Running Off at the Mind

Over the State Line and Through the Woods....

2009-12-22T13:16:00.002-06:00

...to G's house we go! Just in case the weather folk here in the Midwest are correct in predicting (cue echo) "Snowmageddon 2009", we're opting to slide over to Iowa tomorrow. Quite literally, from the sound of things.

It was nice knowing all of you. Just know that I loved you all. Well, maybe not all, but it's a lot more dramatic if I say that and you'll weep uncontrollably when you read about me being wrapped around a mile marker on I-80.

That being said, I just want to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. Yeah, that's right...I said "Christmas". Not "Happy Holidays". Not "enjoy the season". CHRISTMAS. Oh, and Happy Hanukkah if that's your thing.

Because it's CHRISTMAS, I'm going under for awhile. Well, at least until I probably get really liquored up at 10am next Tuesday and "reflect" on 2009. Just because I can.

That should be a good one.

*picture note - The kids flanking Santa are my kids, duh. What you don't see is the big effing stuffed elk behind Mr. Kringle. There was no line at Bass Pro Shops for Santa at 6pm on a Sunday night. Don't judge. Fortuitously enough, we did pick up a smokin' deal on a pink camouflage bayonet starter kit (swear to God). I told KidDoodle 1 she could play with it in the car.

No Runnerz Allowed

2009-12-17T09:24:00.001-06:00

"No skinny redheaded guys, that run marathons, are allowed in the contest. Saw-wee, buh dems da roo-leeez."

The preceding email came from a friend of mine last night when I asked him if I could join he and another friend in a friendly exercise contest.

Not to make light of Ms. Rosa Parks, but folks....I've been sent to the back of the bus.

Because I have run 1 marathon and because I weigh less than the aforementioned "friends", I'm not fit to participate in their little reindeer games*. The stakes are high, too. After a 4 week period, the loser has to offer a kids playdate at their house for the winner. Folks, I need this playdate. It's been too long since WifeDoodle and I have gone to a restaurant that use tablecloths and don't have balloons at the entrance.

I am all for anyone starting or maintaining a healthy lifestyle. If any of my family, friends, and/or acquaintances want to start, I'm the first one in line cheering them on. Now I'm excluded? Does the fact that I run (in theory) 3 times per week intimidate them? I can't imagine. This is almost as disconcerting as being called an athlete. Basically, between that episode and this one, I can only come to one conclusion:

I'm an effin' stud.

Editor's Note - Since this draft, my friends have adopted a point system that makes it a lot more fair....for them. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.....

*seasonal, funny, and good looking! How do I do it?

Dear Maxfli.....

2009-12-16T08:36:00.002-06:00

Dear Maxfli,

Thank you so much for waking me up the past 4 weekday mornings at 3am. Even though you're still amazed that I come home every evening, you still have the uncanny ability to know when I plan on a morning run or workout. Not only that, but this morning you didn't even have to go outside to pee. Instead, you woke me up with your incessant whining to let me know that I was sleeping SOUNDLY in your spot. Let me tell you something Max, when I rescued you from the animal shelter 8 years ago, this was not what I had in mind. You've been a great dog, but this has to stop.

P.S. - I'll be sending you my Starbucks bill for the past 4 mornings. I took the liberty of ordering caffe americanos....double shot no less. I think it's the least you could do for me.

P.P.S. - I'll be sure to return the favor, too. I'll interrupt you when you're licking the spot where your nuts used to be.

Sincerely,

Your Master

Coming Out...

2009-12-14T09:00:00.000-06:00

Let me just take it down a notch, folks. I haven't been completely honest with any of you and it's just killing me. There are a couple of things that I have to get off of my chest:

I've been banging Vegas waitresses like a dozen Nike golf balls. Wait.....wrong topic.

Let's start over.....

I'm starting to get used to the treadmill. Note that I didn't say I LIKE running on the treadmill. I don't. I like the treadmill because it has been very convenient as of late. Lately, the morning has brought unholy low temps and I'm not about to freeze out the boys just so I can get a run in. That, and it's really convenient to sneak in 3 or 4 miles while KidDoodle2 takes a nap and I'm the only one at home. I mean, I could probably let him sleep, hit the streets for a quick 4 miler, but I don't need CPS knocking on my door. That, and I don't look good in orange nor do I shuffle well in leg shackles and paper slippers. Don't get me wrong, I love running outdoors, it's just that I don't detest the Rubber Band of Doom like I used to.
This one is harder for me to admit: I like Twitter. I don't post much. Nobody's really reading my stuff (much like here). I do, however, enjoy breaking news updates, columnists' insight in-between columns and some funny comments. I still think that Twitter is the lazy way of writing, but it is a decent time suck once you follow some interesting people/organizations. Not that you asked, but here's how I've used Twitter in the past week:

I wasn't near a TV for the Heisman Awards and obviously I had a rooting interest this year. Note - Let's just change the description of the Heisman to "Best QB, Receiver, or Running Back of the Year award", shall we? (see: Suh, Steve Entman, Orlando Pace, and Hugh Green) How did I find out about it? Twitter.
School was closed for 3 days. How did I find out about closings and weather reports without even having to get up off my ass and go to my computer? Twitter.

And, because I'm such a giver, I'm going to put a link in the right-hand column for my Twitter feed.

There...I feel better.

The Slide Begins....

2009-12-11T09:00:00.000-06:00

A glimpse into my morning:

4:45am - Hit snooze button
4:52am - Turn off alarm and go downstairs
5:00am - Sit in my basement blankly staring at the TV with my iPod on and my shoes in front of me.
5:02am - Decide that it's too damn cold and too damn early to run on my rickety-ass treadmill.
5:03am - Tell myself that I'm going to run after school on a less rickety-ass treadmill.
5:05am - Crawl back into my bed.
5:30am - Restart my day

Oh yeah, pre-marathon training is going well.

Someone or something better kick me in the ass soon or this is going to get worse. Much worse. I know the pattern. I've lived the pattern. Up next: getting rid of those pesky Oreo truffles that are cluttering up my fridge. Mmmmmm......Oreo truffles.

Blinking Cursor of Doom

2009-12-10T10:35:00.001-06:00

I know you've all missed me. I can tell by your writing. I'm here, just chillin' out....JUST LIKE THE WEATHER! Like the pun?

If you can't tell, I'm suffering from RazZDoodle, or, for those relatively new to ROATM....Writer's Block. Unlike some people, I feel like I have an obligation to my loyal readers. That, and I'm waiting for Apple, Mizuno, and Under Armour to email me to review their WONDERFUL PRODUCTS! Can't do that if I don't have fresh content.

Here were some possible posts but just didn't come to fruition:

The Big XII Championship game - If they don't kick the damn ball out of bounds on the kickoff and....AND...commit a mind-bogglingly stupid horse-collar penalty in the closing minutes, the Huskers go to Phoenix. Simple as that. Forget the :01 controversy.
Tiger Woods Post- Too easy. I could spin off of Ian's "Guess Who's Running?" series with a "Guess Who Tiger's Screwiing?" series. Porn stars, Eldrick? Really?
My Running Post- If there's something to write about me running twice a week, I'd do it.
The Weather Post - It's cold and snowy. I live in the Midwest and it's December. Nothing too novel there. I am considering putting screws in an old pair shoes to run in the snow. There's potential for a twisted ankle and/or puncture wounds. Now THERE'S some material!
Christmas List Post - Unless you're genuinely going shopping for me, do you really care? That's what I thought.

So that's it. Much like the previous blockage, I hope to write through it or weep uncontrollably in the corner of my room.

Off the Fence

2009-11-30T10:22:00.001-06:00

For about a month now, I've been dropping hints here on ROATM that I'm considering running another marathon. I appreciate all of your encouragem-.....oh wait, none of you did that. Regardless, I'm pretty much off the fence on this one:

I'm going to run the 2010 Lincoln Marathon.

It's flat, it's fast (like that matters), and it's close to home. That last part will be pretty important. As much as I loved Phoenix, the potential to have even more family and friends throughout the course is pretty motivating. Of course, it's a big assumption that friends and family will do that, but still....

If I go by the 16 week training schedule, my official training starts in mid-December. So, between now and mid-January, I have to get into pre-training mode. As it stands, pre-training mode consists of 3 runs and at least 3 days of cross training. Oddly enough, I'd like my official training to be the pretty much the same. I'm going to take a chunk of the FIRST training plan, a heaping portion of the McMillan Running Calculator and sprinkle in a little Razz flavor that did me so well in my sub-5 hour marathon. I hope to get to the starting line healthy and ready to go.

The tricky part will be in the beginning of March. That's when high school golf starts and that's when I get busy hitting the links....er.....coaching. And, in order to coach effectively, I have to play with the kids. That, in turn, requires walking. A LOT of walking. I'd say about at least 10 miles per week of walking.

A goal, you ask? Oh...I have a goal. I just won't go into that just yet. I'll drop you a hint: it's to beat my 4:57:14 time in Phoenix.

Sign up starts bright and early tomorrow. I'm not saying I'm signing up tomorrow, just that it does....and it's looming.

Turkeys Rule!

2009-11-25T06:46:00.015-06:00

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and, without question, this is the best holiday of the calendar year. Some of you would argue Christmas, but you would be wrong. Here's why:

Food. Food. More food. Not only that, but it's the best kind of food...comfort food. Sure, Christmas has food, but how many Food Network specials are devoted to leftover Christmas food? Zilch. That, and each Christmas meal differs (roast, prime rib, ham, turkey, etc.) Thanksgiving? Turkey. That's it. Fry it, grill it, roast it. Doesn't matter.
Booze. Beer, wine, and/or mixed drinks. None of that Egg Nog with spiced rum crap.
You don't have to worry about presents, Christmas cards, etc. All you have to worry about is eating and drinking to excess on Thursday.
For many of us, it's a guaranteed 4-day weekend every year. When Christmas is, say, on a Tuesday, many of us have to go back to work the next day. Not me (ha! ha!), but some people do......
Let's look at the TV schedule, shall we? Thanksgiving Day - 3 NFL games. (the Lions are still an NFL team, right?) Friday - College football rivalry games. Saturday - More rivalry games. Sunday - NFL games. Monday - Monday Night Football. By my count that's 5 straight days of football. Christmas? One NFL game and a handful of meaningless NBA games. As opposed to meaningful NBA games.
Turkey Trots all over the country tomorrow morning. Christmas? Not as many because of the whole "opening presents" thing. Speaking of Turkey Trots...my mom is going to do her first one tomorrow in Phoenix. I'm very excited for her and more than a little nervous. See...she has NO cartilage in one of her knees. None. Not an ounce of it. So, instead of bowing out when she hears that news from her doctor, she still intends to do it. Typical. Stop on over to her blo g and wish her good luck! Her latest post pretty much exemplifies every Thanksgiving we had from 1986 - 2000

Thanksgiving rules, Christmas drools. So sayeth Razz.....Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Oh, about that wager. It kind of died on the vine. I suggested singing the winner's fight song on the podcast. XC2 suggested face tattoos (WTF?) and Ian said he'd forgo the spread. We agreed, though, that the jersey thing had been played out (no link). I'm just chalking this up to another NU victory. Sidenote - For the past 3 meetings in Boulder a coach has been fired (Solich, Barnett, Callahan). Looks like that streak will continue this year.

Editor's Note

2009-11-24T09:32:00.000-06:00

I've gotten more than a few comments about how I'm moderating comments here on ROATM.

I'm not.

I tweaked the settings due to a "comment" from Friday's post from someone promoting their Asian porn website. After spending about 45 minutes on their site, I realized that they probably weren't runners. Well, I assume they weren't. I don't read any asian languages.

I apologize for the mix-up. Feel free to comment away on this or future posts.

Weekend Odds and Ends

2009-11-23T08:41:00.001-06:00

Lessons learned/observations from the weekend:

Nebraska Cornhuskers = Big XII North champs. Thanks for playing everyone. I know that lately winning the North is like getting an F+, but it's better than staying (CU) home (ISU) during (KU) the holidays (KSU). More on my Beloved Cornhuskers later on.
The Nebraska game made me feel really old. From the time I arrived at our tailgate to the time I left, I felt ancient. Even our usual halftime hangout was inflitrated by whippersnappers. Don't they have a frat to trash or sheep to molest?
The topper of the evening was when I got into an argument with a very drunk, alleged-NU "athlete" bitching about the wrong section she was stumbling into. My response: "I've had these seats for over 10 years, blah blah blah....." All I need now is a rocking chair, a shotgun, and a propensity to yell "Geet off of mah land!" Perfect.
Speaking of age, at what point is wearing the baseball hat backwards not acceptable for guys? 30? 35? I saw a father of 2 sporting the backwards KSU hat at the store this weekend. Douche.
*GEEK ALERT* TweetDeck. Best thing ever.
0 runs in the last week. Zero. Na da. And after this weekend's gorgefest, something has to be done about it. 3 runs per week, at least 2 days of cross. Consider this my pre-training routine before I attempt....gulp....my next marathon.
Back to the Big XII North champs. They have a pesky little game this Friday with Colorado. CU considers this a rivalry game whereas NU considers this a necessary evil. Those Buffs fans are so cute! They win a couple of games in the 90's, and now it's a rivalry. OK.....Anywho, I contacted these yahoos for a little wager this week. One of them was down for it. The other one hasn't committed, but did manage to throw in some snide remarks about my timing of the whole thing. Determine for yourself who did what.

That's all for now. There will be a wager post later this week.....well, at least 2 of us will be wagering.

BOTR - Episode 5/SSTIFY Friday

2009-11-20T05:59:00.007-06:00

We finally got around to that pesky little podcast that we produce from time to time. I blame Amy's pregnancy. We all took maternity leave. Regardless, we took time out of our busy lives this week to entertain you. Well, at least Ian (out!), Amy and I did. Mike (still in closet!) had some lame-ass "some guy is painting my house" excuse. Yeah, I always have my painting guy come in and paint in the 10pm EST range. Yeah.

Not surprisingly, we ramble a little bit. I'm still a little groggy from the late-night feedings and my nipples hurt something fierce. I don't know what the hell Amy and Ian's excuses are, but we all sucked it up (pun intended) to give you Banned on the Run, Episode 6? (I couldn't remember what episode number we were on and I was too lazy to check. Hence the question mark at the end of the title. Normally, it's Mike's job to fact-check). Oh, be sure to stick around/fast forward to the end. There's a contest that we need everyone to participate in.

On to the SSTIFY...first off, thanks for all the emails on suggesting a song this week. And when I say "all", I mean "none". Suckholes.

This one came to me JUST under the wire. For those of you younger than 30....maybe even 35, the song will probably have no relevance. For those of you who do remember the theme song to this show, it just goes to show that ABC used to broadcast just about anything. This song was used on the show The Greatest American Hero and, from what I remember about the plot, there was this reluctant superhero that looked like a poor man's version of Willie Ames (if that's possible). He couldn't fly worth a shit, but he still managed to fight crime. Hilarity ensued. A quick look on IMDB.com reveals that this series lasted 3 years. WTF? Side Note- I am the king of 80's and 90's TV trivia. The king. How sexy is that, ladies?

I dare you to get this out of your head. I. Dare. You.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Effin' Athlete

2009-11-19T08:45:00.000-06:00

Since I've been teaching, I've been called a lot of things ranging from "effing awesome*" to "effing douchebag" and everything in between. Over the years, I've learned to take it all in stride because both ends of the spectrum are fast fleeting. What one of my students called me last week, though, threw me for a loop:

Athlete

"You know...because you run a lot. You're like, an athlete."

Um, excuse me? I consider myself to be a lot of things, but "athlete" has never been one of them. I thought about it. Hell, I even looked up the definition:

ATH-leet (n)- Any one trained to contend in exercises requiring great physical agility and strength; one who has great activity and strength; a champion.

OK, I'm about 2/3 of that definition. I train to contend. Contend in what, per se, is debatable, but I do have great activity. I am NOT a champion. Well, at least not in the "go stand on the podium, here's your medal" sort of champion. Regardless, I'm going to go with the label of "athlete" from here on out. Now, what do they do? How do they act? Do I need to develop a swagger? Should I wear sweats and running shoes to work? Maybe I should wear my Oakleys indoors. Wow, this being an athlete thing is wayy hard. I think I liked it better when I was an effing douchebag.

By the way, the aforementioned student now has a permanent "A" in my class.

Editor's Note - Of course I construct this post before my running has waved "bye bye" to me. If I'm lucky, I'll get one run in this week, hopefully on Saturday. That in and of itself could be an adventure. Don't worry...I'm still calling myself an athlete.

Editor's Note 2 - This week's SSTIFY entry needs to be reader-driven. I've got one that's been in my head, but I'm always willing to take suggestions. Email me. I'll link to your blog and everything!

*seriously, I've heard "effin' awesome". I'm sure of it.

Razz Goes to Washington

2009-11-16T10:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm back and so are all of the kids. Victory! We had a minor incident (hotel room dance party), but overall it was success. I should be getting caught up from missing 3 days of school and 5 days total. Instead, I'm willing to share my Washington D.C. experience:

First off, the infamous Group Run. Well, only 2 girls (out of 7) made it in the lobby at 6am. It was 45 degrees, 25mph winds, and rain. Lots and lots of rain. So there they are...in long sleeve hoodies and shorts. Uh uh. They ain't running. Neither was I for that matter. After about 3 miles on the hotel treadmill, I thought, "Uh, maybe I should end my run here at 3 miles. There may be some walking involved and I'll definitely be getting miles in that way. After a 1/2 hour on Gmaps Pedometer, I calculated 10 miles of walking for the trip.
The last day of our trip? 70 degrees and sunny. Of course it is!
Kids don't converse anymore. They text and they're on Facebook. They don't even email that much and a phone conversation is for emergencies only. I even got a text from a student AND WE WERE IN THE SAME VAN. Now granted, the text was to tell me that our driver's gas light was on from Dulles to the airport, but still......
Since we had so many kids, I was in charge of half of them. All girls. Good lord. One night, plans fell through and I punted and we went to the mall. I was dreading it, but I figured they were safe, content, contained, and I could ditch them for a good 2 hours. Also, with 13 girls and one adult, I got some choice looks around town.
I was at the hotel bar one afternoon....having chicken fingers and NOT a Sam Adams, ahem!....and I overheard a creepy conversation. It involved the words "bedsheet" "genitalia" and "group". I shit you not. I will put my next paycheck on the fact that the couple wasnt't married, but they did manage to have rings on. When I left, they were doing shots and I heard the lady say, "I love Knob!" I hope to god she was talking about whiskey.
Counting to 28 gets real tiring, real fast. Especially when they move around.
I'm officially addicted to my Blackberry. I was getting scores (GBR, baby!), chatting via email, reading articles, etc. And, because the kids communicate via text, I got really proficient with the keyboard. I even referred to some blogs for some beer advice.
I still would rather have an iPhone, though. Curse you AT&T!

Finally, I was proud of my students. They got shut out in the Best of Show category which determines the best student broadcasts in the country, BUT they cleaned up in the individual categories (e.g. - Best News Story, Best In-Camera Feature, etc.). It was pretty awesome to see the look of excitement and validation for all of their hard work. You know what that is? Good half-assed teaching.

P.S. - Being the uber-geek that I am, I am test-driving Google Wave right now and I have 3 more invites. Email me and let me know if you're interested. If there's more than 3, I may have some sort of giveaway.

DC running plans....FOILED

2009-11-10T09:59:00.001-06:00

This just happened this morning....

STUDENT 1: Hey Raz, are you going to run while we're in DC?
ME: (hesitant) Uh, yeah. Why?
STUDENT 1: How long are you going to go?
ME: (now knowing where this is going) Well, I was going to get a 5 miler in on Thursday and then probably 10 miles Saturday morning.
STUDENT 1: What time are you going to run?
ME: Probably about 6am. Why?
STUDENT 1: Well, my basketball coach wants me to do some conditioning while I'm gone.
STUDENT 2: Yeah, my swimming coach said I should do the same thing. What time are you going?
STUDENT 1: Raz said 6am.
STUDENT 3: You guys are going to run? I should do that!
STUDENT 4: Me too! What time are we going?
STUDENT 1: 6am
STUDENT 5: What days?
ME: (now banging my head up against a wall) Thursday and Saturday.
STUDENT 1: How long is it to the White House and back?
ME: I don't know....8 miles, I think.
ALL: Sweet!

Shit. shit shit shit shit shit. So much for a little quiet time from the little buggers.

I should've said 5am.

Either I let them run with me or they go off on their own and I've got to identify body parts hours later. *sigh*

Is it Capitol or Capital?

2009-11-09T09:16:00.002-06:00

In 48 hours, yours truly will be on a Southwest flight bound for our nation's capital. Oh, plus 28 of my closest students. It's the annual National High School Journalism Conference where 5000 of the top student journalists converge to piss off about 300 of the top journalism teachers. Yeah!

The 2 things I'll check out when I get to the hotel:

What are the best running routes?
Is the hotel bar conveniently located and hidden from curious students? Don't ever underestimate the location of the bar.

This is the 7 trip to the convention and the 4th city in which I have incorporated running into my itinerary. A brief reflection if you will:

Nashville - A surprisingly fun town. I had relatively low expectations for Music City, USA, but the people were exceptionally nice and there was a lot more to do than listen to country music. My run was around the Opryland Resort....one lap = 4.1 miles. No kidding. This hotel/compound was mammoth.
Philadelphia - Great city with a lot of history. Duh. We did the touristy stuff complete with sucking down more than one cheesesteak. I had to do my run to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. There was a collection of Van Gogh's work that I wanted to see. Ha! I just wanted to run the steps a la Rocky. Cheesy? Hell yeah. As cheesy as one of these bad boys:

mmmmmmm....

St. Louis - Blech. That's the best thing I can say about this town. There's one thing to look at and I ran around it about 5 times to get my miles in because I was competing in the Garmin Challenge. You can read about it here, but here's a synopsis: River wall on the left, dumps on the right, and a quick jaunt into East St. Louis, Illinois. Ladies and gentlemen, The Gateway to the West!

My hopes are high for D.C. I've never been there. Usually the first reaction I get is, "You've never been to D.C.????" My response is, "No. I though I was pretty clear the first time I made that statement, jackhole." Some people. But I digress.....

The weather looks good for a couple of runs. I've packed the gear although I think the running tights are staying home. I don't think my students and/or colleagues need to see all of that awesomeness so early in the morning. Like I said, we're leaving with 30 and, if we come back with 28 or more, I'm going to consider that a win. I mean, that's a 93% return rate. I'd say that's pretty damn good.

Wish me luck! I hope to post something while I'm there. I'm clearing out the memory card so that I can get some good pics/evidence.

SSTIFY Friday

2009-11-06T08:28:00.000-06:00

Nothing is stuck in my head save for a few pounds of mucus. I'm battling a nasty head cold and I think that with a few forceful coughs and sneezes, all of it will break up and spew forth.

I hope that you're all reading this during breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

So, to review, nothing is stuck in my head and none of you are willing to help me. That's right...none of you are willing to help me with my lack of a SSTIFY. *self-deprecating rim shot!*

Never fear, I'll throw out an oldie but a goodie:

Weem-a-way, indeed. Have a good weekend everyone!

Twitter Still Sucks.....

2009-11-04T09:31:00.000-06:00

....as does my ability to write a complete blog post:

Failblog.org and Facebook Fails. I wholeheartedly endorse bookmarking these blogs. They've kept me entertained for a few weeks now.
Speaking of Facebook, I have my own personal policy about students (current or graduated) asking me to be their friend. My policy: No Way In Hell. I got request from a student who graduated last year. Funny thing is she hated me, hated my class, didn't do a damn thing in my class, and went out of her way to let everyone know (including teachers, duh) how much of an asshole/bad teacher I was. Yeah, let's be friends now.
This week is apparently turning into Passive Agressive Week here at school. One kid just sat and moped at me for 5 minutes while I was grading papers. Didn't say a word...for 5. Minutes. I didn't think passive agressiveness had a sound to it, but it does. It begins with a heavy sigh.
I ran 3 miles this morning at an 8:15/mile pace. I was gassed. What the hell? There's no WAY I've lost that much fitness in 3 weeks is there?
I'm off to Washington D.C. next week for a journalism convention and I'm researching running routes while I'm there. We're staying a little north of The Mall. Rock Creek Park south to the Mall looks like my route. Is it safe or am I going to be another Chandra Levy?
About D.C. - we're taking 28 kids. Our goal is to return with at least 26.
I don't know why I do fantasy football. I think I get way too invested in it. I mean, consider that on Sundays, my life is hec-GODDAMNIT CARSON PALMER! HOW DO YOU HAVE THE GAME OF A LIFETIME LAST WEEK? HOW????? I need another hobby.

Odds and Ends

2009-11-02T15:59:00.000-06:00

Twitter sucks.

I'm a geek. I'm pretty sure that's been well-established, but I'm not buying into this phenomenon. Oh, I've tried to, but it just isn't the same. The popular complaint is, "Why would I want to know about how you went to the grocery store?" Of course, these are the same clever philosophers that inundate my Facebook account with farming/mafia/jeweled crap that is even making Facebook annoying. For me, I'll stick with emails and blogging, thankyouverymuch. I'll stick with my version of Twitter: Bullet Points!

Some observations from the weekend:

Well, at least Nebraska's special teams can score. This weekend's game (vs. Oklahoma) could be brutal. Thank God it's on prime time.
Hawks....9-0. "Nuff said.
What's the cutoff age for trick or treating? 12? I think if "-teen" or "-ty" is attached to your age, you should hang up the plastic pumpkin. It should be the same age as when you stop bringing your glove to a baseball game.
I supervised the kids and their trick or treat exploits over at a friends house this Saturday....complete with a fully stocked rolling cooler. The best part? We weren't the only ones! It was like a neighborhood block party for the kids and the adults. Who the hell said that chocolate and booze don't mix? I'm on my way to Parent of the Year. I can just feel it.
After my long run on Sunday, I open the door to a naked 2 1/2 year old wearing only his socks and running shoes. "Run, daddy? Run?" Ah, kids....
I cannot stress the importance of stretching and hydrating oneself after a long run, people. I neglected to do both this weekend and I felt like I got hit by a truck.
I'm convinced that Starbucks is slowly shrinking their drinks. And I'm not happy.

That's it for now.

SSTIFY - The Antichrist is Still a Good Babysitter

2009-10-30T06:15:00.022-05:00

I'm pretty sure the Bible states that Barney is actually Satan. It's probably in Leviticus. I never got around to that book in my Saturday night Bible Study, so...yeah...Leviticus. Oh well, he's still a better babysitter than I am. At least the purple Beelzebub can keep my kid still for more than 30 seconds.

My son is obsessed with Barney. I can deal with most of the kids crap that's on TV. Thomas the Train? Fine. Sesame Street? Long live Ernie and his "roommate" Bert. I can even live with the 4 guys from Australia that wear brightly colored shirts and have a knack of getting songs jammed into adults' heads. Not only that, but their net worth is that of a 3rd world country. Ladies and gentlemen, The Wiggles!

So KidDoodle2 and I are watching The Wiggles one morning and he (my son) is pissed off. I mean Pissed. Off. Barney is nowhere to be seen. I tell him I needed a break from that overly animated, cherubic piece of purple felt and the brainwashed kids that follow him around like some sort of deity. His response?

"Watch Barney!"

As we're having this argument, this week's SSTIFY entry comes on the show. KidDoodle2 is mesmerized and, for 3 minutes and 34 seconds, he forgets about Barney. The following is not a Wiggles Original, but it should be recognizable....even for the youngins who read this blog.

These guys creep me the hell out. Especially the purple one. He's a narcoleptic on the show. Just falls asleep for no reason. That's his "thing". Really? REALLY? My God...this is what we're teaching our children. There is a female dancer in this video, however, that should be more prominent in the show from here on out (:47 in, on the left). That aside, I still can't get this damn song out of my head. Here it is:

Good luck to Laura and Lam this Sunday in New York! For everyone else, have a happy and safe Halloween everyone!

Redemption?

2009-10-27T08:08:00.002-05:00

Remember when I said that ROATM was going to be more about running? Yeah, I don't pay that much attention either. I suppose me flipping off my laptop camera is going to be as varied as it gets. With story deadlines looming, though, I'm bound to either snap or write about it.

With KidDoodle 1 being sick today, I find myself with about 6 tabs open in Firefox....most of them dealing with running. Before you question my parenting skills, she's watching Dinner Impossible: Sesame Street. She's content, so leave me alone.

Anywho, I still have that personal asterisk floating around my one and only marathon. I think, I THINK that it's time for redemption. According to McMillan's running calculator (thanks B.o.B. for adding another tab), I could run a marathon in 3:49:24 and a half marathon in 1:48:46.

Well, that would be impressive, wouldn't it?

The Lincoln Marathon would be the race for me to do it, too. It's a flat, fast course and it's a well-run race. In fact, it's one of the best race experiences I've had. The drawback to all of this is training in the winter. 'Round here, that sort of thing s-u-c-k-s. Ice, wind, cold rain, etc. equals a few treadmill training runs. Ugh.

So there I have it. Lincoln Marathon. It's out there. It's a possibility. I just need to move back to Phoenix to do my training.

P.S. - I want to thank everyone for sharing in my pain in yesterday's post. My administrators are looking into it. Thanks. So. Much.

Expletive Expletive Expletive

2009-10-26T11:41:00.001-05:00

I'm going to make this quick. Kind of like ripping off a band aid. I have to approve 25 stories in 3 days, so I may actually have to put my teaching certificate to use this week.

Nebraska got beat.
Nebraska got embarassed.
Nebraska can't hang on to the damn ball.

What's worse is I bet this guy that NU would cover (18 points). You would think I'd have learned my lesson from betting Vanilla last year.* Lesson learned? I'm an idiot.

It's a good thing I enjoy Adam's blog because I can't stand his team on 2 levels: I'm a Husker fan and a Hawkeye fan (8-0 baby!!!!!). Why is it that the 'Clones' fight song sounds like the Girl Scouts theme song? Oh well...never let it be said I welch on bets. The bet was that the loser needed to make a sign and post it on their blog. I went Photoshop on ya:

Yeah, I'm still a little bitter.

*curiously, I can't find the link to that picture. Huh.

SSTIFY - Sporadic Inspiration Came Early!

2009-10-23T06:06:00.001-05:00

We're all familiar with the phenomenon. One of your friends, 99% of the time female, screams "LET'S DO KARAOKE!" With trepidation, you figure that you can get really drunk and watch people make fools of themselves.

5 Cuervo shots later, you're grabbing the microphone from a guy who, in your alcohol-fueled opinion, just mutilated "Unchained Melody".

Which brings me to this week's interactive SSTIFY: What is the best karaoke song of all time? I'm not asking what song YOU like to sing, but what is the one song that everyone in the bar sings. I mean, everyone. There's been some debate on this in some of the circles I run in*. Here are some that we came up with. Feel free to add any in the comments box:

First on the playlist:

I chose the scene from Beautiful Girls because it represents the essence of what I'm trying to do here. That, and Uma Thurman is hot. At the very least, if you aren't singing the "bah bah BAHHH" part, you have no soul.

Next up:

A quick YouTube search for this song gave me more karaoke versions than the actual version. Coincidence? I think not.

Thirdly, this was offered up:

OK, then.

Have a good weekend everyone!

* Look! I made a running reference!

New Crap, Better Wrapper

2009-10-22T10:15:00.001-05:00

If you haven't noticed, I've got me some new digs here at ROATM. It was time for a change. I don't know if this will necessarily kick me in the ass to blog more, but at least it's different.

As I wrote previously, I don't know how much more I can write consistently decent stuff about running. I envy those that can...and those people should know who they are. Some would argue that they are still waiting for my decent stuff (the same aforementioned people). Either way, I'm stickin' around in the blogosphere. It's too much damn fun. Most of the posts probably won't be about running, but I'd be remiss if I didn't throw one in now and again.

So what am I going to write about? Who the hell knows? Probably random crap that goes on in my warped little world. Tomorrow's post will be fun AND interactive.*

I can guarantee at least one thing:

I'll still use bullet points.

Happy reading!

P.S. - I'm going under the assumption that any of you really give a s**t about all of this. That's a big assumption.

Editor's Note - If someone can tell me how to change these damn yellow checkmarks back to bullets, please let me know.
*that is what we call a "tease" in the business.

State of the Blog Report

2009-10-20T10:45:00.014-05:00

This is easily my favorite time of year. The leaves are changing. The air is brisk. My beloved college football team takes a giant dump on their home field. Ahh…the sites, sounds, and smells of fall. Save for a few fun runs, it also means the end of my racing season which, in turn, leads me to reflect.

I think I can sum up the 2009 running season with this tired cliché: Quality over quantity.

It was a very eventful year on the road for me. In January, I completed my first marathon. I still have an asterisk by it due to my IT band issues. It’s all very wonderful for a lot of you to say “hey, you finished” in the comments box (yes, I went back and checked), but the asterisk remains.

I PR’d in a few races, which is good. I did some speedwork over the summer, but not as consistently as I would've liked. For some reason on race day, though, I had a fire under my ass. Yay me.

I always wanted to run a relay and I did that and plan to do it again next year.

So what’s on tap for 2010 you all ask? I don’t rightly know just now. Should I work on speed and, thusly, new PRs? Should I set “more races” as a goal? I’ve got some ideas rattling around in my head like that ball bearing they use in spray paint cans.

As for ROATM, I’ve noticed that, as my training goes, so goes the blog. Since I’m not in any sort of training, who knows what you all will get from me? Maybe I could write about how cold it is or why it sucks to run on a treadmill. Been there. Done that. I’m not calling this a blog hiatus, per se, and I’m not leaving. Been there, done that, too. Maybe we'll just call it "sporadic inspiration". Yeah, I like that.

I leave you with a link about blogging. It’s a pretty interesting take on the medium. There are a lot of big words. Even I had to look some up, but I highly recommend it if you want to look like you’re doing research at work (translation: no pictures) or you have 8 hours of Parent-Teacher conference to kill.

Andrew Sullivan, Why I Blog, The Atlantic, November 2008

SSTIFY - Paper Slippers and an Orange Jumpsuit

2009-10-16T06:59:00.005-05:00

It's been a week since the relay and I haven't done a damn thing. Well, that's not true. Parent/Teacher conferences were this week. Tedious, creepy and bizarre all at the same time.

I have tried like a mofo to get this song out of my head all week. I even googled "omaha" and "labotomy", but didn't get much. Not even a picture of yours truly (thought I'd beat you all to the punch on that one).

Well, well, well....Ms. Cyrus ain't Hannah Montana anymore, huh? I imagine mom sphincters throughout suburbia collectively clenched after watching this video.