I vividly remember this kind of shit back in the 80′s during the worst of the AIDS crisis. Funny how much things change yet how much they stay the same.

It does make it challenging to just stand by and love everyone though! I guess I take a deep breath.

Whatever Happened to Love Thy Neighbor? is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

The words religion and spirituality are often used interchangeably; however, I believe that these are two very different concepts. Religion is a belief structure with a hierarchy that is controlled by those in power. Although religion came from spiritual teachings, it often morphs into a control structure that focuses more on keeping power and control rather than the original spiritual teaching. Many religions also have strong desires to increase their followers by conversion and often teach that their is the ‘correct’ or true belief and all others are less than the true. In other words – I’m right and you’re wrong.

On the other hand spirituality has no concept of right and wrong. Spirituality, by definition is a very personal belief. People may share their spiritual beliefs but few would try to convince someone that their belief is the true and correct belief. More often than not you’ll hear “whatever works for you.”

I’ve found that a spiritual practice has been very helpful for me. My spiritual practice embraces my identity as a queer man, it upholds the joy and the mystery of sexuality, it helps me find order in things that have no order and it connects me to the wonder of it all. My spiritual practice has elements of my Catholic upbringing, but also has elements of many other practices – some Western, some Eastern and some Pagan. It’s highly personal and is a reflection of who I am.

My spiritual beliefs are evolving and a result of years of exploration. Some of that exploration was learning from going down dead ends. These dead ends weren’t failures; rather, they helped my path to learn what is best for me.

Be an explorer!

Religion and Spritiuality is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

May Newsletter – Missed Opportunities is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

However, this evening the people of North Carolina effectively wrote discrimination and bigotry into their state constitution. I find it completely ironic that this is just another example of putting minority rights to a popular vote. Of course, the minority will lose – that’s why they’re a minority. I remember back to 7th grade when, in a government class, I was first introduced to the phrase majority rule with minority rights – I guess that was a bunch of bullshit!

Other than changing planes in Charlotte, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to North Carolina. I just find it humorous that many of the cities are named after cigarettes (or maybe it’s the other way around!) I guess I won’t be heading there anytime soon.

I’m mad at religion for assuming that the only route to God is through their doctrine. I’m mad at religion for ignoring Jesus’ call to love and heal and instead they focus on hate and bigotry. I’m mad at religion for focusing on all this external behavior rather than (at least to me) the true nature of religion which about developing a very personal, internal relationship with God. The religious bigots are so focused on us and them – good and evil. It’s so easy to look at everything from a binary perspective. Yet, the world isn’t binary. If all we see is good and evil we miss so much because we’ve vested in being right. To me, spirituality is about – letting go of ego and letting things be. As someone once said to me in a very different context, it’s about the tyranny of the word or and the power of the word and.

Anyway, I’m sure this effort to enshrine discrimination into the constitution will continue. I”m curious how much (tax exempt) money churches spent on this political battle. I”m even more curious how these churches justify spending limited resources on a political issue rather than heeding Jesus’ call to care for the less fortunate. How many people could have been clothed or fed from the money spent on politics?

Seems to me that organized religion is missing something.

Voting Against Minority Rights – Again! is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

Earlier that year, then-Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders was fired for saying that masturbation should be discussed as part of young peoples’ sex education. We were astounded. It was one of the most sensible things we’d ever heard a government official say — and it cost Elders her job! We started National Masturbation Month to raise awareness, and because we wanted to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: it’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s free, it’s pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses. Of all the kinds of sex people can have, masturbation is the most universal and important, yet few people talk about it freely — worse, many people still feel it is “second best” or problematic in some way. National Masturbation Month lets us emphasize how great it is: it’s natural, common and fun! This year’s theme is “D.I.Y.” Do it yourself! Nobody does it better!

One of the things I’ve noticed is that, for most guys, we learn about masturbation in our early teens and often don’t change the way we pleasure ourselves since that time. Think about it, look at what you liked when you were 13 years old. How many of those things do you like today? If you’re like most, your tastes have changed considerably, yet many of us masturbate the exact same way we did back then.

At that time our goals were to get things done quickly and quietly so that we didn’t get caught.  Consequently, we learned to go really fast, be very quiet and quickly get rid of any evidence of what we were doing.

Try something new. Slow down. Take the first 10 to 15 minutes and engage your body everywhere except your genitals. Take your time a warm up; take nice deep breaths. After this introductory time, try out different strokes. We all have our favorites, but changing the stroke can bring entirely new sensations. Go slow; let go of having to be hard and allow your body to react naturally. As you go slow and take your time, you may find some entirely new and welcome sensations. When you’re done, don’t immediately reach for the towel and get up. Savor the sensations – they keep coming. Allow yourself the luxury of taking in the entire experience.

May is National Masturbation Month is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

It is absolutely ridiculous that in 2012 someone’s job could be in jeopardy because they choose or are even curious about a perfectly legal and consensual activity. Culturally, we’re afraid of sex.

At the airport on the way home there were many ‘God Bless the Troops’ signs. These signs were somewhat in my face – not because of the message – rather, it was a reminder of the constant and low level of war that had become the background noise of our culture.

We’ve made war more or less socially acceptable and a constant. I’m reminded of the original Star Trek episode A Taste of Armageddon (yes, I’m a trekkie) where two planets were fighting a war by computer for over 500 years. Since there wasn’t real destruction and real pain, the war just kept on going – there was no incentive to stop it. I’m concerned that we’ve entered into a not too dissimilar view toward war. For most of us, it’s just the background noise of life that adds a layer of fear to everything we do. Makes me want to go to the God Bless the Troops sale at Walmart and buy USA underwear.

Speaking of airports… The entire security process is designed to add to our fear. Of course, air travel should be safe. Unfortunately the security screening process seems more like a show than actual security. There’s lots of extra process and we feel exposed and vulnerable (ok, sometimes exposed and not vulnerable) while holding our arms up and getting scanned under our clothes, yet the risk reduction really isn’t that great given the extra invasion of privacy. But it’s a great show to remind everyone how fearful we should be! The primary security enhancement since 9/11 isn’t the TSA or all the extra security screening; instead, the real enhancement is the difficulty in accessing the cockpit of a plane – that’s the real control!

So then we get to Chicago for a 2 hour wait to change planes. As we’re strolling about the airport the pleasant, yet stern voice comes on the terminal speakers reminding everyone that germs are everywhere and that we should wash our hands to protect ourselves from those nasty germs. Do I really need a loud PA reminder to wash my hands? Oh yea, germs are gonna kill me too. Sorry, I forgot to be afraid of something that humans have lived with since the dawn of time. Quick get me to the soap, water and sanitizer – stat!

Whatever happened to common sense?

Fear and Control is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

I’m currently wrapping up a long weekend of kink instruction at Kinky Camp, A part of the weekend was a workshop on anal pleasure. I covered many aspects of anal pleasure from very light external touch through and including fisting.

I believe that there are many misconceptions about fisting. Of course fisting isn’t for everyone; however, in porn it’s often depicted as an aggressive and domineering activity. Although it can be that way, it’s also a way for two people to share a close and very intimate connection.

Since many of the people coming to Kinky Camp were novices, and even fewer had any experience with fisting, Scratch and I decided to include a demonstration with my talk.

As I was preparing for the demo the voices in my head became quite loud. Here I was about to have my butt on display for about 30 men. What would happen if I wasn’t ready? What if I wasn’t clean? What if my butt was tight and I couldn’t take Scratch’s hand?

As we started, I found that the connection I had with Scratch enabled me to overcome the noise in my head. The connection and the trust helped me feel in my body that everything would be OK.

Not only did this trust help me, it also helped the men witnessing, many of whom commented that they had never seen fisting before. Given the intensity of what was happening, the energy of the room was very calm and peaceful.

After the demo was complete and we reengaged with the room, I shared the feelings that were going on for me with the men in the room I found that sharing my insecurities and doubts was able to engage some of the men witnessing to share their feelings about the experience too.

Many of the men commented that the demo was very informative and was an important part of the weekend. All in all, a very valuable reminder of the payback in being vulnerable and authentic.

Vulnerability and Authenticity is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

April Newletter – Values is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

You may have to login to view because YouTube calls this mature content. I call this funny!

LMFAO! is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men

• The “Blunt amendment” was a failed attempt by Republicans to allow firms with moral objections to opt out of providing healthcare covering birth control. Imagine that, your employer could pick and choose what medical conditions they choose to cover and which ones they don’t cover. I can just see the list of morally objectionable medical conditions!
• The state senate in Virginia has passed a law requiring a woman to have an ultrasound before having an abortion. Originally the law had also mandated a vaginal probe aimed at detecting a heartbeat in the fetus. Let’s do unnecessary and invasive procedures to ‘counsel’ a woman on what to do with HER body!
• In Utah politicians have passed a local law that bans sex education that mentions homosexuality, birth control techniques and any discussion of sex outside marriage. Instead schools will be required to give sex education on the grounds of “abstinence only” or they can not mention the subject at all. We all know how well abstinence only sex education works. Oh, and when that young gay kid has the courage and trust to ask a teacher about his or her sexuality, the state of Utah restricts the teacher from saying anything!

The list goes on and on!

Almost every day I get a question from adult men about sexuality. These men are asking intimate and important questions because no one ever gave us accurate answers. Our culture is afraid of sex.

For my small part, I’ve recommitted myself to the importance of erotic education. Accurate, safe, age appropriate information is a fundamental right. If the Republicans have their way we’ll be mindless drones. I will not be assimilated!

Race to the Bottom is a post from: Sacred Touch for Men