First of all, I want to apologise for my absence in the past six months. The Salaazy project is not dead. Neither am I.

Being a personal development coach requires me to go into myself regularly so I can fix my own issues first before I try to help you fix yours.

When I started planning and actually creating my website I was naturally high and full of energy. I liked what I was doing. I was writing. And in December 2012 I understood that writing is (and always was) my true passion. So I wrote.

I created a novel in December and published it in January. Since then I’ve been doing marketing. I’m already planning a second novel which I intend to start in a few days so that I can self-publish it in May 2013.

I’m happy with my “decision” to “comply” to what my heart told me.

But I didn’t feel I had enough time to go on with salaazy.com since December 2012. I want to serve only the best articles. The articles that I would have published probably would not have met my high standards. So I decided the Salaazy project had to rest a bit.

I’m very happy that I’ve already managed to attract a lot of people surfing the very same wave as I do.

Anyway, my original “game plan” was to publish a couple of articles per week and as you can see by looking into my archives I didn’t follow suit for very long.

I know now that I was planning far too strictly, putting a noose around my neck until I couldn’t breathe anymore.

Today I understand how it works. I’m now able to do both things. I will continue this blog so that you – my readers – can grow with me. And I will pursue my career as an author.

Frederik

PS: Please understand that I’m not able to disclose my pseudonyms yet since I’m still learning to play this funny self-publishing game. I feel much more comfortable with that right now. Besides, my novels are written in German and my blog articles are written in English, so I’m attracting a totally different audience I suppose.

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Some people are rich and others are poor.

Most of us have enough to eat but only few people make enough money to become independently wealthy.

It seems that we have to make a decision: we can risk everything and start our own business or we can go with the flow and get a lousy 9-5 job.

Well, needless to say most people go for option B. They have a family to feed and they don’t want to end up homeless…

That’s perfectly understandable – but have you ever considered becoming independently wealthy (even faster than you can imagine) without risking your job, your home and your entire life?

If not, no problem. Read on to learn the secret of becoming wealthy. I will show you how average-income employees can add to their cash flow by doing what they already love to do!

Why Some People Are Rich While Others Are Poor

When it comes to money our world seems to be unbalanced, even unfair. Some people can hardly afford to pay their mortgage while others could buy a new house every day if they wanted to.

Many hard-working people literally freak out about the income of famous athletes, musicians or actors: “How can they have so much money for doing so little work?”

Today, in our modern society, working hard is not longer a synonym for being wealthy. Working hard doesn’t pay off as often as it should. Perhaps you’re one of these people who work ten or more hours per day but still don’t earn enough money to feel secure.

There is a simple reason for this “imbalance”. People who become rich usually take risks in order to serve as many people as possible. Yes, that’s right! While it seems that Bill Gates (entrepreneur), Steve Nash (basketball professional) and Rihanna (musician) don’t “work” at all they still earn tons of money (literally). That’s because they make millions of people happy, each and every day.

Entertainment is what people want in their lives. They don’t want their lives to be boring. Most people are not aware of their creative powers so they rely on others who unleash their own creative powers to please them.

Bill Gates helped spreading the personal computer so that we can communicate more efficiently. Steve Nash is one of the smallest players in the NBA but he’s a master of three point throws making the croud scream and cheer. Rihanna creates music that millions of people like to listen to. Without Rihanna their world would be less colorful. Rihanna, Steve Nash and Bill Gates share their creativity with those who think they can’t be creative. The “uncreative” pay them money for creating stuff. It’s that simple.

Working hard can pay off. But working hard without people noticing won’t. Working hard for your boss won’t lead to success. Your boss needs you right there where you can barely move. Not because he’s evil but because he needs people to take action. It takes only one great idea to invent the personal computer but it takes thousands of hands to put the parts together…

Since this is pretty tough stuff, let’s look into the following examples to make clear what you can do to become independently wealthy without risking everything.

Three Examples Of Average-Income Employees

What could John do? He’s a teacher, so he knows how to teach. Remember: making money means making people happy. A teacher is in a difficult position since most of his students don’t like him because, well, he is a teacher. John has a hard time making these kids happy. It’s an uphill battle – fortunately it’s not necessary to fight, after all.

Here’s what John could do to improve his cash flow: he could set up a Youtube channel and show others how to write. Writing is pretty popular nowadays, so there is definitely a market. His wife knows a lot of tricks about online business because she’s gained valuable experience over the last few years.

In addition to the Youtube channel (which would quickly attract people who want to become writers as well) John could create a blog. No, not about writing. He should create a blog about teaching. There are thousands of teachers who would like to make some extra cash. John can teach them how to do exactly that by writing down his entire journey.

Online advertising, Youtube partnerships and perhaps even his own product (a book about his new “career”) will add to his income.

What could Christina do to improve her cash flow? She’s a funny person and people love funny guys and gals. Perhaps she could try to put a foot into the comedy business? She could also utilize Youtube to get her face (and humor) seen. Her son could help her with that as he is probably very good with computers and new technology.

Another viable option for Christina would be the creation of a recipe book which can be published via Amazon for free.

Many people I know love the food that is served at small dining restaurants. I do as well. There’s a market for that and Christina could easily tap into that very market.

And imagine how great it would be if Christina combined her ability to make people laugh with her ability to creative tasty recipes? The outcome would be a totally hilarious book which could attract thousands and thousands of readers.

And if writing is nothing for her she could create a comedy channel on Youtube focusing on “creative cooking”.

How could Alexander make some extra cash? Easy. He could talk to all the fitness studio owners in his area and make a simple deal: once per week he can use one of the rooms to teach a small class of ten people effecient self defense. He doesn’t have to label it “Karate” but mentioning that he’s a policeman will help to build credibility and trust.

The fitness studio owners get a 30% cut of what he earns. He can multiply his income if he makes several deals with several studios. Do the math: $20 per hour, ten people, three times per week makes $600 per week. Minus 30% it’s still $400 per week or $1600 per month.

If Alexander is good he will teach on five days of the week (still one hour per day) and make a whopping $2800 per month. It’s time to quit the grueling day job :-)

How To Earn More Money Without Quitting Your Job

As you can see, setting up additional streams of income is a question of creativity. Making some extra cash doesn’t necessarily involve risks. All the above examples are realistic. If you’re in a similiar position you could start making a plan today. Let me show you how to start.

1. Clear your mind and focus
The jobs mentioned above are not bad but regarding the possible cash flow they are very limited. It doesn’t matter how good you are as a teacher – you won’t earn more than other teachers who don’t give a damn about teaching.

Realize that any nine-to-five is some kind of dead end. You can make a career inside the specific branch but you will hardly overcome the boundaries which would enable you to earn more money. A teacher is a teacher is a teacher.

But, on the other hand, being a teacher, a waitress or a policeman is great so that you can feel safe. You can live from these jobs. But you can’t make big steps with this kind of salary.

2. Think outside the box
In order to earn more money and become independently wealthy you have to think outside the box. If you want to make money you will have to make somebody happy. The more people you make happy the more money you’ll earn from them.

So it’s obvious that you have to aim for bigger audiences (or higher per-hour payments which is much more complicated).

What do you love? Certainly you have some kind of hobby which you could turn into money. What do you do best? Is it martial arts? Is it cooking? Is it writing?

Which of your unique abilities do you want to share with people around the world who lack this very ability of yours?

3. Write down your plan
If it’s the first time that you think of becoming independent from your day job you’ll need to write down EVERYTHING in the process.

Plan your success. Talk to your friends about your idea. Involve other people who might be able to help you get what you want.

Do research. Is there a market for your idea? (I’m sure there is. It’s pretty hard nowadays to come up with ideas which you cannot turn into gold.)

Plan your success and do it step by step. Don’t rush it. You don’t particularly need the extra cash so you can calm down and be patient. You already have some kind of safety – relax!

Be sure to mold your idea in a way that enables you to act upon it in your (rare) spare time! Start with a small project and see how far it’ll get you.

4. Act upon your plan
Don’t exaggerate the planning. You can start within a week if you already have some kind of idea.

It’s really that simple. In order to become independently wealthy you have to start thinking independently. You have to start acting independently. Don’t wait for others (your boss, your spouse, your parents) to approve your ideas. Act upon them, regardless of what they think of it.

Have fun.

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Some relationships don’t seem to work out like we thought they would. Sometimes we break up with a partner, part ways with friends or even stop talking to members of our own family.

This happens when a relationship has become toxic.

While the symptoms of the unlucky people trapped in a toxic relationship are different, the solution to any of the problems that occur within this context is pretty simple.

In the following paragraphs I’ll explain to you how to mix your own antidote to your toxic relationship and how to apply it so that things become better.

Please note that I’m mostly referring to intimate relationships between loving couples. You can of course use the methodes described in this article for any kind of toxic relationship!

PS: Splitting up is always the easiest way but it’s only seldom the right one.

“The Dose Makes The Poison” – What Is A Toxin, Anyway?

There are substances that seem to be more toxic than others. In reality nothing is toxic per se. You could kill yourself by cutting your wrists so that you bleed to death. You could kill yourself by blowing your head off with a gun. And you could kill yourself with one of thousands of toxic substances available for anybody who craves them…

Did you know that you can also kill yourself by eating a cigarette instead of smoking it? Or that one pound of salt, ingested rapidly, will also lead to your (painful) death?

Our body reacts to the substances we give to him. Even the substances that our body needs in order to function can, if overdosed, be toxic.

What if Paracelsus’ wisdom is also true for non-physical things? What if thoughts, feelings and behavioral patterns could be toxins in some way as well?

Let’s assume that Paracelsus is right and that even something like a relationship between human beings can become toxic, can be poisened.

Typical Toxic Reactions

The following thoughts, feelings and behavioral patterns are known to poison a relationship:

1. “But I want it THAT way.” (egoism)

A relationship won’t work if you think about yourself all the time. Well, thinking about yourself isn’t really the issue here; what I mean is something more subtle.

Being selfish is not a big deal. We all are selfish, it’s in our nature. But we’re not solely (!) selfish beings. We’re also social beings. Lacking all sorts of empathy will lead to a poisened relationship regardless of your beauty, your intellect or the amounts of money in your bank account.

You don’t have to make compromises in order to have a healthy relationship although many people prefer making compromises so that they don’t have to think about themselves too often and too thoroughly. By making compromises in a relationship you’ll make things “easier” but not necessarily healthier!

2. “Why doesn’t she kiss me good night anymore?” (self-doubt)

Many people start thinking about things like that a few weeks or months after becoming partners in a relationship. The love frenzy is over and things are getting normal. And “suddenly” we receive less love, both physically and emotionally.

In most cases it’s not even true!

Am I still good enough? Am I already boring? Will she leave me?

Thinking thoughts like these is a strong sign for critical self-doubts which can turn a healthy relationship into a toxic relationship in a matter of days.

3. “I won’t let you go out dancing alone!” (jealousy)

Ah, jealousy. The #1 reason for people splitting up, divorcing, hating each and even one of the most common reasons for murder!

Being jealous means fearing the loss of the partner to somebody else. Well, you can’t lose your partner because you never “have” him or her.

Jealousy, untreated, is a sure-fire way to destruct a relationship within a few minutes. Getting rid of self-doubts is crucial in this case!

4. “It’s boring in this relationship.” (boredom)

Suddenly (or not so suddenly) being with your partner doesn’t look that appealing anymore. The relationship has become boring, even empty.

Many uncreative people flee into affairs or even end the relationship so that they don’t lose any time while idleing with a mind-numbing partner…

5. “How are we going to pay the bills next month?” (general fear)

A lot of couples break up because they (as individuals) fear the future. It’s not even remotely about things going wrong within the relationship. At least it’s not when this kind of downward spiral begins to spin like crazy.

After some time these people start worrying about the little things that go wrong and only shortly after that they start yelling at each other because they need some kind of scapegoat for their miserable situation…

Toxic thoughts, feelings and behavioral patterns are of course not limited to the points above but you should understand what it’s all about so that you can identify what’s poisoning your relationship.

The Antidote To Any Toxic Relationship

Well, the antidote to any toxic relationship is simply this: appreciation.

If you appreciate yourself and your partner nothing can go wrong in the long run.

Once you’ve poisoned yourself, your partner and your relationship you need something positive to counteract the harm you’ve done.

Appreciation is the key. Really, it’s that easy. You don’t need to look for expensive (and grueling) counseling, you won’t have to have an affair to balance things and you certainly don’t have to split up – the latter doesn’t even improve your current situation so it’s definitely the worst thing to do when things are screwed.

Appreciate yourself first, then everything else.

Always start with yourself when you’re looking for a solution to a problem. It’s easier that way. It may be enticing to look for the faults in your partner and point at him (or her) saying: “You see, it’s your fault that… bla bla bla.” – but in reality it won’t help a bit.

Appreciation is what brought you two together, it’s what made you feel attraction towards each other.

If you find it difficult to appreciate yourself, your partner or your relationship as a whole you will speed up the process by finding little things that you can appreciate.

That could be your ability to make others smile. Or your ears which remind you of elven ears, like ivory, long and beautiful. Be creative. Phantasize.

You’ll certainly find a few little things that you can appreciate in your partner, e.g. his or her ability to hold your hand and make you feel “home”, instantly. Or it could be his or her scent, unique and special to you only.

And there are things that happened (and still happen) in your relationship that are worth your appreciation as well: your ability to go through thick and thin or the rare, thus exclusive time you spend together on the weekends, alone, naked, absorbed by love and attraction…

Appreciation is the antidote to any toxic relationship. It can work wonders if you manage to gain trust again which is needed to pour the antidote down the relationship’s throat.

PS: If this is too metaphorical for your taste, just ignore the symptoms of the poisoning and remember where, when and how your joint journey began. Start over again if you want. And I know that you want to, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this last sentence so desperately.

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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One of the first books I read on the “law of attraction” was from Esther Hicks (Abraham Hicks). One of the exercises she claimed to be extremely powerful was pretty simple and I did it several times already.

But this month I decided to make it “official” and create a little 30 day challenge so that I had to write down one thing that I appreciate each and every day.

You can read the outcome below and if you’re interested in this experiment as well you’ll find some additional information in the last paragraph of this little article.

My 30 Days Of Appreciation (September 2012)

09/01 – I appreciate my friends to be so understanding after I cleared out and kept quiet for many (lonely) years.

09/02 – I appreciate my ability to create ‘something’ out of ‘nothing’, especially when it comes to independent work and income ideas.

09/03 – I appreciate my partner to grow with me and long for seemingly impossible things in life.

09/04 – I appreciate that my body is healthy and that I can run ten miles straight whenever I want.

09/05 – I appreciate the variety of food that is available for us to ingest.

09/06 – I appreciate my ability to laugh and make others laugh.

09/07 – I appreciate the beautiful weather right now which enables me to work outside in the warm September sun.

09/08 – I appreciate living in a global society where I can think, say, do and be whatever I want.

09/09 – I appreciate knowing lovely people with whom I like to surround myself.

09/10 – I appreciate living on such a multi-faceted planet which provides for all of us.

09/11 – I appreciate my body’s healing powers and that I didn’t need a doctor in more than seven years.

09/12 – I appreciate all the great teachers and coaches I’ve had the opportunity to learn from. Thanks!

09/13 – I appreciate the invention of caffeine-free coffee. It’s delicious while not making me jittery, nice.

09/14 – I appreciate that I’ve got a free will and can think, feel and do whatever I want.

09/15 – I appreciate attracting the perfect people in the perfect moment.

09/16 – I appreciate the cooking of my partner.

09/17 – I appreciate the heating technology that’s keeping me warm in fall and winter.

09/18 – I appreciate pure consciousness which surrounds us, which fulfills us, which we indeed ARE.

09/19 – I appreciate my physical abilities which enable me to see, touch, smell, hear and taste our world.

09/20 – I appreciate the marvelous sky from yesterday evening. It was an exhilarating view.

09/21 – I appreciate that I’m able to inspire myself and also other people.

09/22 – I appreciate today’s uber-challenge: my first half-marathon.

09/23 – I appreciate the variety of creatures that inhabit our planet.

09/24 – I appreciate my newborn ability to move on when things happen that I don’t like initially.

09/25 – I appreciate the rising level of consciousness in our society.

09/26 – I appreciate fruitful conversations with strangers who then become friends.

09/27 – I appreciate my adventurous and sometimes even prophesying dreams during the nights.

09/28 – I appreciate music.

09/29 – I appreciate the cycle of life.

09/30 – I appreciate the thoughts, feelings and actions this 30 day challenge provoked.

How To Make The Best Of This 30 Day Challenge

Exercising appreciation feels great but be aware of the fact that it might seem difficult to come up with any ideas every now and then. Sometimes I sat at my desk, ready to type and nothing happened.

I had to think about something I appreciate. I took this as a “bad” sign since I want to find reasons to say “Thank you” without hesitation.

Now, 30 days later, it’s much easier for me to exercise gratitude and that was exactly what I thought on the last day of my challenge: I appreciate the thoughts, feelings and actions this 30 day challenge provoked.

If you want to exercise this experiment as well you should obtain some kind of notebook and a pen. You should place your tools on your desk or beneath your bed. Otherwise you might forget about your little challenge pretty soon. (I forgot to write down something I appreciate on two days although I had even attached a note to my calendar so that I don’t forget…)

You can of course use your computer to put this challenge into action – I did with this blog.

Have fun!

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We all love spring and summer, when it gets warmer, when we can go outside again, when we can enjoy nature without freezing.

Most of us don’t like fall and winter because these are pretty uncomfortable seasons compared to spring and summer. But in reality all four seasons are equally beautiful and should be enjoyed likewise.

The following 33 reasons to enjoy the cold seasons will help you to make the most of fall and winter.

33 Reasons To Enjoy Fall And Winter

Fall and winter are not that horrible; it’s a matter of perception and you’re here to change your point of view. Have fun!

Well, hopefully you’ll have as much fun in the cold seasons as I’m going to have.

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I love cats! I was accompanied by cats from the day I was born until recently. When the last cat passed away that was a sad moment for me. I had lost a friend.

But we’re not here to mourn. A few days ago I remembered my furry friend and thought about the good times we spent together. And then I realized that my cat was not only a pet or a friend, it was also my mentor.

And that’s why I want to share five lessons my deceased cat taught me about life with you. Have fun!

Lesson 1: Seize The Day

Cats seem to be masters of procrastination because they sit and lie around all day. But that’s a pretty flawed point of view. In reality cats seize the day and make the most of it.

When I was working I sometimes looked at my cat and I knew that she was doing it right. Why bother with so much work if you can do as little as possible and then go out and play in the sun!

My cat taught me to prioritize in a way that makes me happy first and then everything else.

Lesson 2: Relaxation Is Healthy

Cats sleep up to 16 hours per day. At least they have their eyes closed most of the time. Have you ever watched a cat sleeping? They’re happy. Cats are the most balanced creatures I’ve ever met. They spend a lot of time relaxing and it seems like that’s their secret to ‘success’.

I learned that relaxing is healthy and that it’s refreshing, especially after working hard for hours and days.

Everytime I watched my cat lying in the sun I knew that I should join her. Too often I did not listen and kept working. Today I do what my heart tells me.

Lesson 3: Begin The Day With Grooming

Cats do not only sleep the whole day, no, they spend most of the time they’re awake with grooming. Cats do always smell good, their fur is always clean, their teeth are razorsharp and dazzling white – cats look beautiful and if you watch closely you understand why that is.

We feel so much better after taking a refreshing shower in the morning, shaving our beards (or other parts of the body) and brushing our teeth. Grooming can be fun and it’s vital if you want to be successful. Being beautiful (or at least doing everything in your power to come close to being beautiful) helps when you want to connect with people.

Cats do always look like tiny, furry queens and that’s why we admire then. They’re flawless on the outside. That’s attractive and we – human beings – can also be attractive by utilizing all sorts of body care.

Lesson 4: Be Nice If You Want Something

Cats are charming by nature and they have one of the most important bargaining tools at their disposal: niceness.

When a cat meows we try to do anything to make her comfortable. Cats are nice to us when they want food or their share of kindness and affection.

I learned it the hard way. I was not always nice and I remember that life was a struggle until I decided to be nice whenever I need help or want something from somebody. Of course that’s also a pretty flawed approach but over time I learned that I can (and should) be nice all the time.

My cat taught me that life is much easier when you’re nice.

Lesson 5: Patience Is Key While Hunting

Cats hunt prey and they’re good at it. They’re fast. They’re focused. And most importantly they’re patient.

Once they see something they want they wait for the perfect moment and then everything is over pretty quick. Cats seldom fail while hunting. They’re able to wait hours for their perfect moment. They’re patient because they know that their prey is not.

They know that it’s only a matter of time until their prey makes a mistake. And they wait until then.

I found that always extremely fascinating but never utilized it for my own little ‘hunts’.

Today, after realizing what a great lesson my deceased cat taught me about hunting, I can maintain my position patiently and wait for the perfect moment as well. I learned that I don’t have to rush things.

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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The self-help business (which I’m part of as well) is extremely profitable. People nowadays want to do everything on their own. They believe that they can fix themselves and that’s great because nothing makes me happier than seeing that the people around me evolve and move on to achieve what they really want in life!

But there is one minor issue: since the self-help market is expanding faster than ever many people are overwhelmed by all the products and services one can find today in order to receive some kind of life coaching.

While being overwhelmed is certainly a nice experience when you’re in the movies to watch the latest 3D blockbuster it is totally contraproductive if you seek guidance and if you plan to take control over your life.

In this little article you can find out all about the 10 signs of self-help overdosage. I’ve added a few simple advices that are listed below.

Test Yourself – Be Honest

Let’s begin with the list of 10 signs of self-help overdosage.

You bought more than 10 self-help books in 2011/12

I think it’s great that you try to get as much information as possible in order to help yourself but if you’ve bought more than 10 self-help books within one year you’re exaggerating.

Most self-help books (at least the good ones) are not only full of wisdom and positive thought but also enriched with sections which ask you to DO something, to CHANGE something, to MOVE ON.

And if you’re still buying self-help books instead of making use of them you’re probably suffering from self-help overdosage.

You’re subscribed to daily positive thought newsletters

Positive thoughts are great. I think positivity is much nicer than the opposite. But positive thought is not what will turn around your life. Positive thought is a good start but you have to put your positive thoughts into action. And before you can do that you have to start feeling positive.

If posivite thought helps you to act upon your plans and ideas that’s fine but in my experience most people who’re subscribed to one of these positive thought newsletters believe they become almighty and successful by gulping down some quotes by famous people. And that’s definitely not the case.

You’ve watched ‘The Secret’ more than twice

Ah, ‘The Secret’. I like that movie and millions of people who want to change something in their lives like that movie as well. Are you one of these people? And have you indeed watched ‘The Secret’ more than twice? If you did I’d like to know why you’re still consuming the footage instead of making use of it.

‘The Secret’ can change your life but it’s not the time you spend watching this movie that will change your life, it’s the time you spend on the techniques that you can learn by watching it.

So, if you plan to watch ‘The Secret’ again make sure that you make notes. Instead of spending two hours on the movie you can then simply look at your notes and start doing something.

You understand ‘The Secret’ but nothing happens

I know a few people who have watched ‘The Secret’ and claim to have understood the subtle message that it delivers. And still nothing has changed in their lives.

Knowing how something works does not mean that you also know how to apply what you’ve learned.

You can move on with your life and put your knowledge into action if you dare to make the first step. Sitting on your couch, knowing how ‘it’ works and telling others that they should also watch ‘The Secret’ because they would then know ‘it’ as well just doesn’t make any sense.

If you understand ‘The Secret’ it’s time that you act upon it.

People around you think you’re going mental

If your family, your friends, your colleagues or even strangers tell you to calm down with your ‘esoteric stuff’ it’s time to reevaluate your situation.

Are you really on the right track or are you lost? It’s no big deal to get lost every now and then, you don’t have to know the right direction all the time. But you should at least know (roughly) how far it is to reach your goal.

Are you close to what you really want or are you miles away from what you seek in life?

When other people think you’re a bit crazy about your own journey you should stop right there and change your point of view so that you can analyze your situation objectively.

Your daily todo list contains more than 10 items

Perhaps you’ve been introduced to popular techniques like GTD (getting things done) and you’re trying to implement these methods into your own life and still you have the feeling that nothing happens. If you do, you should check your daily todo list. Does it contain more than 10 items? If it does you’re trying to accomplish too many tasks at once.

You should reduce the items on your daily todo lists to five, six or seven. Try to do more by sticking with less tasks per day. You’ll see that – after time – you’ll achieve more of what you really want if you stick with only very few things on your list. Concentrate on what you really want. Let others do the rest.

Your last seminar cost more than your monthly salary

Visiting a self-help seminar can be extremely refreshing but you should be realistic about your choices. It’s not really a good sign if you pay more than what you earn in order to join a self-help guru on his own mission to financial freedom.

There are plenty of opportunities for people who don’t have millions in their bank accounts (yet). Choose from these and move on from there.

It doesn’t help if you risk debt to visit a seminar. Besides: if you can’t afford something right now that’s not because everything in our world is too expensive but because you haven’t understood yet how to accumulate the adequate amount of money.

Your way to the top is full of obstacles and sometimes a money issue is one of them. It’s all about overcoming these obstacles, bit by bit, slowly, steadily.

You try to ‘fix’ other people

If you’re known as somebody who drowns people who cry once per year with truckloads of your own self-help books and dvds you’re probably on the wrong track.

It’s not your responsibility to fix other people. You can’t do anything about other people’s problems. Yes, you can help them get through their own misery but you can’t remove their own misery simply by giving them something to read.

Most people I know who constantly try to fix other people have a life full of misery on their own.

Try to get your own life ‘fixed’ before you bother other people with hints and clues from self-help books that you clearly didn’t understand yourself.

You talk like Tony Robbins & Co.

Maybe you’ve seen Tony Robbins already, either live or on Youtube. He’s a great man and he has a plethora of phrases that he spreads when he’s on stage. And he’s doing an excellent job because he does not stop there. He talks big AND he acts even bigger. That’s not only his secret to success, all people you’ve heard of know that talking big does not equal being big.

So, if you talk like Tony Robbins or any other self-help guide you have to act upon your words. Can you do that? Or are you just hiding behind phrases so that you don’t have to reevaluate your own sad situation?

Repeating phrases from successful people is not a sign of strength. As long as you don’t live by your own words you should keep quiet and learn until you really understand what Tony Robbins & Co. are talking about.

You recognize yourself in this very list

If you’re guilty of any of the above things you can consider yourself to be a self-help addict who needs a break!

Helping yourself succeed should be fun and not some kind of tough business. You shouldn’t rush these things. You took your time to become mediocre so it’s quite logical that you’ll need some time to become superior, isn’t it?

Self-help overdosage is not healthy. It’s also not critical but in order to really achieve what you really want you should kick your habit.

Simple Advices That Will Help You Out Of Your Vicious Circle

Overcoming something like a self-help book addiction isn’t that hard. Once you realize that you’ve been treading water you should laugh at your silliness and move on.

It’s time that you put into action what you already know theoretically. And if you want to help other people so that they can help themselves as well you should give them your self-help books as a gift. A worn self-help book will be received with trust because it seems to be interesting to be read (you did, didn’t you?).

The easiest way to get back on your personal track to success is to go back (virtually) and find some kind of entry point again so that you can move on from there, this time for real, without the fuss.

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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Three weeks ago I saved the life of an earwig. It had made its way through a hazelnut shell and – probably after eating too much of the nut itself – was then stuck in this shell. I found the earwig while eating hazelnuts myself in the garden of my partner’s parents.

At first I thought the earwig was already dead but after tipping its tail (which I could touch because it was hanging out from the hole it dug into the hazelnut) it moved and tried to pinch me.

I looked at this little animal which was trapped inside the hazelnut and imagined a human being in the same situation. I would help him or her. And so I decided I should also help the earwig.

I went inside, grabbed the smallest saw I could find and carefully opened the hazelnut to free the earwig. It was a very satisfying experience.

What I Learned From My Earwig Adventure

I learned (at least) three lessons by helping the little earwig out of his prison and I’m eager to share them with you. Later in this article I’ll give specific advice on how you can change the world as well.

1. Every life is important

I went vegan in December 2011 and I enjoy my new lifestyle very much. And while I’m already pretty aware of what’s going “wrong” on our planet I still have to get rid of a few preconceptions. I went vegan because I wanted to save life. I save cows, sheep, chickens and other big animals – but what about the small ones? What about animals like earwigs?

Honestly? I didn’t think about them very often. But when I saw the earwig struggling for his life I felt a great responsibility to save this life. It was not my fault that the earwig got stuck in the hazelnut. It was not per se my responsibility but I was glad to MAKE it my responsiblity. I could help, so why should I not help? Because it’s ‘just’ an earwig?

I felt that this life, the earwig’s life, was just as important as each and every other life. My logical conclusion was exactly this: every life is important, even the smallest ones.

2. It’s our duty to save life

Not only had I a strong urge to save this life, no, I also felt that it’s more than just a wish to help. It’s some kind of duty. If you can help, you should help. Live and let live, yes. But it means not only being passive and indifferent. It means a lot more. It means that you actively support life. Just as life actively supports us.

Saving a life is the same as giving life by birth. Whenever we can save a life and thus add a life to the whole we should do it. It’s our duty to do so.

Being the ‘crown of creation’ means a lot of responsibility. We can’t just chicken out of it.

I saw the earwig struggling and I grabbed a saw and I opened the hazelnut and I saved a life. It might sound funny or even stupid but I felt very happy at that moment. I had a feeling that I was doing something right.

(PS: The other people that were gathered in the garden shaked their heads in disbelief. I think they considered my act to be ridiculous. It’s just an earwig, isn’t it?)

3. Our duty should become passion

‘Save one life and you’ll save the world.’ (Talmud)

This should not only be a rather rigid maxim, it should become our song of gladness.

Nobody really likes duties. We’re passionate creatures, even hedonistic. We don’t want to ‘have to’, we want to ‘want to’. But it’s our own responsibility to turn duty into passion.

I did so when I saved the earwig’s life. It felt great. It made me feel alive as well. It was mind-transforming.

I learned that our duty to save a life is no good when we think of it as a duty. Our world doesn’t become a better place if we force ourselves to save lives. (You can see the outcome of ‘forced support’ when you turn on your tv and watch the misery that’s broadcasted on the news.)

Our world will become a better place when we all decide to be passionate about helping.

What You Can Learn From This Story

I’ve got two advices for you if you feel like improving your overall life experience by saving the world, little by little:

1. Get involved locally

Look around carefully and you’ll see hundreds and thousands of people, animals or plants that could need your help in order to stay alive and healthy.

Saving the world is not only about donating money to poor countries abroad, it’s more about being passionate about life itself.

Instead of flipping coins into rugged hats of beggars you could invite them to drink a coffee with you. I’ve done this a few times and it’s a very heart-warming experience. Giving people hope is so exhilarating!

Instead of saving the wildlife of countries you can’t even name properly you could consider to become a vegetarian or even a vegan. You’ll save a lot more animals if you just stop killing them yourself. And what exactly made you think that pandas, tigers and Galapagos giant turtoises are more important creatures to save then cows, pigs and chickens?

Instead of giving money to rainforest conservation organizations or similar causes you should try to reduce your carbon emission by going by foot more often.

Saving the world is pretty easy. Start today, pick a cause and stick with it for a time. Then move on. Spread the love but begin with causes near you.

2. Support global causes

If you’re already involved in local causes you can make the next step and start saving the rest of the world.

I have had great experiences with Kiva.org where you can help people around the world to start their own little businesses. Kiva is so special because you don’t donate your money to these people, you lend them money which they’ll pay back later.

And when one of those people has paid back his or her loan you can browse Kiva.org and help another person with your loan.

PS: You can join Kiva.org by clicking here. You’ll get your first $25 without putting your own money in your Kiva account if you register through salaazy.com

PPS: Our Kiva team needs your support, join Team Salaazy today. (You’ll still get the $25 if you’re a new member.)

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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We all want to be more effective. Some look for solutions others just dream about it. You seem to belong to the first group and that’s the first step of your transformation into a more effective human being.

You can only become more effective if you choose the right role model, if you choose carefully how you want to be, better yet: who you want to be.

This is not always easy. Choosing the right role model is easy, don’t get me wrong. But sticking with it is not. And it’s certainly not a good idea either.

You’ll learn why and when it’s time to seek another idol to complete your metamorphosis.

But first I’ll explain how to start your transformation.

What Does ‘Being Effective’ Mean?

It’s very likely that you have a completely different idea of what ‘being effective’ means. It’s a personal decision, a matter of favor or even style.

For me being effective means:

• being able to create ‘something’ out of ‘nothing’
• seeking win-win-win situations
• sticking with things that work, quitting the rest

I don’t and I can’t know what it means to you but I know that ‘being effective’ is desirable for you. It’s something you consider to be a better set of abilities than the set of abilities you have right now.

Being effective or better: having an effect on things and people means that you are able to create, alter and destroy reality.

If you’re an effective being you can change the world so that it becomes more like what you want it to be. You make things happen, you find solutions to your problems and you can dismiss unwanted parts of your reality without getting in trouble.

I guess that although I don’t know exactly what you mean by ‘being effective’ or becoming more effective I nailed it, didn’t I?

How To Choose The Right Role Model

This will probably disappoint you: there is no such thing as a perfect role model.

Nobody is perfect. Being perfect means to be done with this world, even literally if you look at the word ‘perfect’ and its etymology.

So, all we can hope for is that we choose at least a ‘good’ role model.

A ‘good’ role model is one that makes it easy for you to adopt. We’ll learn about three common mistakes one can make while working with his or her role model later in this article.

So, where can one find a role model? This is easy since we’ve got marvelous technology at our disposal. We can utilize magazines, newspapers, books, movies, cds, dvds, our tv and of course the internet.

But if you want to become more effective you first have to figure out how exactly you want to be. It’s wise to write down how you want to be after the role model process. By writing it down you can analyze your progress later and adjust the number and kind of your role models.

This sounds all a bit technical, I know. But becoming more effective is not some kind of magic. Everybody can become more effective with this simple method. It sounds technical because it IS technical. It’s a skill, a craft you have to learn in order to utilize it.

So, in order to choose the right role model you have to choose people who are good at what they’re doing. You have to choose people who inspire you.

If you want to be a famous singer you have to choose a famous singer as your role model. If you want to become more successful at work you have to choose a successful co-worker whom you admire for his abilities. If you want to be a better parent you have to look for parents that you ask for advice when you need it. If you want to be beautiful you have to find people who are beautiful.

Et cetera, et cetera.

Finding the right role model is pretty easy. The next part is harder.

How To Become Who You Want To Be

I suppose you get the idea of choosing a role model for your purposes. Now you want to become more effective, finally. How do you do it? This will sound easy, but it isnt: in order to become who you want to be you have to alter your point of view first.

You have to detach yourself from yourself. Well, that sounds weird, doesn’t it? What I mean is this: while you’re making progress you’ll encounter a lot of problems which might make you want to stop the whole thing and return to your ‘normal’ life.

You are who you are and changing this is impossible. Our ego ‘thinks’ we are better off with our ‘old self’ so it’s interfering whenever it can.

Let’s assume that you want to become more effective at your job, thus more successful. In order to do so you have to adopt the skills that your role model utilizes to be successful. This might include working late. But working late is a no-no for you. So, now you’re screwed because instead of encouraging you to keep the pace and overcome your ‘I-don’t-want-to-work-late-issues’ your ego will say something like this: “If THIS is what it takes, I’ll quit.”

Don’t give in though. This is totally normal, you just have to remember how the outcome will feel like. You’ll have to motivate yourself. A lot.

Let’s move on now and at three simple examples.

As you can see human desires are wide-spread. We all want different things. But in order to get what we want we all have to follow the rules. You can become more effective by choosing the right role model.

You have to think of a way to overcome yourself and move on. Do it now.

Four Common Mistakes That You Should Anticipate

I’ve already mentioned that you might stumble upon a few problems during the metamorphosis. That’s quite normal and most issues will vanish on its own. But four of these mistakes can be pretty grave so I’ll explain how you can avoid them or at least deal with them when it’s already ‘too late’.

Mistake #1 – You try to become your role model

You cannot become another human being. At least not physically. If you try to become your role model you are bound to fail. You can only adopt the abilities and the mindset of your role model.

You want to be a famous actor? Fine. You can do it. But you cannot become Christian Bale. He’s already there. You can become somebody who has a similar mindset and similar abilities but you can never be him.

Mistake #2 – You force yourself to become somebody you can’t connect with

Sometimes we dream about an alternate version of our lives and forget about the big picture. Let’s say you picked an actor as your role model and you find out that he’s been doing pornographic movies in his early years. You do not have to copy this if you don’t like it. It’s about the abilities and the mindset of your role model, it’s not really about their specific (and personal) actions.

Mistake #3 – You adopt a ‘bad lifesyle’

In the beginning of this article I told you about a ‘good’ role model and now I’m talking about a ‘bad’ lifestyle – whether you perceive something as good or bad is your business and your business alone.

But when you begin to feel bad during your metamorphosis it’s very likely that you’ve lost your track. It’s important to get back on track otherwise the whole process would be pointless.

Just because your role model smokes 20 cigarettes per day that does not mean that you have to adopt this behavior as well. The secret to a clean metamorphosis is that you make conscious decisions about what you want to adopt from your role model and what not.

Smoking is not healthy and if you want to stay healthy but also want to be successful as an actor you can just ignore the role model’s frailties. Pick what will make you happy. Ignore the rest.

Mistake #4 – You give up too early

This whole process can take weeks, months, even years so you should brace yourself for this adventure. Don’t give up just because you don’t get quick results. You want permanent results, don’t you? You want to be and STAY successful, you want to be and STAY beautiful, you want to be and STAY healthy.

Don’t get blinded by temporay results. Look at your notes from the beginning. What exactly was your goal? Adjust your plan if needed.

Good luck and have fun.

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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1. 10 Basic Habits Of Highly Effective People

Oops, I farted!

I’m pretty sure you did as well today. Doing it while under the comforting shroud of privacy is of course no big deal, but doing it while talking to your superior, your date-in-spe or a stranger asking for the way is indeed a big deal!

It’s about feeling awkward, being aware of the fact that you don’t belong here, knowing that you’ll probably be ashamed for what happened for the rest of your entire life.

Awkwardness seems to be one of society’s biggest problems today. Being awkward is a no-no, a taboo and sometimes it feels like it is a felony.

Let me show you how to not be awkward. Just read my little wacko’s guide to social acceptance below.

Brief Anecdote Of My Metamorphosis

You will want to skip this if you need advice very urgently.

I’ve not always been an extrovert. I felt awkward most of my teen years and also most of my adult life. I tried to avoid people because I didn’t want to fail. It was nothing specific, it was about me as a human being that is full of failure, human being that cannot – ever – succeed.

After breaking up with my first girlfriend (I’m still puzzled how I managed to get involved in a relationship in the first place!) I suddenly knew that my awkward years were over. How did I know that? That’s easy. All the pain I had to endure while being rejected by society was absolutely ridiculous compared to the horror I experienced while being in said relationship.

It had transformed me into a stronger being, a human being that had the wish to thrive, a human being that wanted to succeed.

And now I’m helping others conquering their awkwardness.

The Guide To Social Acceptance

In order to overcome awkwardness you have to go through three (simple) steps. You have to build your self-esteem, then stop giving a sh*t and finally connect truthfully with other people you like.

Let’s get started right away, okay?

Build your self-esteem

If you fear other people judging you it has probably to do with your low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel like I did when I was younger: unworthy, boring, ugly, stupid, etc.

Well, it’s only logical that nobody is going to look up to you if you think you don’t deserve it. Building your self-esteem is key in the process of overcoming awkwardness. Awkwardness itself is not a disease or a disorder, it’s one of many symptoms of feeling or being rejected.

So, how can you build your self-esteem? That’s pretty simple. You can boost your self-esteem by doing something you enjoy. (You’ll become good at it soon and that’s what makes you feel great.)

And if you can’t think of something you enjoy it’s now time to find something. The universe is pretty huge and even our little planet Earth is big enough for all of us.

What could be something you like? Is it playing chess, running (I love running!), drawing, writing, working in the garden, volunteering, kissing, scrapbooking, blogging? Don’t be shy. Try something. If it’s for you just stick with it. If it’s not for you pick another activity.

The reason why you need to do something you like is that we have too much free time today. And when our brain is not working to capacity it’s making up stupid stories about you acting weird, about you being awkward. That’s pretty normal and that’s one of many reasons why people who participate in many activities they like are more successful than people who sit behind their desks all day and worry!

So, let’s assume you like running (it’s easier for me to explain if I pick one of my favorite activities).

You start running and you enjoy it. A lot. What happens next? You’ll feel good about yourself, you’ll realize how fast you make progress and how wonderful it is to make your heart beat faster and faster. You’ll feel alive. And – over time – you’ll become really good at running, you’ll probably participate in races. Perhaps you’ll even win one of those races.

Being active (and being more active than others) makes you feel great. You ARE worthy, you ARE interesting, you ARE beautiful, you ARE intelligent. And when your self-esteem goes through the roof you’ll probably not even need the second part of this tutorial about how to not be awkward.

Learn to not give a sh*t

Most people who feel awkward on a regular basis worry about the future in some way. But it’s totally absurd to worry about something you can’t control.

In order to not be awkward you have to overcome your fear of the future. When you’ve finally reached that point where you have both healthy self-esteem and the willpower to fight awkwardness you’ll learn to not give a sh*t.

This is a rather easy lesson and if you read my article (how to stop worrying about the future) carefully you’ll feel much easier about this whole thing.

Follow these three easy steps to learn how to not give a sh*t anymore:

1. Do some research. Find out something awkward about famous people. Seek some of their most private weaknesses. As you can clearly see most of them don’t give a sh*t and most of these famous people are still very famous after doing stupid things, saying stupid things and thinking stupid things. The degree of awkwardness is determined by the degree of greatness.
2. Act weird on purpose. Be awkward. Experiment with all kinds of awkwardness. By doing it on purpose you’ll be able to control awkwardness itself. And when you control it you don’t have to fear it anymore. Start with wearing two different socks tomorrow. Make sure other people notice. When they say something about it, stay cool. You’ve planted this piece of ‘evidence’ of you being awkward. It’s staged awkwardness. You’re still in control.
3. Reevaluate. If people perceive you as awkward how will you respond the next time it happens? Do you really need to worry about people who don’t accept you as you are (flawed like we all are)?

Connect truthfully

To not be awkward also means to not connect with false friends. Awkwardness is not a real condition, no disease or disorder – it’s a symptom.

If you or other people perceive your behavior, your thoughts, your spoken words as awkward this can be the case because you really screwed up – or it can mean that you’re just among the ‘wrong’ people.

Look at your list from above and think about the following question: do you believe that those famous people still dwell on what somebody perceived as awkward years ago? No, of course they don’t. They move on. And it’s easy for them to move on because they’ve found something they love to do (and what they’re good at), they’ve learned how to stop giving a sh*t and – this is very important – they’ve reached out to the ‘right’ people. They connected with people who love what they do, who don’t give a sh*t and who follow their bliss by connecting to other people who are alike!

My advice: connect truthfully, not superficially.

Typical Awkward Situations (And How To Deal With Them)

Over time you’ll develop your own strategies to deal with typical awkward situations but for starters I’ve assembled the best tips right here for you to read!

Dealing with awkwardness in high school / college

High schools and colleges are the melting pots of awkward people from all over the world. But there is a cure to that. Get in touch with people you like and who’re likely to connect with you as well.

Don’t exaggerate your studies, relax every now and then. Keep doing what you love as it’s very important that you maintain a high level of self-esteem.

Bullies and all kinds of mean people in high school and college usually pick on ‘weak’ people. Don’t be weak and still be nice. It’s not that hard. Millions have accomplished that before and you’ll do so as well.

Dealing with awkward moments while dating

Well, dealing with awkwardness on a date is pretty hard, I admit that. But what the heck? If you’re not going to marry your date – why bother thinking about a horrible future? And if you want to marry your date – then you can give a sh*t because being awkward is not a reason to get a divorce.

A date is perfect for you to show off your new skills in communication. Be yourself, be somebody else. It doesn’t matter. You’ll always be yourself. You don’t have to worry about the outcome of a date. And if you do, it’s not worth it.

Dealing with awkwardness while partying / going out

The people who look foolish at parties are mostly drunk idiots who try to disguise their awkwardness (and their fear of people) by binge drinking until they become actually awkward. What irony!

So, stay sober or at least stay in control of yourself and everything’s gonna be alright. With a certain level of self-esteem you just can’t act awkward or be perceived as awkward. That’s a fact and you won’t be able to prove me wrong.

Dealing with awkward moments while communicating

You remember the first sentence in this article? Oops, I farted. Even when you’re talking to your superior when this happens you won’t be able to change the stinking past :-)

You have to deal with it and this is one of the moments in life where you can really grow. You can either be totally embarrassed or you can move on. The latter is what makes you a strong personality, a human being with character, an entity other people seek to look up to.

To regain control over an awkward situation you can easily manipulate the people who heard your little fart: laugh. By laughing in this very special situation you’ll show these people that you’re okay with it and that you won’t feel bad when they laugh as well.

We all know that farts smell bad, that’s not a big deal. Somehow society decided that it’s a ‘bad thing to do’ so we act all weird when it happens in public. But laughing at yourself is definitely the right method to overcome the awkwardness and finally move on.

Of course this technique works for any other awkward situation at the office or when communicating (close range or over the internet).

Dealing with awkwardness in public

We all trip sometimes. We walk through the streets peacefully, everybody is minding his own business and suddenly we stumble upon something. We hobble on and miraculously everybody has watched and is now staring at us. How can that be, we ask ourselves, that you look just in the wrong moment?

Well, dealing with awkwardness in public is pretty easy. You may rest assured that nobody cares about you tripping over something. We all do. It’s not a big deal. It’s about what you do after tripping over something. Do you blush? Do you swear? Do you look around, scared? That’s what people are looking for in such a moment. And the bullies (the weakest of all people watching you) will ultimately pick on you when you give yourself away as somebody who hasn’t learned to deal with awkwardness.

Steal their thunder. How? Be creative. Being creative is the best, no, the only option when you’re facing awkwardness. And I believe you’ve got all you need to know now to not be awkward anymore.

Image (C) by Denise Busch (http://www.budeni.com)

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