Rockworms

Umm, what the f*ck is going on?

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:44:11 +0100

If you are like every other Rockworms Dot Com loyal reader (HI MOM!) you will have noticed that throughout the last few weeks, there has been little-to-no fresh new hip content. The colorful writing and shiny pictures that so famously have haunted this site for almost two years now have suddenly stopped magically appearing. While your first natural reaction is to call your local emergency service center (well done, kids), please take note that NOTHING is wrong and we still do care an incredible amount about you and music in general. As a matter of fact, perhaps we care TOO much about music and making RockWorms the best music commentary site on the interweb. In an effort to find out, we are in the midst of launching a BRAND NEW Rockworms.com to coincide with the opening festivities of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games! The Olympics every four years are a spectacle to be held and why can't RockWorms join in on the fun? We are switching formats, layouts, letting a few people go (ooooh...yeah. Sorry Craig...you were going to find out somehow, buddy) and in general, making a more exciting and easier-to-read website for you all. Now doesn't that sound just great? In the meantime, enjoy going through the Rockworms archives aka The Greatest Hits for some of our favorite articles from Yesteryear. I mean, who could forget the time that Kyle, Craig and I live-blogged both the mid-west and the west-coast version of the Grammy Awards (Blog/Group-Live-Blog-Grammys-2008.html), to surprisingly similar results? So sit back and keep hitting refresh Rockwormites! In no time you will be in the fast lane to...music, review land. It's a cool place. Lots of people hang out there. OPEN BAR!!!!! Love you. -The Eds.

Adam thinks that "La Bamba" sucks

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:28:44 +0100

Hey friends, Adam here. Guess what: I think that La Bamba sucks. Not only does it suck, I felt passionately enough about it to write a longer-than-necessary article about my distain for the Latin-flavored dance hit. Sadly, I am unable to post it here at Rockworms, but if you are interested in finding out more, you can run over to the Happy Good-Times Joy Fun Blog (http://blog.adamcozens.com/?p=311) and read the whole thing. If you want a preview (and I knooooooooow that you do) here is a small taste: If you would have told musical genius Buddy Holly, J.P. Richardson aka music’s “The Big Bopper” and Ritchie Valen’s prior to their boarding of their V-Tail Beechcraft Bonanza at Mason City Municipal Airport, the most lasting artifact of their three storied careers that the most well-known song of these three esteemed and treasured musicians would be the often lyrically misunderstood and incessantly mocked Latino-themed dance anthem, “La Bamba”, do you think that their, deservingly so, enragement at this statement would have been enough that they would not have boarded the plane that day? -Adamcozens.com How will it end? Will I ever find peace in that a pop song is sometimes, just a pop song? Will I discover that there is a secret, hidden meaning to La Bamba ala La Cucaracha? All this and more exclusively at the Happy Good-Times Joy Fun Blog (http://www.adamcozens.com) .

Jay-Z learns to not look back in anger...I heard him say

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:57:01 +0100

Us editors here at the world-famous Rockworms Dot Com have had many conversations regarding how the posting of videos just for the sake of posting videos. Sure, it's easy and it gets content and visitors to your site, but we are about more than that. We are about quality content, fun and informative writing and the discovery of good, new music. On that note, I am going to post a video of a popular hip-hop star covering a 90's rock song at a festival in England. Don't judge me. For those unfamiliar with the rationale', Noel Gallagher from Oasis was publicly slamming the festival for putting Jay-Z in the line-up this year. I guess this was the Jigga-man's rebuttal. For bonus fun, check out the 2nd verse of 99 Problems. Tite. Enjoy.

Adam's LiveBlog: R.E.M. at Madison Square Garden

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:36:28 +0100

6:54 – I made it! Madison Square Garden! The world’s most famous arena! Yeeeaaaaah! 7:00 – I can’t find my seat. I’m going where they are telling me to go, but my seat is not there. 7:06 – OK, I was about 4 levels too high. *Phew*, that’s a relief at least. For the amount I spend on these tickets I was nervous they were going to STILL suck. 7:10 – The National is starting inside. I’m still in the wrong section. Should I just sit down and watch from here? Nope. Security ain’t having that. Shouldn’t they have a policy in place that if your seat is FAR superior to the one you are attempting to squat in, you may sit there? Sounds reasonable. 7:13 – I am nervous to ask this person customer service person where my seat is because I am pretty sure I asked her already and she looked at me like I was amazingly stupid then!

R. Kelly: Free to Continue Pissing on Youth and the Judical System

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 12:12:31 +0100

In an era where To Catch a Predator dominates the airwaves, Net Nanny is laying down the law on the internet and sting operations across the country have been cracking down on day-to-day real world illegal perversions, it is somehow nice to know that at least ONE segment of the American population is immune to punishment for their documented and evidence-filled crimes against youth: black R B singers. Despite overwhelming evidence to the guilt of both these men, juries have free'd each of them for reasons that continue to perplex the average news-coverage follower. Michael Jackson, with his history of sketchy actions involving youth and matter-of-fact statements that he had often allowed young boys to sleep in his bed with him was still released back into the public by a jury of his peers after his guilt could not be officially verified. And in news that just broke this last Friday, 90's throb-tastic hit machine R. Kelly was found innocent on all charges that he appeared in a home video having sex and urinating on a 14 year-old girl. As a witness to the film, I have no question at all that Mr. Kelly was in fact the man in the short film, but once again, a jury of his peers let him go. Is white guilt rearing it's pale head again? In a world where we are practically stumbling over ourselves to lock away those who endanger our children, why are we freeing the two most public cases of underage sexual assault in the modern era? It's astonishing. Yeah, I guess I just wanted to write something because everyone else was covering the R. Kelly story. I dunno.

Nas - Be a N*gger Too

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:36:42 +0100

I personally would have no qualms writing out the uncensored version of the title, but I'm sure someone would give me crap for it. So it gets the asterisk. Meh. Language not safe for work.

Ouch

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 10:18:55 +0100

On Friday, the RIAA honored singer/songwriter Jewel with a career sales acheivement award , which is nice...if she thought that her career was over. But Jewel just released a new album last Tuesday. Is the RIAA trying to give her a not-so-subtle hint? Me thinks so. The academy awarded the Alaskan blonde a plaque (and hopefully some pocket cash) for selling 18 million albums domestically in her career. She has sold almost 30 million worldwide and judging from the award, they apperantly don't expect her to sell too many more. Ouch. She is 34. Tough luck.

Enjoy Alice in Wonderland (no drugs required)

Wed, 28 May 2008 12:40:34 +0100

How about that, somebody remixed Alice in Wonderland so that you don't have to be high, or 5 (high 5!?!?) to enjoy it! Mad props the Aussie DJ Pogo for creating this uber cool tune using actual sounds from the movie as 90% of his source material. Pogo (shown to the right) is even offering a free MP3 of this track here (http://freedownloads.last.fm/download/122176486/Alice.mp3) through Last.fm. Thanks Pogo! Good luck with puberty, we hope you're just as cool afterwards.

Flobots - "Handlebars"

Tue, 27 May 2008 09:38:49 +0100

Since Universal is not allowing the REAL video be embedded, I had to go and lamely put this video up. But I HAD to do it. This new track by Flobots is outta this work hot and it is going to be BIG this summer. YEAH! METRONOMES!

"Weeds" to Little Boxes: DIE!!

Fri, 23 May 2008 14:29:29 +0100

OK, so maybe that isn't EXACTLY the way it went down, but someone from one of those other websites that I contribute to (http://gawker.com/392796/and-then-to-the-university) announced yesterday that the popular reefer (AND LOVE!) themed program is now shifting away from its theme song of three years, the many times covered Little Boxes . According to creator Jenji Kohan (who on the season 1 DVD set gives a boring, yet occasionally accidentally humorous commentary track where she talks about her personal penchant for drug use, while her baby coos in her arms) Nancy has gotten out of her box and now there is no need for that theme. So she's in a city? The country? Mexico? WHERE DID THEY GO?!?! I miss Agrestic already... The theme song, one of the early point of recognition for the celebrated dramady has been performed by different artists in almost every episode of the shows run. Contributing artists include: Elvis Costello, Regina Spektor, The Decemberists, Engelbert Humperdinck, Jenny Lewis and Johnatahn Rice, Tim DeLaughter, Randy Newman, Billy Bob Thorton, The Shins, Death Cab for Cutie, Mates of State, Joan Baez, Linkin Park, Ozomatli and more. No matter what song Kohan and Co(Han?) choose for the new theme, we hope the keep up the tradition of utilizing multiple performers.

Liz Phair says "Give Me Your Hot White...Concert"

Tue, 20 May 2008 08:00:13 +0100

Spin (http://www.spin.com/articles/liz-phair-perform-exile-guyville-nyc) is reporting this morning that Liz Phair will be giving a track by track live show of her album Exile in Guyville which is now 15 years young! Phair will play in NYC on June 25, but shows in San Fran, and Chicago will be announced soon (what--no Minneapolis?). The potty mouth girl rocker will release a special anniversary album Guyville on June 24th with bonus tracks, B-Sides, and most likely some sort of tribute to yours' truly. If Phair had given a quote, she would have probably said Rockworms Dope. So soo dope!

Josh Groban to John Mayer: IT'S ON!!!

Sun, 18 May 2008 23:00:00 +0100

OK, so maybe the grandmother-loved piano crooner DIDN'T actually say that to the guitar-strumming girly man, but the implication is there: Josh Groban and John Mayer are sizing each other up to square off for the shoddy-acoustic-musical-comedy crown! People Magazine (http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/05/07/music.joshgroban.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch) named Josh Groban one of the ten sexiest people in America, a title that Groban has been quick to laugh off, and repeatedly throw in Adam Cozens face. I always had a really great time flipping through the magazine and making fun of everybody, Groban told The Associated Press with a laugh. I'm really honored to be one of those people that I'm sure people will be criticizing. Groban told our faux-sister service The A-P that he was honored to be included in the Kimmel/Affleck spoof vid and that his suprising, profanity-laden cameo will do nothing but good in his eyes. On shocking the blue-hairs who thought of him as an innocent little sweety: I wanted that to change a little bit, (the video) is definitely my kind of humor, and I thought it would be really fun. ... I hope soon to do something like that in the future. Not if his contemporary Mr. Mayer has anything to say about it! Mere weeks after the release of Groban's buzz-worthy Affleck , the Russel Brand-esque lethario released his Judd Apatow-directed Makin' Music (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/611387370c) clip to the delight of high school girls across the country and to the general disinterest of those with working humor-sensors. This is a far drop from Mayer's comedic debut in Dave Chappelle's How People Dance video, so perhaps he is suffering from setting his own bar too high. And I do adore 2 Guys, 1 Cup (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/26050ea6ee). But it DID have Curb Your Enthusiasum alum J.B. Smoove in it, so he gets a slight break. Let's allow Groban to wrap us up. I've always been the kind of person who has been very serious about my music, and very completely non-serious and completely goofy and crazy about everything else in my life. Sho nuf homie. Keep em laughing boys. But not too much. I have bills to pay.

Kaddisfly show tonight in St Paul w/ Carawae

Fri, 09 May 2008 07:26:10 +0100

All you Minnesotans come check out Kaddisfly tonight at Station 4! National Recording Artists: KADDISFLY W/ Special Guests: Carawae, Throw The Fight, Drift Effect and Between Two Skies Station 4, 201 E 4th Street, Saint Paul, MN 55101 Come find me (craig--here's a pic (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3213/2477700885_ce5638294e_m.jpg)) and tell me how much you love rockworms.com, and I'll give you a free copy of the new EP from Von Nelson (http://vonnelson.com/). See you there!

Petty Powerfully Pukes; Penalty Payment Possibility? Probably Poor

Mon, 05 May 2008 08:30:20 +0100

When you are one of the all-time legends in rock 'n roll, a lifetime of regrets and mistakes from the road is sure to make a habit of haunting you. But for every woman scorned or car totaled, you surely have been able to record a dozen classic songs that make those memories seem insignificant. For most rock stars that is probably the case. But for one, guilt hangs over his head like a painful shadow of past transgressions. For the last four decades, legendary rock and roller Tom Petty has been shying away from returning to Los Angeles' famous Trobadour nightclub following an incident from the 1970's that left with him a large and intimidating cleaning bill. According to Petty (http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/petty%20refuses%20to%20pay%20480%20vomit%20bill_1067652), he and his then-band Mudcrutch had been opening for The Knack and following their set, Petty and they boys had gone backstage to imbibe in the boozeness. After Petty had built up a more-than-healthy buzz, He was called up on stage by The Knack who wanted him to accompany them. Prior to launching into a planned guitar solo, Petty lurched forward and puked over the first row of seats and concert attendees. Drinks went flying, wardrobes were ruined the aged rocker jokes. And what did Petty get for his actions? A $480 cleaning bill that in the near half-century since the event has transpired, he has still yet to pay.

Rockworms Purchases Team Van

Sun, 04 May 2008 13:40:40 +0100

Oh so THATS where all the membership dues were going.

Kanye West: An Inspiration to 5 AM Review-Reading Theatre Nerds Everywhere

Sun, 04 May 2008 11:26:51 +0100

For those of you who have been hiding up a hip-hop sized rock (what shape would that rock be? Octogon? Triangle?) for the last month, Kanye West has been on a world tour in late support of his 2007 high-selling album Graduation. Mr. West has spared no expense on making this the tour of the year getting only the best in lightening crews, special effects, robot-dancer-things and 2001-esque space aged technology. As as been the case his whole career, Kanye has taken his work very seriously and as a perfectionist, once his tour was unveiled to the world, he expected all to share in his appreciation of the tour. While most have been giving the Glow In The Dark (Blog/Space-Race-Tour-Edition.html) tour rave reviews, one journalist dared question it. One dared voice an opinion not universally shared by his peers, dared give the tour a *gasp* ...B+. Oooooooooh shiiiiiet. Yizzle was NOT going to be taking this lying down. With all the courage and intensity that he could muster, 'Ye unleashed his fury upon the periodical that had done wronged him: Entertainment Weekly (http://www.ew.com/ew). Below is the original E.W. review as well as Kanye's response.

TriBeCa/ASCAP - Day 4 feat. Augustana & Sia

Sat, 03 May 2008 20:10:23 +0100

After writing up the report from day two (Blog/Spektor/Ingrid-review.html) of the ASCAP Music Lounge at the TriBeCa Film Festival, many friends and readers have stopped me dead-cold on the street to remark and then ask me Dang son, you must'a been spent! There's no way you had enough left in the tank to go back for more! In most situations, you would have been correct. After the wildness of Tuesday, I, like most viral young men in my mid-20's, would have given up and called it a week. Heck, after that chaos, maybe even a MONTH! But I couldn't this time. Not during TriBeCa. No, no, no. Not when long-time Rockworms-admired actor Bob DeNiro went through all of this trouble to entertain me. I couldn't turn the guy down! I couldn't do that do him. So I grabbed Rockworm Jr. Research Assistant and intern of Copy-Editing Related Media Storyboarding, Tiffany B. and headed down into the gullys of New York's China Town to cover DAY FOUR of the TriBeca Film Festival's ASCAP Music Lounge. Before you ask, yes, I did miss day 3. In the words of the aforementioned Bobby D, don' worry bout it.

TriBeCa/ASCAP - Day 2 feat. Thile, Spektor and Michaelson

Fri, 02 May 2008 13:08:31 +0100

If you are like most of your Rockworms reading peers, you have been trying to put your finger on what it is that makes Rockworms superior to Perez Hilton (http://www.perezhilton.com), Defamer (http://www.defamer.com), Pitchfork (http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/), Craigs Anatomy (http://www.craigsanatomy.com) or pretty much any other music blog that you might frequent. Well, you need wonder no more! In addition to our cutting-edge scathing socio-politico commentary and decade-old album reviews (Blog/Crash-Test-Dummies-Review.html), we can now brag that we were able to land highly-coveted press access to the 2008 ASCAP Music Lounge at the TriBeCa Film Festival in New York City. Oh, you think that you are cool for getting to go to SXSW Rolling Stone (http://www.rollingstone.com)? I didn't see YOU at the ASCAP lounge! Suck on THAT VH1's Best Week Ever!! (http://www.bestweekever.tv) We taking over this newfangled internet fad! This last week, Rockworm writers have been able to watch some of the best in music, hob-nob with other previously-faceless writing peers and partake in an open bar courtesy of TriBeCa founder Robert DeNiro. Thanks Bob! I was busy/asleep for the first day of the festival, so I sadly missed out on that action, but I was able to shake myself out of bed and get down to Canal street for the 2nd Day of musical awesomeness! And boy did I see some stuff! As I showed up, I was delighted to hear the sound of music already filling my ears. I was coming in during what I thought was going to be a set change, but Chris Thile of Nickel Creek and Punch Brothers fame was still balls-deep wrapping up his set. I hadn't planned on hearing Chris, but I was delightfully surprised. As I walked in, he was vigorously picking away at his mandolin. Despite only getting to enjoy about two songs of his, I felt like I had heard enough to get an appreciation for his work. A very entertaining and talented musician he is. Must remember to look up more when I get out of my current Hall Oates phase.

Free Music - Coldplay gives away first single

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 08:38:19 +0100

I wonder how many people google free music every day? I wonder what small fraction of them will wander here to this humble site? Coldplay (http://coldplay.com) has jumped on the giving stuff away train and decided to release the first single from their Viva la Viva (roughly translated: Long Live Rockworms.com (http://www.rockworms.com)), for FREE via there official website starting tomorrow. The track will only be up for a week, then you'll have to pay for *cough-steal-cough* it. The message on their site reads: From tuesday, 12:15pm UK time for one week only you can come here to download of a new song called Violet 4:11 Also, in the spirit of free stuff, they're going to play a free show at Madison Square Garden in NYC on June 23rd. Let's hope we don't have another Gimme Shelter on our hands. Better off just not inviting Hells Angels this time.

Is Amy Winehouse Hot?

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 11:27:36 +0100

This has been a question that I have been debating with friends the last few months. I seem to be in the minority in my opinion, but I have grown up around alot of English people and that may have scewed my opinion. Either way, I think that at the end of the day, yes, Amy Winehouse is overall an attractive person. Yep. I do. When she is glammed-up and sedated, I have no real issues with her. She is in no way the best of the best. Not an Americas Next Top Model -beauty queen type. But she has her charm. She's not Shakira, but certainly not dog-ass, Sarah Jessica Parker or Camilla Parker Bowles bad. But every time I begin to make successful strides in convincing others to give her a chance, the dumb English tart has to come out and take a freakin' cracked-out pic like this and ruin all my work. Dangit Amy! Can't you see I'm fighting for you?!? For US!!!! You are starting to look like a Tracy Ullman-version of yourself!!! Now that ain't right. She looks like that freaky rat-monster-thing from Neverending Story. Or even worse...

Sometimes I write a column called "Musings", vol 2

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:31:38 +0100

As I am sure you have read, I really, really like R.E.M.’s new CD Accelerate. If you didn’t know that, you obviously didn’t read my review and that hurts my heart. You may feel free to stop reading “Musings” now, because we are no longer friends. However, if you would be interested in finding your way back into my heart, go read it. It’s kinda long. I put an A.P.B. out to a bunch of my more creative/humorous/bored friends a few weeks back looking for help in naming my new short film/writing/stand-up/etc. company. Greg (who as you might know, I love) suggested “The Comedy Cozens.” While on the surface it may not seem like much, it holds a much deeper, far more important meaning to me. Now when I go out to perform on the road, I can ask for more up front because the name is plural sounding! They think there is more than just me coming! It’s like being called “Adam and the Gang”! I can charge for more! More moolah! Well, it makes sense to me. I haven’t watched an American Idol this season. Not one glorious episode. I did however catch the clip of that kid on YouTube who chose to cover Chris Cornell’s cover of Michael Jackson’s song “Billie Jean” to what I deemed as marvelous results. I have heard all three versions and if properly credited like they claim, I think that it is great. Does that make me a bad person? I’m starting to think that it does! I am still “officially” jobless. I say “officially” because I credit Rockworms as a paying gig, even though I have yet to see a single cheque and Craig says that we won’t be profitable for at least another year. But, it’s going on the resume anyway. Anyone need a writer’s assistant?

Eli Porter- The Future of All That Is Hip-Hop

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:53:16 +0100

Representing the class of 2005, Eli Porter. That will someday soon, be enough to elicit a response of uncontrollable laughter from anyone at all close to the online community. About two weeks ago, I was reading some New York comedy blogs (http://www.paulscheer.com) and I started to notice this small, but incredibly hilarious video was starting to make the rounds. Soon FunnyOrDie (http://www.funnyordie.com) picked it up. Then FARK (http://www.fark.com) ran with it. Yesterday it made the front page of the Happy Good-Times Joy Fun Blog (http://blog.adamcozens.com). So before it becomes Chocolate Rain 2.0 , we here at Rockworms need to climb aboard and embrace the awesomeness of The Worst Rap Battle of All Time. This video seriously has it ALL! Bad freestyle rap, terrible usage of slang, demeanment of the crippled, weirdly homo-erotic touching by the judges, gut-laughter inducing awkwardness and one of the worst attempts at Rosie O'Donnell dissing ever recorded. Envy sure picked a great week to suck. And as it is being said on some other blogs, at the end of the clip, please notice how our boy Marv-O pronounces that this battled HAD to be better than last week! I MUST SEE THE PREVIOUS WEEK!!!

Hall & Oates - Private Eyes

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:39:58 +0100

. .

Weezer, Velvet Revolver & GNR

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:15:43 +0100

First off, they're back...if they ever left at all. Weezer' (http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003791833)s new single Pork Beans is doing well on the charts. The bands new album is set for release on June 24th, and it will be available digitally on the 24th of this month. It will be their THIRD self-titled album, which shows that you can be a genius at music and still have NO idea what to call the album. My money is that its the Yellow Album (see inset press photo) Velvet Revolver (http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2008/04/21/velvet-revolver-to-launch-website-to-recruit-new-singer/) has no front man. Scott Weiland is about as reliable as the weather and after creating a solid fan base , he has gone back to his other ventures...jerk. Well, when life gives VR lemons, they make a website. Yep, thats right, VR is using an internet site where potential new lead singers can submit their stuff. Seems like either someones big chance, or the chance to show that there is only one Scott Weiland. And lastly, what would music news be without a GNR update?!? First off, claims have been made that Guns N' Roses (http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003791891) are 'negotiating' a release date for the new album. More amusing than that is that Robin Finck has left the band to return to Nine Inch Nails and is going to be touring with Nails this summer. The article states that the band was caught a bit off guard by his leaving. Hmm, how long would you stick in a band that can't put an album out after a decade of trying, but had the opportunity to be in one....yeah...

Stops The Violence Tour Stops...Due to Violence

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:36:54 +0100

Blastmasta KRS-One's Stop The Violence tour came to a stop the other evening after violence erupted (http://streetknowledge.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/wtf-krs-one-becomes-victim-of-violence-on-stop-the-violence-tour/) and the backstage irony cauldron overflowed onto the laps of all those in attendance. At a concert in New Haven, CT last Friday, the patriarchal hip-hop pioneer was performing at one of the stops on his mission-led Stop The Violence tour which aimed at bringing attention to the alternatives of dangerous street-lives to America's youth. The tour has been stopping at some of the nations roughest neighborhoods for conferences and performances. The South Bronx-bred emcee was well into his set when a rowdy concert-goer tried to take the stage and was removed by security. As he was being ejected from the show, the upset fan hurled a bottle at KRS-One which struck him in the face and fractured his hand. I am not really sure how it would be possible to achieve both. As the fan was being carried off, the remaining show crowd grew rowdy and wanted to put a down a SERIOUS WHUPPIN' on the fan. KRS always with the best intentions at heart, pleaded with the crowd to “Let it go. When negativity comes your way, let it go. Word. KRS was taken to Yale-New Haven Hospital where he was treated for a fractured hand and dehydration.