She lays her dish towel down to pick up a conversation. “Pronto!” {“I’m ready”} she answers with, instead of “Ciao” {“Hello”}. It’s a customary greeting for Italians.

A reflection of a heart postured in preparation. One daring to trust the person calling has an invitation. That something new is right around the corner. And hey, that’s not always easy to believe. But might we? Just today, might we answer His call by preparing our hearts to say Yes, I’m ready!

Pronto! I’m ready to listen. A stance that dares to meet the Lord’s eye, honest about the past. No qualms quiver in the gut. “Yes,” we truthfully say. “I have dredged through the wreckage, slid through the less-than-lovely.” And once confessed, we’re ready to hear God’s heart of grace and good plans.

Pronto! I’m ready to turn the corner. Leave the lonely streets of unbelief, heartache and shame. Is it too wonderful to believe that a new thing is around the bend? The potential of forgiveness…hope of living shame-free? Not at all. It’s there for us if only we answer His call.

But how?
We allow our heart to be…
refined {by His Word}
defined {by His character}
supined {in front of His throne}

Pronto, I’m ready to begin afresh. And that chance is offered for the taking. Because when the Father called to the Son, He said, “I’m ready. To die for her and her and him and him.” Jesus asks, will we receive His salvation, forgiveness? His forgetfulness of our past deeds? Therein lies our call to answer. Now that we’ve repented. Turned away from the past with faces turned up to hope. Now, now we joyfully start new.  Are you ready?

They climbed in the ring to duke it out until the extrovert in me won, and gave a yes to a party Saturday night. My inner introvert gripped this yes tightly, nervous to only know a handful of guests. Yes, I will move beyond my shyness and comfort. {Though quiet times are justifiable.}

Saturday night I squeezed my yes harder as I ran 30 minutes late, tempted to believe this was my way out. And I lost my way, cruising back-n-forth on back roads, miles and miles off course. Further confirmation I didn’t have to go? It could’ve been, but what would I have gained by spending another night with Mr. Monk and Natalie?

57 lost minutes and 8 pep talks later, I arrived with a rather tattered yes in tow.

{the Amazing Birthday Girl, Melissa Taylor!}

And she… she who I’d never met walked up and poured life into me. She asked me to please keep writing… to write a novel… to create characters who’d speak to her. Because she thought I had a gift to do so. Little did she know these characters, Shepard and Olivia, roam a rough draft already. But haven’t grown over the past months thanks to discouragement and doubt.

Yes, I do feel God has asked me to write a novel. Yes, I do feel He’ll make a way for it to be published. And yes, I have to actually write for this to happen. So thank you Extrovert for pushing me to go to a fabulously fun party. Thank you Julie for breathing a spark back into my novel. And thank You Jesus for coasting down country roads and the roads of life with me, even when I’m lost and running late.

Worth it? I’d give this Yes a 10 out of 10! New life, new laughs, new friends.

What Yes have you said this week?

“Yes,” she breathed faithfully to her countrymen. “I’ll risk it. I’ll say yes.”

Yes to letting go of her fear. Yes to days of preparation.

Her yes sealed the king’s yes. Yes, your people may live.

What might we risk? What yes might we breathe to the King today? These beautiful moments of saying yes surely will weave into new life. We’ll need to refine and polish our hearts, our ways. But a yes on our part will very likely save us.

Have you closed your heart off? Turned your back on another chance to yes? I have too, many times. God took me around the world to awaken my yes…. I hope this post encourages you in our journey of Yes this year.

No, I am too shy to go to that small group I don’t know anyone.
No, that country is so far away, I’ll skip this missions trip.
No, I gained weight since I last saw them. I’ll just skip that reunion.
No, not hanging with them. I’m still single and feel like a loser.
No, my writing is inadequate. I won’t submit to a publisher.

No No No

Tearing the hole wider until isolation and doubt and fear swallowed me whole. Some legitimate concerns hold me back. Others? Nothing but weights anchoring me to a stagnant present and future.

Dismal? Yes. Hence my desire for change. I’m saying no, no more, in order to say Yes.

Yes, Lord, I will take Your hand
Take You at Your Word
Take Your promises

Take a chance on life, love, hope. Because years of saying “no” have led me nowhere.

This is my year of saying Yes. Yes, I am a bit nervous. Yes, I’ll be pushed beyond my boundaries, my fears, my laziness. But I know there are things I want to say yes to in the future that will require me saying yes in the present.

Yes, I will go around the world on missions with you Lord.
Yes, I will publish my book with you Publishing House.
Yes, I will be your wife Mr. Husband-to-be

I’ll be posting once a week of something I said Yes to, that for one reason or another I would have said No to. And by the end of the year, I hope to have a new revelation of the greatness of God and a tale of adventure with the best person I’ve ever said yes to, Jesus.

Will you join me in saying Yes?

True, there have been glints of Mercy hanging around: softer heart, gentler words. But dating? One must tread lightly; such things could lead to a lifetime commitment.

A laugh tries to move past her statement, but it sticks. Though she and I are editing 10′s of 100′s of 1000′s of so many words during our meeting, hers won’t go away. Days after, they trail me and greet me at my front door and bid me good morning.

There’s this list I etched in the early spring of life. Qualities of a dreamed of man-husband. Some sweet, most naive, like flowers that bloom too early, before the frost has been chased away till winter. Give him blue eyes, tall legs, guitar fingers and a fondness for snow, Lord. And a passion for You, a heart for missions, goofy humor, and desire to have a house full of children . And swirl in this and that and the list went off the margins.

Now? In the summer of my time, the list blooms with  just one characteristic sure to weather all seasons: good.

Because surely goodness and mercy walk hand-n-hand. Dream of giving love and money and peace. Care for the least and the more than enough and everyone in between. Ride the wave of justice to set captives free. Walk humbly with God.

Surely, goodness loves Mercy. This Mercy dating me, asking for my hand, my heart, my life.

I can’t help but think: if this is what the Lord requires of a man… must I need more?

Oh sure, my heart still leans toward many of those things on my adolescent list. I’ll gladly lay them down though for that greater characteristic. Then again, many of them are embedded in good. So, I’ll whittle my list down to that one thing: good. Well, perhaps there’s one more quality I’d want a husband to have: a desire for a good wife.

And so, I’m accepting Mercy’s hand as I wait for one good man.

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. ~Micah 6:8

There’s this place of reverence within me. I feel it instinctively, as if born to lean toward it. Toward His ways, His voice. And sometimes I do. Other times I am too full of pride. Too many hurts rattle in my mind. I don’t hear a thing the Lord says. Much like when I tip-toed on pins and needles around our accountants during an annual audit.

His lips moved, but words didn’t compute. I heard every other syllable but didn’t listen. I couldn’t let go of deferred revenues, accruals, and doubts that I’d chopped my work’s finances to bits. He said something worthy of a hearty laugh, but I couldn’t tell you what. I remedied with a polite smile.

But no. He’s trained to catch what’s missing; he’s an accountant after all. The spotlight glared hotly. “You don’t know what I said, do you?”

“Not a clue,” my red hot cheeks tattled on me. I’m such a chump. Graciously he repeated and assured me all was well with the audit. I let go of the spreadsheets and receipts cramming out my thoughts, and listened.

Another inquisitive gentleman seeks to know if I’m listening to Him. Infinitely more vital are His voice and words. They’re the melodies to which life’s dance is set. The kindling that feeds our marrow’s fire. Sweet honey to our soul’s hive.

We miss a beat when we’re not fully engaged listening. Grow cold. Sour.

Jesus was “all ear” to the Father. This is true prayer: being all ear for God. ~Henri Nouwen

Half-listening ears beget half-lived lives. Lives that are meant to shine the light of Christ. And give the same grace we receive from the cross.

If only I had been all ears the dinner I pushed my lima beans aside. I might have served grace. If only I had turned down the voice of pride, and tuned in to the voice of humility.

At times I wonder what damage I might have done. And I pray. Oh so humbly do I pray for the Lord to mend any wounds I caused or any marring of His Name I did.

And I know, there is grace for her, for me, for you. For the taking.

Accepting this lavish grace begins with knowing we need it. Recognizing that spot of pride that deafens us to His voice of humility. Then listening, and responding, to the truth. That when we go low, He lifts us high. And yes, that this wild grace is ours to wash in each and every time we move the lima beans aside.

Have you experienced God’s grace? Please tell us about it. We’ll enter you to receive A Perfect Mess: Why You Don’t Have to Worry About Being Good Enough for God.

Need some answers… Jeremiah 33:3,  Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

Need to know you’re not alone… Psalm 145, The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.

Need an ear to listen… Isaiah 65:24, It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer; And while they are still speaking, I will hear.

Seasons of silence rolled by. My soul, not uplifting or breathing or whispering. Too struggling to utter a hope.

Seasons of cheering galloped past. My heart, glittering and ranging and lilting. Too joyful to swallow silence.

And for every moment in between, I found a prayer was written in the ancient scrolls. For you. For me. Listen, search, find yours. Inhale its truths, exhale its praise. The same God who ordained these scriptures faithfully, is faithful to answer them still. Yes. Thankful for 2000 year old promises apply even today. See?

Mercy and healing: 2 Kings 20:2-3, Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, “Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.”

Longing for a child: 1 Samuel 1:10-11, In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, “O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

Waiting: Psalm 13, How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

Desperation: All of Psalm 61, Psalm 143

Provision: 1 Chronicles 4:10, Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

2 Samuel 7:28-29, O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign LORD, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever.”

Fearful: 2 Chronicles 14:11, Then Asa called to the LORD his God and said, “LORD, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. O LORD, you are our God; do not let man prevail against you.”

Thanks: Revelation 7:11-12,  All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying: “Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!”

Psalm 7:17: I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.

Forgiveness: Psalm 51, Have mercy on me, O God,  according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

Acts 7:59-60, While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” ⁶⁰ Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Luke 18:13, “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

Glorifying God: Habakkuk 3:1-19, LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known;  in wrath remember mercy.

Jude 1:24-25, To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Daniel 2:20-23 , Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said:  “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you,  you have made known to us the dream of the king.”

Depression & anxiety: Psalm 94:19, Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

For others: Ephesians 3:14-21, For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Numbers 6:24-26: The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Anytime, all the time: Matthew 6:9-13, “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,  your kingdom come, your will be done  on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts,  as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Would you be so generous to leave a different scripture in the comments? To share His grace of rescue, His Word, as a prayer. Many thanks…

The movie Stepmom nudges tears out of the depths of me. Susan Sarandon, the mom, has few precious months to say and do a lifetime with her two children before cancer takes over. Daylight fades too fast over the last days of her life and the final stages of saying goodbye to her kids and her dreams.

Julia Roberts, the stepmom, faces a loss of her own: an independent life. Inheriting two kids who hate her, interrupt her dazzling career and mess up her pristine home robs, her of her dreams.

These two face off as only women can as they merge lives and navigate the ashes of today and tomorrow… and yes, the past, together into a thing of beauty.

Often, I’m one or the other of these women. Worrying the desires of my heart today won’t be satisfied. Fearing I will have to relinquish my dreams of tomorrow. Saddened things of the past didn’t work as I had hoped.

Yet, the truth is, in God’s hands… in His perfect way… in that timing only He fathoms… all that I long and hope and dream of is satisfied. In Him alone. Because He is the past, present, future… and He’s shown Himself oh so faithful for oh so long.

I’d love to encourage you to join me in picking one of the examples of His faithfulness in the P31 devotion, and memorize that scripture. So when we face off with our fears, we can say, “we don’t have to fear, He’s faithful.”

Would love to hear your thoughts. What verse did you pick and why?

A while back I traveled in El Salvador with Compassion International.

Honestly I was hesitant. Going across the world meant going to a place in my heart I feared. A place a dream was buried. A dream I was afraid to re-awaken — should it die again, the grief would be insurmountable. When this dream is surrendered to the Lord, it ruthlessly, tenderly breaks me. In a thousand good ways. But it’s not been surrendered. It’s been locked up and covered with the dust and debris of hurt, mistrust and disappointment.

Disappointment not in the dream. Rather, in the dream Giver. The Giver of all things… life, faith, desire. I know this is Truth. But my reality had shifted to a lie in which the Giver was the Taunter…dangling the proverbial carrot, always in sight; always out of reach.

He’d been trying to talk with me about this misunderstanding for some time. But life is a superb sound barrier. I didn’t want to hear about it, “If this dream isn’t going to come true by yesterday, don’t mention it again.” As the day to leave for El Salvador drew closer, I desperately buried deeper the place my heart dreaded. Disdained. Hated even. I wasn’t fond of who I’d become. It was ugly. Seriously filthy.

The first night in El Salvador we shared how we could pray for one another.

It was then I heard the knock. My bygone dream rapping. “Let me out. Talk about me. Be accountable.” And so I did.

I told of my love for missions, particularly foreign missions. And the grand temptation to turn my heart off…detach…withdraw from loving the one in front of me well. Because I was given that dream when I was a little girl and carefully tended it for two decades. I was convinced it’d been shut down; I’d been deceived.

It’s scary to trust again. To greet the edge of a dark cliff, jumping takes faith. The possibility that maybe {holding breath here} maybe… the dream isn’t really dead, perhaps it’s just on hiatus… hibernating… germinating… cultivating…well, sometimes that feels like too much to bear. Is a twist on the old adage true? “It’s better to have dreamt and lost, than never to have dreamt at all.” I’m beginning to believe so.

Reality and Truth held my hand in El Salvador and gently eased me away from the lies, hurt, mistrust. Being with children who laid their tiny hands on my head in prayer. Radiated joy though they know more pain in their 6 years than I will ever know in 86 years. Proclaimed the goodness of our God with no reserve. These awakened the dream in my heart. And I know, part of its dormancy is my fault. I must take time to nourish it through local missions, writing letters to my CI kids, loving the ones in front of me well.

An open heart gives way to open ears. Honestly, I still catch myself holding my breath. I’m jumping gingerly. But a miracle happened I can’t ignore. A dead dream came back to life; and hope was resurrected. And each day since, the Holy Spirit has gently tapped me on the shoulder and now I’m listening. He reminds me that yes, indeed, He is the Giver of all things. Life, faith, desires. And Truth. For this I am grateful.

~Does this resonate with you too? I’d love to dialogue. What dream do you pray is revived this year?

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~Ezekiel 36