Running Off at the Mind

Rearing My Beautiful Head

2012-05-14T11:36:00.001-05:00

There are a few of things you can usually expect from me:

Me leaving the blogosphere for months at a time
Me saying I'm considering a marathon
Me saying I'm going to blog more
Ian getting another free set of shoes

I'm back! From about mid-March until about now, I actually have to DO stuff. Not only that, but my wife has adopted this "our kids aren't going to sit on their ass and play on the iPad all day" policy at our house. Apparently, this policy was adopted while I was in an intense game of Draw Something! Because of this policy, Kid 1 and Kid 2 have been hitting the hardwood or the soccer field.

I'm serious when I say this: I love my kids. I do. But they are hindered by their parents' genetics when it comes to team sports. I got one kid working on her dance moves while waiting her turn to practice her serve and I got another making grass angels while he's on the field.

Halfway done! Not bored yet!

They are interested in one thing, though and that's running. I've signed them up for a local race on Memorial Day. Kid 1 is going to do the mile and Kid 2 is going to do the 400m. AND THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE IT, DAMNIT!

We've already been to the track to practice. Kid 2 gets bored about about 300m and Kid 1 can run 2 decent 800m's. That gives me hope. Another thing that gives me hope is that she's got some decent form. She's made to be a runner. I can see the scholarships rolling in now! She said this morning that her legs hurt from yesterday. I quickly reminded her that she didn't stretch and probably needed new shoes. She was all about the latter. Much like her father.

*****

Yes, I'm still considering that whole marathon thing. Not financially committed to one yet, but "considering" is better than "dropping to the half". Niki is pushing for it and Ian and Adam have fully committed to making fun of me. So I have that going for me.

*****

I've got a couple things to maybe, possibly write about:

I started a running club. Sort of.
My Local Track: Cheap Babysitter
Running for All the Wrong Reasons

*****

Really Ian. Really?

*****

Uh, when did Google/Blogger decide that everything should look like Google Docs? Don't like it. Don't like it one bit.

Breathless

2012-02-20T09:57:00.000-06:00

When people asked my why I run, I told them all the right answers. Because I want to be in shape, I love a challenge, etc. And, for the most part, those reasons were true. The main reason I ran is to relieve stress. More specifically, I needed to manage my anxiety attacks.

Some people call them "panic" attacks, but I'm going to use "anxiety". Sounds less psychotic.

I used to get these attacks about twice a year. I could practically set my watch to it: once in October and once in March. And, get this, it was always when my life slowed down. One would think that the opposite would be true. Well, when have I ever been normal? Amiright?

My life is go go go just like everyone else's. 2 kids, a career that lends itself to working outside school hours, coaching, etc. People do it all the time but, apparently, when I'm sitting on my ass watching a basketball game, that's where things get nutty.

Essentially, it feels as though someone is sitting on my chest. Let me be more specific: it feels like a 325 lb lineman that just went through an all-you-can-eat buffet is sitting on my chest. I can't get a breath. Not only that, but I get really pissy. Like "I haven't had coffee in 48 hours" pissy, so yeah...the family is loving this. Once I can't breathe, then I get stressed out about not being able to breathe and the nasty cycle begins and I'm out of commission until it subsides. Yay.

After doctor consults and a lot of hours of Interwebs research, here are my options:

Medication - No thanks. I told my doctor no medication because I didn't want to take a Xanax and be useless the rest of the day. My doctor, who completely understood, argued "are you any better trying to catch your breath the entire day?" Touche, doc. No drugs, though. I want to have the option of being able to operate heavy machinery if need be. Crane? Sno-Cat? Zamboni?
Therapy - Uh...nah. I tried that. Not my thing. The therapist was nice enough, but she was stumped as to why I'd get attacks while I was doing nothing. Not a good sign. That and, ironically, I have no time to go see someone once a week.
Yoga/Mediation - I think this is my best option. I can get exercise and practice breathing techniques. The problem? It's pretty damn expensive. It's that or therapy, I suppose.
Running - Oh yeah, I could go running. Here's the thing, though. I can't run. Once the attack has subsided (about 36-48 hours), I can run...on a treadmill. I went running outside last weekend and could barely make 2 miles...and that was with walking.

Regardless of my lack of running, I know that the combination of that and yoga will get me out of this. It's just that I have to get back to that point of where I'm at least running 3 times/week. Due to my own laziness, though, that just isn't happening. It's either be lazy or go through this personal hell. I need to get out and run. I need to meditate and do yoga. It's my only option. Well, at least the only option that I'm 100% comfortable with.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm not fishing for comments or looking for attention. I think I'm doing it because it's one of the best ways I deal with things. I write about them.

In summary, the goal is more exercise and more meditation. And we all hope for the best.

Race Report

2012-01-31T08:31:00.000-06:00

I never know how to start these race reports...especially virtual ones. That said, I was honored that I was allowed to sign up for this year's Freeze Your Thorns Off 5K from esteemed blogger, Adam.

That said, my race sucked. In fact, my entire week of running sucked.

The worst part is is that I have no one to blame. The weather set up nicely, I had a great route, etc. I'm just not in running shape. Let me qualify that:

I'm not in 5 mile shape.

Admittedly, I've been away from true running for awhile. 2 runs per week...at most...is not going to cut it if I even want to think about running a marathon for my 40th birthday. I need to get off of the stick, turn off my alarm when it goes off early in the morning and get out there.

I know you all expect witty banter and exceptional writing here at ROATM, but today ain't happening. First things first, 3 runs in a week and I'm back to blogging. Maybe then, I'll have something to write about.

Congratulations to all participants in the FYTO5K and thanks to Adam to setting it up.

5K - 25:45

So What Do I Have to Do Now?

2012-01-27T10:53:00.000-06:00

Xenia tagged me and I'm out of running ideas, so:

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this’. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

Hey look! I've already accomplished #1! Yay me!

Part 2:

I won't wear shoes in my house. Drives me nuts.
I like wine, but it always gives me a wicked hangover the next day. 1 glass, 5 glasses...doesn't matter. I'm paying for it the next day.
I'll take a tailgate over a sit-down dinner every time.
I afraid of snakes. I'll walk over my own children to get away from one.
The Godfather is the best movie of all time.
I can't leave mail unopened in my email box. Drives me nuts.
I normally hate confrontation. Unless it's with a student.
Finding 11 of these things is incredibly difficult.
I'm the watermelon eating champion of the 1986 Iowa State Golf Camp (how's THAT for random?)
I decided to move to Arizona one night at a Omaha Lancers hockey game and, a month later, I had an apartment in Tempe.
When I die, I want to be buried with my Ben Hogan sand wedge.

Part 3:

1. Which movie/tv show/character most resembles your life? Conan O'Brien

2. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? Sometimes you just have bad runs. Some days are good, some days are bad, but at least you're running.

3. What was your ultimate dipshit moment (so far)? I'm not much of a dipshit, so.....

4. Marry, f*ck or kill: choose either group – (a) Val Kilmer (current, not young version), Kevin Federline and Russell Brand; (b) Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. Did you want me to answer from Column B? I hope so. Marry - Kim Kardashian (lesser of 3 evils). They're still loaded, right? F*ck - Uhhh....which one has less STDs? Paris? Hopefully, she uses less needles. Kill - Lindsay. Process of elimination.

5. Which country would you most likely be arrested in and/or shot at and why? Ireland. Drunk and disorderly.

6. Which person (alive or dead) would you most want to bitchslap? If by "bitchslap" you mean "castrate with a rusty spoon" then that would be Jerry Sandusky.

7. Which special talent or skill do you wish you had? Play guitar

8. Who or what would you consider to be your archenemy? Ian. No idea why. Just Ian.

9. Pop or soda? Pop. Nebraska represent!

10. What’s your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving. Booze, food and football. And not necessarily in that order.

11. How would you prefer the apocalypse to go down? If we're going down, I want fire, brimstone and all that shit. I want God/Jesus/Allah/Brigham Young/Elvis to lay all the cards out and tell as what's up.

My Questions:

Right handed or left handed?
Favorite TV show?
Starbucks order?
Biggest running pet peeve?
Mac or PC?
What is one guilty pleasure on your iPod?
Will the world end in 2012? How?
What's the most illegal thing you've done?
What's the last book you read?
What's the last app you downloaded?
Write your own question and answer it. (sorry, that's the "lazy teacher" way of asking questions)

I don't KNOW 11 people that are consistently writing anymore. So......anyone that's still reading this, consider yourself tagged.

Subscribe to This?

2012-01-23T11:23:00.001-06:00

January is a busy month in the Razz household. More specifically, this is where we hit up family and friends for money. You know, for the kids. Two things seem to eat our soul this month:

Girl Scout Cookie sales
Magazine sales

First off, Girl Scout cookies are the easiest damn thing to sell. You don't sell them, per se. You essentially fulfill the role of pseudo-drug dealer in the scenario. I've never set foot in that underworld so all of the following assumptions that I make are solely based upon watching numerous episodes of Law and Order: Ah Screw It, We've Run Out of Police Departments.

The following are just some of the statements made by my daughter's clientelle:

"Oh, I already have a girl that I buy from."
"Oh, thank God your daughter is selling them this year. I need 10 boxes of thin mints. Now."
"Please don't forget me next year when she's selling them again. Please, please, PLEASE don't forget me!"
"Are you still selling them? ARE YOU STILL SELLING THEM?"

The best part is is that Girl Scouts USA changed their sales strategy. Rather than wait 6 weeks for your cookies, we now have them on hand. Read that last sentence again. Needless to say, our friends, family and co-workers are sufficiently tweaked.

And, after our clients are in a Thin Mint haze, we hit them up for magazine orders. All proceeds go to our daughter's school, so your order of Guns 'n Ammo is for the children.

This year, I find myself at a crossroads: do I re-up for another year of Runners World or not? I can't remember the last time I got anything beneficial out of the magazine. The way I see it, I can count on 3 articles:

Run Your First 5K...Fast!
3 Core Exercises That Will Make You Run Fast!
What to Do About Injuries...Fast!

I think my favorite article was about recovering from a 20 mile run and the author suggested, among other things:

Take an ice bath
Take the rest of the day off. You deserve it!

There is no way in hell that I'm going do #1 and I can only imagine how #2 would go at my house:

ME: Hey honey? I know it's Saturday and we have a crapload of things to do because we put it off during the week, but I'm going to take the day off.

BELOVED WIFE: That's fine, honey. You deserve it. Can I make you anything whilst you watch TV?

ME: Could I have the remote and the last sleeve of thin mints?

BW: Oh absolutely.

Goooooaaaaaaaallllllls

2012-01-20T09:55:00.000-06:00

There are some things I can set my watch to at the beginning of the year:

I go on a violent rage when I write "2011" on my checks.
Morons fill the gyms.
I set goals.

That whole #3 thing? I mean, who am I kidding? I could say that I want to run 20+ miles every week with 4 days of cross training and, at the same time, I'm eating non-processed foods and washing it down with 2 quarts of water.

Screw that.

Run at least 3 times/week
Cross train at least twice/week

That's it. No more, no less.

Oh, and keep considering that whole marathon thing. Surprisingly, my desire hasn't wained, so maybe there's some traction to it. We'll see. I looked at the elevation map of the race and there's a hill. A hill, people!

26.2 @ 40

2012-01-16T11:36:00.000-06:00

I'm not obsessed with my age. In fact, after hitting 30, I sometimes had to think about how old I was when someone asked. Not surprisingly, though, when you teach high school, you do tend to become more aware of your age moreso than other professions. My obscure Married: With Children and Thompson Twins references don't get quite the laughs in class like they should. To note, they did when I was wearing Generra Hypercolor shirts and Martihe Francois Girbaud jeans*.

That said, I'm well aware that I'll be turning 40 this year. I'm not overly concerned about it. I'll still have to deal with unruly nose hair, thinking that 11pm is ungodly late, and that eating at 5pm isn't so bad.

When I finished my one and only marathon, I told myself that was pretty much it. I could say that I did it and I could move on with my life. Regardless of whether I wanted to do it or not, though, was the fact that I got hurt during the race. I finished, but my time sucked. Lately (and by "lately", I mean in the past year), I found myself kicking around the idea of doing it again before I turned 40.

Well, my 40th is a mere 8 months away and I'm considering running the Omaha Marathon in September. 8 days after my 40th. Not only that, but I'm seriously considering it, too. I was reading Kristina's latest post over at Mother Running Rampant about how her 10th marathon was trippy. That post, for some odd reason, was the tipping point for me. Go figure.

To make it a little more real, I posted my 40th birthday "present" about it on Facebook and Twitter. Now, my occasional** running buddy, XC2 is now getting in on the act and I think she's more excited about running the marathon right now more than I am.

Granted, I'm on Day 2 of this kick, but I already have 5 miles logged in to start it off. This could all easily subside when I remember how time-consuming training was and how much I heart the week after the race. As Ian adeptly mentioned to me, "I guess it's been long enough that we've forgotten how bad it was." Let's hope so, Ian. Let's hope so.

Holy Lord, I may actually do this.

*don't give me the red, squiggly line on Generra and Girbaud, Blogger. These were real things!
**occasional on my part, not hers

Ohm

2011-12-16T06:36:00.000-06:00

Like most people, my life has become one Big Ball of Stress. I mean, I have to work 4. Straight. Months before even getting a 2 week vacation. then, it's another 4.5. Straight. Months before I get the next one. Seriously.

Regardless, dealing with 100s of screaming, overdramatic people on an 8 month basis can take its toll. And don't even get me started on the students.

*rimshot!*

Everyone has their own reason for running. Lose weight, competition, blah blah blah. Mine is simply for stress management. Don't get me wrong, losing weight and pushing my limits was a nice added bonus, but I have (had...working on that) running in my life so I don't snap like a dry twig and go off on someone.

In my neck of the woods, it's getting pretty damn cold here. That, and my normal routine of getting up at Crack Ass O' Dawn to go running has been conveniently replaced by setting my alarm for 4:45am and then changing it to 5:45am. It's quite a workout, lemme tell ya.

Enter yoga. Breathing, stretching, hanging out in the back of the studio with women in yoga pants. My kind of activity, right? Well, at my old gym*, they offered a yoga class at 7pm. Perfect. Throw some food down my kids' throats, throw them in the bathtub, hand them off to mom, and I was off to the gym.

The first couple of instructors were pretty good. They actually taught the class and helped out. The next 3 were a hodgepodge at best:

The instructor who forgot she was teaching and kept going with poses without a word. This would go on for about 3 or 4 minutes at a time.
The instructor who had us standing on our heads within 15 minutes of class "just to try it out and see if you can do it."We couldn't do it and we were all pissed off after the class.
The instructor who wore a fanny pack.

Through dumb luck, I found out where my first 2 instructors went to go teach and I went to their studio. Not only did they let me try out the class for free, but it was probably the best exercise class I've been to.

Was I the only guy there? Pretty much. I mean, there was another guy there, but I was the only guy there (2 snaps up in a circle**). Once the suburbia soccer moms and Neil, their "designer friend" stopped gossiping and started yoga-ing, the vibe was fine. And, after I got over the "you want me to do WHAT?" poses, it went smoothly. And then she put oil on my feet. Weird.

Very. Weird.

Regardless, I continue to go back every other week or so. I suppose if I started running on a consistent basis, I could almost be considered "fit" or "in cross training".

Ohm.

*at least I think it's my old gym. Depends on if they're going to remember to stop billing me...which they won't.

**I plan on more 90's TV references if I write on a more consistent basis (doubtful).

The Break Up

2011-12-14T15:14:00.001-06:00

Hey look! I know the password to my blog!

Let's just jump right in, shall we? Here's the story of how I quit my gym.

There is a Friends episode where Chandler and Ross try to quit their gym but they can't because some hot trainer/membership woman convinces them that they need to stay. I was hoping that that was going to be the case when I went in to cancel my membership.

When I walked in, the front desk kid was nice enough. I mean, he took the time to break away from his cell phone to talk to me. He told me to wait and someone would be right out. I waited....and waited...and waited. All the while, I could see the corner of the manager's office. It's glass, so I could see this member (former member?) just screaming at the managers. Absolutely SCREAMING. There were tears, bulging neck veins, profanities (I know a good F bomb when I see it), etc. I went back to the front desk after about 15 minutes and they told me that I should probably come back another time and that she'd been in there for about 45 minutes. Red flag.

Day 2. Go back, ask for the manager, check the glass encasement/office for disgruntled members and wait....wait...wait. No one after about 10 minutes. Why, you ask? Because all of the managers are stringing Christmas lights on the railings....despite being paged twice. How many managers does it take to string 20 feet of Christmas lights? Apparently, all five of them. I had to wait for all of them to finish when one of them finally acknowledged that a (still) paying member wanted to talk with them.

Finally, I am scuttled in to the manager's office and am told to sit down. Mind you, no handshake has been extended nor a "why do you want to quit the gym?", not even an introduction to who this guy is. I kept looking for The Hot Chick (aka - a "closer") to come in and convince me to stay, but no dice. Nope. This guy just sat down in front of his computer, completely facing the other way.

So, I start a convo with the back of this guy's head. Here's how the rest of it went once I sat down:

Me: So, since I've paid for first and last month's dues, all I owe is the $20 cancellation fee?

Back of Manager's Head (BMH): Yeah

Me: Ok.

BMH: Name

Me: Matt

BMH: (exasperated) last name.

Me: (last name).

BMH: spell it.

Me: (I spell it)

*I'm now getting pissed, but I now want to jack with this guy.

Me: Isn't my info on the screen right there (it was)?

BMH: Different Screen. Address?

Me: It's a different screen?

BMH: Yeah. I'd have to switch back and forth.

Me: Oh, sorry about that. On my computer, I just hit "alt-tab".

BMH: Hm

Me: Must be a different type of computer, too.

(this goes on, obviously. Rest assured, he did not utter a multi-syllabic word)
BMH: Ok, you're done.

Me: Can I get some sort of documentation that I quit?

BMH: What do you mean?

Me: Yeah, something that proves that I quit so, if I get billed next month, I have proof that I've terminated this contract.

BMH: I guess. So....(thinks)....like a receipt?

Me: Sure. Give me a receipt.

BMH: (sighs and punches a few more keys on the keyboard) Here ya go. If there are any questions, just come back and show us this receipt.

Swear to God it's like a receipt you would get from your dry cleaner. I have no doubt that when (not if) I get billed next month, this will hold up in court.

Summer Running Guy

2011-07-18T07:02:00.003-05:00

He's got my legs!

I suppose it's time for the requisite "Holy S***, it's Hot" running post.

Holy S***, it's Hot.

I mean, 83 degrees with 75% humidity at 5:30 in the morning?

Really?

I will never...ever...snark about anyone that's running. Well, OK, I'll take some jabs at other things about them, but not the fact that they're running. Fat, thin, slow, fast, young old, tall, short, attractive, ugly, etc. I draw the line at the Irish, though. Don't ask.

Anyways, I was running this morning and noticed "That Summer Running Guy". It was already 6am and this guy looks like he has one Mizuno in the grave. Just like the rest of us, his entire body is drenched in sweat, but he has this look of grim death (see right). I hope my running never comes to that. To the point where I'm desperately looking for another runner to put me out of my misery. (Although, from the picture, you can see that I was at that point during my last half marathon.)

Then...THEN...about a half of a mile further, there was an older woman running in her blue sequined butterfly shirt and matching blue windpants.

Windpants.

And here's the thing: She looked perky as the dickens! I assumed that she just started running and that Summer Running Guy and she were going to be mentioned on the 10pm news as Two Runners Who Succumbed to the Extreme Heat Whereas the Healthy - and Attractive - 38 Year Old Managed to get a Strong 5 Miler In.

Kind of a long lead/headline, but you get the point.

Stay cool, fellow runners. I'm giving serious thought to moving all of this week's runs back to the gym. I returned...don't ask.

*note - I "borrowed" the picture from a 70 year old guy that ran Badwater. He's not That Summer Running Guy. He's just insane.

SSTIFY

2011-07-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

This week's Song Stuck In my head FridaY has everything you want in a musical earworm:

The song sucks
The song is repetitive

That's pretty much it. Everyone have a good weekend!

P.S. - Much like Adam over at I Am Boring, I am wrapping my head around Google+. It's limited right now, but I think it has potential. It's not...I repeat, NOT going to be a Facebook killer. It's just different. Less bloated, less annoying, more simple.

Odds and Ends

2011-07-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

Ramblings and musings since we last saw each other.

Last week was a big FAIL in the goals category. I only got 3 runs in and 1 cross training. My goal was 4 runs and 2 X-Training.
I've started a "High School Journalism Teachers" running group on Twitter (#runningondeadline). Strangely enough, it's been quite the motivator for me. Some of these teachers are hardcore!
Calliou is a really annoying show. That kid needs to grow a pair. His parents need to smack him up side the head and say "deal with it". He is now banned at our house. Back to Phineas and Ferb!
I may have to casually go into my local running store and donate yet another pair of old running shoes. From there, I'll just casually stroll over to the new shoes. "Oh, I see you have (insert shoe make/model) in. What have people been saying about those? Can I try some on?" The courtship begins....
Google+. Meh. I'm not giving up on it yet, just need a wow factor to keep me engaged. So far, #notsomuch. Feel free to put me in your "Hilarious Running Bloggers" circle when you have a chance.
My iTunes library is sorely in need of an upgrade. Thank God for Kristina.
Speaking of iTunes...Nike+? Anyone? Thoughts?
I really need to get to work on some school stuff. Really, I do. Teachers don't take their entire summers off, you know. Well, we kinda do. We just do our work sipping Starbucks and in between aforementioned Phineas and Ferb episodes.
Debating whether or not I want to play in another basketball league this fall/winter. I've been told that the Old Man League I'm considering is much more laid back and that most of the guys just do it ~~to spend an hour away from their wives~~ to get some exercise.

Price Check, Aisle 3

2011-07-07T06:39:00.000-05:00

$199 for these?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other night and Mizuno Running had a post about some new shoes. I know, I know, I was a little harsh on their Wave Rider 14s because, well, they suck but I'm always a sucker to see the new shoes out there. I clicked on their latest shoe, the Mizuno Wave Prophecy.
$199.99

Whoa. To be fair, I've never seen these shoes other than on their website, nor have I tried them on in the store. They may be the Greatest Shoe Ever Made (doubtful), but $200? Yikes.

I went back and looked at the average price I paid for running shoes. The average was just a smidge (accounting term) over $100. The most I paid for shoes was $130 for Nike Vomeros and those were the worst shoes I've had. Too soft and my heels hurt like hell the next morning every time I ran in them. The least expensive were a pair of Asics when I started out. Those were around $85. Not great shoes, but they were serviceable and held up pretty well.

We all know the "different shoes for different runners" prophecy (pun intended). So too do we know the risks of shelling out a lot of money for shoes that suck. When you do find the shoe that fits, however, it's pretty awesome. I would also venture a bet that that's why most people stick with one specific brand of shoe.

But $200? I have to wonder if, since we're in a new Running Boom, the Mizunos, Nikes, et al., might be taking advantage of that just a bit? Maybe? A little? A smidge (literary term)?

What's your price point where you say, "Nope. Too rich for my blood. I fold."?

Not That It Matters....

2011-07-06T07:16:00.000-05:00

...but here is the reason that I was on practically every blogging format out there. Rest assured, I'll stay on Blogger and - whether you like it or not - ROATM will stick around.

Tumblr vs. Blogger – Tale of the Tape | jeadigitalmedia.org

This is the Month

2011-07-05T06:54:00.001-05:00

First off, I hope that everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July. All of the Razz Family's digits are intact, so that's always a plus. Now, it's back to work tomorrow. Ohhhh, that's right.....suckers.

Not only have I become Mr. Mom since June 1st, I've also spent more time at the pool than I have on the road. Yeah! Razz is swimming! Uh, not exactly unless you consider going underwater to fetch the 5000 dive sticks my kids have acquired.

*Grumpy Old Man Side note - What the hell is with all of the pool toys? It's like a wet Toys R Us out there. I'm one more errant-thrown pool ball away from launching it over the entrance. Go get it, Fernando Valenzuela, it's by the Honda Odyssey.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I don't swim. I can swim, I just choose not to. Nor do I take advantage of rest breaks. Remember those? You all had to pile out of the pool for 10 minutes so you could gorge yourself on candy and ice cream at the snack stand and then go back in the water. Good times. Anyway, now that I'm an adult (loose term for me), I could stay in the pool and do some laps. Or, I could stay in there, enjoy a nice beverage in a coozy and call it a summer.

This past weekend, a couple whom we know actually began swimming laps in the pool during rest break. Honest to God, length-of-the-pool laps. To top it off, they raced each other. My reaction? "I really need to get back into shape."

Mind you, I haven't completely given up running, but I don't consider 2 to 3 times a week "working out", either. Therefore, it is my goal to do the following for the month of July:

4 runs per week
1 of those runs will either be a fartlek (snicker) or an interval
2 days of cross training
Get my average on 3 or 4 milers to be under 8:00.

That last one is my ultimate goal and I think I can do it. I'm currently hovering around the 8:05-8:15 range depending on how god awful the humidity is.

Can it be done? Will it be done? We're going to see. Wish me luck.

Off Track: Can the Huskers Come Out and Play?

2011-07-01T11:39:00.004-05:00

"ESPN: What would it mean for Nebraska to compete for a Big Ten championship in Year 1?

BO PELINI: We expect to do that. That's what our expectation is, so if we don't, we'll all be disappointed. It's not going to be easy; it never is. It'll be a fight, but as long as we continue to do the right things and keep getting better each day, we'll line up and be ready to go come September."

It's official...Nebraska is part of the Big Ten now. Everyone 'round these parts have written about the Huskers' big move to their new conference. And look! I'm not going to be any different.

Here's what I'm going to miss:

Missouri - I'll miss nothing about them. Nothing at all. I will enjoy the fact that they openly hiked up their proverbial skirt to get out of the Big 12 (and then denying it) and the B1G chose us instead.
Texas - Everything is bigger in Texas including the egos. Just keep telling the other 9 teams that your own Longhorn Network will benefit the rest of the conference.
Oklahoma - Guys, you made your bed when you decided that the UT/OU rivalry was more important than the NU rivalry. Translation: you are now Texas' whipping boy.
Colorado - You guys were so cute. You took your best shots at the Big Red and, once in awhile you came out on top. But, c'mon guys...really? Rivals? I must admit, it was kind of fun to see Ian surrounded in red for the last Big 12 game at Memorial Stadium. Yes, that really happened.
Kansas State - You'll always be Nebraska's pesky little inbred brother.
Kansas/Baylor/Oklahoma State/Texas Tech/Texas A&M/Iowa State - Meh

Here's what I'm looking forward to:

Iowa - Being a proud Hawkeye alum, I've had November 25th, 2011 circled on my calendar since last year. It's freakin' on.
Michigan/Michigan State - I'll hate both because I'm pretty sure Nitmos roots for both of them.
Ohio State - Everyone in Ohio roots for these guys, right? I mean, have you ever heard of a die-hard Bobcats fan? For that reason, I plan on giving Viper a hard time - Buckeye fan or not. It will be good for my soul.
Wisconsin - Nebraska Light. Same colors. Same rabid fans. Beautiful campus. Their AD was the starting fullback for the Huskers in the 70's. And this little tradition. Freakin' awesome.
Penn State - I hate Penn State. No, you didn't deserve a share of the '94 National Championship. Why? 2 reasons: (1) You weren't even close to the level of Nebraska and (2) Karma is a bitch.
Minnesota/Indiana/Purdue/Northwestern/Illinois - Meh

Can't wait for college football to start. Can't wait.

Exercising Demons

2011-06-30T07:24:00.003-05:00

For a very brief stint, I was on my high school track team. I had a coach that I hated...hated. He was, hands down, the meanest, nastiest coach I've ever come across. He wasn't intense, he was mean and it didn't help that he thought distance runners were "a bunch of (insert worst word for female genitalia)". For 4 years, though, I couldn't find any redeeming quality about this guy.

For conditioning, we would run outside on the track...no matter what type of weather. I came to hate that track and everything about it. Never mind the fact that just next to the track was a cow pasture, so when the north winds came (common during the spring sports season), you'd get a whiff of methane on every half turn. Goooooo Mustangs!

I had heard that many years back, my coach had died of a heart attack. I don't speak ill of the dead, but that really doesn't surprise me. You know those guys that stress you out and raise YOUR blood pressure?

That was this guy.

So, of course, my intervals brought me back to my old haunts. I've lived close to my alma mater for 5+ years now and it was only until this morning that I decided to run on that track. Not because of some sort of "reliving the past" drama. My other track is being resurfaced. Here are the results:

.25 miles - walk
.50 miles - jog - 4:19
.50 miles - run - 3:15
.50 miles - job - 4:25
.50 miles - run - 3:19
.25 miles - walk

Not overly impressive. I'm slowly getting back to where I want to be. Plus, it was like running in soup, but it got done.

*How many points for the play on words in the title? Huh?

On Hold

2011-06-29T06:55:00.001-05:00

I was all set to write up this post about how I went to my high school alma mater's track and exorcised demons of track practices past with some 800 intervals this morning.

...and then I decided to go to Starbucks instead.

That, my friends was an entirely different experience. I grabbed my tall bold coffee, bought a newspaper and settled in to a comfy chair. The woman that was behind me in line, who sounded a BIT high strung to begin with, sat down next to me. That would have been fine if it were the only other chair, but of course it wasn't. She proceeded to drink her coffee and stare at the wall ahead of her.

Near the entrance, some high school students were gathering. I recognized the "oh my god, I can't believe I'm up this early" look from them. I see it all the time when we take our students to conferences. Regardless, their conversation drowned out the odd music (even for 'bux) playing overhead. Some snippets from their conversation:

"Dudes don't make other dudes cry."
"That's because dudes are assholes."
"My dad gets up this early."
"I only got 2 hours of sleep."

Scintillating stuff, let me tell you. Thank God it's summer vacation and I don't have to listen to that on a regular basis until mid-August.

Where was I? Oh yeah, intervals....tomorrow. I'm not kidding.

It's Too Spicy

2011-06-28T09:05:00.001-05:00

*Note- I'm messing with my blog. Bear with me as I make some tweaks. In other words: deal with it.

"It's too spicy, daddy."

Whenever my 4 year old isn't comfortable with something, he'll say that "it's too spicy". Of course, he uses it to get out of eating dinner, but when something doesn't jive in his little world, he'll pull out that phrase.
Right now, that's kind of how I feel about not being anonymous on this blog. It's too spicy. There's something to be said for anonymity when writing. I could develop a persona that was slightly different from who I actually was. My writing could be more bold and that I could go out on a limb once in awhile. It's not like I was a completely different person. I'm not that kind of weirdo, just...different.
A lot of it has to do with my profession. Being a teacher, you're in the public eye. People consider you a professional and expect you to act like one. And, I'd like to think I do. But here's the deal with teachers:
We're human.
I like to throw down a couple of beers from time to time. I like to bitch and moan about how the Husker offense was completely inept for the rest of the season after the Kansas State game last year. I have the right to complain about my job just as much as the next person. And, if you look at who I follow on Twitter, you could conclude that I'm a die hard husker fan who is a journalism teacher that loves sports, decent writing, that's always looking for a good deal, and occasionally likes an inappropriate joke once in awhile. Like I said....a human being.
Now I've made the decision to start blogging and advertise each post on Twitter...something that my family, friends, colleagues and..yes...even students have access to. I don't know how I feel about that just yet. More than likely, I'll be no more than a blip on their radar and that's just fine with me.
Right now, it's still too spicy.

Redemption!

2011-06-24T06:28:00.002-05:00

Had a really bad run earlier this week. Really bad. Like "I hope that I have to stop at this intersection because of traffic so I can look like I had to wait for cars rather than taking a break." kind of bad. Regardless, I took on the same "brutal" 4 miler (don't judge) and beyotch-slapped it around.

32:36

Had this song come up on my iPod. Consider this my pseudo-STIFFY entry. Brought to you by BING! (c'mon Microsoft. If Ian can get a free pair of shoes for not doing a damn thing, the least you can give me is...um...what the hell does Microsoft have anymore? A free copy of Word?) Nevemind.

Know MY Limitations

2011-06-23T07:25:00.000-05:00

We're sneaking up on Week 2 of my "I Don't Care. I'm on Summer Vacation." facial hair experiment. Yesterday, I talked about how everyone should know their limitations. Obviously, I don't know mine:

Can you say Stone Cold Killa?

Sorry, ladies...I'm taken.

I think that's Chris Hansen from Dateline at my front door. Hang on a sec.

I'm particularly pleased about the non-descript background coupled with the fact that I shot these with my laptop's webcam. Not sketchy at all.

Know Your Limitations

2011-06-22T11:24:00.000-05:00

I've noticed a disturbing trend in my little corner of suburbia. It's not crabgrass or those stupid "Summer!" flags that people hang from their house. No, I'm talking about the fact that most men in my neighborhood do yard/outside work without their shirt on.

When we moved into our house 6 years ago, I glanced over our Neighborhood Association's bylaws and it looked pretty straightforward. I must have missed the "Males must show their pasty, white midsection whilst mowing the lawn." clause. It's quite disturbing, let me tell you. Oh, and I think there's a sub-clause that tanning is optional. As a wise friend always told me: "Tan fat is sexier than white fat." Too bad I'm of Irish/Croatian heritage.

I've always been about knowing your limitations. I realize that people come in all shapes and sizes. That being said, some still think that shorty shorts (both male and female) are the best option for each and every occasion over the summer. Um, no. There are 2 things where I know my limitations:

I should wear a shirt in public. The only....only...exception to this rule is at the pool/lake/beach although, if it's obnoxiously warm in the morning, I'll run without a shirt.
I shouldn't grow facial hair (more on that later this week).

My favorite shirtless wonder is the 70 year old guy in the neighborhood on the Hoveround who takes his lap dog out for a walk/roll. We all point and laugh at him in the car and it's good fun for the Razz family*. That's how we roll. Get it? Roll?

*Not because he's confined to the Hoveround (my son actually wants one), but the fact that it's 8am and he's shirtless and rolling with his dog.

More of Me

2011-06-21T08:01:00.000-05:00

**INTERIOR - IAN'S BASEMENT**

Ian stares blankly at his computer screen while Candis raises 2 kids, cooks dinner, cleans the house....you know pretty much everything else.

Phone rings

IAN: Hello?

NITMOS: You bored?

IAN: Yeah. I'm actually trying to think of something to write. I need more free schwag so I can "review" it and then post something. My Pearl Izumis are wearing out and I refuse to actually pay for a pair of shoes.

NITMOS: What are you going to write about?

IAN: I have no idea. I'm tapped out. Razz is virtually non-existent, so I have no inspiration.

NITMOS: I know what you're saying. My last post was about a koala bear with an STD for chrissakes.

IAN: Want to do a podcast?

NITMOS: No.

IAN: I wonder what Razz is doing right now.

NITMOS: We could call him.

IAN: No.

ANNOUNCER: Are you tired? Bored? Are you thinking to yourself, "I miss Razz. I wish I could know more about him other than his running because he's an inspiration to me, my family, and all mankind."?

IAN: Why yes! Yes I am!

NITMOS: Oh! Me too!

ANNOUNCER: Well you're in luck! For a limited time, you can try out My Blog, My Rules absolutely free! A completely all-encompassing blog about The Man, The Myth, The Legend! It will change the way you look at your entire life!

IAN: But what about ROATM?

ANNOUNCER: Don't you worry, little guy. It will still be there.

NITMOS: You promise, Mr. Announcer?

ANNOUNCER: I promise.

Results may vary as this is the 4th or 5th time I've done this. It's actually an experiment for the upcoming school year. Tumblr vs. Blogger. Look at me! I'm working!

Summer Vacay, Part 1

2011-06-17T07:59:00.002-05:00

So I've just been chillin poolside for the past few weeks (more on that later) and I'm in full-on "I Don't Care. I'm Not Training For Anything." running mode. As a result, I defer to my old tried and true bullet points:

I ditched my gym membership. Not really a sacrifice. I was essentially paying money every month so the entire staff could be on their phones and text. I saw a trainer do that while some poor woman was doing lunges around the track. When he wasn't doing that, he was trying to hit on other gym members. Then there was the "daycare provider" that was texting while some toddler was pissing all over the floor. Stay classy, Urban Active.
I'm a Pool Guy now. We made the executive decision to join a pool this summer. It was that, or the kids and I were going to drive each other nuts by Day 1 of summer vacation. Think Lord of the Flies with flip-flops. Shockingly, I've never been much of a pool guy, but sitting in a plastic chair and making sure my youngest doesn't drown is pretty easy parenting.
And because I'm a Pool Guy, I have to keep being Running Guy as well. I'm getting 3 runs in a week and want to bump that up to 4. Now that I have no gym to go to, I'm off to the local track to get my intervals in. There's something odd about being at a middle school track at 5:30am. It's borderline creepy, but not as creepy as the old man who watches me from his deck.
I've completely let myself go, facial hair-wise. I'm week 1 into my "Screw it. It's summer vacation." beard. I look like I should be a captive on Al Jazeera TV telling the American people how wonderfully I'm being treated. Splotches will fill in in Week 2, right?
I have this in my head. And, since it's Friday, hopefully it will be in yours (SSTIFY!):

Speaking of Sunday morning, Happy Fathers Day to my fellow brethren! Sure, it's not as hyped as Mother's Day, but it gives us an excuse to grill animal flesh, drink copious amounts of beer and shoot animals from our porches.

My Shoes Suck

2011-06-10T08:25:00.000-05:00

As I posted in my race report, I have fallen out of love with my shoes. To be more specific, my Mizuno Wave Riders. I tried. I really did. I've been running in WRs for at least 3 versions. If you've been reading this blog for awhile (are there any left?), then you'll know that I've been kind of a shoe whore before that. I really thought that this relationship would last.

Beyach.

They look cool, but they feel weird walking around. Strangely enough, they feel less weird when I start running. I'm not about to tell you about how the forefoot cushioning blah blah blah and the upper doesn't caress my yackety yack. I don't know any of that technical stuff. All I know is that they just don't feel right.

"So buy some new ones you idiot!" some would beckon.

"Because I don't want to, moron!" I would retort.

I can't return them and they're too damn uncomfortable for mowing. Looks like they'll go back to the recycling pile along with some old Mizunos. Ones that served me well in the past.

Holy Lord, this is the worst post of all time. I apologize. I would just delete the whole thing, but I said I was going to write more this summer. Just didn't clarify that some (most?) of it would be crap.