Ryan Cook -Real Life

What do your kids watch on TV?

2009-11-13T08:13:40-07:00

The local news did an interview w/ our MOP's (mother's of preschooler's) group at GJFA about what they let there kids watch on tv.

Here is the interview for your viewing pleasure....

If you are receiving this in an RSS email feed and can not view the video, log onto www.ryancook.net to view.

100 Year Grid

2009-11-11T08:57:07-07:00

(Special thanks to Pastor Craig Groeschel for the following perspective.)

When I’m tempted to complain, it’s very helpful to run my potential complaint through the grid of 100 years.

Size up the situation, consider the ramifications, and ask honestly:
Will this matter in a hundred years?

If the answer is no, let it go.
If it’s yes, do something about it.
Either way, complaining is not an option.

The majority of the things I complain about are related to my temporary comfort, not eternal realities. There’s no need complaining about something that will have no impact in 3 weeks. A lot of the things I complain about won’t even matter 3 minutes from now.

Will it matter in a hundred years? Probably not.

So why waste a complaint? You’ve got more enduring work to do.

www.ryancook.net

Think Like an Exerciser

2009-11-10T13:41:09-07:00

Snagged this blog from my buddy Adrian's site: Life.Health.Wellness. This is pretty good, worth a read if you are on the fence about exercising, this may help give you that extra push.... enjoy!

If you’re trying to lose weight or stick to a consistent exercise program, what you may notice is how many things stand in the way of your goals. How are you supposed to exercise when you have to meet with a client, run the kids to the dentist, cut the grass, go to church, watch your favorite TV show and take out the trash? What you may not realize is that fitting in exercise is a matter of how you think and not what’s on your schedule. Thinking like an exerciser can increase your odds of success and put you in the right frame of mind for making the choice to exercise.  1. Look for opportunities, not excuses. While a non-exerciser may look at situations like traveling or working late as reasons to skip their workouts, exercisers actually seek out ways to exercise, even if it seems impossible.  Imagine a non-exerciser and an exerciser on a business trip: The Non-Exerciser packs their workout clothes, thinking, "Maybe if I get a break, I’ll squeeze in a workout." My husband, a frequent flyer, says what that translates to is, "I’m bringing my workout clothes so I’ll feel good about myself, but I’ll never actually wear them." The Exerciser packs their workout clothes, thinking, "I have meetings all day, so I’ll get up extra early and get in a short workout beforehand." There’s no ‘maybe’ about it, even if it means working out at a time that isn’t comfortable. What the exerciser knows is that they have to commit to their workouts, even if their schedule works against them. The exerciser is willing to make the effort, even if it means a workout session that isn’t ideal. How to Think Like an Exerciser:  

• Act as if exercise is a priority. Is exercise an afterthought? Something you only do when everything goes as planned? If so, practice putting it at the top of your to-do list. How would you plan your day if you knew you had to work everything else around your workouts? Just changing how you think about exercise can change whether actually do it. Act as if everything counts. New or non-exercisers often think they have to do a certain type of workout (e.g., lung-busting workouts that last for three hours) for it to ‘count.’ Exercisers count everything, whether it’s a few jumping jacks or pushups in a hotel room or taking a brisk walk during a lunch break.

• Plan ahead. Rather than waiting for the perfect time to exercise, work with the schedule you already have. Even if you can only find 10 minutes, you’ll burn calories and improve your health much more than if you didn’t move at all.

2. View exercise as a necessity rather than an indulgence. Another difference between how exercisers and non-exercisers think is how they perceive exercise. A non-exerciser may see it as a chore, something that takes away from the rest of her day. An exerciser, on the other hands, looks at her workouts as a necessity – something she needs to make her day better. Imagine an exerciser and a non-exerciser facing an unexpected visit from a mother-in-law: The Non-Exerciser panics and thinks, "There’s no way I can exercise if she’s coming. How will I have the time to iron the sheets, drink a bottle of wine and scrub the floors with a toothbrush?"

The Exerciser panics and thinks, "I will never get my guilt-deflectors working if I don’t exercise. I better squeeze in a quick run and, if the house isn’t clean enough, I’ll just start a small fire to distract her."  How to Think Like an Exerciser

• Think of exercise as your energy source. Believe it or not, taking time out to exercise can actually give you more energy and focus for your day.

• Take advantage of your workout time. When you have a busy day or an unexpected visitor, your workout time may be the only quiet time you get. Taking a walk or run will give your mind, and stress levels, a break and you’ll be better prepared for what’s to come.

• Learn how to motivate yourself. Exercisers find motivation rather than waiting for it to happen. If you've got a lot to do, use that as an impetus to get moving. The stronger you are and the more endurance you have, the more you can get done.

3. Find ways to move all day long. Non-exercisers and exercisers alike tend to spend a lot of time sitting each day, but many exercisers find ways to be active above and beyond their regular exercise routines. Whether it's taking more walks, parking at the end of the parking lot or taking the stairs at work, exercisers know that any movement can generate more energy and momentum.  Imagine an exerciser and a non-exerciser facing a flight delay:  The Non-Exerciser stays at the gate, thinking, "I better save my strength to fight the other passengers for overhead bin space. I already have my eye on that woman and her giant suitcase."

The Exerciser grabs their bag and starts walking, thinking, "I'm going to be on that plane for at least two hours and probably squished in the middle seat between two linebackers. Better get a walk in while I can."  How to Think Like an Exerciser

• Stand up. Sitting can actually shut down your metabolism. Stand up whenever you can – while on the phone, watching TV, opening your mail or taking a break from work.

• Invent reasons to move. Leave something in your car and take the stairs to get it. Make a rule that you have to walk around the parking lot at work three times before you can go in. Sit on an exercise ball when you're at the computer or watching TV. Eventually, these movements become habits and, before you know it, you're moving more than you're sitting.

• Wear a pedometer. Pedometers can actually increase activity, motivating you to walk more just to see how many steps you can take.

4. Look at Exercise as a tool for getting what you want. Exercisers know that working out isn't just for weight loss, but a tool they can use to find balance, more time for the things they enjoy and a way to keep up with life with fewer injuries, illnesses and other things that keep them from functioning at their best.  Imagine an exerciser and a non-exerciser with a tight, aching back after a long day at work:  The Non-Exerciser is exhausted and decides to skip their planned workout, thinking, "My back hurts, so I probably shouldn't exercise. I'll just go home and put my feet up, which will allow my husband to attend to my needs more easily."

The Exerciser is exhausted, but decides to go through with his workout, thinking, "My back hurts from sitting for too many hours and my butt is starting to look a lot like my office chair. A workout will loosen things up and keep me from completely falling apart."  How to Think Like an Exerciser

• View exercise as a timesaver. While you may see exercise as something that takes away from your time, it can actually save you time in the long run. A little exercise every day can help manage aches and pain, fatigue and offer protection from more serious illnesses like diabetes and cancer. If your schedule is overloaded, wouldn't you rather spend a little time each day exercising rather than hours in a doctor's waiting room, a hospital or in line for a prescription you might be able to avoid?

• View exercise as a sanity-saver. Exercise is one of the few activities you can do that can increase your confidence, boost your mood and make you feel good about yourself all at the same time. It can also help manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. If you have trouble getting started, think about how you'll feel at the end of your workout.

• View exercise as a body-saver. If you have an aching back or tight shoulder muscles, you may mistakenly think you need more rest, when what your body craves is movement. In fact, exercise is a great way to manage and prevent back pain along with the other aches and pains that happen when we sit for hours at a time.

Shifting your thinking from a non-exerciser's point of view to an exerciser's point of view isn't easy. It requires looking at your daily tasks and choices with a different attitude and an eye toward your overall goals in life -- feeling good, having more energy and getting satisfaction out of your accomplishments. Fitting in exercise isn't just a function of weight loss, but a way to improve your overall quality of life. Changing how you think may be your first step in changing how live for the better.

www.ryancook.net

Difference Between Good & Great Leading

2009-10-26T09:12:00-06:00

I shared this w/ one of our leadership teams at GJFA the other day, and thought I'd share it w/ you. Some of it was copied, some is mine. Use it if you like.

The Difference Between Good and Great Leading-

Great leaders are shaped and formed in the trenches while most good leaders are born good leaders.

The difference between the 2 is a very thin and fluxuating line.

Great leaders are shaped out of 4 experiences: call, style, skill set, and context in which you see yourself. – when a leader’s call, style and skill set fit the context, the stage is set for a great leader. Opposite, sometimes the stage is set for this, but we never make the transition from good to great. Nothing bad w/ being a good leader, but if you want to make the transition, whether in church ministry or in the work field- . Let’s discuss the diff-

Great leaders challenge the prevailing rules about how to conduct ministry, while good leaders work w/ the cards that are dealt. Great leaders are never content w/ the status quo, they always have a holy discontent w/ the way things are. They know that man-made rules are made to be broken because there is always a better way.

Attitude- Today’s attitude gives me possibilities-

· My attitude when I begin a task affects the outcome more than anything else.

· My attitude towards others often determines their attitude towards me.

· My attitude, not my achievements, give me happiness.- Money will not give you happiness and debt will make you unhappy.

· My attitude- good or bad- is contagious.

Great leaders intuitively read the signs of the times while good leaders struggle to make sense out of the moment. One of the reasons good leaders never achieve greatness is because they’re to busy, preoccupied, making stuff out of nothing, doing things that don’t mean much to the big picture. They don’t take time or sit still long enough to hear. So they fail to see what God is trying to accomplish.

Today’s priorities give me focus.

· Time is our most precious commodity.

· We cannot manage time, we only manage priorities.

· We cannot change time, only our priorities.

· Priorities help us to choose wisely.

Most great leaders are constantly recreating their leadership to fit the times, while most good leaders tend to rely on past performance. Well it worked back at so and so, it worked 10 years ago, 5 years ago isn’t even acceptable. It’s much harder for a person to remain a great leader in times like today w/ such exponential change in every aspect of life and leadership.

Today’s health gives tomorrow’s strength-

· Lasting leaders recognize their body is a vehicle that carries them to their mission.

· Proper diet and exercise provide the energy to lead well over the long haul.

· Your physical health will impact your spiritual stamina and perspective.

Great leaders see no limits of what God can do thru them. They rely on God for the impossible, while most good leaders try to calculate what is possible. Great leaders know that the only way to know the limit of possibility is by pushing it to the impossible. Great leaders know that we don’t need God for the possible, we find God in what is thought impossible. If it’s possible, possibly we are doing it on our own.

Great leaders are willing to ‘ready, fire, aim’ while good leaders always want to have everything in place before they fire. Great leaders are always laying it on the line, stepping out where most people fear to go.

Your commitment will be tested everyday, that’s just how it is, BUT, Staying committed helps you overcome many of life’s obstacles.

Great leaders are passionately focused on a few things and flexible on everything else, while good leaders try to wrap their hearts and minds around too many things.

Great leaders empower others; good leaders delegate ministry to others. Good leaders are always trying to accomplish more.

Delegate: a person acting on behalf of another

Empower: to give official power to or legal authority.

Today’s family gives me stability

Families are often lost- spent as the price for successful ministries & businesses- make time for your spouse and kids-

If the part of your home that you lead is not ‘in order’ you cannot expect to lead others.

Success is having those closet to me, love and respect me the most.- You can not come in here, lead others and then go home and act an entire different way.

Pray w/ your spouses. Just heard today 65% men & 55% women upto age 40 commit adultery. They didn’t plan on it, sin crept in…. I challenge you, what’s on your TV? Desperate housewives, sex in the city, shows that glamorize adultery and immorality?

Leadership isn’t about getting people to do what you want them to do; great leadership is about helping people achieve what God created them to be.

The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is how they think. What do you think about? God is the source of great ideas!!

If you are in are part of this ministry and it is a huge burden, maybe this is not what God called you to be involved in. Find a spot where you are happy and like doing what you do and where you get the most fulfillment; that’s where you are supposed to be.

Great leaders are like scouts and coaches than player. They’re constantly looking for talented, passionate leaders who have the potential to be great, while most good leaders are focused on the fullfilment of a particular ministry.

If you want to be great, empower people to reach their potential.

Great leaders surround themselves w/ good leaders, while good leaders surround themselves w/ people of lesser skills.

This shows extreme insecurities. Afraid someone is going to take your job or think you cant do it. This is where we need to show and exude confidence, not to be mixed w/ arrogant or cockiness.

Some leaders spend to much time focused on problem people or needy people and overlook the other 99% . Sure, these people need help, but the leader doesn’t have to run around and help and clean all the messes, empower others to help others.

Today relationships give me fulfillment.

· You’ll enjoy life more if you enjoy people.

· You’ll get further in life if people enjoy you.

· Most people can trace their success and failures to relationships in their life.

Great leaders are made by how they create or respond to the context in which they find themselves. Buckle up and get yourself in a context where you can become all that God has made you to be. If you’re not in the right context, find the one that fits you. Don’t settle for ‘whatever’.

Time is short, most the time we only have one shot at this.

www.ryancook.net

Pooping 2.0

2009-10-21T09:55:02-06:00

Yes, you read the title correctly.

I stumbled across through a couple friends of mine. They are both highly knowledgeable about fitness and beyond.

The first one is Adrian Robles, an old high school friend I graduated the same year w/ but went to different school. His blogsite is http://adriancpt1.blogspot.com stop by and check it out sometime.

The other guy I snagged this video from is Sean Croxton, his website is http://undergroundwellness.com/blog Underground Wellness takes a holistic, functional approach to rebuilding health from the ground up.

How well are you pooping? As Sean Croxton of Underground Wellness says, "Long-term digestive dysfunction is a tremendous stress on the body, causing poor nutrient absorption, autointoxication, immune system compromise, and adrenal burnout."

This video is funny but full of tidbits of info on pooping- Here's a video of Sean in action giving you the "low down" on 'Poopin' 2.0- Enjoy

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Guard Your Marriage

2009-10-20T18:38:37-06:00

Recently I have been hearing a lot about divorce, adultery, cheating, immorality and so on. All over TV and billboards you sex being glamorized. Just today, a friend of mine came and talk about this messy subject of affairs and adultery that he was in the middle of.

Look at this heart wrenching, staggering stat- 65% of men and 55% of women will commit adultery by age 40. That is so sad!

I heard a message the other day about this subject and want to hit some points and add some of my own to it.

5 Ways to wreck your marriage-

Neglect your marriage

Start w/ yourself and your body

Give majority of energy to something else besides your marriage

No relational intimacy- no sex- if so, by all means, make it boring and as predictable as you possibly can

Enjoy common interests & form an emotional bond w/ someone else besides your spouse

Projects at work, co-ed sports, training at the gym

Try to relate to them and tell them things about your spouse you don’t like

Anticipate your time together w/ another

Extra cologne/perfume, make excuses to leave the house

Flirt w/ others

Email, FB and text them

Make sure you delete all communication between you 2 so spouse doesn’t find out

Leave notes, touch, joke w/ one another

Make excuses and rationalize your actions

Lie and deceive your spouse

By all means, God wants you to be happy!

Now that I have your attention, lets talk about this subject!

People never intend to commit adultery, it happens subtly.

Do whatever it takes to radically reduce and remove the risks.

God’s line w/ adultery isn’t just the act of, we think “well, we are friends, we haven’t crossed the sex line yet” but God’s line starts w/ our eyes, heart and mind. Check out Matt 5:28.

Guard your heart, eyes and mind.

Listen, if you kept a video log w/ all your interactions w/ other people through out the day, whether same or opposite sex and showed it to your spouse, would you be proud of how you behaved?

If emails, FB, and texts were fair game and you didn’t delete them, would you be able to say you treated others w/ integrity and not be ashamed of what they saw? Or would you say YIKES, I wouldn’t want them to see how I gave this other person so much attention, or when I got w/ m buddies/girlfriends, how we talked about others of the opposite sex.

5 ways to help your relationship w/ your spouse-

Keep a growing relationship w/ Christ. When you neglect your relationship w/ Christ, things go downhill.

Never be alone w the wrong people. Who ever that may be, same or opposite sex. What’s the appearance seem to be?

Never talk badly about your marriage w/ the wrong people. Find another married couple to talk to

Surround yourself w/ strong marriages

Avoid all inappropriate place and situations. Ex old flames looking you up on fb or texting- don’t let it happen. Don’t put yourself or your spouse in that situation

· Avoid ALL appearance of evil.

If you have a job that puts you in bad situations, then quit. It’s easier to find another job than another father or mother to your children. True-life example- I have a buddy that got a job. I mentioned my concerns, he started anyways. The first day of training he went home, talked to his wife about it, listened to his wife’s views, went back and quit the job. He didn’t want to be put in any situation that could possibly lead to something else. Was he weak? HECK NO, he was avoiding the situation, guarding himself, and heeding the advice of his wife. Smart man and I respect him for that move!

Do what it takes to invest in your own marriage. When the grass looks greener on the other side, it’s time to water your own yard!

Your marriage takes work. After going on 18 years, I think Renee and I’s marriage is stronger now than it’s ever been. Why? Because we have been working on it for a while. It just doesn’t happen. We have open talks about things and situations in our lives.

When we don’t work at it we fail.

4 ways to help our marriage

Get transparent- open up and share your feelings and heart
Get alone w/ each other- no kids or friends
Get spiritual- Best thing that happened w/ Renee and I, we learned to pray together
Get help- if you need help, find it

Adultery can cause devastation and a huge mess. Visualize telling your kids you cant live w/ them anymore. The respect they would lose for you. Telling your spouse who has sacrificed everything for you that you want to be w/ someone else. A person can destroy in 15 minutes what has taken a lifetime to achieve.

When we are unfaithful, God is always faithful.

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The Familiar Road

2009-09-30T10:55:03-06:00

I went through a situation the other day. All the sudden about half way through, I happened to make the decision to retreat back to the place that I knew was familiar to me. It was way to easy to go back to that place. I knew how to get there, and fast, in fact, I think I took a rocket back to that place!

There have been times in all of our lives, when we see a goal clearly, know we want to be there, but maybe we don’t see the roads or paths to get us there.

I have found for myself that many times, I continue to take the comfortable roads I have used and driven down so many times in the past. I know them by heart and could drive them with my eyes closed. The only problem is those same old roads, take me to the same old place. You all know the place that I am talking about. When you catch your breath and ask yourself, ‘how in the world did I get here? I did not want to take this road, I should have exited 10 minutes ago.’

The twist and turns on the new roads may be unfamiliar, and we may have to slow down a bit to navigate this new territory. In fact, we might even need to ask for directions, and pray it’s the right road.

The journey to arrive in a new place in our lives, our relationships, or our achievements is well worth the time. When you see your goal, don't just keep on doing things as normal. Make a road map for yourself, make new decisions, use new attitudes to arrive at your goal. The road well traveled may be familiar, but will just take you to where you have already been.

I encourage you to be deliberate in your decisions. Let God use those closest to you to speak into your lives. The ones that love us the most, know us the best! Don’t be so prideful that you think God won’t or can’t use so and so or such and such.

As a husband or wife or leader, we must be open to this. I got to say this here: In the past week, on 2 different occasions, God has used my oldest son and my wife, both separately, to speak into my life. Did I like it at the moment? No. Was the conversations easy? No. Did I listen? Yes. Was it humbling? Yes. Did I thank them? Yes. Did I fall on my knees and thank God for putting them in my life? Yes. Will it make me a better person in the long run? Yes.

Check your spiritual tires, and fill your biblical tank, and hit the road. There is no end to where God can lead you, when you are willing!

Peace†

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Seared Conscience

2009-09-28T10:49:36-06:00

Dave Roever was our guest this past Sunday He taught a good relevant message.

Here are some notes from it:

Key verse 1 Tim. 4:1- w/ emphasis on the latter part of vs. 2. (1)The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. (2)Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.

What took their pains away?
Pain- no body wants it, no body likes it.
Pain is a gift from God.
Deal w/ the issue or it will eat you up and kill you.
Pain is a warning that something isn’t right.
Frog ex of cold/hot water: they adjust to the temperature and adjust their sensitivity- start in lukewarm water then turn to hot- doesn’t feel heat anymore- boils to death.
Famous sailor- after started sailing ended up on the ‘outer banks’ right next to the shore- “my God, how did we get here.”
His compass was only off by 1 degree.
Over many miles, starting off by 1 degree will land you off by many degrees.
Listened to the wrong voices, when he shouldn’t have set sail.
Ex: on leprosy- rats nibble on fingers because of numbness on hands.
Numbness causes things to fall off.
Sin is to the soul as leprosy is to the hand.
Sin eats away at the conscience until it is seared.

Questions to ask ourselves and think on-

What have you grown numb too?

Is your conscience sensitive to your surroundings?

Are you dealing w/ your pains or pushing them down until they are eating you alive?

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Everybody's A Consultant

2009-09-25T10:16:37-06:00

I have been thinking, pondering and learning from some of these thoughts I read from a blog of Steven Furtiks. Some of this could radically impact our interactions with others. It requires a good dose of humility and teachability. But once you get the hang of it, it will feel second nature. Learning everyday how to be a better leader!

Give everybody in your life the opportunity to be your consultant once in a while.

You’d be surprised how much the people in your life could help you with your situations and dilemmas. But you’ve got to invite the feedback.

Some of the most helpful leadership insights I’ve ever received didn’t come from books or conferences. They materialized when I asked one of these questions to someone close to me:
What do you think I should do in this situation?
Am I missing something here?
How do you see it?
What would you do if you were me?

People don’t want to hear all your aches and pains, so make sure to keep it positive and solution oriented when you involve others in your situations.

If you ask someone to speak into your life, do your best to shut up and say thank you when they’re done. Thank you, and that’s it. Whether you agree or not. Whether you intend to follow the advice or not. If you launch into a 3 minute defense or rebuttal regarding their opinion, why would they open up to you next time you ask? My guess is they won’t.

Weigh the words of those who advise you according to their character and competency. Don’t give equal access to everyone. Be smart about it.

Liabilities aside, almost everyone you interact with has something to teach you. Even when their motives are wrong, or their worldview is different, there’s something to glean.

You can’t trust everyone as a confidant. But you can utilize everyone as a consultant at some level. Ask. Listen. Learn. Implement.

You can learn something from everybody, if you cant, you should question your role as a leader.

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Freeloading Letter

2009-09-17T14:19:26-06:00

I came across this today. There are some things I really like about this letter and the heart of it, but also some things that rub me the wrong way and seem a little harsh.

Ok, I really want some feedback on this and to know what you think. Read this letter in it's entirety before you comment. Log onto www.ryancook.net and click on the comment tab or if you are on fb, you can do it from the comment tab there.

WINSTON-SALEM — Julie and Bob Clark were stunned to receive a letter from their church in

July asking them to "participate in the life of the church" — or worship elsewhere.
    "They basically called us freeloaders," says Julie.
    "We were freeloaders," says Bob.
    In a trend that may signal rough times for wallflower Christians, bellwether mega-church Faith Community of Winston-Salem has asked "non-participating members" to stop attending.
    "No more Mr. Nice Church," says the executive pastor, newly hired from Cingular Wireless. "Bigger is not always better. Providing free services indefinitely to complacent Christians is not our mission."
    "Freeloading" Christians were straining the church's nursery and facility resources and harming the church's ability to reach the lost, says the pastor.
    "When your bottom line is saving souls, you get impatient with people who interfere with that goal," he says.
    Faith Community sent polite but firm letters to families who attend church services and "freebie events" but never volunteer, never tithe and do not belong to a small group or other ministry. The church estimates that of its 8,000 regular attendees, only half have volunteered in the past 3 years, and a third have never given to the church.
    "Before now, we made people feel comfortable and welcome, and tried to coax them to give a little something in return," says a staff member. "That's changed. We're done being the community nanny."
    Surprisingly, the move to dis-invite people has drawn positive response from men in the community who like the idea of an in-your-face church.
    "I thought, 'A church that doesn't allow wussies — that rocks,'" says Bob Clark, who admires the church more since they told him to get lost.
    He and Julie are now tithing and volunteering. "We've taken our place in church life," he says.