Sasablog-funny jokes stories-best funny youtube videos and clips

Fingers – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:49:22 +0000

Fingers – funny A guy was packing for a business trip and his three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her tiny fingers [...]

Wrong trial – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:48:55 +0000

Wrong trial – funny At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?” [...]

Ice Cream – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:47:59 +0000

Ice Cream – funny An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, “I am going to get a dish of ice cream now.” Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. “I’ll write it down so you don’t forget,” she said. “I won’t forget,” the old gent said. [...]

C0nd0ms – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:47:31 +0000

C0nd0ms – funny One day on the way home from work, I stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy to take home for me and my 7-year old son. It was a bag of Gold Coins (Gold Foil- covered chocolate candy coins). There were many sizes, [...]

Eating grass -funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:45:35 +0000

Eating grass -funny One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he noticed two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor [...]

Math Teacher – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:45:15 +0000

Math Teacher – funny The night before one exam, two students tied one on, (well, actually, tied two on, one each), and managed to sleep through the final. They realized they were in serious trouble, so they agreed to tell the professor that they had a flat tire on the way to the exam. “No [...]

Spaghetti Spaghetti -funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:43:57 +0000

Spaghetti Spaghetti -funny A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy [...]

Talking Frog – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:42:07 +0000

Talking Frog – funny A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.” He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.” [...]

Don’t step on the ducks -funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:41:44 +0000

Don’t step on the ducks -funny Three men die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!” So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible [...]

40 year curse – funny

admin — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:38:46 +0000

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says: “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation: [...]

Who was more polite – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:53:18 +0000

Who was more polite – funny A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man said he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, [...]

The Use of a Handsaw – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:44:37 +0000

The Use of a Handsaw – funny At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let’s try it, my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside. Scanning the [...]

Blonde And Chimps – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:44:10 +0000

Blonde And Chimps – funny A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde’s car and asked, “Are you going to Sydney?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be [...]

US Highway 22 – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:41:45 +0000

US Highway 22 – funny The highway patrolman sported a car driving dangerously slow on a much-traveled freeway. He pulled it over and found the driver to be an elderly lady with four other older women as passengers. “Lady,” said the officer, “your slow driving is almost as dangerous as speeders. You need to try [...]

A Driving Debacle – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:40:10 +0000

A Driving Debacle – funny A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you [...]

THE MAGIC FROG – FUNNY

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:38:53 +0000

THE MAGIC FROG – FUNNY A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint. “Doctor,” he asked, in total frustration, “is there anything you can do for me?” The doctor replies, “Medically son, [...]

Be Careful What You Wish For – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:38:22 +0000

Be Careful What You Wish For – funny A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish [...]

Confession of a kid – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:33:07 +0000

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school [...]

Contented Married Life – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:31:03 +0000

Contented Married Life – funny A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, “My wife makes all the small decisions,” he explained, “and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other’s business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints [...]

Satan Himself – funny

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:24:03 +0000

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and [...]

News From the Royal Wedding – funny joke

admin — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:55:25 +0000

News From the Royal Wedding – funny joke And now, news from the Royal wedding… On the day of the wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had forgotten to get any shoes. Panic! Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from [...]

The Parrot and The Frozen Chicken – funny joke

admin — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:42:36 +0000

The Parrot and The Frozen Chicken – funny joke A parrot swallows a V!agra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. “How come you are sweating?” he asks. The parrot replies, “Do you know how hard it is to [...]

Am Coming too! -Funny joke

admin — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:39:41 +0000

Am Coming too! -Funny joke Teacher: What’s wrong..?? Johnny : Our house is very small, Me, my mum and my dad, all sleep in the same bed. Every night my dad asks if I’m sleeping, I say No then he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye Teacher: tonight wen your dad asks, [...]

Three men Funniest Jokes

admin — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:29:45 +0000

Three men Funniest Jokes Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due [...]

Blind Date funny joke

admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:09:17 +0000

Blind Date funny joke Bob sets up his friend Sam on a blind date with a young lady friend of his. However, Sam is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before. Sam: What do I do if she’s not good looking? I’ll be stuck with her all night. Bob: Don’t [...]

World War III funny joke

admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:08:04 +0000

World War III funny joke Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and Powell?” The barman said, “Yep, that’s them.” So the guy walked over and said, “Hello. What are you guys doing?” Bush said, “We’re planning World War III.” The guy asked, [...]

Where are you from funny joke

admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:05:18 +0000

Where are you from funny joke Theater Guest A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t [...]

Passionate police joke

admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:03:09 +0000

Passionate police joke Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the [...]

Bill Gates picks his own punishment funny joke

admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:00:27 +0000

Bill Gates picks his own punishment funny joke Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice [...]

Anger versus Exasperation funny

admin — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 19:13:12 +0000

Anger versus Exasperation funny A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that the father went to the telephone and [...]

Housecleaning funny jokes

admin — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 17:25:54 +0000

Housecleaning funny jokes I don’t do windows because … I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don’t wax floors because … I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me. I don’t mind the dust bunnies because [...]

Translations of Help Wanted Ads funny jokes

admin — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 17:25:49 +0000

Translations of Help Wanted Ads funny jokes Energetic self-starter: You’ll be working on commission. Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law. Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. Fast learner: You will get no training from us. Flexible work hours: You will frequently [...]

A Texan in Ballinclashett funny

admin — Mon, 28 May 2012 21:53:59 +0000

A Texan in Ballinclashett funny A big Texan is walking down the main street of Ballinclashett and encounters Liam standing on the pavement beside a big strong horse. This prompts the Texan to attempt to realise a lifelong dream and he says to Liam, “Say Boy, that’s a fine-lookin horse you got there, and I’d [...]

Thanks A Lot funny

admin — Mon, 28 May 2012 21:53:46 +0000

Thanks A Lot funny I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your stinking chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern…….. I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet [...]

Bad Landing funny jokes

admin — Sun, 27 May 2012 19:29:41 +0000

Bad Landing funny jokes An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his plane into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that [...]

Deserted Island funny joke

admin — Sun, 27 May 2012 19:28:02 +0000

Deserted Island funny joke A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are VERY attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have [...]

FUNNY SOCCER JOKE and FOOTBALL JOKES

admin — Thu, 24 May 2012 16:53:40 +0000

In a crucial Cup semi-final a few years ago, the capacity rowd of 30,000 watched a rather diminutive striker get possession of the ball early in the second half. He was immediately tackled by three large defenders, and went down under a pile of thrashing arms and legs. Emerging dazed from the melee a few [...]

DID YOU REMEMBER

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 19:33:35 +0000

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they [...]

watermelons farmer – funny jokes

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:04:51 +0000

watermelons farmer – funny jokes There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made [...]

Two employees for the gas company – funny

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:02:32 +0000

Two employees for the gas company – funny Two employees for the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, “Geez, you’re old!” “Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you,” replied the older employee. “How about a foot race to see if you’re right,” [...]

We know nothing about each other

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:00:44 +0000

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she [...]

TRYING TO GET AN ADEQUATE SAMPLE SIZE

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 20:57:39 +0000

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, “I know what to do! We [...]

PLEASE SAVE OUR VILLAGE, DON’T COME BACK HOME

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:41:52 +0000

A man called his mom from the USA . Man : Mom, I have AIDS. Mother: Don’t come back home, my son. … Man : Why mom ? Mother: If you come back home, then your wife will be infected. From your wife to your brother, from your brother to our maid, from our maid [...]

THE SOFTWARE ENGINEER – FUNNY JOKES

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:34:48 +0000

THE SOFTWARE ENGINEER – FUNNY JOKES Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his [...]

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:30:47 +0000

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,”You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my [...]

ENGLISH WOMAN -FUNNY JOKES

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:29:19 +0000

ENGLISH WOMAN -FUNNY JOKES In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a [...]

DEAR BECKY

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:25:41 +0000

A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of [...]

Great thief And a the Guard

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:23:39 +0000

There once was a man who went to a computer trade show. Each day as he entered, the man told the guard at the door: “I am a great thief, renowned for my feats of shoplifting. Be forewarned, for this trade show shall not escape me unplundered. ” This speech disturbed the guard greatly, because [...]

I’M HERE TO FEED THE ALLIGATORS

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:23:09 +0000

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go [...]

MADE IN JAPAN JOKE

admin — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 20:27:18 +0000

A Japanese tourist hails a taxi at Heathrow Airport London and asks to be taken across London to the city. On the way the tourist sees a Toyota car and shouts, “Oh! TOYOTA! Made in Japan. Very fast.” Next he sees a Nissan car and shouts, “Oh! NISSAN! Made in Japan. Very fast.” Next he [...]