Russell Davis Cognitive Hypnotherapist

The Power of Commitment

Russell Davis — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 21:54:39 +0000

I was reminded of one of my favourite quotes recently. Before I share it let me explain why it’s one of my favourites.

A friend of mine, Jamie, told me about a time in his life when he had separated from his wife and he was living in their house which was on the market. He was depressed and was struggling to move on with his life. The house was also not selling. His accountant told him that he believed Jamie was not committed to moving on with is life. Jamie heard this and decided to make a commitment to be out of the house, whether it sold or not, within a month. Even if it meant sleeping on a friends sofa, he was going to begin to move on with his life. The house sold a few weeks after that commitment.

When I left my well paid corporate job and was self-employed in a new career I thought I couldn’t afford to save. One day I decided to commit to saving even a small amount. I set up a direct debit and at the end of the month, I never missed the amount. I was saving. I then periodically upped the amount.

This is the quote I love.

But when I said that nothing had been done I erred in one important matter. We had definitely committed ourselves and were halfway out of our ruts. We had put down our passage money–booked a sailing to Bombay. This may sound too simple, but is great in consequence. Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”
W.H. Murray

What is it you want to create in your life you are not committing to?

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What do you want to create?

Russell Davis — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 11:43:16 +0000

When I got my first life coach and got aligned with my soul I made massive changes in my life. I changed jobs from a ‘safe’ and successful corporate career to working for myself in an industry I’d no experience in. I never forget the day I left my old job. I’d been there all my working life. It had a family feel to it. It was my security. My identity. I had no idea what I wanted to do next. However, I knew on my deathbed I would regret not searching for something that was more ‘me’. Following my soul rather than playing safe. It was scary. However, it turned life into an adventure. It meant me coming out my comfort zone. I got myself a coach and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. My life is totally different as a result. I totally believe I am a better parent and am more at peace generally in life. I have a different outlook on myself and life.

I have the privileged to coach some amazing clients. I love my clients I really do.

I’ve had clients that have:

Starting the new business they’ve been wanting to get going for years and enjoying the adventure.
Recognised their true value and put their business fees up 50% and still getting the amount of work they want.
Unleashed their creativity and have started writing the book they’ve been meaning to for years.
Achieved their life-long goal of becoming a published author.
Made massive shifts in their relationship which meant they feel more loved, united and understood.
Found the courage to end the relationship that wasn’t serving them (or the other person).
Finally found more balance in life between work, rest and play.

What will your 2018 bring you? What’s the secret fairly god-mother goal that you would LOVE to come true but you don’t do anything about, or not enough to make it come true? What regrets do you want to avoid on your deathbed? What are you not doing because fear is holding you back? What would make life feel like it is flowing again?

What are you doing out of fear?
What are you not doing out of fear?

Have fun exploring!

Russellx

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Be your own coach

Russell Davis — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 08:50:58 +0000

As a coach providing life coaching to help people create the inspired life they want, one of the things I help clients with is getting clarity of mind. We live an information overload age which can lead to us being easily distracted. This can feed a habitually busy mind making it harder to get in to a state of flow where we do our best work and accomplish more. It’s hard to get clarity on what we really want to create in life and get the results we want when we have a busy mind. This is why many people turn to a coach to help them.

I love formulas. Here’s a formula for getting stuff done that’s important to you.

Work accomplished = time x intensity of focus

It can be easy to stop and quickly check emails or do a chore. We think it only takes a few minutes. However there is something called ‘residual attention’. When we go back to our main task having checked emails we think we are back focussing but part of our mind is still on what you’ve just done – residual attention. This is why the length of time doing the deep work is important. You let go of the residual attention and get in to deep work.

It can be easier to respond to emails and people/tasks wanting our attention. This is reactive work. We don’t have to think about what to focus on, it is done for us. Deep work can be harder. We rely on our own discretion on what is important and what to focus on. It comes 100% from us. We are often not used to that as we are so used to reacting to stuff from the outside. Being outside-in. But deep work comes from the inside-out. It flows from within us. The is the part of us coaching keeps us engaged with.

How much time do you take to do deep work whether on your work/business/fun project?

What stops us? Lots of things but it all comes down to Thought.

Thinking we need to respond to the emails with an hour otherwise someone may be upset with us.

Or lack of confidence in our own ideas/creativity/wisdom to trust our inside-out flow.

Perhaps feeling more comfortable with reactive work than going beyond the uncomfortable feeling of taking yourself to a quiet space and doing deep work. We are feeling Thought in the moment nothing else. This uncomfortable feeling is you leaning in to your edge. There is awesome stuff for you the other side of that uncomfortable feeling. It’s you expanding yourself and your comfort zone. Coaching helps you through that uncomfortable feeling if you find yourself usually reverting back to what’s comfortable.

So hear’s another formula:

Your innate capability to do deep work – contaminated thinking = deep work

What doing more deep work for your business/job/project give you? Plan some time in the diary to that now.

Enjoy playing with deep work whatever that means for you!

Want help letting go of contaminated thinking? Want to see if life coaching will help you in life, work or sport? Contact me to see how I can help you.

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The WD40 of Change

Russell Davis — Thu, 12 Jan 2017 09:55:59 +0000

As a coach, whether it is for life coaching, business coaching or sports performance coaching, I coach people that want to make changes to their lives. I want to share what I see as the ‘WD40 of change’.

From Resentment…

Often we can have resentment towards a situation if it is not how we want it to be. Or resist negative feelings as we don’t want to be feeling them. This resistance and resentment can lead to unhelpful behaviours or distraction which ultimately prevents us from moving on and creating the life we want.

…to acceptance…

However accepting it is difficult does not mean you are accepting defeat – far from it. Accepting the reality of any situation is key to creating something new. When running a marathon the runner can feel pain and discomfort, but it doesn’t mean they are giving up.

Accepting reality is part of the creating process. You cannot create anything without first accepting where you are now. When we try and ignore the pain and pretend things are different perhaps we are often kidding ourselves. Positive affirmations can be a thin veneer of well-being.

Many years ago now when I was at a low point in life, we were experiencing infertility and I felt disillusioned about life. I felt angry and fearful about never being happy. My job was well paid and convenient but I didn’t really enjoy but it. It wasn’t ‘me’. I was ignoring the disillusionment about my job and if I am honest other things in my life including our relationship.

Keeping my head in the sand kept me from doing anything about it. It was familiar. I had worked in the same company all my working life and I was scared of changing; what happens if I move and the new job is worse? As I began exploring this, accepting my feelings, it enabled me to begin the process of creating something differing and finding something I love doing. It enabled me to take action, like getting myself a coach, and begin to take the steps in creating a life that inspired me.

…to allowance.

Allow whatever shows up to show up. What if you didn’t need to be scared of any experience? It is never what we are feeling that is the problem, it’s our judgement/thinking/feeling about our experience that causes the problem and locks us in to that space rather than letting it flow through, allowing a new experience to come in.

Allowance is the WD40 of change. Once you allow what is to be you can begin to move on from it.

With love

Russell

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The Success Mindset

Russell Davis — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 11:55:26 +0000

As a coach I have my own coach. Right now I am buzzing from the insights and growth I have been experiencing recently. I realised I have a habit of thinking I know something, but that prevents us from learning something new, having fresh insights. I am experiencing this roller-coaster of life with more of a beginners mind and am loving the learning and insights that come with it.

I encourage you to read this email with a beginners mind. Be coachable as you read it.

Life is a roller-coaster. Life is still a contact sport and you never know what’s around the corner.

When we feel the need to try and control circumstances and outcomes in order to know we are going to be OK it can be like trying to steer a roller-coaster.

Firstly it is futile because nothing can predict the future, not even your thinking no matter how hard you fret over it! Trying to control outcomes and worrying about future events only bring stress, anxiety and unhappiness.

Your thinking is telling you that you’ll be OK IF you know is going to happen or IF you can ensure particular a outcome.

Many of my coaching clients have a belief that they are OK if they feel in control of the journey to success. This can lead to being anxiety and stress. In the past they have wanted to achieve something such as a successful career they have strived, battled and obtained what they wanted. Now that strategy can appear to work but it is not the most effective of successful approach.

You can’t control a roller coaster. The more you try the more you resist every twist and turn, every up and every down. That can be very uncomfortable.

Your thinking is trying to control life because it thinks his well-being is dependent on circumstances. Dependable future outcomes, dependent on knowing you are in control. The thinking is telling you can relax if you know you’re in control. You may as well try and steel roller coaster because it doesn’t work. Because the thinking is looking the wrong place for peace of mind. Peace of mind does not come from controlling circumstances. If you think it does you never get to the place of contentment and peace. There’s always something else to worry about, another situation to feel in control.

Nothing can predict the future not even your thinking. The future is an incomplete equation by it’s nature, because it doesn’t exist, it only exists in our thinking. Stop trying to complete it.

Peace of mind is a state you drop in to when you stop trying to be OK. When you stop trying to control things. When your thinking collapses and your mind quietens. You drop in to it without trying. It’s ironic we try so hard to be OK, to get pace of mind but that trying/thinking is what is preventing us from having it.

You were born with it. Look at little children they don’t have to do their journalling, affirmations, meditation to be OK. They drop back in to being OK naturally. It’s our default state within us we return naturally when we stop trying to interfere with the system.

The more we recognise this the more we begin to trust whatever happens on the outside, whatever happens in the future, wherever this roller-coaster of life takes you, you are going to be OK.

When we realise this we can create what we want in our life, achieve our goals with greater ease and wellbeing.

Whatever happens you are going to be OK, do you know that?

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Why Every CEO Needs a Coach

Russell Davis — Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:51:10 +0000

By Ray Williams

The job of a CEO has never been more challenging and rewarding. However, the job can be a lonely one despite the generous compensation, perks and attention. Boards, and CEOs are increasingly turning to engaging professional executive coaches to assist CEOs in their performance and growth and reduce attrition.

Why should CEOs have coaches now? Previous generations managed without them. Today’s president or CEO faces more pressures than ever. Business leaders are dealing with rapidly changing markets, technologies and workforces, increased financial and legal scrutiny . . . and more. Top executives who feel that they can handle it all by themselves are more likely to burn out, make poor decisions or make no decisions – potentially resulting in significant loss of opportunities, human resources and financial resources. The job of CEO is unique from several perspectives: No one else needs to hear the truth more, and gets it less from employees; no one else is the focus of criticism when things go wrong; no one else is the final decision maker on difficult and often lose-lose decisions; and finally, no one else enjoys the almost hero-celebrity status and rewards.

The success rate and longevity of top executives is vast different than a generation ago. In the past two decades, 30% of Fortune 500 CEOs have lasted less than 3 years. Top executive failure rates as high as 75% and rarely less than 30%. Chief executives now are lasting 7.6 years on a global average down from 9.5 years in 1995. According to the Harvard Business Review, 2 out of 5 new CEOs fail in their first 18 months on the job. It appears that the major reason for the failure has nothing to do with competence, or knowledge, or experience, but rather with hubris and ego and a leadership style out of touch with modern times. Research shows when someone assumes a new or different leadership role they have a 40% change of demonstrating disappointing performance. Furthermore, 82% of newly appointed leaders derail because they fail to build partnerships with subordinates and peers.

Sydney Finkelstein, author of Why Smart Executives Fail, researched several spectacular failures during a six-year period. He concluded that these CEOs had similar deadly habits of which most were related to unchecked egos. David Dotlich and Peter C. Cairo, in their book, Why CEOs Fail: The 11 Behaviors That Can Derail Your Climb To The Top And How To Manage Them, present 11 cogent reasons why CEOs fail, most of which have to do with hubris, ego and a lack of emotional intelligence. Call it overconfidence or ego, but powerful and successful leaders often distrust or feel they don’t need advice from anyone.

A study by Kelly See, Elizabeth Wolfe Morrison, and Naomi Rothman, published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision, concluded one characteristic of powerful and successful leaders is high levels of self-confidence. Unfortunately, the researchers say, the higher the self-confidence, the less likely these leaders are open to advice and feedback. They also make the point that powerful leaders seldom get useful feedback in their organizations. Subordinates are loath to give bad news or critical feedback, and many boards are not diligent in seeing feedback for performance improvement, particularly relationships, as important as other things, such as financial results. See and her colleagues also contend that today’s leaders are under enormous stresses. These stresses often produce anxiety, fear and physical illness, which strong leaders are hesitant to divulge over concern about judgments that may be made about their capacities or longevity.

Why is this leadership crisis happening? One reason may be the gaps between how leaders see themselves and how others see them. Call it self-awareness. These blind spots can be career limiting. The wider the gap, the more resistance there is to change. It also makes it difficult to create a positive organizational culture where openness and honesty are not encouraged.

Good leaders make people around them successful. They are passionate and committed, authentic, courageous, honest and reliable. But in today’s high-pressure environment, leaders need a confidante, a mentor, or someone they can trust to tell the truth about their behavior. They rarely get that from employees and infrequently from board members.

Paul Michelman, writing in the Harvard Business Review Working Knowledge, cites the fact that most major companies now make coaching a core part of their executive development programs. The belief is that one-on-one personal interaction with an objective third party can provide a focus that other forms of organizational support cannot. A 2004 study by Right Management Consultants found 86% of companies used coaches in their leadership development program.

Marshall Goldsmith, a high profile coach of leaders in Fortune 500 companies and author of The Leader of the Future, argues leaders need coaches when “they feel that a change in behavior—either for themselves or their team members—can make a significant difference in the long-term success of the organization.”

Eric Schmidt, Chairman and CEO of Google, who said that his best advice to new CEOs was “have a coach.” Schmidt goes on to say “once I realized I could trust him [the coach] and that he could help me with perspective, I decided this was a great idea…” Mike Myatt says in his article, The Benefits of a Top CEO Coach, “Executives who rise to the C-suite do so largely based upon their ability to consistently make sound decisions. However while it may take years of solid decision making to reach the boardroom it often times only takes one bad decision to fall from the ivory tower. The reality is that in today’s competitive business world an executive is only as good as his/her last decision, or their ability to stay ahead of contemporaries and competitors.”

Douglas McKenna, writing in Forbes magazine, argues that the top athletes in the world, and even Barack Obama, have coaches. In his study of executive coaching, McKenna, who is CEO and Executive Director for the Center for Organizational Leadership at The Oceanside Institute, argues that executive coaches should be reserved for everyone at C-level, heads of major business units or functions, technical or functional wizards and high-potential young leaders.

Despite its popularity, many CEOs and senior executives are reluctant to report that they have a coach, says Jonathan Schwartz, one-time President and CEO of Sun Microsystems, who had an executive coach himself. Steve Bennett, former CEO of Intuit says, “At the end of the day, people who are high achievers—who want to continue to learn and grow and be effective—need coaching.”

John Kador, writing in CEO Magazine, argues that while board members can be helpful, most CEOs shy away from talking to the board about their deepest uncertainties. Other CEOs can lend a helping ear, but there are barriers to complete honesty and trust. Kador writes, “No one in the organization needs an honest, close and long term relationship with a trusted advisor more than a CEO.” Kador reports conversations with several high profile CEOs: “Great CEOs, like great athletes, benefit from coaches that bring a perspective that comes from years of knowing [you], the company and what [you] need to do as a CEO to successfully drive the company forward,” argues William R. Johnson, CEO of the H.J. Heinz Co., “every CEO can benefit from strong, assertive and honest coaching.” The cost of executive coaches, particularly a good one, is not cheap, but “compared to the decisions CEOs make, money is not the issue,” says Schwartz, “if you have a new perspective, if you feel better with your team, the board and the marketplace, then you have received real value.”

The much asked question about coaching is its ROI. The majority of studies including a major one by Joy McGovern and her colleagues at the research firm, Manchester, indicated that the executives who received coaching valued the service between $100,000 to $1 million ROI. Joyce Russell, the Dean of the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland contends that once considered a concern of an employee or executive was assigned a coach, now it is viewed as a privilege and a sign that the organization values the executive’s contributions and is willing to invest money in their future growth and development.

Robert Lee former President and CEO of the Center for Creative Leadership provided a research study for the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology regarding the use of executive coaches in organizations. He identified the most common areas of focus which included: dealing with paradox and ambiguity; shared power; personal visibility vs. private persona; interpersonal distance vs. personal closeness; narcissism and pride vs. humility; approachability vs. tough mindedness; emotional openness vs. rationality and logic; empowering and enabling vs. directive and forcefulness; extroversion vs. introversion; leading from the heart vs. leading from the head; ethics and morality vs. pragmatism and the ends justifies the means.

In my National Post articles, Top Dogs are Lonely,The Second Fastest Growing Profession and The Seven Deadly Habits of CEOs, I outlined what is now common practice for CEOs–hiring a personal executive coach–and how that helps them perform better.

Professional executive coaches can help leaders grow and improve performance, reduce or eliminate their blind spots and be open to constructive feedback, not only reducing the likelihood of failure, and premature burnout but also provide an atmosphere in which the executive can express fears, failures and dreams. Smart CEOs and progressive organizations now realize the value of a good CEO coach.

Source URL: http://www.psychologytoday.com/node/103425

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How to hear your intuition

Russell Davis — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 11:38:13 +0000

One of the most common questions I get asked is ‘how do I listen to my intuition?’

When do you have the best ideas? The best solutions to problems? When I ask people this question the answer is usually something like ‘in the shower’, ‘when I’m driving’ or ‘when I’m walking the dog’. This is because at these times we are not consciously thinking about the problem. We have a quieter mind and space for new ideas, creativity and insights. This is our intuition, our instinct, I call it our wisdom because it includes our knowledge, intellect and experience. We don’t make whimsical decisions when we trust our instinct, we make wise ones. When was the last time you trusted your instinct and it let you down?

So we have two guidance mechanisms within us, our thinking and our wisdom/intuition. Our thinking is cluttered by past and future thinking, fuelled by fear and prevents us from having clarity and perspective on a situation.

So how can we tell the difference between our thinking and our intuition/wisdom? For me there is a different energy with them. Intuition is grounded in the here and now and comes with more of a sense of peace. Our thinking is often grounded in fear.

Our intuition often comes in moments of quiet, it’s an inner knowing that is often not back up by logical argument, it is what feels right for us. Thinking wants to know you are going to be OK and because thinking is all about the past and future it wraps it’s argument in persuasive logic based on past events and expectations of what the future is going to bring. The past is over and nothing can predict the future not even your thinking. Our instinct factors in our past experiences and expertise but makes a decision based in the here and now and knowing that whatever happens you’ll be OK. That allows you to grow and give birth to the life you want even it means stretching your comfort zone. Thinking wants you to feel comfortable and safe because it wants to know you are going to OK.

Biological cell are in one of two states, growth or protection^⁠. When in growth they are multiplying. If there is a threat in their environment they go in to protection mode, they stop growing until the threat has passed and it is safe to do so. Given we are a bunch of biological cells we operate in much the same way psychologically. We decision can motivated by growth or it can be motivated by protection. Growth can feel scary because it can mean coming out of our comfort zone or leaning in to our edge of fear. Protection is fuelled by fear. It wants to keep us in a safe place, but that keeps us in a prison of thinking. What feels comfortable in the short term feels uncomfortable in the long term as we are not aligned to our soul.

So one question you can ask yourself is ‘does doing X feel like growth or protection’? Growth sometimes doesn’t feel good but it feels right.

I love Michael Neill’s description of the characteristics of wisdom in his book Super Coach^⁠:

Wisdom is ever present and always kind.
Wisdom is sometimes soft but always clear.
Wisdom comes most often in the midst of inner quiet.
Wisdom feels right, even if it doesn’t always feel good.
Wisdom often comes disguised as ‘common sense’ but in reality is extremely uncommon in usage.

“The solutions to outwardly complex problems created by misguided thoughts will not arise from complicated analytical theory, but will emerge as an insight, wrapped in a blanket of simplicity.” Sydney Banks

Have fun exploring your wisdom!

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Are you an owner or victim?

Russell Davis — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 20:36:23 +0000

As a coach (life coach, business coach and sports mind coach) there is a word I hear clients use quite often. It’s the word ‘should’. I want to explore what’s behind this word. We all use it but often don’t understand the negative impact of the mindset that is behind it.

At any point in time we are either operating as an owner/creator of our life or as a victim. My job as a coach (whether life coach, sports coach or business coach) is to help a client recognise the power within them to be the creator of the life they want.

‘Shoulds’ do not free you up or empower you in any way. It’s demotivating. We tell ourselves we ‘should’ do XYZ and when we’re not doing it we feel even worse. This leads to a negative spiral which can have a profound impact on our system, experiencing stress and anxiety which can impact our health and wellbeing. When was the last time you felt so exciting about doing something you are telling yourself you should do?! Your mindset is your inner coach, is it serving you with victim mentality?

Instead of saying we should do something and owner or creator will use language of ownership. ‘I choose to…’.

Owners and victims have a different outlook on life. Owners see life as something they can use, they give himself permission to live and have an inspiring life. Victims have to get permission and think life happens to them. It is true sometimes you do not have a choice over our circumstances however we always have a choice of how we respond to them. That’s the purpose of a coach, to help us see life differently, to see the new things our thinking blinkers us from.

Owners see life as something to get things from, always seeing new things they can learn. For example something may happen and they say ‘I got this from that experience’. They coach themselves in the new learnings and understandings from situations. Victims see circumstances as something to get through rather than something they can get something from.

With my clients I coach them to have a complete mindset make-over. It’s not motivational coaching. The owner v victim mentality is a place you come from rather than a place you have to change your thinking to get to. It’s not about positive thinking. You can’t fight thought with thought. It is about recognising who you really are. We are powerful co-creators of the experience of our life, co-creating with the divine, loving energy behind life.

Victims say ‘it’s just the way I am’. I used to think I was a worrier, I thought it was my personality type and there was nothing I could do about it. This is not true. No one is born a worrier. When I had that realisation I got myself a life coach which was the beginning of a mindset transformation for me and my life.

Victims look for happiness in things outside of them. Our thinking makes us a victim. Our thinking tells us our happiness comes from circumstances, people, our career, our relationship, our bank balance… The truth is we don’t need a reason to be happy, happiness and well-being comes from within us. It’s an inside job.

If there’s a problem creators see themselves as being the problem. Although this is technically not true (because we do not have power over circumstances in life) this mindset is incredibly empowering. Who wouldn’t want an empowering coach within themselves?

Creators create the future today. Creators look to what it means to live an inspiring and purposeful life and start creating that today. Victims look at what’s they will become someday.

Life is a rollercoaster no-one can predict what is going to happen next. Life throws all sorts of things at us. Creators ask ‘how can I use this’? ‘What can I create from this’? There’s always hidden gold. Victims ask ‘why is this happening to me’? And may look who or what they can blame.

Is your inner coach an owner of your life or a victim in life?

Whether you realise it or not you are powerful creator/owner of your experience in life. It’s your thinking that tells you otherwise. You are not your thinking.

If you’ve never experience the benefits of having a coach (whether life coach, business coach or sports coach) to help you create a more creative mindset whether for life or business contact me and we can explore whether I can help you.

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Success With Ease

Russell Davis — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 10:32:24 +0000

A lot of my coaching clients whether life or business have built previous success in areas of their lives such as their career, relationships and other projects but still struggle with a goal, or the next level or don’t feel truly happy.

Inadvertently their career or business has been built upon striving their way forward. Lots of hard work and energy fuelled by the thought of getting to the next level of success. It can be stressful at times but they think that’s OK as they believe it comes with the territory and work through it believing it’ll be worth it.

Striving forward towards a goal is often fuelled by an ‘outside-in’ approach to life. Our thinking tells us that our happiness and well-being is dependent on circumstances on the outside. Some times coaching can focus too much on goals and not the mindset behind success and wellbeing. There is such as thing as toxic goals such as ‘ I’ll be OK if…’ Or ‘I’ll be OK when…’.

Is very hard to control situations and circumstances on the outside and this can often lead to a very busy mind and lots of overthinking. Thinking trying to control future outcomes which leads to second-guessing future outcomes with lots of ‘what if’ thinking. However, nothing can predict the future not even our thinking.

When we begin to realise our sense of well-being, happiness and fulfilment comes from within and is not dependent on anything on the outside it is then we can begin to let go of this thinking and find peace of mind.

In the workplace this enables us to have an uncluttered mind, to have clarity of mind that brings ideas and solutions and ultimately higher performance with less effort.

The old way of striving may have ‘worked’ but I would argue it is possible to succeed with far less effort and far greater well-being. I would say it is more than that, I would say your striving and thinking even limits your possibilities and levels of success. This is what my coaching clients see more and more of in their lives.

Having goals are great but if subconsciously we think our happiness and wellbeing in some way is dependant on the goal then it becomes need rather than a preference. When it becomes need then the fear of it not happening fuels the stress and cluttered mind.

A coaching client who runs her own business was struggling to navigate through some difficult decisions to find the way forward that would take her business to the next level. She knew she needed to make some big changes in the way the business was run and even some changes at director level. With a new sense of clarity and inner-wellbeing the way forward became so clear she could take the necessary actions with ease as they felt like inspiration rather than striving forward with great effort.

Like a lot of business owners I work with her thinking was preventing her from achieving what she sent self employed for – to create a lifestyle she loves. The business (aka thinking about the business) was beginning to consume her.

What goal are you striving towards that you would love to achieve with greater ease?

What are your ‘fairy godmother’ goals that you don’t want to do anything to make them happen but if they did it would be totally awesome?

Or perhaps your mindset and thinking is preventing you from starting to take action. If you want a conversation to explore whether coaching can help you then contact me. Whether you are in Cornwall of further afield I work with clients all over the world via Skype.

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Principles of Success

Russell Davis — Thu, 09 Apr 2015 11:03:55 +0000

At my coaching practice I help people get out of their own way and achieve the things they want in their life. Coaching can bring clarity and a shift in mindset that frees you to move forward and build the life you want.

Here are some principles.

1. Know Your Outcome

What do you want? Most people find it easier to articulate what they don’t want rathe than what they do want. How do you want to live the rest of your life? What do you want more of, not less. Knowing what you want gives your mind something to focus on.

By articulating what we want lets our unconscious mind know what we want it to focus on, bringing it out into the foreground. I know someone who used to be a racing driver. He explained that when he was overtaking, he was 100% focussed on the gap, not the position of other cars. What we focus on we get more of.

But what do you want? Often we don’t know. What would you want if you knew you couldn’t fail? If there were a miracle tonight and when you woke up, everything was exactly as you want it to be, how would you know a miracle had occurred? What would you see, hear, feel, believe?

Action: Spend 30 minutes considering your response to the questions above. Dream dreams. Be specific.

2. Take Action

The more committed you are to take action the more your unconscious resources get activated. You may be surprised how things start to happen for you which can include bizarre co-coincidences. Also when you take action you learn, you learn far more quickly than thinking about things or theoretical exercises. Your unconscious mind learns automatically from experiences, action gives birth to experience.

If you do not know where to start, you may be surprised at even the little things you can do to help you start making some progress with your outcome. Have you ever had a party, come down the morning after and looked at all the mess wondering where to start? Just starting with anything, one small step at a time, and you soon find yourself in the flow of clearing up and seeing order being regained and progress being made.

“Take you life in your own hands and what happens, a terrible thing, no-one to blame” Erica Jong

Action: Make a list of five very small actions you can take towards your outcome. Perhaps it is just making a phone call, or researching something on the internet – action turns information in to transformation.

3. Have Behavioural Flexibility

“If you always do what you have done, you will always get what you got” Tad James

As human beings we value familiarity to some degree. However our survival depends on our ability to respond appropriately in unfamiliar situations.

When we take action we may be stepping out of our comfort zone but you may soon realise you are OK out there. It is the thinking of being out of your comfort zone that causes fear. When you are actually there you are surprised how you just cope because we are built to live in reality, not our thinking.

Outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens.

A coach I know challenges people to increase their comfort zone by going in to McDonalds and asking for a pizza – with a straight face. When they say they do not do pizza ask for a chicken curry instead. He calls it the ‘pizza walk’ instead of a fire walk (walking on hot coals)! Sounds crazy but you will be surprised how you feel afterwards – as if nothing can stop you! I’ve done this a couple of times in different forms and it’s amazing how leaves you feeling on top of the world as you have broken through all sorts of limiting beliefs.

Action: Do a pizza walk!

If you want to explore whether coaching can help you then contact me for a conversation to see whether I can help you create the inspiring life you want.

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