Ruby Nite

Family, friends & acceptance

nicole — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:12:51 +0000

I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with my mother and sisters and I had a great time. It was a bit heavy on the sister/mother/daughter bonding moments so it was probably best that Gary went to Montreal for Fantasia and a heavy metal concert with some friends. My husband loves my family, but even I will admit that when the four of us get together it can be pretty intense. There is always a lot of laughter, talking over each other, teasing, bickering and hugging. But I love every moment of it because my family rocks.

One of the many reasons why I adore my family is because they are and always have been loving and supportive. When I was a teenager and in my 20s I did not have the confidence that I do now. I was insecure about my body and the amount of space I took up in the world. The fact that my sisters and friends were always encouraging, that they were never hurtful or dismissive about my weight, gave me the space to feel comfortable and eventually confident in my own skin.

It was a tough road and trust me there were many nights filled with angst that I would never be loved, I would never marry, I would die a virgin, I would never …. well I would never be worthy of finding someone special because of my size. I find it interesting looking back now that I was always confident about being successful in whatever career I choose, but it was the fact that I would be alone is what troubled me.

Fast forward 20 years later and I am sharing my life with an amazing man. A man that does everything to encourage me and make me feel beautiful. Over the last five years I’ve become confident in my skin and that I know now that I have the right to enjoy my life. I have stopped waiting for the day when I am thin to do what my heart desires. Instead I do what I want now and my life has never been more full of love and laughter. In the last two years I married the man of my dreams, had some amazing friends throw us a surprise stag and doe, traveled Europe, posed for art, got a half sleeve tattoo, continue to work in a job that I love, went to concerts, attended art shows and had a life that makes me smile when I think back on it.

You can not imagine the weight of letting go of that baggage of feeling like you are not good enough because of your size. No one should have to live a life half lived because they are afraid. Do I still struggle with body image issues? Of course I do. But for me the first step was accepting that a size is just a number and that number may go up and down depending on so many factors. And you know what.. That. Is. OK. There is no need to panic and think that you are not good enough. I look so much better wearing clothes that fit me then trying to squeeze into a number that might not.

I think I’ll leave this for now. I wasn’t really expecting this to come out here in this post but I am glad it did. I tried to come up with some kind of summary…so way to wrap this post up nicely and I am at a loss. Probably because I have not wrapped this issue up nicely in my own head.

P.S. All of the photos taken in this post with the exception of the tattoo close up were taken by the amazing Ashlea Wessel of Revolver Photography.

Tags: acceptance, Family, fatshion, fatshonista, Friends, love, Photos, size, Wedding

A birthday party for my love & my outfit

nicole — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 02:29:16 +0000

Back in April, it was my husband’s birthday and we celebrated it with some of our family and friends at the Cadillac Lounge, a local bar. Back when we first started dating, I used live across from this fantastic pub and it became a regular hang out for us, especially for birthdays.

As you can see from the slideshow above, we had a great night hanging out and having a fabulous time. I probably do not say it enough but we are lucky to be surrounded by a talented, loving and amazing group of people. I know it’s cheesy but I really love our family and friends.

Now on to the outfit!

I bought this dress last summer from Torrid but I never really had the chance to wear it more than once or twice. I was getting tattooed pretty steadily last year leading up to the wedding and the elastic on the arms just irritated it too much.

So, I was pretty excited to wear it since it is one of my favourite looks of a more fitted top and a full skirt. I like to think it’s a nice modern twist on a vintage classic. The ruffles are a nightmare to iron though so I can’t wait to try out my new steamer on it. I know for some it might be too matchy, but I was pleased that the pinkish-purple tank was identical to one of the colours in my head scarf. A scarf that soon became a spring wardrobe staple.

I thought that the white tights with the black mary janes might be hovering a bit close to the school girl look but I was feeling sassy so I did not bother changing the tights. The belt added a bit of texture and shine to the outfit and I broke out my mother of pearl and onyx checkerboard necklace to echo the black and white of the rest of the outfit.

And last but not least, here is a picture of me and my handsome husband on right before we left for the pub. I’m one very lucky lady. If you want to see some more photos of the night, feel free to check out the flickr set.

Outfit Details
Black & White Dress: Torrid
Tights: We love colors
Tank Top: Reitmans
Scarf: Sidewalk Sale
Shoes: Fluevog
Necklace: A jewelery shop in the Toronto PATH

Tags: addition elle, belt, birthday, black, dress, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, Friends, gary, happy, ootd, outfit of the day, paisley, party, purple, rockabilly, scarf, teal, tights, torrid, we love colors, white

Remembering April Rain

nicole — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:21:02 +0000

Well it’s been sweltering hot up here in Toronto, in fact my apartment is sitting at a “cool” 29 degrees celsius, with the AC going. I can not do much more then sit in my lightest articles of clothing and try not to breath too heavily because my own breath makes me hot.

I also misplaced my tripod. You see my amazingly talented husband Gary had some lovely folks come over to the apartment to film it, him and a short piece on us for a new show coming out. It won’t be on air until 2011 but when I find more out I’ll be sure to share it.

Well as I was saying, I of course organized the apartment so well that I have seem to have lost track of my tripod. I’ll look for it a bit more this weekend, but until then I have a few photos from spring I thought I would share.

I recently discovered the joy of skinny jeans this spring. I bought my first pair of Source of Wisdoms a size too big but I still loved them, in fact I may be making them into shorts this summer, if I can find the energy. I ordered a second pair a size smaller and they are perfection! I had a hard time finding the type of tops that I liked with it and I came across this black jersey knit tee at winners. It has a belt type rope that goes with it but I decided I wanted to fill unrestricted that day.

One of the things I really liked about this top was the fact that it had some detailing around the wide neckline and the sleeves were a bit floaty. Also it was incredibly comfortable, but a bit low cut for the office. So I layered this light purple tank I picked up on sale as part of a top/tank set . Then to dress it up a bit I added a cute scarf I picked up at a sidewalk sale and topped it off with a teal beret. Oh and be prepared for this scarf to make an appearance in two other outfits but worn in different ways. I did not realize its frequent appearance until I looked at the outfits I had photographed this April.

Since the spring was quite wet, may hair was in braids for the most part. The berets always helped hide some of the frizzy mess that was happening on most days. I topped it off by tucking my jeans into my boots. This was a look that took a long time for me to feel comfortable with wearing. But once I realized I liked the proportions and the fact that it was showing off my legs I finally accepted it and now, love it.

Outfit Details
Black Jersey Knit top: Winners
Jeans: Source of Wisdom via Torrid
Tank Top: Reitmans
Scarf: Sidewalk Sale
Shoes: Fluevog
Beret: Le Chateau

Tags: black, bond girls, boots, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, jeans, jersey knit, le chateau, ootd, outfit of the day, polka dots, purple, reitman's, scarf, skinny jeans, torrid, Winners

Forgotten Stripes

nicole — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 04:01:07 +0000

Excuse my absence from posting but I had to talk myself out of a mild web crisis. I was convinced that I needed to completely revamp my entire website when really I just needed to fix a few things in the back end. When this happens I tend to stop posting because I have to fix whatever is driving me crazy. I may not be a perfectionist when it comes to a lot of things but I am incredibly anal when it comes to my code and my code needs work. It was written years ago and now I would do a lot of things differently. Anyway, I fixed a few things and I convinced myself to let go of the other items on my to do list for now so I could get back to posting some wardrobe diary outfits again.

So, without further ado, here is an outfit from early April. What I really liked about this outfit was that I was able to pull out and wear a long sleeve top that I was certain was going to end up in the donate pile. The length of it just did not work with my body proportions, but I loved the colours in the stripped pattern, and the length of the arms. When I ordered this modified (sleeveless) burgundy dress from eShakti, I knew I was going to try pairing these two pieces together. When I received the dress I tried it and I loved how it worked out. The belt is from Torrid and I love the texture of the knotted pattern that allows you to see the dress beneath it.

I wanted to keep the outfit from feeling too dark so I paired it with a pair of grey tights instead of black ones. I figured that the black from my boots would be enough black in the outfit. To fight against the rain and wind, my hair was often in braids, with my black beret from H&M. For jewelery I have on a sacred heart necklace and my trusty silver hoops that were a gift from my mother-in-law. One of these days I’ll remember to take a better shot of the jewelery, I promise.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I love these boots? No? Well, these boots are probably the best purchase I have made in a very long time. I think once I have my pictures up from our Honeymoon I’ll tell you the story of these boots and why I love them.

Outfit Details
Dress: eShakti
Belt: Torrid
Long Sleeve Blouse: Addition-Elle
Grey Tights: Penningtons
Shoes: Fluevog
Beret: H&M

Tags: addition elle, black, blouse, burgandy, dress, eshakti, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, H&M, long-sleeve, penningtons, pink, scarf, torrid, white

Feeling Blue

nicole — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 03:59:51 +0000

After looking at some of my past wardrobe diary posts, I realized that the colour red was a major part in most of those outfits. Now, believe it or not I actually do wear other colours, but I just never seem to remember to take photos of those outfits. So when I got ready for work a few days ago, I made a point to get up a bit earlier so I could take a few shots before I left in the morning.

I like the blue monotone colour palette of the scarf and the length is perfect for me. I find wearing scarves like this with a loose, low knot gives me a nice pop of colour but it still keeps the V neck line I prefer. I paired the blue scarf with turquoise tights that matched one of the shades, but I felt they were a bit too bright for a work day. So, I layered a pair of black fishnets on top to darken them up. The Fluevog Mary Janes with their funky heels gives the outfit a bit of fun twist. I topped it off with a white cardigan which I think softens the look of fishnets and black dress.

Outfit Details
Dress: eShakti
Cardigan: Torrid
Belt: Addition-Elle
Scarf: Spoof
Blue Tights: We Love Colors
Fishnets: Torrid
Shoes: Fluevog
Beret: H&M

Tags: addition elle, black, blue, cardigan, dress, eshakti, fatshion, fatshonista, fishnets, fluevog, H&M, scarf, torrid, turquoise, we love colors, white

Circle print dress

nicole — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 02:27:37 +0000

This tube dress with the grey, red and white circles on a black backgroud is one of my staple dresses. I have had it for about 4 years now and it gets worn quite a bit probably because it combines my favourite colour combination of red, black and white beautifully all in one print. If you have seen some of my past outfits the fact that I love this colour combination should come as no surprise . I think that pairing these colours always looks simple and elegant and it is my go to combination when I can’t decide what to wear.

I bought this dress at a time when I was really starting to pay attention to the shapes of my clothing, and what kind of overall silhouette it would give me. I like the shape because it highlights the smallest part of my body, which is just below my chest, which I accentuated with a red leather obi belt, and the black bolero jacket. From that point the dress flares out in an A shape skimming past the areas I don’t want to draw attention. I also wore a black peasant type skirt underneath to give the dress for warmth and to give it a fuller look at the bottom.

I paired the dress with my red fluevog boots, a pair of circular white shell earrings and put all of my hair into a black beret which I often wear as a snood. I love my black beret and actually need to find a lighter weight version for the summer. It’s great to quickly throw your hair in when you are running a bit late or your curls are just way too wild to tame that day.

Outfit Details
Dress: Addition-Elle
Bolero: Torrid
Boots: Fluevog
Obi Belt: Viktorsabo
Beret: H&Mt

Tags: addition elle, black, circles, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, grey, H&M, ootd, outfit of the day, pattern, print, red, snood, torrid, white

Easter Dinner / Collectif Review

nicole — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 04:51:54 +0000

Every year for Easter my husband and I go to his parents place for a fantastic dinner with his extended family. It’s a fairly laid back affair and people do not often get dressed up. But this year I decided to wear this 50′s inspired dress for the first time even though it was a bit fancier then what I’ve worn in the past. I paired the dress from Collectif with my wine coloured Fluevogs.

I liked the way the red compliments the blue and white of the dress, giving it a bit of a nautical feel. I added the flower in my hair to add a touch of red to the top half of my outfit. I also took a shot of the back of the dress so that you can see how I wore the straps of the dress. Instead of tying the straps behind my neck as it was intended, I crossed the straps and pinned them to the back in a cross pattern. I usually wear all of my halter dresses with the straps pinned back like this because it lets the dress keep its intended shape in the front but it also stops the back of the dress from moving down. This outfit was perfect for the day and it transitioned well to an evening out on the town for a few drinks at our friend’s bar.

I wanted to take a moment to talk a little bit about Collectif. I discovered the brand in a little Rockabilly store in Edinburgh. You can’t imagine the moment of pure glee when I plucked a gorgeous dress with roses and anchors off the rack and it actually fit me. Normally I have to shop at plus size stores which is limiting and a bit of a pain in the ass. So, you can understand how this little label from the UK completely won a special place in my heart at that very moment. As soon as I got home I ordered a second dress from their website but I ordered it a size smaller then the one I already had, hoping it would fit me. Well, it didn’t so I had to return it. During that transaction I struck up a correspondence with the lovely lady who answers their customer service email. She tracked down all of the available dresses in my size so that I could choose which one I wanted to exchange for my returned dress. It took about a month but she never forgot about me. Because of that correspondence I bought two more dresses from their website. This navy blue with micro dots, and a black dress with large white polka dots that you can see in this wardrobe diary entry. I got an email today saying that Colletif just redid their website and I highly recommend checking them out. Their dresses are certainly worth the price.

Outfit Details
Dress: Collectif
Shoes: Fluevog
Hair Flower: Ardene

Tags: collectif, dress, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, navy, ootd, outfit of the day, polka dots, red, rockabilly, Wardrobe Diary, wardrobe remix, white, wine

Earth Angel – By The Penguins

nicole — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:46:25 +0000

This is what was playing when I walked down the aisle to marry Gary, my best friend and love of my life. I have never been happier and a large part of that is because of his never ending love and support. So on this cold and rainy April day I thought I would share one of my favourite songs that will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Earth Angel Lyrics
Earth angel,
Earth angel
Will you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
I’m just a fool,
A fool in love, with you

Earth angel
Earth angel
The one I adore
Love you forever
And ever more
I’m just a fool,
A fool in-love with you

I fell for you
And I knew
The vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,
That someday,
I’ll be the vision of your
Happiness

Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
I’m just a fool,
A fool in love, with you

I fell for you
And I knew
The vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,
That someday,
I’ll be the vision of your
Happiness

Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
I’m just a fool,
A fool in love, with you

Worth it

Tags: 50's music, Earth Angel, gary, love, Music, Photos, The Penguins, Wedding

Black & White Polka Dot Dress as a Skirt

nicole — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:47:27 +0000

I took a bit of a break for a while when life became a bit busy. I was actually in Vegas for a conference for the very first time. I tried to take a few wardrobe diary photos but I just could not seem to get the pictures to turn out well. Now that I am back I will be setting up my shooting area again. With the spring weather I am starting to pull together some new combinations.

The outfit I am posting about today is something I wore back in the end of February when the weather was still quite chilly. I have this great dress from Collectif (with the exception that my detailing is white rather than black) that I wanted to wear to the office, but I decided to wear it as a high-waist skirt. This was so I could layer it with a long-sleeve t and cardigan because the office had been unusually chilly and I was tired of constantly being cold. With some expert tucking, a cardigan and belt, everything came into place nicely. I really liked how comfortable this outfit was and would certainly wear it again.

I will, however, have to wait and have my dress fixed. I brought this beauty to my trip to Vegas and in a desperate moment in the bathroom broke the zipper. All I can say is thank goodness for bathroom attendants that have safety pins because otherwise my night would have been cut extremely short.

And now that I am done procrastinating I really need to get back to writing my thank you cards for the wedding. I technically have a year right?

Outfit Details
Cardigan: Torrid
Long-sleeve T: Reitman’s
Polka dot dress as a skirt: Collectif
Red Boots: Fluevog
Brooch: Handmade gift from a friend

Tags: belt, black, boots, cardigan, collectif, dress, fatshion, fatshonista, fluevog, polka dots, red, reitman's, rockabilly, skirt, wardrobe remix, white, white tshirt, Work

Grey & Pink Leopard Print

nicole — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:33:26 +0000

Last weekend, my mother, sister and cousin came up to Toronto for a visit and to celebrate my cousin’s 19th birthday. We had a full day of shopping on Queen Street west, where I found the gorgeous scarf I posted about a few days ago. That night we decided we all wanted to go out. We thought we were going to go to a jazz club but once we realized how busy it was going to be, we ended up at a salsa lounge. The lounge ended up being the perfect choice. There was a live band, a lot of dancing, some fantastic drinks and a night filled with laughs. I did not have a lot of time to get ready, so I kept the outfit simple. I pulled out my sleeveless black dress from eShakti since I had ironed it a few days ago but never wore it and I paired it with a new grey and pink leopard print cardigan I just got in from Torrid.

I decided to play up the pink in the cardigan by layering a pair of fishnets over my “Scarlett” tights from We Love Colours. According to the site these tights are supposed to be red but they are most definitely fuchsia. I would still love to find a pair of nice red tights, but now I have no idea what colour I should try. For my shoes, I knew I wanted a pair of boots so the tights would not be too overwhelming. I opted for my Fluevog bondgirls which I knew would be comfortable all night long.

I ended up taking off the sweater half way through the night, which meant I just had on my dress for a while. I have to say, paying the extra $15 to make this dress sleeveless was one of the best decisions I made. I think it has made it really versatile when it comes to layering, and it also let’s me show off my tattoo. Now that I had my final tattoo session yesterday, I am certainly going to want to wear more sleeveless dress once the warmer weather hits.

Outfit Details
Dress: eShakti
Cardigan: Torrid
Tights: We Love Colours
Fishnets: The Bay
Boots: Fluevog
Necklace: Poe by Ghoulish Gary

Tags: boots, cardigan, dress, eshakti, fluevog, grey, leopard print, ootd, outfit of the day, Photography, red, torrid