For those who read this blog and don't know: I no longer am employed at VLC. I am currently seeking employment. Prayers needed and much appreciated :-)
Anyways, today, someone said they have missed my blogging. I said 'thank you, I missed it too." They followed it up w/, "why has it been so long, you haven't blogged for 2 months?" My reply- "plain and simple, I didn't want to air our what we were going through." I had to keep it in my journal & not write publicly. So for those of you who read this regularly, sorry for the lapse of blogging.
Anyways, to the point of this blog: Some people says 'time heals everything.' I don't nessarilly agree w/ that statement.
In the past, I have held onto issues and hurts for years, time never healed it. Maybe I would forget about it from time to time, but until I really dealt w/ it, forgave and asked for forgiveness, it never really went away. Sadly, I know people that have held onto hurts or wrongs for 50+ years, just basically eating them alive.
I personally pushed down issues, tried to forget through alcohol, and had held onto to family hurts for years, but then forgiveness, grace and mercy came into play and healed.
I think forgiveness, mercy and grace heals everything! Some things are never forgotten, BUT forgiven. I think if we forget everything and try to suppress the things we go through, the same situations and issues may arise in the future, equalling the same outcomes. Reasoning: Because we have forgotten and suppressed those feeling & issues and not forgiven or asked for forgiveness.
Forgiveness, grace and mercy heals.
That's just my opinion. I don't think any of us can go wrong w/ forgiveness!
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-Peace
I was just looking through one of my journals from a couple months back. I wrote out a prayer that I prayed, after I prayed it, I never looked back on it until now. Glad I did, because I prayed it again today and wanted to share it. This is probably only the 3rd prayer I have shared publicly on this blog. It's a little personal, but my life's an open book, so here it is:
"God- I love you. I worship you. I think you. Thank you for my family, the weekend. Thank you for sobriety. Thank you for my job.
I need you!
I want you to have my life. Stir my heart in desperation for you. Keep my heart yearning for you, desiring you. Help me to never lose sight of you.
Please make my heart desperate for the things you are desperate for. Open the eyes of my heart to see & minister to the hurting.
Fill my soul w/ the love you have. Help me love people like you do. I need your love today. Move and shake my life anyway you want! Open my eyes, open my ears, open my mind, open my heart.
All that I have is yours, you have truly blessed me. Hold onto me and never let me go. Even when I am not nice, when I don't deserve to live, please see me for who I am, Your child.
God, all the things that hurt me late at night, all the thoughts of the past, take them away. Help me not forget where I have came from, but not to think on it to long. Take the bad desires away from me.
Help me to dislike the things you dislike, God, let me not be bound by anything!
I love you, let your will be done in my life.
God, today- blow my mind! Let me see just a glimpse of your love to people, grace, forgiveness, passion, justice, judgement, power, healing,awakening, salvation,strength. Amen!"
Thanks for reading.
While I was reading today, I came across 8 steps to discover your destiny. Although, I know step processes don't always work, ie; 4 easy steps to lose weight. 5 steps to financial freedom and so on, I thought these were pretty close to a good 'step' program. Good stuff:
I just read this on another pastors blog, Steven Furtick. He says it so well, there is no need to rewrite it. Here ya go.
I’m obsessed with being better. With doing better. And this extends to every area of my life. From being a husband and father, to being a preacher, to making up competitions with my lead staff.
If I lifted 100 lbs. yesterday, I want to be able to lift 105 lbs. tomorrow.
If I tithed x% this year, I want to tithe x+y% next year.
If I preached a great sermon on Saturday night, it had better be near perfect by our second service on Sunday morning. In my mind, if I’m not getting better, I’m getting worse. If I’m not progressing, I’m regressing. There is no middle ground. There is a holy discontentment inside of me to constantly be improving.
The reason is that “better” now will eventually become outdated and average later. When the first generation iPhone came out, it revolutionized the industry. But it was updated and replaced because it soon was no longer sufficient to meet the needs of those it was serving. Yesterday’s release of the iPhone 4 was just the latest update. A year or so from now, we will have the iPhone 5 because the needs of the consumer will constantly demand a better phone. Your capacity as a leader, a spouse, a parent, or an employee might be adequate right now, but it will be inadequate momentarily.
The needs of those around you will constantly demand you to produce at a higher level. For this reason, we must have a healthy obsession with improving everything we do every time we do it. Not for the sake of pride. But for the sake of those who need us to be at our best and continually improving on our best.
There is a potential danger with this mindset. We can become so busy constantly obsessing over being better that we do not take the time to adequately celebrate and appreciate where we are and how far we’ve come. This danger is real. We must continually be thankful for what God has done in and through us. Yet the bigger danger is standing still and settling for less than the future progress He still has for us.
At every moment I must be performing at the maximum level of my capacity while at the same time be increasing my capacity for the moment that follows.
This letter was emailed to me from our MOP's (mothers of preschoolers) leader. MOP's is close to my heart because my wife Renee got our MOP's group up and going for the first 2 years.
Kim's experience is what MOP's is about. What reaching out is about. What letting people see Jesus in us is about. What seeing people as Jesus see's them is about. It's about living out your life and walk w/ Christ in a way that others see and want what you have. Check out this awesome letter:
To all my MOPS moms,
I was never very girlie. I caught spiders, frogs and snakes and asked to keep them. I wrestled and played football. I didn’t wear makeup until I was 16. I bought my first “pretty” bra when I was 20. Slowly I learned it was ok to just be a girl.
Years passed and at 25 I moved here (to Grand Junction) I met Sara (a steering team member in our group) and came to MOPS. Here I found beautiful, strong women. They weren’t prissy or elitist. I didn’t feel like an outcast because I wasn’t “girlie”. Quite opposite. I was encouraged. I became more and more comfortable with attempting to be fashionable. I learned it was perfectly fine for me to like lace and flowers and even pink. And I liked feeling accepted as me, but encouraged to grow. All from women that I was sure, at least in my mind, would have never given me the time of day.
Mops has changed my life. This group has changed my life. Sharing our stories gave me strength and let me know that I wasn’t a bad mom for being frustrated, I wasn’t a bad person for not being perfect all the time. Being around positive women, sharing coffee and decorating picture frames somehow brought me peace. I could leave energized and enlightened with new ideas on how to help my family. I wasn’t stuck alone in my four walls anymore. I had a place to go where I was understood.
When I first moved here, I didn’t pray anymore. I didn’t like religion or church or any organization affiliated with church. I remembered God but didn’t know how to fit HIM into my life. I was uncomfortable even having a religious conversation. I had never even prayed with my kids. Slowly, MOPS helped me remember. MOPS gave me a positive interaction with a church group. I saw a group of happy, healthy families, church goers who weren’t hypocrites. People that put positivity back into religion for me.
My children pray every night. They pray before meals. I pray as I lay down to sleep. And when all answers are exhausted my children hear “Because that’s how God made them”.
If you had met me three years ago, you would not have heard me say those words.
I am grateful to all of you for helping that change.
I say all this because before I say goodbye, I want to say thank you. Thank you for every part you’ve played in my journey. For helping me become more feminine, for offering advice when I was at wits end, for playing and talking when I wanted someone to hang out with. Thank you for helping me find God again.
I won’t promise to remember all your names or all your faces. I will promise to remember the good you’ve helped create in me and the wonderful 3 years we’ve shared. You will all hold a special place in my heart.
Long time, no blogging. What can I say, it was 2 weeks ago today I was released from the hospital. After a couple super busy weeks, I am finally getting my bearing and feel like writing again.
On March 28th, I went to the ER after a quad accident and on the 29th I was admitted into the hospital w/ a ruptured spleen, internal bleeding, 4 broken ribs and a huge hematoma. My blood crit level was at 20, (average person 46) so I was near death and didn't even realize it. I am glad I hurt enough to go back to the ER.
Since being released, it has pretty much been non-stop, (w/ tons of extra help) moving into our new building.
Last night I looked into the mirror and much of the external swelling and bruising has dissipated, mostly inside bruising and swelling is left and believing in the healing of the hemotoma.
God is merciful and full of grace. He has been healing me through this entire process!! I have to thank all those that have prayed for me and my family the last few weeks. I am indebted to my wife, who has been by my side and my pillar this entire time and helped me through this trauma. My wife and kids rock! As well as thanking God for a great boss.
So there you have it, that's what has been going on the last few weeks.
I am super excited about the grand opening of our new church, VLC, and will write more about the process in the future.
Until then, stay frothy!