Sally Huss - Addicted to Happiness!

Want Recession-Proof Happiness? By Sally Huss

2009-10-23T12:04:16-07:00

As our world changes around us, I have been observing how people handle these changes. There is panic in some, general fear in others. But, overall, there seems to be a sadness in those who have known better times, and that’s most of us. Young people are less affected by these circumstances or simply more protected from them, except for those who are job hunting.

Being a problem-solver at heart, I took on the task of figuring out how people could be happy and remain happy in unhappy times. It is my belief that people live better, perform better, and create their futures better when they are happy. So, it seemed a worthy endeavor. Here is what I came up with.

I have found in the various teaching that I have done, whether it’s tennis, art or life, in order to improve, a person must first find a level of harmony that he or she can comfortably function within before that person can improve. This is true whether it’s learning a forehand, painting a portrait or finding a true love. Harmony must be found. This is what we are seeing now with the tremendous down-sizing with families in their living conditions and businesses with their operations. People are seeking that level at which they comfortably function.

The same thing is true with individuals in regard to happiness – the need is to find first a place of harmony. That place, that harmony, is within every person and it is essential that it be found and latched onto. From there happiness can grow. The mind may whirl around trying to find answers to all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but it cannot lead to a sense of calm. Only the heart holds harmony. To dwell in the heart for a short time each day sets things right and reminds one of what is important. The breathing in of this harmony is more than a breath of fresh air. It is a return to one’s essence.

I like the word “essence.” It contains all the references to spiritual matters that we can think of, but it is more tangible. As I take a few moments to rest in the heart each day I think of “essence” in this way:

I am rich because my essence is abundance.

I am happy because my essence is joy.

I am strong because my essence is power.

I am smart because my essence is infinite intelligence.

I am kind because my essence is love.

I am good because my essence is God.

As I lay near death, long ago, I asked for life with all my heart. My prayer was answered. How we consider the gift of life that we have been given determines much. We mustn’t take life for granted. It is everything. Never let a little thing like a recession disturb you or upset your sense of harmony and therefore your state of happiness.

Please, as we go through this “recession” together, be bright, be happy and keep going. Don’t wait for it to be over to be happy. Be happy and its effects on you will be nullified. And, you too will be able to uplift others by your mere presence. It is the most we can do at this time and it is the most needed.

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

I would like to add you to my friends’ list. Please make a comment if you like. I am trying to connect with as many like-minded people as possible. (To view my gallery of original art and peek at my extensive line of bright and happy products, including THE HAPPY BOOK, bibs, nursery wall décor, totes and purses, and gifts with thoughtful thoughts, go to: www.sallyhuss.com.)

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

Want More Friends? by Sally Huss

2009-09-12T13:58:11-07:00

For every friend added to one's heart, more room is made for others.

In these particularly challenging times, friends come in handy more than ever. We need them. We want them. We can hardly do without them, and they need us. The more the merrier.

Working in a store daily, I have the opportunity to make and create new friends all the time. But this is a unique situation. Not everyone has access to fresh faces. They see the same faces daily -- a few co-workers and a few family members. But whether you see new faces or familiar faces, they are faces of friends, or at least potential friends. Everyone fits that bill.

The importance of expanding one's circle of friends cannot be overlooked. Personal connections, no matter how remote, are the way of the future. The computer cannot help if your car breaks down and you need a lift. When you need a haircut, it is useful to have a friend who is handy with a pair of scissors. A little graphic design help is real help if you are not Photoshop savvy. The list goes on. There is no amount of help by you or for you that cannot help. And, that, it seems to me, is what we're here to do.

It's fun to help -- move a friend, introduce a friend who needs a sweetheart, give some of your stuff away, help clean a rug or put up a screen door. We're turning into a sharing caring society. With less funds to buy everything we need or want, friends can be the best assets we have.

In truth, friends are our life-lines. They sustain us when things get rough. They encourage us. They share their insights, experiences and wisdom. They sit us down and talk to us. They listen.

As loved ones move in and out of our lives, friends remain present. They are our true loved ones, because there are no strings attached to their loyalty. These loved ones can be family members or not, but they are worth every effort to keep

them close.

Our life-lines are our love-lines, our friend-lines. Cultivate many. Share them with others. Develop your friendliness skills. It's so easy -- be a friend first. You never know who might need you.

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

I would like to add you to my friends’ list. Please make a comment if you like. I am trying to connect with as many like-minded people as possible.

(To view my gallery of original art and peek at my extensive line of bright and happy products, including THE HAPPY BOOK, bibs, nursery wall décor, totes and purses, and gifts with thoughtful thoughts, go to: www.sallyhuss.com.)

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

WANT CARY GRANT’S SECRET TO ROMANCE? by Sally Huss

2009-08-25T11:50:10-07:00

"Live in love and life will take care of itself."

Cary Grant, one of Hollywood's all-time most popular and romantic leading men, had a secret. It is a secret that we could all benefit from, especially our present Hollywoodstars, as well as the men in our own lives.

The name Cary Grant, then and today, is synonymous with elegance, charm, good looks, desirability, grace, style, and, of course, romance. There was nothing about Cary that didn't ooze with perfection - his movements, his speech, his gestures. He was subtle and delicious whether he was carrying a gun or a beautiful damsel. His leading ladies may have brought out the best in him, but more likely, it was he that brought out the best in them. There was Grace Kelly, Deborah Kerr, Ingrid Bergman, Katharine Hepburn, Eva Marie Saint, Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobridgida, Leslie Caron, Mae West, and many more.

These were the stars of the 40's and 50's, but Cary's romantic aura is timeless. As is his secret.

I grew up in those times and as all young girls do, I fell in love with movie heart throbs of which Cary Grant was the ultimate. Then one day while watching the film, NORTH BY NORTHWEST, an Alfred Hitchcock thriller starring Cary, I found myself in the arms of this great lover. Actually, I was in his hands. As I watched the movie, during a scene in which Cary jumped into a taxi and held up a newspaper, I found that my picture was on the back of the newspaper! I was beside myself. Cary Grant and me!

How it came about is that I was playing tennis in a big championship held in South Orange, New Jersey and had been playing against Althea Gibson in the finals. The picture in the paper was from that match.

My film debut lasted about a half a second, but Cary's secret is without time limits. Through the years I have had a special affinity for Cary, no doubt due my being one of his co-stars. I have read articles about him and seen interviews with him on television. In this mass of information his secret is revealed.

It seems that Cary, originally named Archibald Leach, was born into a rather low-class, cockney family in England. He was born on the wrong side of the tracks with the wrong accent. But as he developed his skills at entertaining, he also developed his skills at manifesting.

Now here it is: his great secret! When asked how he became the dashingly debonair Cary Grant, starting as he had from such lowly circumstances. He answered, "I pretended to be what I wanted to be, until I became it!" What a man!

"I pretended...," he said. As most of us know by now, our loyal and efficient subconscious cannot discern the real from the imagined and it obediently fulfills our imaginings. It is very effective as Cary proved. He became the most elegantly romantic man in history with his self-created man-of-the-world persona. An interviewer once announced to him, "Everybody would like to be Cary Grant." He is said to have replied, "So would I!"

Now we can take this secret of his a step further into our own lives and apply the Cary Grant phenomenon to love. One of the greatest secrets to falling in love is being in love. Not just being in love after you fall in love, but being in love first. And, if you don't know how to do this, think of Cary and pretend. You can't imagine what wonderful happenings will happen to your love life when you put yourself in the atmosphere of love.

Good luck! And, do not try to follow my film career as I retired shortly after my film with Cary. No Academy Award for me.

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

I would like to add you to my friends’ list. Please make a comment if you like. I am trying to connect with as many like-minded people as possible.

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

How to Get Your Man (or Woman) by Sally Huss

2009-07-22T12:38:03-07:00

"If you wish to have a love in your life, because you wish you will. And because you know this is true, smile until you do."

(Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!” I offer it here to brighten your day. Please share it with your friends.)

There are too many people out there without a close friend or a loved one in their life. Yet as life on the outside gets tougher, colder and more demanding, the needs of the heart become even greater.

We all need warmth and we need to share our warmth. The sun in the sky warms us on the outside, of course, but it is the sun on the inside that really warms us. It is the sun in our own hearts that likes to shine, expand and share its contents. It also likes to receive the same. Why not? That's the way we are constructed. A heart is not meant to languish. It needs to be used and exercised. Love is the answer.

Why are there so many people without love in their lives? Too busy? No! Too disconnected? No! Too discouraged? No! Too unworthy? Not really! Too afraid of rejection or being hurt? Not buying it! It is forgetfulness!! They've just forgotten how to use the heart. Again, love is the answer.

Love first and all good things will come to you, including that special person to be in love with. That's the thing: be in love right here, right now.

What about love? Love is that effervescent feeling that wafts from the heart, leaving you on top of the world and better for it. The beauty of the heart is that it is so close. Open its door and let the contents spill out. Practice on small things like a flower, a peach, a dog, then move to grander targets like a walk on the beach, a starry sky, or a heavenly concert. Beyond this, that love can grow to all sorts of things and all sorts of people, until the whole day is filled with love.

Not only is the heart close, but it is in the center of a person, more precisely, is the center of a person. So, as a person loves, he or she benefits by its emanations first and foremost. Those vibrations go through the loving person on the way to something or someone outside. That's how to be in love. Create your own ocean of this good stuff. Let it fill every nook and cranny of yourself and then spill out to all that is around you. At that point your special person, who is meant just for you, can't help but show up. He or she will be caught up in the stream and whirled into sight.

So there, go ahead, be in love now, and then you'll be ready to truly be in love with. Because you know this is true, smile until you do!

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

To view my gallery of original art and peek at my extensive lines of bright and happy products, including THE HAPPY BOOK, bibs, nursery wall décor, totes and purses, and gifts with thoughtful thoughts, go to: www.sallyhuss.com.)

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss

The Muffin Diet by Sally Huss

2009-07-09T12:48:39-07:00

"Dogs have their place in a home, usually at the head of the family."

(Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!.”

Who doesn't like muffins? Blueberry muffins, raspberry muffins, pumpkin muffins, carrot muffins, apple cinnamon, oat bran, muffins with cherries on top, muffins with nuts, even muffins with chocolate chips!

So when my friend Brenda called to tell me about her new muffin diet, my ears perked up. It was not that I needed to lose weight, but I'm always collecting information for friends who may need a new way to attack the bulge.

Brenda explained it like this: It seems that a month previously when she had come to visit me in La Jolla from the desert, she had brought with her a small Springer spaniel, a rescue dog. Brenda is always rescuing dogs. In fact her home is filled with little, lost Chihuahuas. But on this day she had left the little ones home and brought the spaniel. He was new to the group and she was not sure how he would get along with the others while she was away.

When she arrived I got my first peek at this little black and white fellow with big, loopy eyes. I could see that he was filled with an intense desire to be loved and at the same time to love, with a little mischief mixed in. He was adorable.

Now on this particular day I was giving a tennis lesson to a young woman whom I knew was looking for a little dog for her daughter. I put the three of them together -- mother, daughter and spaniel. Brenda thought it was a good fit. It was the daughter's ninth birthday and to have a fully-trained dog as a birthday present seemed like a gift from heaven.

So the dog went home with mother and child, and Brenda and I went for a walk on the beach. Then ensued hourly phone calls from the mother about the misbehavior of the small fellow. He barked when he saw another dog. He pulled on his leash. The daughter became terrified of him and the mother felt house-bound and imprisoned. So, Brenda took the little guy back to her home, hoping to find a more patient family to adopt him.

This is where the diet comes in. During the next few weeks while Brenda searched for a new home for the spaniel, whom she called "Muffin", she kept him happy by going on walks. "The amazing thing," she said, "is that I'm losing weight. Not only weight, but inches." Brenda has an hour-glass figure, but one that can spread wide and far if not kept in check. She continued to explain that the Chihuahuas had never given her much of a workout. They just dallied along, but Muffin liked to power walk and even run. Brenda was getting in shape with the help of Muffin and there was a good chance she wasn't going to give him up.

That's when she realized what a great weight loss plan she had created. "Yep," she said, "just go to the pound, get yourself a ragamuffin and you're on your way." That's how it came to be and that's all there is to it -- The Muffin Diet!

Smiles, Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss

HOORAY FOR REAL FATHERS! by Sally Huss

2009-06-17T11:49:57-07:00

"Your potential for greatness is greater than you think."

The day of the father is soon approaching. It is a day we honor the father or fathers in our lives. But what are fathers? To be a biological father is easy, but to be a real father is not. One takes a moment to create, the other takes a lifetime.

A real father represents the best in all of us – strong, reliable, trustworthy, supportive, disciplined, loving, and selfless.

Within every man is the capacity to be a great father. A man may shine as a great husband, but his true greatness is revealed when he becomes a father. Selflessness knows no bounds when it comes to real fatherhood.

The men in my life have all been great fathers. My own father was strong, reliable, stable, and supportive beyond anyone’s definition. He spent endless hours on a tennis court hitting balls to me so that I could learn a game that has been part of my life for 60 years. He spent energy and money driving me hundreds of miles for tennis lessons and to tennis tournaments throughout my young years. And he took the time to celebrate my victories. Then he wisely counseled me when it was time to put games away and focus on a career off of a tennis court. He was a wonderful father. I always felt supported.

My brother was also a great father. He was equally supportive of his kids as his father was to him. Morally and financially he was there for them; then boosted them out of the nest at just the right time. All fly successively on their own now.

My husband, through the example of his father, has been a wonderful father to his sons, four in all. The youngest of these, our son, has reaped the benefits of his having raised three boys previously. On this son, even more love was heaped and added to the supportive qualities he demonstrated. Now this son flies on his own, but keeps an eye on his aging father.

We know ours son will be a wonderful father as well. He is getting good practice caring for his two dogs.

Fathers – we love ‘em and can’t do without them. They have everything we need to lean on, but help us stand on our own.

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

I would like to add you to my friends’ list. Please make a comment if you like. I am trying to connect with as many like-minded people as possible.

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

Website: http://www.sallyhuss.com/

If You Think You Know What Love is, Think Again! by Sally Huss

2009-06-11T11:47:39-07:00

"To expand the heart in any direction is a good thing."

(Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!.”

Love and the heart are some of my favorite subjects. I love to see love expressed at any opportunity and by anyone who happens to be expressing it. I think we all are richer by the love that is released into the world by each and every one of us.

Love is on my mind lately, as well as in my heart, because of a project I have been working on for sometime. It involves putting people together, helping people find someone to like or love. In doing so, various people wander into my gallery and chat about their lives and in many cases the love that is missing in their lives. These are wonderful people who just might be out of the loop of people and the opportunity of finding a partner. It might be after a previous partner has moved on in some way. I try to cheer them up and inspire them to keep a look out, for surely there is someone who equals their desire for a friend or mate.

That's just one kind of love -- people to people. And then yesterday Mia wandered in. Mia is a golden doodle of such genuine sweetness no one could miss it. She is calm and patient and she instinctively knows who loves her. I love her. She comes right over to me and leans up against my leg, in a manner that is never aggressive or demanding, waiting for me to rub her neck and tell how wonderful she is. And I do because she is. Her owner, Cathy, has taken Mia to be trained for hospital work. She will be such a help to those who are shut-in and have little opportunity to give and receive love.

Then today a friend sent me an e-mail about an extraordinary Washington state man named Jeff who, through his love and efforts, salvaged an injured baby eagle 10 years ago. He called her Freedom and spent weeks hand-feeding her and nursing this little bird back to life. Because of her injuries he knew she could never fly, so he glove trained her and took her to do educational programs at schools.

Then Jeff was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma and under went 8 rounds of chemo. During that time he took Freedom out for walks. She also showed up in his dreams, seeming to help him fight the cancer. On the day he was given a clean bill of health he took Freedom out for another walk. She somehow knew of his triumph. He said she looked at him and wrapped both her wings around him to where he could feel her wings on his back. Then she touched his nose with her beak and stared into his eyes. That was a magic moment for him.

There were many other extraordinary healings involving this bird. It all came from the love this man had for this bird and this bird's tremendous appreciation in return. It is a story that one might not believe, but I saw the picture that proved it -- Jeff with his Freedom snuggled up against his chest.

Love in any form is love. The more the better for the heart and everyone.

Smiles, Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss

THE PERFECT DIET FOR OPRAH AND YOU by Sally Huss

2009-06-04T11:42:04-07:00

Oprah is a grand person, a big person in many ways. Her generosity is enormous. She has taught us. She has shared her experiences, tragic and jubilant. She has her feet on the ground and her head in the clouds where she gathers new ideas to bring to us all. We can thank her for expanding our knowledge and consciousness in matters of the spirit. We can thank her for shedding light on the importance of educating ourselves through reading. We can thank her for bringing family and personal issues that affect many of us to the forefront. That’s her specialty – shedding light.

We can also thank her for trying to find solutions that many people seek in their battles with the bulge through her own struggles to win that war. But in this effort of hers, I feel, she misses the point.

Our society goes around and around in circles trying to come up with the perfect model of thinness or fatness. We want our celebrities to be thin, thin, thin, but then attack them for being too thin. Our super market racks are filled with articles on how to reach this elusive state.

We want our schools and social organizations to be tolerant of fat kids and adults. All sorts of reasons are given to expand our acceptance of those of us who are not perfectly proportioned, even that “fat is beautiful.”

By statistics, yes, our society has gotten fatter – carbohydrates are in, nutrition is out and the results leave people battling the bulge with no real weapons.

But Oprah, who is now making one more big push to unload her extra pounds, needs a new tact. With all her marathon running, exercising, skimpy calorie food plans she misses the real point and the simplicity of a method to solve all this. I will describe here the perfect diet for Oprah and perhaps, you.

To begin with, if you are Oprah or someone like Oprah you need to get a few things straight – mostly what you are.

If we were blind or shut our eyes and turned Oprah on the TV, Oprah would be the same today as she was five years ago or even fifteen years ago. She would be the gracious hostess, speaking with real people, telling real stories and trying to solve everyday problems. Oprah would do her thing by bringing experts in to talk about these issues and help folks find solutions.

So Oprah is steady. Her intent is always good and her means to do good is enormous. But if we open our eyes over these many years we would see that her form has changed and changed dramatically. Sometimes her form has been toned, sleek and svelte, sometimes bubbling over with extra pounds.

Again, if we shut our eyes she would be the same from when she began her program to today, except perhaps wiser.

What’s the difference? What matters here?

Oprah, the true Oprah, has no form. Her spirit is grand whether we see her or not. But Oprah like all people is housed in a body to make her mobile on this earth. And her body with all its feelings and needs has the consciousness of a dog. It is like an automobile, but a live one. Again, its consciousness is of a four-legged best friend. And if you have a dog you would want to treat your dog and feed your dog the best you could. You wouldn’t over feed it or under feed it. You would give it what is good for it and not necessarily things it would like, which it might eat all day long if left to its own devices.

On top of that, you would make sure your dog got out for some exercise every day. Because you are giving your dog exactly what it needs and no more, your dog would remain in fine shape.

Now if Oprah looks in the mirror and sees what she sees and identifies with it, she’s in trouble. Because one day that image might be bigger than the day before or less beautiful than the day before, and she might become discouraged, saddened or depressed. That takes her emotions on a downward turn, as could anything in her life. Once that happens, many people, which might include Oprah, may begin feeding their dog to try to make it feel better.

This is silly, of course due to the fact that emotions, from joy to depression, belong to another body that Oprah has, as do all of us, the emotional body. The interesting thing is that the emotional body has nothing to do with the sensations of the physical body. We just think they do. Things like good tasting sensations are not connected to the emotional feelings unless we connect them.

All this is to say, when one’s physical body, that dog-like body, is out of shape, ill proportioned, etc., we must not react as many people do by trying to reach good feelings through pleasant sensations, i.e. food.

A person must take control of the leash and tell the dog how wonderful it is and that it will only get good and useful things to eat in the future, not too much and not too little.

Once Oprah understands this, and I’m sure she will, the next thing she must realize is what she is, since she is not this dog-body.

She is divine and nothing but divine. She is love and goodness in one package. From her head to her toes, that’s what she is, as is everyone else. But many don’t know it, or believe it. If they did, they might act differently.

But let’s assume that Oprah, like you, know this or accept this as fact. Then it becomes very easy to do the right thing. You do this by simply saying to yourself or to the Higher Power that you acknowledge in your life, that you will to do good. Decisions are then easy to make. There is no hesitation, no hemming or hawing about whether to do this or that, eat this or that. You have willed to do GOOD! Do it. Feed your dog what is good for him or her.

The other thing Oprah may need to know and you too is that we walk around in the past. What we see with our eyes are the results of choices we’ve made in the past. For instance, if you consume a quart of ice cream or a pound of chocolate cake, you won’t look any bigger right then, but a day or two later the scales will reveal your indiscretions.

So it is important to avoid reacting to past bad choices with another. Again, this is mixing up feelings with sensations, feeling badly about the way your body looks and then trying to lift your spirits with a sweet sensation like chocolate.

Do what is good!

Now back to the physical body and the dog you must use here on earth. It is a miraculous being made up of a zillion little beings, cells, all working together for good. Life always works for good. The life in every cell works in that direction. Just cut a finger and see how quickly the cells go to work to mend the cut, seal the opening and fix the injury. Then too see how diligently the stomach works to break down food that has been swallowed in haste, without being masticated properly.

This body has systems that should leave us in awe. It has nourishing systems and waste disposal systems and energy conversion systems. It has all this for the whole of its being as well as for each cell individually. And it functions harmoniously in all its efforts.

Do the right thing!

Now what to feed this wonderful being? Oprah, like many of us, has tried an infinite number of diet formulas. But I’m sure deep within herself she knows exactly what foods her body runs on best.

Food is energy for the physical body, but it can be nourishment for the emotional body too. When you use your intelligence to recognize what food is made of, where it comes from, how much sunlight is stored in it and that the whole universe, in a way, participated in bringing it to you, a sense of gratitude is added to a meal. By thoroughly chewing food, the energies within it are released. The love that the sun, earth, water and air have put into it becomes available.

We can appreciate the colors, shapes and variety of our foods. We can appreciate the textures and flavors. All enrich our experience while we do what needs to be done, feed our dog.

There are sweet foods for stimulation, like apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, grapefruit, strawberries, blue berries, raspberries, and all the melons. Then there are the green foods for cleansing, like beans, zucchini, chards and spinach, broccoli and asparagus, artichokes, lettuces and cauliflower. The variety in the grain family never ends, nor does the list of cheeses and dairy products. Beyond that, there are fish, foul and meats. Each food carries with it specific nutrients needed for perfect health, including a shiny coat. Let not the tongue be the master of what is good for your body. Do what is healthy.

Back again to Oprah on TV, with our eyes open or shut, she is marvelous and a gift to us all. May she remember that her voice is needed and that the instrument of her voice is her body, and that her body is her dog and her dog should be treated well, but not spoiled. And, very simply, she must remember that she does this because she is good.

Then we will see Oprah with her perfect form, as you will see yours when you do the same.

Woof! And Bon Appetite!

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss

Could We Have a Better American Idol? by Sally Huss

2009-05-29T11:22:33-07:00

"A significant other is anyone in your presence."

(Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!.”

As our latest American Idol stood on stage, humbly and graciously accepting his title, he revealed his generation's Achilles Heel. "ME and Adam (the runner-up) decided we would just..." It went something like that. But it's the "ME and anybody" that concerns me. I'm old enough to know and remember that "anyone comes before ME" in a sentence or a thought.

This phenomenon of "ME first" in colloquial speech is everywhere today. I've heard it standing in line at a lunch counter. I've heard it in movies. I've heard it coming out of the mouths of young people who work in my business. And, when I correct them, they don't get it. They don't get the deeper meaning implied, or the civility missing. Then I stopped correcting these people and just listened to this pattern. Even yesterday in my gallery an elementary school teacher was saying, "ME and my daughter came to town to..." Ugh!

Then, as so often happens when one is not expecting it, the answer came. I flipped on the TV while I was having breakfast. Not a usual thing, but an unusual thing happened. There on the screen was a woman, Jean Twenge, explaining this very phenomenon. She was speaking about her new book THE NARCISSISM EPIDEMIC and it was all about "Generation Me." I had not known technically there was such a thing. But, besides being an author, Twenge is a psychology researcher with a Ph.D., a professor and speaker. She had research, statistics, antidotes, and everyday common sense to explain this trend.

Dr. Twenge spoke of how all this self-centeredness got started, the emphasis in our homes and schools on self-esteem with our children, and the lack of allowing our young to understand where they truly stand in the scheme of things, whatever the scheme. By giving everyone a trophy in a competition or not grading in school an unrealistic self-image is created, which is sure to be a set-up for failure in the real world. It is important for us all to know the truth, from small children to adults. If a child does not excel in sports or mental activities, he or she might be good at being a friend. And, if he or she wishes to pursue an area in which he or she is not the best, that person can get better through work.

The other interesting point Jean Twenge made was that there was no evidence to support the previously accepted idea that a high degree of self-esteem or self-importance leads to success in life or even happiness. Better that each person know their true capabilities and their value to the whole of any group. And, as far as happiness goes, her suggestion was to emphasize gratitude. Those who are most grateful around the world seem to be the happiest.

There is so much to this area of study, it is wonderful that it is coming to light. Our desire to have everything and give everything to our children might just have led us to the economic crisis we find ourselves in. Now we are doing without, learning to appreciate and enjoy what we have, not moaning over what we do not have.

By Twenge's estimation, we are just about the most narcissistic society on the planet. I say we need to have a better American Idol, an American Ideal. That would be a society that promotes wholesome values -- truthfulness, goodness, kindness, effort, gratitude, selflessness, etc. Perhaps it could be called "Generation You First."

Smiles, Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss

Who Wants to be in Love? by Sally Huss

2009-05-08T11:25:53-07:00

"Goodness matters, for goodness sake!"

(Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!.”

Everyone wants to be in love!

I live in a little coastal village in California and work in my own gallery/studio on a quiet street, off the beaten path, yet still in the village. Everyday people wander in an out and reveal their lives as they look through the happy things they see. It is amazing to me to observe how many men and women seek love and the benefits they hope it will bring to their lives. It is amazing to me to see how many people are lacking that love in their lives.

When I ask people what they really want in a loved one, some of them can describe the person, some cannot. Some believe their right person exists, some do not. Some are looking to fill a void in their life, some are looking to make an addition.

But, when it comes down to it. everyone wants to be in love. Love seems to be the answer to all kinds of questions, the solution to all kinds of problems. Fine! Fine! But how to get that right person, the one to be in love with, is the secret.

After a bit of study, lots of observation and a good deal of experience it seems to me that a person has to know for sure what they want, rather than who they want. They need to know the qualities they want in another. To me high on that list is goodness. It is a great quality to insist upon in a loved one. I don't know how many people think of this, but it is extremely important. It covers a whole group of things like kindness, truthfulness, politeness, graciousness, unselfishness, generosity, and wholesomeness. To be good is more than following the rules. It is a sincere and essential quality of the heart. It lasts.

Not everyone is in love, as we think of it. That is, in love with another. But it is possible to be in love with the idea of being in love and stay there until that loved one shows up. Surely he or she will.

Smiles,

Sally

“Life is wonderful! Don’t forget it.”

Please make a comment if you like. The more happy people, the better!

Email: sally@sallyhuss.com

c 2008 Sally Huss