Sarcastic Bite.com

Unemployed Hick Willing To Be Hunted For $10,000

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 21:32:16 +0000

The economy sucks and job prospects are sketchy at best. So unemployed 28 year-old Mork Encino has launched a website advertising his humble services. What is he selling? For $10,000 Mr. Encino will let people hunt him; if you pony up an extra $2,000 you can hunt him naked. Well I guess it’s implied in [...]

Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead

Geppetto Jones — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 15:59:29 +0000

A dwarf porn star who was billed as Gordon Ramsay’s double has been found dead under bizarre circumstances, according to the UK tabloid The Sunday Sport. Percy Foster’s 3 foot 6 inch body was discovered in a badger’s den in Wales. The Sunday Sport ran with an appropriate tabloid headline. The report says the diminutive [...]

Rent Your Bathroom to Strangers- There’s An App for That, CLOO

Geppetto Jones — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 22:15:31 +0000

Back when I was a kid– you held it. Had to go poo, wait till you get home! Pull over by the side of the road. Wait till the train stops and pray there isn’t some freak in the restroom or that there’s enough toilet paper. But now there’s an app for that!? Download CLOO, [...]

Kate Gosselin Meltsdown Over Pizza For Her Bodyguard

Geppetto Jones — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:56:33 +0000

If you’ve read this blog over the years, you know that my disdain for reality show twit Kate Gosselin knows no bounds. With the finale of her show, hopefully her eight kids will finds some peace outside the glare of TLC’s ever present lights and cameras. But not before CNN’s Anderson Cooper gives Kate an [...]

My Facebook Date Made Me His Getaway Driver

Geppetto Jones — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 22:46:20 +0000

Oh, Facebook thank you for bring two star-crossed young people in South Wales together. Leah Gibbs, 23, was looking for love online. 21-year-old Adam Minton was secretly looking for something different– a getaway driver. The two decided to go out on a date after meeting on Facebook. Gibbs’ plan was to spend an evening watching [...]

Michele Bachmann Vanishing Before Our Very Eyes

Geppetto Jones — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 15:32:30 +0000

Last night’s, GOP debate was funny for a number of reasons. We finally got to see the squinty-eyed Rick Perry mix it up with the rest of the Republican jokefulls. Looking at the assemblage of candidates on stage at the Reagan Library, I couldn’t help but laugh. Rick Perry and Mitt Romney sucked all the air [...]

Screw Up Your Kids With These Books

Geppetto Jones — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 22:54:06 +0000

Just in time for the tenth anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, there’s a new coloring book that helps explain that dark day to kids. It is entitled “We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom.” The book begins with Osama bin Laden plotting to attack the United States and ends with bin [...]

Signs of the Apocalypse – Toddlers & Tiaras, Falsies On A 4 Year Old

Geppetto Jones — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:43:16 +0000

The end must be nigh. TLC’s hit reality show Toddlers & Tiaras, featured a 4 year-old contestant, Maddy, who was dressed up as Dolly Parton. Complete with fake boobs and butt. Please tell me someone around this kid was creeped out by this. Of course not. Her stylist Michael confesses that he’s not a fan [...]