Scott's Blog Of Doom!

Fwd: DDP Yoga story

2013-05-25T10:34:00.001-06:00

Local news did a story on DDP Yoga:

http://www.cbsatlanta.com/story/22400751/tomorrow-night-at-11-transforming-lives-through-ddp-yoga

Matthew

Good for him!

WM = Not Many Buys

2013-05-25T10:02:00.001-06:00

Woof.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/118-daily-updates/31448-wwe-releases-wrestlemania-buy-number

“WWE released its updated estimate of buys for WrestleMania, the first official company number, which was 1,048,000 worldwide.”

I think we can state without fear of contradiction that it was NOT HHH’s fault.

Match of the Day

2013-05-24T22:23:00.001-06:00

> (warning: MOTYC)
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVuOICPZqm4

Whew, glad you warned me.

Smackdown - May 24, 2013

2013-05-24T19:59:00.003-06:00

Smackdown

Date: May 24, 2013

Location: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska

Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We're past Extreme Rules and the main story is of course HHH. He collapsed at the end of Raw while Curtis Axel was laying in the ring with no one paying a bit of attention to him, so odds are we'll hear about getting an update on him on Raw tonight. Other than that we have Del Rio confirmed as the #1 contender for Ziggler whenever Dolph is healthy again. Let's get to it.

We open with a recap of the HHH/Heyman stuff from both Extreme Rules and Raw. We also get a little bit about Shield winning three belts as tonight it's Kofi vs. Ambrose for the US Title.

Here's the Miz for MizTV to open the show. Miz says that he's versatile because he's going to host this show and then he'll win back the Intercontinental Title soon after. The guest tonight is Fandango who thankfully brings Summer Rae with him. Before Miz can ask him a question, Fandango stops him for the correct pronunciation of his name. Miz counters with some “reallys” and shows us a clip of the tag match from Raw where Fandango stopped for a dance.

Miz wants to know how obnoxious Fandango is. Fandango threatens to dance all over the face of anyone who comes near Summer before questioning Miz's own ego. Miz says that Fandango looks like a dancing bag of Skittles which isn't too far from accurate. The fans chant bag of Skittles, making Miz declare Fandango the new Fruity Pebbles. This brings out Wade Barrett with his horrible new music.

Barrett says he'll get to Miz in a minute but first of all he's angry at Fandango for tiptoeing through the tulips instead of being Barrett's partner. Wade threatens Fandango if he ever does that again, so Fandango corrects his pronunciation. Miz says Barrett needs to focus on him because Miz has a title shot later tonight. Barrett punches Miz in the face and the brawl is on. Fandango and Summer leave as a referee comes out to break it up.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

This is joined in progress after a break with Miz challenging. Fandango is also sitting in on commentary. Miz fights out of a chinlock and hits a flapjack, only to be taken down by a back elbow. Fandango says that he had to go to the back on Monday because his glitter was coming off. Barrett puts Miz on the top rope for a kick to the ribs for two and it's off to a chinlock.

Back up and Miz hits a running knee lift and a bit boot. Fandango asks JBL to hit his music because apparently Bradshaw can do that. It's time for some dancing as well as for the Winds of Change to Miz for two. Miz gets two of his own off a rollup before hitting a baseball slide to Fandango. A dropkick takes out Barrett's knee but Fandango kicks Miz in the head for the DQ at 2:56 shown. This was angle advancement and barely a match at all.

Fandango and Barrett double team Miz post match but Barrett hits Fandango with the Bull Hammer as a receipt for Monday night. In something you almost never get to say anymore, Barrett stands tall.

Daniel Bryan is muttering to himself in the back when Kane comes in. He says that they both lost the titles, which Bryan interprets as Kane blaming him. Bryan insists that he isn't the weak link as his paranoia continues.

Jack Swagger vs. Daniel Bryan

No entrance for Swagger again. Bryan goes right at Swagger and pounds away before sending Jack to the floor for the suicide dive. He fires off kicks to the chest against the barricade before taking it back inside for a near fall off a missile dropkick. Jack takes Bryan down off of a clothesline before putting him in the Tree of Woe for some knees. We take a break and come back with the two of them colliding before Bryan hits a running kick to the face in the corner.

More kicks to the chest have Jack in trouble and a running kick to the face gets two. Swagger finally catches one of the kicks in a high angle belly to belly for two of his own. Daniel rolls out of a gutwrench suplex but gets caught in the Patriot Lock, only to be rolled through for another near fall. The Vader Bomb hits knees and a HARD kick to Swagger's head sees Bryan not cover but rather stomp Swagger even more. There's the NO Lock for the tap out at 5:36 shown of 9:06.

Rating: C+. This was pretty decent and it's cool to see a far more aggressive Bryan. I could go with the idea of him destroying people because he wants to prove how awesome he is in the ring. Also, when is the last time he beat someone with the NO Lock? It also seems that Swagger is back in the midcard all over again, which is pretty much what was expected once this feud with Del Rio died down.

Post match Bryan beats on him even more. The referee mentioned something about reversing the decision but no official announcement was ever made.

We get a package of stills from the last man standing match on Sunday. Cena will be back on Raw.

We also get all the Ryback stuff from Monday with him challenging for an ambulance match and throwing Ryder in the ambulance.

Here's Damien Sandow in the ring wearing a suit. There's a table in front of him and as usual, he seems annoyed. Sandow talks about seeing two people compete in a series of stupid competitions, ranging from a tug of war to arm wrestling to a truck pull. Tonight, Sandow wants them to deal with some mental issues. There's a tied up rope on the table and we hear the story of the Gordian Knot. Sandow has Matt Striker try to untie the knot while making fun of the education system when Striker can't do it.

Cue Sheamus who makes fun of Sandow's hobby of playing with knots. Sheamus talks about playing with Rubic's Cubes as a kid before picking up the knot. He tries to untie it but Sandow gets impatient. Damien pulls out a pair of bolt cutters and hacks it up. Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick but Damien bails to the floor, shouting I KNEW IT! Instead Shaemus offers to teach him about Newton's Law, which means he throws Striker through the ropes at Sandow. Your lesson of the night: when you get outsmarted, throw human beings.

Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

That's a pretty fast recovery from Orton's punt. Jericho charges straight at Big Show for some reason as Matthews compares Jericho to Johnny Depp. JBL: “Johnny Depp never has been been inside a WWE ring and neither has Jay Silverheels or Tonto.” Show shoves him down with ease and catches Jericho in a bearhug. He lets it go for no apparent reason, allowing Jericho to dropkick Show's knee out and pound away, only to be caught by a spear for two. Jericho escapes the chokeslam attempt and goes up, only to jump into a loud chop to the chest.

Show goes to the middle rope but misses an elbow drop, allowing Jericho to hit the Lionsault for two. The Codebreaker is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Show pulls him up with a chokeslam, only to be pulled down by a DDT for two. The Walls are easily shoved away and there's the chokeslam but Jericho rolls to the floor. Jericho escapes a ram into the post by sending Show into the post himself. Jericho hits a decent Codebreaker to send Show into the timekeeper's area which is good for a countout win for Jericho at 6:30.

Rating: C. As usual, there's only so much Jericho can do with a guy Big Show's size but they tried. The Codebreaker was better than I would have expected and Jericho managed to not get crushed. This is also a good win for Jericho to bounce back with, as both guys are capable of losing match after match but be just fine.

Post match Big Show picks up a chair but Jericho kicks it out of his hands and beats Big Show with it for fun.

The Raw ReBound is the introduction of Curtis Axel and the match with HHH, followed by HHH collapsing.

Here are Heyman and Axel with something to say. Heyman brags about his success with Lesnar and Punk and now he's pointing his finger at Axel. Curtis himself gets to speak and says that in one night, he accomplished more than his father and grandfather ever accomplished. He took HHH's best shot and then left him laying. Curtis says that he won on Monday and says his name a few more times. That was just day one and tonight is day two.

Curtis Axel vs. Sin Cara

This is joined in progress after the break with the stupid lights back again. Sin Cara spines out of a fireman's carry before firing off some kicks. A standing rana takes Curtis down and there's the wrist drag out of the corner. Curtis throws Cara to the apron and stomps away in the corner. Randy Orton is talking about Curtis Axel RIGHT NOW on the WWE App. Cara comes back with the Tajiri handspring elbow and a crossbody for two. A top rope version of the crossbody misses though and the formerly known McGillicutter (running one arm neckbreaker) gets the pin on Cara at 3:00 shown.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but at least Axel got the win. Why he couldn't have hit that move on Monday and won by countout or something is beyond me, but I'm sure he somehow got a bigger rub by not winning than winning or something like that. Anyway, he looks fine here and while it would be interesting to see him go straight at someone like Orton right away, I can't picture that happening.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

Kofi is challenging of course. Dean goes it alone on this one and seems to have some fans on his side. Kofi fires off some kicks and right hands but gets taken down by a fast shoulder block. Back up and Kofi gets no count off a dropkick before getting taken down by another shoulder. Ambrose chokes with his leg on the mat but Kofi fires off more dropkicks. A middle rope ax handle gets two on Dean but as Kofi goes up top he has to dive on Reigns outside. Roman and Seth come in for the DQ at 2:30.

Post match Shield beats on Kofi until Sheamus and Randy Orton make the save. If you're a Smackdown fan, you know the drill from here.

Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Shield

Joined in progress again with Sheamus slamming Reigns down for two. Off to Orton for some headbutts to Rollins and right hands in the corner. Kofi comes in to work on the arm for a bit before it's back to Randy to crank on the arm as well. Rollins finally gets in a knee to the face and makes the tag off to Ambrose who takes the US Champion down with ease. A knee rake across the face allows for the tag back to Sheamus but Ambrose gets in a shot to the ribs.

Back to Rollins who pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in mid air off a middle rope cross body. Reigns and Ambrose have to save their partner from the ten forearms to the chest as we take a break. Back with Ambrose hitting a knee to Sheamus' ribs before it's back to Reigns for stomps in the corner and a lot of trash talk. Sheamus fights out and avoids a charge from Reigns, sending him shoulder first into the post. Hot tag brings in Orton for all his favorites, including the Elevated DDT.

Ambrose bails to the floor to avoid the RKO and Reigns gets in a shot to Orton. Reigns comes up limping though, which is apparently a legit ankle injury. Back in and Rollins pounds on Orton before it's back to Dean for a front facelock. Rollins comes in again for some right hands to the head as this is basically a handicap match now. Randy gets in a right hand but gets caught in a downward spiral into the middle buckle to put him right back down. Orton comes back with more right hands and snaps off a quick superplex to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Sheamus to face Ambrose (Reigns didn't have his hand out but was instead waving Rollins over to Ambrose) and house is cleaned. Even Reigns takes a shoulder to the ribs before Ambrose is hit with the rolling senton into the forearms to Rollins' chest. Reigns breaks up White Noise on Dean with a spear but rolls to the floor for an RKO from from Orton. Kofi comes in and gets two on Dean, but it's Rollins tripping Kingston up, allowing Dean to hit the bulldog driver for the pin at 11:48 shown of 15:18.

Rating: B-. The usual good wild six man tag for Shield here. The fact that Reigns was able to take a shot to the ribs, throw a spear and then take an RKO suggests that the injury isn't all that bad so maybe he just tweaked the ankle a bit. We also got the ending we needed here with Dean pinning Kofi, so hopefully we don't have to sit through another rematch on PPV between them.

Overall Rating: B. This show worked well for the most part. We got the potential start of a three way feud for the Intercontinental Title, Bryan being edgier, Axel winning a match and the usual good Shield match. On the other hand, I'm not sure where Jericho vs. Big Show can go that would be all that interesting. Also what was up with that Sheamus segment? I can't imagine him in a feud with Sandow after how many times he's beaten Damien up. Also the segment didn't really tell us anything we didn't already know, so what was the point of that? Good show this week for the most part though.

Results

The Miz b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Fandango interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – NO Lock

Chris Jericho b. Big Show via countout

Curtis Axel b. Sin Cara – McGillicutter

Kofi Kingston b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Sheamus/Randy Orton – Bulldog Driver to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com

WWE v. Tornadoes

2013-05-24T12:06:00.001-06:00

"Nice to see TNA offering good wishes to those hit by the tornado,
whereas WWE offers nothing."
Is WWE allowed to have a show since the tornadoes hit first before they get criticized? And no, I'm not counting the Wednesday show nobody watches.

The tornado story happened WELL before RAW was on the air, and probably before they even finished rewriting the script for the millionth time. And no one’s asking for a big graphic like TNA does when something happens that day, but wilfully ignoring it like WWE does because it doesn’t match up with their corporate mandate of “making people smile” is bullshit. They could at least have had Michael Cole stop shilling the WWE app for 4 seconds to say “Best wishes to those in Boston” or “Hey, Jim Ross lives 10 miles from the tornado disaster, but he’s OK.” But if it’s not a cause where they can produce 5 minute video packages about themselves and how fucking great they are for RISING ABOVE BREAST CANCER or RISING ABOVE BULLYING or whatever, then it doesn’t exist for them.

You know who I want them to produce a video package about and sponsor? DDP. He is saving lives that were destroyed by the business in a very real way, and WWE should be pumping money into DDP Yoga instead of bankrolling losers like Tammy Sytch. Hell, they should have sent Tammy to DDP instead of cutting her off!

Feedbag Feedback: 02.16.2002

2013-05-24T11:19:00.001-06:00

It's time once again for everybody to come aboard the FEEDBACK FEEDBAG!

What with my intermittently buggy internet connection over the past couple of weeks, I've been behind in my mailbaggery, so let's get caught up right now, shall we?

Jonathan McDonald (any relation to Ronald?) wants to know a bunch of stuff...

"I'll start off with a few questions.........
I know you've said that Austin?Michaels vs Bulldog/Owen was one of your favourite matches from Raw but what is your favourite Smackdown match and what Rating would you give it?
What would you rate TLC 3?
What was Madusa saying(and the announcers) when she dumped the title in the trash on Nitro back a while ago.
What is YOUR personal fav. wwf match from the new millenium to now?
Now some comments....................
I've read all the PPV rants you've done and some things I disagree with are.................
Austin vs Hart at SS 96 getting five stars. It was a great match with lots of submissions, but I think it was a bit too slow at some points.
Angle vs Austin from SS 2001 only getting four and a half stars. I know the ending prevents it from getting a perfect five, but I don't think a bad ending takes that much away.You did give Mankind/Michaels ***** with a DQ.
Anyway I'll end off by saying awsome job and unlike Just For Laughs, and Mike Bullard you seem to be the only Canadian thing that remain funny forever."

Thanks, Jon, for that very backhanded compliment to end the letter. Funnier than Just For Laughs? (Man, Mike Bullard, now there’s a dated Canadian reference.)

Okay, onto the answers...

1) Best Smackdown match ever is tough, but I'd probably go with Austin-Benoit from Edmonton, which I rated at ***** (and keep in mind that I'm extremely biased towards both guys). HHH-Benoit from Feb. 2000 was also excellent, as was the TLC match. (To this day I’m still fucking pissed that my tickets for that Smackdown with Austin-Benoit didn’t arrive on time. I learned the valuable lesson of having tickets left at the Will Call window instead, although thankfully I got to see the RAW in Calgary the night before. I’m also partly bitter because my roommate called me from the arena, during the match, yelling “THIS IS THE BEST MATCH I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!”)

2) TLC3, if you're referring to the 4-team match from Smackdown, was about ****1/2 in my eyes.

3) I don't know what Madusa was saying because I've never seen the segment in question. We didn't get Nitro up here until 1998. (She was saying “There’s no way this can backfire on me. I’ll just call Vince again if this doesn’t work out.”)

4) My personal favorite match from 2000 until today is the Benoit-Jericho v. Austin-HHH tag match from RAW, which was just amazing on so many levels for a TV match and may have indirectly set up Jericho-HHH for Wrestlemania X-8. I think Austin-HHH was technically better, but I just felt good after watching the tag match.

5) As for the comments, star ratings are of course subjective, but the ending to Angle-Austin was just SO horrible given the storyline and build that I couldn't possibly give it ***** in good conscience. Michaels-Mankind may have had a DQ, but it was a nothing match that wasn't built on or built to and it had no long-term ramifications. Thus, I judged it mainly as a standalone exhibition, and the lack of a finish was easily overlooked.

An AOL dude asks...

"What happened to the world hero federation experiment you were working on? I
noticed you stopped at episode 4. Im not really into comics but i'll admit i
really was enjoying the WHF, much like i enjoy most of your work. Any plans
on continuing the series? thanks for the time."

I discontinued the series because it took a lot of creative energy on my part to keep everything straight, and I wanted to save it for the book (Tonight...In This Very Ring, coming Fall 2002!). To be honest, the only way I think I'd want to continue with the series now is if I can get my agent to weasel me in with the new WWF Pocketbooks line and turn it into an actual WWF-authorized novel of some sort. Otherwise, it's too much work to carry on as a side project. (Fiction just isn’t my bag. As noted it was a LOT of work for me to come up with it, and given the relatively measly output that came from it, it didn’t seem worth all the trouble.)

Another AOL guy writes...

"I have read your archives and I saw you mention something about "Three superkicks to the big guy" or something like that while talking about Eric Bischoff. What exactly is that about? "

What is this, Ask the Rick?

The quote is "Don't bother changing the channel...he beats the big guy with three superkicks", and it happened on an early edition of Nitro in 1995 as a form of guerrilla counterprogramming when the WWF ran a Sid-Shawn title match on RAW. That title match was taped three weeks prior, so Bischoff, during another match on Nitro, simply gave away the finish (which, indeed, was what happened -- Shawn pinned Sid with three superkicks) and I believe received an angry letter from the WWF legal department soon after.

Aaron Goff asks...

"Whatever happened to the 2001 smarkies awards??"

We went to check the envelope for the winners, but discovered that someone had switched them for some pictures of Baby Doll & Dusty Rhodes, with a note attached saying "If found, please return to Larry Z." postmarked Jan. 1988. (HIGH FIVE! Anyone?)

Daniel Alter writes...

"I am writing this note for two reasons really:
1. I wanted to say that I really enjoy your recaps. I first read your stuff on Wrestleline (RIP) and then moved onto TheSmarks / 411. You're a pretty funny guy (and that's a damn fine compliment coming from a Brit!!)
2. My friend, who works at a video publishing/marketing company gave me a copy of "Before they were Superstars" on VHS about a month ago. I now hear that this is probably going to be the next Fanatics PPV.
For the record, if the PPV is the same as my video I wouldn't want anyone to waste their money on this. Although I can't remember all the fights off-hand, you get to see Jeff Jarrett in the USWA, Undertaker pre-WCW (USWA too??), Jeff and Matt Hardy in pre-WWF singles matches, and Lance Storm + Jericho in a tag-team match (can't remember the which fed though). Basically, the Storm/Jericho match is amazing (Jericho in full-on crimson mask mode!!) but the rest is horrendous (an understatement to say the least).
Now...I have promised my friend not to copy this tape and I would like to uphold this promise. However, I am willing to send in a review to you (I'm a pretty handy writer so I promise to entertain and inform, or something along those lines...). Tell me if you're interested and I'll have a go (promises of free stuff will most probably hasten the writing process too...)."

Well, Dan, thanks for the offer and the summary of the tape, but I can probably handle the review myself when the tape actually comes out. That Jericho match you're referring to is from the Night of Champions in SMW, though, and it's ****1/2 and well worth the price of the tape if it's uncut.

Andre Triplett (any relation to Jarod?) writes...

" I would like to thank you for putting a link to your tape reviews and unknowingly allowing fans of your like me to go to the page where the appendixes and the stories and the real story behind "The Screwjob" from November '97. I still love Shawn Michaels though. Once again thanks a lot.
P.S. A while ago you wrote at the end of a column Tinsley Grimes was the hottest girl alive. Well, I disagree. Destiny's Child lead singer Beyonce Knowles is way hotter than her and now that I think about that I don't think I've ever read you say something about a black woman other than Jackie and Jazz. I know you live in Canada, but you can see black women up there, can't you?"

Well, Andre, I don't actually listen to and/or pay attention to shitty prefabricated girl bands like Destiny's Child, but I've seen Beyonce and I don't see the big deal. (She’s married now anyway. And yes, this was written WAY before Beyonce and Destiny’s Child would have ever been on my pop culture radar.) And as for my lack of comments on black women in general...well, that's kinda silly, really. Jazz was hired for her in-ring ability, not her looks, as was Jackie. Their purpose is to wrestle and train, respectively, not be eye candy like the other 90% of the women in the WWF. For the record, if they were to find a black woman who met my standards of what defines "attractive" (like Pam Grier, minus about 15 years), I would have no problem slobbering over her like an idiot, too, but they haven't yet. C'est la vie. (Clearly I’m a racist.)

Richard Jenkins says...

"Enough is enough! Seriously, when will ever end?
When will it ever end????
Is there ever going to be an actual big announcement
on one of these shows? Stephanie is gonna be the
guest referee?? Stephanie is gonna be the guest
referee?????? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
For the love of God, doesn't anyone ANYONE in the WWF
writing team or bookers or whatever the hell you want
to call them know that WE ALL HATE STEPHANIE! Not in
the heel sort of love to hate way, but JUST PLAIN HATE
HER! What the hell man! What the hell! Why the hell
does this bitch have such an ego that she feels she
needs to be on TV alllllll the freakin time! WHY WHY
WHY WHY! Shane is at least keeping himself off TV,
and I sure wouldn't mind seeing him back if she left.
Okay I am now pleading with the WWF for this angle:
Stephanie dies. Seriously, you can dedicate an entire
freakin show to her as long as we NEVER EVER EVER EVER
see her again after that! Man oh man!"

I think someone has a crush on Stephanie. (Too bad she’s married now, too)

Nick Graham sent me a lengthy letter, so I'll be a great guy and print it here...

" The Primetime Network Wrestling Show…Once a Holy Grail,
Now a Convenience Store Men's Room Toilet
Not very long ago, the concept of having a wrestling program in a primetime slot on a broadcast network was the holy grail of the modern wrestling promoter. McMahon wanted it, Bischoff (remember him?) wanted it, any wrestling promoter with half a brain wanted it. Unfortunately, up until a few years ago, any of the “big 3” (now the big 5) would scoff at such an idea. They were simply too high class for “wrasslin”. Mind you this was before the age of “Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire”, “Temptation Island”, “Fear Factor”, and every other worthless “reality” show and special that consumes primetime TV today. Even during the wrestling boom of the mid-eighties, when it would have been profitable for any network to run WWF programming, NBC would only air it once a month at 10:30 on Saturday night (though to be fair, it was SNL’s timeslot, so NBC was sacrificing one of their flagship shows). The WWF popped up once or twice on Fox (before they really had any credibility) in the early nineties, but that was about the sum off all the wrestling programming on broadcast networks, not counting news coverage of the WWF steroid trials.
Cut to 1999. Two new networks have been born, both with the backing of huge media conglomerates. The first is UPN, whose flagship show is yet another Star Trek spin-off, and a few urban aimed sitcoms. The other is WB, whose flagship is…well, it doesn’t really have a flagship, just a bunch of lame new sitcoms. It is assumed UPN will be the first to reach profitability, and some wonder if the WB will even exist within two years. UPN does okay, mainly due to a Star Trek fan base who just can’t get enough spin-offs of the original sci-fi classic. Things aren’t all that great though, as Star Trek is about ALL they have going for them.
The WB, on the other hand has started picking up a lot of momentum with a couple of teen series and a popular family series. Soon, UPN affiliate stations start becoming WB affiliate stations, and UPN is in trouble….as all the Trekkies in the world do not equal the path to profitability. Dean Valentine, who is running the (sinking) ship over at UPN, comes to realize that the quickest way to a big boost in ratings is to latch on to a form of entertainment that is currently enjoying even bigger mainstream success than it did back in those years of monthly Saturday night shows on NBC, pro wrestling. Of course, the big dog in the world of professional wrestling is Vince McMahon and the WWF, so Valentine’s people call Vince’s people, and voila, pro wrestling achieves a goal not many thought it could, a primetime slot on a national network. Vince once again had something to brag about, and in August 1999, emanating from Kemper Arena in Kansas City, WWF Smackdown was born. No expense is spared, as we get fancy new sets, new pyro, a new ring (well, at least new ring ropes and aprons), the whole nine yards. Anyways, ratings were good, and quite honestly Smackdown pretty much saved UPN from the edge of extinction (or even worse, the butt of a lot of lame jokes on Leno). Now that Vince had his dream, people worried (well, at least I did) that he would load up Smackdown with all the important angles, and demote RAW from its status as the WWF’s primary show. Thankfully, the WWF seemed to level things out. Now seeing as how I only started getting UPN a little over a year ago, I cannot really criticize the quality of the show’s first year and a half of existence. Looking over brief recaps of all the shows of 1999 and 2000, it looks like they put a decent amount of effort into things (though the majority of any title changes I see are meaningless tag title changes).
So now, we cut to the present. I finally get access to UPN. At first, I am kind of hyped, as I can finally see Smackdown. Soon enough, my hype turns to indifference. For the most part, it becomes apparent Smackdown isn’t much more than Heat with the top-level guys. Any big angles are just continuations or lame conclusions to angles already started on RAW. If this weeks RAW was awesome, prepare to be brought back to the reality that a good WWF TV show these days is just a fluke. If RAW was awful this week, prepare for even worse. Any title changes are for belts that have no value (then again, that sums up every belt other than the Undisputed title). Instead of Vince taking advantage of this opportunity to attract people who decide they don’t want to watch that rerun of Friends, he unleashes a “gravy bowl” match or a Billy and Chuck posedown (carefully planned so as not to upset the people of GLAAD). What once was Vince’s big opportunity for a bigger audience…his “dream”…now more closely resembles another kind of dream, namely, “The American Dream”, Dusty Rhodes, with booking to match. Why can’t the WWF use the undercard of Smackdown to show us guys they can’t fit into two hours of RAW (lest they cramp a McMahon’s airtime)? Billy and Chuck, Kane, and The Big Show get enough of my time on RAW, while others who could use the spotlight of Smackdown are stuck on Heat *cough* Lance Storm *cough*. I guess it’s just another example of Vince and company taking a big opportunity that he’s always wanted (Invasion angle, anyone?) and blowing it via sheer stupidity."

No arguments about any of that from me, Nick.

Jason Davoodi does us all a great service by letting us know...

"Hey, these guys at Well Hung at Dawn are huge wrestling fans, and they give you some props in this week's column. And they're fucking brilliant. (Even though I like Radiohead.) Check it out.
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/newsarticle.asp?nid=15417&cf2=1 "

And there I am, too. Wow, first Entertainment Weekly and now this. Tomorrow, THE WORLD! (The link is no longer functional, but through the MAGIC of Wayback, here’s the quote:)

SMARK OF THE YEAR
Pat McNeill of PWTorch.com
While the great Scott Keith's RAW & Smarkdown! Rants (found Tuesdays and Fridays at 411wrestling.com) remain uproarious required reading, McNeill has been consistently on target of late, in his comedy, his criticism, and his fantasy booking. And besides, a Canadian has the Strap these days -- we Americans needs heroes too, you know.

And finally, Corwin Haughr gets the last word...

"1. Who are voting for (If you can vote) in the upcoming Alliance leadership race?
2. What do you think about the Sale/Pelletier Pairs Figure Skating Controversy?
3. Will Canada win the Gold in Hockey at these Olympics"

1. I'm not an official party member, and even if I was I wouldn't vote at this point. I don't see anyone who can lead them to anything. (Not true, as it turned out. Stephen Harper won that leadership election, and then the Alliance party merged with the dying Conservative party and he went on to become Prime Minister of Canada and he has been for quite a while now.)

2. Well, first that jerk Nikita Koloff cheated Magnum TA out of the US title, and now this. No wonder Reagan wanted to nuke them.

3. I dunno, but all those weeks of beer commercials say that they'd better or they'll look REALLY stupid. (Canadians will know what I'm talking about) (They did win the Gold, both men’s and women’s.)

Until next time, let's close up the feedbag and remember...buy the book so I can crack Meltzer's book list at least once. Just for my own personal satisfaction.

Rock Star Gary repost: WWF RAW IS OWEN

2013-05-24T09:20:00.002-06:00

As promised here is the subsequent RAW after Over the Edge. Once again my opinions have not changed; however, some editing has taken place. Enjoy! RIP Owen Hart 1965-1999.

Live from St. Louis, MO

Airdate: May 24, 1999

Hosted by Jim Ross (JR) and Jerry “the King” Lawler

JR opens the show by pointing out that all the WWF Superstars are by the curtain and on the entrance ramp to pay tribute to the late Owen Hart. Vince, Linda, and Stephanie McMahon are shown prominently in the front. Crowd chants for Owen. Howard Finkel asks the audience to rise and join the WWF Superstars “to pay our respects to Owen Hart” for a ceremonial 10 bell salute. Tears run down the face of Mark Henry. Jarrett is also shown weeping. Finkel then directs everyone to watch the Titantron for a video tribute to Owen.

Vince McMahon narrates footage that truly depicts Owen Hart as a special performer and person who will be missed greatly by everyone.

JR then introduces us to “one of the most unique broadcasts ever in the genre of sports entertainment here tonight”. The show will be a 2-hour tribute to the life of Owen Hart. Along with 10 unique match-ups there will be sentiments shown between the matches of the WWF Superstars and how Owen impacted their lives and careers.

Mick Foley offers his sentiments to his friend Owen. He states that Owen was his son Dewey’s favorite wrestler. The “Nugget” chant was loved by Mick’s children. Mick mentions that Owen talked about his family quite often.

Bradshaw then discusses Owen’s penchant for being “cheap on the road”. Bradshaw also notes the reason he did that was because he wanted to retire early and spend time with his family.

Match 1: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Debra) versus Test

Before Jarrett’s opponent can be introduced he lets us know that Owen never was a “nugget”. Test makes his way out and the contest starts right away. Jarrett drops his leg over the back of Test’s neck across the ropes then struts. To the corner Test hits boot on a blind charge but then Jarrett walks right into boot to the face. Test lifts Jarrett into a fireman’s carry and drops him face-first. Sidewalk slam puts Jarrett on the mat. Debra walks up the steel steps wearing a pink dress suit. The crowd begins to chant for “puppies”. Test then slams Jarrett and heads to the top rope. Unfortunately for him he jumps directly into a boot from Jarrett. Shoulder-first DDT by Jarrett takes Test down. In retaliation Test delivers a clothesline and then a powerbomb for a near fall. Debra is now up on the apron. She opens her top to reveal a sexy white bra to distract Test. Test falls for it and gets slapped. Jarrett then delivers the Stroke. Instead of going for the pin he puts Test in the sharpshooter in memory of Owen. Test taps out!

Owen’s sharpshooter was an excellent gesture by Jarrett here. Test shows a lot of promise in this match. Jarrett, Test, and Debra all wore armbands in memory of Owen.

Mark Henry recites a poem he wrote for Owen. He states that when Owen died it felt like “hands around my throat”. His poem supposedly was titled “Burn When You Cry.”

Droz offers his thoughts. He believes that Owen lifts people’s spirits either at his own or someone else’s expense with his practical jokes. While Henry’s tone was very somber Droz’s tone is upbeat because he’ll always remember Owen as a “great guy.”

Match 2 for the WWF tag team titles: X-Pac and Kane (champions) versus The Brood

X-Pac wears the armband here as does Edge. JR compares The Brood to the Freebirds as a trio acting as an interchangeable tag team. Edge and X-Pac start off. Similar to last night JR notes that all the competitors in the match are in their 20s. It really was a dig at WCW for showcasing wrestlers in their 40s such as Piper and Flair. Shoulderblock by Edge leads to a spinning heel kick to put X-Pac down. Fast-paced action by both athletes sends Edge to the canvas after he receives a heel kick. X-Pac celebrates with a crotch chop as Gangrel tags in. Kane also tags in but gets double-DDTed by The Brood. He no-sells and gives a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to Edge and a high back bodydrop to Gangrel. Christian comes in and receives a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for his troubles. X-Pac tags in and lands a series of kicks to Edge in his corner. However, he gets knocked to the outside where Gangrel and Christian double-team him. They throw him back in. Edge misses a blind corner splash and receives an enziguri to send him into the middle of next week. Tags are made by both teams. Kane hits Gangrel with a flying clothesline from the top rope! He then boots Edge and Gangrel in the face. Clothesline to Edge leads to X-Pac’s Bronco Buster! In the meantime Kane chokeslams Gangrel. Kane then lifts X-Pac up and splashes Gangrel for the pin!

While the finish was their own the heel kicks and enziguri were nice nods to Owen. The tandem double-team finish was entertaining as well.

HHH and Chyna take their turns to discuss Owen. Chyna remembers Owen for making people laugh. HHH appears to be very heartbroken. He states: “In a business where you often see the worst..in people’s personalites we’re like a family…Owen was always one that was at his best.” HHH tells us at the Royal Rumble Owen was the only guy tough enough to schoolboy and backslide him and not allow him to get free. Owen will always have a place in HHH’s heart and be his friend. He loves and will never forget Owen.

Dave Hebner joins us and tells us that Owen always wanted to make sure everyone had a great day. Owen was a caring and giving man to others. According to Dave as a gag “He’d (Owen) tie my shoes together when I went down for the count.”

Match 3: The Hardy Boyz (with Michael Hayes) versus Taka Michinoku and Sho Funaki

I’ll try my best to keep up with this since it’s definitely going to be fast-paced. All four competitors along with Michael Hayes are wearing the Owen black armband. Matt starts the match off with a suplex to Funaki. After a missed clothesline Matt receives a flying forearm. Taka tags in and delivers a spinebuster to Matt. Funaki holds Matt in a camel clutch while Taka dropkicks Matt directly in the face! A tornado DDT is telegraphed by Taka. Jeff tags in and hits a senton to Taka on the floor! The Hardyz then deliver a Whisper in the Wind to Taka. A double-team maneuver lands Taka on his face. Jeff then misses a corkscrew moonsault off the top. Taka applies the Michinoku Driver to Jeff. Both teams tag out. Funaki hits each Hardy with a dropkick. Clothesline by Matt sends both men outside. Hayes grabs Funaki and whips him into a Jeff Hardy dropkick! Taka also seeks some frequent flyer miles and leaps from the top rope onto everyone! Funaki and Matt re-enter the ring. Matt delivers the Twist of Fate to Funaki for the pin!

The Hardy Boyz were definitely on the upswing of their careers here. If only they could keep their heads on straight.

Bruce Pritchard gives us his thoughts on Owen. He refers to Owen as a “great practical joker and a tremendous performer in the ring.”

Dustin Runnels credits Owen as a great family man. He relates a funny story about Harley Race. Owen put an entire bottle of hot sauce in Harley’s chili when he wasn’t looking. Harley got so mad that he broke out his stun gun for Owen.

Match 4: Hardcore Holly versus Ken Shamrock

Add Holly to the list of wrestlers wearing an Owen armband. Shamrock and Holly start off with some mat wrestling which leads to a sweet Northern Lights suplex from Shamrock! He hits a heel kick and then a huracanrana to Holly! Shamrock immediately takes him down and applies the anklelock. Holly taps out!

Very quick match. Shamrock showcased himself well here.

Faarooq says that he’ll miss Owen a lot. Test relates a story about the boys in Chicago a few months ago doing a double-shot . The first show was cancelled due to bad weather so the guys had to wait at the hotel to find out if they had to work the second show. Test receives a phone call from the local promoter. By the end of the call the promoter says “he’ll tell them that Test said to cancel the show”. Test didn’t find out about it until this morning that it was Owen who had called him. Great prank. Horrible timing on the discovery however.

Match 5: “Mr. Ass” versus Mankind

Chalk up Billy Gunn as an armband wearer. Billy incites the crowd by saying: “If you’re not down with Owen Hart, I got two words for ya!” The crowd obliges with the normal response. JR relates a story where Owen stole his hat before a TV taping. Crowd chants for Foley. After some fists are exchanged Mankind backdrops Gunn and clotheslines him out of the ring. Mankind follows him and introduces Gunn’s face to the steel steps. Back in the ring Gunn dropkicks Mankind on the knee. He works the knee on the ropes then clips Mankind. Next he grabs a chair from ringside, but in the ring Mankind preps Mr. Socko. Gunn gets on the apron and is forced to eat Mr. Socko. Gunn gets counted out! Mick then gives a “Whoo!” for Owen after the match.

While the slow burn for “Mr. Ass” continues the star of the match really was Mick.

Jeff Jarrett mentions that in this business there are a lot of acquaintances but very few friends. On the verge of tears he calls Owen his friend. When he thinks of Owen he thinks of integrity. He calls Owen a “man’s man.” Owen made coming to work fun for Jeff.

In a feature taped earlier today at an undetermined outdoor location Michael Cole talks about the matchup between The Rock and HHH at Over The Edge last night. After some highlights Cole discusses the WWF title match. Highlights of that match are then shown. Considering there was no replay to sell showing highlights of the two main matches including the finishes was a kind gesture to the WWF audience.

Edge offers his feelings on Owen. He refers to Owen as the “leader of a Canadian mafia” when it came to the boys. He felt honored that he wrestled Owen in his last match in Chicago.

Match 6: D’Lo Brown and Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry (w/ Ivory) versus The Acolytes

Everyone in the match, including Ivory, wears the Owen armband. Faarooq and Henry start off. To try to take Henry off his feet Faarooq tries a standing shoulderblock, leg kicks, and then a running shoulderblock. He charges Henry but gets caught with a powerslam. D’Lo tags in but immediately gets a jawbreaker. Bradshaw tags in and works over D’Lo with kicks, right hands, and chops along with a corner clothesline. He tosses D’Lo to the outside where Faarooq introduces D’Lo to the steel steps face-first. Back in Bradshaw delivers a Russian legsweep. Faarooq tags in, but D’Lo takes over to give Faarooq his patented standing legdrop. Farooq gives D’Lo the DDT. After a tag Bradshaw levels D’Lo with a running shoulderblock. Another tag-in by Faarooq but D’Lo delivers a heel kick to him. Tags are exchanged on both sides. Henry takes over with a shoulderblock and two clotheslines! Double team shoulderblock by the Acolytes puts Henry down again. However, D’Lo got the blind tag. The Acolytes then double-team D’Lo with a belly-to-back suplex neckbreaker combo. Henry makes the save. In a unique twist heel miscommunication by the Acolytes leads to a rollup by D’Lo on Bradshaw for the pin!

Upset victory here, but Faarooq and Bradshaw truly carried this match.

Pat Patterson thanks Owen for being a great person. Hardcore Holly relates that in Mobile, AL Owen kindly put Holly over in a match.

Match 7: Road Dogg versus WWF Intercontinental Champion The Godfather (w/ ho’s)

Road Dogg enters the ring wearing the Owen armband and welcomes the crowd with his catchphrases and his spiel that the crowd knows well. According to Road Dogg “You know who I am. It ain’t about me. It’s about the King of Harts this evening.” Godfather brings out some of St. Louis’ “finest.” Godfather hits his catchphrases to the crowd’s approval. JR reveals an embarassing pool prank that Owen pulled on him on the WWF Wrestle Vessel. Godfather grabs the mic and offers Road Dogg to join him and the ho’s to “light it up all night long”. Crowd voices their approval. Road Dogg replies “Why don’t you and I go burn one and tell some Owen stories?” They leave the ring simultaneously after that.

Paul Bearer in his normal non-high-pitched voice wishes farewell to Owen. X-Pac calls Owen “the funniest guy I’ve ever met.” He then offers a prayer to his wife and 2 children.

Match 8: WWF Hardcore Champion Al Snow (w/ Head) versus HHH (w/ Chyna)

Considering what HHH did to the Rock last night I wouldn’t want to be Al Snow this evening. Both men and Chyna wear the armband. They hit the ropes and Snow gives HHH a spinning heel kick. He knocks HHH out of the ring then executes a baseball slide. Back in the ring Snow flips over HHH but gets a high knee for his troubles. HHH works him over and when Snow gets close to the ropes Chyna wallops him! HHH delivers a vertical suplex and drops the knee to the forehead. Snow gets whipped to the turnbuckle, applies the brakes, and clotheslines HHH. Snow then headbutts HHH while holding his arms. HHH flops face-first. Even JR has to give the nod to Flair on that one although not by name. Snow then backdrops HHH coming off the ropes. After a body slam Snow mounts the top turnbuckle but misses the moonsault. A Pedigree finishes Al’s night.

While Snow was over with the crowd HHH continues his push although less violently than last night.

Road Dogg is having a tough time expressing himself but offers his prayers to Owen’s family. Gerald Brisco empathizes with Owen as the younger brother of a superstar. He thanks Owen for being a consummate professional and all the great memories.

Match 9: Big Show versus Goldust (w/ Blue Meanie)

A svelte Big Show (w/ ponytail and armband) leaps over the top rope. Goldust pushes Blue Meanie (also with an armband) into Big Show. Meanie tries to make a dent in the giant to no avail. Big Show attempts to give Meanie the showstopper but Goldust lowblows him. Double team clothesline misses and Big Show launches himself to clothesline both Meanie and Goldust. He then hoists Goldust high in the air and gives him the showstopper! Meanie gets one of his own as well! Big Show covers both men for the pin!

Boiled squash with a side of fried squash, anyone? Physically Big Show looked really good as well as agile.

Debra states that “the world has lost a really great person.” Owen “touched my life and brightened my day.” She begins to blubber and expresses denial about Owen. She felt honored to work with him.

Shane McMahon relates a story about pulling a prank on Owen in Chicago with Bret. They tackle him after he’s already gone to sleep. Subsequently Bret’s boots are missing in the morning while Shane’s stuff ends up in the shower. He wishes Godspeed to his family.

Match 10: Val Venis versus The Rock

Val joins the list of Owen armband wearers. The Rock gets a big pop upon his entrance. The Rock sports another cast on his left arm. “Finally The Rock has come back to St. Louis!” After a brief mention of Owen the Rock hits his catchphrases with the crowd completing his sentence. “Owen, this is your night. And, damn it, you know The Rock loved you like no other.” He dedicates The People’s Elbow to Owen. Val starts working on the arm; however, Rock delivers the Rock Bottom in an instant thereafter. The People’s Elbow gets the pin!

Very short match proving that The Rock truly was a superstar.

Also wearing an armband JR gives his farewell to Owen stating he wishes he “could be as good a man as him so that I can see him again someday.” Even I choked up on that one. Lawler then mentions holding Owen’s head last night and learns to “never leave home without telling the people you love what you think of them.” JR is truly choked up.

The glass breaks and here comes Stone Cold Steve Austin! The crowd ERUPTS! Steve receives a couple of Steveweisers from ringside. A picture of Owen is on the Titantron stating “In Memory of Owen Hart 1965-1999.” Austin toasts and salutes Owen with his beer. Purposefully he leaves a cold one for Owen in the center of the ring.

Well, if people thought the WWF was heartless last night for continuing the show they got a whole lot of heart from the WWF tonight. Overall 23 WWF Superstars including managers and valets wore the Owen armband. This was truly an epic night in remembrance of Owen. Ten matches with no DQs in an era where DQs were the norm was a breath of fresh air. But it was all in Owen’s honor. Although this show is extremely sad in its tone I would recommend it to each and every wrestling fan that hasn’t seen it. Show biz isn’t always pretty, but when a man like Owen Hart touches all the people around him like this you must be thankful and remember him always. Grab your loved ones and a box of tissues and enjoy this one, folks. You won’t regret it.

Be sure to visit http://www.rockstargary.com to check out more info on me!

NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #44

2013-05-24T08:26:00.003-06:00

May 14, 2003

Your hosts are Don West and Mike Tenay

The show opens with a video package on last week’s show. This focuses on how they made Glen Gilbertti into the number one contender, including him winning the “Anarchy in the Asylum” match and assaulting an injured Jeff Jarrett.

We see a stretch limo pull up with Glen Gilbertti getting out, wearing a suit and holding a wad of cash as he tips the driver. He speaks into the camera and states that he will do some Sports Entertainment tonight then tells the camera man to follow him around. In the background, we see Erik Watts getting out of his car.

Tenay tells us that the X Division and Tag-Team Titles will be on the line.

SEX are in the ring. Sonny Siaki is holding the mic and introduces Glen Gilbertti. The crowd starts a “Disco Sucks” chant. He tells the crowd he never connected with them and makes fun of their dialect. The crowd now starts an “Asshole” chant as he tells the crowd that he beat the shit out of their hero, Jeff Jarrett. Mike Sanders asks Glen if he is wearing the $3,500 suit but apparently Nashville only gets to see the $2,500 suit. He goes on for too long before stating that SEX will take over the entire building. He then starts “Gilbertti’s List,” putting Raven at the top because he is all about himself, even though he helped him win the match last week. Gilbertti says that you can either join them or be wiped out trying to stop them and gives a ten second countdown. The ECW guys come out and tell him to shut up. New Jack calls him “Glen Bershitty” and makes fun of his cheap clothes and big nose. Gilbertti comes back with bingo hall and bounced check references as Sandman spits beer all over his suit. New Jack tells us there is a third choice, which is that they can stomp their ass, and they run into the ring. The ECW guys clear the ring as SEX retreats. The ECW guys get worse by the week.

Teany and West run down the title matches, which includes Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin and XXX vs. AJ Styles & D’Lo Brown.

Goldylocks is with Chris Sabin. He tells Goldy that this will be the biggest night of his career before he is interrupted by Jerry Lynn. He tells Sabin that he beat a bunch of stiffs and that he petitioned to the office to include himself into the title match, making it a three-way. Sabin says that it isn’t a good idea as Lynn bullies him around. Sabin came across like a huge geek and did a terrible job on the mic.

X Division Championship Match

Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Amazing Red (Champion)

They start with an over-choreographed sequence that ends in a standoff. Sabin gets double-teamed and Red goes for the cover but Lynn breaks it up and pushes Red around. Red comes back with a rana and a dropkick before Lynn catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Sabin and Lynn trade shots before Sabin hits a backbreaker. Red hits Sabin with an ugly tornado DDT as XXX comes to the ring. Lynn puts Sabin on his shoulders and Red springboards in and takes him down with a rana. That looked great. Lynn then clotheslines Red for two. He covers again as we see a replay of the rana. Sabin blocks a cradle piledriver attempt but gets hit with a German suplex. Sabin hits Lynn with a sitout powerbomb and Red breaks up the pin with a dropkick. Red nails Sabin with a cartwheel kick. Sabin gets Red in position for an inverted DDT and Lynn does the same to Sabin and all three men are down. They now work a double headscissor spot as the crowd is quieting down. Sabin eats boot on a charge and Red hits Lynn with a tornado DDT after spinning off of Sabin. Lynn rolls outside and Red attempts to dive out but Sabin kills him with a Yakuza kick. He hits Lynn with a pescado and they brawl for a bit until Red takes them out with a running flip dive. The camera shows XXX talking as Sabin catches Red as he springboards into the ring. Red floats over then runs Sabin into Lynn, who hits him with his apron leg drop. Lynn slingshots in with a splash on Sabin but Red breaks that up with swanton bomb in a bad looking spot as the ref had to delay the three count waiting for Red. The crowd even starts a “that was three” chant. Red hits Lynn with a swinging STO but Sabin breaks that up. Sabin and Lynn hit each other with their finishers then Red slingshots in and hits Lynn with the Code Red, getting two. He goes up top but Skipper pushes him off as Ki distracts the ref. Skipper hits the Play of the Day and puts Sabin on top and he gets the win (10:47) **1/2. Ki grabs the belt from Sabin then they offer him a SEX t-shirt. Sabin ponders it for a second then takes the shirt and puts it on. They give him back the belt and they walk away to the back.

Thoughts: Some nice spots but too much of this was over-choreographed, which can be the case in three-way matches. The crowd did not react to Sabin winning and did not seem to care that he joined SEX. Speaking of SEX, they did not need to add to their already bloated stable. Red’s title reign lasted a whole two weeks.

Goldylocks is with the Extreme Revolution. New Jack cuts her off and yells at Sandman over him negotiating with SEX. They have a screaming match until Saturn interrupts and tells Sandman not to come back if he goes over to the SEX locker room. Jack and Credible yell at Sandman, who responds by smashing a beer can over his own head. A waste of time and why is Sandman going to negotiate with Gilbertti after they just cleared the ring of SEX fifteen minutes ago?

Tenay tells us that TNA has granted Gilbertti’s request for a camera. We are in the SEX locker room as they celebrate with Sabin then Gilbertti calls Sanders a giant killer and tells him to beat Mike Awesome tonight. Kid Kash comes in and says he has no problem with SEX and has a peace offering, the services of Trinity. Gilbertti asks what she can do for them as Sanders wants to know if she can do a rusty trombone. They accept and Kash grabs Trinity and tells her to be on her best behavior. If you’re a fan of blowjob references, this is a segment for you.

Tables Match

Mike Sanders vs. Mike Awesome w/James Mitchell

Awesome is getting fatter by the week. He hits a few clotheslines but Sanders escapes a running Awesome Bomb. In a horrendous spot, Sanders takes Awesome over the ropes with a rana. Awesome sends Sanders into the guardrail a few times as the crowd is behind him. They are in the crowd as Awesome picks up a table and charges at Sanders, who ducks out of the way. Man, that looked terrible too. They engage in some weak brawling as Awesome connects with a chairshot as Mitchell stomps away. Sanders is on the table after a chairshot then the Harris Brothers and the New Church come out and brawl. It goes outside where SEX is waiting for them and beat the crap out of the New Church. Back to the match, where they made it back to the ring. Awesome puts a table into the ring but Sanders hits him and sets up the table in the ring. He places him on top and goes to the top rope. Awesome crotches Sanders then sets up a table outside the ring. He goes for a top rope Awesome Bomb but Gilbertti runs out and hits Awesome with a pair of pathetic chair shots as Awesome falls backwards through the table, scoring the win for Sanders (5:31) DUD.

Thoughts: This match sucked. Most of the blame goes on Awesome. He is really out of shape and just a shell of his former self.

Goldylocks is with Chris Harris. He accuses TNA of trying to split up his team and says that James Storm will not return his calls. Its amazing to see how TNA tried to destroy this team with Harris’s teases heel turn. He says that he tried to interfere to help his partner and he requested a match with David Young so he can get revenge for him causing Storm to be eliminated from the Anarchy in the Asylum match last week. Harris showed a lot of intensity but stumbled over his words at times.

We are back in the SEX locker room, where Gilbertti requests two minutes alone with Trinity. Erik Watts barges in and says he has a problem with Gilbertti for what he did with Jarrett. Watts continues his insincere deal which is not funny at all. He then tells us that Eric from WCW, “DDP’s friend” is coming to TNA and will be the new director of authority. He leaves and Gilbertti tells Trinity that Kash is an asshole and she can have a spot in SEX whenever she wants. The Harris brothers then drag Alexis and Julio into the locker room. Awful segment and nobody at all is buying that Eric Bischoff is showing up to TNA at this point.

Kid Kash vs. Ron “The Truth” Killings w/Konnan

Before the match, Kash says he is fed up with everyone. He attacks Killings as soon as he enters the ring. He stomps him in the corner as Konnan joins the announcers. He says that he has no idea who the luchadore is but that it looks like a girl. It’s very obvious that a girl wearing shoulderpads is playing the luchadore. He also suggests that Kash “keep his ho’s in check.” Kash lands on the apron after a backdrop but gets taken off with a kick that splits his lip. Kash reverses an Irish whip and hits the Smashmouth before rolling the Truth back into the ring. Top rope clothesline gets two. He works a neck vise as Konnan talks about the Harris Brothers and mentions how Gilbertti hung out with a duck while in WCW. Kash gets two off a suplex but Killings goes low and hits the axe kick, getting two himself. He roughs up Kash until they mess up a springboard hurricarana spot. Kash gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. He shoves the ref, who pushes him right back. Kash grabs a chinlock then backs him in the corner. Killings fights back and gets two off a wheelbarrow slam. Killings charges but gets caught in a drop toehold. The Harris brothers then run out and attack Konnan. They beat the crap out of him as Killings gets two off a heel kick. He hits a super fallaway slam then goes up top and takes out the Harris Brothers with a crossbody but he gets roughed up before being tossed back in the ring. The mystery luchadore runs out and goes low on Kash before hitting a DDT and Killings covers for the win (9:07) *3/4.

Thoughts: Not much of a match and Kash blew a few spots. Too much was going on here between the luchadore angle and the feud between the Harris Brothers and Konnan & Killings.

Goldylocks is with Sandman in the parking lot. He sees Siaki sitting down and demands a meeting with Glen. Siaki brings out a case of beer and has Desire sit on his lap and they make sexual references before Sandman tries to make out with her. She is horrified and this triggers a fight between Siaki and Sandman that goes into the balcony. Bert Prentice attempts to stop the fight as Sandman is beating Siaki around the arena. It ends up in the ring but the Harris Brothers and Mike Sanders run out until the Extreme Revolution run out. A giant brawl breaks out with several security guys try to break it up. Saturn gets on the announcers table and grabs the mic, challenging Gilbertti to a match tonight. Gilbertti says he will change into his gear then beat his ass. Another brawling segment between these two factions and it wasn’t very effective at all.

We are shown a video package on Jarrett speaking on various topics. He says that he has strained ligaments as a result of his title match against Raven. He talks about WCW going under and how Vince became complacent without any competition. He says you don’t have to sit through a ton of filler in order to get to the PPV. He puts over the current TNA roster and talks about the SEX vs. NWA feud and Glen Gilbertti. A time-filling segment.

Kid Kash is going crazy in the locker room, throwing shit all over the place. Tracy runs in and grabs him, stating that she wants to be treated rough and knows her place, dancing in the cage and cheering on her man. She asks him what is wrong and he says he has tendinitis in the groin as Tracy puts lotion on her hand, which turned out to be Ben Gay and rubs it on his dick. He falls down and Tracy kicks him low, saying that she is his worst nightmare. Now Kash has another woman to beat the shit out of, because one wasn’t enough.

David Young vs. Chris Harris

They take turns backing each other in the corner until Harris destroys Young in the corner. He clotheslines him to the floor then goes out and beats on him some more. Back in the ring, Harris hits a top rope crossbody block for two. They fight over a suplex and Harris wins that battle by hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two as Sonny Siaki has now made his way to the ring. He hits a Thesz Press but Siaki pulls down the ropes after an Irish whip and stomps Harris on the floor. Young goes out and beats on him for a bit until he hits a quebrada that he overshot. Back in the ring, Young gets a nearfall then grabs a chinlock. This match has been slow-paced so a chinlock spot is not what it needed. Snap suplex gets two and Young goes back to the chinlock. Harris comes back with a clothesline and a DDT but Siaki pulls the leg of the referee, disrupting his count. Full nelson slam gets two. Young flapjacks Harris then turns it into a cutter in midair and that gets two. Young stops short of running into the referee then gets speared. The ref checks on Young as Siaki runs in and hits the Siakalypse on Harris. Young is slow to make the cover and only gets two. Siaki grabs a chair and wedges it in the corner as the ref just stands there watching. James Storm runs in and superkicks Siaki over the ropes and drags him through the crowd but gets jumped by SEX and dragged into the locker room. In the ring, Harris charges and Young tosses him into the corner and that gets two. Harris dodges a moonsault and hits the catatonic for the win (11:34) **1/4. Harris then asks the announcers where his partner is and runs toward the SEX locker room where they toss out Storm, whose clothes are ripped and covered in blood.

Thoughts: An average match. Young is a solid worker but void of any personality. They put over the fact that Harris is invested in teaming with Storm.

Once again, the camera focuses on Gilbertti. He is in the SEX locker room, telling Julio and Alexis that Raven does not give a shit about them. He offers them a spot in SEX and orders that they accompany him to the ring.

Glen Gilbertti w/Julio & Alexis vs. Perry Saturn

Gilbertti slugs away but gets caught with an overhead suplex. Saturn destroys Gilbertti in the corner as Tenay talks about Raven not being under contract. Gilbertti catches Saturn with an elbow smash then uses mounted punches. He uses more of his terrible punches on Saturn before clotheslined. Tenay breaks news that Harris has taken Storm to the hospital as Saturn and Gilbertti completely botch a spot in which Gilbertti was hanging on the ropes and Saturn takes him down with a springboard. Bothe men ended up falling to the floor and I have no idea what they were going for. Saturn rams Alexis into the guardrail but gets jumped by Julio. Gilbertti sells the knee but was playing possum and clotheslines Saturn. In the ring, Gilbertti works the knee of Saturn. Saturn dodges a splash and comes back with two German suplexes. Falcon Arrow gets two. Gilbertti gets shoved into the ref and the Gathering come in and attempt to hurt Saturn. After Saturn slams Alexis to the mat, Gilbertti hits a stunner that gets two. Saturn comes back with a backslide but walks into another stunner and Gilbertti scores the pin (6:29) ¾*.

Thoughts: A nothing match and this further exposed that Gilbertti does not have the offense that works in the main event spot. His brawling his horrendous. These guys really didn’t work well together either.

Goldylocks is with D’Lo Brown and AJ Styles. They declare that TNA is there home as AJ says that he didn’t turn down a WWE deal for nothing. He calls SEX a “bunch of nobodies” and says that XXX is at the top of their list.

Tenay and West talk about the whereabouts of Sabu and Raven then plug a PPV where you can catch up on the entire history of TNA on PPV for $4.95. West says that Jarrett will be there next week, which was the only thing announced for next week.

Tag-Team Championship Match

XXX (Champions) vs. AJ Styles & D’Lo Brown

Daniels and Skipper are representing XXX tonight. They jump the faces to start but get taken out easily. D’Lo holds AJ up for a sideslam and AJ hits a springboard leg drop for two. D’Lo catches a charging Daniels with a heel kick and tags AJ. They double team Daniels for a bit then AJ hits a clothesline. AJ gets whipped near Skipper but takes him down with a baseball slide then Daniels uses a basement dropkick on him. Everything has been fast-paced and crisp so far. AJ gets sent to the floor and XXX double-team him behind the ref’s back. Daniels gets two off an STO then places AJ on the ropes as Skipper takes him off with the ropewalk rana. Slingshot twisting press gets two. They distract the ref to beat on AJ as Daniels puts him in an abdominal stretch. AJ escapes then murders him with a sitout powerbomb. He tags D’Lo and he cleans house. Sudden Impact on Daniels gets two as Skipper breaks up the pin attempt. D’Lo hits him with a stunner out of a vertical suplex but Daniels breaks up that attempt. Double chop on Daniels and they try another move but Ki drags AJ outside and Daniels hits D’Lo with a flatliner and then puts him in the Koji Clutch. Ki beats on AJ outside the ring. D’Lo fights out of the Angel’s Wings and AJ hits him with a springboard dropkick. AJ kicks him to the floor then D’Lo backdrops AJ onto Daniels and Ki on the floor. Skipper gets tossed outside as D’Lo flies out with a plancha as the crowd starts a “TNA” chant. They counter each other’s move then AJ hits an invereted DDT. Gilberrtti runs in as AJ goes for the Styles Clash and Gilbertti botches a stunner on AJ before Daniels school boys him and grabs the tights for the pin (8:54) ***1/4.

Thoughts: This was great and all action. It easily could have been a **** match if given more time. AJ and D’Lo really worked great as a team.

After the match, SEX goess backstage and beats up everyone in sight, including resident dipshit Bill Behrens and David Webber, who was Mortimer Plumtree and called both names by Tenay. In the ring, XXX destroys AJ and D’Lo. The New Church run towards SEX backstage but get taken out as well. Gilbertti smiles and smokes a cigar, happy about all the chaos that SEX has caused.

Final Thoughts: This whole show was about Glen Gilbertti. They tried hard to present him as a credible main-eventer and a threat to the Heavyweight Title but it didn’t work. Gilbertti’s ring work is that of a mid-carder and the crowd still sees him as Disco Inferno. I’ll give him credit for doing okay with his new character but having him in the main event is not acceptable.

Any questions or feedback, email me at BBayless781@gmail.com

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–05.23.13

2013-05-24T01:03:00.001-06:00

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 05.23.13

Live(-ish, sorta) from Tampa, FL

You hosts are Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay & Taz

Nice to see TNA offering good wishes to those hit by the tornado, whereas WWE offers nothing. Unless it’s a charity that they’re sponsoring that month, of course

Hulk Hogan starts us out, and he wants us to know that he’s disgusted with AJ’s apparent decision to join the Aces, and he brings out Sting to let him know that Bully isn’t the boss of him and Sting doesn’t have to honor the stips if he doesn’t want to. That’s actually an interesting tact, as usually self-made stipulations are regarded as magically binding. You don’t often get the authority figure saying “Hey, feel free to change your mind if you want.” All this brings out Brooke, who is still full of angst and regret. Bully is out bringing the awesome (“Take your hands off my wife!”) and he’s never taking that wedding ring off. Ever. He still loves her, you see.

Petey Williams v. Joey Ryan v. SUICIDE

Even the mysterious masked man has a Twitter account. Ryan gets tossed and Suicide takes Petey down with a headscissors, but Petey puts him on the floor. Joey stops to oil his chest, but Suicide comes back in with a top rope rana. We get a cool spot with Suicide holding Ryan in an indian deathlock while putting Petey in an abdominal stretch. Ryan & Petey fight to the floor and Suicide hits them with a dive, a suicide dive if you will, but Petey pops back in with a codebreaker on Ryan. Suicide cradles Ryan for two, but Petey tries the Destroyer on him, which Ryan breaks up. Suicide comes back with a neckbreaker on Ryan and finishes with a wheelbarrow into double knees at 4:00. Obviously Joey was just there to do the job, but he hung in there pretty good outside of his comedy spots. Short, but all action. **1/2

Meanwhile, Chris Sabin wants to be James Storm’s mystery partner, but Storm doesn’t want to rob him of the chance to be X champion and then cash in for the World title (is that still a thing?!) and so politely declines.

Meanwhile, Bully still loves Brooke. WHY CAN’T THESE CRAZY KIDS JUST WORK THINGS OUT ALREADY?

Meanwhile, Mickie tries to talk Velvet into sitting out the match tonight, with the unspoken implication being that she’s going to turn heel and wreck her knee. Although the phrasing made it sound like Mickie wanted to take her virginity or try some weird sex position or something.

Sam Shaw v. Alex Silva

Doesn’t happen, as the Aces & Eights reveal that they put Silva out beforehand, and a beatdown follows. Magnus makes the save because Shaw is his friend and it’s PERSONAL now, and it’s on.

Magnus v. Wes Brisco

Magnus kicks the shit out of him and gutwrenches him, and Brisco wisely bails as we take a break. Back with Brisco chinlocking Magnus and pounding on him. Magnus comes back and gets a delayed suplex before going up, but the other Aces run in for the DQ at 7:43. Nothing match. *1/2 Another beatdown follows, but now it’s Samoa Joe making the save, which I’m assuming sets up Joe/Magnus v. Brischoff at the PPV. So that’s all fine.

Kurt Angle v. Mr. Anderson

We’re JIP after a break, and Angle is stomping Anderson down in the corner. Angle suplex gets two. Blind charge misses and Anderson takes over and works on the arm. A hammerlock slam gets two and Anderson stays on the armbar, but Angle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Anderson with the Lambeau Leap for two. Angle with the rolling germans, but Anderson hits the mic check for two. Anderson goes up and Angle brings him down with the pop up superplex and the STRAPS ARE DOWN. This brings AJ Styles out of the dumpster he was living in this week, and Anderson goes low for the pin at 8:03 aired. Still no decision from AJ, of course. **1/2

Meanwhile, Gail Kim bitches about Mickie getting the title shot, and gets ambushed by Taryn and her tiny pants as a result.

James Storm is out to announce his tag partner, but Roode & Aries interrupt first. Then Bad Influence interrupts that interruption and everyone is calling each other dummies. So this brings out Storm’s partner…Shark Boy?! However, this proves to be premature, as Robbie E comes out to announce his partnership instead. After spitballing some names for their team, an unrecognizable Gunner returns from exile with a giant beard and cleans house, and that’s Storm’s choice. OK then. The Shark Boy Austin stuff was kind of funny, but Gunner as Storm’s partner is a huge letdown.

Meanwhile, Sting explains to Joseph Park what “strap” means and why it’s a good thing, and tries to broker a deal with Abyss via Park. Joseph plays dumb, and Sting mumbles about getting kayfabbed. So next week it’s Sting and one of the members of the Park family against the Aces.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky v. Mickie James

They trade wristlocks as Tenay points out that Sky has been champion for four months. THAT is how decompressed this TV show has become. It’s like Brian Michael Bendis is on the booking team now. They slug it out and Mickie takes her down with a terrible looking full nelson slam as we take a break. Back with Velvet armdragging out of a wristlock and making the comeback while occasionally remembering to sell the horribly injured knee. They do a ridiculous looking reversal sequence where it looks like Velvet forgot what she was supposed to be doing, and Mickie pounds on her in the corner. Possibly in frustration over what a shitty worker Velvet is. Velvet gets the spinning headscissors, but now she once again randomly remembers that her knee is hurt, and Mickie takes out the knee. A shity looking DDT gives Mickie the title again at 9:11. This was AWFUL, as they blew everything left and right. -* Insert Velvet Sky joke here. Actually, I’d probably bump this up to DUD because of all the gratuitous ODB cleavage shots. Still no heel turn for Mickie.

Meanwhile, the big mean bikers keep abusing poor D-Lo.

Main Event Patching Ceremony: Bully Ray and the troops are out to induct AJ Styles. AJ asks for Mr. Anderson to do the honors by putting the jacket on him, but Kurt Angle interrupts. Kurt is disgusted, but AJ puts the jacket on anyway. And he even bashes Angle’s knee in with a hammer to seal the deal…and then turns on the Aces before leaving alone. Well that would have been more heroic had he not smashed a hammer into Angle’s knee first.

The Pulse

The show started fun and then kind of died once we got to James Storm picking his tag partner, and the less said about Mickie v. Velvet the better. And it feels like they’re trying to rip off the Sting v. nWo storyline from 1997 without really understanding why Sting was so mad at everyone in the first place. Sting was upset because everyone distrusted him without reason, and he was actually innocent. Styles is clearly being kind of a whiny dickwad here, and HE HIT A DUDE IN THE KNEE WITH A HAMMER, and I don’t really get if I’m supposed to be cheering him or what.

Waiting for the Trade - Spiderman

2013-05-23T20:58:00.003-06:00

Waiting for the Trade

by Bill Miller

Spider-man: Return of the Goblin

by Paul Jenkins & Humberto Ramos
collects Peter Parker: Spider-man (vol. 2) 44-47.

Why I Bought This: Over a year ago I bought the trade for a Spidey vs. Venom story called “The Hunger” by Paul Jenkins and it was astonishingly good: like by far the best Venom story to be told outside of the character’s first few appearances. Paul Jenkins in general seems fairly well-regarded for his work on Spidey and after the reading that Venom story I wanted to sample some more of his run. It seemed like stories tackling Spidey’s other major foes would be the best pick-ups in that regard so I grabbed both this Green Goblin story and a Doc Ock trade off Amazon.

The Plot: Norman once again makes a run at Peter through his friends and family. The story features a lot of psychological back and forth so there’s no way to recap without heavy spoilers.

Chapter 1 – Norman visits Harry’s grave and vows vengeance on Peter for refusing an offer to join together in a prior story. Peter meanwhile is being tormented by a recurring dream that we don’t get to see and tries to talk about it with Aunt May. Norman dons the Goblin suit. Peter calls MJ but can’t find the words to speak to her (apparently they are separated at this time), so he goes web swinging in the rain to clear his head. And then he comes face to face with the Green Goblin. The Goblin beats on Spidey pretty good. When Spidey turns the tables he asks Norman the point of it all, saying “you can’t make me do anything I don’t want;” to which Norman bets him $5 and a pizza that he can before stabbing him in the shoulder and inviting him to a “family funeral.”

Chapter 2 – Pete flashbacks to Gwen’s death, then turns on the TV to see Norman has released video footage of her death that implicates Spider-man as responsible (via the infamous “snap” after Spidey weblines her in trying to save her after the Goblin tossed her off the bridge) causing Pete to break his TV. Next Norman approaches Flash with a job offer. We cut to Norman at a business meeting when Pete barges in and makes a scene to prove he can bring the fight to Norman’s civilian life just as easily. Of course Norman then responds by threatening MJ and Aunt May so maybe not quite as easily. Spidey then goes to Jameson to confront him for running the Goblin’s allegations on the front page but that gets him nowhere. Meanwhile Norman has his goons force alcohol down Flash’s throat then sticks Flash behind the wheel of an Osborn Truck (as truck driver is the job Norman allegedly gave Flash) and causes the truck to ram into Peter’s class at Midtown High (this is during the science teacher era). Pete puts two and two together and races to the hospital where from outside the window he overhears that Flash has “irreversible brain damage.”

Chapter 3 – Pete is feeling guilty about Flash. When he goes into the work the next morning he again finds Norman waiting for him; this time playing the rich philanthropist by paying for all the damage that ‘unfortunate drunk new employee’ caused to the school. The two exchange veiled threats in a pretty fantastic scene as the principal gives Norman a tour of the school, ending with Norman telling Pete which warehouse to meet him at to finish this. Spidey stops by the hospital to visit Flash first and then we get a viscous battle between the two. Spidey tries to pull back when he feels it has gone too far, at which point Norman threatens to kill his own grandson (and Pete’s godson) toddler Normie Osborn for being weak like Harry and unworthy of inheriting the company. This causes Peter to vow to kill Norman.

Chapter 4 – Spidey and The Goblin are still going at it and Norman ups the stakes again by saying when he finishes with Pete tonight he’s going to order hits on every person in Pete’s life that he cares about. Spidey’s rage makes him reckless allowing Goblin to get the upper hand. Goblin tries to drown Pete in toxic waste, but at the last moment Pete mounts the babyface comeback and then just pummels Norman, breaking his ribs and putting him on the defensive. Pete is about to strike the killing blow--and Norman even asks him to do it--but Pete can’t commit murder and in fact realizes that Norman’s goal along has been to use Pete to commit suicide. In a state of exhaustion the two collapse and talk to each other, sharing a laugh before Pete reveals his recurring dream to Norman: that he sees Mary Jane dying in a plane crash but when he gets to the body it ends up being Gwen. Pete then says he already lived through the worst thing Norman can do once before with Gwen and if he didn’t kill him Norman then, he’s never going to. Pete then explains to Norman how their lives are different and walks out on him. The next day Pete visits Flash in the hospital, while Norman returns to his office all alone and looks over a gun in his desk drawer.

Critical Thoughts: The human chess between Pete and Norman is great in chapters 2 and 3 and Norman comes across as really diabolical and underhanded throughout the whole story making this a gripping read at times.

I’m not sure I fully buy into Norman being suicidal--probably because we don’t expect arch-villains to be that vulnerable or really anything but threatening and megalomaniacal in most super hero stories--but it’s not so far-fetched as to say it couldn’t happen: after all Norman was at least a sociopath before he even became the Goblin and over the years his mental problems have been exacerbated by chemical means, head trauma and even mystic inducement so who is to say that his insanity would never manifest into depression, particularly after the death of his son. If we go with the premise that Norman is suicidal I certainly believe that he would want to die by Pete’s hand both for his own ego and as a final revenge on Pete since he knows Pete well enough to how guilty Peter would feel if he ever took a life. Certainly Jenkins puts a lot of work into the story to make the premise plausible, with the ending showing how alone Norman is. I think Jenkins writes villains exceptionally well so when he has one of the major ones like Venom or Norman he writes stories that excel both psychologically as well as on the visceral action level. It also helps that Jenkins has a good grasp of Peter and his supporting cast, and how being in the presence of these psychopaths day in and day out affects Peter.

As a general criticism, I will say I don’t like Ramos’ art. I never have and still don’t even with his current ASM Spidey stuff. Most of the time he’s okay drawing the costumed stuff but his civilian facials are terrible. This however was a step-up from his usual. There’s a few panels where Aunt May looks weird but overall he does an adequate job on this story.

Grade: B-. An unusual direction for Norman but overall it’s a compelling read from beginning to end, which you can find for a ludicrously cheap price on Amazon.

NXT - May 22, 2013

2013-05-23T20:13:00.002-06:00

NXT

Date: May 22, 2013

Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida

Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We're a week away from the big NXT battle royal but tonight's main event is Corey Graves vs. Bray Wyatt, as the Wyatt Family is apparently targeting people like Graves and Kassius Ohno for reasons yet to be named. This seems to be another filler episode before we get to next week where things start all over again, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Let's get to it.

Welcome Home.

Curt Hawkins vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is independent mainstay El Generico minus a mask. The fans immediately start chanting OLE which is Generico's trademark chant. Hawkins has short hair now, in case you're not up to date on your Curt Hawkins news. Zayn takes him down with a set of armdrags and some chops in the corner for good measure. Hawkins elbows out of the corner and hits a quick enziguri for two.

Off to an early chinlock by Hawkins but an OLE chant gets Sami back up to his feet. Hawkins misses a forearm in the corner and gets caught in a belly to back suplex for no cover. A dropkick gets two but Hawkins comes back with a very excited slam. For the first time ever, we get a Let's Go Hawkins chant but he can't hook what looked to be a powerbomb. Instead Zayn grabs his wrist and runs up the corner into a tornado DDT for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C. This was pretty much a squash but Zayn looked good out there. He has a solid presence to him and even though he's a smaller guy, his offense comes off like it has some force behind it. Hawkins is as generic of a wrestler as you'll ever find, but then again he has something resembling a resume and isn't terrible in the ring so he makes for a good jobber. Good debut here for Zayn.

Video on Corey Graves, explaining why he has so many tattoos. There's a CM Punk vibe to this and he closes with a good line: “I'm not here to leave a mark. I'm here to leave a scar.”

Antonio Cesaro vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Ok, Cesaro HAS to be able to beat Tatsu right? I mean, it's Yoshi Tatsu. EVERYBODY beats Tatsu. Cesaro pounds him into the corner but gets caught by a quick cross body for no cover. Yoshi fires off some kicks but gets caught by a vicious European uppercut and the Neutralizer ends this in 52 seconds.

Post match Cesaro wants to know if that was the best competition he can get. There's no one on any show that can challenge him, but here's Sami Zayn to disagree. He speaks multiple languages, including Arabic which Cesaro doesn't understand. Zayn goes to French instead and the match is on right now.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn

Cesaro quickly powers him down to start but gets spun around as Zayn leverages his way out of a test of strength. A springboard wrist drag sends Cesaro to the floor as take a break. Back with Zayn holding an armbar but being dropped throat first on the top rope. Zayn is whipped hard into the corner for two before it's off to a chinlock. Sami fights up and tries a sunset flip but Cesaro does the DX crotch chop of all things before stomping onto his chest for two.

Off to another chinlock before Zayn comes back with a rollup out of the corner. A high cross body is caught by Cesaro in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and a running European uppercut gets the same. Off to some rights and lefts in the corner by Antonio before he loads up a suplex, only to have Zayn slide down his back and roll up Cesaro for the pin at 5:00 shown of 7:20.

Rating: C. Nothing of note here but it was good to see Zayn get such a solid push to start. He was in trouble for most of the match but it makes sense that a guy as strong as Cesaro could throw Sami around like he did. This is a really good debut for Zayn and I really liked what I've seen so far.

Emma is in the back but she's apparently taking Audrey Marie's interview time. Emma keeps screwing up Audrey's name and suggests Audrey dance to relieve stress. Audrey says get out before I take you out. Emma: “Can we go to lunch? I haven't eaten today.” She dances off and smacks Audrey in the head as she goes.

Video on Bray Wyatt which looks more like the old ones.

Here's some guy named Enzo Amore to talk. Enzo is from New Jersey and has almost every stereotype you can think of. He sees a bunch of fake tough guys in NXT and talks about people being a bunch of G's.

Enzo Amore vs. Mason Ryan

Ryan throws Amore around like he's not even there before chopping him down. Running snake eyes sets up a running clothesline by Ryan before a torture rack neckbreaker ends Amore at 1:26. Ryan is still nothing of note.

The Raw ReBound talks about Ryback demanding an ambulance match.

Stephanie McMahon will be here next week for an announcement.

There's also a #1 contenders battle royal next week.

Corey Graves vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray shoves him around to start and still has that gray mask on his face. Graves takes him into the corner and pounds away a bit before putting on a front facelock. The Wyatt Family looks concerned as Bray is in some trouble early on. Graves gets the mask off of Wyatt so Bray heads to the outside. Not that it matters as Wyatt puts the mask back on and pounds away on Graves back in the ring.

Graves gets up a knee to stop a charging Bray before putting on a figure four neck lock over the top rope to slow Wyatt down again. Bray is fine with that though as he hits a running cross body as we take a break. Back with Wyatt holding a chinlock, only to get up and miss a charge, sending him out to the floor. Graves misses a baseball slide though and Bray sends him into the steps. Bray kicks him in the chest a few times before taking it back inside for another chinlock.

There's the splash in the corner but Graves escapes the dancing into a rollup for a close two. The mask comes off again so Bray hits another cross body to put Graves down. Back up and Corey punches the exposed face and makes a good comeback, sending Bray reeling. A clothesline in the corner staggers Bray and a chop block puts him down. The Family is knocked down and there's the Lucky 13 leg lock, but Harper breaks it up via a distraction by Rowan. Sister Abigail ends Graves at 8:41 shown of 12:11.

Rating: C. I was digging Graves here as his comeback was working well, but the Family getting the win was probably the right idea. There's only so much you can do for Graves here without making the Family look weak, so the cheating was probably the right call. Graves looked good though.

Post match Kassius Ohno returns to try to make the save but gets laid out by the Family. Bray talks about being a monster to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling here wasn't great but they did a good job with the storytelling here. Next week we'll have a new #1 contender to Langston's title so we can have a new main event feud to build around. I was really impressed by Zayn tonight and he seems to have a feud set up with Cesaro already. Good show here but for different reasons than usual.

Results

Sami Zayn b. Curt Hawkins – Tornado DDT

Antonio Cesaro b. Yoshi Tatsu – Neutralizer

Sami Zayn b. Antonio Cesaro – Rollup

Mason Ryan b. Enzo Amore – Torture Rack Neckbreaker

Bray Wyatt b. Corey Graves – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com

TNA Impact Live Thread

2013-05-23T17:42:00.000-06:00

Tonight's matches include:

Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson
Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky for the Knockouts Title
Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva, with the winner facing Jay Bradley for a spot in the Bound for Glory Series

Also, Aces & Eights will "patch in" AJ Styles tonight and James Storm will announce his tag-team partner. Suicide returns to action as well.

nWo in WWE

2013-05-23T13:54:00.001-06:00

> Scott,
>
> The nWo angle in WWE fell flat, but do you think it could have been better? Nash's injury and Hall's implosion (on that plane trip?) didn't help things, but how do you think the nWo thing could have played out better in 2002?

I would vote for "not associating them with Vince McMahon right away." With GM Bischoff, sure.

Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy from 1995

2013-05-23T13:51:00.000-06:00

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AugwggFWTQ
>
> Not surprisingly, they had no chemistry back then either. And why did Matt stop doing a 450 splash?

That sounds like the setup line for a bad joke.

Rock Star Gary repost: WWF Over The Edge 1999

2013-05-23T11:27:00.001-06:00

On the 14th anniversary of Owen Hart's death I present to you my first rant. The opinions have not been altered but I made some modifications to punctuation. I hope you enjoy it! RIP Owen Hart 1965-1999.

WWF Over the Edge 1999

Live from Kansas City, MO (attendance: 18, 244)

Airdate: May 23, 1999

Hosted by Jim Ross (JR) and Jerry “the King” Lawler

We begin the show with a soliloquy from Undertaker professing his ministry of darkness and his mission to take Stone Cold Steve Austin’s most prized possession – the WWF title!

Earlier tonight on Sunday Night Heat Mideon of the Corporate Ministry cracked a steel chair upon Vince McMahon’s ankle on the steel steps!

Match 1 for the WWF tag team titles: X-Pac & Kane (champions) versus D’Lo Brown & Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry (w/ Ivory)

JR right off the bat accentuates the youth in the ring by stating the combatants are in their 20s (Hint, hint WCW). The crowd lets D’Lo know that he sucks. Prior to locking up with D’Lo X-Pac crotch-chops Ivory. D’Lo uses his size to his advantage while X-Pac uses his speed and agility. 5 minutes in and X-Pac unsuccessfully attempts to break out the Bronco Buster on D’Lo. Henry and Kane tag in. After an avalanche Henry press-drops Kane—a move similar to what the Ultimate Warrior used to do to jobbers. Kane proceeds to no-sell and deliver some clotheslines. Kane follows up with an Irish Whip into a dropkick! The dynamic changes when D’Lo is tagged in as he uses agility in his exchange with Kane. After a brief flurry by X-Pac D’Lo feigns a knee injury so that Henry can crotch X-Pac on the ring post. X-Pac gets pressed and hot shot on the barricade by Henry. Back in and D’Lo executes a running powerbomb to X-Pac. Kane, however, breaks up the pin attempt. After both teams exchange tags again Kane slams the 400 pounder and then hits a tilt-a-whirl slam on D’Lo. X-Pac then tries a plancha onto Henry but gets caught and rammed into the ring post back-first. Reverse suplex by Kane. Double-teaming on Kane leads to a near pinfall but with an authoritative kick-out by Kane. That sends D’Lo to the floor! Kane mounts the turnbuckle and dives onto both D’Lo and Henry! Top rope clothesline by Kane. D’Lo makes the save. X-Pac comes in and gives the Bronco Buster to D’Lo. Kane then chokeslams Henry for the 3-count!

Winners and still WWF Tag Team Champions…Kane and X-Pac! Hot match! The crowd was into it. Big man-small man dynamic was used very well while Kane’s talents were showcased.

Michael Cole speculates that due to Vince’s injury he may not be able to serve as the second special guest referee for the title match tonight.

Hardcore Holly is interviewed and cuts a promo about Al Snow. He wants to “peel Al’s head wide open.” Ick.

Match 2 for the WWF Hardcore Championship: Al Snow (champion) (w/ Head) versus Hardcore Holly

Snow also brings a moose head (not the beer) to the ring. After a brief exchange Holly and Snow head outside the ring where Snow meets the railing face-first. Then Holly meets the steel steps on a reversal of an Irish whip. Having grabbed a cookie sheet Holly smacks Snow from the outside coming in and then again for a near fall. In order to cool down Snow’s need for Head Holly grabs the fire extinguisher but can’t get it to work. He finally pulls the pin out of it but Snow hits him with the cookie sheet inadvertently setting off the extinguisher. Snow then grabs the extinguisher and gives Holly a mouthful. Yuck! They take the bout into the crowd all the way to the concession stand. A series of concessions are exchanged almost leading them into the women’s restroom. Funnel cake for everyone! Especially for Holly who is wearing powdered sugar on his face. After a near fall on the concrete they head back to the ring. From the railing Snow executes a leg drop that barely makes contact with Holly’s head. He then throws Holly in the ring, puts him in the corner, and performs an excruciating stomp to the groin! The crowd cringes for that one. Snow grabs a chair from ringside, then goes to the other side of the ring, and pulls out a table! Back in the ring upon setting up the table Snow is on the receiving end of a patented Holly dropkick. The “Hollycaust” (Falcon arrow) gets a 2 count. After jawing with the referee Holly gets caught in the Snow Plow for another near fall. Ballshot #2 to Holly. It’s no wonder why he has such a negative attitude. Snow grabs the Head and gets DDT’d on a chair. Holly sets up the table in the ring only to fall prey to a powerbomb through it! Snow falls forward and gets the pin to retain.

Standard hardcore fare here. Move along.

Michael Cole interviews Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco. An ambulance has been called supposedly to take Vince to the hospital for his ankle. Patterson swears it’s broken.

And now the moment no one neither expected nor wanted. The promo for the Intercontinental title match is shown. JR states that “we know it’s Owen Hart” referring to the Blue Blazer. Then clips of the Blue Blazer running wild are shown. The Blue Blazer’s words of wisdom to the kids: “Take your vitamins. Say your prayers. And drink your milk!” JR tries to throw it to an earlier interview with Kevin Kelly and the Blue Blazer and states: “We got big problems out here.”

During the interview the Blue Blazer speaks as a superhero calling the Godfather his arch-nemesis. He professes that good will triumph over evil due to his daily intake of vitamins, prayers, and milk.

JR then begins to apologize. He states that the Blue Blazer was supposed to make a “spectacular” entrance and something has gone wrong. He states that the EMTs are now tending to him.

According to JR, “This is not a part of the entertainment here tonight. This is as real as real can be here.” The camera only shows JR and shots of the crowd. “This is not your typical wrestling storyline.” The Blue Blazer was supposed to descend from the ceiling. JR speculates that possibly the harness broke. He then segues into the Nicole Bass/Val Venis versus Jeff Jarrett/Debra mixed tag match.

During the promo the match is described as a love rectangle. Nicole has her eyes on Val while Val has his eyes on Debra. Jarrett defends the honor of Debra by destroying Nicole Bass with his guitar prompting Val to fight Jarrett. Nicole vows to make “chow’ out of Debra’s puppies.

JR brings us out of the promo to note that this is “not part of the show. This is not a wrestling angle.” Again JR notes that the WWF will not sensationalize this by putting it on camera. According to JR Owen Hart has been “terribly injured.” Lawler rejoins JR at the desk and states “No. It doesn’t look good at all.”

Kevin Kelly interviews Jeff Jarrett and Debra. Jeff is noticeably upset. Jarrett wishes Owen well with a very serious tone in his voice. After Jarrett does a promo on Val and Nicole he says: “Owen, you’re in our prayers.” Debra then states “Owen, we love you.”

the-5-greatest-unscripted-disasters-in-pro-wrestling

2013-05-23T08:30:00.001-06:00

Don't know if anybody has sent you this yet. Pretty hard to argue with the list... of course some people still think Hogan/Russo was a work... and I think I'd change the order around a little, but all in all I think they hit the big ones.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-greatest-unscripted-disasters-in-pro-wrestling/

Once it got to the court system, it was pretty apparently Hogan/Russo not a work. Unless Joseph Park was the lawyer.

Really good list, all the ones I would have hit on as well. Really, the Andre-Maeda story is even crazier than described, but that's some pretty hardcore wrestling nerd stuff to really get everything going on, so what was presented was great. John Cheese is easily my favorite guy on Cracked, even if he goes to the "Rich people are like this and poor people are like THIS" well way too often sometimes.

Savage vs Steamboat II?

2013-05-23T08:24:00.001-06:00

Dan from New York checks in with a question about The Madness & The Dragon...

"I am 31 and started watching wrestling in 1986-87. The greatest period of booking and wrestling I remember is the build to the Mega Powers angle from Post Wrestlemania III - Wrestlemania V. Here's one question from that era:

On SNME after WM III, Steamboat has his first IC Title defense against Hercules and Savage is on commentary spazzing out at the chance someone other than him will get "HIS" title back from Steamboat. He actually does a run in and then saves Steamboat from a post match beatdown. They were obviously building toward a rematch from WM III with Savage obsessed over the IC Title. Now I've long heard rumors that Steamboat only lost his hard earned title because he asked for time off to be with his kids and HTM was in the right place at the right time to get the shot. This allowed them to turn Savage face with the same agenda, try to get HIS IC Title back.

Here's the question: What is Steamboat doesn't take time off? What if he decides to run with the title rather than go be with his family? Does Savage stay heel and feud with him all year? Steamboat's title loss and departure in 1987 paved the way for two years of angle making with the rise of face Savage, the rise of HTM as IC Champ, which ends up creating the Mega Powers. So what is Steamboat stayed around? Thanks in advance."

Yeah, that was basically it. Steamboat truly was the anti-Flair in terms of gimmick & personal life. He wanted time off, the brass was pissed because they wanted to build him as a long-term IC champion. Which I assume they didn't change the plans at all when Honky was inserted. Anyway, so Steamboat went away, came back, and management was still pissed, thus no real push to speak of.

If Steamboat never left, I see him as one of the pillars of the WWE, and a future World Champion. The guy was loved by everyone, had a great look, could back it up in the ring, and didn't mind doing hokey shit like training for a match by fighting ninjas. The same ninjas I assume attacked Mike "Major Guns" Quinn during his posing routine at the 1992 WBF Championship.

But then again, aside from a rematch with Savage, things may have stayed the same. Hogan would have definitely seen Steamboat as a threat, and perhaps done what he could to hold him back. Steamboat is such a nice guy he probably would have paid it no mind, and continued having fantastic matches in the mid-card.

How say you guys?

Any others that just want to see their question in the bright lights of the BoD, and don't mind if Scott may not answer, send'em on in to CaliberW@hotmail.com

Apparently I Fear The Fuj…

2013-05-22T22:04:00.001-06:00

OK, who’s the wise guy? Our favorite peacekeeper is still in Afghanistan so I’m assuming it’s not him.

Wednesday Night Wrestling stream.

2013-05-22T21:55:00.002-06:00

Hey, if you're up late and want to watch I'm streaming some fire pro wrestling returns again over on twitch tv. http://www.twitch.tv/thepiledrivingcritique/

Feedback Feedbag–02.01.2002

2013-05-22T21:24:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the post-Smackdown edition of Scott's Feedback Feedbag! The book is almost done, as I'm just finishing off 2001 and getting some trusted people to look it over and make suggestions.

Before we begin, Cactusbix wanted me to point out how weird it was that people would actually buy me stuff just because I tell them to. What can I say? I am the opiate of the masses. (Mr. Bixenspan is no longer on speaking terms with me.)

Speaking of people on opium, our first letter is a threat from Erin and/or Ken Fasolo:

"listen you , i want you to leave this website! NOW! i will start a campaign to get you removed, your column sucks and no one reads it.

You have 2 weeks!"

Oh no, not a CAMPAIGN! Oh my god, maybe they'll even do one of those online petitions that the WWF worries about, like the "Save the Meanie" one or the "Give Billy Gunn Even More Steroids To Even Out His Pecs" one. Okay, I made the second one up.

James Greene has another question for me:

"Another question for you. What do you think of fantasy wrestling? Do you prefer role-playing feds or sim-based? Do you think it's a worthwhile way for people to constructively use their creativity, or is it just a total waste of time?"

As with most things in life, it depends on whether or not it directly involves ME in some way. For the most part I think it's all a total waste of time (a feeling I have about most RPG-related things), but in the case of the WCWF (which was quite awesome and hilarious and well worth my time or anyone else's and not coincidentally the product of my writing) I can make an exception.

Ryan Latimer, who apparently reviews video games on 411 (who knew?) wants a forum to vent, and even though this strictly speaking is about massaging MY ego, I can make an exception because he made sure to suck up at the beginning. Ryan sez:

"I've been watching the WWF for a long time, but I've never witnessed the company take such a slide before (save the 1993-1996 period, where I was young and stupid) and one day I decided to finally get my thoughts out on paper. The result was What Happened? The Year Everything Went Wrong. 2001, a column done for and by myself. In it, I finally realized a main problem that the WWF is suffering from that no one has seemed to catch.

The trouble is, I'm merely a video game reviewer on 411wrestling.com, and therefore have a very small audience. You, on the other hand, reach lot of people, and I was hoping I could pass my idea on to you to get it out in the open:

We all know that through the years, the WWF goes through phases and generations, and therefore, different "looks." Take a look at any "Best Of" video if you need visual aid. But for the past couple years, the WWF hasn't changed a thing about its broadcast appearance, and I dare say this is a huge problem that needs to be fixed. I watch RAW nowadays bored out of my mind before anything happens, and I wonder why. I finally got it. RAW (and even Smackdown, for that matter) just "look" outdated. I don't know if its the production, the colors, the mood, I don't know. There is something I cannot put my finger on or put into words, but all I know is that something about WWF programming recently just looks flat out OLD. I'm convinced that shoddy storylines and horrid booking make up a good deal of the boredom, but I dare say this may have something to do with it. Case in point: Would the nWo have been so successful if Nitro didn't look so dark and grim? I doubt it. The "atmosphere" of a wrestling show is important, but its not discussed much.

I hope this makes sense. I'm just crossing my fingers that the WWF does something to make RAW new and fresh again."

I agree that RAW desperately needs a makeover -- the look is VERY 1998 and they haven't had so much as a major set change in two years. (Going on 12 years now, unless you count EVEN MORE EXTREME screens!) Unfortunately it appears that all their talented art directors died in a tragic bout of spontaneous combustion or something, because the FIST OF DOOM on Smackdown is really fucking stupid no matter how you slice it. It reminds me of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre more than anything. (Oh god, the giant fist set. At least it was distinctive, I guess.)

Adam Gallegos writes with an idea for another book:

"You have written rants on almost every PPV and wrestling super card ever created. Have you given any thought to putting together a book including all of these rants, a guide to every wrestling PPV? Better yet, let me put this another way, because I'm sure that you have not only contemplated this, but have had others suggest it as well: a book covering all wrestling supercards from The Wrestling Classic to whatever date you want to use as a cut off (right now, I would say December 2001 and Vengeance) would surely sell as well as Buzz has, if not much better. Not only would it appeal to tape collectors and long-time followers of the game, but newer fans hoping to learn more about wrestling's past could benefit as well. Granted, some of your older rants would have to be rewritten entirely (one that always comes to mind is your review of Uncensored 1995, which didn't even have star ratings); additionally, such a book would benefit from an explanation of what led up to the event, how much the event succeeded (or failed), and what place it holds in wrestling in history. This is a fairly rough idea, I know, but I think it has a lot of potential."

Actually, it's Uncensored 96 that you're thinking of, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, yes, I have often considered doing just as you suggest (kind of a movie guide for wrestling PPVs), but there's several mitigating circumstances that would surround such an undertaking.

1) It would be a HUGE book. Even limiting myself to WWF rants, there's still a ton of them. Publishers don't want huge, they want 80-100,000 words because wrestling fans don't read, apparently.

2) The style varies from my early days up until now, and it would make for a disjointed reading experience. Not everyone would notice the differences, but I would, and that's what counts.

3) If I did that, and this is the big one, I would no longer offer the tape review archives for free on the website, if at all. Frankly it would be pretty stupid business to give away the cow when you're trying to sell the milk. I know that the Straight Dope offers free versions of everything in the book, but then Cecil has already sold a gazillion books.

But yes, as an author I would love to do that sort of a book, because it's ridiculously easy to compile from my end and features my best writing outside of Lear and Lazarus, so don't think it's not on the proverbial backburner. But I'm pretty sure The Last Days of WCW (which I STILL don't have a great title for) is my next project. (Interesting how Kindle was pretty much MADE for exactly what this guy is describing.)

Matt Cayuela gets the last word tonight, with yet another take on the Maven Issue:

"I am sick and tired of people saying Maven wasn't officially eliminated, and getting there facts wrong. I know this is sad but i consider myself a Royal Rumble specialist since I know them all by heart... but anyways. You have the largest audience of wrestling readers so you can settle this all with my facts.

Maven WAS officially eliminated

89 Rumble- Andre the Giant eliminates Jake Roberts. Jake Roberts comes back in later with the snake causing Andre to eliminate himself.

Akeen and Bossman eliminate Hogan- Hogan pulls down the top rope causing Bossman to be eliminated.

(No physical contact in both cases but but bot times an eliminated man caused someone else to be eliminated)

90 Rumble- Piper eliminates Bad News Brown. Bad News reaches up and pulls Piper out. (Physical contact this time)

92 Rumble- Randy Savage voluntarily jumps over the top and both feet hit the floor. (Savage was allowed back in the Rumble)

Sid Justice eliminates Hogan. Hogan aides in the elimination od Sid Justice.

93 Rumble- Giant Gonzalez eliminates Undertaker (Gonzalez not an entrant in the Rumble)

96 Rumble- Shawn Michaels eliminates Vader. Vader comes back in the ring and eliminates Michaels, Hakushi, Bob Holly (All 3 were allowed back in the ring)

97 Rumble- Ahmed Johnson eliminates himself, Mil Mascaras eliminates himself also. Ahmed comes back into the ring and eliminates Faarooq. (Physical contact and AHmed also went back in the ring)

98 Rumble- HHH eliminates Owen Hart (HHH not a participant)

99 Rumble- Kane eliminates himself

2001 Rumble- Drew Carey eliminates himself

Well according to history it looks as if the only way you're not eliminated when both feet hit the floor is if you're in the title match at Wrestlemania (Savage and Michaels). The fact that I am breaking down pro wrestling rules is kinda sad but anyways past Rumbles dictate rules in my book and in 10 of the 12 controversial cases the participant is eliminated. So Maven was gone end of story... please but this to bed for me.

Keep up the good work"

See, if an AOLer agrees with me, it HAS to be true! (What’s a “Maven” anyway?)

And on that note, I bid you toodle-fucking-oo.

Monday Nitro - December 29, 1997

2013-05-22T20:16:00.006-06:00

Starting next week, I'll also be posting Thunder every Friday. Nitro will start being three hours long and five hours of shows in a single day is too much material at once.

Monday Nitro #120

Date: December 29, 1997

Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland

Attendance: 12,196

Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We're into a new era in WCW now as Starrcade 1997 is finally over. We round out the year with this show, where the story is who is actually the WCW World Champion. Sting did win the title, after being pinned by Hogan by way of a “fast” count. The problem is the count wasn't exceptionally fast, therefore making it look like Hogan won clean. Tonight is allegedly a huge night for WCW but I wonder how they manage to screw it up. Let's get to it.

We open with stills from last night of Sting winning the title.

Purple and yellow balloons are dropped because WCW is awesome!

The Nitro Girls dance to start.

Larry Zbyszko gets a bit entrance for saving Nitro for WCW. Tony suggests that NWO fans watch Cartoon Network once their moms go to bed. Larry says now he wants Hall.

Glacier vs. Goldberg

Glacier jumps Goldie to start so Goldberg punches him square in the head. A release slam puts Glacier down again and it's spear/Jackhammer to end it.

Gene brings out Bret Hart for a chat. During his entrance, the announcers think that they jumped the gun about Bret joining the NWO. Bret talks about actions speaking louder than words and how yesterday was about justice. As for the NWO, Bret agrees with a fan by saying they suck. The NWO is a bunch of scum and they remind him of the scum he just left. Could it be because most of them used to work there?

Bret is glad to see the rise of WCW because he looks forward to matches with Luger, Sting and Giant. He runs down some of the prominent members of the NWO, saying that Hogan is going to pay the biggest price. There won't be any running away like there was a few years back, because it's time for them to fight.

As the announcers talk about Bret's promo, Raven gets a mic and says that he and the Flock will give Benoit pain if that's what he wants.

Chris Benoit vs. Van Hammer

Benoit goes right after the Flock, but amazingly enough he gets beaten down by six guys at once. Van Hammer pulls him into the ring and pounds on him before nearly botching a superplex. Benoit avoids a charge into the corner and throws on the Crossface, drawing in the Flock for a DQ. This was nothing.

Post match Benoit gets beaten down until Mongo makes the save.

Here's Flair with something to say. He congratulates DDP on his victory and bringing the US Title back to WCW. As for Hennig, Flair still has unfinished business with him so watch out. This brings Flair to Sting, who brought it back where it belongs. Flair congratulates Bret for making the save last night because Bret is in the big leagues now. Bret may be a big time columnist and referee, but Flair has a column from the Baltimore Sun. Flair reads comments from the paper, which basically say Flair is the best ever. The author of these comments: Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer, both mentioned by Flair.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending and jumps Dragon from behind in the aisle. A very quick powerbomb puts Dragon down and a suplex does the same before Eddie puts him on top. Dragon fights back but has his super rana countered. A tornado DDT puts Dragon down but he counters a suplex into the Dragon Sleeper for the tap out and the title in less than 90 seconds. So Eddie dominates the division for months before tapping out in a minute and twenty six seconds? Really?

Post match Eddie beats up Dragon and throws him to the floor.

Here's the NWO for the first time tonight. It's Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan already posing on the stage. Bischoff says that Hogan is still champion so treat him as such. Hogan says made wrestling today and IS wrestling, so let's get some facts straight. He talks about how JJ Dillon said Nick Patrick was the only referee for the main event last night and we get a video showing Dillon saying just that. Hogan also remembers Patrick counting the pin and calling for the bell, so here are some stills of the bell not ringing.

Now we get slow motion video of Bret beating up Nick Patrick and Hogan bragging about winning the match clean in the middle of the ring. To a degree, that's rather true which is one of the many problems with last night. He and Bischoff are open for suggestions as to how to fix the problem, and it better be soon.

Heenan comes back to the broadcasting booth, saying that he was being brave last week rather than joining the NWO. That's very Heenan of him. Bobby ranting and raving about how he's the only one that loves WCW is funny stuff.

US Title: Mortis vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is in light jeans here for some reason and starts with a headlock and neckbreaker for no cover. Vanderberg gets on the apron, allowing Mortis to hit Page low to take over. A wheelbarrow mat slam gets two on the champion and Mortis pounds away in the corner. He does Page's spinning finger point and drives Page face first into the mat for two. A spinwheel kick gets two on Page but he breaks up the Flatliner and lays Mortis out with the Diamond Cutter to retain.

Rating: D+. Oh come on like Page was going to lose the title the night after he won it. Mortis is a good choice for a spot like this as he has a solid look and an incredibly solid moveset, but once he became Chris Kanyon he was just another guy and that's where his career pretty much hit its ceiling.

Here's JJ Dillon who says that Sting officially is the world champion, and apparently he's going to defend the title against any member of the NWO tonight. Gee I wonder which member is going to take him up on that.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending. He dances to start and is booed, so Booker raises the roof to a good reaction. A hard clothesline puts Inferno down as the fans are almost silent. Disco misses an elbow so Booker breakdances a bit before taking it to the floor. The champ is whipped into the barricade but catches Booker with a Chartbuster (Stunner) onto the top rope as they come back in. Both guys fall back over the top and out to the floor. This time it's Booker being sent into the barricade as the crowd stays silent.

Disco breaks up the count before bringing Booker back in, only to be caught in a sunset flip for two. Off to a chinlock by the champion as we've had a grueling three minutes of action so far. Back up and a neckbreaker puts Booker down as the announcers talk non stop about Sting's challenge. Disco gets caught by a spinwheel kick and a backbreaker to set up the Harlem Hangover for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Not only did the match bore everyone to sleep but the announcers literally talked about the match for two seconds. Booker T's singles career gets started here and would wind up having a TON of titles in addition to ten tag titles. The match mostly sucked though as there was no chemistry here at all.

JJ is back out and says no one has accepted the challenge. Bischoff comes out and says Hogan accepts the challenge. This is yet another big SCREW YOU to the PPV fans, as they get nothing exclusive because the main event of the biggest show of the year is being given away for free 24 hours later.

Curt Hennig vs. Chris Jericho

Here's a match that could have been awesome if their careers hadn't overlapped like they did. The cleanshaven look still doesn't look right on Rude. Hennig looks mad tonight and it's time to talk about Hogan vs. Sting. Tony claims that the fans going for popcorn are off to call their friends and tell them about what's happening. If the friends are wrestling fans, wouldn't they likely be watching the show? Jericho sends Hennig to the floor and Curt has a conference with Rude.

Back in and Hennig pounds away on Jericho in the corner with punches and chops before putting on a chinlock. Tony actually complains about Bischoff whining too much. TONY SCHIAVONE is annoyed that someone is whining too much. Jericho fights up and slams him down but botches the Lionsault by not flipping at all and landing back first on Hennig's knees. The PerfectPlex ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This was barely a match at all as a long portion of it was spent with Jericho in the chinlock. The commentary here is really annoying though as they don't even react to stuff like the botch because they're too busy being smug about keeping Nitro last night. This was a lot weaker of a match than I was expecting.

Post match Jericho goes nuts, banging a chair against a post while shouting about how he's sick of this.

Here's Scott Hall with something to say. The announcers spend the entire entrance talking about how the NWO sucks and cracks themselves up in the process. Hall says that being here in Baltimore for the holidays is just too sweet. The NWO wins the survey and that's it. Seriously that's the whole promo. Were they running four minutes short or something?

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Another match that you were supposed to have to pay to see last night, but here it is for everyone anyway. To be fair though, this is their FOURTH match against each other on Nitro and their sixth this month counting a Saturday Night match and the PPV match. Tony and Mike go on a rant against Bagwell for bragging about a winning streak against Luger but all the matches being DQ's or countouts. I guess we're ignoring the pin from last night because it might make the NWO look good.

Norton pulls Luger's leg as a distraction to start, causing Luger to chase him around. Buff jumps him as he comes back in and the Bagwell control begins. He jumps up and down on Lex's back before getting two off a neckbreaker. The Blockbuster misses and Luger hits his clotheslines followed by a powerslam. Norton gets knocked off the apron and the Rack ends this quick. Nothing to see here, but well done WCW by having Bagwell lose in three minutes the night after the win that was supposed to elevate him.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan really does look weird without his belt. Sting power walks to the ring and just like last night, is beaten down by a few Hogan punches. Hollywood hits him with the belt over and over. Sting gets choked on the mat as it's completely one sided so far. They head to the floor with Sting still stumbling around. We're a minute in and the world champion has had no offense. A slam puts Sting down on the floor before heading back inside. This is the most offense Hogan has been on in years. Sting Hulks Up and gets in his first offense after a minute and forty seconds.

Sting pounds away in the corner and sends Hogan out to the floor. Hollywood is whipped into the barricade and we head back inside without the missing splash against the steel. An atomic drop puts Hogan down but Hogan comes back with some chops and a clothesline in the corner. Hogan pounds away at the head and gets two off the big boot. Back up and they collide with Hogan going down, allowing Sting to do the falling low blow spot. Hogan gets up again and slams him down, only to miss the leg drop. Sting stomps on his hands and hits the Splash....but we're out of time and the show ends.

Rating: D+. This wasn't much as we only got about five minutes. However, Sting looked FAR better here than he did last night, which is exactly what he should have done at Starrcade. The problem here though was Hogan continued to look like he was wrestling any schnook off the street instead of the great hope for WCW. The ending sucks too but we'll get to that in a bit.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn't that bad, but it's a sign of terrible things to come. That ending basically signaled the end of Sting meaning much in this war against the NWO, but we'll get to that at a later date. As for the rest of the show, it wasn't have bad with everything going very quickly and a lot of stuff happening, including two title changes. You can see a lot of 1998 coming up here and it doesn't look all that bad. We'll get to the horrors soon enough though.

That's that for 1997 on Nitro. To say this year was successful for WCW is a huge understatement, but the cracks were very clearly starting to show. The problem at the end of the day is that the entire year was spent building up Sting, but the Starrcade ending has taken away every bit of momentum they spent 1997 building up. This would become a major problem over the next few months and years, but that doesn't mean 1997 had nothing good on the shows.

At the same time, WCW was having some incredibly entertaining television. You had the cruiserweights tearing the house down, the rise of DDP in his wars with Savage and a good feud with Hennig vs. Flair. There were a lot of things to get excited about in WCW and the NWO continues to be a huge source of drama on top of it all.

In total, 1997 is easily the most successful year that WCW ever had. If nothing else, look at what's coming with the amount of content. Within the next ten days, WCW would go from having two hours of programming through the week to five hours and the ratings stayed strong....for awhile. 1998 is a very interesting year and we'll be back with that very soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com

concussions

2013-05-22T17:58:00.001-06:00

> Whoa: http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2013/05/16/wwe-concussions-chris-nowinski-research-sports-legacy-institute-cte/2178667/
>

Makes that HHH storyline even more timely.

Today's "What If..?"

2013-05-22T07:44:00.002-06:00

Here's something i'd quite like to ask all the BoD'ers every now and then - What if..?

After some of the cool discussion that took place in the ECW thread I started last week, I put this question to you:

"It's 2001 - What happens if ECW stay in business (say, get the deal with USA) and WCW go out of business?"

*How long do they survive?
*Does their status increase as they'll automatically be seen as the 2nd biggest wrestling company in North America?
*Who do they pick up from WCW (realistically) who either wasn't picked up by WWF, or was being quickly mistreated pretty evidently by WWF (yeh, alright, alright. There's a case that 90% of the WCW guys were..)? (Here is a link to the WCW 2001 roster - http://www.willywrestlefest.fr/WcW/Historique/Roster_WcW.htm)
*Out of the guys they pick up from WCW, who gets the push?
*What effect does this have on the Invasion angle? (if any..)

There's a thousand possibilities and outcomes here, and i'd love to hear what some of you guys think.

Cheers.

Follow @FNBodySlams on Twitter

Rather odd, but interesting fan footage from WM 12

2013-05-22T04:22:00.004-06:00

So, here's some odd obsessed fan taking video camera footage of loads of the WWF guys at a hotel, then at a charity baseball game, and then before they enter some sort of function (he even catches VKM!).

Freaky bits include - the filmer dressing as HBK and filming himself in the mirror, and also spying on HBK/Vader working out in the gym. (See, I told you it was odd. You all know what you're getting yourself in for).

But, in all seriousness, it's a cool watch, even if it's just to see Trips and Ahmed Johnson (who looks like an utter monster at this point) pissing around during a Q&A. And Tammy during her DISGUSTINGLY hot phase. Man, she loves it.

Also, look out for Lawler and Hennig having a seriously off day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q34DIJB5uY

(Credit goes to Inside the Ropes on Facebook)

Scott vs Dave

2013-05-22T04:00:00.001-06:00

I was sent this analysis from a fan of Scott's who goes by the name Joesph, the other day. As he puts it:

"It's a frequency analysis I did on all of his matches rated above 4 stars (****1/4 to *****). I took 12 wrestlers as I mention in the study who put on great matches. I just completed a study for Dave Meltzer's ratings as well and compared the two"

It's no surprise who's at number 1, really. Also, keep in mind, this is strictly for a person's WWE career. Other promotions need not apply. This was a great deal of work, and an interesting read. Especially that The Rock doesn't get any 5 star love. I thought for sure most people considered WMX7 to be a 5 star main event, but I suppose the ending does sour it.

Anyone else want to use the Caliber Express Line: caliberw@hotmail.com

Scott Keith Ratings

*****
HBK-8 Austin-6   Jericho-1
Bret-6    Rock-0 Benoit-5
Undertaker-3   HHH-6    Angle-1
Foley-2   Edge-4 Flair-1

****3/4
HBK-6    Austin-2   Jericho-5
Bret-2    Rock-3    Benoit-5
Undertaker-0   HHH-4   Angle-2
Foley-1 Edge-1   Flair-0

****1/2
HBK-7   Austin-3   Jericho-5
Bret-6 Rock-8 Benoit-6
Undertaker-7    HHH-7 Angle-8
Foley-2 Edge-6 Flair-1

****1/4
HBK-9 Austin-4    Jericho-4
Bret-7   Rock-2    Benoit-13
Undertaker-3 HHH-3   Angle-13
Foley-3    Edge-9 Flair-4

Total Values (4.25-5* Matches) From Greatest to Least

HBK-30
Benoit-29
Angle-24
Bret-21
HHH-20
Edge-20
Austin-15
Jericho-15
Undertaker-13
Rock-13
Foley-8
Flair-6

NOTES: I counted every Scott Keith match that was listed above 4* for 12 WWE wrestlers who put on many matches above the 4 star level throughout their careers, in order to evaluate what superstars had higher quality matches over their careers than their fellow wrestlers. (This included the updated Rock vs. John Cena match from WM28 at ****1/2). So from 4.25*-5*, every match was reviewed. I counted tag team matches and survivor series matches as well. For example, The Rockers vs. Brainbusters received a rating of ****1/2 and since it has Shawn in it; therefore, Shawn received a tally mark. Another example: The tag team match from Survivor Series ’87 (rated ****1/4) had Bret compete in it; therefore, he received a tally mark for that match. Royal Rumble matches were only tallied for wrestlers if they won that rumble e.g. Flair, Benoit, and Edge each won a rumble rated *****; therefore, they each received one tally mark. Other participants on this list who participated in the rumble, but did not win it, received no tally mark.
As the results show, Shawn had the most ***** and ****3/4 matches at 8 and 6 respectively. Angle and The Rock tied for the most ****1/2 matches at 8. Benoit and Angle tied for the most ****1/4 matches at 13. Overall, Shawn had the most matches rated above 4 stars on SK’s list at 30 matches, barely beating out Benoit’s 29 matches. Variables included when these wrestlers wrestled. For example, Flair had most of his best matches in the ‘80s in NWA, and since this statistical study only included WWF/WWE matches, he did not score as high. Longevity in a wrestler’s career would statistically increase the amount of matches over 4 stars a wrestler would have, as well as other variables such as: the amount of PPV’s a wrestler wrestled in, lack of injuries, how many TV matches on Superstars/Raw/Smackdown, etc. a wrestler competed in, etc., - would all naturally be factors affecting the outcome of whether a wrestler had a lot of high rated matches or not. Keep in mind that these are the opinions of one man only-Scott Keith, and are in no way determinate on what others may think; however, Scott Keith is one of the most knowledgeable reviewers on the topic and has issued more wrestling reviews than just about any other person I have ever seen (with maybe the exception of Dave Meltzer). Even if very knowledgeable fans disagree with a match by 0.25* or 0.5*, the list is still very accurate for many criteria, such as the following example: If Wrestler “A” had 22 matches rated in his career between 4.25* - 5*, and Wrestler “B” had 9 matches rated in his career between 4.25* - 5*, and they both wrestled for about the same amount of longevity, with just a few injuries throughout each one’s career, etc. , then Wrestler “A” clearly had better matches over the course of his career; hence, it can be argued, that Wrestler “A” was the better wrestler and had the better career.

Dave Meltzer Ratings

*****
HBK-2   Austin-1   Jericho-0
Bret-2    Rock-0 Benoit-0
Undertaker-1    HHH-0 Angle-0
Foley-0   Edge-0 Flair-0

****3/4
HBK-7 Austin-2 Jericho-3
Bret-2    Rock-0   Benoit-6
Undertaker-3   HHH-4 Angle-3
Foley-0   Edge-3   Flair-0

****1/2
HBK-9 Austin-7    Jericho-6
Bret-2 Rock-5 Benoit-5
Undertaker-6   HHH-7 Angle-8
Foley-5 Edge-9 Flair-0

****1/4
HBK-13   Austin-5   Jericho-9
Bret-6 Rock-7 Benoit-13
Undertaker-4 HHH-10 Angle-15
Foley-1 Edge-16 Flair-2

Total Values (4.25-5* Matches) From Greatest to Least

HBK-31
Edge-28
Angle-26
Benoit-24
HHH-21
Jericho-18
Austin-15
Undertaker-14
Bret-12
Rock-12
Foley-6
Flair-2

NOTES: I counted every Dave Meltzer match that was listed above 4* for 12 WWE wrestlers who put on many matches above the 4 star level throughout their careers, in order to evaluate what superstars had higher quality matches over their careers than their fellow wrestlers. So from 4.25*-5*, every match was reviewed. I counted tag team matches and survivor series matches as well. For example, The Rockers vs. Brainbusters received a rating of ****1/4 and since it has Shawn in it; therefore, Shawn received a tally mark. Another example: The tag team match from Survivor Series ’01 (rated ****1/2) had Austin, Angle, The Rock, and Jericho compete in it; therefore, they each received a tally mark for that match. As the results show, Shawn and Bret had the most ***** matches at 2 apiece (though DM only has given a 5 star rating 5 times). Shawn had the most ****3/4 matches at 7. Shawn and Edge tied for the most ****1/2 matches at 9 apiece. Edge had the most ****1/4 matches at 16. Overall, Shawn had the most matches rated above 4 stars on DM’s list at 31 matches, beating out Edge’s 28 matches. Variables included when these wrestlers wrestled. For example, Flair had most of his best matches in the ‘80s in NWA, and since this statistical study only included
WWF/WWE matches, he did not score as high. Longevity in a wrestler’s career would statistically increase the amount of matches over 4 stars a wrestler would have, as well as other variables such as: the amount of PPV’s a wrestler wrestled in, lack of injuries, how many TV matches on Superstars/Raw/Smackdown, etc. a wrestler competed in, etc., - would all naturally be factors affecting the outcome of whether a wrestler had a lot of high rated matches or not. Keep in mind that these are the opinions of one man only-Dave Meltzer and are in no way determinate on what others may think; however, Dave Meltzer is one of the most knowledgeable reviewers on the topic and has issued more wrestling reviews than just about any other person I have ever seen (with maybe the exception of Scott Keith). Even if very knowledgeable fans disagree with a match by 0.25* or 0.5*, the list is still very accurate for many criteria, such as the following example: If Wrestler “A” had 22 matches rated in his career between 4.25* - 5*, and Wrestler “B” had 9 matches rated in his career between 4.25* - 5*, and they both wrestled for about the same amount of longevity, with just a few injuries throughout each one’s career, etc. , then Wrestler “A” clearly had better matches over the course of his career; hence, it can be argued, that Wrestler “A” was the better wrestler and had the better career.

***Comparing Dave Meltzer to Scott Keith’s ratings***

Scott and Dave’s lists are interesting to compare for a number of reasons. First off, once again Shawn Michaels tops the list with the highest number of matches rated above **** at 30 and 31, respectively. Angle and Benoit finished high on DM’s ratings, just like SK’s, only on DM’s, Edge finished very high at #2 for highest number of matches rated above ****. HHH, Austin, Undertaker, and The Rock finished similar on both frequency analyses. Jericho scored higher on DM’s list; whereas, Bret surprisingly finished much lower on DM’s list, than he did on SK’s. Foley and Flair, once again finished in the bottom two.
There were naturally some matches that only Scott Keith reviewed and not Dave Meltzer and vice versa, which would naturally be a factor scoring; however, both guys had about the same amount of matches rated in each of the four categories from ****1/4 to *****. Meltzer is very harsh on giving out a 5 star rating with only 5; whereas, Keith (like most fans) goes the full monty much more generously.