Sarcastic Bite.com

Teen Sucker Punches Teacher in Alley

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:42:36 +0000

Who knows if the guy deserved it, but it is pretty damn funny. Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Holly Comesoftly — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 22:21:36 +0000

A drinking game for tonight’s Presidential Debate in Denver (but they should work just as well for the VP debates and the second Presidential debate). One Drink When Romney invokes the name Ronald Reagan When Obama invokes the name Bill Clinton Two Drinks If Romney attempts to come off as an Average Joe If either [...]

Tramp Stamp too Boring Try Bagel Heading

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 00:19:58 +0000

OK, I get that’s it’s not permanent, but why? Why have your forehead shot full of 400 cc of saline to form a temporary bagel. I guess it’s good if you’re an actor going out for the role of a Doctor Who or Star Trek alien. Beyond that who wastes good money on something this [...]

Memphis Frat Boy Butt Chugs Way to Hospital

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 17:25:07 +0000

And here I thought that vodka tampons and slimming were the ultimate in Gen Y/ Millennial alcohol stupidity. But no, fraternity brothers at University of Tennessee have come up with a new one… the alcohol enema. It would be sad except for the fact that enjoyed watching local Memphis news anchors reduced to reporting on [...]

New Jersey Mom Allegedly Puts 5 Year Old Daughter in Tanning Bed

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 02 May 2012 16:48:44 +0000

Snooki we’re sorry for calling you an Oompa-Loompa and making fun of your artificially enhanced skin tone. We’ve finally seen something much worse, in the burnt form of 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil, who was charged with second-degree child endangerment. She is accused of bringing her 5-year-old daughter into a tanning booth, causing the girl to [...]

Unemployed Hick Willing To Be Hunted For $10,000

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 21:32:16 +0000

The economy sucks and job prospects are sketchy at best. So unemployed 28 year-old Mork Encino has launched a website advertising his humble services. What is he selling? For $10,000 Mr. Encino will let people hunt him; if you pony up an extra $2,000 you can hunt him naked. Well I guess it’s implied in [...]

Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead

Geppetto Jones — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 15:59:29 +0000

A dwarf porn star who was billed as Gordon Ramsay’s double has been found dead under bizarre circumstances, according to the UK tabloid The Sunday Sport. Percy Foster’s 3 foot 6 inch body was discovered in a badger’s den in Wales. The Sunday Sport ran with an appropriate tabloid headline. The report says the diminutive [...]

Rent Your Bathroom to Strangers- There’s An App for That, CLOO

Geppetto Jones — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 22:15:31 +0000

Back when I was a kid– you held it. Had to go poo, wait till you get home! Pull over by the side of the road. Wait till the train stops and pray there isn’t some freak in the restroom or that there’s enough toilet paper. But now there’s an app for that!? Download CLOO, [...]