WHY?!?!!!

THINK.

Gaming has always been predominately male, even today. Yet those few that are actually women have to put up with more than they were hoping for when they logged in to play a game and have fun. For some, they get the total opposite.

I’ve been gaming for seven years, from first-person shooters like Counter Strike and Half-Life to MMORPGs like World of Warcraft and Guild Wars. Teamspeak and Ventrilo are both something you’ll always find me on and I’m not afraid to reveal that I am a female.

…but that doesn’t happen without a price.

Being a female gamer in the gaming world with mostly men of all ages is extremely difficult. First of all, its almost always assumed that female gamers are bad. With my experience, about 95% of the female gamers I encounter are actually very skilled players, if not better than most of the male gamers in the clan or guild (mostly MMORPGs, not so much first-person shooters). No matter how long you’ve played with such person, or clan/guild, its hard for people to accept that we’re female. We’re not aliens, we’re normal people who want to play and have fun just like you do.

Secondly, we get constantly made fun of and are seen only as a sexual bonus to the world of video games. Female gamers are constantly messaged and harassed either in the game or verbally through vent, mostly very inappropriate sexual statements. Men of all ages are constantly hitting on us, constantly asking our age, where we live, and to describe how we look and what we’re wearing. Others constantly degrade us for being a female gamer, accusing you of being a nerd with no life and “if you’re a girl, you must be fat as hell” and the only way to prove otherwise is to provide a harmless “pic” that almost always escalates to higher and higher demands where they are almost screaming at you for naked pictures. Sadly, most females feel so pressured and hopeless that to fit in their gaming world, they succumb to these pictures and are addressed as the local clan/guild whore. Most males prey on this insecurity of females to be pretty. Female gamers are practically shown zero respect, its disgusting.

I can blame men, I can go on and say males are dogs and there are some real geeks that need to get a life and stop harassing women to appear cool and manly… and GOD FORBID be pwned by a chick.

But no I don’t blame the males, I blame the females who are too lazy to stick up for themselves. I blame the females who are so needy and have such low self-esteems that they have make seductive-looking characters crawling around local cities and towns pleading with the nearest male with “omgZ look @ my pic, I’m such a needy, lonely whore and I neEd 2 kno if u think I’m pretTy or I’ll diee”.

I looked around the web a bit, there are several websites with women clinging together and patting each others back while they share sad sad harassment stories, but they are mostly always bashing those sexist male pigs. The blame goes both ways in my opinion.

I never really was a fan of all-female community websites. If we want to establish identity and fit in within the gaming world, the last thing we want is to separate ourselves into clingy little groups and have all-female guilds, all-female this and that. Female organizations are stupid, one in particular really makes my blood boil - GirlsofCS.

GirlsofCS has been around for a bit, back when I was into the whole Counter Strike deal, GirlsofCS are just that - a bunch of a girls who band together, kick ass in Counter Strike all while posing naked in pictures or in very sexually provocative and dare I say “slutty” poses that they have the NERVE to stamp “this is beautiful art” all over. GirlsofCS are nothing but a bunch of needy motherfucking attention whores and they seriously embarrass the fuck out of themselves and all other female gamers out there.

Hey! We’re GirlsofCS! We pose naked and in very masturbate-material poses to get rid of female gamers stereotypes! Because that makes a shitload of sense, right?!

You hear that?! We’ll pose naked and lay on rocks by the beach with the waves in the air, the breeze blowing through our hair and my breasts basking in the sun to show you that we’re not really fat and ugly after all - TAKE THAT YOU STEREOTYPING MALE PIGS!

Really. Since when does anyone care what someone else says… especially in an online game. I knew a girl from GirlsofCS and I’ve also played against them. They kicked ass. They fucking owned my clan in some scrim matches. But did they ever really get rid of the stereotypes and harassment? Of course not, they made it worse. The photos never made the males’ perspective any better. All the males I played with were all truly convinced they were guys playing as girls because they were just too good and never spoke on vent.

The girl I knew from this organization had a IGN of Sarah. Sarah had a professional photo taken for GirlsofCS in which she was dress in an camouflaged/army themed outfit in which the top displayed her bulging cleavage that looked like her breasts were about to pop out in surprise, but the real focus of this photograph was her ass in which her hands were slowly pushing down her booty shorts to display half her ass. She was standing on a huge granite rock along the beach with waves crashing against the rock and into the air which was the background behind her. Sure the background and scenery was beautiful but she wasn’t. She gets on ventrilo to play with us in a server (Sarah and I are currently the only females in ventrilo and on the server). All the males on ventrilo had been drooling and jacking off to Sarah’s photo at that moment and for hours they asked her a bunch of questions regarding the photo, if she has anymore, and asked if she would take a another photo in a different pose or with different clothing. She flirted with them and dragged it on but ultimately said no and then later said she’s just a normal female gamer and she wants to be taken seriously.

I don’t know Sarah, with half your ass in a photo, dressed in army clothing (themed just for Counter Strike) with a nice big fat GirlsofCS logo on it (which if you’ve seen it is a side view of a woman with her breasts and nipples puckering out), you’ll never be taken seriously. In fact, if you’re not putting out after taking that photo, that’s just cruel.

It’s seriously not rocket science, its ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to start an organization and practically add to the local G33ks pr0n archive with your “art” to prove that you are in fact “pretty” and not “fat and ugly” like 90% of the male gamers accuse us of. Who seriously gives a shit?

I’ve made a reputation on the games that I play based on my personality and skill. I’ve never provided picture but I get the respect I deserve and ignore others that don’t want to respect me. Have I been put accused of being a fat ugly bitch because of my refusal to provide a picture? Sure I have. Have I been accused of not having a life and being a complete geek with glasses bigger than my face? You bet. I’ve made it a clear that I could give a flying fuck what someone thinks of me over the internet, I’m here to have fun, not prove myself to anyone. Keep that attitude and gaming will be less of a hassle for the those women who struggle to fit in.

And if all else fails and they still give you shit, just kick their ass, that usually shuts them up.

FYI GirlsofCS, this is art, this sure as hell isn’t.

Stupid whores. Get off my interwebs.

Before I tell you what I thought of it… do this if you want to taste bubble tea without spending more than a dollar. Go buy gummy bears, chop them up into small little round balls, roll them up into small pieces. Now go make a cup of lipton tea, yes, lipton tea. The tea bag, the milk, the sugar, the whole deal. Take out the tea bag, put the cup in the refrigerator for like 20-30 minutes and take it out. Put a few ice cubes in it, add a full tablespoon of sugar and throw the small balls of gummy bears inside. Congratulations, you’ve just made bubble tea.

Cold, stale, sugary-water, half-ass tea with gummy bear balls at the bottom. Careful when you’re trying to drink the actual drink, you’ll usually always suck up 5 balls up your straw by accident and nearly choke.

I forced myself to drink it and I nearly vomited. To not make my friend feel bad, I pretended that I loved it, and the moment we parted to go home I threw that thing out fast, pretended like the whole thing never happened, all the while preparing myself for an unexpected gag.

Fucking disgusting.

No fucking way.

Not another fucking pointless bullshit pain-in-my-ass ego-collecting fucking essay I have to write!

What the fuck is the point of these essays? If you know someone or happen to work in the Admissions Department of any college or university that follow in this cookie cutter bullshit, then PLEASE, I PLEAD for you to email me and tell me. No really, I’m dead fucking serious.

My favorite essay of all time was the one where I had to write five pages of “why you think this is a good college and what you think of the programs it has to offer.” Five pages of praising bullshit is what this essay really wanted. They should have said, “Give us five pages about how much you want suck our dick to get in our school.” I mean give me a fucking break you pricks. Like I have nothing better to do then add in yet another damn essay on top of all the other schoolwork I have piled on me. For this essay, I had to order their brochure (because we all know brochures contain the most bullshit than any other document on this planet), and stalk their website day and night, reading about their programs and feeding them ego boosters. Hell, I went to the god damn “Writing Center” to get help to write this piece of shit, and even the English professors there just practically told me to stalk the website and feed them back their information about their “oh so wonderful programs” but with an extra “pat on the back” sentence or two.

Another school wanted me to write about my personal experiences, family experiences and backgrounds, etc. Translation: Tell us how fucked up your life is so we can be entertained. This essay was just as bad to write, no one wants to write about their “personal” experiences, because well.. I don’t know.. they’re personal? For some, most personal experiences are bad ones, and no one wants to dwell on those for three fucking pages just to get into a damn college.

When I do a follow up application, I’m expecting some extra minor details. But the nerve of them to let me get to “Step 6: Essay” and expect us to write a three page essay in the spur of the moment like “it’s no big deal” is ludicrous and ignorant. I understand you’re checking to see that we’re not brainless morons who don’t know how to write an essay, but if you’re a transfer student like me from a decent school that already put you through that daunting task, don’t make us go through it again.

I know! I know! Me? Nice? Does such a thing exist for me?

Outside of my blog, [where obviously people leak their inner thoughts and frustrations so as to avoid venting off the people around them in their daily lives], I’m actually so nice I end up fucking myself over to help other people. It sucks, I know. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

Yesterday I was rushing to school for my business class at 9:10 AM as I was running late. I had only gotten roughly 5 hours of sleep the previous night so I wasn’t in a very savvy mood. I rushed into the classroom only to be told by the huddle of students in the room that class was canceled. Great. If I knew before hand I would have had an extra four hours of sleep. I would have either rushed back right home or gone to the cafeteria to work on my history paper, but I had remembered that this guy in my history class asked that I help him with his paper we had to write that was due the next day. His school e-mail was fucked and had no way of getting the information he needed for the project, so I offered to help the previous day, totally un-anticipating that my morning class would be canceled. This meant that I had to wait an hour and half for his morning class to finish, so I went down to the cafeteria for breakfast and sat on my laptop, no big deal for me at the moment.

10:30 AM comes and he’s out and we sit at a table at the cafeteria and start working on our papers together. We work on it for a good two hours and then my attention span for this just went right out of the window and I told him I couldn’t do anymore as I was tired and not in the mood. He seemed semi-upset because he still had a page left to go and left to go to the gym while I had to sit down for another hour and a half because my next class starts at 1:30 PM. As I waited I started reflecting on what had happened that morning so far and I was very bothered.

As I looked at my Word document I realized that I only got barely an introduction paragraph started and this guy already had two-full pages. Not only that, but I realized he didn’t read the 9-page document that we had to base our paper on, I had told him all the information needed and all he did was write his paper while I was feeding him the information needed (this was because I read the document carefully to write my own paper and he kept asking me questions and I knew the answers). I also realized that because I practically wrote his paper for him in a sense (revising, sentence structure, helping him put the information together), that I had nothing done for my own paper. What’s even worse is that I had put so much thought into helping him write his paper that when it came to writing my own last night, I was out of ideas because my ideas were on his paper. Therefore I was up till 3 o’clock last night writing it.

I was absolutely furious with not only him, but with myself. I was completely blind to the total bullshit that was happening and it was only afterwards that it all made sense to me. Okay here goes the venting:

If this fucking prick can’t write an informal 3-page paper on a simple fucking topic that doesn’t require a thesis, conclusion, etc., this is lazy-ass who should be sent back to fucking high school. So…

Fuck you. If any of you ask me for help when you could find the answer to it yourself, I’ll eat your mother fucking eyes.

I swear it’s like when people see me, the only see the glasses and go, “OMFG, SMART CHICK , LAWLZ!” I’m not a fucking walking dictionary or library you pricks. Fuck off if you’ve got nothing to talk about other than asking me a million fucking questions. Dipshits.

I mean think about it, they actually had to create a fucking holiday to remind you bozos to show how much you love that special person in your life by showering them with roses, stuffed animals, and chocolate. I like to think of Valentines Day as the “save your relationship day”. You could be a total douche-fucking-bag to your loved one and on the brink of a nasty break up and then BAM! “Valentines Day! OMG, sweets! Roses! A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR! I FUCKING LOVE YOU _____! You’re so sweet!” That, and the holiday is a poor excuse for cheap sex and keeping up “standards”. You’re not cool if you don’t “<3″ everyone in sight. I only like Valentines because people give out heart-shaped sweet tarts to morons they can’t stand. The irony is just too hilarious. I would only buy someone I can’t stand some sweet tarts to watch the greedy bastards break their teeth.

Take out the gifts and keep the fact that you should tell and show how much you love someone always.

Valentines Day should be everyday, not Feb. 14.

Scientology. You’ve all heard me bitch and moan about it, and then it all stopped. I stopped writing about it because like everyone else I assumed that we were all doomed to bear the ruthlessness and money-hungry cult. Who wouldn’t think so? How many people’s lives have been left in ruin due to the Church so coldly filing lawsuit after lawsuit to any critic, or anyone who dared said anything against Scientology publicly? One would rise, another would fall. People all over the world officially had been instilled with fear by the church, rather than the peace and tranquility of the mind, body, and spirit as the church claims can bring to people’s lives. Instead, they brought more pain, and hurt, and loss than any cult ever known before. Scientology has by far been the most damaging.

It seemed hopeless, who would stand against the cult? Alone? Who would risk it all? Or worse, their lives? Their dignity?

No one. But at the same time, people did something about it.

A few days ago, an all-out anonymous group of people on the internet decided to band together. You heard me, Scientology is being taken down by a group of anonymous GEEKS.

Anonymous is now widely known throughout the internet. Their slogan?

We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget.

This isn’t a joke, anyone who gets called out by Anonymous should be fucking scared shitless.

Anonymous first got rid of the images on the official Scientology website. Then, they got rid of the website all together. The Scientology official website was completely inaccessible for almost two days. Soon after, a press release was then made regarding their motives to the church:

A spokesperson said that the group’s goals include bringing an end to the financial exploitation of Church members and protecting the right to free speech, a right which they claim was consistently violated by the Church of Scientology in pursuit of its opponents.

Three days ago, Anonymous created a video that officially declared war against Scientology. The video already has near half a million views, over 5,000+ comments and been favored 3,000 times as well.

At first, the war seemed small, but with the help of Digg.com and several other news report sites, the actions of Anonymous began receiving media attention. The video reached over 3,000 diggs on Digg.com and remained to be on top for some time. At the current moment, there are five articles on Anonymous’s efforts on destroying Scientology from the internet that remain to be few of digg’s top articles on the front page, articles including downloads of some Scientology secret documents that had been leaked by Anonymous after hacking the official website. Some of these documents even include actual handwriting and notes from L. Ron Hubbard himself! Take a look! [2]

What started all this?

This announcement came as a response to attempts by the Church to keep secret an internal video meant to be viewed only by Scientologists, featuring actor Tom Cruise. Despite their efforts, the movie was leaked and rapidly spread across the Internet. The video caused much controversy, and members of Anonymous posted a message to several of their websites proclaiming war against Scientology.

The Church claimed copyright infringement and several videos throughout the internet were immediately removed. The only one I was able to find that still exists is on Gawker.com, who claims it is still news and will not be removed. If you dare watch the video, prepare to face a creepy Tom Cruise. His video raised enormous controversy around the web, even questioning his sanity.

Bookmark Digg, this is going to be one hell of a show to watch.

Eragon
.. Eragon for example. I thought Eragon was fairly enjoyable when I first saw it. I particularly liked it because I fancy Jeremy Irons, I was “aww’ing” the whole time when the dragon had hatched and was an adorable little baby, and I loved the idea that magic required the price of your strength being severely drained depending upon the type of magic being used. Then I saw it again a few days ago only to want to shoot my foot in embarrassment for ever saying that this was a relatively good movie.

It’s not.

After all the awful things I’m going to tell you about this movie, it isn’t so bad when you think about it. We’ve got an ordinary low-life who finds out he’s a somebody (Harry Potter) when a dragon egg comes into his possession and he is now left with a duty and burden he never asked for, but must nonetheless fulfill (Frodo and the one ring). Save the princess? Overthrow the king? Be driven by the death of your uncle and mentor? Blah blah, we’ve all heard this before.

Watching Eragon gives you an overwhelming sense of familiarity and reminds you of the movies that were far more original and better. If you saw this movie and want to slit your wrists over it, have no fear. You’ll have a strong, uncontrollable desire to pop in Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings to make yourself feel better and you’ll be glad you watched Eragon for that reason only. Since I first saw the movie, I loathed the main character because I found myself being drawn away from him rather than the usual infatuation you’re suppose to have for the main character. If the movie is going to have a young teenage boy star as the head hero, the producers of Eragon should have at least have chosen someone with decent talent and decent looks. Every five minutes of this movie I was swearing to myself because as fragmented this entire film was already, the main character stood out all wrong. When you hate a character that’s going to be on screen for almost every scene, then we have a problem.

It’s hard to believe Edward Speleers, who played the role as Eragon was the one who landed the role as he was just too inexperienced and so god damn blonde I couldn’t stand it. He is a shitty amateur actor who shouldn’t be doing films and needs to be sent back to acting school pronto. It was hilarious to see Irons and Speleers do scenes together. Irons plays the role as the supporting actor, but this poor fuck-up just couldn’t keep up with Iron’s talent and the huge gap between the two further exposed his god-awful acting skills. Murtagh, the creepy gothic-looking kid that aids him later on the movie would have been a slight improvement. I could think of some top young male actors who could have perfected this role and be more suited for it. Edward Speleers is not one of them; The chosen cast for this movie was definitely below poor. Plotline? Casting? 1/10

Secondly, this movie was a huge rip off of Lord of the Rings. Those black, mindless, slaves called “Urgols” are actually “orcs”. If you watch the scene when they’re forging their weapons and building their army to send forth to defeat the Vardin, pause it, now fast forward to the Isengard scene in the Fellowship of the Ring when the orcs are forging their weapons and breeding their army and fucking tell me it isn’t the same bloody scene, just horribly executed. Here’s another rip-off scene: Brom and Eragon are on their way to the Vardin when they hide behind some bushes and see Urgols attacking and harrassing a caravan of human travelers. Remember that scene in the Two Towers where the orcs were attacking Rohan villagers?

Arya is actually “Arwen”, Brom is somewhere between the wise Gandalf and the ass-kicking Aragorn (more like Aragorn than anything really). Durza is a somewhat cool version of a Ringwraith but his poor costume-design made his role unattractive, and the Vardin refuge definitely resembled a similar refuge in the Two Towers, known as Helm’s Deep. Anyone seeing a pattern yet? I hope so. Originality? -10/10

Thirdly, there was talk of a dragon in this movie. I didn’t see any dragon, I saw a gigantic lizard with feathered wings. Whoever designed Saphira obviously doesn’t understand the skeletal structure and/or the physical appearance of a dragon. Her face was smooth and very not-scary, her wings were pathetic and awkward, and she had teeth of a fucking herbivore. Altogether, Saphira was a half-breed bird, lizard.. thing. I don’t know where the dragon part comes in. Computer-Generated Graphics and other visual effects? 1/10

Trust me, this movie isn’t worth renting, leave it on the shelf so it can cripple and rot.

I Am Legend
When I first heard the name of the movie I already developed a distaste for it. I am legend? Can you get anymore cheesier than that when you’re talking about the last man on earth? Don’t let the name, Will Smith, or the lack of blood and gore in this movie fool you, this is another horrible end-of-the-world shit that is disguised but is clearly another fucking zombie movie. Don’t argue with me, the combined elements of a typical zombie movie says otherwise:

Virus? Check.
Everyone dead? Check.
Infected people feeding and/or attacking other people and infecting them? Check.
Evacuation? Quarantine attempt? Check.

OK then.

I was quite disappointed with this movie, I’ve heard great comments from people about this movie and I trusted that since it is #3 on the list of movies at the top of the box office, that it would be an enjoyable watch. I Am Legend failed to shine any of its interest on me. It was a complete bore, and like Eragon reminded me of other movies that were not necessarily better, but more entertaining concerning the whole zombies-end-of-the-world ordeal. I Am Legend stars Will Smith as Robert Neville, apparently the last man on earth alive is is oh so conveniently a colonel/soldier who has access to an unlimited amount of ammunition, firearms, and demolition (and of course knows how to use all of them quite excellently), and is so-incredibly-and-conveniently some type of bioengineering scientist who has the potential and knowledge to develop a cure for the virus. Now we have a bad ass-kicking scientist with an m4 who can find a cure to the virus and can defend himself with no problems, he is also conveniently immune to this virus. Why couldn’t they have a normal fuck-up who doesn’t know how to do anything, be immune to the virus? Doesn’t that sound more possible? Anyone catch on to this?

After 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Weeks Later, and all the Resident Evil films, you’d think Hollywood would finally get the zombie shit together.

Well they didn’t.

See, unlike all the horrible zombie movies where for some god forsaken reason, zombies want to kill people with the intent of getting their food, the need for blood, or rage got the best of them, I Am Legend zombies.. wait.. dark seekers, have absolutely no motive whatsoever.

You know that scene where the disobedient dog runs into a dark hollow building with fucking hibernating dark seekers inside for no fucking reason? Remember when he runs in to rescue his bitch (literally) and sees the dark seekers all huddle together in a cute little circle sleeping? Neville actually says that the dark seekers fed on the people that actually survived the virus, but why? Did the virus make them cannibals? Make them want blood? Or hell, make them want to add more people to their zombie army? The zombies sure as hell wasn’t attacking or feeding each other.

Off to the side, I thought it was rather ignorant and foolish of Robert to assume he is the last man alive. With how many gazillion people on this planet, he seriously thought he was the only one alive? He may have been the only one alive in New York, but not the whole fucking world. When the movie first started I already knew there were people alive, just not in Robert’s area of residence. Just because no one is alive in New York City, doesn’t mean there is no one alive in the entire fucking world.

I didn’t read the book, but this movie had just as much plot holes as POTCIII. This is a zombie movie. It fails like all the others and the only reason people said they liked it is because Will Smith finally makes an appearance in a movie that is not fucking Bad Boys and they’re applauding him for doing so.

Isn’t that what games are for? Entertainment? The thrill? The fun? The joy?

Games I played when I was young had shitty graphics and were anything but short of hi-tech, and now it seems the games have gone 3D with graphics so realistic that you’d shit yourself, but it seems game writers/producers have forgotten the meaning of “fun”. The graphics got better, but the storylines suck and well.. HURR it’s not fun anymore. Now when I play my games, I’m either shouting things to my PC I wouldn’t normally say and actually developed certain screeches to represent certain types of anger. Believe me, you don’t want to hear them.

The thing I’ve realized, is that I think game writers/producers know their creativity is buried and gone, so to compensate for it they rely on inserting certain features and techniques to get you to play the game like a fucking zombie, despite the fact that you hate the game with every fiber in your body. How do they accomplish this? Take World of Warcraft for example. When you first start, since you’ve already played severel different games before, already have it set in your mind that this game is beatable. You kill yourself till you’re level 70 and then you realize it’s too late. This game isn’t beatable and you’ve now wasted your time and money.

So why do you still play? Because you want cool looking gear, as well as the best gear in the game. You want your character to be the best, because MMO’s are all about the character. You grow with it, you want it to be the absolute best.

And it goes from there, consuming your soul.

Counter-Strike
I loved Counter-Strike. I mean who doesn’t like running around shooting people in the head? You can choose to be an emo teenager and gun down every asshole student.. ahem.. terrorist, or you could choose to go hide like a pussy and snipe terrorists/counter terrorists in the back head with a “where the fuck did that come from?”.

So what’s wrong? Counter-Strike, in my opinion, is not a game but rather a sport. You can choose to join a clan and have scrim matches or you can join pubs for hours on end- either way you choose it all boils down to one fucking requirement that I personally have a grudge against..

It requires skill.

Counter-Strike has no middle ground, you either suck balls or you’re fucking god-like. So if you buy this game, you have basically one option: Get good at it. Like I said, it’s a sport, so practice practice practice. Fuck, this game is the only reason I updated from a shitty Dell mouse to a Logitech and as if buying a new mouse just for a game doesn’t sound ridiculous by itself, getting good at the game is 70% skill and 30% prep. What do I mean by prep?

Well my brother was in CAL-I (aka Cyber Athlete League) for a while and used to show me how he literally spent an hour getting the right mouse sensitivity options and minutes later I found myself playing slightly better because my sensitivity options were fucking preset by a pro. We both then joined private servers so he can teach me “how to play good” and what this game boils down to is impulse control, aim, and learning where certain shots register. For example, I thought that directly aiming at the head will give me a headshot, but my brother taught me that if you really want to get a headshot, to aim for the neck so the recoil will land you the headshot instead. Why the fuck is this so complicated? I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to fucking sit there and play with the mouse sensitivity options for hour and then practice for another five hours just to be able to play well and fully enjoy a game.. er sport.

The only reason I quit this game is simple. I sucked at it and I expected every one of my kills to be a headshot; If it wasn’t a headshot I’d normally go batshit insane, and that amount of anger gets to be too stressful. Then I knew I had to fight my tears and fucking move on. I quit Counter-Strike completely. I uninstalled Steam and never looked back.

Oblivion
Then I played Oblivion. When I first played Oblivion I was completely.. fucking.. lost, mostly because of the confusing controls and lack of tutorials. I got so frustrated with the game I quit and didn’t give it a next shot until two months later. Oblivion is a good game, it’s fun, interactive, mysterious, and barely non-linear, but otherwise frustrating at times. I generally frown upon the use of cheats when playing a game, but I have to confess I beat this game with God Mode toggled on 24/7.

Why? Why else?

Don’t give me that “I beat Oblivion by myself with no cheats! HURRR” because I could care less or give a shit.

As soon as joined the game and learned that I can literally steal anything or kill anyone, I went right away to murdering the first bastard who said anything remotely rude or impolite. So I wanted to buy a horse and found out I was 1,000 gold short of money and the stable master gave the most rude comment ever that I punched him in the face and then stabbed him several times. He ran for the door crying for help, but I kept following and gave him one last blow and he died right by the door. Ah murder.

So when I went to sleep in an inn in order to rest and level up, I got a visit from an Assassins Guild representative who invited me into their order for my most evil act. To make a long story short, I did several assassin jobs to the point where I was totally off track from the main game’s storyline quests, that the assassin’s quests were the only quests that I had done so far (and were damn fun). Playing Oblivion as legit as can be, came to a dead halt when I was told to break into the Imperial Prison, sneak past two guards and murder a prisoner. The problem with guards in this game is that they seemingly have x-ray vision and no matter what potion or spell I used, they always saw straight through my invisibility. So I did a little research on the quest only to find out that there is only one spell that will work. In order to acquire it I had to have a fuckload of gold and be twenty levels higher in order to use it. Thanks.

The point is, you can’t just make a game open-ended and tell the player that they can choose to do what they like at any point in time, because it’s quite clear that there is a set path you must take in order to acquire levels and spells to complete certain quests.

Besides Oblivion’s non-linearity biting itself in the ass, this game is fucking impossible to completely beat without using cheats. The only way to level is to kill monsters, but the problem is that almost 99% of the monsters outclass you by a mile, and all you’ve got at the beginning of the game is a petty fireball spell that does 5pts worth of damage and takes away nearly half your mana when cast.

Yeah.

I played this game in God Mode and this game was still hard and frustrating to finish. A game this fun shouldn’t be this hard, most people don’t have the patience to see it through, and like everything else in the world, you’ve only got one shot to impress people and lure them in. Hell I almost threw Oblivion out the window when I first got it for the complicated controls, its lucky I even gave it a go a second time. All in all, it was okay, we quickly outgrew one another.

Fable: The Lost Chapters
It was fun while it lasted, too short, ridiculously easy, and claims to be non-linear. It’s a fucking lie.

OH, but it does give free blowjobs and pudding.

World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft isn’t a game, it’s a second job. You spend three months leveling your character to 70, doing quest after quest, grind after grind, dungeon after dungeon, only to be told the following when you reach 70:

1. Now you have to farm millions of reputation with millions of faction!
2. Now you have to farm reputation some more to do heroic dungeons!
3. Now raid!
4. And find good gear!
5. And that’s all there is to it!
6. And maybe PvP! Even though it was created to be unbalanced on purpose!
7. Now quit already! FUCK!

I’m exhausted by games that take the place as a second job (*cough* World of Warcraft), games that aren’t fun or playable without cheats (OBLIVION.. who said that?!), and games that are too short, ridiculously easy, and claim to be non-linear (Fable). So why can’t they think of someone new and interesting?

I’m sick of waiting. I need my fucking fix already.

After a long essay-writing final exam, I came home and studied till about 8 PM for the final I have the next morning. To unwind, I usually shower and have dinner while watching heroes. As soon as I raised my hand to press the Power button, I froze and got dumb-struck and yelled to myself, “Ah shit! The fucking writer’s strike! God fucking DAMNIT!” For the next twenty minutes I flipped through the channels, and even though I have over 200 channels, I couldn’t find shit to watch, so I ended up going back up to my room and ate my dinner while I played World of Warcraft. Pathetic.

I understand some people get underpaid, but I’d rather find another job then inconvenience thousands of people. About two years ago in New York City, the MTA Green Bus Lines decided to go on strike midday when people need to get to work and school. During that time, I took two buses to get home, approximately an hour a half of commute. After arriving to the terminal, I noticed that it was completely fucking empty. My parents were both at work, unable to pick me up, so I was stranded for about an hour outside during mid-january (aka freezing weather) until my uncle had to leave work to pick me up from the terminal. I didn’t get home till three to four hours later. For the next week my mother had to leave work early to pick me up from school. People whose lives revolved around public transportation got royally fucked. Some didn’t have any other way of getting to work, and missed a week of work. In fact, some people didn’t get paid, family’s didn’t get fed, and bills weren’t probably paid. People who desperately needed money had to financially suffer because fucktards from the Transit Union decided that if they are getting underpaid, they’re going to go on strike and bring everyone down with them.

There’s a reason that strikes are illegal, because your whiny boycott inconveniences thousands of people who shouldn’t have to suffer for your shitty problems. You know what the Transit Union did that day to avoid the law?

They called in sick.

And guess what? They got away with it. Sick. Day. My. Ass.

Going on strikes is selfish and stupid. What are we teaching our kids? If you don’t get what you want, stick your fingers in your ears and sing, “alalalalal I’m not listening alalala” till someone gets fed up and gives you what you want? I understand these people aren’t being paid their deserved amount for the amazing story lines they create, but I’m pretty sure discussing the matter would be more adult and mature. Here’s what they really did:

“Hey guys, we’re getting underpaid, let’s stop working till they pay us what we deserve- no need to bother asking beforehand! If we hurt them, put thousands of people out of jobs, and cost corporations millions, they’ll know we mean business and give us more!”

Grow. Up.