From my current WIP, Notte. As usual, it’s unedited, so read at your own risk. :)

For context: this is the first time this character has been capable of such realization.

So this was the world. I’d been too grief-filled to see, to hear. Suddenly, I realized just how much talking everybody did, all the time. It had meant nothing to me before, simply noise, the same as wind in the trees or the babble of streams. Now, everything was different, because this noise meant things.

Family and finance, food sources, rumors of war, fears of weather-change and the encroach of neighbors, the difficulty of arable land, the expense of animals, nonsense about whether the roads were better as they were, or if someone should be paid to fix them, whispered wonder about the royal city to the south and the wonderful lives the wealthy must live there.

Plus sex. An awful, terrible, disturbing amount of sex.

It was all wondrous to me.

People suddenly seemed alive, doing, growing, thriving, becoming, and it was as I listened to two old men in the bath beside me discussing their fears of greedy heirs and too few chickens that I realized: when they died, it mattered.

When I killed them, it mattered.

When my Beast took full sway and I destroyed as much as I fed, it mattered.

Their lives would stop. Their growth would stop. Their meaning, purpose, existence… would stop.

I cried out, suddenly frantic, suddenly overwhelmed with the weight of the thousands I had slaughtered, unknowing and uncaring, as Asellus desperately tried to keep me from running away.

So while I’m working on THIS….

I got a wild idea. A crazy idea. Ask me your questions, and I’ll put them in the next edition of The Sundered to celebrate the release of Notte.

I am so serious. The Sundered been copy-edited, is getting a new cover, AND I’m writing an appendix – and I’d like to include what YOU want to know.

Added note: if you don’t have The Sundered and you want to participate, contact me. I’m willing to give it to you for free if you’re willing to ask me questions.

We have a few months until Notte is released, so take your time! Think about it. Whenever you have a question, send it to me, either in this post or at the contact page, and it’ll be published (with or without your name, as you wish!) in the second edition of The Sundered.

Fair warning: this was the first Mother’s Day since my mom died due to faulty diving equipment on her 40th wedding anniversary. This post will be very personal, and probably uncomfortable for some. In this post, I am deeply, critically honest.

I knew Sunday was going to be hard. There were moments when I missed her so badly that it manifested as a physical ache in my chest. There were other moments, however, that engulfed me in joy so sharp, so overwhelming, that it took me days to verbalize what happened.

Every Tear

I loved her, and she loved me. We both wanted to fix our relationship, but could not – at least, not while she was here.

She’s not here anymore. She’s in Heaven, and I know with complete surety that her problems are gone.

Made New

It sounds completely insane to say this, but since I’m being honest, I will: I feel closer to my mom now than I did when she was alive.

No, I know she’s not here. I don’t have her eternal email address. There are no séances at Casa de la Reid. What I do have is the amazing, incredible understanding that she’s been made new, healed, and whole.

I look forward to that for myself someday.

Her fears of betrayal are gone. Her depression and mood swings are gone. Her chemical inability to understand what went wrong and why things hurt is gone.

She even understands now why I married Duane. That’s a nice change.

Reconciled

But it goes even deeper than that.

There are many reasons why my mom left this world when she did. I certainly don’t know all of them. I do know she needed to go Home.

She needed to go Home badly. Her depression had reached a point where she could not fight it off, and it wasn’t her fault. Chemical disorders are terrible things, and she’s not the first Christian to have to fight them.

Even if I don’t ever have another reason, I know that her going Home didn’t happen because God looked away. God doesn’t cause horrible things. He is just amazing enough and loving enough to use even great evil to create great good.

This is why I’m okay

I miss my mom. I don’t miss our conflict. It’s gone, healed, done, and leaves me free to love her as she is without her burdens, and to look forward to seeing her again with nothing between us.

So at the end of this Mother’s Day, a few days before her birthday, I have peace. It’s not easy to say because I know a lot of people think this kind of reasoning is crazy. That’s okay. They can think that. I’m too busy rejoicing that my mother is healed to care.

When I see her again, I’ll be healed, too. Reconciliation and fulfilled love are in my future, and that’s what I call oh, happy day.

Amen.

Stalking Shadows by Tahlia Newland

I’m delighted to get the chance to review this book pre-release.

Tahlia Newland has built a world where every emotion matters. Where infection (called the Serpentine) can turn evil and selfish feelings into something far more destructive, requiring great mental discipline to combat.

‘So, essentially, we’re fighting our own emotions,’ she had concluded. ‘Which is why defeating the demons can only be achieved by gaining command over your emotions,’ he had said.

This world is the context for Ariel, a young woman in the grip of a prophecy, desperately trying to rescue her mother before her mother is killed… or worse.

Romance-wise, Nick and Ariel have their moments, though I confess that sometimes I want to shake them both until they kiss and make up. Their own fears and personal growth lend the story just a touch of Twilight-style angst, jealousy, and we-can-never-be-together-frustration.

One of the key facets of Ms. Newland’s writing is she tends to follow Neil Gaiman’s advice: “Find the right word, put it down.” She has a skill for choosing words that deftly avoid passive-verb problems, skillfully weaving her impressive world-building and unique system of magic and power.

It’s a visual writing style - you can see the action.

I enjoy the subtle (and not so subtle) message of all life being important, and there being hope for everyone, no matter how tainted. If you’re interested in this book, do check it out. All pertinent information can be found here: