Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Facebook user. But recently, and also in the past, I’ve questioned the reasons why I use any type of social media. It’s actually been an internal struggle for me. On the one hand, I use Facebook and Twitter to promote this blog and my two books, How We Prevent Wealth: A Personal Finance Reflection, and Love is Complex: Reflections on Divorce, Deal Breakers and Dating, but on the other hand I use it for the exact same reasons why the majority, if not all, of others use it–I’m a giant attention whore.

Posting family pictures is one thing, but the majority of user’s Facebook postings are made up of someone’s philosophy that comes by way of a third-party “quote in a picture box”… …Someone’s commentary on what he or she has read…

…Pictures of meals that he or she has eaten…

…Or ”check-ins” to let others know that he or she has made it to the gym, greyhound, Germantown, or wherever the fuck.

Why do we feel so compelled to share all that we do? Why do I feel that it’s necessary to want others to know what I do, think, or eat? Why do I care for others to know which articles are satisfying or unsatisfying to me? Why do I feel it necessary to tell others that I’m at the gym, overseas, or at a business meeting? Why do I feel that it’s necessary to promote my subtle agenda of seeking gender equality, civil rights, or ”healthy living?”

Again, my answer is that it all comes down to being an attention whore, which points to our own insecurities. We want people to comment on and “like” our statuses, and every comment and “like” incentivize us to create more content for others to comment on and “like.” Not only do we want to engage others in our social commentary, we want everyone to see the social commentary that we have given, even if others have not commented or liked our statuses.

Why are we so insecure? Why do we seek so much attention? Are we so lonely that we need to reach out and “stay connected” by sharing our entire lives with others?  Whether our content is shared publicly or just among a list of “friends”, what do our postings on social media sites really say about us? What type of picture does it paint? And do we really care?

I think it may be time for me to go dark on my social media activities again.

I usually blog when I want to get things off my chest because of the therapeutic nature of writing and releasing, but it seems that in the words of Lil Wayne, “I ain’t got no worries.” It’s a hell of a feeling.

In the world of finances, I’m at a point where I can comfortable spend as much as I want on whatever it is I want; it helps that I don’t want much stuff and that I have developed an internal “spending ceiling alert.” I haven’t purchase a new pair of shoes, a new outfit, or anything really, for myself in about a year. I save the bulk of my income. One would think that this is no way to live, but it’s pretty easy for me because I don’t desire much stuff beyond travel. I don’t care for the “dining out experiences”, going to the movies, or doing whatever else “normal” people do to spend their money. However, when I do decide to spend money, “I go hard in the paint.” But, because it only happens occasionally and only when I have time to travel, I end up saving a lot more money than I spend.

In the world of relationships, I’m at a point where I no longer seek the company of females whom I have to date in order to get to know. I’ve come to a rational conclusion that it’s a waste of my time, and money, to date. I’m so stuck on my long-term plan of retirement in six years that I don’t want to invite any more variables into this equation. I’m smart enough to realize that any female that comes into my life will inevitably bring about compromises which I have no desire to do. I’m not the person who fears being lonely in the future. I’m a self-starter and am pretty damn good at figuring out what to do if I ever get lonely; I’d just join a organization like Habitat for Humanity.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love being in the company of a beautiful, witty, intelligent conversationalist, but I’m not searching for her. I’m not even interested in the “chase.” You know, the one in order to reach sexual gratification. I’ve learned that, for me, it’s not worth it. Flirting is fun, but then I think about the aftermath: dating, courting, spending money to do things that I don’t really want to do…yeah, no thank you. I’ll keep the few female friends that I have with whom I can invite out when I want to do something in the company of a female.

In the world of parenting, I have a great relationship with my son and love the challenges that he brings to the table. It definitely helps that he is super smart and a very respectful kid. He makes me proud everyday. An ongoing concern that I had up until recently was if he would have been able to live with me after my current career assignment ends. After this assignment ends I have to move from Charlotte, where I currently have the help of his mother and grandmother if I needed to travel for work.

I just found out the other day that my next 36 month assignment will allow him to continue to live with his me, which I believe is super important for a pre-teen male. The greatest thing about it is that his mother feels the same way. Next year, I may not be able to “get up and go” when I want, being as how his mom will no longer be able to simply “take him” on the weekends, but this sacrifice is part of my life. This just means that I’ll get to enjoy more of my traveling experiences with my son.

In my career and in life, I try to no longer sweat the small stuff. I make a pretty good income and am in a secure job from which I will be able to retire in about 6 years, at 39 years old. The more seniority I gain, the less stuff I have to put up with from others.

When I first transferred into my current assignment, I used to complain that I didn’t have enough people to lead or that my “operational tempo” was too slow. But, now I embrace my slow-paced assignment and realize that it allows me to be as active as I want to be in my son’s life, and to participate as a member in organizations such as Rotary International. I’ve even completed my master’s degree while I was on this assignment and am strongly considering another.

It’s a blessing to be able to take off of work when necessary in order to bring my son lunch, take him to doctor appointments or sporting events, and most importantly, attend his honor ceremonies and graduations. There is extreme job satisfaction in mentoring others and lending a helping hand in the local community…and my job’s flexibility allows me to be such an ambassador. It’s great to be able to do absolutely nothing, unless I want, during my evenings and weekends that are free from work.

On the surface, it seems that my life is close to perfect. For me, I’d say it is. But if you have been following my blog for longer than a year, you know the struggles that I’ve had to overcome to get to such a point. It required hard decisions and sacrifices, most of them coming down to individual choices that I felt was best for me and my son…and for others.

I chose to leave a wife who no longer wanted to be with me. I chose to fight for my son so that he could remain living with his father. I chose to leave a career path where I wasn’t happy, but made sure I prepared before doing so.

I choose to buy fewer things so that I can spend guilt-free like there is no tomorrow. I choose not to be in a relationship with another female. I choose to still continue to save 30% of my income even though I will be eligible to retire with a healthy pension in 6 years. I choose to keep my independence by not having more children.

If I look at where I stand in a relatively stress-free life, it is a result of choices that I have made and I am absolutely content. Contrary to what many people think, we are in control…until we give it up with the choices that we make or have made.

In the words of Dr. Somov, in his Huffington Post article:

We have been taught to chase the unattainable: to be more than what we are at any given point in time. We are a culture of idealistically naive strivers unable to be content with what is if only for a moment. This absurdly unrealistic goal (to be more than what we are at any given point in time) comes with the high cost of psychological dependence. Feeling chronically imperfect, we sell out for reassurance, validation and approval. Feeling chronically incomplete, we compete in consumption and stuff ourselves beyond measure.

…I encourage you to proclaim your psychological independence - from a hollowing-out and incessant desire for more. Your individual psychological health is part of our collective wealth. Self-help, self-care, self-awareness and self-acceptance are patriotic. Stop waging war on yourself: you are doing your best, nonstop, all the time. On some level you know it. Make it official. And as soon as we do, as a nation, we will shift the paradigm from conspicuous consumption of goods and calories to the era of conspicuous compassion and moderation.

I was so excited to practice my Spanish that I made the Exchange clerk in the airport speak only in Spanish, even though I was about to make a large transaction. I told her (in Spanish) that I wanted to pull $400 in cash from my debit card. She started explaining what needed to happen to perform such a transaction. Because I’m not yet fluent in Spanish I only understood bits and pieces, but I thought I had a general idea of what she was saying. She told me that she’d first have to pull money from my checking account in the form of Pesos, and then convert the Pesos to 400 US Dollars.

What I didn’t understand was the cost for doing this–about 42.50 US Dollars for both of the two transactions. Even though she pointed to and show me the value $485 on her computer screen, it just didn’t quite register to me that this was the price I had paid to pull $400 cash from my debit card. I was too excited that I was in a Spanish conversation with a beautiful women whom had me mesmerized.  By the time the two exchanges took place, I had a receipt in front of me that totaled $485! This is the biggest “ATM fee” that I’ve ever paid in my life. I was screwed but couldn’t even blame the clerk. It was too damn late; the money had been exchanged and my card swiped.

Furthermore, the exchange rate at the Exchange station (1 USD = 35.5 DOP) was much lower than it was on the economy (1 USD = 41 DOP).

I screwed myself all around on this transaction. Next time I visit, I will ensure that I pull all my cash from an ATM prior to leaving the States, and if I need Pesos, I’d simply pull them from a local ATM whose fees are about the same in the US.

2. Virgin Mobile does not support international roaming for their iPhones. I don’t understand why, but this restriction definitely made it difficult for me to connect with the locals. I still got around a bit, though, by texting to other iPhones, using iPhone’s messaging system via Wi-Fi when I was on the resort. Even if I did have a Service provider like AT&T, their international rates are extremely high relative to using a local provider, like, Claro. So, when I return to Punta Cana, I need to purchase a local prepaid phone, so I can easily contact friends and most importantly, taxi drivers, when needed.

3. Try to stay off the All-Inclusive Resorts. Believe it or not, I couldn’t discipline myself from over-consuming foods and over-indulging in alcohol; And I’d like to think that I’m a pretty disciplined person. I had at least two full plates of food for every meal except my first meal, in which I only had fruit and a cappuccino. But, every time I had other meals, I packed my plate. I just couldn’t help myself.

The over-abundance of liquor was simply not good for me. My first meal, every other meal, and every waking minute between meals, was accompanied by several alcoholic beverages. I couldn’t help it. I just HAD to get my money’s worth. I had several local brewed beers (El Presidente), rum, vodka, scotch, tequila, whiskey, etc. When I was bored, I drank. When I was reading, I drank. When I was socially engaged at the bars, I drank.

So, the next time I visit a place abroad, I’m going to TRY to stay away from an all-inclusive resort…or make sure I have enough discipline to refrain from doing what I did this time. To mitigate this future damage, though, I going to try to rent a villa or at least a nice hotel that doesn’t provide unlimited access to overindulging.

4. There is value in traveling alone. This vacation was taken because it gave me an opportunity to meet up with my friends who were celebrating their one year anniversary. I really enjoyed the time that I spent with them, especially the deep conversations that we had regarding relationships. It was also nice to have some drinking buddies around for the last two days of my trip. But, it’s true that the more people involved in a vacation, whether it is a meet-up or not, the more compromises that have to be made.

Not everyone will have the same goals or expectations regarding what one wants to experience, the money one wants to spend, or the time one wants to spend doing one thing or another.  Furthermore, when I’m alone, I force myself to engage in conversations with other people so as not to be bored. And as always, most of these engagements lead to the most unforgettable experiences that I have. One experience was learning how most, if not all, of the gentlemen clubs in the Dominican Republic doubles as brothels. This Very Short Punta Cana Trip Report summarizes what one would likely experience if he went out on a search for “poon” in Punta Cana.

5. In my next career, I may become a Sanky Panky.  A Sanky Panky has two contextual meanings. The first is, often, a poor Dominican male who works on a resort with the underlying purpose of exploiting older American or European women. The Sanky Panky shows the women such a great time that the women eventually fall in-love. Once the women return to their country, the Sanky Panky begins asking their new “girlfriends” to wire them money. Or in other extreme cases, the Sanky Panky has the end goal of “marrying up” in order to escape the poverty in the Dominican Republic.

The second Sanky Panky, which is my choice of poison, is a young attractive male whose sole job is to show older women a great time while they’re on their vacation. These Sankies are more like the American equivalent of Gigalos. I mean, what older women wouldn’t want to hold my arm while walking around an all-inclusive resort that I wouldn’t have to pay for? I heard that the Sanky Panky earns up to a thousand dollars weekly! So, if I ever find myself falling on hard times, I guess I’ll hit the gym a little bit harder in order to increase my physical attractiveness marketability, and then hop on a plane to the Dominican Republic to show the adventurous older ladies the times of their lives.

Here’s the movie Sanky Panky, a comedy, that was actually shot at the same resort I was staying at:

I watched it last night and you can purchase it for less than $12 on Amazon. It’s shot in Spanish but has English subtitles.

There is an extreme difference between my approach, though, and the approach of many other guys who have the same end goal. I’m the nice guy, no matter how much of an Alpha I claim that I want to be. In other words, my compassion overtakes my hormones, regardless of how horny I am. I blame my dad; his “nice gene” has compromised my DNA. This is ever so evident in a situation that I found myself in yesterday.

The Initial Meet up

I enjoy conversations with people, especially females, whether I’m attracted to them or not. So, yesterday while eating at the Chinese restaurant with my son, I started a small conversation with a fairly attractive young lady who was waiting for her order. I spent about ten minutes making small talk that was focused mainly on learning things about her. She disclosed some troubling information about her father’s death from an aneurysm three years ago and her brother who was shot in the head in a homicide just three months ago. Both incidents, she said, was pretty traumatic for her; I expressed my sympathy and made sure to bring the conversation back to an enjoyable tone. Anyway, the conversation concluded with her asking for my number and me suggesting that we should meet up later if she wasn’t doing anything. She agreed.

The Scheduled Meet up

This is when things got super interesting. About an hour after the meet up, we went back and forth via text message, joking around. It ended with me asking her a question about her drinking habits; I didn’t get a response. Oh, well, I figured. I’ve played this game before with other females. I learned that I can’t expect everyone to be connected to their phones like I am to mine these days, so I shrugged it off.

About two hours later, I sent another message that invited her to hang out with me. Again, I didn’t get a response…until 2 hours later. I received a, “hey.” Then nothing else followed. My curiosity got the best of me so I sent another text message about a half hour later asking her if she had messaged me, after which she replied, “yeah whats up?” So, I shrugged off the previous ignores and invited her to meet me at a local pub:

ME: “Let’s go to Fox and Hound. I want a salad and some wings.”
HER: “Ok give me a few like 15 20 minz”

After 50 minutes of her not showing (12:20 am), I still hadn’t received word from her, so I figured the meet up wasn’t going to happen. But just to confirm, I sent another text to ask whether or not she was coming, to which she replied yes. I didn’t get upset or anything because I’ve recently learned to accept that girls, especially young girls, are just inconvenient; I learned that she was 24 years old.
Besides, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have my own agenda at hand.
Then, at 12:35 am, I received the following:

“Im making a right or left off reames rd?”
“Can i spend da night?”

I was really fucked up at this point. I was asking myself, what’s really going on? I thought she was messing with me, but I told her, “right, yes, and I guess.” Not believing she was coming, I figured I’d turn in to bed after drinking my last Jack Daniels with Coke.
I fell asleep and about an hour later (1:19 am) I received another text that awakened me from my sleep:

“Almost there comin from south side”

I’m like, WTF? Really? So, I ignored the text and fell back to sleep. Then, one hour after that (2:12 am), I received another text message:

“Phone died had to charge”

Then I received a call from her shortly after. She sounded really sleepy, and told me that she was on her way. Again, I had my own agenda, so I decided that instead of punishing her by ignoring her calls and telling her to fuck off, I was going to punish her vagina when she got to the house.

Eventually, she showed up. To be sure I wasn’t being set up somehow, I made sure I went to the window to ensure that no one else had followed her and that no one else was in the car. After a few seconds of observation, she stepped out of her car, but I still saw movement which I recognized was coming from the dog that she had told me she had in our earlier conversation.

I immediately suspected that which I was dealing with; I had put it all together in my mind all before going outside to greet her.
By the time she came to the house, it was 2:40 am. She told me that her dog can stay in the car right before I invited her in. She looked very, very tired, but she attempted a smile. Other than asking her if she would like something to drink, I didn’t ask any questions. I gave her a glass of grapefruit juice and then a short tour of the house. Afterwards, I invited her to my bedroom where I handed her some wash and dry towels.

As she showered, I couldn’t help but to make sure that my office door was locked and that I hid my wallet.
When she came out of the shower, she came into the bedroom looking exhausted. She laid there on the bed next to me with her eyes shut, facing the ceiling, and attempted small talk. I simply told her that I’d just talk to her in the morning.

At this point, I couldn’t help but to imagine the men who would try to take advantage of this situation. I mean, I haven’t had sex in a few months, and here I had this young girl lying next to me in her night outfit. My desire to have sex was still present, but no longer with this young lady. I was overtaken by compassion and sorrow for this young lady. Only someone who is hurting inside would take such a risk as she did. It was unimaginable. I knew at that moment that I was dealing with someone who was displaced.
I watched her as she fell asleep, and then turned in to sleep myself.

The Breakfast Conversation

I got up in the morning and cooked breakfast for this young lady while she stayed in the bed resting; I cooked grits, eggs, breakfast sausage, and toast. Once breakfast was finished, I called her down to eat. I stood silent for a few minutes, and then I finally asked her, “Okay, disclosing as much or as little information as you want, what’s your story?”

To make a long story short, she had told me about how she has been sleeping at some of her co-workers’ place, off and on, for the past two months, and that she has even been sleeping in her car at times. She was evicted from her last apartment when she used her rent money to visit New Jersey, to attend her brother’s funeral and to help her family out. She further disclosed that she was about $200 from the $1400 needed to secure a new apartment, and she had hoped that she’d make the $200 on her upcoming work shift at a local pub.

She also shared a quick story about her dog…her friend. She told me that when she had her apartment she couldn’t get her dog to shut-up, but now, she can’t even get her dog to bark. In other words, even the dog had been affected by this displacement.

Again, I was overcome with compassion. Just this week I was cooking and serving breakfast at the Men’s Shelter of Charlotte. It was there that I served over one hundred seventy homeless men, and learned a few of their stories. After they ate breakfast, whether they had a place to go or not, they had to leave the Men’s Shelter and was not guaranteed a bed for that night unless they showed up between the hours of 5 to 7pm. The sympathy that I shared for them, I shared for this young lady. I couldn’t imagine being displaced, and taking whatever risk that was necessary in order to live comfortably, one day at a time.

I asked the young lady, “Why did you feel so comfortable to stay with me? I could be a serial killer and psychopath.” She responded, “Because you just seemed like a nice guy.”
I asked no other questions. Everything that she had told me connected well, as far as I was concerned. I didn’t have to remind her of the risks that she already knew that she was taking. Apparently, the risk-reward equation leaned more towards “reward” for her situation.

Because I had to go off to work, I told her that she had to leave my home even though her shift didn’t begin until 11:00 a.m. Of course, she had no problems with this arrangement. As we left the house, I invited her to my car and told her that I would give her some money towards securing her apartment. She never asked, and didn’t even hint at such a request, it was just something that I wanted to do. We took a short drive to the ATM and I pulled out $100 and then gave it to her.

We drove back to the front of my home where I told her good luck; she reached over to hug me and told me thanks. As she got into her car, I watched her as she started it and saw the joy that she and her dog shared in their reunion. Once I was positive that her car was running, I drove off and made my way to work.
When I hit the elevator to go to my office, I received the following text message from her:

“I gladly appreciate u!! Let me n ya lovly home let me shower n sleep comfortable n feed me and help me!! Thanks so much!!

I smiled. I put my phone away. And I was glad that I was able to help someone who has probably given up hope and seen worst days than I can only imagine.
Yesterday’s “approach” and subsequent results has given me a feeling that will last for quite some time, and this feeling is much more sensational than what I would have received if my focus and energy was aimed at receiving only sexual pleasure.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the last time that these fifth graders will hear this recurring theme–the pathway to success. So in a sense, this is the dream that they will follow. Despite the obstacles that will get in their way, they will shoot for the ultimate goal of having a good job, which often equates to good money, which undoubtedly equates to the ability to buy more things, that may or may not bring about happiness. Nevertheless, they will work their little asses off until they are “successful.”

On this path to success, though, since it is defined by going to college and then getting a good job, these kids will do whatever it takes to fulfill this requirement, even if it means taking on student loans without regard to the amount of debt that they will eventually find themselves in. After all, by the time they reach college age they, along with their parents, will also be brainwashed that student loans are considered “good debt.” With this in mind, the choice to attend college without regarding its total costs becomes much easier. The decision to attend the best, top, or most  prestigious college or university becomes an emotional, rather than a financial and logical choice. All that the student thinks to care about, since he has been brainwashed, is that these schools, although priciest, will provide a better opportunity of being successful.

Off to College 

As soon as the student steps foot on campus, he or she will be solicited to fill out credit card applications. Although the majority of the students will not have any source of income, it will be okay since they will be told to use their anticipated student loan refund checks, their scholarship stipends, or their parent’s monthly allowance as income. And of course it won’t matter to them because they have been brainwashed to understand that they must build credit and that building credit is a “good thing.”

Some of these students, however, are smart enough to outsmart the credit card companies, though. They will decide that they’ll apply for the cards but never purchase anything with them unless it is an emergency, which of course is the wisdom that they have heard at some point in their life; perhaps from their parents? But, little do they know, the cards that they’ll receive were packaged by clever businessmen. The cards that the student will decide to put away and to use only in an emergency will likely have an application or initial processing fee that the student won’t learn about until after he or she receives them in the mail. And what’s rather interesting is that usually the student doesn’t have money to pay the fee, so then he will be charged a late fee, which will also accrue interest, when he finds that he doesn’t have enough money to pay the bill.

Since the student will be forced to pay on the card now, why shouldn’t he use it “just a few times” on the weekend to purchase “food?” So, he does. He’ll purchase burgers, pizzas, fries, hot dogs, and everything else that is quick to eat but lacking in essential micro-nutrients. These typical late night “fast food” binges on credit, and the meals that are served in the college dining hall will definitely, physically fill the student up, but his body will be nutritiously deficient. Again, though, he will not understand the important link between his health and his diet since he has been brainwashed to think that as long as he is consuming protein, he is eating healthy.  The student probably has no idea what vitamins his body must consume, but thanks to the heavy marketing by Big Agriculture, he would certainly profess why he must eat all sorts of meats and drink milk because they are the “only” sources of protein.

When the college student gets sick, which is most likely from the foods that he has been eating, he’ll have no idea how to self-heal. He won’t understand the power of natural healing foods such as teas and green leafy vegetables because he has been programmed to run to the shelves of the local pharmacy to find “relief” for his symptoms. And of course, even though he doesn’t have any money, he’ll easily pay the $10 to relieve, not heal, his symptoms, because he has the credit card in his possession that he has already been using.

Ironically, and in the end, the cards that were issued to the student to build his credit will ultimately, likely destroy his credit. Before the student even graduates from his bachelor degree program, he will be riddled in both student loan and credit card debt that was accumulated all in the name of achieving success. And he will be fatter and most likely sicker than when he first stepped foot on campus. However, he’ll still find that this lifestyle is quite bearable at this point because he’s only a few steps away from completing the journey on his path to success; which ends at getting a good job. This means that there is light at the end of the tunnel. But at this point, ladies and gentlemen, we find the student nearing the American success dream, not realizing that he or she is more fucked than he or she realizes.

The student will find himself leaving college, hopefully at the end of only 4 years, with an average of $26,600 of student loan debt and $4,100 in credit card debt. He will be facing an unemployment rate of 3.9%, but not promised that the job that he finds will be a “good job.”  And he will likely spend up to 30% of his monthly income on debt repayments. These financial crisis are what the student will likely face prior to even “tuning the tassel.”

Soon, the student will have to face the real world that will only compound his financial problems. He has to find a way to secure a “good job, that he may or may not like; purchase a car that carries an average price of $30,000; pay for a wedding with an average cost of $28,427; purchase a home with an average price of $272,000; and eventually have children that cost an average of $235,000 to raise until they’re 18 years old, all while earning a income that will likely be close to the median U.S. household annual income of $52,762. But after acquiring these things, the student will eventually be…successful, right?

It’s been a while since I provided a personal expenses update, and the last one I provided in October 2012 was encrypted using percentages. I had extreme paranoia about revealing my actual income and expenses because of the following:

1. I think people will judge me more than they already do about my extreme frugal habits.
2. I fear friends and family will flock to me when they find themselves in a bind because of financial problems that they put themselves in.
3. And, I think women, if I decide to date again, will expect me to spend more money than I am willing, “just because” I can afford to do so, if they just so happen to “Google” me and subsequently find out how much I earn.

Well, today I don’t care. I’ve grown pretty confident in my ability to tell people to “go to hell” when I’m judged and to say “no” when asked for money. And women, yeah, I’m not going to let another woman dine on my dime again, unless I’m extremely confident that I’ll get some value from our interaction.

So, the following is my report, which was fueled by my curiosity to find out two things.

First, I wanted to see exactly the greatest amount of money I could save but still provide a comfortable lifestyle for me and my son.

Second, I wanted to see exactly how much I needed to earn on a monthly basis, in the event that I wanted to leave my job for something I loved doing more, assuming that money was no object.

Calculating my current savings rate

My actual take-home (monthly):

Work Income: $7,986.20
Rental Income: $1,100
Federal Taxes: $812.60
FICA Social Security: $377.62
FICA Medicare: $88.31
Total Take-home (before rental income taxes): $7,807.67

My actual monthly recurring obligations (March 2013):

Rental Property’s Mortgage: $1,142.30
Primary Home Mortgage: $646.58
Rental Property’s HOA fees: $70.41
Primary Home HOA fees: $43.92
Auto Insurance: $71.26
My cell phone (Unlimited data, text, messaging, iphone with Virgin Mobile): $53.63
School Lunches: $60.00
Life Insurance (2 term-life policies): $46.00
Netflix: $8.57
Gym Membership: $19.99
Auto Payment: $331.13
Electric Bill: $65.24
Gas Bill: $194.29
My son’s cell phone plan (250 minutes, iphone with Pageplus):  $12.00
Internet: $46.23
Hosting fees: $9.95
Pandora One (upgraded because I hate advertisements): $4.28

Total monthly bills: $2,825.79
Current monthly savings: $2,500
Left-over to spend: $2,481.88
Actual Current Savings Rate: Take-home/monthly savings = 32.01%

Calculating what I can realistically save

As you can see, I have an “extra” $2,481.88 monthly that I use for my other mandatory expenses such as groceries, and also for everything else; mainly traveling or “big-time” entertainment. I haven’t put myself on a budget for months now; I usually spend based on what I described in my October 2012 post. It boils down to spending how I want, when I want, as long as I have money in my spending account, even though I am usually careful to pay the least amount possible–always. This type of spending has encouraged me to arbitrarily assign myself A LOT of blow money. For example, I spent about $1,000 in one weekend last month just to hang out during “CIAA.”

But, if I realistically set and stuck to a budget, and stopped taking exotic excursions to places such as Punta Cana, the following is what I can actually save on a monthly basis if I dissect my spending money a bit more:

Setting and sticking to a budget:

Groceries: $300
Auto Fuel: $250
Thursday Dining-out: $100
Education/Books: $50
Clothing: $75
Household: $75
Entertainment: $150
Misc. expenses: $500
Total: $1,500

As I explained in the post, How do You Live Your Life So You Won’t Get Bored, my son and I have a “dining out” night every Thursday that we use for male bonding and discussing why the food that we are eating is poor for our health. This is why the $100 on dining-out would stay. I have the $150 allotted for entertainment because I like to drink my tequila…and vodka…and anything else with alcohol…on the weekends, at home. I may also occasionally go out by myself to eat a meal, which is why I have the $150 monthly for entertainment.

Thankfully, all of my hobbies, other than drinking alcohol and lifting weights are all free; reading, writing, and practicing Spanish. If I stuck to it, setting a budget of $1,500 would allow me to save an extra, $2,481.88-$1,500 = $981.88 monthly, which would bring me to a total monthly savings rate of 44.59% or, $41,782.56 per year.

So, a realistic savings rate that I can start next month could be: 44.59%

My final budget would look like this:

Total Bill Account: $2,825.79

Total Spending Account $1,500

Total Savings Account (Intermediate Bond Fund): $3,481.88

Calculating the maximum amount that I could realistically save:

And just for an additional reality check, I can get rid of the following expenses if I wanted to increase my savings rate even more:

School Lunches: $60.00
Gym Membership: $19.99
Auto Payment: $331.13
Hosting fees: $9.95
Pandora One: $4.28
Total “Extra” that could be saved: $425.35

I can start making my son pack his lunch instead of allowing him to eat the nastiness that’s served at his school, I can work-out using programs such as P90X at home, I can blog on a free platform like wordpress.com and listen to my music for free if I downgrade from Pandora One to Pandora, and, technically, I can get rid of my car payment by paying it in full today. This would increase the maximize amount of money that I could realistically save, and still provide a very comfortable quality of life for me and my son.

Current Savings: $2,500
Projected extra savings: $1,385.29
Additional possible projected savings: $425.35
Total Maximum Monthly Savings: $3,907.23
Total Annual Savings Possible: $46,886.76
Total Maximum Monthly Savings Rate: 50.04%

Conclusion

As shown, I can live a very comfortable life off of $4,300 monthly; this accounts for the expense of my blood-sucking rental property. When I finally sale the rental property, I’ll only need $3,100 monthly. So, I really only need to earn about $38,200 annually, not including medical insurance (taxes have already been taken out in the numbers above).

When I pay my car off, I will only need to earn $34,240 annually. And when I pay off my mortgage, only $26,512 annually is required, not including property taxes. This is the magic portfolio that I’m aiming for before I actually retire.

Paid for home. Paid for car. And a annual annuity of $30,000, whether it be from investment yields or a retirement pension.

My son and I live pretty damn comfortable now. Considering my up-bringing, and the fact that my income will only continue to grow, I am truly blessed to have had my life aligned in the matter that it has. It wasn’t easy, however, it has taken hard work, dedication, and a lot of trials and tribulations before getting to this comfortable point.

As you can see, I can easily “afford” a lavish home and to have many things. Yet, I do not. I live a pretty humble life, outside of my trips abroad that I love to take.

I save at the rate that I do because life is uncertain; I can lose my income earning ability tomorrow, so it’s best to save as much as I can while my salary is as high as it is, and while I still have my health.

I truly feel that I’m not missing out on anything. Everything material that is want is within my reach. Material things do not bring me happiness. And contrary to what you may think, money itself does not make me happy, either. What makes me happy is knowing that I’m working towards my goal of financial independence, and when reached, I’ll be set to do what truly makes me happy for the rest of my life; and that is, doing whatever I want, whenever I want.

Now, the question on whether or not I’ll increase my savings rate from 30% to 50.04% is a matter of whether or not (or how much rather) I’m willing to sacrifice my traveling abroad. Maybe I’ll just have to find a balance and settle somewhere at or around 40%. Maybe.