CSB : India's Premier Straight - Friendly Gay Blog

CSB Promotion - KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival 2013

2013-05-22T03:37:00.000+05:30

KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival 2013 Poster

It’s been only 4 years since Sridhar Rangayan, the director of LGBT themed films – ‘The Pink Mirror’ and ‘Yours Emotionally’, has started organizing KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival. But it has already transformed into an important annual event in Mumbai’s cultural calendar. Not just Mumbaikars, the festival receives audience from other cities as well. People like Manas Modi, a Bangalore resident, will be traveling to Mumbai this week to attend the festival. “I will be reaching Mumbai on Friday evening so that I can at least catch the films screened on Saturday and Sunday.”

This sort of euphoria is heartening to see since it signifies the willingness of the people to invest time and effort for LGBT events in India, and also the fact that such events are earning as much visibility and importance as any other mainstream event. Sridhar reveals that a sizable population of straight folks also attend the festival. “Last year, almost 32 percent of the attendees were non-LGBT, comprising of students, film buffs and academicians.“ And there is a valid factor which is making this possible. Sridhar explains, “KASHISH is the first and only LGBT film festival in India to be held in a mainstream theatre and one of the first queer festivals to receive clearance from the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting. This is enabling us to reach out to large number of audience.”

Sridhar Rangayan, Festival Director of KASHISH Film Festival

For this year’s edition, the organizers have received a whooping 300 submissions; out of which, 132 films from 40 countries are selected for screening. They were also pleasantly surprised to see submissions coming from conservative countries such as Iran, Pakistan, Serbia and Israel. Each year KASHISH honours one country to appreciate and acknowledge efforts made by other countries producing qualitative queer cinema. This year, the focus will be on China where LGBT movies from China will be featured in the ‘Country Focus’ package. Sridhar opines, “Mainstream cinema from China has already made its mark, but a small group of filmmakers are making films on queer themes. These films are often made underground and with great ingenuity. Our efforts at KASHISH this year is to showcase these films and the brave filmmakers.”

Movies from China will be featured in the ‘Country Focus’ package

Since its debut in 2010, KASHISH has become one of the biggest LGBT film festivals in India and South Asia, helping people to open their minds by challenging their beliefs and notions. Sridhar Rangayan understands that as each edition comes by, the benchmark for bringing awareness and entertainment keeps getting higher. “KASHISH is no more just a film festival, but an annual cultural experience, and we hope to live up to it!”

KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival is scheduled to be held on May 22-26, 2013 at Cinemax Versova in Andheri West and at Alliance Francaise de Bombay, Theosophy Hall, 40 New Marine Lines - Churchgate from May 23-25, 2013.

For complete schedule of the festival, click here.

To check out the ten not to be missed films of KASHISH 2013, click here.
For information on the films featured in 'Country Focus', click here

For complete list on insightful discussions and conversations apart from the film screenings, click here.

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Homosexuality in 'Bombay Talkies' - 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Backward

2013-05-07T21:28:00.003+05:30

Karan Johar’s segment in ‘Bombay Talkies’ - Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh, seemed to offer promising image overhaul on gays, trying to steer away from the conventional portrayal widely embraced by the storytellers of Bollywood. For once, the gay character is not flamboyant, limp-wristed or feminine. Rather, he is a confident young man, not ashamed of his sexuality. The opening scene shows him barging to the bedroom where his father (who had banished him from the house for being gay) is sleeping and pulling him out of the bed and screaming at him, “Main chhakaa nahi hoon! Main homosexual hoon! Naa chhakka hona galat hai, na homosexual!” (I am not an eunuch! I am a homosexual! Neither it is wrong to be an eunuch, nor to be a homosexual!) And later when he reveals himself to his female colleague that he is gay, she doesn't appear shocked - the reason being, “Gay ho, terrorist nahi.” (You are gay, not a terrorist.) The segment also features a lip-lock between two men, which is considered as a daring and progressive attempt.

A still from Bombay Talkies - Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh

It is for these illustrations the gay community and the Bollywood critics are applauding Karan for sensitively handling the angle of homosexuality. But if you analyze carefully, the story has far-reaching dangerous repercussions because it plays with the idea of trust. When it shows that the gay guy is having no boundaries by hitting on his female colleague’s husband, it sends out the message that one needs to be careful when befriending gays. And sadly, it tries to seed homophobia among the one group whom gay men have always felt comfortable opening up to – the women; it warns them gay men could be potential boyfriend/husband stealers and home-wreckers, so better stay away from them.

A still from Bombay Talkies - Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh

Bollywood has used homosexuality in innumerable ways – to add laughter, to induce shock value, to bring tragedy. But rarely has anyone attempted to empathize with them. What is this need to depend on showcasing us as a group who is defective or deviant in one form or the other? This is a group which is suffering not because they are defective, not because they are unnatural, not because they are abnormal; but only because the society is prejudiced due to the various misconceptions surrounding them - movies being a great vehicle for propagating such delusions.

If a certain religion or community or caste is shown in a bad light in our movies, the respective groups are quick to demand the director to remove the disgracing dialogues or scenes. But in this case, the gay community themselves get divided in their opinions because some just see the “outer picture”; few care to analyze the long-run implications. The movie is a cleverly camouflaged attempt to seed homophobia. When I posted about Dostana years ago on the gross characterization of homosexuality, there were many who tried to make me see why it was the best thing that has happened for Indian gays. Funny, now I see many views on how Karan Johar has redeemed himself, while admitting Dostana indeed had badly depicted gays and how this was a wonderful change from him. Majority of the Bollywood outings, such as this one, brings out the slant that one is not entitled to lead a happy satisfied and committed life if he is gay, unlike how straights receive a happy ending for their love stories.

A still from Bombay Talkies - Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh

One can argue that Bollywood is in an experimental phase where straight relationships are also used for bringing out the various unconventional themes, so why not on homosexuality? Again, one needs to understand we are talking about a minority group who is struggling to find acceptance and at the receiving end of severe homophobia. Even Bollywood played safe while narrating love stories of heroes and heroines, where lip-locks were replaced by birds and flowers. It had invested sufficient period in exploring the plethoric emotions of love before plunging into the more sexually visible forms. We have Mughal-E-Azam, Devdas, Aradhna, Kagaz Ke Phool and so many countless movies immortalizing love, but what do we have for depicting homosexual relations apart from the scenes of sex and lust?

A still from Bombay Talkies - Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh

Karan Johar’s story is two steps forward in terms of how mainstream actors are now daring enough to take up homosexual roles and how censor board didn't feel the need to chop out the gay kiss, but it is a step backward in terms of bringing positive representation for a highly marginalized community.

For the uninitiated: 'Bombay Talkies' is a 2013 Indian anthology film consisting of four short films, directed by Anurag Kashyap, Dibakar Banerjee, Zoya Akhtar and Karan Johar. The film was released on May 3, 2013, coinciding with and celebrating the centenary year of Indian cinema.

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My First March For Equality

2013-04-12T16:29:00.001+05:30

Photography by: Praful Baweja

“I was feeling flustered seeing the large number of gay men and women around me as I realized I belong to the minority here. Then it struck me! This must be what gay people go through each day and it seriously takes strength to face that and carry on. That realization washed away whatever awkwardness I was feeling and gave me the assurance to march for equality.” These are the words of Ankit, 23, one among the many straight folks who participated in this year’s Queer Azaadi Mumbai gay pride march which was held on Feb 2nd.

Photography by: Gaylaxy Magazine

More than 2500 turned up for the pride march which also included considerable percentage of straight people to show their solidarity for their LGBT friends / relatives and to support the cause of equality. Mansi, a straight supporter opined we should celebrate our lives for being born as humans and there should be no divide amongst us. Many such sentiments were shared before the commencement of the procession. There was a mother who came for her gay son, a sister for her lesbian sister, but the most touching one was of the two sisters who were there to show support for their lesbian mother.

Photography by: Gaylaxy Magazine

Queer Azaadi Mumbai (QAM) is an umbrella of 20 key non-governmental LGBT support groups and organizations, institutionalized in 2008 to conduct the annual gay parade in Mumbai asking for equal rights of LGBTIQ (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersexed Queer) individuals. The first QAM parade in 2008 demanded reading down of IPC 377 that criminalized homosexuality and saw a turnout of about 500, a pleasant far cry from 15 during India’s first gay pride march (called the ‘Friendship March’) when held at Kolkata in 1999. However this year’s edition ran into a bit of chaos when the Mumbai traffic police denied permission. But thanks to the persistent efforts of QAM organizers, the police reconsidered their decision and the necessary permissions were in place just 5 days before the designated day. The organizers revealed that a horde of 35 permissions were required to carry on an event of this massive scale.

Photography by: Praful Baweja

Even though India embarked upon a post IPC 377 era with the landmark judgement by Delhi High Court decriminalizing homosexuality in July 2009, LGBT community is still at the receiving end of severe homophobia and is being subjected to various social stigmas. Even when World Health Organization declassified homosexuality as a mental illness in May 1990, many still view gay men and women as a ‘diseased’ lot. Parents look out to ‘cure’ their homosexual sons and daughters so that they can be fit into the customary societal norms of getting them married and bringing forth offsprings. There have been many instances of forced marriages of gay individuals which have ultimately resulted in divorces or even worse, led them to depression and suicides. Many sections of media and mainstream cinema still project homosexuality in bad taste with stereotypes and violate the private lives of an already marginalised community. Gay people are still being bullied and discriminated at educational institutes and work places.

Photography by: Praful Baweja

To highlight these plights, gay parades are now being organized at various cities as well as to force the public to take notice that homosexuality and transsexuality are very much existent in India. Perhaps one of the positive transitions that have come about is that people no longer feel the need to wear masks indicating a stronger self acceptance and confidence of who they are. This was my very first gay parade and even I didn’t feel like hiding my face though there were scores of shutterbugs capturing the colourful visuals of the carnival.

Photography by: Niyas Khader

The procession saw sarcastic, thought provoking and funny banners and slogans. “1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. Homophobia out the door! 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. Don’t assume your child is straight!” - a group of ladies shouted. The dhol nagada gave a spirited and vigorous ambiance of festivity. People danced and shouted slogans while the procession limped forward as curious onlookers watched from the pavements and nearby buildings. I felt a sense of blissfulness for being part of a movement, of a cause that I deeply believe in. Those 65 minutes of walk were in fact life changing moments for me. It was the first time I didn’t care what other people thought about me, I didn’t care if I was seen by a colleague or a friend, I didn’t care if I got clicked by the media. I even posted on my Facebook that I was walking the gay pride march so that my colleagues and friends could see.

Photography by: Niyas Khader

It is one thing to read or watch the pride parades, but it is an altogether different experience when you participate in one.. exhilarating to say the least!

Photography by: Praful Baweja

Thanks Praful Baweja, Niyas Khader and Gaylaxy Magazine for helping me with your photographs.

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CSB Xclusive! Nolan Lewis - Mr. Gay India 2013

2013-03-27T17:42:00.003+05:30

Photography by: Blake Woodhams

Introducing to you all this year’s Mr. Gay India, Nolan Lewis! Nolan would be the third Indian to represent our country at Mr. Gay World (MGW), ever since the pageant took off in 2009. Scheduled to take place from August 1st – August 5th, MGW 2013 will be held at Antwerp, Belgium.

Nolan was born and brought up in Mumbai and has been a model since his college days. However realizing that modelling could not be a stable career option, he was on the search for other avenues that offered a regular income. He says now he is a self-employed man and is loving what he is doing currently. “I’m a tarot card reader and a crystal healer. Occasionally, I also write astrological columns for newspapers.” Even then, he decided to give modelling another go and has now signed a contract with a model agency. He has also done a video shoot for the popular Indian girl band - Viva’s music video, ‘Jahan Ho Pyar Ka Mausam’, along with Zoltan Parag, the first Indian to participate in Mr. Gay World pageant.

For this 28 year old guy, Mr. Gay World was not something that he had planned out. Nolan was in Johannesburg in April last year, completing a photo-shoot for South African documentary photographer, Blake Woodhams. Coincidentally, Johannesburg was hosting Mr. Gay World 2012 that very evening. “We watched the pageant, grabbed a few drinks and made a joke about how we should forward my photographs to MGW for 2013’s registrations.” And then that’s what he did. A few weeks later Nolan received a registration form and a questionnaire in his inbox. “Since India does not have a local sponsor, MGW had their director in the Philippines, Ms. Noemi Alberto, conducted my auditions via Skype. A few video-conferences later, I was chosen as Mr. Gay India 2013 over six other Indian guys.”

The fact that India does not have a MGW representative is proving to be quite a challenge for Nolan to participate in the pageant. “I don’t have anyone sponsoring my airfare or wardrobe. That’s the basic entitlement of any contestant representing a country at an international level.” Nolan is currently on the lookout to find some corporate endorsements and a fashion designer volunteering to showcase his or her work at MGW 2013.

Photography by: Blake Woodhams

Nolan hopes to change this situation for the future MGW Indian contestants. “I will have a chat with MGW about hiring me as the recruiting agent for the next delegate from India, since there’s no one as of now.” So would he be kicking off a Mr. Gay India pageant from next year onwards? “I can only comment about the possibility of a full blown pageant, once I’m back from MGW. But you are going to have someone representing India each year from now for sure!”

All the best Nolan for MGW and also for the initiative that you are planning to bring for the future MGW aspirers!

You can reach Nolan and support him by clicking here.

Photography by: Blake Woodhams

Come to think of it, a Mr. Gay India pageant is not a bad idea after all. India has seen a remarkable progress ever since the Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality in 2009. The post 377 era has afforded a favourable pitch for a host of LGBT entities - from a gay travel boutique, a gay event management firm, a fashion store to a queer book store, an LGBT discount card and an annual international LGBT film festival; India has seen it all! A gay pageant would be a perfect piece for this melange aiding ourselves to be visible more conspicuously.

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CSB Promotion: Queer Ink Offer For CSB Readers!

2013-03-16T15:21:00.002+05:30

Queer Ink (http://queer-ink.com) is an online book store providing access to hundreds of books on gays, lesbians, hijras and transsexuals. Founded by Shobhna Kumar and her partner in 2010, this portal has become the one stop site for anyone seeking LGBTIQ literature.

In an interview for CSB Anniversary magazine, Shobhna had said, “We believe that there are vibrant communities of sexually and gender diverse people who successfully negotiate their lives in the mainstream. These stories need to be told and heard to dispel ignorance and therefore hatred and discrimination.”

Queer Ink has now more than 500 titles in the English and Indian regional languages covering fiction and non-fiction with genres - drama, folklore, historical fiction, humour, mystery, poetry, auto/biographies and collection of short stories, mythology, etc. The E-books section has free downloads of magazines, reports and journals with LGBTI India content. Shobhna reveals that they also receive enquiries for gay erotica. “Yes, we can obtain it for you but we cannot list it on the website because of the IT Act 2000 which restricts online sales of such material.”

CSB readers can now get 40% discount for the purchase of imported books, above spend of Rs.300.

Just the enter the coupon code: CrazySam40 while you are making the purchase.

This offer is valid until March 31, 2013.

Happy shopping and happy reading!!

Model: Julián Escamilla

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5 Years Of Awesomeness!

2012-09-23T02:27:00.003+05:30

Yes, this time the deal is for real. This is not another mock-up CSB cover, but an actual CSB magazine which you can flip through! I have always wanted to try out how CSB would look like in a magazine format. The idea has been haunting me for more than a year, but then time and circumstances didn’t seem to be apt for such an exhaustive project... until now. When I began this endeavour, I knew this would be a time consuming affair, but I didn’t expect it to become this mammothian task. But now I’m glad to see that it is finally done and here it is for your reading pleasure!

As I always say, my blog is my baby and it brings out the best of creativity in me. Over this past five years, with the continued support of thousands of readers and subscribers, CSB has evolved into much more than a mere personal blog. It became the voice of many who wanted to resist the continued stereotyping and misconception regarding gay men. It became a platform where distressed guys reached out to realize that they are not alone and found connect with its articles and readers. It became a destination where straight community could visit and understand what actually goes through someone they know who is gay. It has also become a credible source of unbiased information - I was pleasantly shocked to see Wikipedia articles giving reference to CSB while stating facts of personalities for the reason that they have directly interacted with CSB.

I hope you guys enjoy flipping through and reading this Anniversary special edition of CSB e-magazine, as much as I enjoyed making it. Special thanks to Ronald N Tan for sharing his exquisite works, Shobhna Kumar and Billy Graham for taking time out to interact with me, Danny Rose and Harrish Iyer for penning their encouraging thoughts on CSB. I also wish to express my gratitude to my blog buddies Jits, Derric and Phunk for always considering CSB as an important part in their lives.

And how can I forget CSB readers?!! You are the real reason which pushes me and drives me to express my thoughts, and I really do hope you will continue showering your support. Happy reading, I would love to hear your feedback!! ;-)

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Watch This Epic Gay Marriage Proposal!

2012-07-21T16:10:00.000+05:30

When Danny Rose decided to propose to his boyfriend Aaron to take their relationship to the next level, he wanted the experience to be something that reflected their three years of togetherness. He wrote a song and made a music video with hints of moments that they had shared while seeing each other. Aaron had no clue of what was about to happen when Danny escorted him to their backyard for presenting the proposal video. Needless to say, Aaron was completely shocked. After the video, Danny got down on one knee and asked Aaron to spend his life with him.

The video went viral soon after Danny uploaded it on YouTube. Titled ‘What Are We Waiting For’, this one is a catchy dance-pop track with ‘Glee’-style choreography which will get you hooked and make you watch it in repeat mode. I myself have lost count of how many times I have watched it again and again ever since Danny shared the link with me a few days ago.

Email subscribers will have to visit the blog site to watch the video.

Danny thinks it’s important for people to see the faces of gay marriage. To support the cause of marriage equality, he has put the song up for sale on iTunes and is donating 100 percent of the profits to marriage equality charities.

In an interview with CSB, Danny Rose who is the producer for television shows for ABC Studios, shares his experience on the making of 'What Are We Waiting For', how he met the love of his life, the wedding plans and the much yearning visit to India.

Crazy Sam: How did the idea of this video come about?

Danny Rose: The idea came about last November. I knew I was going to ask him to marry me, but I wanted something that was very "us". Our lives are centered around family, friends, music and comedy. I also always wanted to try and write a song. So I put the two together and gave it a whirl. Jamie Jackson helped me with the music. She is a work colleague and I always thought she was so talented.

CS: How did you meet your boyfriend and how long have you been dating each other?

DR: Aaron and I have known each other for over 4 years but have been together for three. We were introduced through common friends at a bar and neither of us made a move until over a year later. We would see each other out sometimes and eventually became Facebook friends. Then one day we both happened to be traveling to NYC and ended up hanging out together on a non date one night there. Well it evidently was a date and we've been together since.

CS: What was Aaron's reaction when he saw the video?

DR: SHOCKED. He had no idea what was happening. I had the video set up in the backyard on a large screen and a whole sound system. I had about 300 scented candles burning. My goal was to attack all the senses. I made him put on a tuxedo and we had champagne while I escorted him to the backyard. He saw the screen and thought I made a home video slideshow of our life together. Then as the video started, he said, umm thats you! Then he said NO WAY! Did you write this? I can't believe you did this!! Once he grasped what was going on, he wanted to start it over but I said we would just watch it over again. And again. And again. I got down on one knee when it was over, asked him to make the happiest man in the world and spend his life with me.

CS: When is the wedding happening?

DR: We are 3 months away.. October 20th in Los Angeles. It's not exactly legal yet in CA, but it's not stopping us spiritually and culturally.

"Let's head on down the -- WHAT??" - A still from the music video

CS: Heard this video went viral, how did you feel?

DR: I was excited. The feedback was so positive and gay marriage is such a hot button everywhere, I was pleased this video brought joy to so many people both gay and straight. I get the most comments and accolades from moms with kids. I get videos of kids dancing to the song all the time. Makes me very happy.

CS: Any plans to come up with new songs?

DR: I am not in the music business. I work in the television industry. I produce television shows for ABC studios and the last years have been spent on the shows called SCRUBS and COUGAR TOWN. (I am also developing more shows and some of them have big musical elements. So stay tuned on my twitter: @DannyRoseinLA.) But I have been giving thought to doing another song. The process was so much fun and so creative, and the collaboration really was magical. So I am anxious to try another. Even if it's just for me.

CS: I read that there are lot of inside jokes shown in the vid, could you reveal some of them?

DR: Some are not inside jokes; some are lines that are triggers.. "I like the way you look at me" I would always say that to him. The eyes can't lie. I see love in his eyes when he looks at me. That is where I started with the song. One of the jokes was "Let's head on down the --" I didn't say aisle. I said WHAT?? It's so strange growing up gay, and to be honest, never thinking that the words wedding, fiancé, husband, etc etc would ever be part of my life. There are a few more in there too. One Justin Bieber lyric that was popular at a time we started getting serious.

CS: I'm sure there is a history behind your robot moves shown in the vid.

DR: Yes there is a history of breaking out the robot moves that always made us laugh. So I had to put that in the video knowing it would get a big reaction from him.

CS: So have you been to India? Any plans to visit the country?

DR: Neither of us have been to India. It's high on our list! I have always wanted to visit and have heard it's the most gorgeous place. Hopefully in the next few years before we get into the children planning.

And finally here is a photo of the lucky couple, Danny with his soul-mate Aaron. Thanks Danny for sharing!

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Ask Sam: I Need Help

2012-03-18T15:16:00.002+05:30

Dear Sam,

I am 19 years old. I am out to only a few of my friends. You probably get dozens of emails with the same problem everyday. But I would still request you to help me out. I dunno, when I came out to my friends I thought things would get better. But they haven't. I still feel all alone. I want to meet more people like me. I don't want just friends, but a boyfriend :P

But I can't possibly do that until I come out completely, can I?

So I have this weird feeling of being stuck all the time. I have college exams coming up soon. But I can't study. I can't afford to screw up my grades. What will a talentless gay nerd with lousy grades accomplish in life!

So how about you writing an initiation guide for all 19 year olds who are stuck and are all alone?

Please do reply as soon as possible. I really do need to talk to someone. I would love it if I could have a reply as soon as I send it. But that's too much to hope for isn't it?

Yours scared and terrified,
Moviebuff

Dear Moviebuff,

I have been through the same situation as yours, so I can understand what you are going through. We all want to be in love, to be with that special someone. I hope your friends were supportive when you came out to them. But you don't have to be out and open to find your guy. You will still be able to find your guy without letting anyone know. You can find similar-interested guys at gay dating sites or even on Facebook.

But right now, what you must give priority should be your studies. Searching for love is best when you are settled down, financially independent and when you have a nice job. Trust me, I wasted lot of my time during your age looking for love. In the end, I got lesser grades than my classmates and they have gotten through big MNCs and are enjoying big pay cheques. My life got derailed in the meanwhile, tried so hard to make everything ok, but was only partly successful. If I could turn back the time, I would have spent all those times in studying and not for finding a boyfriend.

Love is a gift. You don't necessarily have to search for it. It just happens. The more you try to chase it, the farther it goes. But it doesn't mean you just hope that love would knock at your doorstep without doing anything. You have to keep your options open to meet and socialize with guys. But now is not the right time for all that. Probably you can explore meeting guys after your exams.

Now just think that whatever time you invest in studying, you will be rewarded in terms of grades, and then a job and a boyfriend at a later stage.

All the best!

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CSB Xclusive! Rajeev Govinda Pillai

2011-12-10T17:17:00.006+05:30

When an Indian makes it to walk at the London Tommy Hilfiger ramp, consider that it is no mean feat. But that’s what Kerala-born 29 year old Rajeev Govinda Pillai did. It is no surprise then that he has walked all major Indian fashion weeks including Lakme, Wills, Couture et al.

When I came across Rajeev’s pictures, it immediately clicked that he is a perfect fit for the CSB Xclusive! series. And Rajeev was more than happy to be the next CSB Xclusive! guy. During our interaction, when he revealed that he is now doing movies and two of his films were out this year with two more releases out to be soon, my jaw dropped! Ever since I shifted to Mumbai, I have not been keeping track of Malayalam movies, hence was not aware of the new faces. No wonder he has got an impressive count of fan followers from Kerala.

Before modelling, Rajeev was practicing dentistry at a clinic in Cochin and it was one of his patients who suggested him to pursue modelling. But Rajeev didn’t want to limit himself to Kerala and he decided to leave for Mumbai to try his luck.

He got his initial break from fashion designer, Chaitanya Rao. After that there was no stopping for him. He takes proud to have been part of all the major fashion weeks and I see no reason why he shouldn’t be. The photographs shared by him evidently testify that he has got the right attitude and physique to make it big in the industry.

Unlike other models, Rajeev doesn’t have a personal trainer. Working out was always a part of his life and he keeps himself updated on fashion and grooming by watching fashions shows from the west and reading lifestyle magazines.

Rajeev is passionate about cricket and has played till minor counties in England during his post graduation days. He is now undergoing vigorous practice session for his stint in Celebrity Cricket League (CCL) scheduled to start from January 2012 in Sharjah.

Having left an impressive mark in the modelling world, Rajeev is optimistic about becoming a sought after film star. However, he is also aware of the reality that nothing is permanent in the showbiz field. So when all the glitter settles down, he plans to go back to his dentist clinic which is now run by one of his friends.

Thank you Rajeev for taking time out for CSB and for sharing these amazing photographs. Wishing you many more successful movies and hope you will be the next South Indian actor to make transition to Bollywood.

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Bangalore Gay Pride March Montage By Amar Mitra

2011-12-05T23:20:00.012+05:30

Last week Bangalore celebrated their annual gay pride march and 25 year old Amar Mitra, a freelance cinematographer, was one among the many who turned up to show their support and participate in the walk. But then he ended up doing much more than that; his assemblage of photographs that captured the ebullient spirit of the march is now garnering wide appreciation.

Amar (in the photo), who has a bachelor’s degree in Multimedia with a film production minor, was instantly inspired by the regalia of colours at the parade.

“Being there, I realized everyone had their own unique story. There was so much to say, so much to be heard. I decided to capture the uniqueness of each person, costume, vantage point. I wanted my pictures to feel personal. Set against the pride itself, I wanted to make each fabulous person stand out. And that’s what I tried to do.”

The way each shot brings out exuberance is just amazing!

“I shot on a canon 550D through a 50mm prime and a 55-250 telephoto,” Amar explains. “Mostly telephoto to stay far enough to capture the true essence, but go close and get personal.”

Below is a video-montage from the Bangalore gay pride march - shot, edited, compiled, graded and coloured by Amar.

Email subscribers will have to visit the blog site to watch the video.

Amar is now planning to pursue MS in Digital Cinema or MFA in cinematography. So would he be interested in capturing Mumbai Pride Week scheduled in January?

“Sure! I would love to, if someone wants to sponsor my stay. I have never been to Mumbai, so I should wait and see what happens.”

The photographs and video featured in this post are used with permission from Amar Mitra.

Check out these related posts too!
The Great Indian Mainstreaming Of Homosexuality
Indians Being Homophobic And More
'Yuva' Dares To Break Open The Closet

Ask Sam: Confused About Sexuality

2011-11-20T03:09:00.008+05:30

Image copyrighted by Gay Times | Photographed by Joe Oppedisano

Hey Sam!

I stumbled onto your blog through a link on the Saathi-IIT B Facebook page. Haven't been through a lot of articles yet but it looks pretty good.

Actually the thing is, I am just so confused about my sexuality. I'm 19 and I had my sexual encounter with a guy when I was 14 or 15. It was just about sex, no feelings or anything. We didn't even make out, just down to business! It happened so many times that I can't count. The moment we were alone in the room, I was practically ready to pounce on him. The funny thing is, at that time I didn't even know what it meant. I know its hard to believe, but I actually started getting to know about sex and stuff in high school.

I also sort of had my first crush in grade 11. It was on this guy the first day of class. I specifically remember it because I knew it was just something different. Throughout class I was trying to sneak a peak at him. It kinda washed out the same day after I went to talk to him. I've never truly liked anyone I guess. I can only remember three instances which I can say were quite strong crushes, all guys.

Needless to say, I am pretty sure I am into guys. The tricky thing happened when after a lot of denial, I finally decided to confront it and come out to a few close friends. Fortunately they were completely cool with it, and these are straight guys I'm talking about. My sister, after an initial shock and denial came around to the idea. Although she's asked me not to take a firm decision just yet and keep all my 'options' open!

I don't exactly fit the stereotype, which is why when I told people, they continuously kept telling me that its not true and just something I've gotten into my head. When I told my sis about that incidence when I was 14, she said you were probably just too horny. How do you know for sure, you've never actually been with a girl. Might be that you're bi.

I don't know if its their rambling or the fact that ever since I confronted it I've been analyzing my feelings a lot that I too believe that I've been too quick in deciding. I just wanna sleep with a girl and find out. The problem is, I am not so good with girls and being in an engineering college sure doesn't help my chances there! How will I ever know for sure?

- Confused IITian

Dear Confused IITian, it is clear from your mail that you have strong attraction towards men, which is perfectly fine. And I applaud your courage for coming out to your sister and straight friends. One thing you must realize is, you don’t have to fit into the stereotypes if you are gay. There are many who are macho in their appearance and behaviour, yet gay.

Ask these couple of questions to yourself:

When you see an endowed woman, do your eyes fixate to her breasts? Do you try to get a peek into her cleavage?
When you watch straight porn, whose private parts turn you on?
When you masturbate, try fantasizing about a woman. What would you want to do with her? Is it helping to release your load?

I know for the fact that I’m 100 percent gay. For all the above situations, a girl is a strict no for me. I live with a bunch of straight guys and I feel really uncomfortable whenever they get too graphical about a girl they have seen. But I know it’s a guy thing and I would have imagined all that if I see an attractive man.

You are just 19. A life filled with rich and varied experience is waiting for you, let it unfold naturally. Do what that makes you feel good and of course, which does not inconvenience others. And if you try to sleep with a girl just to find out whether you will like the experience, most probably it will result in disappointment because your mind will be too preoccupied in analyzing whether you are enjoying each and every act.

Check out these related posts too!

Ask Sam: Entangled With A Married Guy
Ask Sam: Closeted But Acting Homophobic
Ask Sam: Gay Or Not

The Great Indian Mainstreaming Of Homosexuality

2011-04-23T12:22:00.007+05:30

Often I have expressed my anger and frustration about how media was being insensitive when dealing with topics surrounding homosexuality and how we were always misrepresented. However, over the past few months, I see that there has been a drastic change on what’s been written about us. Thanks to the High Court rule decriminalizing gay sex, it seems that the media has now got a new-found courage to not to stick to the usual perceptions and instead, they are now trying to bring out the real stories behind the rainbow. And the best part is they are doing this with no qualms which in a sense I feel as if they are shouting, screaming and discussing the topic like never before to compensate all these years of misrepresentation.

In the month of February this year, for the Sunday magazine of Hindustan Times newspaper – Brunch, the publication ran a cover story titled ‘One Man’s Story’, about the famous stand-up comedian, Vidur Kapur. The article very vividly narrated the troubled childhood and confusion Vidhur had to go through and he couldn’t find any solace from his family either. With every passing day, his self-esteemed dipped making him slip into depression which provoked him to take his life. Even though he didn’t succeed in the attempt, his sufferings didn’t end with this. Soon he had to come out to his family and instead of getting support, he was subjected to even more humiliation – the psychologist they took him to even did chromosome tests on him, to check whether he was a normal male! The doctors, his family and his friends – no one understood him and he shut himself off from the outside world. This moving account then talks about how Vidhur finally made peace with his sexuality, how he tore down all the walls he had built around him, how he found his love and in the end what led to his parents welcome their “son in law”!

To download and read the PDF of the article, click here.

The struggles that Vidhur faced, is experienced by many of us. When I was under depression because of failing to understand why I’m feeling something which was unusual, my parents were not aware. Like many of us, the path of accepting my sexuality was frustrating and tiring, to say the least. And this is why ‘coming out’ is such a big event for us, because it marks the end of a long struggle. This facet of us perhaps was never openly talked about in the mainstream media, until now. And this could be the beginning of the change in their attitudes – sensitizing and enlightening the readers through personal accounts of people like us.

When Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality in 2009, certain political and religious groups challenged the verdict and brought the matter in front of the Supreme Court. However, a touching development took place following this. 19 parents of LGBT children from across the country (along with a group of 16 academics and teachers, and a group of 14 mental health professionals) came forward and submitted their petition to counter this homophobic move. The group of parents is led by Mrs. Minna Saran, the mother of late Nishit Saran.

Nishit was an aspiring film maker and in 1999, he filmed his coming out to his mother. Mrs. Saran accepted her son for who he was. Sadly, Nishit died in a tragic road accident three years later.

In February, The Indian Express daily carried a full-fledged cover story in their Sunday supplement, Express Eye about these parents who dared to openly support their children. The article’s headline screamed, ‘My Son Is Gay, And I’m Proud Of Him’. A very moving piece, it talks about how they felt when their children came out to them and what they thought of the hogwash propagated by their (our) opposition.

You can read the online version of the Express Eye article by clicking here and to watch Nishit's moving documentary of his coming out, "Summer In My Veins", click here to reach the post where I had shared the video long ago.

Last Sunday, NDTV aired the show 'We The People' devoted to the parents’ petition. This is another bold move to bring out the issue to the forefront which showed the parents and the children sharing their experiences and thoughts. During the program it was highlighted how it was clearly breaking the long associated stereotype of gay males being effeminate. It also focused on another important aspect of how the schools should sensitize the issue of sexuality and the care and approach a counselor should take on while counseling a child who seeks help regarding his or her sexuality.

Click on the play button below to watch the episode. If you're reading this post from an email you will have to access the site to view the video.

While the whole effort deserves a standing ovation, I just have one chafe - I feel highly disturbed when someone considers homosexuality as a ‘choice.’ Is heterosexuality a choice? For most of us this was never a choice, but a realization. I feel, equating it with choice is actually insulting our journey of acceptance of who we are.

Now I have to strongly emphasize and appreciate the efforts of a newspaper for having balls to come up with their initiative. These guys have actually gone ahead one step further than the rest and are truly mainstreaming homosexuality.

Check out the snapshot of clippings below.

For the past two months, DNA newspaper (that’s acronym for Daily News Analysis and not the Australian gay lifestyle magazine) has been dedicating an entire page in their Sunday edition for LGBT issues. This section called 'Out Of The Closet', features diverse stories and realities of what it feels to be part of a minority that is ridiculed and shunned. DNA journalists are talking to various people in the community and bringing out their voice to the much larger audience. This specific page also features guest articles from the well known LGBT personalities in India and provides an update on LGBT news from around the world! Seriously, what more can we ask for! When we were growing up, we had no source of information to reach out to. Hell! We didn’t even know there was a category of population termed homosexuals! (and bisexuals and transsexuals – to be politically correct). And now that this topic is been discussed and debated openly, the path of acceptance of one’s sexuality would hopefully be a much shorter walk for the new generation.

For the sake of convenience for CSB readers, I have collated the 'Out Of The Closet' pages appeared till now and combined them into a PDF. To download and read, click here.

India is also witnessing a trend where entrepreneurs are identifying and realizing the potential of a section of the market which had remained untapped. Now a string of services have sprung up to address the growing demand from the LGBT community. We now have a travel boutique that specifically caters to gays - Indjapink, an exclusive gay event management firm - Salvation Star, a fashion store for gay men - D’Kloset, a retail store that sells practically everything LGBT related from t-shirts and accessories to mugs - Azaad Bazaar, a dedicated web portal to shop for queer books, DVDs and CDs - Queer Ink, an annual International LGBT Film Festival - Kashish, a gay lifestyle magazine - Fun and the latest, a discount card specifically for the LGBT crowd (claiming to be Asia's first) that is going to be launched on April 27. The tabloid Sunday Mid Day carried an article, 'It's A Pink Deal' (again a cover story) in January on the boom of Pink commerce in India (especially in Mumbai), which was written as a precursor for the Mumbai Pride Week.

To download the PDF of this article, click here.

The Supreme Court of India is expected to deliver the final judgment on legalization and decriminalization of gay sex sometime after July. There are many who have been fighting tirelessly to bring about the changes that we are witnessing now. Hope we will be able to sustain this momentum and good sense prevails for the world's largest democracy to succeed in ushering equality to its citizens. We have a long way to go in bringing anti-discrimination laws at public and work places, legalizing gay marriages and in laying down inheritance laws and adoption rights. But nevertheless, this is a good start!

The very first picture used for this article is a still from Onir's latest feature film, 'I Am' slated to release on coming Friday. 'I Am' is a fusion of four stories, in which one deals with sexual discrimination and how police uses Article 377 to harass and blackmail gay men. You can view the theatrical trailer of 'I Am' by clicking here.

Check out these related posts too!
Indians Being Homophobic And More
'Yuva' Dares To Break Open The Closet
The New Face Of Indian Homophobia
An Equal Love

Hello?

2011-04-19T12:51:00.007+05:30

I was browsing through the book section the other day. With no intention to buy, I was reading the blurbs of the many Indian fictions that were displayed on the racks. I was also hoping that it would be nice if I stumble upon a book that had a gay character as the protagonist.

After a couple of brief blurb-reading, a title hinting of a homosexual subtext caught my eye. It read 'You Are Not Alone'. Curiosity gripped as I flipped the book over and read the back to see what it was about – ‘Sanjay Sanghavi is a single urban homosexual counting the last minutes of his life...’ Waaow, can’t believe I have actually hit the jackpot!

At the last Queer-Ink’s book fair in Mumbai, I did bump into a number of gay fictions, but the sheer amount of titles was so overwhelming that it was becoming a task to choose one over the other. And here in Cochin, discovering one from a bunch where I least expected gave me a sense of accomplishment.

I flipped through the pages, tried to read paragraphs from here and there. I wanted to make sure it was something I could relate to. When I found myself checking how the ending would be, I shut the book and decided to buy.

Now my two cents on this while keeping it as vague as possible:

Sanjay’s story is not an extraordinary one, but it has moments which we long for. If we look at ourselves, we all could relate to what he went through – the usual, the unusual, the good and the bad. And this is exactly the beauty and strength of Arun Mirchandani’s debut novel. It doesn’t take you to unbelievable fantasy trips and yet keeps one hooked till the end. Being a light read, You Are Not Alone could be a solace to those who are trying to come in terms with their sexuality - if not an answer, at least a hope.

(Click on the cover to read the blurb. Courtesy: Frogbooks.net)

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CSB Xclusive! Sahil Anand Arora

2010-10-10T01:10:00.010+05:30

For most of us, when we bump into a fashion spread of a sexy guy, we get curious to know more about him. And then there are some bunch like 'yours truly' who get into a search mode on who clicked the snap. While being entranced by the sight of the gorgeous hunk and the creativity of the photographer, it doesn't come to us to think about those 'artists' who the make the models camera-ready, giving them a flawless look. CSB Xclusive! presents to you one such unsung hero.

Sahil Anand Arora does make up and hair styling for models for their fashion shoots. He also train modelling and self-grooming. When I first saw his pictures, I got totally smitten by his looks. This guy is the perfect blend of being uber cute and handsome (not to forget his gorgeous bod). So I approached him, asked whether he would be interested in being featured on CSB. And Ooh la la! Here he is!!

24 year old Sahil was born and brought up in Calcutta, India in a Punjabi family. He shifted to Delhi seven years ago for studies and was working as a freelancer for the past two years. He then realized Mumbai could offer much more in terms of contacts and opportunities and that pushed him to relocate to the Bollywood-city.

It's been only 5 months since he did that and things are already shaping up well for him. Here he met the illustrious fashion photographer, Sayan Sur Roy. Sayan saw that Sahil had the potential to be a model. Surprisingly Sahil happens to be camera-shy and it was Sayan who made him comfortable to pose for snaps.

And as you can see from the photos splashed across this post, Sayan was indeed right!

Sahil, thanks a lot for sharing these pics. Hope we can see you pretty soon on those ramps and billboards. So here's wishing you all the very best. Go for it and give us many more shots that will leave us spell-bound!

Photographs #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #9 (from the top) shot by Noor Khan & Photograph #8 by Sayan Sur Roy. Click them for their complete and higher resolution versions.

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Indians Being Homophobic And More

2010-07-04T20:10:00.008+05:30

There is a strong intolerance brewing in India. Probably, it was always there, probably I was ignorant about it, but now the frequency by which it makes headlines almost every other day makes me sit up and wonder, what is frikkin' wrong with us? Why are we so hell-bent in intruding other’s personal lives and decisions? By some twisted justification given in the name of ‘honour’, mothers and fathers kill their daughters and sons, brothers take the lives of their sisters and brother-in-laws, and relatives decide the fate of young couples. [link][link][link][link]

What is more shocking is the fact these people have no remorse for their bloody actions and firmly believe what they did was right. I can’t help but look at them with the same lens that I see terrorists who slaughter in the name of ‘jannat’ and take pride about their heinous acts.

Last year's gay parade at New Delhi. Courtesy: Associated Press

Post striking down section 377, it is encouraging to see journalists being more open to writing about homosexuality. On July 2nd, which marked the one year anniversary of the landmark High Court judgement, Indian dailies extensively discussed about matters concerning gays. The stories mostly reflected on the hopes and dreams of millions of Indian gays - to be accepted for what they are without any grudge. Celine Jaitley, the actress and gay rights activist, penned a wonderful piece on Hindustan Times trying to make readers see that this is not just about gay rights, but about human rights. (Read the article here.) But I still get that irking feeling when the word “choice” gets mingled in this whole debate. Deciding which flavour of ice cream one wants is a CHOICE, but to be GAY or STRAIGHT is NOT. Homosexuality and choice do not sit on the same boat. Period!

Though there were numerous articles that touched upon homosexuality very positively, I’m not sure how many got read by those who hold the prejudice. And the reason? The photos used for these articles were supporting the stereotypical beliefs. If I were a homophobe, and I see an article about homosexuality with a snap that enforces my prejudiced believes, would I be challenging myself to see situations differently? May be the transgendered and cross-dressers are more “camera-friendly”, but I feel that the media should resist the temptation of magnifying stereotypes. A picture indeed screams a thousand words and we badly want to see something that we can identify with.

Harish Iyer (centre) with his colleagues at Shobiz. Courtesy: Economic Times

With that said, the above image which appeared on Economic Times for the article that discussed about how things are finally changing for gays in the Indian workplace, was refreshing; thanks to Harish and Bharat Chanda (the photographer).

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The New Face Of Indian Homophobia
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The Look-Alike

2010-06-27T17:30:00.010+05:30

"Hey.. You look exactly like one of my friends!”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, you so totally look identical to him. Where are you from?”
“I’m from this city.”
“Are you sure you don’t have any relatives in Kerala?”
“No, why?”
“Just checking whether you are even remotely related to my friend.”

When they say there could be seven people out there who might be having identical faces, it feels weird when you bump into one who looks like a carbon copy of someone you know; except that this guy was chubbier and had coloured piercings on his left eyebrow. But his smile is oh-so-totally just like my friend’s.

I should have chatted with him, but I didn’t.
Then I could have exchanged numbers with him, but I didn’t.
And I could have clicked snaps with him, but I didn’t. It would have been fun showing them to my friend and to see him flip out. And so yeah, the above conversation is just another ideated one among the many could’ves-should’ves-would’ves that echo in my head.

At the 'Parents and Relatives (of gays) Meet' organised by Gay Bombay, it was good to see fathers also among the higher number of mothers. The discussion steered towards how parents can be offered assistance in their process of coming in terms with the truth that their son/daughter is gay, which led to taking an initiative of forming an Indian PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays), similar to the one that exists in US (www.pflag.org). But the highpoint of the meet for me was when a mother shared her experience - when her son came out to her, she took her son and his boyfriend for dinner that night to celebrate!

You can read the full report of the 'Parents and Relatives Meet' here.

By the way, do you think it is a coincidence that I get to read this soon after the look-alike-encounter? (Click on the pic to get a readable version.)

Courtesy: Hindustan Times Cafe

Arya Babbar happens to be one of my favourites for obvious reasons! ;)

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CSB Xclusive! An Interview With Ronald N. Tan

2010-04-15T12:17:00.011+05:30

His clients include magazines - DNA, reFRESH, BeautifulMag, Vertu, Horizon, M Mensuel; French apparel brand - Vilain Garcon; and model agencies - Bleu Model Management, City Models SF, Click Models LA, Ford Models SF, Renegade Models NYC; to name a few. But Ronald N. Tan doesn’t let the success and fame go to his head, has his feet both firmly on ground and prefers to be regarded as an "emerging photo- grapher." Born in Burma, his family traditionally held professions in medicine and Ronald himself is a baccalaureate in Applied Physics & Pre-pharmacy. In 2007, he took that leap to chase his dream of becoming a photographer and there was no stopping for him after that. In this interview to me, Ronald shares to CSB readers about his journey of being a men’s fashion and beauty photographer, his deep love for India and Indian men, and also about his ongoing exploratory project titled "Personal Project."

Just FYI, Ronald’s photography was previously showcased on CSB at here.

Crazy Sam (CS): You chose to chase your dream of pursuing photography instead of staying on to be in the academic field. What gave you the courage to do such a scary shift?

Ronald N. Tan (RT): The spark that ignited my passion into an evolved conflagration is when I finally grasped the reality of my homosexuality in 2006. The newfound elated liberation gave me the courage and the strength to pursue my dreams of being a visual artist.

Click the pics for their complete and higher resolution versions.

CS: Did you have to put in a lot of effort than you thought to bag that first assignment?

RT: It was effortless for me because the Paris-based M MENSUEL Magazine editor found my photographs of Los Angeles actor Marco Dapper on the French blog site of Vilain Garcon, ran by Monsieurs Michel Sétan & Matthieu Croquette. Fred LeFeuille contacted me shortly and issued me my first cover with a featured six-page spread in his magazine that circulated into mainstream neighbouring countries of France, French-provinces of Canada, and the New York City. It was interesting because my adventures as an "emerging photographer" started thereafter.

CS: Currently what all assignments are keeping you busy?

RT: Personal Project is keeping me busy for now. I welcome and accept assignments! I'm going to be on my best behavior and look forward to serving my clients. :-)

CS: A photographer you admire?

RT: Tony Duran. Because I am going through my "B+W" phase.

CS: I know you have a special affinity towards Indian men and you consider yourself at times a "Desi-at-heart." Could you give us an insight to that?

RT: INDIAN MEN ARE MY KRYPTONITE!!! You are all beautiful and I love you all. I think karma and reincarnation made an error and I was born Burmese/Chinese! :-) Maybe in my next life, I'd be born into a Desi family where my mum and dad are the BEST Indian artisan chefs specializing in Madras, Punjabi fine-cuisines. Being born in Rangoon, Burma, my native country conjugated cultural influx with India. I grew up nourished with Burmese food that is influenced from India, Thailand, and China. At a young age, I was enamoured with India at the surface level, but not fully appreciated or understood in-depth. Even today, I have yet to see India with my own eyes and see its people living in reality and not from an illusion painted by the tourist industry. I want to see and experience her beauty - both the good and the bad - later in the future. Obviously I was facetious in the beginning, but my appreciation towards your country and culture is more profound than the assortment of what the mainstream exports.

CS: Your favourite Indian actors?

RT: You'll need a sequel to the interview if you want me to fully disclose my favorites! Mr. Shah R. Khan enticed me into the Bollywood genre with his film, "Asoka." Since then, I have learnt to enjoy viewing films that starred: Amitabh Bachan, Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, Abhishek Bachan, Hrithik Roshan, Saif Ali Khan, Kajol, Rani Mukherjee, Priyanka Chopra, Preity Zinta, Kareena Kapoor, Jaya Bachan, Kirron Kher, et al.

CS: Tell us something about your "Personal Project" which you see as being more edgy when compared to your usual shoots.

RT: "Personal Project" is a tentative title of a forthcoming photography book project I am working on with careful attention. Due to the sensitive nature, a minor change in direction or gesture can be turning a regal photograph in the opposite direction. Containing artistic male nudity, it is my first exploratory project on highly provocative sexual images of men, simultaneously exhibiting class and regalia. It is more than a book chock full of naked men. Each photograph of the volunteers I've captured contained a fragment of myself - what I was thinking and what mood I was experiencing when I pressed the shutter on my camera. These photographs are an extension, an alternate glimpse into my psyche as an emerging visual artist facing the challenges and trepidation from societal scrutiny. When I initially commenced this sensitive project, I feared how I'd be perceived. I feel that although I am relatively new to the photography industry, I have artistically matured. I am ready to understand and grasp the intellectual and artistic merit required to appreciate the nude genre. If anyone gives me crap, I am just going to show them my middle finger.

CS: How can models approach you to be part of the "Personal Project"? Any prerequisites?

RT: Volunteers should, first of all, understand why I am involved in PP. They should understand their contribution and role towards PP. If models are interested in volunteering towards PP, they are all encouraged to submit via my website, http://www.ronaldntan.com. Instructions are under the "Personal Project" (PP) gallery. Due to practical reasons, volunteers should be local to San Francisco or Los Angeles.

CS: Can I assume that there is a possibility that "Personal Project" could bring you to India?

RT: DON'T GET ME STARTED!!! This would be a whole new book. It would probably result in my demise.. getting the privilege of capturing my true Adonises. You and your readers know Indian men are my KRYPTONITE. Then again, if that indeed occurred, I want my epitaph to simply read:

"Here lies Burmese photographer, Ronald Nyein Zaw Tan. He went chasing his dreams in 2007, found it, and is resting in peace in India while working on 'Personal Project: The Indian Edition'. His heart skipped several beats from too much Indian hotness resulting in cessation of normal circulation of the blood!"

I better be rested with all my photography equipment so I could finish "Personal Project" in my next life. :-)

The following video contains artistic nudity. Viewer discretion is advised.

Ronald N. Tan reserves the copyright for the images and the video.

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The Return Of The Craziness

2010-03-24T01:46:00.008+05:30

Yes, I'm back! Yay!! Forget everything that happened here during the past few weeks, I apologize if I caused you any confusion as a result of the drama. But it's heartening to see some of you so attached to CSB. I'm especially grateful to those who posted comments, sent emails and chat messages trying to show me that CSB is one of a kind and it should not be ceased or worse, get deleted.

I'm sure all of you remember our Phunk Factor. Finally, he came to his senses and now he has a blog!! Called Go Phunk Yourself!!, his blog can be reached at http://gophunkyourself.blogspot.com/. Phunk Factor had posted two entries here almost two months ago and you can read the further updates on his blog.

CSB Bags 4 Nominations For AGB Awards 2009

In 2008, Poonam of Visceral Observations came up with the concept of Avant Garde Bloggies Awards to recognize and honour Indian bloggers for their contribution to the blogosphere. CSB was nominated for five categories then and awared the first runner-up for Best Courageous Post. The second season of AGB Awards is now live and after tedious elimination processes by Poonam and team, the jury has announced this year's finalists. Out of the finalists, the best gets chosen by a public poll. This year CSB is nominated for four categories:

Best Off-Beat Post
Best Personal Post
Most Beautiful Header
Most Interesting Sidebar

You can click on the above categories to directly reach the poll-site of the respective categories and caste your vote (for me :P). If you like to check out other categories, the finalists and the link to their posts are put up here. And to vote for them, the polls are currently live at http://avantgardebloggies.wordpress.com/. The deadline is 28th March midnight IST (i.e., coming Sunday.) So hurry up and act fast if you want to be an influence in the search for the absolute best posts of 2009.

This is the return of Crazy Sam.

Cover Details

Model: Jessie Pavelka

Photographer: Bradford Rogne

Original Image Copyrighted To: Bradford Rogne

CSB Mock-up Magazine Cover Done By: Crazy Sam

Other Articles Shown On The Cover:

CSB Promotion: Dan Skinner's Photography

When He Gets Your Body Heated Up
"I Heart CSB!" Says Phunk Factor

Update - Monday, April 05, 2010:

'Yuva Dares to Bring Open Closet' gets runner up for 'Best Off-Beat Post' at AGB Awards 09. Thanks to all who voted for me. :-)

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CSB Turns 2!

CSB Now Straight-Friendlier Than Ever!

Year-End Special: 25 CSB Posts Of 2008 Revisited

When He Gets Your Body Heated Up

2010-01-22T16:42:00.012+05:30

This ad is rumoured to be one of the hottest ads ever made and with the guy looking like that, no wonder why he turns all our body heat up!

If you're reading this post from email you will have to access the site to view the video.

The hunk is Nathan J. Owens and his popularity recently skyrocketed because of his cover shoot for DNA. Nathen admits that there had been attempts to pull his clothes off in real life, but no success stories. (as told to DNA.)

Click the pics for their complete and higher resolution versions.

Photographed by Ronald N. Tan.

Nathan can be seen in Esmee Denters' Outta Here music video (video link). Also check out Nathan singing and playing guitar to Free Fallin' at here.

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That Hunk On Men's Health Cover!

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CSB Gets A Great Review From GayDemon!

2010-01-18T13:17:00.002+05:30

GayDemon* recently published a review about Crazy Sam’s Bloginess for their visitors.

Crazy Sam's Bloginess is an interesting, informative and intelligent blog by an Indian man named - good guess! - Sam! This is an engaging guy with great good humor and a light style that still manages to strike home with evocative stories from his own personal life as well as just all sorts of other things. His first post in the edition I am reading deals with his pleasure over receiving an OK from internationally-famous photographer Dan Skinner, offering Sam the 'all clear' to use any of his photos for this blog. Naturally, Sam thence puts up some amazingly tasty pictures of hot guys, including pics which go to high resolution and reveal much more than was initially thought! Sam discusses his own affairs reasonably publicly, including an introduction and very revealing emotional relationship of more than just a few years. His voice is all of our voices, in many ways, as he struggles to accept the affections of someone destined to leave at the close of a vacation, in spite of his deeper desires to hold onto the guy. It develops even more from there in a true-life tale of love and some lust. Otherwise, Sam's voice is nearly casual and easy to follow as he bends our attentions to other gorgeous men, situations and events. This is a fresh and stimulating blog, written by a regular human with honesty and appeal. It is also sexy as hell.

Thank you guys; this is one of the best reviews I have read about CSB. View the GayDemon post about CSB by clicking here.

In case you guys haven’t noticed, CSB has finally got a guestbook which you can reach through the link that appears on the right most column. Oh, happy 2010 everyone!!

*The link contains images that are not safe for work.

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Ask Sam: Entangled With A Married Guy

2009-12-03T17:57:00.008+05:30

Ola!!
I came across your blog through some site which listed top gay blogs. I must say, they were pretty spot on by placing your name on the list. I saw that run sort of an Uncle Agony section here as well, so here's my problem that I would like to get your opinion/advice on.

I met this guy online, we talked quite a good number of times at night. I casually flirted with him, NOT sex talk but just flirting. After a couple of nights I felt as if his replies are getting serious. More than that I got to know he's newly married. He told me that himself and asked me if it would be a problem. Not wanting to make him feel bad I replied in negative, saying it's not a problem. Now he's gotten really into me and I don't have any feelings for him. Moreover I'm feeling guilty like crazy ever since I got to know he's married. He's 22. I'm 19. I didn't expect a 22 year old dude to be married.
PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!

I haven't contacted him since five days and his offliners on yahoo are sounding delusional now.

Umair

Ola Umair! You said he asked whether his marital status would be a problem. But problem for what? When you guys chatted initially, what was that you both looked forward to, what did you guys want those night calls to transform into? So I’m assuming three possible scenarios – a relationship, a hook up or a platonic friendship.

It is obvious that you were not expecting a relationship from him. But I’m not sure whether he is looking for that. If he is, then you gotta let him know that you are not interested in having affair with a married guy.

If you guys had hit it off hoping to end up in bed (before he revealed his marital status), I think you should go forward. If the married guy is fine with it, why should you be feeling bad? It is his concern and even if you choose not to accept his invite, I’m sure he will find another guy and satisfy his needs. In most cases, this will be a onetime thingy and suppose if you both enter into ‘a friendship with benefit’ deal, even then I would say go for it. Again, it is his concern.

Now the third scenario i.e., a platonic friendship which I don’t think is that much of a possibility. Even then if that is indeed the situation, why should you run away from it? You might be a relief for him coz he finds you comfortable enough to open up and share his feelings. Even I think 22 is too early for a guy to get married (may be he was forced? I dunno. I’m just trying to imagine different possibilities.) But I definitely want you to respond to him. And if possible, try to have a meet with him. Often what we expect and what we get in real are quite different and puts things in a different perspective.

And please do let us know what you decided to do finally. Any readers wanna share their wisdom?

Check out these related posts too!
Ask Sam: Closeted But Acting Homophobic
Ask Sam: Gay Or Not
Ask Sam: 4th Time Unlucky?

Ask Sam: Closeted But Acting Homophobic

2009-11-28T09:53:00.005+05:30

I haven't come out of the closet and am pretty uptight about not letting anyone guess the truth unless I want them to. That's why I act a bit homophobic around my friends cause it feels like the ultimate safeguard to not let them suspect. But I feel terrible whenever I pass a comment like "That's so gay..." or calling a friend a fag when he wears a pink tee. What should I do?

Leo

Leo, I know how uncomfortable and insecure you feel about being gay. One of the greatest issues of us closeted gays are that we always feel we are being watched and constantly have the urge to protect ourselves and not let out even a single hint that we are gay. Our movements and thoughts become so constricted. Majority of us (closeted homosexuals) prefer not to react when subjected to something that relates to homosexuality. We are scared to raise our opinion thinking it would ultimately lead to outing ourselves. But then there are some, which is your case, who finds cover by acting homophobic. I’m glad that you realize what you are doing is wrong and wish to stop it. Because your actions are in a way helping to spread homophobia and also you may never know there may be someone getting hurt by your comments.

First thing you should do is to resist the itch to show people that you are a homophobe. You don’t need that false-safeguard. For the time being, the ideal approach could be to force yourself to keep mum when the situation makes you uneasy. Second, you need to be comfortable with your sexuality. However hard it might seem, try to accept and embrace your sexual orientation. Make yourself believe that here is nothing unmanly about being gay and you are as equal as your straight pals. And once you reach a stage where you don’t feel ashamed to tell yourself that you are gay, when a discussion or casual conversation regarding homosexuality happens among your peers, try to voice your genuine opinion. This is the age where straight people take courage to talk supportive about gays. So don’t be surprised to find some of your friends backing your point of view!

As usual, I request readers to put forward your thoughts at the comment section and help our Leo to overcome his dilemma.

I dedicate this post to a crazy fan of CSB whose birthday is falling on 2nd December. He was concerned about the lack of new posts appearing on this site. I hope he liked this early birthday gift! :-)

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Ask Sam: Gay Or Not
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CSB Promotion: Dan Skinner's Photography

2009-10-02T18:29:00.007+05:30

When Dan Skinner sent me an email saying I can feel free to use his photos for my blog, I was like.. Wow! Seriously? And then when I checked out his galleries, I knew his amazing talent deserves more than just few photos being displayed on my posts.

The US readers probably don't need an introduction about this (surprisingly) camera-shy guy. Dan has been in the cover art business for almost eight years. He has worked for over 400 companies internationally and has probably (coz he doesn't keep count) done two thousand covers. He has done every type of book genres and has worked in print, magazine, ebook and ezine. So there is a good chance that you might have come across his masterpieces at some point or the other.

The fashion industry came to know about Dan Skinner this year and he is now busy involved in doing projects for this venue. He told me that he discover and shoot his own models and tries to do one frame storyboard shots or tell a story through them.

The DNA Magazine recently bought pics of one of his models, Dave Wilkinson and will be featuring them on their next edition. Also, DNA's blog will be showcasing four pieces from Dan's "Study Break" series. And the latest edition of the online magazine, Blake did a five page feature on his "End Of Summer."

Dan Skinner claims that he is a self taught photographer and a pro at photoshopping. It's a no-brainer that this guy is a hardcore workaholic and a crazy perfectionist. He has his own studio called Cerberus Inc. based in Saint Louis, Missouri, USA, which he formed with his business partner and former model, Nick Fichter. I was absolutely delighted to know that he belongs to that rare category of photographers who wouldn't suggest the guys to shave off their chest hair for the shoot. As you can see from the pics below, Dan presents Nick in his all raw sexy hirsuteness! Woof!! :P

By the way, you can click on the photos to view their high resolution versions and you could be very well surprised by what some of them reveal! :D

Dan is a twitterholic as well and you guys can catch him at @cerberusinc. To see more of his work, visit his gallery.

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CSB Turns 2!

2009-09-12T01:39:00.006+05:30

It's been two years and I really can't believe this blog actually survived for this long! As cliched it may sound, this journey became all the more interesting only because I am fortunate to have you readers and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. A special thanks to Vee for recommending CSB to his readers.

CSB had been running a poll for the past few weeks on "Invitations Of A Different Kind." I admit that the questions posed were quite quirky, but you guys dared to play along. The poll received 379 responses. Click here to get back to the post and see the results. (By the way, if you remember my earlier poll, I think it's time that I change my status! :D)

That's all for now. My present situation doesn't allow me to blog frequently or type long posts, but I hope that will all change soon. So don’t you dare to ditch CSB! :P

All For A Kiss! - A Crazy Confession From Sam

2009-08-09T00:28:00.003+05:30

"Oh my God! This is really stupid. I’m so gonna regret for agreeing to do this!" I thought to myself as we sneakily got ourselves crammed into one of the narrow lavatory stalls.

Sid had come to India during his semester break to be with his family. A dating site initiated our friendship. We exchanged numbers and from then on we didn’t forget to call each other every night. A week went by and both of us felt it was finally time to have the rendezvous. The next evening, we met - a meeting that was casual, just like two old pals. We sipped, ate, schmoozed (not smooched! :P) And then that night over phone, he asked me whether I felt anything special for him. I said, "Naah, but it felt good to finally meet you." I knew what his type was and clearly I was not one. And more importantly, why should I be allowing myself to feel anything "special" for a guy who's gonna be back to a foreign country in about three or four weeks? He too had similar reasons, but I guess he surprised himself when he defied all that. The first time he called me 'sweetheart', I remember it felt really weird and I couldn't stop laughing. But he made sure that I get used to hearing it and it reached to that point where I would crave to get that word out of his mouth whenever we were having talks. It was kinda getting addictive and yes, I was falling for him.

Another thing that was becoming an addiction (for both of us) was the need to see each other every single day. The evening traffic or the monsoon downpours didn't weaken our spirits; we made sure we had that one chance to be together even if it was for a short time. I used to anxiously wait for the evening to come, so that I can rush from my office to meet him. It was during one of these meets at a mall when he told me that he wanted to kiss me so badly and talked me in to getting inside the restroom. We got in, waited there, setting our hair, washing our hands and faces one too many times, until we found there was no one else other than the two of us. Then we opened the door to one of the stalls, got inside and shut it quickly before someone could walk in and see the sight of two guys getting in at the same time.

So there we stood face to face, both of us feeling really nervous and starting to sense that this was indeed a bad idea. We leaned forward for the kiss. But the helmets in our hands began to hit each other during the attempt, making knocking sounds which made both of us even more uneasy; for they could make the people outside curious. As obvious, the kiss didn't happen and we both now felt like escaping from the self-imposed trap. But how do we come out? We didn't want the situation to get any more embarrassing than what already was. Sid suggested that since it could be risky if we both got out together, he would go out first and I wait for sometime. So he opened the door when we felt the place was absolutely silent. After he left, I locked the door and I waited for like about 10 minutes before I finally had the courage to poke my head out. In the meantime, Sid was waiting outside the restroom wondering why I was taking this long to show up. Anyway, we both decided that we would never try to even think of doing such absurdities.

However absurdities happened even after that. On some other night, we tried to make out on an open field near a highway. That time we felt some one was watching and coming towards us and we had to run. But later one night, the kiss did finally happen.. right on the street where I live! Even though we had to break the kiss every time a vehicle passed by and had to pretend as if nothing was going on, as soon as it was out of site, we would soon be plunged into that passionate lip lock again. The kiss was so wild and powerful that the high lasted for hours and I truly discovered what it meant to feel happy from inside.

But that kiss also warned us of how far we had crossed the line. What that was going on between us wasn't supposed to turn into anything serious, but it was beginning to. And before we both reach a stage where it becomes excruciating to deal with the separation that was bound to happen, we agreed that it was better to cut the whole thing off. And thus we took different roads. Then a year later, we met one more time when he came for his semester vacation.

Now whenever I pass by all those places where we had our "attempts", those images flash in my mind and I smile to myself. I guess he gave me one of my firsts; he made me feel how it is like to fall in love. And it is an adventure nevertheless – magical, enlivening, exciting - making ordinary people do the craziest of things!

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Follow Sam's twitter-bloginess @ http://twitter.com/samsbloginess