Route 66 - A Blog by Peter Butcher

Here we are again

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 21:26:00 +0000

It's been a long time. What with one thing and another, personal writing seems to have taken a serious back seat over the past few months. The book is still stuck at chapter 61 and probably never will see the light of day now, which is a shame. But you never know. Meanwhile, much of my creative energy has been taken up by editing the Hornchurch programme, a new task this year. It's been more than 20 years since I last did a programme and the advance in technology seems to have made it harder work, rather than easier. And the latest effort will never see the light of day either, since tomorrow's game was called off in time to stop the print run. Grrrr...

I haven't been directly involved with a club for more than 20 years, either, so that's been interesting. I've been going to all the Hornchurch home games (including reserves) and quite a few aways. There have been some ups and downs, the oddest up being the 8-2 FA Cup win after which the opposing goalkeeper was chosen as the FA's man of the round.

So I won't be visiting all 66 Ryman clubs this year (though the count so far is 23) and, although that's a bit disappointing, I admit that I don't miss the regular cross-London journeys through nightmarish traffic.

This sudden return to blogging action(and, as ever, I hope to be more regular in future) was provoked by a couple of emails telling me that some bloke calling himself James had spammed one of my earlier offerings with some rubbish about places to stay in Brazil. If this blog is important enough for this pillock to advertise on it, I'd better get it moving again. And, James, I will advertise almost anything you like in return for some consideration, in cash or kind. Aren't Jaguars great cars (ahem, you listening, Mr Jaguar)?

So, the World Cup doesn't come to England in 2018 (and therefore, probably, not again in my lifetime). Did anyone seriously believe that it would? But we've had it before, so have Spain, and Holland/Belgium have had it next door on numerous occasions. So, in footballing terms (let's not consider politics or the voting system), Russia was the right choice.

Qatar, though. Blimey. Again, Japan, Korea and the US have had it recently, so it was Qatar v Australia. No contest, you'd think. I suspect the hand of the big TV companies, making it clear that they would pay a lot less for a World Cup kicking off at such unsocial (European hours). Of course, Qatar are filthy rich and I'm sure it'll give you a warm feeling to know that you'll be paying for 2022 as you cough up £1.25 for a litre of petrol by next month (probably) and heaven knows how much by 2022.

Talking of Australia, tee hee. Better laugh now because who knows what the next few hours will bring. That first over last night was funnier than Fawlty Towers ever was. I watched an hour or so, went to bed, got up about 5, watched a bit of Hussey and Haddin, then went back to bed at the start of the over where Swann took two wickets. Can't win them all. Am I getting old (well, yes, I am, obviously), or did anyone else feel uncomfortable about the cavorting that followed Ponting's departure? Respect, please, gents.

Two Ryman League games left tomorrow at time of writing. Do Wealdstone really believe their pitch will be fit or did they not get the email allowing clubs to call off games today (it was sent out first thing this morning, but didn't reach me until 6 o'clock tonight for some electronic reason)? It looks like a Saturday afternoon at home. Ugh.

Yes, I'm mad. It's official.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 09:08:00 +0000

Here we are again. It has been 20 days since my last confession. That was on the evening of Good Friday and that was the last evening I spent at home. Since then, between the heavy Ryman League catch-up programme and the early-season speedway fixtures, I've been at a football match or a speedway meeting every night except two Sundays, and on them we were out till late visiting friends. Perhaps those two Sundays prove that I'm not totally sad, though the esteemed league vice-chairman Nick Robinson, finding out that I was at Ashford v Worthing last night, texted me the succinct message "You're mad". He may have a point.

The news you've been waiting for is that yes, I did complete my tour of the 66 Ryman League clubs at Fleet on Easter Saturday. With a 0-0 draw. Despite that, it's been great fun.

Nagging at the back of my mind, though, was the thought that I'd only seen League Cup games at Ashford and Thamesmead, and the match I saw at Harlow was abandoned after 20 minutes. So, to keep it pure, I had to revisit those three for league, or complete, games (hence last night's 'madness', which completed the revisits).

I also, if you recall from the last blog but one, conceived the idea that I could watch 100 league games by the end of the season. At the time I reckoned I could manage 102 (which, again, would keep it pure, allowing for two abandoned matches). As it turned out, despite further problems with postponements, I'll also reach that target. Tonight, in fact, when Horsham have pulled a flanker by arranging to play Aveley at Crawley. Now I've convinced myself that I can't miss a ground where a Ryman League match has been played, so it's off to Broadfield. Mind you, with Aveley chasing a play-off place, I'd have gone anyway. Why Crawley? Because, believe it or not, Horsham's ground (well, Horsham YMCA's ground) is booked for a blood donor session. Don't know where I'll be on Saturday but it should make a grand total of 103 Ryman League matches. Is that a record?

After that and the play-offs things should start calming down on the football front, though local Essex Olympian League side Harold Wood Athletic still have 11 (yes, 11) league games to play. I suspect I might venture to one or two of them.

I notice, however, that if there are no play-off games on Monday, Lakeside Hammers are at Belle Vue. No, not even I, in my current state of exhaustion, would do a day trip to Manchester on a weekday just for 15 heats of speedway. On the other hand, I see Buxton have a meeting on Sunday and I've never been there. I wonder what Premier Inn and Travelodge have to offer? Oh, stop it.

Talking of speedway, my friend Jeff Scott is publishing another of his eccentric 'annuals' covering the 2009 season. I know this because he has kindly sent me some quotes from me he is including so I can vet them. Don't I say some dumb things when I'm having a friendly chat? I must remember that anything I say to Jeff may be written down and used in evidence. Still, I did say more or less what he says I said, so fair enough, however embarrassed I might be to read them. I have, however, asked him to remove one comment which was (honestly) funny at the time and in context but looks quite horrible in cold print eight months later and even worse if it happens, by sheer accident, to be true.

As for my own book, I admit to have been afflicted by a sudden lack of confidence. I'm prepared to take a chance that no-one buys it, but, assuming some people do, will they actually like it or is it a waste of 250 pages? As a result I've got rather stuck around chapter 58 of the 66. Is that what they call writer's block? Dunno. Anyway, I'm sure I'll get it together. Maybe when I have a free evening. I suppose penning this piece is a good sign, though I'm already sure it isn't worth reading. I hope for your sake I'm wrong, though if I'm right you probably won't have got this far anyway. Onwards and upwards!

Confusion rains, and rains, and rains

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 19:17:00 +0000

Well, the best-laid plans and all that . . .

I know it's been a while; a few off-field complications, all sorted now.

But a couple of people have asked what's happened to the blog and, as it's nice to know someone cares, here we are again. Anyway, I have some unexpected spare time after a disastrous sporting day.

It was a speedway double-header between Lakeside and Eastbourne, up here at lunchtime, down in Sussex tonight. I decided to skip the home half in order to stick with the Ryman League and the day's only game, at Whyteleafe, conveniently placed for a run down the A22 to Eastbourne afterwards. And no sooner had I arrived in the area than it tipped it down.

So, for the second time this week, I had a lengthy journey (Ashford, Kent, on Monday) only to find the game called off just as I got there. I didn't miss much at Lakeside, where the action was abandoned after two races, and I was told of flooded roads in Sussex so I reckoned the evening outing was a write-off. So here I am in front of my keyboard while, down at Eastbourne, it's 30-30 with five races to go; seemingly a cracking finish in store. Curses!

This horrible, horrible weather is also causing problems on Route 66. Not serious ones; I've done 65 of the 66 grounds now, only Fleet Town to go. It will be my third attempt to get there tomorrow; I have a nasty feeling I won't make it again. Luckily they have lots of home games left.

Hello, 37-41 at Eastbourne. We could win this. All we need is for the mysteriously out-of-form Jonas Davidsson to come good in heat 14 and we'll be almost there.

Back to the football. Apparently this isn't the worst season ever for Ryman League postponements; that, I think was 2000-01 when a few matches were left unplayed. I don't have the exact figures but if we lose a substantial chunk of the Easter programme, and, judging by the weather forecast, we might, it could well be a new record. At least tomorrow there should be something to watch if Fleet is off.

It's ironic, in a way,that Fleet will mark the end of the 66-club trail. Apart from Worthing where I went when I was little because my granny lived there, it was the first current Ryman League ground I visited. It was for an Athenian League match against Woodford Town in 1979. I had some hope of seeing Jimmy Greaves in action but it turned out that he had played his last game for Woodford - and for anybody - a couple of weeks earlier, at Dorking. Annoyingly, I could have been there but didn't spot the fixture until 2.30. I believe the little fat fellow, as he was then, scored a couple in a 4-3 win.

The other fat fellow, a very large fat fellow in this case, was still in the Woodford line-up. That was an aging Joe Kinnear. Mobile he wasn't. Woodford also had three Americans, which was pretty progressive for those days. They won 2-0 and I think current Brentwood manager Les Whitton scored one of them.

What's going on with that Davidsson? He blew out again, Kasprzak lost his maximum to Zagar in heat 15 and it finished 45-45. Better than losing, but very frustrating.

Meanwhile, I can announce that the Route 66 blog has hit the jackpot. I had an email from the US of A this week, from a Dr Kirkis no less, advising me that "Route 66 was not even a shadow of its former self" in an area of New Mexico.

Truth be told, Route 66 (yes it was the way to Amarillo) was wiped off the official map about 25 years ago. Maybe I should call this blog Interstate 40, but that wouldn't make any sense.

Concord have only got two balls

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:58:00 +0000

IT'S been a funny old fortnight on Route 66. Since last we met just two grounds have been added to the list, Canvey and VCD Athletic, taking the tally to 55. I enjoyed VCD, a ground I had never previously visited. It turned out to be unexpectedly pretty.

That was on Saturday as Romford won 1-0 despite taking something of a battering. Then, as games fell by the wayside on Tuesday, I found myself dashing to VCD again, this time as they faced Leyton. The programme for the game was originally issued for the postponed match on December 29 and there was an up-to-date insert. Keeper Elliott Justham was the only player in Leyton's original 1-11 who appeared in the updated one, and not one of the players on that updated list actually lined up. That made 31 players in all, since the final starting 11 included Danny Francis who had been in the Dec 27 team. I suppose that's what happens when you reach your fourth manager of the season.

Leyton also took a battering but they were sharp up front and led 3-1 at half-time before going down 4-3. They had a chatty and cheerful Lithuanian goalkeeper called, they thought, Alvudas Ceponis. He wasn't very good, to be honest, but pulled off one blinding save to deny Aaron Firth a hat-trick. I was glad to see Firth acknowledge his opponent with the traditional sporting slap on the bum, and hoped the gesture means the same in Lithuania.

Canvey had also been enjoyable; a 4-1 away win for Aveley who had been worried a week earlier when they were only one point above the relegation zone and were now pretty much terrified to be only five points off the play-offs. Intriguing feature of this game was a penalty conceded by Tony Russell, one of my daughter's Facebook connections. I was standing next to the Aveley bench at the time and we all agreed that it was an obvious penalty. Strangely enough, Canvey and Aveley folk on the opposite side of the pitch thought it was a comic decision. That's angles for you. Who'd be a ref?

While Route 66 progress was otherwise frustrated, there were still matches to watch. On the Monday after the Canvey game I saw their neighbours Concord steal a last-kick 2-1 win at Ilford, a game remarkable for an incident in which, to the entire approval of the ref, two Concord players burst through on the left to threaten the Ilford goal. The odd aspect of this was that they each had a ball at their feet. One eventually pulled up, bemused, the other was tackled, but there was no whistle. Could they have scored two goals at once?

The following night, with almost everything rained off, I managed to find some action at Boreham Wood where an own goal gave the hosts a 2-1 win over Hendon in remarkably good conditions.

All that was left on Wednesday was a trip to the distinctly chilly East London Stadium, where senior football newcomers Bethnal Green United beat Barkingside 2-1 in the Essex Senior League Cup. A young acquaintance of mine in the BGU squad was delighted to have been 'borrowed' by Concord for a recent League Cup tie against Billericay, which they won, and was hoping to get the call for the next round. I had to break the news to him that he, and a couple of others, had not been properly registered and there would be no next round.

Thursday took me to Sittingbourne after the pitch passed a 4pm inspection, but constant rain after that halted proceedings in the 16th minute.

On Monday and Wednesday of this week the rain beat me, though I had a rare Wednesday night ice hockey fixture at Romford for consolation, and last night I spent three miserable hours on the North Circular expecting them to be wasted, only to find Kingstonian's pitch in immaculate condition. The 3-3 draw with Wealdstone was as good a game as I have seen all season.

Once again, for the third time this season, I have timetabled the rest of my Route 66 visits. No doubt, as it has done on the two previous occasions I've made my plans, that will trigger another fortnight of postponements.

I know other people have done all 66 clubs in a season; I wonder, though, whether anybody has seen 100 Ryman League games in a season. At the moment I reckon I could do 102 if I set my mind to it, and there are bound to be more games on so-far free dates. I think I may be going mad.

Keep on googlin'

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:24:00 +0000

I googled myself today (a sort of musical reference, as is the headline which pays tribute to God's favourite band, which is in turn another one). Go on, you've all done it.

I am accustomed to being the British Ambassador to Turkmenistan and I am disappointed to have received no gifts on MySchool Australia. My education, whether Australian or not, is not greatly improved by discovering that my name was originally given to a person who worked as a butcher. I am an accupuncturist in Newport but an acupuncturist in Cardiff. I am also a blind acupuncturist, apparently, but that sounds as if it might be inacurate. I've received a Queen's Award, which is pleasing. Perhaps that was for my work as a senior safety consultant in Angola for the past three years, which I managed to squeeze into the closing period of my 30 years as a Scottish fireman while acting as a consultant to local government and an estate agent. It would seem that I am also involved with a church whose motto is, "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." Hmm. And that's just in the first few pages. Less probably, it claims that I am sports editor of the Romford Recorder. Oh, and on page 4 it tells me that I write a blog called Route 66. So I'd better.

When last we met, on Tuesday, I was planning a trip to Margate. And to Margate I went for a quick spot of sea air (I drove round the seafront with the car window slightly open, in other words. No way was I getting out in that wind). The later business, ground no.53, was a Premier Division game against Wealdstone. It finished 1-1 though Margate could have won by a cricket score had they made the most of their second-half possession. Interesting contrast in the dug-outs: Mark Butler was managing Margate, rather noisily, for the 15th time, Gordon Bartlett was managing Wealdstone for the 1,001st. It was also, as it turned out, Butler's last game, leaving him no doubt to regret his decision to leave Ashford (Middx), where he had been for many years, earlier this season for the lure of a theoretically bigger club. They could both depart from the Premier Division in May, but in opposite directions.

At the end of a very chilly night I was not feeling too happy about a 75-mile drive home in dodgy conditions. That was until the Sky vidiprinter tapped out TRURO 3 HEMEL HEMPSTEAD 1. Now that's a long journey home. As it happened, despite a closed stretch of motorway and a nasty flurry of snow, I was home in time to see my daughter. "You said you wouldn't be home till midnight," she snapped, and went to bed.

Wednesday was a short trip to Ilford to watch the battle between Waltham Forest and Thamesmead, both sides having suffered three-goal home defeats by Romford in the previous eight days. That didn't bode well, but Thamesmead had shaken off their disappointment and poor old Forest suffered a second successive 4-1 tonking. A massive crowd of 34 paid to get in and someone swore they had seen other people, or perhaps the same people, paying to get out. It was a good game, though, made all the better that it was played on a snow-covered pitch, something you rarely see these days. The Ryman League's official yellow winter ball is presumably designed for occasions such as this but it didn't help, perhaps because of Cricklefield's horrible street-lamp orange floodlights.

I've ducked out of the cross-London trip to Carshalton tonight but, with Canvey on Saturday followed by Ilford, Ramsgate, Concord Rangers and Boreham Wood on Monday to Thursday next week, I won't be soccer-starved (it the snow goes away). If all goes well, three of those games will be added to the Route 66 left and it'll be ten to go. Must start finding out about printers.

Lost in the fog of Kent (or was it Kentish fog?)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:27:00 +0000

Well, it's Tuesday. Today's plan is a nice trip to Margate. Pity I can't get away early enough for some quality sunbathing (for my overseas fans, that's one of those English weather jokes for which we are so famous).

A few more games since last we met; Sittingbourne on Saturday. So you go through these massive gates and see this gigantic modern stadium in front of you, then turn left and go down a rough track to the back pitch where they have to play now. Must be heartbreaking for them.

Super people, though, as at so many clubs. It promised to be a cracker: S'bourne (15 goals in four games) v Horsham YM (22 goals in six games). You can guess the rest. Tony Di Barnado (Doc, presumably), YM's Canadian goalkeeper, was brilliant. It was foggy when I left: actually took three wrong turnings getting out of the car park, a personal best. 52 down, 14 to go on Route 66.

Managed to squeeze in basketball (Leopards at Brentwood) and ice hockey (Chelmsford) on Sunday just to prove my life doesn't revolve around football.

Then it was Aveley last night: a 1-0 win for the mighty Millers (OK, Craig?) over Billericay. Tuohy scored. But it was cold, cold, cold. Thanks to Steve for letting me huddle up to the heater in the club shop wiv me Bovril.

Two successive clean sheets for the Millers thanks, I reckon, to new boy Tony Russell. Afraid I dissed him on principle when they signed him from Ilford, but he turns out to be pretty good. Anyway, after dissing him I discovered that he was one of my daughter's Facebook people. They were at school together. So now he's a hero.

And off to Margate tonight. 53/66, weather permitting. Have planned the rest, cleverly finishing at likely champions Dartford. Last time I made a plan it snowed for three weeks. Could be the same again.

This is a deeply dull posting but I'm in a bit of a rush and I really want to keep this reasonably up to date this year. I'll be back to my usual sizzling style (hey, the old postings are here if you don't believe me...) next time, all being well.

Stuck on the wrong side of town

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:20:00 +0000

Well, hi again Craig, David, Gavin, Kev, Dwight, Colin, Tony, Richard, Steve, Mark and anyone else who happens to come across these words of wisdom. I'm trying to make it more regular this year so I hope you're enjoying it. If so, please recruit some more fans!

All the talk this week has been about whether a married man who bonks his mate's wife is fit to lead his country. But enough about Prince Charles: on with the show.

Route 66, for any newcomers, is the probable title of my probable book on my probable visits to all 66 Ryman League clubs this season. Alas, spanners continue to drop into the works. My second attempt to visit Godalming (it would have been no.52) on Saturday ended with the dreaded 'it's off' phone call at about 12.15, by which time I was in Richmond. Plenty of time to find another ground, I thought. But a quick check of the fixtures revealed that the only home clubs I hadn't visited were Canvey and Ramsgate, neither of which was much of an option from deep in south-west London.

So it was Sutton v Aveley, another Millers game with plenty of goals and ending in a 3-2 defeat. They're slipping dangerously close to the relegation zone but having lots of fun along the way.

Sunday brought another chance to watch poor old Romford Raiders. Shorn of half their imports, our ice-hockey heroes went down 10-1 at home to Guildford. Interesting thing about it was that all ten goals (well, all 11, I suppose) were scored by different players. Has that ever happened in football.

Aveley again on Monday, a Championship Manager League Cup tie against Hornchurch. It was supposed to be getting, according to our climate change experts, so of course it dropped below freezing and of course there was a late goal (by Sos Yao of Hornchurch) to force extra time.

Millers ended their worrying winless streak with two extra-time goals and we all went home to thaw out. Talking point was a booking for Aveley striker Martin Tuohy for diving. Looked a pretty clear penalty from where I was standing (which was about as close as you could get without copping a banning order). Gavin will no doubt surprise me with a picture showing it wasn't a pen at all. GAV EDIT: Can't give you that one as the ref was standing right in front of it from my viewpoint so will have to make do with a couple of other 'non-pens' from the same game...

Tuesday's plan was Thamesmead v Romford. Thamesmead had already featured on Route 66 but it was a CM Cup tie and I'd like to do a league match everywhere. Half an hour on the Purfleet roundabout put paid to that. Strangely, traffic seemed to be flowing across the Dartford Bridge but getting to it was out of the question, especially with one lorry after another trundling slowly down from the M25 to block all four lanes of the box junction.

A hazardous slalom between the parked juggernauts eventually enabled me to escape eastwards and I made it to East Thurrock just in time for their kick-off against Northwood. Another entertaining 3-2 home win, most of which I spent in amicable disagreement with Essex FA chief executive Phil Sammons.

Now Phil is smarter than your average blazer; he did, after all, play around 600 games for Grays while acting as secretary of another Isthmian club, so he knows his stuff from the bottom up. Then there's me, a humble follower of the game but a quasi-insider with around 4,000 games behind me. Yet we still come to almost every question from radically different viewpoints.

A familiar-looking figure wandered past us at the end of the game. I can never recognise players with their clothes on but as he stopped to chat to Phil I realised that it was the previous night's diver (allegedly). "It was a definite penalty," Tuohy said. "But I admit I went down in instalments."

Now there's the thing. Is it any wonder that players dive when they know that if they try to stay on their feet they won't get the penalty and if they fall over late they'll probably get booked as well? I can't remember the last time I saw a penalty given when the player didn't go down after the foul.

Onwards and upwards: Ilford v Brentwood tonight, if it don't rain, before returning to Route 66 properly next week. No.52 on Saturday is now scheduled to be Sittingbourne, where I can take my punishment for absentmindedly calling them Sittingbourne Town in the league bulletin this week. People adding 'Town' to teams who don't have are among my pet hates, right up there with the greengrocers' apostrophe, so it will be an embarrassed blogger who creeps into the clubhouse.

Kent again next Tuesday, according to present plans, and a first-ever trip to Margate. Then 54 Canvey, 55 Ramsgate (eeps! Kent coast again) and 56 VCD (another maiden visit), with sundry Monday and Wednesday games in amongst them. I'll keep you posted.

Star-Spangled Soccer

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:43:00 +0000

Another one! I think I'm finally getting this blog together (famous last words?).

For anyone puzzled by the reference in the last one, all my blogs suddenly became dated December 9, a glitch which star man Gavin has now resolved.

Northwood last night, then; the 51st Ryman League club I've visited so far this season, just 15 to go.

Good game against Great Wakering, 3-3 (0-1 after 44 minutes, 2-2 at half-time). The officials took much stick from the benches, not much of it justified (if, indeed, you can justify any abuse of the officials). One manager was giving the poor old ref a real haranguing as they walked off at half-time. His opposite number added, "Ref, to be fair, he's spot on." Still, if the FA won't stop Fergie, Wenger and that lot blaming the officials every time they drop a point, Ryman managers are hardly likely to be any different, are they?

For all that, it was an entertaining game on a very chilly night.

Northwood's first goal came from Leon Osei - "Osei can you see?" as I called him in the book when he scored at Wingate a few weeks back (Route 66, available some time in the summer). Pathetically, while in this anthemic mood I failed to notice that another scorer was Chris Seeby. So if Northwood would only sign Kanu (presumably they can pay him more than Portsmouth do), they could have a goalscoring line of Osei Kanu Seeby which should be good for some American sponsorship. Maybe the Glazers would take them over: lucky, lucky Northwood!

While in this ridiculous mood, let's carry on. I'm struggling with 'the dawn' but we have any number of Searles (let's say Mark who used to play for Worthing) and Lees (pick one), and I'm sure there used to be a Light (Danny?) somewhere. Then Steve Watts...

So, so far, our Star-Spangled Soccer Banner goes:

OSEI KANU SEE-

BY the dawn' S EARLE LEE LIGHT

WATT So proudly we hailed....

Any advance, devoted reader (or even readers)?

For the record, by the way, I discovered yesterday that it's pronounced OSS-EYE not O-SAY. But that would spoil the fun.

As Gav would say, I'll get my coat.

So I was wrong. What a surprise.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:16:00 +0000

I see all my blogs are now dated December 9, presumably an effort to kick me into writing something by making me feel guilty that I've done nothing since such a productive day.

Well, it worked, and anyway it was pointed out to me last night that I'd said on a previous entry that I didn't expect to see any 'first-class' football this season. It was pleasing to know that I not only have a reader but one who remembers what I said.

This conversation occurred in the press box at Charlton. So out of touch am I with the 'big time' that I didn't even realise that the O's were playing there until I read the paper on Monday morning. I had a vague plan to do Barkingside v Barking that evening but that was almost certain to be off - and it was.

Over the river, then, to watch the Orient for the first time almost three years. Since much of my loss of interest in the club was down to the fact that I no longer recognised any of the players, such was the Brisbane Road turnover, it was nice that the goal was from an old face, Scott McGleish, whom I last saw score for the O's in 1997 and, before that, for Edgware at Aveley in 1994 (gratuitous Ryman League plug).

So here were the O's, desperate for points, one up against one of the division's top teams. What bothered me was how little it bothered me that Charlton might equalise. Something in my heart has definitely gone missing (which is odd, because a surgeon added some bits a few years back).

Charlton are now offering five-year season tickets. Imagine buying one of them, sitting down at of the next season and discovering that the bloke next to you also has a five-year season ticket ... and a drum.

Lloyd Sam was on the left wing for Charlton. I wondered if "SAM 11" used less material (or whatever it is) than any other shirt in the league. My old friend Gary Haines, now part of the team producing the super Charlton programme, immediately came up with former Brentford player Charlie Ide. I've had to check that one, but it was "IDE 25" so Sam probably beats him. But what the guy who just left man City? JO 14, wasn't he? This stuff's important, you know.

I could see the Sky pictures from where I was sitting. They were some seven seconds behind the live action. If you have HD at home, have you ever noticed that the picture there is far enough behind the 'regular' one that you can switch channels and still arrive before you left, as it were?

Anyway, I thought it was about time that this blog got going again, especially as Gavin was at the game and will no doubt slot in a super picture very shortly. Thanks, Gav.

Before I have to press on, though, a quick update on Route 66. The weather has caused a hold-up, of course, but progress is steady. Northwood should be no.51 tonight. The remaining 15 (people do ask me) are Billericay, Bognor, Canvey, Dartford, Horsham and Margate in the Premier, Cheshunt, Concord, Maldon and VCD in 1 North, Chatham, Fleet, Godalming, Ramsgate and Sittingbourne in 1 South. With luck I can save the seaside trips for sunnier days.

39 players, no title

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:39:00 +0000

Club no.42 on Saturday: Carshalton. It's a place where I have seen many weird happenings. Worthing once went 2-0 down in four minutes there and ended up wining 4-3 with all four goals from the incomparable Micky Edmonds. On another occasion Worthing were only one down after half an hour and lost 13-0. It's also where I saw a goalkeeper sent off for refusing point-blank to take a goal-kick from inside the six-yard box. I never worked that one out.

On this occasion Carshalton lost 3-0 to Aveley, who needed it. Carshalton themselves started the season as championship favourites. So far they've used 39 players, which helps to explain why they're not any more. It was a funny day in the Ryman Premier. Six of the top eight played and collected two points between them (one of them in injury time), five of the bottom eight played and collected 13 points.

Tuesday took me to East Thurrock (not no.43: a repeat visit), where Heybridge had the better of things for 27 minutes, failed to score and found themselves 4-0 down after 34. Not surprisingly, a Heybridge dignatory begged me for a cigarette after that. "It's the first one I've had since I saw you last," he said.

Tonight, with luck, Aveley will get in their Essex Senior Cup game against Billericay at the third time of asking. It's either that or Waltham Forest. It's been a nice warm sunny day but it's clouding over now. I'm not hopeful.

Meanwhile, if you have the remotest interest in films, may I direct you to the http://greercn.wordpress.com/ blog?

Later in the day: Aveley did play, they beat Billericay 4-2, and it was all most enjoyable. Competitive goals scored this season on the four grounds shared by two Ryman League clubs: Ilford 54, Ashford 55, Horsham YMCA 82, Aveley . . . 113!

Handball hysteria? I'd rather have fun

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:16:00 +0000

HERE we are again, at long last. I won't bore you with details of the last few weeks. Suffice it to say that I have been busy. Amid all the chaos, though, progress along Route 66 has been more than satisfactory.

For newcomers to this blog, Route 66 is the predictable title of the book I hope to publish in the summer featuring my travels round the Ryman League this season. My plan was to visit all 66 clubs and it has gone far better than I could have imagined. I've now banked 41 of them which, as you mathematical experts out there will have realised already, leaves only 25 to go.

I've even worked out a provisional itinerary for the last 25 and am due to finish at Fleet Town on April 10. That's just to prove to myself that it can be done. I've included no midweek games after Christmas, since there were none on the original fixture list.

It's all been thoroughly enjoyable and I'm beginning to suspect that, for the first time since I started watching football, I will get through the season without watching a single 'first-class' game.

I can't say I miss it. The hysteria surrounding the Thierry Henry handball sums up everything that is wrong with the game at the higher levels, and particularly the way it is covered by the media. The bloke handled the ball instinctively and got away with it. So what? Can you honestly tell me that the reaction would have been the same if an Irish player had done it?

Replay? You must be joking. But, since other instances have been quoted, let me clarify the position since very few other people have bothered. It's true that another World Cup tie was replayed because of a refereeing error. A successful penalty was disallowed for encroachment and play was restarted with a free-kick to the defending side. The problem there was that the ref didn't know the law which, of course, states that the kick should have been retaken. If the ref makes an error in his knowledge of the laws, a replay is possible.

But if he just makes an error of judgement, forget it, and quite right too. Should we replay the 1966 World Cup final now that technology has proved that the linesman got it wrong (allegedly, though I have always thought that in the original full-speed film the ball looks well over the line)? And would you replay every match where an offside goal was allowed or an onside one disallowed?

There was a famous case at Spurs back in the '50s. Eddie Baily, I think it was, took a corner which hit the ref and bounced back to him, whereupon he crossed and the winning goal was scored. Now, as the ref doesn't count, Baily had played the ball twice from the corner and the opposition - Huddersfield, I think it was - asked for a replay on the grounds that there had been an error in law. And, if the referee had admitted that he didn't know that you couldn't play the ball twice at a corner, a replay it would have been. But he said that he hadn't realised that Baily had played it twice. Therefore a judgement call and the result stood. It's not that complicated.

But the relative peace on Route 66 has brought lots of pleasure, a few surprises (well, did you know that former prime minister Clement Attlee used to play for Fleet Town?) and a lot of laughs.

Among the latter - the ground bearing a notice assuring punters that they are safe from unwanted intruders because the fence is treated with anti-climb paint. Will anti-climb paint really stop the next-door neighbours? The next-door establishment is, after all, a graveyard.

Then there's the club puzzled by the number of youngsters who bunk in over the fence. They let in kids for free.

I have also learned that the longest-serving member of the Metropolitan Police force is the commissioner's valet.

One club told me of the cheque for £5.03 they had just been given as their share of the gate from an away cup-tie, another proudly displays one for £42,819.71 which they received many years ago for a similar reason.

I saw a goal scored after just 14 seconds at Kingstonian, then beat it by a second at Merstham, where I also saw the visitors hit the woodwork four times from 25 yards or more.

I've seen some great goals and some hilarious misses (though nothing to compare with the one by Harrow's Rocky Baptiste last Saturday, now showing on the web).

And I've heard the aggrieved tannoy announcement "Someone's ordered a hot dog, then gone off and not taken the hot dog".

It's been fun. And it's not over yet.

Of headers, rooftop finishes and beaches

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:18:00 +0000

Another busy couple of weeks has brought me to within 40 of my route 66 target. Latest to be knocked off the wants list were Boreham Wood, Walton Casuals, Tilbury, Leyton and Worthing.

Of those games, far and away the best was at Worthing last night.

They thrashed Ashford Town 5-1 and it was fairly clear why Ashford had the worst defensive record in the Ryman League (though, oddly, they shared that dubious honour with Kingstonian who are seventh in the Premier Division).

Having said that, the quality of the goals was outstanding, including Ashford's consolation by Joe Fuller. That was a terrific header from a great cross, as were goals by Ben Williamson, Ben Johnson and Ross Treleaven for Worthing (you might quibble and mention that Johnson's header may not have crossed the line, or at least that's what some of the home supporters behind the goal reckoned. Still, the linesman was perfectly placed to give it).

Top-class headed goals seem to happening in profusion in the games I see, including Kayan Kalipha's decider for Tilbury against Thamesmead last week.

Tilbury would have lost at Leyton on Saturday had Walid Matata's chip over advancing keeper Andy Hall, six minutes from the end of a goalless draw, been as good as it initially looked. It was when it landed on the roof of a neighbouring house that I began to suspect that my first judgement may have been faulty.

Worthing, of course, is by the seaside, which leads me to think of the beach. Thinking of Worthing beach reminds me of some merry Friday nights in the long-gone Old England bar on the seafront. It was always exceedingly crowded and if you were sitting towards the front the beach was much more accessible than the gents. That, however, was a hazardous proceeding when the tide was high and the night stormy, as quite a few bedraggled customers were able to attest.

The other thing that goes with beach is ball, which brings us to the referee who displayed his ignorance of the laws of the game at Sunderland. Why is it that, when a Premiership referee is punished for a blatant error, he is sentenced to take charge of a Football League game? Doesn't that display a great deal of contempt for the Football League among the game's authorities (no surprise there, I guess)? Shouldn't they be sent on a training course instead?

Come to think of it, that might not help. The last time I saw an incident where the ref showed that he didn't know the laws of the game (as opposed to making an error of judgement), he did come off the Football League list at the end of the season. I think that was an age thing, however; he was then put in charge of training referees in his home county.

Generally, though, aren't you sick of managers whining about referees? Wouldn't it be interesting if the national media made an agreement not to use any quotes at all for the rest of the year? It might be tricky for some of the tabloid boys who would have to think up their own stories, but ten weeks without Fergie, Wenger and the rest would be blissful.

On the speedway front, meanwhile, there is eager anticipation for this week's two finals. Lakeside travel to Coventry on Friday for the second leg of the Elite League Cup final and have a suitably massive lead that they should have few problems lifting their first-ever trophy at the top level. I'm hoping for a decent weather forecast so it's worth making the trip.

Then, at the weekend, it's Rye House v Workington in the final of the Young Shield. Rye won both their quarter-final and semi-final by a single point on aggregate, and this could be another cracker. One slight problem; the first leg at Rye House (which is near Harlow, for those who don't know) will finish about 9.30 on Saturday night. Then men and machines have to find their way to Workington for a 3pm start on Sunday. I fear I may miss the climax of this epic competition (and let's not make too much fuss about the fact that it's for teams that finished between 5th and 12th in their league).

21 down, 45 to go

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:44:00 +0000

On Tuesday I watched Romford lose 2-0 at Enfield Town. Romford's Remi Nelson was sent off.

I mention this because I fancy that in the prevailing conditions (poor lights, heavy rain, unexciting match) even such a talented snapper as Gav might have struggled to get any decent pix apart from when the unhappy Mr Nelson walked past him. We shall see.

That was stop no.21 on Route 66 which, for any newcomers, is the attempt to produce a book on my visits to all 66 Ryman League clubs this season. Much interesting material has surfaced so far (I hope). The tally so far is eight clubs apiece in the Premier Division and One North, just five in One South.

The balance will adjust itself soon; as long as the Rye House speedway season continues I have to be north of the river on Saturday afternoons. Once that's over my evening attention will switch to ice hockey at places like Slough, Bracknell and Basingstoke, and Div 1S will come into its own.

The past few days were frustrating. I had planned to do Croydon Athletic v Walton & Hersham on Tuesday which, from what I've seen of both teams, could have been a scorcher of a game, followed by a pleasant outing to Eastbourne Town on Wednesday. But both games were wiped out by FA Trophy replays, as was every other league game this week apart from the aforementioned Enfield Town match. Why I decided that Route 66 had to be accomplished entirely in league matches I have no idea, but I'm stuck with it now.

It was, by the way, the fourth time I've seen Romford this season. P4 W0 D0 L4 F0 A16. And, Boro fans, I haven't done my Route 66 visit to one of your home games yet. Be afraid . . .

Anyway, 45 clubs to go with, by my reckoning, 35 full or fairly full Saturdays and Tuesdays left. It shouldn't be too difficult to finish the task. Should it?

This, I hope, will be the last long gap between blogs. Apart from anything else, Gavin deserves better for the time and effort he's put into setting it up. Considering I'm only working part-time, I'm still puzzled by the lack of hours in the day.

Apart from more Route 66 stuff, there will soon be a look back at what I found to be a fascinating speedway season, despite all the sport's off-track problems, much of them of its own making. This blog, after all, was intended to be mainly about speedway until events overtook me. And I'm still basking in the glory of correctly forecasting the first four, in the right order, at the recent National League Riders Championship - during which, incidentally, a few of us had a lengthy grammatical discussion. Should Riders have an apostrophe? I thought so but I was persuaded otherwise. We're not dumb, us speedway fans.

Surprise surprise, another F1 scandal

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:13:00 +0000

Another week passes in the mad world of sport.

F1 offers us the great Renault scandal. Remarkable, isn't it, how the world's most tedious sport manages to keep itself in the headlines with one shock horror story after another? Cynics might think they were doing it deliberately; all scripted, like those various initialled wrestling soap operas.

And, by the way, why all the fuss whenever a driver lets his teammate pass him because he needs the points more? Hasn't anyone noticed the TEAM bit? Do people complain if Wayne Rooney passes to Michael Owen instead of shooting for goal himself?

Which brings us to Sparky Hughes and his magic watch. Funny that, for once, Fergie didn't whine about added time. But come on, folks. Even an amateur basketball team manages to have a clock on the wall that starts and stops at the referee's signal, so everyone knows where they are. Is it beyond Premier League football clubs to do the same? Problem solved in an instant.

What else happened? Oh yes, we lost 6-1 to Australia in the one-day series. Anyone care? I thought not.

As for proper sport, my week included two Aveley games, both 4-2s. The first was an FA Cup replay against London Colney who looked very much better than Spartan League Div One and led 2-0 at half-time before manager Rod Stringer's flying teacups sorted his team out and they finally made the three-division gap count.

Millers reached the lofty heights of second in the Ryman Premier on Saturday (a mere eight points behind Dartford) but were on the receiving end of the 4-2 scoreline this time. Talking point here was the volunteer linesman who took over when the proper one hurt himself soon after half-time. Aveley were told by the ref, who was from Lancashire and knew no better, that the newcomer was 'a Maidstone official' . Cue outrage on the Aveley bench when he flagged for offside to cost them a goal. Stringer and centre-back Darren Blewitt, who had just been substituted, were invited to depart the premises (though I heard no moaning sufficient to justify such drastic action, and I was standing pretty close to the bench). Alongside me was Aveley secretary Craig Johnson, who gave me the 'Maidstone official' story. I hurriedly pointed out that the deputy, who was on the far side of the pitch, was nothing of the sort. He was, in fact, league vice-chairman Nick Robinson. Craig grabbed his phone just in time to ensure that Stringer, who was about to pass Nick en route to the stand, was not tempted to comment further on the decision - which was, incidentally, perfectly correct.

Just to make it the protest even sillier, Nick's signal led to an Aveley penalty a couple of minutes later - and that was a correct decision as well.

In between the two Aveley games I paid my first visit of the season to Hornchurch, a club in total financial chaos for the second time in five years. Manager Colin McBride has somehow kept them going and there seems a general belief that a buyer will soon appear to rescue them, though no-one seems to know who it might be.

On the speedway front, there was a heavy cup semi-final defeat for an injury-hit Rye House and a disappointing play-off display by Lakeside Hammers at Wolverhampton on Monday. I watched the latter on TV, which meant suffering a Tony Millard commentary with its three stock phrases, one of them being the semi-meaningless 'teammate and partner' which comes out about three times in every race. And he kept getting the riders' names wrong. Hammers' in-form pair of Finns, Kauko Nieminen and Joonas Kylmakorpi, were right out of form so, needing a 20-point second leg win to force an aggregate draw, the Essex men are probably finnished.

Eight men hit for six

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:57:00 +0000

I decided on an overseas trip last night and so it was off to Canvey Island for the FA Cup replay between Concord Rangers and Romford. It was to be a bizarre affair.

Things started badly for Romford when James Gammons was sent off after three minutes (which included two minutes of mass pushing and shoving) for allegedly headbutting Nicky Cowley, the Concord captain. Gammons, who apologised to club officials at half-time, accepted the decision but the visiting fans behind the goal, never the most unbiased group, were none too happy.

Imagine their delight when Joe Sweeney put Concord ahead on the half-hour with a goal that might have been offside and/or handball, provoking Boro defender Paul White to shout "Don't worry about this chap" as play restarted. Words to that effect, anyway, and he didn't say chap. Now it was 11-9.

Concord failed miserably to make the most of their two-man advantage and managed to add only a Danny Heale penalty before, remarkably, it became 11-8 with 15 minutes left when Richard Oxby's wild challenge earned him a second yellow. The curious thing about it was that it wasn't a particularly dirty game and that Romford's nine men had more than held their own against their star-studded opponents.

A three-man deficit was a bit much to cope with, though, and Concord knocked in another four goals. Just to rub it in, the sixth and last was a backheel by Cowley, not the visiting fans' favourite player.

It's long time since I've seen a side reduced to eight men, though I have fond memories of a brutal Essex Senior League game that finished 8-9 and that only because the referee simply refused to issue any more red cards. He was left with no choice, however, when a home forward broke through and the keeper rushed ten yards out of his box to scythe him down with a thigh-high tackle. He had to show red for the 'professional foul' or the height of the challenge, but out came a yellow card. This was doubly unfortunate because the keeper had been wearing the no.5 in the first half and had been booked in that role.

I mentioned this fact to a league official after the game and he turned rather pale before rushing off to the officials' dressing room, returning ten minutes later to announce that the no.4, not the no.5, had suffered the first-half booking. Yeah, right.

What made it even more entertaining was that the home side had invited all their local councillors and quite a few of them turned up, including the mayor whose chain was heard to be rattling furiously as the game went on.

I had toyed with the Halstead-Enfield replay last night, Halstead being one of the closer senior grounds I've never visited. I tried to once, but became hopelessly trapped in a traffic jam behind a major accident. It was most frustrating; five minutes earlier and I'd have missed it all. But that would have been even more frustrating in the end because the opposition got stuck as well and failed to arrive. Anyway, the Halstead game finished 2-0 to Enfield on penalties, which doesn't speak well of the marksmanship. The national press had it as 4-0 on penalties which, if you think about it, would have been a world record.

Sunny, but no seashells

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:11:00 +0000

The past few days brought my first three-sport weekend for a while.

Route 66 took me to Great Wakering Rovers and there can be few more pleasant places to watch football on a warm, sunny afternoon than this village in the Southend hinterlands.

Rovers used to be famous for having a path round the pitch made of seashells; very nice, unless you were barefoot I guess. Sadly, that was not 'hard standing' within the terms of the ground grading rules and they had to replace them with boring concrete.

They remain an endearingly modest club despite their steady progress from local Southend football to Ryman One. Survival is their stated aim for this season and you have to press quite hard before they'll admit to hopes of finishing in the top half of the table.

They are, however, very proud that when a young Michael Kightly, then playing for Basildon in the Essex Senior League, was advised to find a bigger club in order to advance his career, Great Wakering was the club he chose. It worked very quickly. The future Wolves and England Under-21 star played only one match for them (some say it was none at all) before moving onwards and upwards via Grays Athletic.

Opponents for the day were Tilbury, who rather unexpectedly won the League Cup last season but have struggled to make an impact this time.

A beautifully-taken volleyed own goal by Rickie Hayles gave Rovers the lead but Dockers soon equalised with a Joe Keith penalty and 1-1 it stayed.

Own goals . . . now there's a topic that could take up a blog or two. My favourite remains the stunning 18-yard header by Liverpool's Tony Hateley at Highbury in 1967. It was only just after Liverpool had signed him what what was then a massive fee and for many years I kept a press photo of the event which showed the Reds defenders, including Emlyn Hughes, in a state of shock. "WHAT have we bought here?"

Dockers probably should have won it but Wakering came closest when Neil Richmond's shot was cleared off the line by his Aveley colleague of last season, Glen Golby.

That match was bookended by a couple of speedway meetings. Play-off bound Lakeside Hammers enjoyed a routine victory over Ipswich on Friday night but there was more entertainment at Rye House the following evening.

Rye's Tommy Allen was the star of the show. Allen, not the luckiest man in the sport, literally flew over the safety fence and a ten-yard grass strip before crashing back first into the inner rail of the old dog track which, fortunately, is made of plastic. You have to be scared by a back impact of such force and Allen was receiving attention for a long time. The old speedway rule that the worst-looking crashes are (usually) the ones that do the least damage came into play, however, and the sight of Allen walking away allowed us to 'enjoy' the spectacular mishap. He withdrew from the meeting with concussion, which was odd as his head seemed the one part of his body that hadn't hit anything during its journey.

Two men down (they were already without Robert Mear), Rockets did well to hang on for a 45-44 victory against a Newport side without an away win all season. After all, Rye had been in action at distant Edinburgh the night before and lost two riders during that match (Allen being one of them), though both were declared fittish for Saturday.

Alas, the 63-27 defeat in Scotland was the first leg of the cup semi-final and although Rockets are famously strong at home on their day, it might be too much to ask in the return this Saturday.

The weekend finished with Romford Raiders' first home ice hockey match of the season, a bad-tempered 'friendly' against Milton Keynes which they lost 6-2 to follow up a 7-2 defeat in MK the previous night. Romford's new import forwards struggled to make their mark but it's early days. My word, it was cold in that rink.

Better luck this time

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:58:00 +0000

This will my be second attempt to venture into the brave new world of blogging.

Last time, back in the spring, I'd managed a few test posts without figuring out how anyone might find it to read it.

Now, thanks to Gavin, I have a link to his popular TGS Photo site and, just maybe, someone might find me.

The original project stalled because of a sudden change in my personal circumstances. That crisis now more or less over, I should be able to keep it going.

In the meantime I have been appointed communications administrator for the Ryman (Isthmian) League, a part-time job which involves providing material for the league's website and bulletin.

Following on from that, I decided to venture upon writing a book about the league by visiting all 66 clubs in the course of the season. The book, inevitably, will be called Route 66 (I expect) and the title of this blog is an unashamed advertisement for it.

A pity, in a way. I rather liked the original name of Broadsider, reflecting both the fact that much of the summer material would be about speedway and also having a happy and more personal meaning.

I am now 14 clubs into the 66, which is a good start, and have enjoyed myself at the likes of Kingstonian, Tooting, Chipstead and Horsham YMCA. Less enjoyable was the latest visit, to Harlow, where the lights failed three times before play was abandoned after 20 minutes.

Next on the list, tomorrow as I write, will be the titanic Essex derby between Great Wakering Rovers and Tilbury. You might wonder why I won't be at one of the many intriguing FA Cup matches featuring Ryman League clubs and the answer, sadly, is that I decided to make my task more difficult by featuring 66 league matches. Why? Heaven knows, but I shall be brave and stick to it.

On the speedway front, one of the sport's great clubs, Swindon, have at last won the Elite League title, their first championship since 1967. Except thyat they haven't. Thanks to Sky, they can't call themselves champions unless they win the play-offs, which start on Monday week. My local Lakeside Hammers are through to the play-offs as well, with a difficult semi-final against Woverhampton, and have also reached the Elite League Cup final. They achieved that on June 12 but, being as how the other semi-final hasn't even been scheduled yet, enthusiasm may have waned by the time the final actually takes place.

My other local club, Premier League side Rye House, are also in contention for Cup honours and are as I write preparing for the first leg of their semi-final at Edinburgh tonight.

So, no doubt, speedway will feature in this blog for a few weeks yet.

But football, and particularly Ryman League football, is likely to be the main focus.

However, I can hardly ignore England's successful qualification for the World Cup, that being the big issue of the moment. Well done, chaps, and let's hope the unreasonable expectations which will now be placed on you by the media don't overwhelm you. Yes, we can win it, but it will involve winning three successive matches against, say, Germany, Brazil and Spain. Failure to do that really shouldn't be considered a disaster.

One small point: poor Mr Heskey has come in for some more stick. Well, maybe his finishing leaves something to be desired - but, as well as being our front-runner for this week's 5-1 win, he was also the spearhead for the 4-1 romp in Croatia AND, lest we forget, for the 5-1 in Germany which seems so long ago now. So he must be doing something right.

I suppose playing in a successful side doesn't necessarily guarantee anything. Ask Roger Wedge? Who he? You may well ask. He was a member of the only Leyton Orient forward line that ever scored nine goals in a game - and he never played another game for them, before or after.

Broadsider...

noreply@blogger.com (TGSPhoto) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:03:00 +0000

...is now Route 66!

JT Murray, Graeme Pollock . . . and The Don

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 May 2009 22:35:00 +0000

I have a weakness for strange statistics and if this blog survives you will see more of them. This tale, though it may not immediately seem so, is the first of them . . .

I consider myself lucky to have been able to watch John Murray keeping wicket for Middlesex. The start and end of his lengthy first-class career coincided with the latter years of one great Kent keeper, Godfrey Evans, and the early years of another, Alan Knott.

In between them, for much of the the 60s, Murray was incomparable among English stumpers. Most striking, perhaps, was his immaculate appearance. He could, and did, fling himself miles to take the most unlikely catches but a moment later he would rise to his feet, cap at the same jaunty angle, not a speck of dust on his perfectly-creased trousers, and you were left with the impression that Murray had not moved at all but commanded the ball to come to him.

Improbably, I once saw JT open the Middlesex attack with Mike Brearley when the opposition needed only a handful for runs to win. Mike (MJ, not MJK) Smith took the gloves, I think. And Murray claimed a wicket before the dozen or so runs were knocked off.

He could bat a bit, too, but apparently not well enough. Murray was an early victim of what we might now call Prior Syndrome, a disease afflicting selectors who imagine that a specialist batsman can keep wicket and will score enough runs to atone for the ones he gives away in byes and missed chances. The Prior of Murray's time was Jim Parks, as a result of which Murray played only 21 Tests before a pair of ducks in the First Test against Pakistan in 1967 ended his England career. Knott replaced him and that was that.

There was no doubt that Murray could bat. Perhaps it was rather too sweaty a business for his liking, for he was regularly out for 20 or 30, in county as well as Test cricket. His 28 innings for England produced a couple of 50s and one unforgettable century. That came in the final Test against the West Indies in 1966. Having already lost the series 3-0, England made several changes; Brian Close replaced Colin Cowdrey as captain and Murray came back into the side in place of Parks. It looked like business as usual as the Windies made 268 and reduced England to 166 for 7. Enter Murray, who proceeded to add 217 with Tom Graveney. JT's contribution was 112. And then, wonder of wonders, England's last pair, Ken Higgs and John Snow, shared a stand of 128 before the innings ended at a mighty 52.

Like many others, no doubt, I had torn myself away from the TV screen with nine wickets down to head for White Hart Lane, where Spurs were opening their season against Leeds. At some stage in the first half came an announcement: 'latest score from The Oval: England 516 (pause)'. There was a moment of silence. I, and 50,000 other people, assumed he had said 416 and the next words would be 'all out'. Then they came: 'for nine'. The ground erupted. I suspect it was this news of English success which so enraged those two doughty Scots, Dave Mackay and Billy Bremner, that they indulged in the difference of opinion wich produced one of football's most famous photographs.

Spurs won 3-1 and England went on to win by an innings. Murray caught both openers off Snow but the decisive moment was provided by Close, who took one of the simplest catches of all time and yet one of the greatest. The mighty Garfield Sobers aimed a huge hook at his first ball but merely bottom-edged the ball into his box, from which it looped gently into the hands of Close who, typically, had posted himself a couple of yards from the bat at short-leg. All very easy. It was only later that you realised that Close, observing at point-blank range one of the world's ferocious hitters swinging into a shot that could well have buried itself in his forehead, had not flinched, nor taken his eye off the ball for a second. I don't think it was on this occasion, though it might just as well have been, that Close was asked what would have happened if the ball had hit him on the head and he replied "He'd have been caught at cover."

Close, incidentally, is another weird stat. He made his Test debut at 18, the youngest man ever to play for England, and was 45 when he represented his country for the last time. Yet,in all, he appeared in only 22 Tests.

Back to Murray. This century considerably improved his undistinguished Test batting figures. In all he scored just 506 runs for his country in 28 innings and averaged exactly 22. About right for a number eight or nine of ordinary competence, as he was.

Now, Graeme Pollock. I was also lucky enough to see him play one shortish innings as a youngster but, alas, the vast majority of his career coincided with the South African boycott. If only he'd played county cricket like so many of his contemporaries. Pollock did, however, play enough Tests to qualify for Wisden's list of top Test batsmen (20 innings being the required number). In his 23 knocks he averaged 60.97. That's the second-highest average in Test history and, as it happens, 38.97 more than John Murray. And what do you get if you add 38.97 to 60.97? Yup, 99.94. That, as the world knows, is Don Bradman's Test average. Statistics can lie but in this case I suspect they don't. The Don is as far above his nearest rival as that rival is above an average tailender.

Does that make him the greatest sportsman of all time? Well, I'll come back to that another day. But, if statistical superiority to the rest is the criterion, I reckon it's a straight fight between him and ice-hockey superstar Wayne Gretsky.

Of Pirates and Play-Offs

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 May 2009 14:51:00 +0000

It's been the talk of the speedway town in the last few weeks. A succession of catastrophic performances by defending champions Poole Pirates have sent them plunging towards the foot of the Elite League table and led to widespread allegations that they were deliberately throwing away matches in order to reduce their averages and allow them to bring in another star rider (note to non-speedway fans: all riders have a points-per-match rating and at the start of the season a team's combined total may not exceed a certain figure. Averages for the new season come into play after 12 matches and, if the combined total is then lower than the starting figure, they can make changes to strengthen their line-up to the permitted total).

Poole, of course, deny doing anything of the sort. Fair enough. Their riders were inexplicably out of touch and, once they reached the 13th match, they found form again. It can happen. Meanwhile, the drop in their averages allowed them to bring in Grand Prix star Hans Andersen and now, with Andersen joining Bjarne Pedersen and Chris Holder, they have arguably the strongest spearhead since Ipswich tracked Gollob, Rickardsson, Nicholls and Louis in 1998 (a year of six-man teams, at that).

Meanwhile, Poole boss Matt Ford is complaining that his crowds have dropped. Well, when I was at Poole recently all the fans I met seemed to believe that dodgy dealings were taking place. Whether they were right or wrong, it's hardly surprising that some of them had voted with their feet. No doubt Andersen's arrival will being them many of them back.

Once upon a time, a minor competition was held at the start of the top-division season and averages in that counted, allowing teams to pull all sorts of strokes before the actual league racing got under way.

Action was taken to stop that; now it's straight into league action. That should have ruled out any fiddling. Poole, for example, have now ridden 14 of their 32 league matches and are already 20 points behind table-topping Wolverhampton, who also have a match in hand. However strong their team, they have little chance of closing that gap. But they don't have to, do they?

The team finishing top of the table aren't the champions any more. Oh no. They just qualify for the play-offs which decide the official champions. And this year six of the nine teams will make the play-offs. The Pirates will be there for sure and, even if they finish sixth, it will take a great side to beat them in a two-leg play-off (in previous seasons, remember, only four teams made the play-offs and the semi-finals were single-leg affairs on the track of the higher-placed teams, as a result of which the top two in the table invariably made the final. Which is how it should be).

Alas, TV demands an exciting finish to the season so no doubt the play-offs are here to stay. But let's have some reward for the league winners, please.

One other note: despite their wretched start and all the consequent finger-pointing, Poole aren't actually bottom of the table. Belle Vue are, thanks to some startling inept performances from thir top men. And which team 'owns' Jason Crump, another of the big names who has, so far, decided not to ride in the Elite League this season? Ah, that would be Belle Vue.