A theme is starting: classic TV theme songs to use for our opening. Next week: Flintstones? I Love Lucy? Jay’s directorial debut: Jordan Frye’s music video for Holiday. We’ve come to a realization; we’re not productive enough to use productivity tools. James’ amateur sci-fi writing. Jay’s glowing review of Angelology: like Dan Brown without all the comma splices. The technology review for which you’ve been holding your breath: the Ruy Lopez Show reviews the iPad. But if anyone’s willing to donate an iPad so we can conduct a full investigation we’ll accept it.

An ill advised venture into Yahoo’s other game choices. We stumble upon Literati and forever regret it. Let’s see how long it takes two relatively technologically-inclined individuals to open Yahoo’s Literati game. We find our favorite songs/artists. Or at least the ones we’re least willing to skip. The first Scrabble word in the Ruy Lopez Show’s history: “ZOOM.” The second: “ZOOMED.” We’re off to an exciting start. Jay HATES Radiohead (in 2005 at least) but loves Damien Rice. James’ love for Bon Iver knows no bounds: he’s spent almost 8 and a half hours listening to Skinny Love alone. Jay should join the cast of CSI. His skills at deducing are impressive.

Jay is lost in the internet somewhere; James finishes off the show solo with a recommendation and a song.

Songs: Beach House, Zebra; The Frames, Lay Me Down; Bon Iver, Skinny Love

Sorry James.  Thanks for putting the site together, recording and editing the podcasts, and posting them online.

Jay

A show in the academic sense. Where to start? Jay is absent, James forgot his laptop and attempts multiple devices for recording/Skype, all of which fail miserably. But when it comes down to it, Josh’s internet connection is the true culprit. At least that’s what I’m sticking with. Our music is extra low-key because of our sadness concerning our technical woes.

Jay’s intro is stolen from another show in his absence. Josh and James are talking about a fantasy baseball draft. We never mentioned that. Context, people. Who needs it?

Josh hates NCAA basketball and all it stands for. He also has weird hangups about tiny technology. Why do evil masterminds need large rooms with lots of blinking lights anyway? Isn’t an inconspicuous iPad all the better for evil-doing?

Josh invents a word: Jiggabytes. Some presidential trivia: Taft was both a baseball fan AND large enough to require a custom bathtub. A quick ending. Like a band-aid. Just rip it off.

Songs: Beirut, Elephant Gun; Balmorhea, Bowsprit; Clogs, Last Song

SPIEGEL: Mr Carlsen, what is your IQ?

Carlsen: I have no idea. I wouldn’t want to know it anyway. It might turn out to be a nasty surprise.

SPIEGEL: Why? You are 19 years old and ranked the number one chess player in the world. You must be incredibly clever.

Carlsen: And that’s precisely what would be terrible. Of course it is important for a chess player to be able to concentrate well, but being too intelligent can also be a burden. It can get in your way. I am convinced that the reason the Englishman John Nunn never became world champion is that he is too clever for that.

SPIEGEL: How that?

Carlsen: At the age of 15, Nunn started studying mathematics in Oxford; he was the youngest student in the last 500 years, and at 23 he did a PhD in algebraic topology. He has so incredibly much in his head. Simply too much. His enormous powers of understanding and his constant thirst for knowledge distracted him from chess.

Go here for more (via Kottke)

View the chess game.

Jay brings back the ripped-off opening. We have poor grammar so you don’t have to. Said the gramophone is kind of a weird music blog. Good music, gross elephant death pictures. Leads to Jay’s story about navy-assassinated beached whales; perhaps the first use of the word bejesus in the Ruy Lopez show. Whale sushi: tasty and illegal.

Let’s get this baby named Megatron. Because if there’s anything we need, it’s a human being named Megatron. Obama at Arcadia: Jay confuses Obama with Jesus again. The real story behind the castle at Arcadia because James obviously doesn’t know the story. A brand new Arctic Anecdote! No cannibalism this time but Lady Jane Franklin instead.

James gets checkmated for the second show in a row and feels badly after being compared to a non-housebroken canine. The food on Top Chef: is it really any good? How much polenta, gnocchi and ceviche can people really eat? The funniest person on Twitter according to the experts. Jay reveals disturbing information about the twitter trending topics in LA. The joke from one of Jay’s children is back, but Grayson has been replaced by Alice.

Songs: Horse Feathers, Curs in the Weeds; Dan Miles, All This Work For Love; Broken Records, Lies

And by “support” we mean morally, not financially.

Check him out at on twitter and his website.  Good luck Ben. As we like to say at the Ruy Lopez Show. He goes to the North Pole in a fast and solo manner, so you don’t have to.

And an aside, we’re the 11th result on Bing. Well guess what, Bing? We don’t like you either.

Listen to it.

A recap: the most dramatic podcast opening ever. For the life-changingest podcast ever. Thanks to Jordan Frye for allowing us to play an unreleased song. What better way to launch yourself into the internet stratosphere than the Ruy Lopez Show?

Jay and James play chess. They shake off the rust of the last four years; Jay has faired well over the hiatus. James, not so much. Probably the first chess game in history against two self-proclaimed chess nerds where one player ends with three queens. “Highlights” of the past four years. Note the “highlights” in quotes.

We briefly discuss Mitt Romney’s fists and dog. Mos Def, Rusted Root, or The Swell Season? Which would you go see?

Our new voicemail number: 41928-LOPEZ. Leave us a voicemail. We’ll play it on the next show. Promise. Let’s work on putting us back at number one on Google’s results for “Ruy Lopez”. Search for it, find us, and click on us. Does the attempt to group-spell Daedelus remind anyone else of Lake Winnipesaukee?

Songs: Jordan Frye, Holiday; Hoquiam, Zombies of the Sea; Unbunny, In A Way; Daedelus, Order of the Golden Dawn

Or if by some bizarre random occurance a chess-loving artist happens across our site, send us an mp3 at ruylopezshow [at] gmail.com. We can’t guarantee that we’ll like it, but we’ll certainly play it on the show even if only to mock your abilities. But hey, any publicity is good publicity, right?