As I mentioned in a previous post, I am currently a freelance writer for a web development company. The company is growing and they hired a new guy to handle imaging for the websites they build.

In working there, I am learning a lot about family culture. One particular lesson occured under my nose and I almost missed it. A few of the fellows that work there decided to go across the street to grab lunch at a deli.  The deli is operated by a Korean family.  My co-workers often refer to the deli as “the Korean Cafe” and “The Koreans”. I never paid much attention to it until the “new guy” came back to the office after taking a trip to the deli. He made a interesting observation. “The place was nice and the food looked good, but its strange that they don’t sell Korean food there.”

While we might think twice about eating Asian food that’s not cooked byAsians unless there’s some special interest of the chef, why would we assume a restaurant owned by a member of a particular ethnic group would only serve food from their culture.

It actually reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry convinces Apoo to change his restaurant menu to Pakistani. Why would we assume that people would be so one-dimensional?

When I was working in education, there was also a deli in the buiding that was run by an Asian couple. It never occured to me or anyone else during the three years I worked there that the deli should have been serving Asian food.

Business offer their goods and services based on what the location will bear. It probably made more sense to the couple who owns the deli to offer a more basic deli menu to appeal to a corporate complex.

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Early last year I wrote an article about the culture of hair. I wrote about what the effect short hair, long hair and baldness have on our perceptions of others. A few months ago the media campaign started for Chris Rock’s comedy documentary, Good Hair. It finally hit a theatre near me this weekend.

I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie ever since I first heard about it. Chris Rock is a big reason why I wanted to see this movie but I also wanted to get his take on the subject matter. It is interesting to get a black man’s perspective on the lengths black women go to have a presentable and attractive head of hair. Hair is a major issue for all of us. Men and women both worry about how to keep their hair and how to keep it youthful.

In the movie, Rock explains that it was his young daughter’s lament over not having “good hair” that triggered his exploration into the concept. I can remember from a very early age being exposed to the concept of “good hair” and “bad hair”. Good hair is long, healthy, straight and easy to manage. In other words, good hair was Caucasian hair or Indian hair. Growing up in New Jersey until the age of nine, I definitely remember admiring the long flowing hair of my Caucasian, Puerto Rican and Indian classmates. Thanks to my mother’s natural talent and the use of a good relaxer, I had long, thick hair.

Like most documentaries, Rock takes his research on the road to North Carolina, Georgia, New York, California and India, to explore the black hair care industry.

From the Bronner Brothers Hair Convention in Atlanta to the Dudley Hair Manufacturing estate in North Carolina, Rock shows us the big business of hair. From weaves to the sodium hydroxide that makes up hair relaxers, Rock not only investigates what we do to our hair as black women but how that practice impacts the men in our lives and our pocketbooks. It was very entertaining to watch Rock go to the people in black beauty salons and barber shops to get the perspective on black women’s hair from everyday black people.

One of the most telling moments in the documentary was when Rock sat down with five young black women who were about to graduate from high school. All but one girl had relaxed hair or a weave. The remaining girl wore her hair in a natural afro. Rock asked them if they felt the need to keep up the weaves and relaxers to obtain favorable employment. All the girls except the one with the natural hair felt that someone with natural hair wouldn’t be taken seriously and would have a harder time finding work. They all agreed that the natural hair of the remaining girl was attractive but they didn’t think it was professional or would be accepted in the work environment. The idea that the natural state of our hair is unprofessional and not acceptable is a direct result of what black girls have been indoctrinated with since the time they were very little girls.

There were so many themes covered in this movie. Rock touches on how the majority of black hair care lines are owned and operated by white conglomerates and Asian entrepreneurs. The black hair care industry generates billions. We may be less than 25% of the U.S. population, but we account for 80% or more of the hair care products and services being bought and sold. In fact, one of the largest exports for India is real human hair weave. Rock travels to India to show us where the Indian hair extensions American women pay upward of $1000 for come from. In India, the people often sacrifice their hair in a religious ceremony. Hair is very valuable and that’s why they sacrifice it to God. It is that hair that is cut, cleaned, and sown on strands to be converted to tracks of hair to be sold and exported to the U.S.

I was only able to touch on a few of the themes Rock covered in his documentary Good Hair.  With interviews Rock had with the head of Dudley, Bronner Brothers, and actresses and actors like Ice T, Rev. Al Sharpton, Nia Long, Raven Symoné, Maya Angelou, and the lead singers from the ’80s girl rap group Salt and Pepa among others, it was amazing to see a cultural perspective that permeates throughout an entire ethnic race and it isn’t regional in terms of one side of North America to the other.  Whether you are a black woman in California or a black woman in New York City, the perspective on hair is the same.

Some reviewers mentioned that Rock offered no solutions. Personally, I think that as long as flowing long straight hair is considered the benchmark for attractiveness, many black women will continue to pay to achieve it. The perception isn’t restricted to women of the black community. These days, extensions are also seen among our white sisters. I think another factor deals with women’s (regardless of race) obsession to look like the stars they admire in Hollywood. Instead of being the best they can be, they often strive to be someone else. I think we forget that actors and actresses are performers regardless of whether they are on or off the set. So they are expected to look a certain way no matter what. Everyday women want Julia Roberts’ smile or Jennifer Aniston’s haircut. Once we embrace the characteristics that make us different and beautiful, many women will no longer see the need to spend, on an annual basis, the money equivalent to the price of a compact car on hair extensions and other services.

There were also jokes during the movie about being addicted to creamy crack, or hair relaxer. As a woman who has been relaxing my hair longer than I can remember, I would love to be able to kick the relaxer habit. But having used relaxer every two months for nearly 30 years, I’ve definitely seen my hair become less thick. It use to be a lion’s mane when I was growing up. It would be interesting to see what the result would be.

Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair, may seem frivolous to some considering the challenging economic times we are in. But our perceptions of ourselves both on the inside and on the outside carry a lot of weight in other areas of our lives. So this exploration is a valid one in the hope that we can adopt more healthy perceptions about ourselves and what’s really important.

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When it comes to culture we rarely think of individual families having one of their own. We all have witnessed aspects of our family that we would swear exists in no other family. If those traits are dysfunctional we may be relieved to discover that we are not alone. If those traits are especially supportive then we may assume that the majority of society’s families function in the same manner.

It wasn’t until I began freelancing for a local family-owned software/web development company that I recognized the family unit as a cultural unit. It makes sense when you think of how the family originates. It starts with the coupling of two people who may or may not have similar upbringings. Regardless, there will be differences as everyone’s response to the same environment is different. This couple comes together to construct their own family with a set of culture values that while influenced from their own individual families, will differ due to the adoption and rejection of some family processes and values each person was exposed to during childhood.

It is that newly developed family cultural environment that a couple creates that dictate the couple’s quality of life and the quality of life for their children. As a result, we are a product of the cultural environment we grow up in–not just in our community but in our household as well. This is no ground-breaking theory, but families are rarely described as cultural units.

If you desire to write deeper characters, don’t just think of them in the social environment you’ve placed them in, think about the cultural environment of the family that enhanced or stifled their personalities. A child who grows up poor but has a family unit where they constantly focuse on the betterment of all those involved, that child will most likely have a different adult life than a poor child who grows up in a family unit where the focuse is on what they don’t have and functions in life as if the world owes them something.

Think about how a particular family culture causes you characters to react to the circumstances you place them in.

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It’s that time of year again. September 15th is the start of Hachette Book Group’s Hispanic Heritage Month. Sable Lit Reviews is proud to participate for the second year in a row.

Hachette is offering 5 great reads. Find out more about the contest by selecting the WIN BOOKS tab listed at the top of this block.

Show your support for the value of multicultural fiction. Good Luck!

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Many freelance guru’s point out that not all the freelance work exists in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. There’s plenty of work to be had in your own locale due to local magazines, newspapers and small businesses. Thanks to Craigslist, I landed a freelance contract with a local website and software applications company.

I have been working for this small business since the last week in April and I have learned a great deal about small business, marketing and the family-owned small business in particular. I’ve come into contact with a lot of clients who want and need different things. They all want to increase revenue but many are still in the dark about their web presence and how software applications can make them more efficient.

Your perception of your writing skills or lack of them really emerges as you begin to writing content about everything including locksmith services, fire extinguisher sales and service, Christian childcare, insurance adjuster training, patio covers and landscaping.

 When it’s all said and done, you wonder how you made any of these services sound interesting to someone not in the field.

If you find yourself with an opportunity to write locally for the businesses that cater to your neighborhoods, you may surprise yourself with the contributions you can make to those businesses and your metropolitan area. Good Luck.

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I’ve mentioned before that I relish my independence. It may have to do with the fact that I am quiet, observant and guarded. Many associate these traits as weak or timid. I think it has more to do with my discomfort with vulnerability and maybe I just haven’t met that one person who you always want to be around.

It seemed to me there was a time in society where people valued independence. They enjoyed making a way for themselves. Lately, it seems, many people don’t like to be alone at all. They move from their parents’ house to a living space with friends or their significant other of the moment. I’ve even heard of people having children to prevent themselves from a lonely existence. I mentioned to a friend with social phobias that I overcame feeling awkward in public by eating out alone or going to the movies alone. Another friend cringed stating that he didn’t want to be considered “a loser.” I think having all your experiences wrapped up in who is with you is very limiting. You’ll never know who you’ll meet or what experienced you could have when you’re alone. It gives you the opportunity to witness what’s around you because you’re not so caught up in who you’re with.

Sometimes I can understand why one would avoid being alone. I know that feeling of unimportance or invisibility because there’s no one depending on you or looking forward to you coming home. I’m often reminded by those in relationships or those who are still close to their parents’ nest, that my existence must be less than because I’m not responsible to anyone but myself and no one relies on me.

Now those who live alone are a source of curiosity for others. This strong desire to couple up or group up regarding a living space could simply be a means to save as economic security is still uncertain for many. Or it could be the avoidance of truly getting to know the most important person in our lives; ourselves.

As a matter of fact, those who don’t live with others are often viewed as selfish because there’s no compromise or sharing of decisions and control. But I think they may be the most strong, because there’s no one else to blame or rely on for your troubles or your failures. You are the architect and the construction worker of your own life both in public and in private.

Shear independence may not be for everyone but I think that everyone should try it just once. It makes the times you share with others more valuable and it causes you to really be responsible for your choices, because if your life isn’t how you’d like it or how you imagined it, the only person preventing change is you.

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As writers we often hear the advice to write what we know. I may have started out that way but I often quickly find that my stories move into unknown territory. My first novel was differently based on experience but it wasn’t based on my experience alone. I added many layers that were not part of my own biography.

What made me come to this conclusion has to be when one of my clients wanted to know if I knew anything about commercial landscaping. I had never written on this topic before and we’ll see how I do when the assignment begins tomorrow, but my response to him was, “I didn’t know anything about the other projects you’ve assigned to me.” Lucky for me every one of those assignments went off much better than expected. I never thought I would be writing about a Christian childcare center, patio cover company, two locksmithing businesses, watch repair, an appliance repair business and a fire safety corporation. Not only have I written about those things, I’ve done a pretty good job at it as well.

Thanks to research and some critical thinking about what people want and what they expect from an interaction with any of these businesses has been my guide.

So the next time you wonder if you can write about something, remember that you really don’t know until you try. Certainly research is huge, but how you translate that research into relatable experience that causes people to connect is the real test.

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A few weeks back I spent several weekends watching the entire six seasons of Sex and the City. Several of the episodes had a writer’s commentary. We’ve all heard of director’s cuts and commentaries as well as actors sharing their two cents. But, this was the first time I had a chance to hear a writer talk about the writing of an episode and how it fits in the overall series. Instead of a commentary panel, it was the actual episode with voiceover from the Executive Producer and writer, Michael Patrick King.

The commentary was very useful because unlike others, King discussed what was written from dialogue, setting and characterization and also matched up the director’s interpretation of what the writers created.

King also discussed symbolism in the behaviors of the women and how it changed over time as well as their challenges. Its what made a good series and frankly it is what made the show much better than the book.

As a writer, I enjoyed how King illustrated how the actors personified different emotions and character traits in performing the characters. Things like having Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker)’s hair change lengths and colors as well as her battle with smoking and her weakness with Mr. Big.

King also talked about how each of the women represented different view points in society on any given topic they would discuss around the table or on their walk through the city.

Since setting isn’t my strongest point when writing, it really helped to hear how a writer made it another character in the story. New York is definitely the fifth sustaining character in the series, but because like the women it is always there.

Want to grasp greater depths in your writing? Think about how it would play out in front of a camera, because while your books may not have pictures, your readers will being picturing your story in their heads.

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The events of Thursday, June 25th 2009 are probably not lost on anyone with a television, an Internet connection or a cell phone with texting capabilities.  Like most people, I was working when I heard the news of Farrah Fawcett’s death. When my co-worker mentioned it while looking at a news website while eating his lunch my initial reaction was “na-uh!” (yes, I know very eloquent!) I felt a moment of sadness and nostalgia before returning to my routine. I had watched the majority of Fawcett’s documentary and knew that she’d been fighting cancer. While I thought her courageous for surviving the battle as long as she did, I figured at least she wouldn’t be suffering anymore.

A few hours later when I heard that Michael Jackson had suddenly died of cardiac arrest, I was saddened and shocked. It’s a feeling that still persists even now as I write this.

A fan said it best, when it was quoted that “…Michael Jackson’s passing is like a piece of my childhood dying with him.”

I hadn’t posted sooner about Michael’s death because it is still so hard to believe. Someone at work made a snarky comment like, “you actually like Michael Jackson?” All I could say was, that I know he was very screwed up but the days of Thiller were the best ever in terms of music.” I didn’t like what he’d become in recent years, kind of a caricature of his former self, but it never changed the value of his music.

It’s funny how we are not allowed to be flawed. I find myself constantly trying to correct my flaws, hide them and even search for those who will love me in spite of them. In the end, I think that’s what Michael wanted too.

As I sat this weekend watching all the coverage…the biographies…the music video tributes…the speculation over his death and his life, I wondered what made him the way he was. It could have been loneliness or baggage from a very unique, challenging and rewarding childhood, (there’s definitely irony in that sentence…) but only he truly knows. His transformation or metamorphosis as some like to call it definitely added to the mystique that is Michael Jackson. We don’t know what he saw when he looked in the mirror or why he wanted to change it, but it leads me to wonder how as a society we come to mourn someone we don’t really know…

I’m a constant thinker… in fact thinking often keeps me up at night. And what I came up with almost as quickly as I asked the question is that we mourn the loss of a person’s contributions when they die. Someone like Michael Jackson or Princess Diana for instance are known for the contributions they made to society. Whether it’s philanthropy or entertainment, it has value and it is the loss of that contribution and the admiration for the people who share such great talents with us that makes us sad when they pass. We know people for the contributions they make, whether they are celebrities or not. If it is a positive contribution then there’s a bond of abstract friendship or kinship. We may not know someone like Michael Jackson personally but we know the talent and the contributions he’s made that has inspired others to chase their dreams and taking command of their lives. We even know the benefit of someone’s generosity even if that generosity isn’t bestowed on us directly. (Think : We Are the World).

Michael Jackson will now go the the place where all great unique talents go. Like Elvis, Janis, Jimmy, Marilyn, Marvyn and Diana, Michael  will live on in the contributions his talents have made to modern culture for many generations to come.

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I’m not sure what memory has to do with culture other than what we choose to remember and what memories we choose to keep says a lot about who we are. Just like the clothes we wear or the mindsets we keep, culture has is complex and multifaceted.

Lately, I was thinking about how we learn. Some of us learn through repetition. Others can read something once and remember what they read forever.

Growing up I was in a part of a group called Missionettes. It was like religious girl scouts. A girls program sponsored by the Assemblies of God church.

We memorized Bible scripture, mission statements and tenants. I remember when one of the steps which was based on four women of the Bible (Susanna, Tabitha, Anna and Ruth) required me to memorize the entire chapter of 1st Corinthians 13.

I learned during my two years in that program that I took to memorization visually. I would write out every verse of that chapter and repeat it outloud erasing words at different intervals. Until I was looking at a paper with nothing but dashes where words use to be. Eventually,  I could recite the entire chapter which consisted of 13 verses without the paper because I could visualize it in my head.

I’m not sure what I learned about love the basis of 1Corinthians 13 but I did learn a lot about the process of learning. While I couldn’t recite the chapter now, whenever mentions words from it without referencing the orign, I always recognize it.

Whether you have a photographic memory or remember through repetition, what does the culture of memory and learning mean to you?

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