Check out this interview with Paul Sohn, an award-winning leadership blogger, speaker and executive coach. Find Paul at paulsohn.org and on Facebook and Twitter.

Paul just wrote Quarter-Life Calling: How to Find Your Sweet Spot In Your Twenties, and I asked if he could share some his ideas about calling and vocation.  I think you’ll enjoy and find great value in what he has to say.  Read it then go check out his book – it just released this week!

What is your book Quarter-Life Calling about? Give us a quick overview of the book.

The big idea behind Quarter-Life Calling is that your twenties is the best time and place in your life to start discovering God’s calling in your life and imagining the possibility of what it might look like to hit your sweet spot in life. This is a book for millennials who want to break free from the rat race – for those who believed they were created for something more.

This book introduces millennials to the idea of calling as the foundation for living a life of intentionality, fulfillment and significance. Unlike many books on calling, this book is written by a Millennial for a Millennial and touches on the unique issues this generation wrestles with, including FOMO, YOLO and comparison mindset, and present bias. I lay out a practical roadmap what it means to find your vocational sweet spot which is the intersection of your personality, gifts, passions and life story.

How do you define quarter-life calling?

I believe quarter-life calling is the best time in our lives to discover God’s calling and participate in God’s agenda, using your personality, gifts, passions, and life story in ways that are eternally significant. As Meg Jay says, twenties are the defining decade of our lives. 80% of life’s most defining moments happen by age 35.

I really believe in the notion that to finish well in life you need to start early and start well. Our twenties is the time when we either cultivate good soil or bad soil. Discovering the root behind your very identity and vocation will help you build an unshakable foundation that will last till you seventies and eighties.

Why did you write Quarter-Life Calling?

Well, when I was 24, I graduated from college and started working at a global Fortune 50 company. I was making a handsome compensation with great benefits. I was working in a pretty important team and department where we advised and consulted senior leaders. I thought after all these years of studying, I made it. Well to tell you the truth, what looks on the surface was great, but within, I felt quite miserable. Somehow I thought working at this job would give me the ultimate meaning, confidence, and fulfillment…but in reality, I felt quite empty, left wanting. I couldn’t figure why I was feeling the way I was…it was my quarter-life crisis.

When I shared my emotions with my mentor, he simply listened and handed me a book. He said, “Paul, let’s talk after you read this book.” I spent the following week devouring the book. It changed my life upside down. The book was called The Call by Os Guinness. In the book, the author said, “Answering the call is the way to find and fulfill the central purpose of your life.” Truthfully, I didn’t even know that I had a calling. I embarked on a journey for the next several years discovering my calling. I read every single book I could find on calling/vocation and purpose. It soon dawned on me that everyone has a calling and I also was born with a specific mission that God in mind. While I was reading these books, I could not find a single book that addressed the unique struggles this Millennial generation is wrestling with. For some reason, God put me in situations in life where I experienced FOMO (fear of missing out), heard friends shouting out YOLO (you only live once) and using their time in their twenties as a “throwaway” decade instead of learning about who they are and what they are meant to do.

So in a way, I felt God wanted me to experiences these so I can write a book that addressed many of these concerns and struggles that is real and deep in this generation. I also wanted the book not like many of these self-help books that says you can be anything you want to be if you simply put in time and perspiration. Rather, the book is rather quite explicitly biblical and faith-based but also very practical – where an average reader can apply specific tools in their own lives.

What happens when you don’t know what you are created or called for?

You will be restless. St. Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” We were created to praise God, to glorify God, to worship Him in every aspect of our lives. Without knowing our very purpose and calling from God creates this deep chasm. We begin to ask “why” and never get to the source of it. We become Occupational vagabond. A mindless zombie at work. We do work but not know why we are doing it. You often feel like an orphan always looking for your parents but not knowing who they are. You are never at peace.

You will trade joy for happiness. Maybe that doesn’t sound bad, but happiness isn’t consistent; it comes and goes. You only experience it when things are going good—and even then, it doesn’t stick around. As soon as the initial excitement wears off, you’ll need another shot of something good to bring it back. It’s not fulfilling in the long run. The joy God gives isn’t dampened by gloomy weather or a bad economy, and it doesn’t fade after the novelty is gone. Joy is rooted in a deep sense of meaning and purpose that transcends life’s circumstances.

What are common mistakes you see millennials make when trying to find their calling?

Well, I think there is this prevailing belief among twenty-somethings called the bulls-eye approach when it comes to calling. That is, we believe there is one perfect calling, the one thing that I’m supposed to do, one grad school, one perfect spouse.

Would you like to learn how to build stronger teams at your church or ministry? 

If so, you might like to know about four Teams That Thrive Workshops this August. These half-day, low-cost ($30 per person includes book + lunch) workshops are perfect for a church and ministry leaders who lead teams of all kinds.  The workshop is based on Warren Bird’s and my new book Teams That Thrive: Five Disciplines of Collaborative Church Leadership.  In these workshops, Warren and I will help leaders:

• Clarify and Sharpen Their Team’s Purpose
• Figure Out What’s Hampering Optimal Team Health and Effectiveness
• Identify Ways to Select Excellent Team Members and Train Them Well
• Establish Ground Rules that Enable Teams to Succeed
• Facilitate Team Meetings More Effectively

Event Information

1. Southern California – Thursday, August 13 at Ev Free Fullerton, CA (information and registration)

2. Delaware — Monday, August 24 at The Journey Church in Newark, DE (information and registration)

3. New Jersey — Tuesday, August 25 at Liquid Church in Morristown, NJ (details forthcoming – send me a note and I’ll send them to you).

4. New York — Wednesday, August 26 at Grace Fellowship in Albany, NY (information and registration).

Registration for each event is only $30 and includes a copy of the book and lunch.  Bring just one or two or your entire staff.  Act fast, as spaces are limited.

*If you’d like to host another Teams That Thrive Workshop at your church, send me a note and let’s start a conversation!

]]> http://www.ryanhartwig.com/announcement-teams-that-thrive-workshops/feed/ 0 3702 http://www.ryanhartwig.com/can-you-find-meaning-in-work/ http://www.ryanhartwig.com/can-you-find-meaning-in-work/#comments Tue, 28 Apr 2015 05:23:40 +0000 http://www.ryanhartwig.com/?p=3638 Do we find meaning in work?

Or do we bring meaning to work?

Is there “meaningful work” we can find?

Or do we make work meaningful by the way we do our work?

I take up these questions in my TEDx Azusa Pacific University talk.

Take a look and share with your friends …

If you haven’t yet heard, Teams That Thrive: Five Disciplines of Collaborative Church Leadership released this week.  I wrote the book with Warren Bird of Leadership Network and it is published by the great folks at InterVarsity Press.

So far, we’ve seen some cool publicity around the book, so I thought I’d point you to it so you can learn more and maybe share with your friends and tribes.  These posts and others have helped the book sit as the #1 book in Amazon’s Christian Church Leadership category all week long!

Tony Morgan Interviewed Warren and Me

Ron Edmondson Hosted a Guest Post on 3 Team-Killing Church Cultures

Matt Perman Posted our Guest Blog on Four Meeting Practices that Distinguish Top Teams

Todd Rhoades Busted Our Chops in an Interview

The Vanderbloemen Search Group Posted an Interview with Warren and Me on Our Inspiration For the Book and More

Check these out!  Maybe you’ll find something that will help your team thrive … and just maybe you’ll be convinced to pick up the book, if you haven’t already.  Or, maybe you’ll let your tribe know!

By the way, if you order the book by April 15 and send us a copy of your receipt, we’ll send you a free workbook called Have a New Team By Friday!  The workbook will help you put into practice the key principles in the book … fast!  Get details here!

And if you’ve read the book already, would you post a quick review on Amazon?

I love the community found in small groups, but sometimes I hate small group meetings.  Too often, just when the conversational action gets going, the group facilitator or leader grabs the conversational ball and holds it, attempting to craft the perfect pitch to spur continual conversation.  While he finds the perfect words, life gushes out of the discussion.  The conversation stalls, which prompts the leader to work even harder to craft the next perfect pitch.  More momentum is lost, until the whole meeting becomes drudgery. 

While there’s certainly a place for well-crafted, thought-provoking questions in small group meetings, facilitators would benefit from taking a cue from the fast-paced game of tennis.  In tennis, when the ball comes across the net, the opposing player quickly returns it, inviting the other player to do the same.  Of course, some strategy is applied, but only so much that enables the ball to stay in play.

In tennis, keeping the play going is just as important as hitting the perfect stroke.  In fact, maintaining the ball in play extends the play long enough for one player to hit a winning shot.

 

Small groups are no different.  Keeping the conversation flowing is just as important as pitching the perfect question.  As the conversation deepens and grows, the whole group grows more poised to pose the break-through question or comment.  More often than not, maintaining conversational flow is a prerequisite for life-changing dialogue.

Volley, Don’t Pitch!

Application Moment:

If you find discussion stalling in your small group, take a break from holding the ball and trying to throw great pitches.  You just might be the reason you’re conversations are so lifeless.  Instead, try volleying the conversational ball back quickly, and see what happens. 

And if you give it a shot, let me know how it goes.