward and CK two days in advance, including a link to information about the site, the address and directions.  I didn’t connect the dots, cross t’s, and dot i’s about it, thinking, “It’s Edward’s time, and he’s a responsible adult.”

Well, it didn’t go well.

Please visit {a mom’s view of ADHD} to read the rest of “But Superman never gets a sunburn,” the latest installment of The Clark Kent Chronicles.

<3

Pamelot

How does AUTHOR-PRENEUR sound to you?

Let me ‘fess up, here: I’m one of those indie authors. You know the kind: writers who pursued traditional publication but didn’t get picked to dance with Prince Charming at the ball. I became a writer at the wrong time with the wrong material. I came on the scene post digital publishing boom with not a single word about sparkly vampires or boy-wizards. Um, I write witty women’s mysteries/thrillers and my nonfiction follows a similar bent. Sheesh, what was I thinking, right?

I tried to find an agent for a few years, and I had a lot of gratifying interest, but I didn’t land one. Yet every book I wrote won the writing competitions I entered them in: novels, short stories, and nonfiction. My writing was praised up one side and down the other, for all the good it did me. I didn’t seem like a “sure thing” to agents.

I got it. I didn’t like it, but I got it.

I had a choice, though. I could change what I wrote, or I could take control of my destiny and sell MY stories to MY readers. I could go indie.

TO READ THE REST, AND TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY FROM A COPY OF THE PUPPALICIOUS AND BEYOND EBOOK, please hop on over to my good friend Terri Sonoda’s site. Terri is herself a writer on the verge of an indie journey. When you leave a comment to enter the giveaway, be sure to follow Terri (blog, Twitter, Facebook). You’ll be glad you did.

<3

Pamelot

Practical advice with great real-life examples from an expert in the field – that’s what you get with Blended Family Advice, by Shirley Cress Dudley.

Shirley Cress Dudley is a wonderful mix of expertise and humbling personal experience, as she has spent years as a therapist/counselor and also as a step-parent in her own household.  She skillfully and honestly weaves her sometimes painful experiences and advice based upon them into Blended Family Advice. Readers, be assured, she is on your side and knows what a tough job step-parenting can be. There’s no judging in Blended Family Advice. She also very effectively yet discreetly incorporates problems presented in her practice, in an engaging “Dear Abby”-like format.

She also delivers a consistent theme that I will butcher and summarize as “agree on a plan and stick to it consistently and decisively.” No waffling! She stresses that alignment within the couple and consistency with each other and with the kids is key. Hear, hear! She had me from the word “Plan.”

As a parent in a blended family myself, I especially appreciated the focus on keeping the relationship between the couple central and protected. It was also clear that she had a good handle on the perspectives of all the different people involved in a blended family scenario — from the parents, to the step-parents, the ex’s of the step-parents, the friends, the grandparents, the kids – and helps readers empathize and understand with all of these perspectives.

My husband also read Blended Family Advice, and his favorite element of the book was the fully written out conversation starters, such as the one on communicating with children. She writes the words into full paragraphs and makes it OK for readers to read them to their kids. She advises that you can say something like “This is hard for me to say, but this book has a really good example of how I feel inside. Can we sit down together and I’ll read it to you?” Finding the right words can be very hard in these emotionally-charged, high stakes situations, and it is comforting to find words that will work, in multiple variations for the reader to choose from.

The book contains some wonderful practical activities and some bonus topics that I loved: blended family finances, holidays, homebuying, and a special section for grandparents. Wow, I wish I’d had the grandparent report years ago! (Yes, Mom, I would have sent it straight to you!)

Really, this book should be required reading for people who are about to marry and create a blended family.  If you missed that opportunity and are further down the road, this book will help you circle back and solve some of the issues you’ve probably struggled with for years.

Y’all know I’m passionate on this topic!

Pamelot

Hey y’all! Jenai invited me (Pamela Fagan Hutchins) to guest post on Bookingly Yours to promote my upcoming book, Love Gone Viral. You can read more about and buy Love Gone Viral and my other books on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, or even my publisher’s website, SkipJack Publishing. If you want to enter a raffle to win a free Love Gone Viral ebook, follow the instructions at the bottom of this post, and good luck.

Now, reprinted by permission of SkipJack Publishing, here’s an excerpt called “Was she a bad picker or a bad partner?” from Love Gone Viral. I wrote it about second (and third) chances at “happily ever after,” when I attended the “third chance” wedding of a friend.

***
I grew up listening to Captain & Tennille spin their songs of love, some of them foot-stomping fun—“You Better Shop Around” (yeah, baby) or “Love Will Keep Us Together”—and others touching the deepest part of my young soul—“Muskrat Love,” anyone? One song in particular stuck with me, though: “The Wedding Song.” Take a moment to Google the lyrics, and keep them open for reference. I’d put them here, but then I’d have to pay the songwriters. You guys know how cheap I am, so get to Googling.

To read the rest of the post and enter the contest to win a copy of Love Gone Viral, click here: http://bookinglyyours.blogspot.com/2012/05/guest-author-and-giveaway-pamela-fagan.html.

Best!

Pamela Fagan Hutchins