Ruthie's Blog

Hopeless Romantic

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:23:00 +0000

I am an unreservedly and unashamedly romantic.

I love movies where boy meets girl and by the end of the movie they're together. I cry every time at the end of 'You've Got Mail'.

I don't like movies where boy meets girl, they fall in love and then tragedy strikes. 'Devastation' is the only word I can use for the ending of 'Message In A Bottle' and 'Nights In Rodanthe'. How can they do that to an unsuspecting movie watcher?! Sorry if I've just ruined two movies for those reading this...but I've saved you from the devastation I had ;0)

Valentines is one of my favourite times of the year....and yes I'm single. I love what it means. I love that it's a celebration of love. For me, it's not a celebration yet (did you get that 'yet'...I'm working on it) of romantic love but a celebration of the love I have in my life and I am blessed to have a lot of love in my life. I have the love of my family. I have some pretty wonderful friends around me who make life so much fun & have walked with me through some dark times. And how can I not mention the love of my fabulous nephews! I will never forget the moment my youngest nephew (he's 5) walked into the kitchen and said 'Aunty Ruth (little pause) I love you' and then walked away again. Makes me teary just thinking about it.

Love is a truly marvellous thing. The pain of the past hasn't dampened my love of love. I read this very recently:

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart." Same can be said of a man's heart to a woman.

As I enter this next year between Valentines Days, one of my deepest desires is to enter into the one relationship that leads to marriage. I love that I'm not afraid of that anymore. While saying that I am always reminded of Proverbs 4:23 "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life". My heart is a very precious gift and the man who gets it will be responsible to tending carefully for it.

Don't you just love LOVE! :0)

I've realised I've written a blog entry on Valentines for the last couple of years which brings some more personal insights. If you want to take a look then here are the links:

2011
2010

I wish you a very 'HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!'

Taking A Break

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:20:00 +0000

In the last few days the news I hadn't expected came....the property for Noah's has fallen through. I am disappointed (more than I thought I was)...and I'm mentally & physically drained too. The adrenaline has gone on holiday.

So, I'm taking a break from the physical work...the nitty gritty...I've been doing with Noah's. Don't panic! The dream isn't dead, it's not finished, it's not over. It's very much alive & I am more passionate about it now then ever before. The plan is to return to it week beginning 26th March unless God clearly opens a door before then.

The break I'm taking is one so I can gather my thoughts & some energy but more importantly spend time praying. Prayer & faith are the bedrock of Noah's. I'm just going to spend some more time seeking God and His wisdom for me & for the dreams I have. I'm circling His promises to me in prayer and daring to ask for even greater things. I've been timid in my prayers and will be building up my boldness to ask & believe for greater things. I believe that more will become clear as I seek God.

For those in the Bracknell area, if you'd like to start holding prayer meetings for Noah's then I'd love to come along and can share some of where it's at, what I believe God is saying and the dream for the future. My desire would be that there are pockets of prayer happening all over. I'm very thankful for the 'pockets' I'm aware of in other parts of the country. People listening to God and praying for Noah's.

The bright side (a little selfishly) to not getting the property is that I can plan a longer holiday later in the year, I get to stay for longer in my day job (which I love), I get to remain part of my band 'Thin Places' for longer, and my diary is a little lighter too.

In the next few weeks I'm looking forward to getting through the mountains of unread emails in my inbox (for those who know me well, this is a pressure) and getting my calendar sorted out (I've missed a couple of things planned with friends because I didn't put them in my calendar & forgot about them - again, another pressure). I'll be learning to put my time management skills into practice! :0)

Just to be clear, so there's no misunderstanding, Noah's is not dead, I've not lost the vision or the passion or the faith for this remarkable & wonderful dream God's given me. I'm just taking the opportunity to have a rest and seek God.

And to start with some rest, today I'm having coffee with a friend, then tea with another friend and then I'm going to the movies :0)

Thinking Realistically

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:05:00 +0000

I've sensed God has been talking to me lately about 'thinking realistically'. However it's not been about 'realistic thinking'. Confused? You won't be soon.

We're so often told that thinking realistically is that we have to have everything in place, that we need to know exactly how everything is going to work, that we have to follow a process and stay 'in between the lines'. For anyone who knows me well, you will know that's how the majority of my life has worked. I like all my 'ducks in a row'. Realistic thinking at it's best.

As a follower of Christ what does 'thinking realistically' mean? In all honesty, I'm still working it out but I know in the eyes of those without faith it looks completely crazy. It is very different to 'ducks in a row realistic thinking'.

The last couple of years has certainly not been a 'ducks in a row' time. In fact God has been taking me down a route that is quite far from that. It's been uncomfortable but actually quite liberating. I think that's faith in a nutshell - 'uncomfortable but liberating' - oh, and exciting too.

8:55pm
I've been sitting on this blog entry for about 10 hours because I couldn't adequately describe this realistic thinking God has been speaking about. Well, thank God for Mark Batterson! I'm just reading his new book 'The Circle Maker' and he's defined it in one sentence:

"Sometimes faith seems like a denial of reality, but that's because we're holding onto a reality that is more real than the reality we can perceive with our five senses."

That's what God has been saying, in a nutshell, and very well put by Mark Batterson. That's the reality of Noah's. Full Stop.

God Dreams Are Reality

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:28:00 +0000

Yesterday I had the privilege of hearing Matthew Barnett of the Dream Centre in Los Angeles speak. Although I'm still processing much of what I heard, everything confirmed the path I'm on.

There were lots of points but this is the main one which stuck out for me:

"In all your ways know, recognise, & acknowledge Him, and He will direct & make straight & plain your paths." Proverbs 3:6

This is what makes dreams such as Noah's reality - the constant need to listen to & acknowledge Jesus. I wouldn't want it any other way. It's the only way.

Here are a few more points I picked up:

If God gives you a dream you've got to act like it's reality.
Don't think about success but acknowledge God in everything.
If you take on the people nobody wants, then God will provide the people everybody wants.
Jump in with both feet & we'll think about it later.
Noah's is a commitment for life.
A God idea is a calling that has captivated your heart & won't leave you.
Minister to people's potential first and need second - what is your dream?
We have to remember the 'landmarks' and be thankful & praise God for what He has done.
Be a 'master asker'. Money follows ministry. Have a 'story', a vision, a dream and don't be afraid to ask.
The world & people in our world will try to define & label us. We have to refuse to take that label & definition. GOD DEFINES ME!
Overcomer, Faith Filled & Faithful, Strong

I hope I have the opportunity to visit The Dream Centre in LA one day. It's the recovery houses on a HUGE scale. One man had a dream and a passion. He acknowledged Jesus in all of it and the Dream Centre is what happened.

Pondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:51:00 +0000

As I've been sat in the silence of my home, I've been pondering...such a lovely word...pondering. I've pondered about the direction this life I've been blessed with is taking. I've been pondering about the emotional stability & spiritual maturity Pete Scazzero talked about on Sunday & today. I've been pondering about how my past held me back from my future. I've been pondering about love & marriage (I'm sure there's a song in there somewhere) and singleness (don't worry, I'm not getting all "why am I not married yet, why hasn't God given me a husband, why are all the good ones taken, yada yada"). No, I've been pondering this: I was not wife material before God opened up the pain of my past and had me deal with it.

Pete Scazzero said something, well he said a lot, today about emotional stability and the effect this has on all areas of life but in particular I picked up on singleness and marriage. I realised that up to the point I started to deal with my past, my emotions were all over the place for a great number of years. Up and down like a flippin' yo-yo. Putting my feelings in the hands of those not worthy to have them and making mistake after mistake. I would have made a TERRIBLE wife!

But then God opened up the wounds from the past and we started to pick them apart and sort them out. It was the most utterly painful thing yet the most wonderful thing I've ever done. Everything in life happens for a reason and my past means I have the ability to start helping others & to help see them through the pain of their past.

The release from my past means I have the ability to love now with every part of my being. The release from my past means that I don't have to hide anything which means I'm able to be truly open with everyone but most of all with the guy who will win my heart. I can't tell you what that does in my spirit! So nervously excited! :0) In my mind, part of being a wife is to be a helper, a support, someone to share the load, someone to laugh with, to love with, to have confidence in and with, as well as much more.

I look forward to the day when Mr 'not so perfect but loves Jesus' plucks up the courage to make himself known. Or, as it's a leap year, maybe I need to pluck up the courage to chat to a guy. In it all, right now, I am single and I am peaceful & content. If the right guy turned up tomorrow, I'd be peaceful & content and excited to see what would happen. If tomorrow is another day of being single then I am peaceful & content. My contentness (is that a word...well it is now) comes from the relationship I have with God.

Many helpful ponderings (I do love that word) tonight.

Peace In The Middle Of Fear

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:41:00 +0000

This week I've been facing more than moments of being downright scared as the plans for Noah's move forward. Amidst the excitement of meeting bakers, looking over floor plans, communicating with suppliers, meeting design people, starting the ball rolling on promotional media, there is an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

I'm the one who has to make the decisions on basically everything. Of course I have people around me who advise in their area of expertise and I am very, very thankful for them, but this week the dream got rather weighty.

I haven't taken my eyes off God at all, in fact I've prayed more this week. I've made the daily decision to trust Him, to rely on Him, to give the fear I've been feeling to Him. As the fear has risen so has my passion for helping each woman who is going to come to the recovery houses, which is what this is all about.

I've also read these inspiring quotes that have appeared in my twitter feed or in a book I've been reading:

"When fear knocks on the door, answer with faith!"

"God is not asking us to not feel fear, but to move forward when we feel fear because He is with us."

"Hear what others have to say, but listen to God."

"Whatever God calls you to do He equips you to do as well."

"We must have faith when it comes to our future."

"There is never any lack of leadership for the child of God, as long as they seek Him for it. Nothing is beyond His leadership ability. There's no problem too tricky, no distance too great, no dilemma too complicated. Everything that falls within the bounds of this universe falls under His capabilities as a leader."

"In Matthew 7:7 (AMP), Jesus tells us, "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you."

"patience + grace + commitment + faithfulness + endurance + resilience +trust + steadfastness + passion + loyalty = destiny"

I love that God speaks clearly to me through the different types of media I have in my life, and because of it, I am doing absolutely okay. I am peaceful in amidst the fear. God is bigger than fear and has provided the peace that keeps me moving forward and trusting Him and giving fear the old heave-ho.

Big Prayers In The 7th Year

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 21:27:00 +0000

2012 is my seventh year in Bracknell. It is officially the place I've lived in the longest during my adult life. I'm so glad God prompted me to put roots down here. I love Bracknell...really! It's the place where I found who I really am. It's the place where I found a great group of life long friends. It's the place where I found my purpose. It's the place where I bought my first home. It's the place I'm called to be in. It's the place where I've seen big prayers answered. It's the place where I've seen my faith blossom. It's the place I most want to see God impacting through His church and the people in it. Yep, Bracknell is my true 'home'.

I was thinking a couple of weeks ago about this being the 7th year here and the word that popped into my head was 'jubilee'. And there was something in the back of my mind about the 7th year, in the Bible, being a year of jubilee, a year of freedom. So I did a bit of research.

It turns out that the 7th year isn't the year of jubilee but it is 'The Year Of Release'. I read Deuteronomy 15 where it talks about all debts being forgiven in the the Year Of Release and speaks of being generous in abundance.

For me, this 7th year is particularly poignant. I am being released from debt and will be absolutely debt free very, very soon. This comes as a result of someone being 'generous in abundance'. And the freedom of spirit, heart & soul that this has brought is indescribable. It's also beginning to bring a 'freedom of pocket' meaning I can give to those in need....and that's just the best! :0)

As I've been thinking and praying into this 7th year I get more and more excited about it. I'm beginning to pray bigger and harder about my dreams. And I have a greater hope for each of my dreams. There is going to be huge release for Noah's. I have so much faith for it! There is going to be huge release in the battle with my weight. It's happening already. There is going to be huge release in the band I play in. We had a great evening together on Thursday and I can see the prophetic being released to greater levels among us.

There is one dream in particular that I have an increased hope & faith for. I hope Bracknell is the place where this dream will be fulfilled...I have a feeling it will. As my passion has increased for Noah's and the recovery houses, my passion for sharing it & life with my yet-to-be-revealed husband has also increased. The joy of watching it happen, of making it happen, of celebrating the successes, of working through the 'miracles waiting to happen' (difficulties) together, just doing life together.

The last couple of years have been preparation times and times of meeting a few guys (a doctor and a naval officer to name two). This year there is something different in my spirit. I wish I could explain the change in me, the increased optimism, the increase in my faith for this. It's strangely nice...and a little exciting too! Who knows?! I can't wait to share this life and all it brings with him :0)

My focus remains to live each day to the best of my ability, loving God, listening as I pray, laughing as much as possible, working hard, remaining positive when things aren't so rosy, loving those already in my life, loving those who will appear in my life, and seeing this 7th year, The Year Of Release, bring greater and bigger things than I could ever ask or imagine.

Goodness! Everything in me is excited to see what happens! :0)

Beginning 2012, Reflecting on 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 21:42:00 +0000

This year has been a long time coming and has also arrived very fast. It's a year I've been waiting for as well as knowing it's going to be the one that requires more hard work than the 37 that have gone before.

2011 was an incredible year. Leaving the security of work at Kerith was a tough decision but was the right decision. Starting 2011 with no job was scary but within days I'd been given the opportunity to work for Starbucks. It was a great job, hard work but great. Discovering I actually liked people & being in a customer service role was liberating and I was good at it too (I love discovering new aspects to who I am). It was unfortunate that along with the salary not being enough to continue working there, it became untenable to work with someone who decided they didn't like me and made my working life difficult. I was offered the opportunity to move to another store but it was the right decision to finish my time with Starbucks. I'm so glad for the opportunity I had to work there and for the great people that I worked with and learned from.

Within a few weeks of finishing at Starbucks, a door opened to take up a temp position in the customer services team at RSA in Bracknell. I'm still working there today and it's one of the most enjoyable & rewarding jobs I've ever had. I work with some great people and we laugh a lot as we get on with the job. I love talking to the customers and trying to help them resolve their issues whether it's passing them on to colleagues or raising an order for them. Working there gives me the time & energy to get on with the plans for Noah's. It'll be a sad day when I leave RSA but I know it'll be because Noah's will be almost ready to open. Exciting times!

Through some wonderful financial provision, I was able to go to the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in Chicago in August. A dream come true! Seeing Chicago was amazing (unexpectedly meeting & talking to Mike Rizzo - GM of my favourite baseball team, the Washington Nationals - in the middle of the city was incredible) but by far & away the Summit was the most outstanding part of the trip. Hearing so many incredible leaders - Patrick Lencioni & Steven Furtick were my favourites - and gaining tools for being a good & effective leader is something that I won't forget. Another highlight was having time with the manager of Dr B's (the Willow coffee house) and hearing how it came about, seeing how they operate, looking at the equipment and sharing about Noah's & the vision for the houses. And then there was spending time with some people from Kerith was just the 'cherry on top'.

Throughout the year I saw God provide for me financially through different people as well as working on my character. Learning to be vulnerable is tough but I am so very thankful for those who prayed for me, invested their time & money in me, and generally loved & cared for me. Envelopes containing money & gift cards have been pushed through the door anonymously and there was one that came from an area of the UK where I don't believe I know anyone. I'd heard of this happening to others but it had never happened to me before.

I knew this year was one where I wanted & needed to get my finances under control. I budgeted and pulled in my spending but the drop in salary proved to be too much with the debts that I had. A friend had encouraged me to contact Christians Against Poverty (CAP) to get help but I thought it'd be okay. It turns out that it wasn't. So I contacted them at the beginning of September and had an appointment with a debt coach mid October. The journey from then to now has been a hugely rocky road, with intense highs & lows. The budget was very tight and we were heading towards insolvency. The amount of debt was relatively small but my income, although enough to cope with a tight budget, didn't cover the debts hence the insolvency route. What has amazed me in this process is that I've had everything I need and I've been able to give to others.

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others."

2 Corinthians 9:8

Then God provided a miracle....a substantial gift to pay off my debts! 'Lost for words'...I truly know now what that feels like. There are no words just extreme gratitude to the person who gave the gift and to God who caused them to act. CAP are now dealing with the creditors and will work to get a full & final settlement from them. I will be debt free early this year.

Everything in 2011 has been leading to getting Noah's up & running. At the beginning of the year Noah's was a dream. Now it's becoming a reality. At this point, 1st January 2012, we're close to securing a property, there are more people wanting to come on board, the first plans are being drawn up & the house blend is being tweaked. I'll be blogging more about this on the Noah's Blog in the coming days. Suffice to say, we're working towards an opening date of Tuesday 1st May. Yep, very exciting as well as downright scary! This time next year we'll be working towards a date for opening the first house and receiving the our first residents. That's beyond exciting....that we'll be close to helping women achieve freedom from the things that have held them back and enable to them take up the full lives they have always been destined to have.

2011 has taught me that I am to rely solely and fully on God for everything. Finance was the area where I had least faith at the start of 2011 but I was determined to see it grow. At the start of 2012 it is where I have the most faith. God has provided so incredibly for me personally that I know He is going to provide for Noah's. And I can now pray with increased faith for those I know and the situations they're in. My faith has already been tested and will continue to be tested but I hope I will prove faithful.

A friend on Facebook posted this question yesterday 'What do you see?' in relation to 2012. My answer was "I see a year of blessing, favour, hard work, laughter, some tears, and God's faithfulness abounding in every circumstance". I believe that with all my heart. Let's see what happens....

Put Your Faith To Work

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:45:00 +0000

I've been doing some thinking over the last few days about the last year and also the coming weeks & months ahead and read this today in 'Word For Today':

"We become so engrossed in what we see, feel and hear, that we operate within our natural senses rather than our spiritual ones. 'Through your faith, God is protecting you by his power' (1 Peter 1:5 NLT). Your 'faith' is what activates the power of God. Before a stone becomes a diamond it's just carbon put under millions of pounds of pressure. The Bible says, 'These trials will show that your faith is genuine' (v. 7 NLT). Trouble not only places a demand on your faith, but reveals the depth of it. You don't really know much about your faith when your bills are paid, your body is healthy, your children are acting right and your marriage is intact. But when all hell is breaking loose and you trust God to bring you through it, you know you've got faith. Sometimes we think we're doing better spiritually than we are. But often the enemy has not ceased to attack, he's just moved from doing it in the natural realm to doing it in the spiritual realm. He's attacking your mind, your rest, your peace, your emotions and your thought life. So what can you do? Lift up the shield of faith and stop his flaming arrows. Take...the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and use it to drive him back (See Ephesians 6:17 NKJV). Put your faith to work. Say, 'Enough is enough,' and begin to take back what the enemy has stolen from you."

My faith & confidence in God continues to grow & deepen. I know I'm going to be need it each and every moment of each & every day to come. Sometimes it will be easy to trust God. Other times I will need every ounce of my heart, mind, soul & spirit to trust Him. Whatever comes my way, I CHOOSE to put my faith & confidence in Him. As 2012 approaches, what is your choice going to be?

AMAZING WONDERFUL NEWS!

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:04:00 +0000

Well, I didn't think I'd be writing this blog entry for a good few years to come but by the grace of God I get to do it now.

I will be debt free early in 2012! WOOHOO! :0)

Someone emailed me last week and said 'I've been praying & I want to give you a gift so you're debt free'. To say I was, and still am, stunned is an understatement. I'd been praying for a miracle so I wouldn't have to potentially sell the house and become insolvent...and there was the miracle, on the screen in front of me.

Words are still failing me.

The money was in my bank account on Friday and on Saturday I was able to pay off the first debt. There are no words to describe how that felt. CAP gave me the permission to pay off all the 'primary' debts which I've been able to do in the last two days...and it feels so completely amazing!

Now CAP have the rest of the gift to begin working on paying off the 'secondary' debts. I had hoped that it could all be tied up by the end of the year but unfortunately it takes a little longer as deals have to be struck and everything has to be done by letter. I feel peaceful about that.

I don't have any other words right now. It may take me some time to be able to voice what is going on in my heart, in my spirit, in my head. I am overwhelmed, excited, stunned, incredibly thankful & grateful, humbled, emotional, peaceful...and somewhat weary too.

I think the last thing to say right now and what I and the benefactor have been saying is ALL GLORY GOES DIRECTLY TO GOD & HIS FAITHFULNESS. This song says it all.....

Hopeless (The Reality Of Debt Part 3)

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 13:45:00 +0000

Today I feel hopeless.

I admit to struggling with the reality of my debt situation. It just seems to be particularly heavy today. I have what seems like a huge book of paperwork to complete to do with insolvency but the insolvency option doesn't sit right in my spirit. However, it needs to be completed even if we don't go down that route.

Working to the budget isn't an issue. I'm coming in under budget each week on food & I'm not going hungry and I'm sticking to the amount given for each budget item.

There are some decisions to make which require independent financial advice. A good friend is going to help with this.

And how all of this fits in with the plans for Noah's, I just don't know. There seems to have been sustained 'attack' this week on the work to move it forward. It's felt like a 'weight' and, being completely upfront, I've had the very first 'I'm just going to give up - I can't do this' thought. Of course, I won't give up but it is a ridiculously hard slog at the moment.

More people do need to come on board with Noah's. I can't do it alone. I believe God is speaking to people about being involved, to give financially, to give their talents but it needs them to be obedient to His call. It is indeed scary when God is calling you to something that seems impossible in our eyes but if Noah's is to happen & succeed then it will take bold decisions from those who know God is speaking to them.

I read this this morning in my quiet time:

"And set your minds & keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth."
Colossians 3:2

And then I dragged myself (kicking & screaming) out of bed and up to Kerith for the 9am meeting. I walked in just as we were singing this:

I cried as I worshipped...as I met with God. They weren't sad or frustrated tears but tears of knowing my life & everything that it involves is in His hands. He sees everything, knows it all, knows how I feel today, and HE IS FAITHFUL!

"My whole life I place in your hands. God of mercy humbled I bow down. I called. You answered. You came to my rescue. In my life be lifted high."

The rest of my day is being spent quietly. I do feel emotional and I'm okay with that. I'm watching a few movies about people who have had to battle to overcome their situations e.g. Men Of Honour, Remember The Titans, Coach Carter.

The God Anthology

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 20:00:00 +0000

I'm just coming to the end of great yet tiring day. Moving things forward with Noah's and my head is full of menus, buildings, equipment, staffing, figures, and so much more. Yep, I've got a little bit of a headache but it's great to be moving things forward :0)

So I'm turning my thoughts to something which causes me to relax, my God. One of the things I've been wanting to do is to take time and listen to 'The God Anthology' podcasts from National Community Church in Washington DC. They're talks designed to focus us on the different aspects of God to draw us closer to Him and enable us to truly worship Him knowing the awe inspiring aspects of who He is.

Today saw the album release of the songs written specifically for this series....and it's a great album (thanks Mam & Dad for the birthday present via iTunes!). And not only is there an album of the songs, there's also a website with the video talks, and the songs to listen to, and introduction videos for each session. Oh, and then there's all the other resources for the series on the evotional website....

So now to listen to the first podcast on God's 'Mystery'. Time to relax....

superabundantly

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:11:00 +0000

"Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]"

Ephesians 3:20

I know God is confirming to me over and over that He is my provider and He is the One who is SUPERABUNDANT and can do SUPERABUNDANTLY more than I dare to think, ask, dream & hope.

And this song has more meaning every day.

There is no-one like Him. Into the darkness He shines. Out of the ashes I rise.

My God is greater....and SUPERABUNDANT.

What a wonderful word....SUPERABUNDANTLY....and what a wonderful God.

Fish Fingers & Chips

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:17:00 +0000

Fish fingers & chips...one of my favourite meals. Nothing fancy - fish fingers, chips & ketchup. No peas, no beans, nothing remotely healthy. That's what I've just had for dinner on what has been an ordinary but extraordinary day.

I have no idea why I'm writing this entry but today has been AMAZING! What have I done today? It started at 5:30 getting up & out to the early morning prayer meeting (why have I not been before), before the blessing of a Starbucks double tall three pump vanilla skinny extra hot caramel macchiato (I was so chuffed when I remembered I had money left on my birthday Starbucks card!). Then work which was frustrating on the odd occasion but fun all day. We laughed such a lot today! Oh, came home for lunch (didn't eat) and spent time practicing 'Our God' which turned into true worship. After work met the estate agent to value the house. Better news that I thought but hopefully not selling. Then blessed with fish fingers & chips for tea (small things). Now off to see a very special person in my life (before you get your hopes up, not it's not a boyfriend LOL!) before heading to band for rehearsal for Sunday.

So why is this seemingly ordinary busy day extraordinary?

THE FELT PRESENCE OF GOD!

I've had it since early (4:30am!) Tuesday morning when God woke me up & prompted me to do something I'd said no to. Once I relented and said yes I went back to sleep. My expectancy of Him to do incredible things is heightened. I'm sensing Him so much more powerfully. I am so excited about our rehearsal tonight that I'm struggling to hold it in. There is such a sense of something huge on at least two of the songs chosen for this Sunday. Declaring who God is. I've got goosebumps just thinking about it!

Expect God to make your ordinary 'extraordinary'.

I've got to head out now so I'll leave you with this song that's one for this Sunday at Kerith:

Whatever It Takes (Reality Of Debt Part Two)

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:34:00 +0000

Today I had my third and final meeting with my CAP support worker (the case worker at head office will now take over). This was to go through & sign off the finalised budget. The good news is that it'll now only take 13 years & 7 months to get debt free (compared to the 18 years & 5 months we were working with!). I admit to having a little chuckle about that. I have to keep smiling or I'll slip into despair.

Other good news is that I now have cheaper car & home insurance and cheaper broadband (which also gives me a telephone line and number). Small things :0)

I do need to increase my income by £250+ per month, so if you know anyone who wants to rent a room, please let me know.

The budget is extremely tight but the first two weeks have gone well. I realised I'd become lazy in my cooking and the last couple of weeks have been a real joy when preparing meals & packed lunches. As time progresses I hope it will stay as joyful.

The meeting this evening gave me a few things to do (paperwork to collect, phone calls to make, visits to arrange etc), things that could possibly mean giving up possessions. I'm asking God for a miracle. I'm praying each day for a miracle.

I was thinking about this and as I drove home, I said to God (out loud) "Whatever it takes, I'll do it. Whatever has to happen, I'll go with it. Whatever needs to take place then I'll face it" and I meant it. I seem to have 'holy moments' in my car and this was another. Just me & my God, a moment where it was all okay and that perfect peace filled the car.

I'm sat here waiting for the tears to fall. They're coming. I can feel them. The reality of debt is not a nice or pleasant thing but I have such an assurance that it's going to be okay as I walk this path. I think that's what these tears are about (yep, they're here)....that I'm on a tough part of my journey but when I look back at this time later in my life I will see phenomenal growth in my character, my faith and in my relationship with God, friends & family.

I know who holds my past, present & future. I know who holds my dreams & passions. I have nothing to fear. I would give everything up...and it may come to that...if it brought me closer to Him. I say that with all sincerity, knowing exactly what the situation is.

The tears have stopped and I'm reminded of this saying that I found on my friend Sola's twitter feed and copied it onto mine:

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." Hugh Downs

My attitude is positive, full of hope, determined, ready to face whatever comes....and although this is hard, I know joy.

Choosing Positivity & Truth In The Dark Times

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:03:00 +0000

This morning I woke up and really didn't want to get out of bed. My situation was weighing heavy and I could have cried buckets of tears...some self pity, some anger, some frustration, some unbelievably sad.

As I lay there making the decision that I was going to get up, Jeremiah 29 came to my mind: "I have plans. You have a hope & a future." Then I thought, a bit sarcastically, "Yep, whatever" followed swiftly by "Sorry God." I was in the shower and this verse popped into my mind "My yoke is easy and my burden is light".

Whoever says God doesn't speak to us is bonkers!

I still felt the weight of my situation as I walked out the door to go to work. I still felt tired. I still felt low. But I had a hope in my Spirit & in my heart. It was a busy day but the weight lifted through the day. I inadvertently encouraged a couple of people through speaking out the two verses God spoke to me early this morning.

The choice to focus on the truths of the Word of God made my heart lighter, my mind lighter, my spirit lighter as the day progressed.

Every reaction, every thought, every action is a choice. Even in the dark times we can choose well and when we choose well in the dark times, we see God lift us above our situations.

Then tonight I listened again to Micheal Ross Watson's wonderful, inspiring preach from Sunday. Such profound yet ridiculously simple truth. Food for my spirit, my soul, my heart. Why not listen to it and be inspired?

MICHEAL ROSS WATSON'S PREACH

The Reality Of Debt

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:23:00 +0000

Whoever says debt is good is a liar. The truth is debt is a huge weight attached to us.

There are many financial institutions who would have us believe that we can have as much money as we like to make better lives for ourselves. And we can have this money quickly sometimes interest free, before pay day (some with a 2000+% interest rate!!), seemingly with no penalties. BIG FAT HAIRY HUFFIN' LIES!

Thankfully I never took a 'pay day loan' but I have credit card debts and an overdraft debt (yes, overdrafts are debts).

This year I've tried to live in a better more Godly way, a way in which I know He would be proud of me (and that's what matters to me most). I want to live a life where nothing can be & no-one can call any part of my life into question. This, I believe, is part of Noah's being successful although my dependence is entirely on God for Noah's. I still have to do my part.

Part of living a better life has been trying to deal with my finances in a better way even with a lower income. Success & failure have happened and God has provided miraculously at different times in the year. I have a better paid job now and I absolutely love it & I have great work colleagues! And I've realised that I'm really good at it too! Big confidence builder after stuff that happened with someone in my previous role at Starbucks.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that God loves me more than I could ever know and it's with the confidence of this utterly deep seated truth that I've taken a step to get debt free once & for all...and signed up with Christians Against Poverty (CAP).

When I met with my debt coach for the first time to put all the figures down on paper for CAP to take away, it seemed manageable and it wouldn't be too painful. This week, after CAP had done all their calculations, I sat down with the debt coach and we went through the new budget.

*I've been sat for the last half hour wondering how to write the next lines.*

The news isn't good and although I sat with the debt coach and was positive, it's been a huge shock & reality check. As well as shock, I've gotten angry with myself for getting in this position, and there have been a few moments of fear over the week. I've felt subdued although my happy face has stayed, which is a testament to the change God has brought about in me (previously it would've been all over my face & demeanour and would have been the be all & end all). The black & white fact is that it will take 18 years and 5 months to get out of debt with the level of income that I have now. No, I don't have tens of thousands of pounds worth of debt. In fact it's less that £6,500 (that's bad enough!). It's simply that my income pays the necessary bills (mortgage, utilities, food, insurances etc). I've realised that I wasn't budgeting correctly and hadn't put in items that I need to have in there. And the stupid thing is that I can accurately budget for a business, for a catering event, for anything else except myself!

So, what now? Honestly, I need to do some serious thinking and praying as well as work with the budget I've been given (and that's started already). If you aren't able to clear your debts within 5 years CAP start to look at bankruptcy & insolvency. This option is a very serious option and, if taken, will have consequences with Noah's. At this point, I don't know what is going to happen and can't answer the 'what are you going to do' question. I have no clue how I'm going to do Christmas just yet but I'll work it out with CAP and be honest with those on my Christmas list. And I am asking God for a miracle while putting in the hard work I need to put in.

I don't write this entry with any sense of pride...far from it in fact. I hope that when others read it, be it now or in the future, they will know that there is hope in the middle of debt and God doesn't stop loving us just because we screw up. We may have to face up to our situations and work hard to deal with them but it's possible to stop debt having a hold on our lives and to live in freedom.

While I've been thinking about my situation and going over things, one song has kept on coming onto my ipod. I decided to put together a little montage of images that help me see God in the middle of my situation. Hope you enjoy it too.

You Twit Face

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:14:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago Rosie D and I went to a conference on social media & how to use it effectively in churches, charities & businesses. It was an interesting day and I came away with lots to help not only Kerith but also Noah's...and great to spend some time with Rosie. The day was split into various seminars & talks. Let's just say we didn't really stop for the whole day, very fast paced. As always, trying to find the time to process everything is a battle but here's a few things I came away with:

BUILDING & SPREADING A BRAND

"Our brand is about who we are and how we behave not just about visuals."

"Any fool can put on a deal, but it takes genius, faith & perseverance to create a brand."

"People identify with people."

TWITTER

"It's not about how many followers you have but the quality of conversation."

"Having an egg avatar is as bad as wearing socks with sandals." (This made me laugh!)

"Be authentic."

FACEBOOK

"Be fun, have a sense of humour & be authentic."

FB Statistics

Over 800 million users worldwide

50% of active users log in daily worldwide

2 billion posts liked & commented on daily worldwide

30 million users in the UK (49% of the total population)

1 million new users in the UK each month

Average session time in the UK = 22 minutes

It was great to have the opportunity to see new things, learn new things (although Rosie & I realised we are ahead of the game in many areas already - nice to know) & meet new people. It was interesting to see that there were a lot of 'older' folk there from various denominations of church.

One of the quirkiest things that I would never have expected to see at a social media conference was......a nun! Since the conference I've been following her on Twitter (@digitalnun) and love her perspective & thoughts (although I don't agree with a lot in regards to the Catholic faith). You can read an interview with her HERE.

I also came across 'Igniter Media'. So to finish this blog entry here are a few of their videos from Youtube:

36 years and 364 days

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 16:36:00 +0000

Today I am 36 years & 364 days old. Tomorrow I'll head into the one & only year I'll have as a 37 year old...and I'm excited!

I love birthdays! I figure there is nothing I can do about getting older so I'm just going to enjoy every birthday that comes and every day in between.

I've already done some celebrating with friends last night & this morning. Tomorrow will be a very relaxed day....a bit of a lie in, opening gifts, maybe a cooked breakfast, a walk in the woods around where I live (I love Autumn!), at some point heading to the cinema (got a 40% off ticket voucher - nice one!) and a very nice dinner at home in the evening (my favourite all time dinner). At some point chatting to my family. A simple, quiet day. Lovely :0)

I've been thinking about what I'd like year 37 to hold & thought I'd post it here so I can look back as year 38 begins in October 2012 and see what God has done.

More than anything, I want my faith to deepen and to always remain thankful & positive. I know it grows on a daily basis through everything that happens (good & bad).
I'd love to meet 'my husband' this year. I'm thankful for the lovely guys I've met this year & the friendships that have developed. We all need good friends! As always, I hold this very lightly because I know it's possible for it to become the 'be all & end all'....and it can be a distraction from all the amazing things life has to offer.
I want to see Noah's open. This means a huge amount of hard work, God bringing partners alongside, favour with the property owners, and masses of patience.
I want to see total & complete healing from the issue with my liver. I firmly and completely believe this is possible because of what Jesus did on the cross. The Bible says that healing is mine. Trusting God fully in this.
I want to be debt free. My debts are my own doing and I take full & complete responsibility for them. Truthfully, they've held me back for long enough & I want to move freely in life. Making the decision to seek help from CAP hasn't been an easy one but it's the right decision (learning to bury my pride!). Let's see what happens! It's exciting :0)

So, year 37 here I come! Looking forward to another 12 months of life given by my creator.

Fourteen

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 18:44:00 +0000

As an introvert one of the ways I re-energise is to spend time alone, in the quiet, in the beautiful countryside. I love to be in the silence where all I can hear is my heart beating, the quietness of my thoughts, the gentle voice of God as He speaks.

And I get the opportunity to do that this coming week. Not only do I have week off, but one of the fabulous resources my church offers through two wonderful ladies with a heart for women to connect with God, is something called 'Fourteen'.

Here's what it's all about:

Come and spend a special time of reflection in a quiet and supportive environment with the added bonus of lunch prepared for you.

Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and rest a while. Mark 6:31

This is a day for you - time for rest and enjoyment, for personal reflection and prayer.

Drinks will be served from 9.30am. At 10am there will be an introduction with some suggested ideas and resources for you to use during the day. A light lunch will be served between the morning and afternoon quiet sessions. We will draw the day to a close together at 3pm and finish at 3.30pm.

Hot and cold drinks will be available throughout the day.

You might like to bring:

Your Bible, books to read, a note book
and pen, your comfy garden chair
or rug, paint box, camera or knitting
whatever will help you to relax!

Fourteen is to be held in:

The Garden Room,
The Barn House,
Waterloo Road, Wokingham,
Berkshire RG40 3BY

There are fourteen places available for the day and places are allocated on a first come, first served basis.
To book please call Elizabeth Pudner on
home 0118 979 0099 mobile 0798 1756828
email elizabethpudner@hotmail.com

There is no charge for the day but a donation basket will be available to cover the cost of lunch.

I've had the privilege of being at two of these days and they have been wonderful! There is no time pressure, no peer pressure, no personal pressure, just time to stop. And I've heard God on both occasions.

So there are several dates coming up, the first of which is this Tuesday (11th October). Why not get yourself booked in for this week and spend some quality time on you....and your relationship with God. I promise you won't regret it.

If you can't make this Tuesday, how about booking in for one of the following dates: 18th October, 8th November or 15th November. Sit snuggled up in front of a fire, talk a walk in the beautiful grounds, who knows what will happen as you sit at His feet......

'No' is a good word

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 14:27:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think my diary / calendar is against me. It doesn't seem to have enough dates in it and the hours seems to be shortened too. I could do with a 14 day week & 48 hour day.

I've realised with trying to set up Noah's I just don't have the time to do all the things that I'm asked to do and would want to do. I'm also aware that it's important to rest well and to make sure I don't go more than 10 days without a day off from both my day job & my evening job (Noah's).

There are two quotes that I've seen lately from one of my favourite people, Christine Caine, which have stuck in my mind:

"You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself ..."

"If you are burning the candle at both ends you are probably not quite as bright as you think ... "

So I've decided that I'm going to have to start using the word I don't like to use....'no' *shudder*. There are some really exciting things coming up that I've rightly said yes to and I know I'm going to love doing them but there will be no new commitments for the rest of this year.

We'll see how that goes when the first request comes in.... ;0)

Chicago #2: Vulnerability & Humility

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 19:53:00 +0000

Silence your body to listen to your words,
Silence your tongue to listen to your thoughts,
Silence your thoughts to listen to your heart,
Silence your heart to listen to your spirit,
Silence your spirit to listen to His spirit.
(Mama Maggie Gobran)

Silence is a very powerful thing and something that I value greatly in the noisy world I live in. I'm just coming out of a weekend of silence (no phone, no social media). I realised towards the end of last week that God was trying to get my attention to talk to me about an area of my life where I'm failing & I needed time to listen.

In the silence, I've also taken time to process some of the thoughts from two talks at Chicago which are a really important part of character growth and relevant to what God has been talking to me about this weekend.

Patrick Lencioni

The speaker that took over Howard Schultz's slot at the Summit in Chicago was a man called Patrick Lencioni. When I heard God say 'I have more for you to learn' I had no idea how profound Patrick's talk would be. He started out by saying 'we're getting naked'. He is a funny guy and definitely had me laughing through his talk. At the start of one of the most profound years of my life (2009) I wrote a blog entry called 'Getting Naked', so Patrick had my attention straight away! The talk was actually called 'The Power Of Vulnerability', something I know God has been talking to me about already this year.

Patrick started out with the dictionary definitions of vulnerability and this phrase caught my attention:

"Vulnerability makes you liable for damages and / or huge bonuses."

We tend to focus on the negatives & fears (damages) of being vulnerable (getting naked). So often vulnerability is put across as a sign of weakness, yet it is something from which an enormous amount of strength is gained. Some of the fears Patrick picked up on were:

Being rejected
Being embarrassed
Feeling inferior

Yep, they're the things that have prevented me from being vulnerable in the past & continue to try now. However, there were three things that he also brought out as strengths of being vulnerable:

Celebrate mistakes....acknowledging your humanity
Honouring others
Having a genuine desire to serve, to put yourself in a lower position

I can see that these three strengths have & will produce incredible bonuses personally as well as professionally. The last two are easier now than they've ever been. They come straight from my heart. The first one is a little harder but as I make myself vulnerable about the area of life where I'm failing (acknowledging my humanity) then I'll learn to celebrate my mistakes.

I look forward to reading his book 'Getting Naked' in the coming weeks and seeing the huge bonuses of learning to be vulnerable.

John Dickson

The other talk that I've been processing was by a guy called John Dickson. I've gotta' say that I really didn't take to this guy's style at all. To me, he spoke in a way that came across as arrogant which was quite amusing as his talk was titled 'Humility'. However, he had some wonderful things to say that spoke directly to me.

Humility is:

Common sense
Beautiful
Generative
Persuasive
Inspiring

For anyone who knows me, I value common sense more than intelligence mainly because I was born with a stack of common sense LOL! So, I have much in my favour as I head towards developing humility :0)

All humour aside, 'Humility is generative' really caught my attention. John said:

The generative place is the flourishing place
The generative place is the low place

The silent place is where I re-generate and from where I gain my strength to be generative. The low place is where I learn more & where I can flourish from. It's good to know the soil for humility to grow & develop is watered during weekends like this weekend.

This next week, as I talk to those closest to me about my failure remembering everything that God has said over this weekend, I am going to remember that vulnerability is a place of strength and humility is being given the opportunity to grow. It's from learning now, that I and Noah's will be stronger. I hope that I will be an inspiring leader because of times like this.

Chicago #1: Disappointment & How I Handled It

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:52:00 +0000

I'm going to start the blogging on Chicago with something that I didn't expect....disappointment. Why would I start here? Because what happened was something big for me and I had choices to make in how I handled it.

So, we had lunch on the first day of the Summit and went back into the auditorium for a 'big announcement' from Bill Hybels. I had no idea what it was going to be. What exciting thing was he going to announce? Take a look at the announcement video below:

So, you can imagine, my mind was whirling. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I'm sure Bill Hybels battled with disappointment too. Howard Schultz was my main reason (before I learned Steven Furtick was also going to be there too) for wanting to attend the Summit. Having worked for the great company that is Starbucks and read his new book 'Onward', I was ready to learn more from a man that I respect as a great business leader. Howard Schultz made some very brave business decisions when he saw his company declining & he (along with his team) brought Starbucks in the USA back to what it is all about...great coffee. I couldn't (and still don't to a degree) understand the supposed 'business' decision to bow to the pressure of 717 people and let down an audience of 150,000+ worldwide. I have since read that there are other things happening with Starbucks to do with the LBGT community that may have affected this decision.

I really battled with disappointment, frustration & anger at Howard Schultz, the (in my opinion) poor business decision he & his team had made, and (in some ways) at God for allowing me to be so excited at the thought of seeing & hearing one of my heroes, Howard Schultz, in the flesh.

I did say to myself and then on Twitter that God must have something better....but I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling it so much!

The next morning I was praying in my room and just said to God that I was choosing to believe that there was something better for that day. Again, I still wasn't feeling it but I was continuing to choose positivity.

We headed off to the Willow campus and, after finding our seats, I headed off for a coffee at Dr B's and walked around the site just watching people, checking out the book store & having some quiet time with me, myself & I. Just before I went back into the auditorium I stood looking over the balcony into the entrance area and as clear as day heard God say to me:

"You've learned everything you need to from Howard Schultz & Starbucks. I know you're disappointed but I've got more for you to learn."

Then I was filled with 'the peace that passes all understanding'. I can't explain it but it happened. That's how I know it was God speaking. I walked back into the auditorium feeling like a new person and ready for a new day of learning.

In a nutshell the learning point is:

"In life we are going to be disappointed but it is how we deal with the disappointment that matters."

Howard Schultz's book 'Onward' is a great read and has some great business & leadership principles within its pages. I honestly heartily recommend it to everyone. I also loved walking into the various Starbucks in & around Chicago, giving them my order (which is not straight forward) and the baristas not flinching at all...and my drink was perfect! For anyone interested, my order is a 'double tall, 3 pump vanilla, 25% foam, caramel macchiato'.

Oh, and as asked by Bill Hybels, I'm still drafting my encouraging & loving email to Howard Schultz. My hope is that he will be blown away (in a great way) by it when he receives it.

I have so much more about Chicago that I'll be blogging in the coming days & weeks....and it's all positive! :0)

Some thoughts before heading to Chicago

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 11:54:00 +0000

I'm sat here quietly thinking & praying before we fly to Chicago tomorrow. I've been (and am!) so excited about this trip. The fact that it's happening at all is a miracle. People have invested in me and made it possible. I am so very thankful to have this opportunity.

So what are my thoughts:

Who will I meet?
What conversations am I going to have?
How is this going to impact Noah's and moving it forward?
What is God going to talk to me about? I find this one really exciting!
Am I going to meet my husband on this trip? I know this one's a bit 'left field'.
Will I get to a ball game?

What am I looking forward to?

I'm looking forward to getting to know people in the group better
I'm looking forward to getting to know new people
I'm looking forward to meeting up with the Dr B's manager & staff
I'm looking forward to hearing great teaching from the Bible & from business people
I'm looking forward to hearing Howard Schultz & Steven Furtick speak (2 of my key influencers)
I'm looking forward to great movies on the plane
I'm looking forward to great new coffees...as well as good old Starbucks :0)
I'm looking forward to maybe having authentic American BBQ food...pulled pork, cornbread...yum!
I'm looking forward to hearing peoples stories
I'm looking forward to hearing & getting closer to God through everything that happens
I'm looking forward to some sightseeing
I'm looking forward to seeing the phenomenon that is Willow Creek
I'm looking forward to the few quiet moments I'll have to reflect & re-energise (and these will be important!)

Everything in me is ready for this trip & experience. I'm nervous & excited. I've packed my tissues because I have a feeling this trip is going to be an emotional one...possibly overwhelming at times.

I'm relaxed. I'm ready. I'm open.

This Is Church by Dave Betts

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 09:04:00 +0000

So, I read this blog entry by a friend of mine early this morning & thought it summed up perfectly what the church of today is. Enjoy reading it :0)

Dave Betts on Church