Now if you remember this;

1. You are probably one of those morons who waited for this shit on PTV at around 3:30 pm just after Qari Sayed Sadaqat Ali teaching Quranic verses to 6 kids. (I forgot the name of the program though )
2. Sometimes when PTV used to mess up its schedule and skip the infamous captain planet, you’d curse them like anything but actually you were too small to know how to say “ffffff.. uuuuu PTV”
3. You must have imagined your self rescuing the world from villains.

Needless to say that by now when you are grown up, you definitely know that there is no fucking captain planet, neither there are any fucking rings which blow winds like hurricanes or give birth to a multi colored rainbow asshole called Captain Planet.

Let us praise all the home cooked, daal chawals, vegitables, samosay, parathay ! no matter how bad they are cooked, burnt with tons of salt and dripping with oil, they are and will always be the best food you can have.

Mohammad Younis, a spokesman for the PTA, said the ban was “the result of numerous meetings and consultations with stakeholders” after consumers complained of receiving offensive text messages. He said the list was not finished and the authority would continue to add to it.

“Nobody would like this happening to their young boy or girl,” said Younis. (Guardian)

Its very obvious that this guy has lost his mind as much as his institution’s chairman Prof. Muhammad Yaseen, who’s 30 research paper published, has done no good to his own mental development, let alone a country with more than 130 million cellphone users

I can only assume how formal the meetings would be with people wearing suits and tie sipping through coffee cups and deliberating words like “randi” and “bhenchod” to be banned.

There are  two lists containing words seen as offensive by PTA, in Urdu and English. The sick minds behind the compilation didn’t gave a second thought for words as comon as “Mangaithar “, “dafa hoja”, “bewakoof”, “mango”, “taxi”, “hard”, “banging”, “black out”, “breast”, “cock”, “crap”, “crappy”, “deeper”, “deposit”, “devil”, “do me”, “drunk”, “fairy”, “get it on”, “he hate me”, “harder”, “hole”, “hostage”, “idiot”, “jesus christ”, “killer”, “kill me”, “laid”, “lotion”, “molest”, “pussy cat”, “showtime”, “sixty nine”, “tongue”…. the list goes on.

I mean how absurd can you get PTA ? Isn’t it anybody who don’t get themselves in SMS conversations like;

(any random finance to his friend) “hey, send me a taxi, my mangaithar is having a tongue infection after eating a mango”

(one desperate student to another) “light chali gai hai and its total black out man! this exam preparation is getting so hard. I got merely got sixty nine in last exam paper. I am trying to get it on but its very difficult.

(some poor child in captivity) “help me. I am taken hostage. this killer devil is trying to molest me. He will kill me please call the cops”

(a civil engineer to his team mate) “dig the foundations a little more deeper”

Also ‘thanks’ to PTA, once this will come in application ;

All Christian Pakistanis will stop talking about religion and Jesus on sms

No animal foundations would sms about rescuing cute little pussy cats.

You will never be able to ask your friend “please do me a favor”

No banker would be able to talk about money being deposited in accounts.

Nobody from a multi million cosmetic business will ever be able to talk about their newly launched sunscreen lotion.

Don’t expect breast cancer awareness public service messages on phone

No employee of Orbit Showtime Network group living in Pakistan would be able to talk about his company on sms.

Enough said, I am not gona waste my time more discussing the dumb people and their policies in running this country.

UPDATE: After massive criticim on social media and blogosphere ; they have dropped the idea out of embarrassment. One way or the other, all the texters in safe as of now un til somebody else come up with idiotic censorship.

Click Friends

Click Edit and select appropriate privacy setting for yourself

Basically, anything on Facebook which has to do with “what others can see” or “what you want to hide”, it has to be in the privacy settings but unfortunately either Facebook user interface guys need more training or the company could have been intentionally making privacy settings difficult to manage.

store.apple.com/ae

In online, you have to keep doing things even if you don’t have the mood for that

Things are going really quick for me. It seems I have nothing much to do but still load of personal things are preoccupying my brain. Life is going good, health is fine, in fact I had a complete medical examination few weeks back. Turned up, I have good BMI (68 KG – 5ft-8inch). Cholesterol needs to be fixed, thats what you get when you do excessive hotel-ling. Rest of the things are pretty much okay including ECG and various medical aspects of blood (Liked the way it said, “Investigation Report”).

There are few dates (calender dates) which I am really looking forward to. There are a few projects which I need to finish, all in all, currently my life is a smooth ride with occasional bumps which I can cross pretty easily.

Contract with the current media group I am working for has been renewed and will stick to this job for the next two years.

Next goal ? Probably getting married

Happened in January 2009 when I was first coming to UAE. Actually that was the first time ever I flew in a plane. The weather was gloomy and the damn flight got delayed. Eventually the Airblue had to take us all the way from Peshawar to Islamabad in buses for a waiting A320 to fly.

I am going to turn 25 this June. Feel much older than my age at times. Probably because I have seen much in my life, stepped into practical life as early as age of 19 and have been working since then with pros.

And if all these pervert home appliances weren’t enough, now we got a Cooking Oil which is an alternative to a high dose Cialis (Viagra)

It is called Kashmir Premium Gold. Yeah, I know you want a real cheap tag line, so here it comes. Har Pal Mai Basa Pyar ! Nice han? As I said earlier its a real deal for men and you don’t have to sallow tablets, glasses of milk n water and all that crap. All you have to do is smell this thing and you’ll be good to ‘go’

On a serious note;

someone said,

As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women.

Pakistan as a nation is losing middle class moderates. People who can differentiate between religious extremism and shameless liberty. People who give Pakistan a collective wisdom and not C4 jackets or sexually arousing TV ads.  Heard somebody saying about floods the other day “Bahadur Komon Per Aazmaish Aati Hai”, I’ll say we deserved all that water, we deserved good 7.6 rector-scale shake, we deserved corrupt leaders because we are not “Bahadur”, not a “Kom” and this is not an “Aazmaish” at all !

Anyways Ramadan was pretty much fine for me. Got the tickets for home merely a couple of days before holiday and landed directly in Peshawar resulting in an extra “Roza”. So I had 31 days of fasting (LOL)

Peshawar Sadar is almost sealed for any cars and its really difficult to enjoy chand raat or go out to ear and stuff.

I didn’t tell anybody about my arrival just cause I wanted peace of mind for sometime with family. It was a good long holiday I needed and I’ll be making the most of it. Eid Mubarak to every body.