“Know that you will find joy after the trial. And that you will be happy and thankful that you have suffered.”

These are the words I got from a bowl of messages from St. Therese of The Child Jesus. I attended the mass when her relics were brought to the Shrine of St. Therese 2 days before I gave birth to Summer Maria. At that time I was on the verge of impatience as my hands and feet and belly were so swollen waiting for the big day to come. Gladly it only took a few days before I got wheeled to the delivery room.

True enough, I can only be thankful that the worst is over. But that’s getting ahead of the birth story. Here’s the blow-by-blow account:

April 15, 2013. Breaking water bags don’t always make a sound – or a river

4:10am. Remember those TV commercials when women would see flowing water through their legs? Or those mothers who tell you that you’ll hear a sound once your water bag breaks? They’re not always true. I just had my panties soaking wet, I thought it was the regular discharge brought on by pregnancy. Nevertheless, I called my OB and she instructed me to change. If the wetness continues within 10 minutes, I should call her again. So it did happen again, but stopped quickly. I didn’t make the call until around 6am.

6:00am. Contractions started 5:00am and lasted for an hour. It came every 5 minutes. They were tolerable – much like dysmenorrhea (menstrual cramps). I don’t usually get them when I have my period so the pain that morning was very distinct compared to belly contractions I felt days before labor day. Some women’s nesting instinct would mean making some quick house clean-up or storing food in the fridge. I’ve had that for weeks already. But on this particular morning, I could not resist the temptation to lather tuna spread on my pandesal for my breakfast! Haha! I figured if I go into labor today, I need food for energy.

Then, I finally called my doctor. She asked if I wanted to head to the hospital. I’m actually booked for an appointment with her that day by 1pm. So I just said I’ll wait until I cannot hold it any more and I’ll probably check in before 1pm. And of course she agreed. OBs do not want women na 1cm dilated pa lang. Hehe.

7:00am. In between contraction intervals: I took a bath, packed additional items to my hospital bags, texted family and friends that we’re anticipating the birth today. My aunt came after a few minutes to check on me. Husband and I were still watching TV that time. I could not believe I actually made it until sweldo day (the 15th) before giving birth hehe.. Mother’s instinct, I guess. I had an inkling I will give birth on the 15th.

Stronger, Closer, Longer: Contractions that spell labor!

So my aunt asked how far in between am I getting the contractions. I said, it’s every 5 minutes. She was surprised I’m still not heading out the door! I was actually planning to get out by 8am, but she insisted that Romer should get a cab now na! I think sineryoso ko talaga ang “Don’t rush to the hospital until you can’t bear it anymore.” Hehehe! Obviously, I didn’t know what kind of pain I was waiting for.

7:30am. Out the door and into the cab ride. Warning: Do not try to wait any longer if you’re giving birth on a Monday and you’re Makati-bound. The traffic spares no mercy even for cars with pregnant passengers!!

8:00am. Emergency Room check-in. I remember getting out of the cab and asking the guard for a stretcher. Haha! Until now I can’t believe they made me stand there at the hospital door waiting for the wheel chair. There wasn’t one outside, so an aid had to get one inside pa. I felt terrified! Husband was in full charge of our belongings and documents to show to the ER staff.

8:30am. First IE – 3cm dilated. Signed some papers for epidural procedure. Got hooked to an IV. The ER Nurses at St. Clare Medical in Makati were nice and efficient. Husband was busy giving out the admission slip from our doctor and made the initial cash deposit.

9:00am. I got wheeled to the labor room. Everyone was kind to me. Luckily, I was the only patient there. I got the fetal monitor device strapped onto me. They were checking my contractions, too. From my doctor’s orders, they made me take Buscopan via IV to help me dilate.

Doctors come in groupies

9:30am. My OB Dra. Lynn Ramirez-Amurao has arrived in the labor room. She was calm and did an IE immediately: 6-7 cm na! She asked for the nurses to get me sedated so I can rest during contractions. She also phoned the anesthesiologist  These doctors, they are a tag team: from the OB – to the Anes – to the Pedia. Parang SEO team lang

12 noon. I was under sedation, thank God. Labor was tolerable. When the anesthesiologist has arrived, I was given the epidural. Yes, it was painful and makes you feel cold. I was bent into a fetal position as the needle was inserted at my back. It was okay. A nurse was there to comfort me during the procedure. They didn’t numb me 100% from the waist down. I had sensations on my right leg every time the baby’s head descends. I got back into a lying position afterwards.

Epidurals also have side effects

I was told the baby is moving back upwards again because the pain reliever relaxed my muscles. And so I was asked to go back from a lying position to the previous fetal position.

It was lunch break when I felt that the pain was already too much in my right leg. That means baby is ready to be out. I was lucky to spot my doctor when she passed by my bed. I called on to her and told her, “Ang sakit na doc!”

Delivery Room Drama

1:00pm. My OB checked the baby’s head – it was ready to go. But she noticed its heartbeat was fluctuating! The horror! That was when she called every one to move fast, fast, fast! She instructed the nurse to increase my oxygen supply so the baby can breathe more. They wheeled me immediately to the delivery room. I fought the panic by praying. I didn’t want to give in to the danger. I know God promised me this baby.

No to C-Section No Matter What!

1:00-1:30pm. They got me shaved, legs spread out and lifted up. Since there was no other patient giving birth, the whole nursing team was onto me. Yes, everybody saw me down there – except me! I was getting exhausted from the pain of my right leg. Confused at the same time because I’m not quite sure how to push (So for all FTMs, I suggest you get yourself into a birthing class!).

My muscles were tensed. I was instructed to inhale deeply, then hold my breath for 10 seconds while pushing. No sound to produce (ano ‘to, Scientology??). Everything they said about giving birth was true – Mahirap, at buwis-buhay! I couldn’t hold my breath for 10 counts. I had to gasp for air in the middle of the counting because I just couldn’t take it any more. One of the male nurses had to push my stomach (like what you do sa toothpaste) to assist my pushing. It was terrible, I was about to puke every time he did that. The doctor asked him to stop for a while and allow me to ‘make bwelo‘ and push by myself. I felt relieved but after 3 pushes, I still can’t get my baby out into the world.

Then the OB blurted out, “I’m telling you pag in 15 mins hindi pa ito makalabas i-ccs kita. Konting-konti na lang. Ilabas mo pa ng konti yung head and I can get it out. Tiisin mo lang. Kanina ang galing mo mag push.“

Oh my God, I really did not want to have an emergency C-section. 15 minutes na lang, I should DO IT! THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. I was praying desperately – asking for Mama Mary’s intercession. I knew I needed help. Thoughts came running into my mind: I have to get my baby alive. I have to give my husband his child.

“Suddenly I realized how grateful we all should be to our own mothers. Words are simply not enough to tell you how a mother can willfully risk her life for her child and family.”

Even though there were points in time during the whole saga when I wanted to call it quits and just give in to a CS procedure, I knew in my heart I just have to give it ONE MORE PUSH!

I hear my doctor repeatedly say, “Romela, tiisin mo yung pain. Isipin mo yung baby mo. Kung nahihirapan ka, mas nahihirapan sya .” And so I called on to the whole team, “Okay everyone, let’s do this one more time!” I had to say that every time I feel the contractions coming again. You only push when there is a contraction. My OB had to cut me deep (skin and muscles from the vajayjay then a bit angled to my right butt muscle so it won’t reach the anus. Sorry TMI. 4th degree episiotomy ito – the most painful one!). I shouted, “Ang saket!!!” That was the anesthesiologist’s cue: Additional pain reliever, please!

My OB had to resort to cutting me so the forceps can enter and lock into my baby’s head. Note that not all normal deliveries require getting a cut. In my case, I was really having a hard time pushing. Finally after like my nth push in time, my baby’s head engaged and the forceps got locked in.

Then I felt a very warm sort of air getting released out of me as I saw my baby up into the world! She didn’t immediately cry for a few seconds. Then after a while, that was when I heard her wail out loud. Thank you, Jesus!

1:37pm. Summer Maria Ortega has gotten out of her placenta shell

Nurses are great in anticipating events. In just a few seconds, I saw my red digital camera being flashed onto me and my baby. That was the first time I saw her up close. I think I smirked a bit, haha! I didn’t know if I should smile or throw a tantrum after all that was done to me. Hehehe!

But I was just.so.relieved.

My OB and a nurse spent some more time stitching me up. I didn’t feel anything. I was so sleepy and I felt my tummy deflated. I was still a bit awake when I heard my OB say that she’ll note down sa Philhealth na “Assisted Birth” instead of “NSD” so I can get a bigger discount. She had to use the forceps, kasi.

Ay salamat naman. At least hindi ako na-cs… may discount pa! What I didn’t know was the pain that was to endure. All my mommy friends tell me how painful it is to labor and give birth. But no one has told me about the pain of episiotomy. I’ll save this one in another post.

2 hours I spent inside the recovery room. My nurses are now having their lunch. My husband has seen our new bundle of joy. And me? Oh well, I was always half-asleep and eager to see my husband and baby. Take note, I gave birth without our parents with us in the hospital. It was just me and Romer. I felt so grown-up!

To cap it off, I just want to say that God is good. He delivers on time – and makes all things new.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 

- 2 Corinthians 5:17

And now that I’m soon to pop my first baby in just a few weeks short of a full month, you can imagine the stress of having to wait, wait, and wait!! Even if my OB says she can induce me to give birth on my preferred date, it’s still the best idea to wait until the little one (and my body) are ready for the big day.

Me @37 weeks going on 38 now. Notice that my belly is still up too high – and yes, I’m so swollen!!

All my mommy-friends have advised me to get more sleep as much as I can because once the baby arrives, I’ll be joining the zombie party. To make waiting easier, I’ve also been told to move around and walk daily. This they say can help me get the baby into position towards my cervix. Seriously, I’m thinking of getting into a treadmill just to get on with the birth as soon as possible. The only thing stopping me from doing so is the fact that I still have a bunch of SEO reports to submit. Quite anxious about leaving work assignments actually, despite turning over my files in sharp detail = Hashtag, #OC.

Anyway, just to be a bit of help for FTMs (first-time-moms) like me, I’ve sorted out a 15-item checklist to accomplish in case waiting has gotten the best of you in this crucial pre-mom time of your life:

1. Wash and iron baby clothes
2. Prepare all your baby’s stuff in his/her cabinet or room
3. Prepare hospital bag. You can refer to this list (promise essentials lang yan)
4. Sort out all healthcare and legal documents to bring in separate envelopes/folders
5. Make sure you have extra copies of your birth plan, admission slip from the OB, ultrasound results
6. Make sure your digital camera is ready for the big event.
7. Stock up on groceries & frozen meals in preparation for your return from the hospital
8. Enlist household or nanny help while you still have time
9. Contact neighbours/friends/relatives who are willing to drive you to the hospital in case hubby’s not around
10. Walk around the neighbourhood/park/even inside your own home to boost your energy levels
11. Spend time with your husband. Go on dates while you still can
12. Sleep more
13. Finish a project you’ve been meaning to accomplish (i.e. reading a book, learning a new recipe, baking, arts & crafts, etc.)
14. Some women continue working while in their 9^th month. I still work – but from home now.
15. Pray that everything will be swift and safe!

Anyway, I stumbled upon this post by The Family Woman about the Meaning of Suffering. I think the message is timeless

We can no longer count the many marriages that have been dissolved because one or both partners could not keep up with the suffering any more. And families drifting apart because nobody understood the reason why they had to go through so much pain and sacrifice.

I once read that happiness isn’t the goal of marriage – but the constant, daily consecration of two people bound in marriage. It is meant to sanctify, purify you. And just how can a person achieve that if s/he will be devoid of the character-molding fire of suffering? Faith while suffering is the very element that makes a wife endure what she though she couldn’t. It is dying to oneself that leads a husband to be faithful to his call of servant-leadership in the home.

I do not know how I will cope or react once big trials come our way as husband and wife. All I know is that there is a God who sustains us in all our hardships. A priest once said that people often pray for deliverance quickly, instead of perseverance. What we do not know is that God wants us to persevere and to cling to Him – because that is what will deliver us from everything we go through.

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Since we’re both full-time employees, the usual morning routine would be:

1. Pick up phone alarm
2. Kiss your husband good morning
3. Take a bath and fix myself absentmindedly
4. Kiss husband good bye and rush out the door

My husband has a more flexible time at work and clocks in at around 10am in the office. So most of the time when I leave for work, his eyes are still shut while assisting me to get past the door and stairs. I’m not sure if I should be the one to assist him instead!

Then I realize that I am missing out on the opportunity to serve him breakfast and yes – romance him in the morning. I’m a big breakfast eater myself and I usually do it while checking emails on my desk. I don’t rush when eating even if I multitask so I still think we’ve got a good morning habit in there. In contrast is my husband’s routine. He just drinks coffee or a cereal drink – or he can even make do without eating breakfast. The consequence? Overeating during lunch and dinner! Not good for his goal of getting more in shape and energetic before the baby arrives.

So you can imagine how great it is to finally have an additional half-hour or even an hour every morning to prepare breakfast for both of us before I Skype my boss. Add to that is the chance to bond even more as husband and wife. When you get married, you gotta try this if life permits. Before you start facing the world, it’s so good to talk to your spouse about your plans for the day and the thoughts you have over the past days. It keeps both of you on the same page and it makes each one aware of what the other is going through. I love that before anything else I can encourage my husband when he’s going through a tough time. And of course, it feels good to give and receive additional affection from your spouse – apart from good morning, good bye, good night hugs and kisses

Romance as a dimension of Marriage

I used to think that “romance” is such a trivial dimension of love. As we learn from experience, we realize that love is not an emotion – but a deliberate decision to stick with the person no matter what. So that puts romance to a slightly lower kind of loving. But there is one thing that romance can boast off – it adds ‘sizzle’ in any relationship. Sizzle – meaning warmth, intimacy, and connection between a married couple. It makes you feel secured that the other person will always be the other half of you…  the one who’s meant to be your lover, best friend, lifetime partner. When Romer and I get to some awkward silence after a conflict, a warm hug is usually all that it takes to break the ice. So romance has a way of leading you both to a lighter path and a better mood.

But romancing your husband isn’t always easy. There are days when you are all spent to spare time and energy for the man in your life. Or it could be that there’s an issue, an elephant in the room that needs to get kicked out and you don’t feel all lovey-dovey at the moment. It’s a bigger challenge too, when both of you are hurting after a big fight, or after so many years of growing distant and calloused towards one another (usually the case in older marriages).

Reflecting on Romance

This Lent, let’s take time to reflect on what is it that’s stopping us to “romance” our spouse. Is it pride? Lack of time or affection? How about a nagging hurt inside you against your husband/wife?

Think about this: Would Jesus withhold His love for us despite being condemned and scarred up to His death?

Maybe if we think about romance in a way of doing a form of service to one another, and realize that ultimately it is something that can do more good for our marriage – it would’t be so hard after all.

This is actually an earlier shot – 32 weeks, I think

I’m at the tail end of my pregnancy and things are really taking shape! Aside from my growing bump, you can expect to see my hands and feet getting a bit swollen! I thought I could fight it but it turns out, it is something normal during the last trimester especially when your due date nears.

I’ve also grown to be insomniac – waking up in the middle of the night to pee AND to THINK! I don’t know why but my mind goes active at night despite physical exhaustion. Then it becomes hard to fall back to sleep. Fatigue is coming in more frequently because of the added weight. I sleep a lot lately – but it’s hard to get started due to the discomfort and breathlessness.

But – I have more things to be thankful for. One is the fact that I have finally completed baby stuff shopping – yehey! Big thanks to all my friends and relatives who brought in their gifts and hand me-downs. I have to especially thank my cousin who has accompanied me to go to this Baclaran mall in order to raid the wholesale baby stores! Low prices, but quality merchandise! Turns out these stores supply the many things you’ll also find in the malls.

Also, I have to credit my mom who has taken on the job of washing all the baby’s stuffs for me! Having a laundry shop and your own line of detergent have its perks! So thanks, mom! And as early as 34 weeks I have completed packing the hospital bags for the baby, me, and the hubby (Yes, women are 100 steps ahead!)

And I think I deserve the “best in reading award” for downing 2 prenatal books by this time. In fact, I can now treat myself for some less serious read: Shopaholic & Baby! I highly recommend this to be read in between labor contractions because it’s just so funny!

Borrowed from @iammmei

I’m also very thankful that I can finally start working from home! It is true, “Ask and it will be given to you.” At first, I was quite hesitant to ask my employers for a work-from-home set-up as early as month-8 in the pregnancy. I fear they might think I’m making my condition an excuse to slack it off. But really, it’s soooooooooo difficult to commute when your legs are cramping and your feet are swollen after a 5-minute walk. I’m just very thankful that they have been understanding of my situation since day 1. I hope this working set-up lasts until forever – hahaha!

But most of all, my husband and I are most grateful to the Lord for assuring us that the baby is healthy inside. My OB asked for a biophysical ultrasound scan a few weeks ago because it seemed like the babe is quite small for her age inside my tummy. The scan results all turned out normal and the little one is active and healthy. We all figured it is the usual case of a petite mom-to-be, hence a smaller baby. That’s a good thing according to my doctor because there’ll be less chances of a CS operation. I dread that the most! Really praying my body will cooperate to get the baby out in the world in the way nature has designed it to be.

Now, I can relax more.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- Philippians 4:13

It is a relief that we have not gotten into some deep trouble in our marriage – yet. But ours isn’t free from mistakes, arguments, and sins against each other. One thing that struck me (and convinced me) to write about this topic is an email read from OMF Lit just yesterday.

Reading this has made me realize how important forgiveness is in a relationship, more so in a marriage. One cannot stay married unless one is willing to change, and the other – to forgive. And forgiving is hard, right? Especially when the hurt is too much or if the sin committed is repeated again and again. But a lot of marriage experts say that there is no other way to succeed in marriage unless both parties learn to forgive one another.

Here’s the email message:

No one is married to a perfect spouse. Annoyances and hurts are guaranteed.  To maintain peace in the marriage, should couples keep silent or should they get into a heated discussion? In this excerpt from the Gintong Aklat award winning The Honeymoon Never Ends, Nelson Dy lists at least three things couples need to consider.

Is the offense an innocent mistake or is it something done deliberately and/or regularly?

It is one thing when, one night, the husband forgot to buy some groceries that his wife had asked him to buy; it is another when he yells at her every night. Definitely, the behavior of the second husband has to be dealt with. But there are women who would tell the first husband, “You always forget! I really can’t rely on you!” and forget that, overall, he is really a wonderful guy (definitely not one who yells). So, rather than logging the forgotten groceries on the minus side of the scorecard, she should just drop the matter.

Is tolerating the offense detrimental not only to you, but also to your spouse?

Let’s go back to the yelling husband. You may be expecting me to counsel the wife to simply turn a deaf ear, smile sweetly and forgive him. I would give no such counsel, because I don’t think we should leave it at that. True, she may be remarkably patient now; but I suspect that the husband’s shouting will get into her nerves. Her unhappiness and stress will build up, and it will only be a matter of time before she explodes, breaks down and flees.

Furthermore, to allow the husband to raise his voice at her is to perpetuate in him an immature and ultimately sinful state. I believe that the “one flesh” concept of marriage includes a mystery that when a husband hurts his wife, he is also hurting himself.  The wife does the husband no favors if she sees him doing wrong and does not correct him.

Is the offense just a matter of personal preference or is it a clear sin?

A husband may be rankled that his wife keeps squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle when he wants it squeezed from the end. But he crosses the line if he scours the Bible for a verse that shows her idiosyncrasy to be at par with cold-hearted murder. Similarly, if it is an idiosyncrasy that I can live with,

I don’t even have to keep a scorecard for it.

Here is the crux of the matter: To burn the scorecard is to choose to forgive rather than nurture resentment. I am not saying burning the scorecard is easy. It is not like waving some magic wand and the hurt disappears. It just doesn’t work that way. It helps, though, to keep the bigger picture in mind: Which would you rather have, feel the pain of letting the spouse of the hook now and dance in liberation from bitterness tomorrow; or indulge in the pain of offense and in fantasies of vengeance today, tomorrow, next month, next year…and see your marriage deteriorate before both your and your spouse’s eyes?

You might be asking: If marriage is all about forgiving the other despite the hurt – is marriage just about suffering? And how about your own happiness?

But is happiness God’s ultimate goal in marriage?  Being happy in marriage is possible and happiness will be the fruit of those who follow God’s plan for marriage.  But happiness is not God’s primary goal for marriage…. God’s primary goal for marriage is holiness… When both the husband and wife determine to define their marriage by holiness, the ultimate result becomes happiness.  

- Pierre Eade

During our pre-cana seminar, our wedding presiding priest asked us, “Did you know that the lack of respect is the number one cause of marital separation? It’s not money, and not even infidelity. It is the lack of respect.”

I remember this recently when a friend has posted something about her one and only desire: to find a man who will accept her for what she is – and she is glad that she’s found that man. Well and good. But really, let’s be honest here: Is acceptance all we can ever ask from our (potential) lifetime partners? Isn’t that a non-negotiable to begin with? Isn’t it that we are supposed to accept people as they are – regardless if we are romantically involved with them or not?

I’d say more than finding a man who will accept me for who or what I am – I’d go for someone who will respect me and treat me like a queen – and someone who can earn my respect, as well. That’s the clincher these days. It’s so easy to say “I accept you for who you are.. even if sometimes you irritate me and so I can’t help but raise my voice over you in public.” DUH.

Respect sets the bar higher for both men and women contemplating marriage. It isn’t just about accepting the good and the bad about your partner. It is valuing the other person still - despite of the bad.

How does a wife show respect to her husband? I found this list:

1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree.
4. Ask for his help.
5. Let go of the small stuff.
6. Tell him you love and respect him, and that you like him.
7. Give him some space for his hobbies
8. Show him that you respect him and trust him.
9. When you go out together don’t bring up problems.
10. Focus your attention on what he’s doing right.
11. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
12. Be happy and positive when he comes home.
13. Give him half an hour to unwind after work.
14. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully.
15. Defend him to any family member who tries to dishonor him.
16. Compliment his efforts above his performance.
17. Seek his advice when you face challenges.
18. Set and work on goals together.
19. Don’t over commit yourself, leave some time for him.
20. Be forgiving when he unintentionally offends you.
21. Find ways to show him you need him. Guys need to be needed.
22. Don’t fill his every spare moment with chores.
23. Peel away your pride and admit your mistakes.
24. Rub his neck and shoulders when he is stressed.
25. If he wants to talk, listen and ask viewpoint questions.
26. Express appreciation for his hard work.
27. Tell him you are proud of him for the person he is.
28. Give advice in a loving way; do not nag him.
29. Reserve some energy for him when he wants you sexually.
30. Don’t expect him to spend all his time on honey do projects.
31. Commend him for being a good man.
32. Brag about him to other people even when he’s not there.
33. Share your feelings with him but keep it abbreviated.
34. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
35. Honor him and show your respect in front of everyone.

The complete list of 67 can be found here.

I cannot say I am respectful 100% of the time. Sometimes and unintentionally, I know I have offended or disrespected my husband in one way or another – ah my friends would attest to this, haha! But more than anything else, I know I have found a man to respect and I am treated just the same.

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
- Ephesians 5:33

A side note to single ladies: This is the thing with women. We cannot put a man in high regard if he cannot respect us. Power-tripping, insecure, or abusive (verbally/physically/financially!) boyfriends should be a red flag – unless you are OK with settling for less.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
- Ephesians 5:28

I’m doing the wife edition (and maybe next year, the Mom edition )

My husband doesn’t know about this yet, but I’d like to chronicle my first struggles/issues/victories/lessons as a wife to him, specifically this Lenten season. We have always spent the Holy Week apart during our single days. Now is a first like our first Christmas and New Year as husband and wife.

I’d like to touch on common issues that young wives face in this modern age – from submission, to control issues, to contentment, to household management, to what it’s like to fight constructively, etc. Take note though that I’m no expert on this I’m just using my blog as a medium to journal and convey a message from the heart. So for any marital advice – there are tons of other resources to go to, hehehe! This one is just my take on the subject.

And in prayer, I hope I can be of help even for a short while and in my own small ways to a precious someone called a wife

(and maybe I can help husbands, too. Hihi!)

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
- Proverbs 18:22

Tagged: Lent, married life, wife ]]> http://romzkeepomski.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/lenten-fridays-wife-edition/feed/ 0 romzkeepomski lenten fridays wife edition http://romzkeepomski.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/lenten-fridays-wife-edition/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/romzkeepomski/~3/N7S4qDwr5Sg/ http://romzkeepomski.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/who-will-be-the-next-pope/#comments Tue, 19 Feb 2013 05:52:20 +0000 romzkeepomski http://romzkeepomski.wordpress.com/?p=1044 Continue reading →]]> Last night, the husband is wishing I would agree to have cable TV installed in the house. The reason: He wants to watch the upcoming Vatican conclave in March. I think I will give in despite my uncanny ability to live sans TV because me too, is excited to see Cardinal and Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Tagle (fondly known as Bishop Chito to former/present Imus-Cavite folks like us) – participate in the election of the 112th Pope.

Going for Bishop Chito

A lot of Catholic Filipinos are rooting for him to be Pope. Others are skeptical, though. My take is that it is really a long-shot-way-from-the-back-door-route for Bishop Chito to reach the Papacy. As he said he is just a “newbie” cardinal, and has been Archbishop of Manila for only over a year. Although not to discount the fact that he is indeed capable of the role. He is young, vibrant, has the ideal balance between the progressive and conservative Catholic paradigms, and is really – very humble. When he got appointed as Manila Archbishop, even the Church’s critics never doubted his capacity to listen and to stay humble. Add to that is his notable level of intelligence. In the Ateneo, he is known to be the only contender to Dr. Jose Rizal’s grades. Even in his completed studies abroad, the minimum award he received was that of a magna cum laude. Despite his achievements, Bishop Chito is ever humble. Ever lacking the desire for entitlements garnered for high office, he would ride a jeep around Imus and mingle with anyone.

Upon becoming the highest head of Church in the country, he is the first to reiterate that one has to go back to the poor communities because the Church is for the poor. That is something refreshing when most Filipinos think the Catholic Church is all ceremonies with no genuine heart to listen and be one with the underprivileged. I remember him saying during the epic debate and people-bashing era of the RH bill that if we do not have love for one another, then we can just go on hurting our brothers more. He called for kindness and respect regardless of one’s position on the issue. That statement was truly a reflection of his personality. If there is one priest who would say that, it would really be him. On the other hand, I think he is also too “mabait” to a fault because I never heard him reprimand bishops and priests who use their homilies to name-drop and bash certain politicians. But he was firm in putting into jail/investigation those erring priests who were charged of sexual abuse. Not covering up for them – ever.

Pressure is on us

If ever Cardinal Tagle becomes Pope, oh it will be tremendous pressure for the country! For sure our lawmakers will not just think twice but a hundred times before they push for a controversial bill (i.e. divorce bill), minding the greater power the Church has attained.

For the PH society in general, I think we would have a lot of eyes watching us deal with our own societal evils – ever questioning the faith of our countrymen. Pressure ito!

And I really think the Catholic Church in the Philippines will face more challenges and criticisms more than ever. It can be a purifying experience, though.

It will be given to us if God wills it.

My husband thinks the next Pope is a Filipino. I told him insiders and Pope Benedict XVI’s closest aids think otherwise – it’ll come from Latin America or Africa where the Catholic faith is the strongest and most prevalent. Their cardinals might win the conclave’s favor because of their experience and the sheer number of their faithful flock.

However, we cannot discount the seemingly surprising notice of our country in terms of church affairs in recent times. One is the rise of Bishop Chito as Archbishop of Manila; his confirmation from the Vatican as cardinal; and of course the sainthood of Pedro Calungsod. The trend seems to point us in the direction of the Papacy – assuming much! Hehehe! I still think it’s a long, long, long stone throw’s away.

At the end of it all, I believe the ultimate decision is out of our hands – not even with the conclave of bishops in Rome. They can only reach a certain point to do so much. Only God’s will shall prevail in the end. And whoever becomes the next Pope, I’m sure the Catholic world will rejoice no less.

Pregnancy Blues: Third Trimester

So this week has been a circle of emotions and thoughts for me, particularly taking center stage is my growing pregnancy. I feel enormously pregnant now at 29 weeks! I have difficulty breathing, standing up, and going about my daily commute to work. What the world doesn’t know is I’m sinking into pre-natal depression. A lot have been talked about post-natal depression but very little about the pre-birth one. Reading online, I learned that 1 in 10 preggos experience this during pregnancy.

Symptoms include:

• inability to concentrate
• anxiety
• extreme irritability
• sleep problems
• extreme or unending fatigue
• a desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all
• a sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun any more
• persistent sadness

I won’t elaborate further which ones are on my check list. Let’s just say, I have majority of those symptoms. Despite trying my best to stay positive with the help of my husband of course, I still am human and fall into my weakness. Even if we’ve been looking forward to Sunday’s baby shower and the shopping for the babe task (which should sound enjoyable) – I am just.so.tired.of.being.pregnant

This is the expectation, LOL! And should actually make me excited. But yeah, pregnancy blues do set in…

Work Uncertainties

I feel blessed that I have a job and my maternity needs are pretty much covered by my employee benefits. However, I still worry about (and I know this is futile) of the work set-up after I give birth. Will my employer allow me to work from home on an extended period? Will the quality of my work be affected? And the most pressing question is – will I ever get back my drive to perform excellently after the baby? I won’t deny there are more days when I just want to cut some slack and get my mind off work. Sometimes my job isn’t appealing to me anymore even if I know I need it and that it is helping us get through month after month.

There have been some nice offers I am itching to take simply because work is home-based. The trade off is that they will not cover any government privilege like Philhealth, SSS, etc. Not even sure if my maternity leave will sit well with them considering I just joined ship. So that’s the dilemma. OR MAYBE I AM WORRYING TOO MUCH, but God has a plan in place naman.

I envy other women who seem so strong to overcome these worrying, lack-of-passion-to-work-tendencies-and-all-the-while-pregnant-phase! It takes so much strength for me to really admit that hey, I don’t have it all figured out.

Longing for Married Friends

No pressure intended girls, but you know it would really be nice to hang out with some married couple friends. The problem is, we only have a few and they live far away from us. Most of our common friends are still singles, couple friends who are still boyfriend-girlfriend. No one to chat up with, to exchange notes with, or to set weekly prayer meetings with. I know my husband sometimes gets bored staying at home and relishes the time he gets to spend with the boys. But you know, as a couple – we need a circle, a community of young couples to interact with now that we’re beginning a crucial stage in our lives.

To all our SFC couple friends – Please, get yourselves married!!  Jowk lang

<End of Rant, TGIF!>