SAVOR THE DAY

Carpe Diem

2013-05-13T15:47:00.001-07:00

Carpe diem

Seize the day

Live for today

You live only once

Grab the bull by the horns

These oft repeated directives remind us to make the most of each moment. They tell us to squeeze every last drop from an experience and live boldly and joyfully. Why sit back and watch when we could participate! And, why toil when we could revel!

Unfortunately, most of us don’t actually live this way. We have excellent reasons and excuses for perpetually putting off seizing the moment. Perhaps this isn’t true for you, but it’s certainly true for me. Whether it’s a looming deadline, piles of e-mail, or baskets of laundry, there’s always something I “have to do” demanding my time and attention. I love my work and I can even find joy scrubbing the toilet and pulling weeds, but sometimes we have to be willing to relinquish the “shoulds” and the “have tos” in order to make room in our lives for the “wows” and “totally awesomes.”

A balcony in the sun-drenched South of France

When I look back on my life, the experiences that have had the greatest impact on me happened when I took advantage of every opportunity as though it might never present itself again. These have also been some of my happiest times. For instance, when I did a Junior-Year-Abroad in the South of France, I knew I only had eight or so months to learn as much French as possible, stroll the farmers’ markets, travel in Europe, and make new friends. I didn’t sit around and watch TV all evening, as I sometimes do now. Instead, I lounged in cafes, meandered along cobblestone streets, and spent weekends on the train exploring quaint villages. Although I wasn’t there even 12 months, I fit years worth of living into that short sojourn. The colors, scents, sounds, and people will be with me for the rest of my life.

My favorite fountain in Aix-en-Provence

In contrast, a few weeks ago, I went to the downtown area of my little town to pick up some food for a friend with the flu. Although the historic town square with trendy boutiques and great restaurants is only a couple blocks from my home, I realized it had been months since I’d visited. I live in the heart of California wine country, yet I rarely take advantage of my location. The people who spend a week here on vacation actually experience more of this beautiful area than I do.

When we’ve been somewhere for a long time, it’s easy to become complacent. There’s always tomorrow, next month, or next year. Having constancy can be a blessing, but also it can keep us from getting the most out of every day and even the most out of our lives. I often get caught up in the mindset of “so much to do – so much to do” and forget that in order to lead the life I want to lead, it’s important to make room in my life for madcap fun, in whatever form it takes. A life-altering experience need not take time, money, or be complicated.

One of the tree-lined streets in my sweet town

Although it might feel like a bit of a cliché, I think it’s important to take the “rocking chair test” from time to time. That is, imagine yourself as an old woman (or man) gently swaying in your chair. What will you remember? What will be the most poignant? What actions will have had the greatest impact? What will you regret? What will you be grateful for?

Although I find great pleasure in savoring the simple moments in life, such as my morning cup of tea or the way the dew looks on the grass when the sunlight hits it, I’m also realizing that if I spend more time acting as though there were an expiration date on my time in this home, in this town, with these people, doing this job, I might be able to squeeze even more zest out of my life.

Have you ever noticed how we often wait until something is nearly finished before we appreciate it? What steps could you take today to have more fun and make the most out this very moment?

Pastis Chicken

When I prepare this dish, which I’ve loosely based on a traditional Provençal dish, I’m instantly transported to Aix-en-Provence, where I spent a year studying French literature. With each bite, I feel my being flooded with the hot sun, the scent of lavender, and the unbound joy I felt while there.

This recipe makes two very hearty servings, but you can easily stretch it to serve four by adding two additional chicken breasts. There will be slightly less sauce for everyone to dip their bread in, but there will still be plenty of goodness to go around.

Serves 2-4

¼ cup olive oil
1 yellow onion, thinly sliced
6 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
2 lg. fennel bulbs, cored and thinly sliced
1 tsp. saffron threads, crumbled
5 Roma tomatoes, chopped
1 Tbsp. tomato paste
3 Tbsp. pastis (also goes by the brand names, Pernod or Ricard)*
½ cup good black olives (preferably not kalamata—too salty)**
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
sea salt

To garnish:
Chopped flat-leaf parsley

*Pastis is a traditional Provençal anise liqueur. If you can’t find it, the recipe will still be delicious without it.
**I typically use the olives my dad makes, which are halfway between green and black and somewhat vinegary, though any good olive will work.

Over medium heat in a large saucepan, sauté the onions and garlic in the olive oil with a pinch of salt until soft and translucent, about 10 minutes. To layer flavors, continue to add pinches of salt throughout the cooking process, being sure to taste as you go. Meanwhile, core and slice the fennel and soak the saffron. Saffron releases its flavor in moisture, so the best way to get the most out of this precious seasoning is to crumble the filaments between your fingers into a tiny bowl and soak them in a small amount of warm water (1-2 tablespoons). Add the fennel to the onions and sauté for 20 minutes or so to caramelize them. Add the saffron and soaking liquid, tomatoes, and tomato paste and stir to combine. Increase the temperature to medium-high and simmer until a luscious sauce is formed, about 5 minutes. Reduce to medium heat. Mix in the olives and the pastis. Put the chicken in the pan and cover with the sauce. Cover the pan and gently simmer until the chicken is cooked through (internal temperature 165ºF), about 20 minutes, though the time will vary based on the thickness of the breast. Do not over cook. Garnish with chopped parsley and serve with boiled potatoes and good French bread for mopping up the sauce. Bon appétit!

Not All Dreams Are Meant to Come True

2013-04-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself yearning for something that never seems to manifest? There might be a simple reason why it’s not coming to fruition…

Each spring I find there’s a palpable joy that courses through my body. It’s the kind of joy that can’t necessarily be attributed to any one thing in particular; rather it’s the sense of possibility that permeates everything, even the air. Bright green leaves unfurl on the trees and colorful flowers are everywhere. Songbirds fill my ears with their beautiful melody and the ground is soft and fertile.

I love the beautiful irises in the spring

One of my favorite springtime activities is planning my summer vegetable garden. Last night while reading the Baker Creek heirloom seed catalog, I found myself wishing I had a greenhouse (something I wish every spring). With a greenhouse, I could start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants from seed, rather than buying them as plants from a nursery. I’d have more choice of shape, size, color, and flavor, instead of choosing from the select few plants available locally. I could also grow lettuce in the winter and maybe even curl up in it for a catnap on cool but sunny spring days.

For many years I’ve dreamed of living off the land. I fantasize about growing and drying beans, canning and freezing fruits and vegetables for winter, and maybe even knitting warm sweaters from the wool of my own sheep. I envision rustic baskets brimming with fresh produce and a large country kitchen filled with the intoxicating scent of drying herbs and fresh baked bread. Just picturing this scene fills me with a warm, happy feeling.

Sometimes, however, dreams don’t come true because we don’t actually desire what we envision. Often, we want to want a particular fantasy because of the feeling it gives us, or we want to be the kind of person who would do or have such a thing; yet, it’s not truly our heart’s desire. Although the idea of spending my days harvesting sweet strawberries with a large brimmed sunhat and shucking corn on a covered verandah fill me with delight, I also know that I’d eventually tire of kneeling in the strawberry beds and would probably long for a night out on the town and a good manicure.

I still want a greenhouse (though I don’t have anywhere to put it), but I also wonder whether I would actually take the time to plant seeds and nurture them with the love and care they need to grow into strong, healthy plants when I could just go to the nursery instead.

Blackberry cordial? Pie? Jam? The possibilities are endless!

It can be a valuable exercise to evaluate your fantasies, desires, and wishes, and then ask yourself why they might not be coming to fruition. There are many reasons why the life of your dreams might not be manifesting, but one very probable explanation is that you actually don’t want them to. It can be beneficial to spend time thinking about the reality of your dreams. For me, the reality of living a subsistence life would mean that I probably wouldn’t have time for other endeavors, such as writing and traveling. So, subconsciously I haven’t pursued this path.

Additionally, usually at the root of our desires is a deeper emotion or feeling we’re yearning for. In my mind I’ve equated homesteading with creativity, freedom, and joy because some of my happiest memories include carefree summers working on farms and finding delicious ways to make use of the bounty in the garden. Now that I know what this dream represents, I can seek out those qualities in other areas of my life.

What are your fantasies? How would your life be different if they manifested? Do you really want them to come true or do you only want to want them? What are you really yearning for?

Bo’s Banana Maple Mystic Mini-Muffins
(Gluten-Free and Dairy-Free)

I’m attracted to living off the land because I’ve invented a fantasy in which it provides lots of tranquil time in nature and lots of time to create, which probably is quite far from the reality. There are, however, ways that I can integrate more of those qualities into my current life.

For instance, my friend, Robert Holden (author of Loveability), recently requested a Mystic Chef muffin recipe that he could make with his daughter Bo. Excited by the chance to be creative while writing a new recipe, I rolled up my sleeves, put on my apron, and got to work mixing and blending my way to muffin nirvana.

These muffins are filled with love and joy, and that is the true alchemy of food…the ability to share love while nourishing the mind, body, and spirit.

Makes 48 mini muffins

1 ¼ cup brown rice flour
¼ cup potato starch (not flour)
2 Tbsp. tapioca flour
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. sea salt
1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
2 eggs
½ cup almond milk
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
¾ cup maple syrup
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (2 bananas)
¾ cup diced walnuts
¾ cup sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

In a medium bowl, combine the brown rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a small pan over low heat melt the coconut oil. In the bowl of a standing mixer, combine the coconut oil, eggs, almond milk, vanilla, and maple syrup. Mix on medium-low until fully combined. Add the dry ingredients and mix on medium-low. Mix in the mashed banana. Stir in the walnuts by hand.

Grease your mini muffin tins. Use a small spoon to fill the tin ¾ full. Sprinkle the top with coconut. Bake until golden, about 15 minutes.

Remove the muffins from the oven and cool on a rack, in the muffin tin. When the tin is cool enough to touch, remove the muffins from the tin and cool completely.

Yes!

2013-03-09T17:00:00.001-08:00

On top of a mountain in Mexico

What if you said, “yes” to every invitation, request, and opportunity? What if instead of spending time and energy making excuses and avoiding people and experiences, you simply said, “yes”?

This is the premise of a Jim Carrey movie called Yes, Man. His character puts great effort into avoiding his friends and saying “no” to everything. He does this because it’s more comfortable to be unhappy. However, after being dragged to a self-help workshop, he makes an oath to say, “yes” to everything. From there we see how his life begins to unfold in exciting new ways.

By saying “yes,” he opens himself to an entirely new world filled with fun, joy, and adventure. By the end, however, he learns the important difference between saying yes because he wants to and saying it because he thinks he has to. “No” is an equally powerful word. Being genuine and authentic and saying “no” when that’s what you mean is vital to living a balanced life.

I was thinking about the power of “yes” last week while flying to Chicago. “Yes” can mean being willing to go with the flow and accept whatever comes your way. Often when you resist something that’s going to happen regardless, you create needless stress, discomfort, and frustration.

The green hills on the Central Coast of California

My heart was racing as I drove to the airport. I’d left my house later than planned, and I was worried I wouldn’t get there in time. As I was looking out the window at the beautiful green hills, I remembered a saying my mom taught me when I was a little girl: “Right place, right time.” I repeated it over and over again in my head. It’s an affirmation that you’ll always be exactly where you need to be when you need to be there. At that very moment, I received a call from United Airlines…my flight was delayed! Wow, going with the flow really works!

At the airport, when I approached the desk, I cheerfully announced, “It must be my lucky day, I’m the only one in line!” The man gave me a quizzical look as if to say, “Yeah, right…lucky? Ha! Your plane’s delayed.” When he told me that I’d most likely miss my connection and would have to spend four hours in Los Angeles. I said, “Well, I was wondering when I’d have time for lunch. Now, I know that I’ll definitely be able to grab a bite to eat!” Since I knew there was nothing I could do about the missed connection, I figured I might as well simply say, “yes” to the experience.

Offhandedly, I mentioned that arriving in Chicago so late would be difficult for the friend I was visiting because she has young children. Within minutes he had me booked on another airline with an arrival in Chicago only 20 minutes later than originally scheduled! I’m certain he wouldn’t have done this had I been cranky, but since I was willing to go with the flow, there was a certain grace to the events of my day.

Snow in Chicago

There are, of course, times to say, “no” and there are times to fight for your needs. I’m not advocating simply being “nice” or letting yourself be pushed around. What I’m talking about is a genuine desire to say “yes” to what is when that’s the best course of action. When you say, “yes,” you become an active participant in the adventure rather than a victim to circumstances beyond your control. And when you do so, you’ll start to notice that things begin to manifest in wondrous ways. Sometimes events actually change because of your newfound attitude, and sometimes they simply seem better because your perception and interpretation of them has changed.

Set boundaries, know your limits, and say “no” when necessary, but also practice saying “yes.” You never know what magic awaits you. Sometimes it’s a lot more fun to welcome life rather than keeping it at bay. This is something I’m still working on, but bit by bit, I’m getting more practiced and it’s coming to me more easily.

Coconut Chia Pudding with Pineapple Gelée

This is a dessert you can say, “Yes!!” to. It’s delicious, easy to make, and pretty darn healthy as far as desserts go. Last summer when my mom and I were in Washington, DC, we had a similar pudding at Le Pain Quotidien, and I’ve been lusting after it ever since. Since we don’t have a Le Pain Quotidien within 200 miles, I decided to create my own!

Serves 6

Pudding:
One 13.5-ounce can of coconut milk (approx. 1 ¾ cup)
½ cup water
2 Tbsp. agave*
1 ½ tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup chia seeds

Gelée:
3 cups pineapple juice (not from concentrate)**
2 Tbsp. agar agar flakes (not powder)***

Garnish:
Fresh berries, such as strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries
Sprig of fresh mint

*There’s new research to support that agave might not be the wonder sweetener we thought. However, I’ve chosen to use it here because the flavor isn’t as strong as honey. And since it’s liquid, it dissolves better than sugar.
**If you can find pure passion fruit nectar, it’s divine in place of the pineapple juice.
***I used agar agar flakes from Eden Foods, found at my local Natural Foods store. Agar sets at room temperature and sets faster than gelatin!

In a medium bowl, combine the coconut milk, water, agave, and vanilla. Add the chia seeds and mix well. Set aside. You’ll get the best consistency if you let it sit covered in the fridge overnight. The next day, divide the pudding between six 7-ounce, clear juice glasses. Aim to fill each glass approximately 2/3 full. Use a damp towel to wipe down the sides of the glass.

In a small pan, combine the pineapple juice and agar agar. Bring to a strong boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes (or until the agar agar is dissolved), stirring occasionally. Cool slightly.

When the pineapple mixture is cool but still not set, very gently spoon it over the pudding until the glass is nearly full (leave some room for the berries). If any chia seeds float to the top, remove them with a spoon. When firm (about an hour), top with fresh berries and enjoy! Yes!!!

Keeping the Balance

2013-02-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

Recently I was hanging out with a friend who’s the poster child for “woe is me.” According to him, no one works as hard as he does and everyone else’s life is better, easier, and more fun. The more time I spent with him, the more I began to notice myself falling into this thought form as well. When he said he did x and y, I found myself wanting to one-up him with, “Well, I do x, y, AND z.” Whether we’re aware of it or not, we tend to mirror those around us.

After meeting with him, I was embarrassed to hear myself talking to another friend in much the same way. I even caught myself whining about going wine tasting with friends when what I really needed to do was organize my tax documents. On one hand, since I have very few free days in the coming weeks, I was being responsible by setting the time aside to go through receipts; yet, I also started to wonder if perhaps I’d begun to lose my sense of balance. It’s important to take time for myself, whether it’s to taste local wine, make myself a nice meal, or spend time with family and friends.

Since my “woe is me” friend talks incessantly, mostly about how busy he is and how everyone else seems to “have it made,” he misses the opportunity to see what’s around him and recognize the many blessings in his life. His rapid-fire chatter reminds me that Mahatma Gandhi said, “There’s more to life than increasing its speed.” Interestingly, I’ve noticed the people whom my friend believes “have it made” tend to work hard, but they have the ability to slow down enough to find joy and beauty wherever they are, no matter what they’re doing. Henri Matisse said, “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” There’s always something to marvel at, but we have to be willing to slow down and look.

Take time to smell the flowers

Most of us are constantly striving, seeking, and running from place to place to accomplish the next task, reach a goal, or make ends meet. Yet, do we know what we’re running toward?

When I look at my schedule and my head begins to spin, I feel both simultaneously overwhelmed and titillated, because oddly a full calendar seems to mean I’ve reached some level of success. When I’m in the middle of it, everything I’m doing feels crucial to my success or failure, as though the world would fall apart if I didn’t respond to e-mail, return phone calls, or make every deadline. Of course, in the short term, all of this stuff is indeed important. But, beyond that, there’s a larger picture.

Perspective can be a valuable ally when striving to keep balance in your life. At the risk of sounding dramatic, if your life were to end today, would you be satisfied? What have you experienced? Are you nurturing your relationships? How have your grown? Have you made a difference? Are you living your best life in this moment? Are you enjoying the journey? How much joy and love do you experience each day?

Over the past year, my scales have been dangerously tipping out of balance, but I’m working to find my equilibrium and take time not just to smell the roses, but also to smell the soup simmering on the stove.

As a suggestion, surround yourself with people who not only support and uplift you, but also people whom you’d like to emulate. Since we tend to mirror those around us, the more you’re with people who have a good sense of balance in their life, the more peace, love, and harmony will flood your life.

***

Coconut Lace Cookies

As I'm striving to keep my balance, I’ve realized that spending time with good friends is one of the things that’s lacking in my day-to-day life. So, although my calendar is currently quite busy, I carved out a few days to go to Chicago to celebrate the upcoming birth of my college roommate’s first child. In honor of this occasion, I created these cookies for the baby shower. These dainty gluten- and dairy-free pastries seemed like the perfect sweet treat to welcome a spring baby.

Makes about 2 dozen

1/3 cup coconut oil
½ cup organic sugar (evaporated cane juice)
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
¼ cup sweet rice flour
1 cup unsweetened dried coconut

Preheat oven to 375º

In a medium bowl, cream the coconut oil and sugar together. Add the egg and vanilla and mix until fully combined. Stir in the sweet rice flour and the coconut. Roll a small amount of dough between your palms to create a walnut-size ball. Flatten it into a disc and put on a cookie sheet. Repeat. Bake on the middle rack of the oven until the outside edges are golden, about 10-12 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheet, then remove them with a thin metal spatula. Enjoy!

The Genius of Intuitive Laziness

2013-02-12T09:02:00.000-08:00

I’m a procrastinator. This is not, however, an identity that I readily welcome. I see myself as someone who gets things done and doesn’t waste time avoiding when I could be doing. But, the unfortunate truth is that frequently I put off things like taking out the trash, paying bills, and going to the gym. Why do today what I could do tomorrow, right?

In many areas of my life I’m organized and efficient, but in others I successfully postpone the inevitable. I’m discovering, however, that sometimes what we perceive as procrastination is actually our higher-self telling us that we’re not yet ready for what’s to come.

Lazy or wise?

For instance, for 26 years I’ve been meaning to see the film Babette’s Feast. Yes, that’s right. 26 years. It won the Academy Award for best Foreign Film in 1987. Although I was only 9 years old that year, adults told me I would love this film since it’s about a meal that changed lives. But I never saw it. Six years ago someone gifted me the DVD, but it remained in its original cellophane. It wasn’t a good time, I wasn’t in the mood, I already knew the story… I always seemed to have a reason not to view this movie that everyone told me I should see.

I finally saw it last night. And, of course, it was magnificent. There was a reason I’d waited so long. I hadn’t been ready. All these years of so-called procrastination were actually, in a way, an incubation period. Although I’ve always been passionate about cooking, it’s only been in the past few years that I’ve come to fully comprehend the extent that food affects us emotionally and spiritually, not just physically. As a result, the film spoke to me on a deep level. I profoundly understood Babette’s need to create and share this gift, and I fully grasped the effect her meal had on the pious puritans with whom she lived. There was a message in the film for me. But only now was I open to it.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve put something off only to realize later I wasn’t just being lazy. Instead, it turned out that intuitively I knew I wasn’t ready to open the floodgate into whatever would come next. For instance, last spring a minister friend, who knows how much I long for a family, offered to add me to her prayer wall. In order to better focus her intention, she asked that I tell her specifically what I was looking for in a life partner. You would think I would jump on this opportunity. However, I kept finding reasons why I couldn’t make the list.

My list...though now I realize it needs to be more specific

At first when she offered, I was in the middle of an intense catering job, and I didn’t want to just dash off a list without giving it much thought. Then, throughout the summer, I kept coming up with reasons why it wasn’t a good time. But then I realized…I’d been subconsciously stalling. I knew how powerful her prayers were, and on some level I knew that if I sent her the list, my man might materialize before I was ready. I’ve dreamed about finding a man for as long as I can remember, but the time hasn’t been right. I needed these years to become myself first. I feel as though I’ve been in a chrysalis stage, and I’m just now ready to emerge from my cocoon.

Are you a procrastinator? Some things just have to get done, regardless. However, other times, when you find yourself consistently and fervently putting something off, it might we worth examining why you’re avoiding it. Perhaps you’re just being lazy, but sometimes there’s a greater reason and understanding it can be powerful.

Eggs ’n Veggies

I love grocery shopping, but sometimes I even put that off. However, no matter how low the coffers get, I can almost always whip up some Eggs ’n Veggies. It’s healthy, delicious, and simple to throw together with whatever you might find in your refrigerator. I especially like using leafy greens such as kale, chard, or spinach, but roasted potatoes, steamed broccoli, asparagus, mushrooms, and even tomatoes can make a tasty meal. (Leftover spaghetti works too!) This is a healthy breakfast, but it can also be a satisfying lunch or dinner.

Vegetables
Olive oil
Eggs

If using broccoli, potatoes, or other slow-cooking vegetables, it’s generally easier if they’re pre-cooked. This dish is a great use for leftovers. Sauté the vegetables with olive oil over medium heat until fully cooked (or warmed, if using leftovers). Crack the eggs on top (two per person is a good rule of thumb). Cover. Cook until the whites are cooked and the yolks are set. Enjoy!

This is Eggs 'n Veggies with kale and roasted potatoes. Experiment to find your favorite combination of veggies.

These are eggs from my chickens who've been foraging in my garden. That's why the yolk is so orange.

The Dance Floor or the Balcony

2013-01-28T11:32:00.001-08:00

Are you the kind of person who gets groovy on the dance floor, or do you watch from the balcony?

For most of my life, I’ve been an observer. I’ve watched my life play out in front of me in the same manner that a cameraman frames the scenes in a movie. For instance, one afternoon when I was a young child, my mom spied me through the front window. I was sitting on the porch watching the neighborhood children frolic in the garden. Concerned, she ran outside to ask why I wasn’t playing with them. I told her that I preferred to watch because I didn’t want to soil my clothes. My mom, who didn’t care if I got dirty, was perplexed, but she let me be.

In high school I took up photography. Although I loved the artistry involved in taking and developing beautiful photographs, it wasn’t long before I also came to love how the lens allowed me to be one step removed from the action. As I viewed the world from a distance, I was able to be both engaged and disengaged at the same time.

Observing the world around me (photo by Denise Linn)

Being a consummate observer has many benefits. It provides a wonderful way to gain insights about people, relationships, and life in general. And, it’s much less messy. Rather than getting torn and bruised in the fray, I’m able to control my surroundings and get involved on my own terms. Standing on the balcony and gazing at those on the dance floor, however, also means that while there’s less opportunity for hurt, there’s also less opportunity for connection and belonging.

Although in my adult years I’ve made a greater effort to waltz onto that metaphoric dance floor, I still find myself from time to time climbing the stairs back to the comfort of the balcony.

Busyness is also a way that I’ve remained separate and in that comfortable place of observation. Although I want more than anything to feel connected, sometimes when a friend invites me out for a drink or a movie, I find myself declining because…I’m just too busy. It’s true. There’s a lot going on right now, and sometimes my head spins out of control trying to keep up with everything. But, the truth is, there’s always time for those we love, if we choose.

Getting groovy on the dance floor

While spending my life observing others, I’ve seen both unbridled joy and heart wrenching heartbreak in their lives. Meanwhile on the balcony, life remains pretty good. It’s safe, dependable, and controlled. To find love, however, I’m realizing it’s necessary to mingle on the dance floor. Although I don’t particularly agree with “No pain, no gain,” I understand what it’s getting at. In order to feel profound connection and unparalleled happiness, it’s necessary to play a leading role in my own life. The thought of an unknown outcome is terrifying. What if I’m not accepted? What if being vulnerable leads to something that doesn’t fit the narrative I’ve written for my life? What if it’s just too painful? And, the fear of giving up control: Who will man the camera if I transition from director of photography to leading lady in the film of my life?

Wouldn’t that little girl sitting on the porch watching the other children have had more fun rolling in the mud and smelling the sweet scent of spring flowers?

Are you an observer or a mingler? Are you on the balcony or on the dance floor? Where would you like to be? There are disadvantages and advantages to each, but sometimes we need to be willing to listen to the music and start tapping our feet in order to open the door to true happiness.

Heavenly Heart Canapés

When you’re on the dance floor, you’ll need sustenance. And since you’ll be grooving to the tunes and engaging with the people around you, you’ll want easy to eat and incredibly delicious finger foods. These are the perfect canapés for your next gathering. They are a harmonious blend of sweet, salty, and tangy. Plus, they’re gluten free!

Makes about 3 dozen

20 hazelnuts (about ¼ cup), toasted, skinned, and split in half

¾ cup brown rice flour
¼ cup potato starch (not flour)
3 Tbsp. tapioca flour
1 tsp. sea salt
1/3 cup coconut oil (in its solid state)
1 lg. egg
3 tsp. water

½ cup apricot jam
1 vanilla bean, scraped
3 oz. goat cheese

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Toast the hazelnuts on a baking dish in a 350-degree oven for 10 minutes. (While the hazelnuts are in the oven, jump ahead to making the pastry.) When the hazelnuts are cool enough to handle, wrap them in a clean dishtowel and rub. This will remove the skins. Carefully, split each nut in half.

In the bowl of a standing mixer, combine the brown rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, and salt. Add the coconut oil, egg, and water. Mix on medium-low until fully combined and the dough starts to come together. Turn off the mixer and gather the dough into a ball. If the dough is too dry, use wet hands to do this.

With your palms, press the dough into a flat disc. Place the dough between two pieces of wax paper and with a rolling pin, roll the dough until is about an 1/8 inch thick. Remove the top piece of wax paper. Use a 2-inch heart-shaped cookie cutter to make about 3-dozen hearts. Using an icing knife or thin spatula, transfer the hearts to a baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, with a sharp knife, make an incision lengthwise in the vanilla bean. Scrape the interior. Mix the vanilla with the apricot jam in a small bowl. Set aside.

Remove the hearts from the oven. Using an icing knife, generously coat each heart with the vanilla apricot jam. Put a dollop of goat cheese on top of each one. Return the hearts to the oven and bake another 15 minutes, until the jam is bubbling and the pastry is golden.

As soon as you remove the hearts from the oven, put a hazelnut (cut side up) on top of the warm goat cheese. Allow to cool. Enjoy!

Conquering Mountains

2013-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

There are some things we do because we know they work, like exercising and brushing our teeth. There are other things we do simply on faith because we hope or believe they work. Prayer is one of those things. I don’t consider myself religious and up until a few years ago, I wouldn’t have even said I was particularly spiritual, even though I was raised to believe in more than what can be seen. However, prayer is something most of us have tried at one time or another when faced with a big enough challenge.

A number of years ago I was chaperoning a group of teenagers on a cycling trip through the Swiss Alps. The route was beyond my skill and physical fitness level. And, it didn’t help that I was also recovering from the flu. As a chaperone, I was expected to pull up the rear, which meant that I—the weakest cyclist—had to stay in back in case any of the students needed assistance. This also meant that as my legs grew increasingly fatigued and felt more like pudding than the chiseled-muscle-machine they needed to be, the distance between the nearest student and my puttering bike continued to grow like a deep chasm.

The mountain stretched in front of me as far as my eye could see. Up. Up. Up. There was no end in sight. My thighs burned, my breathing was labored, and tears were threatening to stain my cheeks. All alone with nothing but the humming of bees and the occasional bird for company, I was frustrated, embarrassed, and feeling very abandoned. In a fit of utter hopelessness, I began to pant under my breath, “Please help. Please help me.”

Since we were riding through military land, only bicycles and official vehicles were allowed on this desolate stretch of road. And since it was Sunday, I had yet to even see a vehicle. But, as I begged for assistance, I kept envisioning someone coming to my rescue.

The only flat stretch of road during the entire trip

To my sheer amazement and delight, a few minutes later, a Jeep drove by. My jaw nearly fell to the ground. Although totally enamored with my good fortune, I was too embarrassed to flag it down. This was not uncommon for me at that time in my life. On a number of occasions, my prevailing shyness had prevented me from actualizing my heart’s content and speaking my truth.

So, on top of the raging anguish I was already feeling, my childhood disappointment about missing out on things because I was too timid to speak up was reactivated, further adding to my ragged state.

The Universe decided, however, to provide me with one more opportunity.

Another Jeep came along. As I hemmed and hawed about whether or not to ask for assistance, I missed my window and it passed me by. Yet, my prayers were still answered. Just as I was getting up the courage to throw my bike in a ditch and run after the Jeep, it pulled over. Before I knew it, one of the Swiss Army men grabbed by bike and tossed it in the back of the Jeep and told me to hop in. As though they sensed my reticence, they didn’t ask, they just acted. We drove up the road, climbing higher and higher. Eventually we passed the students and the other chaperone. I leaned out the back of the Jeep and waved as they stared at me, mouths agape.

When we reached the crest of the mountain, I bid farewell to the men, and then proceeded to take a nap in an Alpine Meadow while I waited for the others.

I'm on the far left with the red helmet

Even though I wasn’t sure I even believed in prayer, my intent was so strong that when I’d asked for help, the Universe provided me with exactly what I needed. Not only was I presented with the rescue I longed for, but also I was given an opportunity to work through my natural tendency to hold back. Plus, driving in the back of a Jeep with the Swiss Army is an experience I will never forget.

What in your life do you do because you know it works or know it to be true? What do you do on faith? Do you find yourself holding back rather than speaking your truth? If the Universe were to intervene in your life at this very moment, what challenges would it help you overcome? What would you learn about yourself?

Triumph Trail Mix

As I’ve been reflecting on my adventure in the Swiss Alps, I’ve been thinking about what would’ve helped me up that mountain. Not only was it physically challenging, but also it was emotionally challenging. The more distanced I became from the rest of the group, the lower my spirits. Climbing mountains—whether real or metaphorical—can be as much about working through interior limitations as it is about exterior ones.

So, I thought, What if I’d had a bag of trail mix in my pocket that gave me physical nourishment, but also contained special messages that would uplift and encourage me? Thus, Triumph Trail Mix was born!

1 cup each, raw cashews, almonds, and hazelnuts
2 Tbsp. coconut oil
salt
1 cup roasted peanuts
1 cup dried pitted cherries, such as tart Montmorency
¾ cup roasted coconut chips
5 words or phrases of encouragement, written on small strips of paper
5 of your attributes or qualities, written on small strips of paper

Preheat oven to 200ºF.

If your coconut oil is solid, warm it in a small pan over low heat until liquid. Combine the cashews, almonds, and hazelnuts in a large bowl. Toss the nuts with the coconut oil and a dash of salt until evenly coated. Distribute the nuts in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake for 3 hours. Remove from the oven and allow the nuts to cool until they’re crisp. When they’re cool, toss with the peanuts, cherries, and coconut chips. Mix in the words of encouragement.

With every handful of Triumph Trail Mix, you’ll feel increasingly uplifted. (Just don’t eat the paper!)

The Broken Circle

2012-12-30T17:19:00.000-08:00

Circles symbolize wholeness, connection, and life; however, sometimes a circle needs to be broken so that a new circle can grow into being. For instance, when identical twins are formed, one egg breaks into two equal parts. The fissure is necessary for both to thrive.

I spent the few days leading up to Christmas with my parents in San Francisco. It’s become one of our yearly holiday traditions. We eat at nice restaurants, admire the lights in Union Square, and huff and puff our way up every hill we can find.

This year, in the dark of night on the shortest day of the year, we decided to walk the outdoor labyrinth at Grace Cathedral. Many consider the winter Solstice to be one of the holiest days of the year, a time when the veil between this realm and that of the Divine is the thinnest. It’s a powerful time to focus on gratitude for the past year and ask for guidance for the year to come.

As usual, when making a wish for my future, my focus is on getting married and having children. As I followed the serpentine path of the labyrinth, I had a vision of a man and three young children waiting for me at the end. They felt so real that I could see their smiles and hear their mirthful chatter.

When my mom, dad, and I finished walking the labyrinth, we stood for a moment in silence and held hands, sending our prayers into the ethers. Similarly, before meals my family usually holds hands and says a blessing. For years, I’ve imagined a fourth person (my husband) at our table, and I imagine holding his hand and including him in our prayer. For a moment at the labyrinth I was tempted to imagine the man and the children from my vision joining our circle. But then, in a flash, I realized that I’d been going about it backwards.

Instead of including a man in our circle, I needed step away from the tight circle I’d created with my parents and join the man and the children waiting near the labyrinth. So, while holding my parents’ hands, I imagined myself releasing their hands and rejoining the palms of my mom and dad together. They would in effect be creating their own circle. I then pictured myself forming a circle with my future husband and children.

As 2013 is beginning, I’ve been thinking about what I want for the coming year and how I’m going to make it happen. No matter how much I say I want a family, at this point, I haven’t really made room for it because the bond I have within my current circle is so strong that it would be difficult to penetrate. Just like with the example of the twins, letting go and forming a new circle doesn't diminish the first, it just makes a second one that’s equally strong.

Are there things in your life that you want but can’t seem to reach? Consider changing your approach. As we step into this New Year, spend time opening your heart and being willing to receive guidance from above. If it hadn’t been for the time I spent quietly walking the labyrinth, I wouldn’t have had this powerful realization.

I wish you a new year filled with joy, love, happiness, and of course…good food!

Egg in a Nest

As I venture forward to create my own circle, I carry with me all the love, joy, and delight I’ve experienced over the years. When I was a little girl, my mom used to cut circles in the center of bread and fill it with a fried egg. It was one of my favorite breakfast treats. Whatever you call it—Toad-in-the-Hole, Egg in a Basket, or something completely different—it has great symbolism. When you cut the hole in the bread you’re in effect creating two circles, the one in the bread and the one removed from it. And, the egg represents yet another circle.

Sliced bread
Eggs
Butter or Earth Balance

Using a sharp knife cut a circle in the center of each piece of bread. Carefully butter both sides of the bread. Do the same with the circle that you’ve removed from the bread—when it’s pan-fried it’s one of the tastiest bits. Melt a bit of butter in a skillet over medium heat. Put the bread in the skillet. When the underside is golden brown, turn it over and crack an egg into the hole (circle). When the bottom half of the egg is cooked, flip the bread, careful not to break the yolk. Continue to cook until the egg white is set and the yolk is cooked to your preference. As you enjoy this childhood favorite, consider thinking about the many circles and cycles in your life.

Everyday Magic

2012-12-15T10:25:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I saw the most incredible rainbow of my life. I’m not known for superlatives, but it was the biggest, brightest, and longest-lasting rainbow I’ve ever seen.

I’d been cooped up in the house all day answering e-mail, paying bills, and organizing paperwork. Needing a change of scenery, I grabbed my keys and headed to Target for a new bathmat.

Just as I was wondering whether I should swing by the bank first, I looked up and there it was…the most incredible rainbow I’d ever seen. Most of the day had been sunny and other than a few dark clouds in the late afternoon, there was no sign of rain. But, there it was…a magnificent, luminous rainbow filling the sky.

Everywhere I looked there were cars pulling off to the side of the road. I thought, Wow, they see it too. How wonderful that we’re all reveling in nature’s majesty! But then I noticed that one woman was unloading groceries, another was checking the air in her tires, and a man was picking up his kids from daycare. None of these people had seen the rainbow, or if they had, they were too focused on what they were doing to give it more than a passing glance.

Although I was completely enraptured by the light show in the sky, I realized that I hadn’t pulled over either. I was sure that at any minute the sky would fade back to gray and the rainbow would become just a memory. So, I continued.

The rainbow, however, wasn’t fading. So, for a better view, I made a rapid right turn and gunned my car up the steepest hill I could find. Nearby, I noticed an old Buick filled with an equally ancient couple. I was certain that they too were admiring the rainbow, but it turned out that they thought I was lost and had stopped to offer me directions.

This experience reminded me of one of my favorite moments in The Little Prince. The eponymous little prince is talking to the switchman at a train station, and he asks him where the people in the trains are going in such a rush. “‘They are pursuing nothing at all,’ said the switchman. ‘They are asleep in there, or if they are not asleep they are yawning. Only the children are flattening their noses against the window-panes.’ ‘Only the children know what they are looking for,” said the little prince.”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, especially with the holidays right around the corner. For me the holidays are a time to slow down and revel in the magic of the season. Unfortunately, as an adult I’ve lost some of my childhood wonderment. Most days I’m glued to my computer, trying to keep up with everything. It’s so easy to get caught up in what seems important instead of what’s truly important.

The truth is…there is majesty around us all the time. Just because the woman with the groceries or the man waiting for his kids didn’t look up to see the rainbow, doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. And just because I’m racing to and fro trying to make a dent in my “to do” list, doesn’t mean that there isn’t beauty surrounding me everyday. I just have to be open to it. Matisse said, “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

I want to be the kind of person who drops everything in order to spend a few minutes gawking at a magnificent rainbow. I want to be like the children in The Little Prince with their noses pressed against the window. Every day we make choices about what we do and how we live. Even the things that don’t feel like a choice are indeed still a choice. So, I ask…is there anything on your “to do” list so important that you can’t spare a few minutes absorbing the majesty of a rainbow?

********

Magical Chocolate Cupcakes with Peppermint Frosting

(Gluten and Dairy Free)

What better way to savor the season than with a decadent, moist chocolate cupcake! I don’t purport that they’re healthy, but I guarantee they’re delicious. These cupcakes are especially great for those who want to indulge in holiday treats but don’t eat gluten or dairy. However, they’ll be a standout at any magical holiday gathering, especially if you bake them with love.

Generally, I try to avoid long lists of ingredients, particularly ones that call for a small amount of items you wouldn’t otherwise have in the cupboard. For this recipe, however, it turns out that the cultured coconut “yogurt” and the small addition of potato starch and tapioca flour make a huge difference in the overall texture of the cupcake. I’m so sorry. But, I promise…it’s worth the effort.

Make 1 dozen cupcakes

Chocolate Cupcakes:

½ cup canola oil
2 oz. chopped bittersweet chocolate, such as Valrhona
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
¾ cup brown rice flour

3 Tbsp. potato starch (not flour)
1 Tbsp. tapioca flour
½ tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. xanthan gum
2 large eggs
¾ cup evaporated cane juice
1 tsp. vanilla extract
½ tsp. sea salt
½ cup cultured coconut milk “yogurt” (plain or vanilla)*

*If you can't find coconut milk "yogurt," substitute 1/2 cup almond milk curdled with 2 tsp. lemon juice.

Preheat oven to 350ºF and position rack in center of oven. Line a cupcake pan with cupcake liners. Set aside.

Combine the oil, chocolate, and cocoa in a double boiler (or small heatproof bowl) over barely simmering water. Whisk until smooth. Set aside until just warm.

In a small bowl, combine the rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, baking soda, baking powder, and xanthan gum.

In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs with the sugar, vanilla, and salt. Whisk in the cooled chocolate mixture. Add the flour and cultured coconut “yogurt” and mix until smooth and fully combined. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

Bake 20 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool on a rack until the pan can be touched safely. Remove cupcakes from the pan and cool to room temperature before frosting them.

Peppermint Frosting:

¾ cup non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening, preferably Spectrum Organic*
1 cup powdered sugar
¼ tsp. vanilla extract
¾ tsp. peppermint extract
1 Tbsp. water
1 candy cane, crushed

*Most palm oil comes from Asia where orangutan habitat is rapidly being destroyed. Spectrum Organic, however, gets theirs from Colombia from small, sustainable farms.

Whisk the vegetable shortening in a standing mixer on medium-high until soft. Add the sugar and mix on medium-low for about 20 seconds. Add the vanilla, peppermint, and water and whisk until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Unwrap the candy cane and place it in a Ziploc bag. Smash it with the back of a wooden spoon. Frost the cupcakes and then sprinkle the crushed peppermint candy on top.

(If making in advance, store frosting tightly covered at room temperature. It will become too hard if refrigerated.)

When God Closes a Door He Opens a Window

2012-12-02T12:58:00.000-08:00

A peach is ripe when slightly soft. A melon is ready when its perfume fills a room. And, milk has a “sell-by” date. But, matters of the heart are not so simple. How do we know when we should turn right instead of left, or when we should keep fighting and when we should look for a new direction? We were born into this world without an instruction manual or even a legend (like on a map) to decipher the signs that propel us on our path.

Many of us are familiar with the expression, “When God closes a door he opens a window.” Sometimes, though, he doesn’t just open a window, he rips the roof right off what we thought was possible, making way for something far better.

The Caribbean

Last night I dreamed I was applying to universities and had been rejected from every single one. However, hidden underneath the pile of rejection letters, I found a small envelope offering me a free ride to a school in the Caribbean, even though I hadn’t even sent in an application. In my dream, when I went to visit the tropical island that was home to the university, as I stepped off the plane, I inhaled the scent of plumeria and heard the gentle sea breeze rustling the palm fronds, and I realized that this far surpassed the experience I would have had at the other schools.

This dream was not totally out of the blue. Eight years ago, nearly to the day, I applied to PhD programs in French literature at Stanford and Berkeley. I didn’t particularly have a burning desire to be an academic or even a professor, but up until that point I’d either been in school or teaching school since the age of five, so it seemed like a logical step after receiving a masters degree in French Cultural Studies.

I still remember exactly where I was standing when I read the rejection letters.

Enjoying an afternoon hike in Switzerland

Now, when I look back on this, I’m filled with so much gratitude. That thin piece of paper that said, “we regret…blah…blah” opened the door to a completely different life. I quit my job, moved to Switzerland, and began to step out of my comfort zone.

A PhD in French literature at Berkeley and Stanford generally take seven to nine years, which means that just about now I’d be receiving my degree. When I look back on the myriad experiences I’ve enjoyed, the people I’ve met, and the personal growth I’ve had, it seems hard to imagine that had I been accepted at one of these schools, I would still be wedged into a collegiate office analyzing Sartre and Camus. I have no doubt I would have been satisfied had this been my life, but I don’t think I would have been particularly happy. I just didn’t know it at the time. Thank goodness the powers that be—either the people in the admissions office or the Almighty himself—knew to send me in another direction.

If you’d asked me back then if I thought I’d be doing what I’m doing now, in a million years, I wouldn’t have guessed that this would be my life. And, you know what? This is so much better than what I’d dreamed up for myself eight years ago.

My life is so much better than I could have dreamed

This is not the first time this has happened. Often when I dream of my future, I’m stuck within the confines of what I already know. Even when I dream big, it’s still based on a present version of myself. It’s only when I’m willing to let go of the reigns and ride the wave of life that I can end up somewhere so much more miraculous than I could have ever imagined.

Although I’m still mired in my search for love and don’t yet have the luxury of hindsight, I imagine ten years from now I’ll look back and think, Thank God things didn’t work out the way I’d hoped, because this is so much better. The challenge, however, is being willing to let go enough so that when doors keep closing, God can swoop in and rip off the roof, or at the very least open a window.

What in your life is better because you didn’t get what you thought you wanted? How would your future be different if you allowed for alternate routes?

****
Rainy Day Soup

I love grocery shopping, but sometimes I get so caught up in work that my cupboards get pretty bare. Opening the refrigerator on those days can be disheartening, especially when I’m really hungry. However, as though God has opened a window, when I look deeper into the inner sanctum of my kitchen, I can usually find ingredients for a hearty soup. And soup always feels so satisfying and nurturing. One of the great things about making soup is that some of the best creations happen when I let go of the need for my soup to turn out a particular way, and I give in to the contents of my fridge. This is a delicious soup for a rainy day. Use whatever you have on hand and see what culinary magic you cook up!

Serves 8

2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 lb. carrots, peeled and chopped
1 whole celery, chopped
½ green cabbage, rough chopped
1 large bunch Italian parsley, chopped
1 28-oz. can diced tomatoes in juice
10 cups water
½ cup cider vinegar
½ cup lentils
salt and pepper, to taste

In a large stockpot (at least 6 quarts) over medium heat, sauté the onion and garlic with the olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper until the onions are soft and translucent, about 5-10 minutes. Meanwhile chop the carrots and celery and add them to the pot. Chop the cabbage and parsley and add them to the pot as well. Stir frequently to make sure nothing sticks to the bottom. Add the diced tomatoes, water, and cider vinegar, and another small pinch of salt and pepper. Increase the heat to medium-high. Once you attain a gentle boil, reduce the heat to maintain a simmer. Cover and gently simmer for about an hour. Add the lentils, cover, and simmer until the lentils are soft, about 45 minutes. Add salt to taste. Enjoy on a cozy rainy or snowy day!

Accepting What Is

2012-11-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been lost? The kind of lost that works its way through your arms and legs and all the way to your core? Tightness grips its fingers around your heart and massages the pit of your stomach. This can be felt both when you’re physically lost or metaphorically lost. I’ve experienced both kinds…I’ve been lost in the wilderness, and I’ve been lost in life, especially when searching for love.

When I was in high school I went for a hike to an alpine lake with some boys I knew. Somewhere at the base of the mountain we unknowingly veered off the trail and continued for hours straight up a slippery, wet, leaf-strewn cliff. Eventually when we realized our mistake, it was too late. We were already cold, wet, and quite lost.

We wedged ourselves into the hillside underneath some large firs to eat our lunch. My fingers were so chilled I couldn’t even zip my coat. Fear and frustration were doing a tango in my head. But then one of the boys said… “You know…this is not exactly how we’d planned this hike, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now and there’s no one else I’d rather be with.” His musings jolted me out of my grumpy state.

Despite everything, we were actually having a good time (Not to mention I had a huge crush on one of the boys…). We were inhaling crisp mountain air, feeling the earth beneath our feet, and laughing and joking with each other.

Sliding and tumbling down the face of the mountain on our rear ends, we eventually found the trail that led back to our car. As if to affirm what I’d already learned that day, we saw a bumper sticker that said, “I’d rather be… right here.”

When I get myopically focused on a goal, destination, or dream, I remind myself of this hike and the bumper sticker. The Universe works in mysterious ways and sometimes our lives don’t fit into the neat and tidy packages we picture, and we don't always reach our destination. However, when we accept what is, often there’s even more magic. Had the boys and I stayed on the trail and made it to the lake, I have no doubt I would have forgotten the hike ages ago. Instead, I have fond memories of the adventure, and the experience showed me the value of finding joy in every moment. Plus, I’ve heard you feel the most alive when you’re lost.

This is true in love as well. Just like trying to reach the elusive mountain lake, sometimes we focus so much on the goal, that we miss the journey. It’s easy for me to get caught up in finding a man who fits a certain image. However, when I give up the need to find what’s perceived as right, then I open the door to allowing for what is actually right.

I have a friend who’s a devout Catholic who fell in love with a non-practicing Jew. She’d always imagined marrying a man with whom she could pray and who had an intimate relationship with God, but he was neither. This, she thought, was non-negotiable. She considered not dating this man, but her feelings for him continued to grow. They married a few years later and now have two beautiful children. Had she focused on the lack of religion in his life, she could have missed out on a lifetime of joy with him. Although her planned trajectory was jolted in a new direction, she found long-term happiness when she was willing to release her hold on her vision of the future.

As I’m stepping out of the cocoon I created for myself this past year and opening my heart to finding love, I’m also opening the door to the possibility that love may come in a different package than what I imagine. By being open to love, no matter what form it comes in, it’s possible to find something even better than what I could ever dream.

Whether your destination is a mountain lake or finding lasting love, remember to savor the journey and be willing to accept the things that don’t always fit with your vision, plan, dream, or goal.

***

Acceptance Green Beans

This Thanksgiving, consider accepting what is…If Great Aunt Maude ruffles your feathers or your husband and father-in-law argue over the correct way to cook the turkey, take a deep breath and let it wash over you. You may find that when you look back on your life, these are the moments you cherish most, not the perfectly laid table or whether or not you dusted every nook and cranny before your guests arrived.

This is a simple side dish that’s always a holiday favorite in our home.

Serves 4

3 Tbsp. olive oil
3 large shallots, thinly sliced
1 ample Tbsp. of orange zest
1 lb. green beans, trimmed
1/3 cup roasted slivered almonds
3 Tbsp. fresh orange juice (from zested orange)
Himalayan pink salt, to taste (or other high quality salt)
Fresh cracked pepper, to taste

In a large frying pan, sauté the shallots and orange zest in the olive oil over medium heat. Add a pinch of salt and pepper. Sauté until the shallots are soft and translucent and slightly caramelized, approximately 10 minutes. Adjust the temperature as needed to keep the shallots from browning too quickly. Meanwhile, wash and trim the green beans. Add them to the pan and increase the heat a smidge. Using a spatula, toss the beans constantly to keep the shallots from burning. When the green beans are soft, turn off the heat, about 5 minutes. Toss with the slivered almonds and another pinch of salt and pepper. Just before serving, drizzle the fresh orange juice over the beans. This will add a bright note to the dish.

Opening to Love

2012-10-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

A while ago, I read in a magazine that a woman’s fertility drops dramatically at age 35, which sent a river of panic coursing throughout my body.

I turned 35 two weeks ago.

To celebrate my birthday, we planned a family trip to Monterey. We booked a room in a beautiful hotel overlooking the sea, made reservations at a nice restaurant, and planned a refreshing and rejuvenating day at the hotel’s spa.

During the worst of the abdominal pains

Just days before my birthday, I was overtaken by crippling abdominal pains, and we had to cancel our trip. Instead of walking on the beach, eating fresh fish tacos on the seawall, and kayaking in the bay, I spent my 35th birthday in bed, fasting.

This may have been an unfortunate coincidence; however, the timing is suspect…

For the past 12 months I’ve been in a dead-heat run, barely slowing enough to notice the changing seasons. As a result of the intensity of my schedule and a need for a fresh start, I decided about a year ago that I would take a hiatus from dating, giving myself time for my work and time to explore other facets of my life. Throughout this busy year, I’ve felt as though I’ve been standing on the precipice of my future. Not too far in the distance, I can see my life beginning to unfold.

In the summer, as the sun blazed and I forged full steam ahead in my professional life, I told myself that in the autumn when my catering season came to a close, I would open my heart to finding love. In the past, I’ve looked for love, but I don’t know that I’ve actually been ready to find it. Opening myself to the possibility of love is both exhilarating and terrifying. It’s easy to become comfortable with the way things are. Even when we dream of life being different, the thought of actually allowing for our dreams can be pretty scary.

My summer sunflowers now dried and golden

So…just as my life was slowing enough for me to notice the longer shadows and cooler nights, my life got put on hold and I pretty much slept through my 35th birthday.

Although I believe that viruses, bacteria, and other environmental factors cause illness, I also believe things happen for a reason. We can’t necessarily separate our physical selves from our emotional selves. I’ve always loved my birthday, and I’ve never had a thing about age or getting old. However, the idea that my fertility could drop as much as 10% each month after my 35th birthday has been a source of anxiety. Even though I know many women who’ve had children in their 40s, and I know deep down I can have the life of my dreams, I can’t say that my 35th birthday wasn’t mixed with both excitement and trepidation.

Opening myself to love can be scary. It’s easy to dream. It’s harder to let go and allow for whatever could happen. My life is really good right now. Sure, I want to get married and have children, but stepping out of the comfort of what is already familiar and good takes courage and a willingness for things to get shaken up for a while. Although I yearn for more, I’m used to my life (and it’s a good life). I have my own systems, routines, and ways of doing things. Welcoming a man and eventually children means being open, not only to falling in love, but also to the current trajectory of my life taking a turn. When I open my heart, I also open my life to the possibility of change.

By acknowledging my fear, I’m taking one step closer to finding love. It might not be easy, but I’m ready to try.

On the precipice of my future...

An English teacher at my high school said in a graduation address: “Our lives run and fly somewhere between a few certainties and the mysterious and improbable. One day you turn left instead of right and everything changes; your life makes great gravitational shifts at weird, improbable moments, and to be alive is wonderful...To be alive is to be torn and bruised, broken and bored, as well as gratified and delighted.”

Allowing myself to be vulnerable might scare me to pieces and I might end up torn and bruised, but also I might find gratification, delight, and ecstatic happiness.

What’s holding you back from realizing your dreams? In what ways can you open yourself up to the possibility of magic?

Marriage Proposal Chicken

In college while the other students were subsisting on pasta and Lucky Charms, I cooked elaborate meals. On one occasion, I invited some friends over for roast chicken and garlic-mashed potatoes. At the end of the meal, an attractive male friend leaned over and told me that if I ever wanted a man to propose, I should prepare him this chicken.

Roast chicken is one of the easiest dishes to make; yet, it can be quite elegant.
Who knows…maybe it will one day lead to a marriage proposal.

Serves 4-6

1 organic free-range chicken
1 lemon, cut in half (or an apple, quartered)
a few sprigs of rosemary
2 Tbsp. olive oil
Himalayan salt and fresh cracked pepper

Preheat oven to 350º F.

Put the chicken—breast side up—into a roasting pan lined with parchment paper. Gently squeeze the lemon over the chicken and then put the squeezed lemon halves inside the chicken. Fill the remaining space with the rosemary sprigs. The lemon and rosemary will infuse the meat.

Drizzle the olive oil over the chicken and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Bake on the middle rack of the oven for approximately 1½ – 2 hours, until either the juices run clear when pierced with a knife or when the internal temperature reaches 165ºF on an instant read thermometer.

Let the meat rest at least 10 minutes before cutting. Enjoy!

My “I’m Too Busy” Mantra

2012-09-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

I used to be a good friend. I used to remember birthdays, organize gatherings, and send handwritten letters. I was the queen of dinner parties, always the “hostess with the mostest,” and I made a point of keeping up with the goings on in the lives of my closest friends and acquaintances alike. If I was going to a wedding, I had a meaningful gift picked out well in advance, and when a dear friend was having a baby, I often made the newborn a hand knit hat or even a sweater.

One of my hand knit baby sweaters

In the past few years, however, all of that seems to have changed. If it weren’t for Facebook notifications, I probably would’ve forgotten a number of birthdays and missed a few important events. I was the last to know when a dear friend quit her job and moved across the country, and I was surprised to learn that my neighbors were getting divorced. And now when I receive birth announcements, sometimes my first thought is she was pregnant?

Age hasn’t necessarily made me more forgetful, and I don’t think I’ve become indifferent, callus, or even inured to the ups and downs in the lives of friends and family, it’s more that I’ve taken on a new identity. I still care just as much as I used to, but somehow the role of “busy person” seems to have superseded that of “good friend.”

I’m constantly playing a script over and over in my head that says, “I’m too busy. I’m too busy.” But am I really too busy?

Sure, my life has changed tremendously in the past few years. Balancing a number of different projects while working on The Mystic Cookbook has been an amazing, though intense, experience. As a result of the hours spent testing recipes and writing and rewriting text, my dog has gotten fewer walks and my garden has more weeds, but I wonder whether this could really account for my drop in status from “good friend” to “somewhat mediocre friend”?

Molly hoping for a walk

When I was a schoolteacher, I worked really hard. But, I had specific hours when I was “at work” and specific hours when I was “at home,” which allowed for me to have a clear separation between the two worlds. Having summer vacation, of course, allowed for time to knit baby sweaters and languidly stroll on the beach with friends. However, I don’t think this in itself accounts for my new “I’m so busy” mantra.

This is what I’ve discovered: I am really busy. Sometimes my “to do” list makes my head spin out of control, but also I’ve taken on the identity of “busy person” because it gives me a sense of importance. Somehow this state makes me feel accomplished and successful. But, I want to change that. By reinventing my outlook, I still might not have enough time to knit a sweater, but I could at least create enough time to pick up the phone and call a friend just to say “hey” or arrange to meet for a glass of wine.

Do you ever find yourself sounding like a broken record? (In my case it’s the “I’m too busy” soundtrack I keep hearing.) Does it empower or deplete you? What is the underlying reason? Does it make you feel important, successful, accomplished? How would changing it change your life? For instance, when I turn “I’m too busy” into “I have all the time I need,” I open the door to not only getting my work completed on time, but also the possibility of being the friend I want to be. Sure, my “to do” list will still be long, but the feeling of “too much to do” won’t inform how I interact with others.

Enjoying the company of good friends

The I’m-Really-Busy-But-Still-Want-to-Eat-Well-Lunch

Even when I’m really busy, I try to make time to eat well. I find that when I sit down and enjoy a good meal, my heart rate slows, my breathing becomes deeper, and my muscles begin to relax. Although I sometimes feel as though I only have time to eat at my desk, the truth is that when I take a few minutes to sit at the table, I enjoy my food more, and I’m actually more productive when I head back to work.

Making yourself a quick lunch that will nourish you body and soul need not be a lengthy process. In the time it takes to heat up a frozen meal in the microwave, you can create a healthy, delicious, and satisfying antipasto/crudité plate.

Here are some suggestions:

Sliced heirloom tomatoes
(with a sprinkle of fleur de sel salt)
Sliced bell peppers
Sliced avocados
Peeled and sliced cucumbers
Olives
Hummus
Salami, prosciutto, or other favorite charcuterie
Canned fish (tuna, salmon, or even sardines)
Goat cheese or other favorite cheese
Crackers

Lately, since my garden is at its peak right now, I’ve been eating a lot of raw vegetables, but if you want to make your meal a bit heartier, add cheese, charcuterie, canned fish, or hummus. You may even want to drizzle extra virgin olive oil over your vegetables. Be sure to take a few minutes to arrange everything beautifully on the plate. This extra step feeds the senses and nourishes the soul. Plus, it will actually make you feel more satisfied! Enjoy!

Living Your Truest Self

2012-09-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

Mt. Fletcher reflected in Fletcher Creek

Recently, while reading a novel about a woman reunited with the daughter she gave up for adoption 18 years earlier, surprisingly tears welled in my eyes and tightness gripped my chest. Although it was an entertaining read, it wasn’t particularly memorable or well crafted—more the type of book you read on vacation, forget you ever read, and then buy again a few years later. However, there was something that struck a deep chord within me that I couldn’t quite figure out, since I’m neither adopted nor have I given a child up for adoption.

Mother and Daughter

But then I realized… For most of my life, even though I don’t yet have children, I’ve pictured myself as a mother. Although it wasn’t particularly glamorous or sexy, my friends in high school nicknamed me Mother Meadow since I was always taking care of everyone. For some reason, I’m the person that babies smile at in the grocery store and young children seem to gravitate toward.

Even though I will never intimately know what it’s like to place a child for adoption, I closely identified with both the mother and daughter in the story. My mother and I are very close, and I feel the role of “daughter” deeply. And, although I don’t yet have children of my own, as a schoolteacher I spent many years in a mothering role. So, I realized that although I don’t personally know what it’s like to be adopted or to choose adoption for your child, I could deeply empathize because both “mother” and “daughter” both clearly shape my identity.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re doing what’s in alignment with your identity that you feel a much deeper connection and everything seems to just flow?

A Pointy Peak in the Yosemite High Sierra

A few weeks ago I went on a 5-day guided hut-to-hut backpacking trip in Yosemite National Park. Although the trip had been months in the planning and was quite expensive, I nearly cancelled a few days before. It seemed that everything that could go wrong had, and I wasn’t sure that I would physically be able to do it. Due to piles of work and being sick, I hadn’t been able to train for the rigorous hike. My new boots were stiff, and I was concerned about the heavy pack aggravating my sciatica, not to mention being prepared for the high altitude.

However, just as I’ve always identified with the role of “mother,” I’ve also felt equally at home in the wilderness. Although it’s been years since I’ve been able to backpack (due mostly to the sciatica), as soon as I reached the mountains, I felt alive and full of vigor. As we embarked on the hike, I felt strong and vital and found myself maneuvering around boulders and scaling cliff-like mountains with ease. Having spent a great deal of time in the backcountry in my teens and twenties, I was instantly in my element. My identity as an “outdoorsy” person had been reignited. As a result, not only was I able to tackle the mountains and absorb their powerful energy, but also because I was living in accordance with my true self, I even had extra energy, which allowed my nurturing side to shine. I was able to help some of the others and even bandaged a wound.

Meadow Enjoying the Meadow

We are at our very best when we’re living in accordance with our identity. When we embody our truest selves, we feed our soul and feel most alive.

What makes up your identity? Are you living in such a way that you’re feeding your soul? How would your life be fuller and richer if you lived in alignment with the way you see yourself? Believe it or not, the more you feed who you truly are, the more easily things come to you. I tackled the mountains because I see myself as someone who tackles mountains. Here’s to living our truest version of ourselves!

One of the Most beautiful Meadows I've Ever Seen

Romaine Heart Sandwich

The people who run the High Sierra Camps in Yosemite graciously offered to provide me with gluten free meals, for which I was immensely grateful. I was, however, a bit dubious when I heard that my daily sandwich would be a “lettuce wrap” since I didn’t think it would provide me enough energy to scale the mountains. But, the sandwiches they created by stuffing the interior of a Romaine heart were clever, delicious, and satisfying.

You can make this sandwich with whatever filling you choose, but this is what I ate in Yosemite…

Makes 1 sandwich

• 1 heart of Romaine lettuce, one or two inner leaves removed, but keep the stalk intact

• Sliced turkey, ham, chicken, or any other favorite deli meat

• Sliced cheese

• Vegetables: sliced tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, and/or cucumber

• Mustard and mayonnaise (optional)

Assemble the sandwich by filling the interior of the Romaine heart with your favorite goodies and enjoy with good friends and beautiful scenery.

Summer Is Delicious

2012-08-22T13:41:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago when I was in bed with the flu, I found myself being jealous of the people on Facebook posting about their summer adventures. Even little things like a photo of a homemade smoothie or a mention of a walk with a dog elicited envy. I wanted what they had. I wanted to experience the carefree feeling of summer, to swing for hours under a grand, old oak tree, dig my toes into the sand at the beach, and wipe the sweat from my brow as I sliced, diced, pickled, and preserved the bounty of a summer harvest. Instead, I had succumbed to a bowlful of cough drops and endless hours of Netflix.

Garden Bounty

As I looked out the window at my garden filled with sun-ripened tomatoes, rotund eggplants, and colorful greens, as I heard the kids next door running through the sprinkler, and as I smelled my neighbor’s charcoal grill, I felt left out. Time was passing; yet, stuck in bed, I wasn’t able to experience summer’s bounty.

As I began to get better, the world seemed filled with increased possibility, and I realized that summer is not just a season; it’s also a mindset. Summer is about freedom. In the summer, we hit the open road with the music blaring, the windows down, and our hair blowing in the wind. In the summer, we go barefoot and wear cut-off jeans. We can spend an afternoon watching water bugs at a creek and not feel like we’re wasting time. And we can go with friends to a concert under the stars and drink from a seemingly endless supply of beer. In the summer anything and everything feels possible. As we stand on top of a mountain, our arms spread wide, or look at a peach tree laden with juicy, ripe fruit, we can practically hear the wind whispering in our ear that we can do and be anything.

Arms Wide Open, Feel the Expansive Energy of Summer

When I was finally able to exchange the vitamin C and zinc lozenges for a crisp sauvignon blanc and crunchy cucumbers from my garden, I realized that I can create summer whenever I want. By being sick, I hadn’t actually missed out on as much as I’d thought. Sure, I got behind in my work and had to set aside plans to go hiking, but there are still so many ways that I can experience the season. Summer is not just about the warm weather and long days. It’s about feeling expansive and free (a big reason why being stuck in bed felt so confining). Sharing meals with friends and savoring the moment can be done whether it’s 105 degrees outside or only 15.

I’ve discovered that there is a powerful way to ignite the feelings of summer, whether it’s mid-August or late December. Believe it or not, food can be a catalyst for immersing yourself in the mindset of a specific season. When you eat a meal dedicated to the energy of summer, you fill your belly with not only the foods of the season, but also the way that season makes you feel. By creating such a meal, you will be inviting increased joy, expansiveness, and freedom into your life.


Summer at the Beach

***

Caprese Salad Skewers

Summer is romantic picnics in the park, backyard barbecues with family, and casual gatherings with friends. And for me, it wouldn’t be late summer without colorful heirloom tomatoes and fresh herbs. Caprese is a favorite Italian summer salad, but put it on a decorative toothpick, and suddenly you have an elegant (yet simple) appetizer for any summer gathering, no matter how fancy or how impromptu. Take a bite and welcome the energy of summer into your life.

Makes 12

12 decorative toothpicks (about 4-inches long)*

24 cherry tomatoes (from 1 10-oz. pkg.)**
24 ciligiene, cherry-sized balls of fresh mozzarella, (from 1 12-oz. tub)
36 small leaves of fresh basil

Extra virgin olive oil
Aged balsamic vinegar
Himalayan salt

*Available at party outlets and some well-stocked grocery and liquor stores. I found mine at World Market.
**In the photo I used sun gold heirloom tomatoes from my garden, but any variety will work.

Plan two tomatoes, two mozzarella balls, and three basil leaves per skewer. Alternately layer the tomatoes and mozzarella on the toothpick and place a folded basil leaf between each one. Once they’re all assembled on a platter, lightly drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and sprinkle with salt. Buon appetito!

Note: For more information about eating the energy of the seasons, see The Mystic Cookbook by Denise and Meadow Linn (Hay House, November 2012)

Make Plans for Who You Are Now

2012-08-10T11:57:00.001-07:00

Imagine that you could do anything, go anywhere, and have anything you desired. What would you do, where would you go, and what would you get?

The other night during a family dinner, my mom, dad, and I decided to each start making a list of our 100 biggest dreams, imagining that money were no object. I was surprised to discover how many of the items on my list I could actually make happen with a bit of planning and ingenuity. It turns out that in many cases, the thing that’s stopping me from making certain dreams a reality isn’t money or time (I’m a good saver, a great bargain hunter, and have a somewhat flexible work schedule); instead, it’s the fact that I don’t know what my life will be like a few years from now.

I frequently find myself bumping up against this wall. It’s the “I-don’t-know-if-I-should-make-plans-because-what-if” conundrum. For instance, one of the things on my list is going to the Olympic Opening Ceremonies and attending some of the sporting events. Although the tickets to these events come at a steep premium, I probably could figure out a way to make some—if not all—of the dream a reality. However, attendance at the Olympics is not like a vacation you can plan a few months in advance; it can take years to secure tickets, flights, and accommodations. There’s this nagging voice in my head that says, “You don’t know what your life will be like then…“What if you’re married, and you don’t have a ticket for your husband? What if you have a baby and can’t travel?” What if… What if… blah… blah…

Enjoying a cuddle with a friend's baby girl

The truth is, we never know what the future holds. A million things could potentially happen tomorrow that would dramatically alter the course of my life in completely unforeseen ways. So often we postpone joy in anticipation of something either good or bad that could happen in the future. Of course, there is a potential that I could be nine months pregnant when the next Olympics rolls around, and I’d have to give up my tickets, but there’s also a high probability that my life will be pretty similar to what it is now.

If I constantly make decisions based on a possible future, I’m not only denying myself joy, but also I’m anchoring the idea in my subconscious that future dreams, such as getting married and having children, preclude others from coming to fruition. When we make plans for the person we are today and live in the moment, we open doors for more joy, both in the present and in the future. Imagine if I had made plans to attend the Olympics and then found myself as the nursing mother of triplets with a job that didn’t allow for time off. I’d either find a way to go to the Olympics, or I wouldn’t. But why put off the possibility of joy simply because I think a potential future might be at odds with the plans I make today?

What are your biggest dreams? What’s keeping you from pursuing them? What would you gain by living in the present and making plans for who you are now? How would your life be different?

Soar like an eagle!

****

My cat thought these looked so tasty she took a bite after the photo was taken

Live-in-the-Now Banana and Almond Ice Pops

In general, I’m not a “dessert-first” kind of woman. I actually relish the anticipation and build up to the evening meal’s finale. However, in honor of not postponing joy, I’ve been enjoying this banana ice pop at every chance I get. On a hot August day it’s a delicious (and healthy) way to feed that afternoon craving. And as a smoothie, it makes a tasty breakfast. Plus, if you’re like me and always seem to have a pile of ripe bananas in your freezer, this is a great way to use them. (Although I haven’t tried, I imagine it would work just as well with fresh bananas.)

Banana Almond Ice Pop

Makes 8 (3-oz.) ice pops

2 frozen bananas
¼ cup raw almonds
¾ tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. agave (omit if your bananas are really ripe)
1 ½ cups almond milk, original flavor

Combine all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Pour into an ice pop mold and freeze until firm. Or, enjoy as a smoothie.

Parting the Clouds

2012-07-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

There’s always sunshine above the clouds. Even when all you see is a thick, gray, impenetrable mass, just on the other side, the sky is blue.

Last week while on vacation in Alaska, my friend and I went on a flightseeing tour of Mt. McKinley. When they loaded us onto the 8-seater, twin-engine prop plane, there was a damp chill in the air, wind was blowing sideways, and rain kept threatening to test the durability of my new raincoat. I was certain they were taking us for a run for our money. How could we possibly see any sights during such a storm? As we lifted off and the wipers on the front windows swish-swished to keep up with the falling rain, I admit, I said a few prayers.

The rain pounding on the windshield of the twin-engine prop plane

When we were high in the sky, absorbed by clouds, the pilot pointed to a tiny patch of blue above us at about 11,000 feet.

“You see that? We’re going to fly through it.”

I said another prayer. He aimed the plane for the blue hole, and like a rabbit into its warren, we charged through the opening in the clouds and arrived in a sparkling, glistening world filled with glorious mountain peaks, puffy white clouds, and the brightest sun imaginable. It was so magical I think I even saw a few angels. Simultaneously, I felt both extreme peace and overwhelming exhilaration.

For so much of my life, dating has felt like I was stuck beneath the clouds. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed I couldn’t find my “forever man,” or when I thought I had, it would turn out that I was not his “forever woman.” I’m realizing, however, that there’s always sunshine, sometimes it just takes some effort to get there. Although I haven’t yet found “the one,” there’s been value in the time I’ve spent beneath the clouds. I’ve needed this time to experience the many facets of my life and explore the different routes to find bliss.

"Co-piloting" our adventure through the clouds

I’m aware of the sunshine waiting for me above the clouds, but I’m not yet ready to find the patch of blue and make a beeline through it. There’s still a lot I want and need to do beforehand. If I’d met my Prince Charming a few years ago, I don’t know that it would have been the right relationship for the long run. I’m still in the process of figuring out who I am and what I want to be. The life I lived ten, five, even two years ago is very different from the one I’m living now. The man who would have fallen in love with me then, might not be the same man who would fall in love with me today. Of course, we all continue to grow and change, and my essence is still the same, but the work I do now and the demands on my time are different. Even some of my interests and values have shifted.

In this period of transition, I feel myself taking off, like the airplane, heading for unknown territory. As soon as I figure out where I’m heading, I’m feeling pretty confident that the clouds will part to reveal my little patch of blue sky, and the man of my dreams will be waiting for me on the other side.

The glistening, shimmering, magical world above the clouds, as seen from the plane

What is it that you’re yearning for? Is it a relationship, a home, a job, a vacation? Are you really ready for it? If there were something you needed to do, become, release, or accomplish before you could have this thing, what might it be? Even if your conscious mind doesn’t have a clue, imagine that you did know…what would it be? Here’s to finding our path and spreading the clouds to see the blue sky and shimmering sunshine above!

Mt. McKinley, North America's tallest mountain

***

Grilled Sockeye Salmon

The wild lands and frigid seas of Alaska are inextricably linked in my mind with salmon. While traveling in Alaska, I had some delicious wild salmon; however, none I enjoyed quite as much as this one.

This is one of my most asked for recipes. It’s not uncommon to hear, “Usually I don’t like fish, but this salmon is incredible. What did you do?” The truth is…this is a simple recipe. The secret is high-quality, fresh fish cooked with love.

Sockeye is a red salmon, and though it tends to be slightly dry, it’s very flavorful. The addition of olive oil ensures the salmon stays moist and delicious. For best results, use wild salmon; this dish will not taste the same with farmed salmon.

Serve with the dill rémoulade on the side. With boiled potatoes and corn on the cob, this is a summer feast you’ll return to again and again.

Serves 4-6

Salmon
2 lb. filet of wild Alaskan sockeye, skin on
¼ cup olive oil
2 lemons, one juiced and the other washed and sliced into thin rounds
Himalayan pink salt
1 very small sweet onion (such as Vidalia or Walla Walla), peeled and sliced into thin half moons

Preheat a gas grill to high.

Line a baking sheet with multiple layers of foil, making sure that the foil layers are at least a few inches longer and wider than the filet of salmon. Place the fish skin side down on the foil. Fold up the edges of the foil and crimp them to prevent any liquid from escaping.

Drizzle the olive oil and the lemon juice over the salmon. Use a small spoon to “baste” the salmon with the oil and lemon juice that pools on the sides. Sprinkle the salmon with salt. Evenly distribute the thinly sliced onions over the fish. Lay the lemon slices on top of the onions in a neat row (the thinner they’re sliced the better, as they’re meant to be eaten with the salmon).

Reduce the heat on the grill to medium. Transfer the fish and the foil to the grill (the baking sheet is just to help with transport). Grill until the fish is slightly firm and no longer red. It’s important, however, not to overcook the fish since sockeye can be dry if cooked too long. Depending on the heat of your grill and the thickness of the filet, it should take about 10-20 minutes.

To serve, use a metal spatula to loosen the salmon from the skin (which should be stuck to the foil). With a spatula in each hand—one on either end of the filet—gently lift the salmon (minus the skin) from the foil and transfer to a platter.

Dill Rémoulade
1 cup mayonnaise
2 Tbsp. dried dill (use fresh if available, but use more since the flavor is less concentrated)
3 Tbsp. lemon juice (from two lemons)
3 cloves garlic, crushed
pinch of salt
1 or 2 Tbsp. capers (optional)

In a small bowl, mix the mayonnaise, dill, lemon juice, garlic, and salt. I usually can’t help but dip in my fingers, potatoes, or whatever is available. Yum!

Welcoming “Weird”

2012-06-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

What happens when “weird” becomes normal and “normal” becomes weird?

I was the weird kid in elementary school whose lunch bag had almond butter and honey “sandwiches” on rice cakes instead of bread, brown rice and vegetables instead of pizza, and seaweed (nori) cut into fun shapes instead of candy. I took my own tofu ice cream to birthday parties and drank water instead of soda. My Easter chocolates were made of carob and when other kids were watching music videos on MTV, I was more likely to be found looking for fairies in the park. My childhood was wonderful, but it was not typical by any stretch of the imagination.

When I started at a new school in 6th Grade, I really wanted to be like the other kids, who primarily came from wealthy and traditional families. I spent many years trying to be “normal” and as a result lost a lot of the innocence that allowed me to see fairies and even recount details of a past life as French royalty. I began shopping at the Gap and matching my t-shirts to my socks. I wore polo shirts and penny loafers and begged my parents to make rules and give me a curfew.

Most teenagers are embarrassed by their parents at some point; however, I had real reasons to be, or so I thought. My mom taught classes on sensuality and traveled the world doing past life regressions to hundreds of people at a time. She wasn’t your typical mom who baked cookies and drove the soccer carpool for sure, though she often did those things. Confessing that my family was weird and owning our differences seemed like a surefire route to non-acceptance at the exclusive private school I attended between 6th and 12th grade, so I became like everyone else and even began to question whether I really had seen fairies and whether reincarnation could really be possible.

I feel like this sprout growing into a new version of myself

Three years ago when I quit my “normal” job and started working closely with my mom, the most remarkable thing happened. What had seemed normal before started to seem kind of weird and what had seemed weird became rather normal. No matter how hard we might try not to, we define ourselves by the people around us. When everyone in my life suddenly was what one might call “weird,” that became my normal. During the two and a half years that I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve watched myself become increasingly comfortable sharing about where I’ve come from. In many ways, I’ve come full circle and am now returning to the person my parents raised me to be.

There’s something liberating about not only not denying your roots, but also welcoming them into your life. The amazing thing is that the more I’ve relinquished my need to be normal, the more the positive response has been from others. The truth is…no one is normal. We’re all weird in our own ways. Most people feel awkward or different at times in their life. However, the more you can be truly genuine and share from the heart, the more people will gravitate to you. This is what I’m learning.

Although I’m still unlikely to announce to my neighbors the myriad ways that I’m “weird,” I accept who I am and where I’ve come from, and as a result, I’m opening the doorway into the magic that life has in store for me.

In what ways are you weird? Do you own this? Even if you don’t, consider finding small ways to share your authentic self with others. It might be hard at first, and some people might not agree with you but in the end, you may discover a miraculous feeling of freedom and joy floods your life. Here’s to welcoming weird!

Hijiki with Carrots

A dish for welcoming your true self

One of the advantages of having grown up “weird” was that I was introduced to many different foods as a child, all of which I adored. I learned a deep appreciation for health foods and cuisines from distant lands. Taking nori to school was certainly not hip in the early 1980s like it is now.

I love all forms of seaweed. Hijiki is one of my favorites, and it’s especially delicious with carrots and this soy ginger sauce. Eat alone or serve with steamed rice and grilled fish. This is also a great dish for Halloween to put a healthy spin on the typical orange and black cookies and candies.

Serves 6

2 oz. dried hijiki seaweed*, soaked for 30 minutes
4-5 carrots, peeled and shredded

Sauce:
1 tsp. finely grated ginger
3 Tbsp. sesame seeds
4 tsp. toasted sesame oil
¼ cup tamari
3 Tbsp. rice vinegar
3 Tbsp. mirin**
1 Tbsp. agave

1 tsp. vegetable oil

*Available in Asian markets and from online retailers
**Japanese cooking wine, available in well-stocked supermarkets, natural foods stores, and Asian markets.

In a large bowl, soak the hijiki for 30 minutes, or until soft. Drain and rinse. Peel and shred the carrots. Combine the ingredients for the sauce in a small bowl. Thinly coat the bottom of a large skillet with the vegetable oil and turn to medium-high. When the oil is warm, add the carrots, hijiki, and sauce. Sauté until the carrots are slightly soft and the hijiki is warm. Enjoy!

Releasing Control

2012-06-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

A honeybee enjoying some nectar in my garden

Have you ever noticed how life has a way of gently nudging us to become better versions of ourselves?

The theme for me lately has been “letting go.” In all its wisdom, the Universe continually finds opportunities for me to practice relinquishing control and trusting that everything will work out anyway. In many aspects of my life I’m easy going and willing to roll with the punches; however, in other parts of my life, I’m very particular and want things done a certain way.

Since I’ve been too busy (or injured) to do everything myself the past few months, I’m finally getting the hint that I have to learn to delegate, which is something I’ve been working on since high school.

High school graduation

In my teens I believed no one else could do things exactly the way I wanted them to be done. So, I volunteered for every committee at school, and even though I wasn’t on student council, I became an honorary member and attended every meeting. I was so busy that I literally ran from place to place. One day while moving briskly through his classroom, a favorite teacher cornered me and told me I needed to slow down. Although his comment was somewhat offhand, it has stayed with me and has been a guiding force throughout my life. It was the first time I realized I needed to open myself to the possibility of magic unfolding without orchestrating it.

I spent the spring semester of that school year at a boarding school on a farm in Vermont. Since I was with all new people, I decided to try an experiment. I didn’t volunteer for a single committee, project, or event. Even when students were invited to make Sunday brunch for the community, I shied away from that as well. For four months, I gave up control and trusted my fellow classmates to plan fun weekend activities and coordinate projects. It wasn’t easy at first, but once I settled into it, it was so relaxing (and fun!). And honestly, my classmates did a much better job than I would have—that was truly eye opening. By not constantly trying to organize everything, I was finally able to be a part of the group and simply enjoy. This experience when I was 17 years old showed me that it was possible to let go; however, now 17 years later, I still find myself falling back into this old pattern.

A few weeks ago, unwilling to give up control by asking for help, I developed bursitis in my right knee by pushing myself too hard. The inflammation was so painful that I could barely walk, let alone kneel to plant my vegetable garden. Hiring someone to help wasn’t particularly easy for me to do, but I also knew that if I wanted to have a bountiful summer garden, planting couldn’t wait until the swelling in my knee subsided.

My recently planted vegetable garden

With a diagram in hand of where I wanted each variety of vegetable to go, I pointed and directed as the man I’d hired placed each plant, seed, and irrigation dripper. He did a good job; yet, I still found myself wishing he’d planted some things closer together and others farther apart or some seeds deeper and others shallower. Regardless, I’ll end up with a delicious cornucopia of fruits and vegetables, but I’m still coming to terms with the fact that the garden isn’t planted exactly as I would have done it (despite my diagram).

There’s majesty when we release expectations and a need for control, and so that is my vision for myself. My name, after all, is “Meadow,” and meadows are places in nature that grow wild and free. As I look at the things in my garden that don’t exactly fit my plan, I’m going to remember that beauty exists in nature whether or not it’s controlled by me.

What patterns and challenges do you find keep surfacing in your life? Is the Universe nudging you to do something that you keep ignoring? Consider taking one step today (no matter how small) in that direction. I promise it will be less painful than bursitis!

A meadow in Yosemite National Park

Popcorn for Letting Go

Not long ago, once again, I pushed myself to the limit and as a result found myself taken down by a cold. I decided to let go of controlling the situation. Instead, I loaded a movie on my iPad, got in bed with a big bowl of popcorn (I don’t usually eat in bed), and luxuriated in the seeming decadence of spending an afternoon in such a manner. I hope you enjoy this popcorn as much as I did.

Popcorn, popped in an air-popper
Olive oil
Grated Parmesan cheese
Chili flakes (optional)

Unfortunately, popcorn air-poppers are a bit of a relic these days, but they make the tastiest and healthiest popcorn. Once the corn is popped, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese and chili flakes. This is so good, you might even find yourself licking the bowl.

Becoming Me

2012-05-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

The Supermoon on May 5th

In one of my favorite songs from my teen years, Dave Matthews asks, “Could I have been anyone other than me?”

Lately I’ve begun wondering whether or not I really could have become anyone other than me. A tree branch, I believe, best represents the path our lives follow. Each decision we make takes us in a specific direction that continuously branches and grows based on our choices and circumstances. However, I also believe that there are forces greater that guide and point us toward being more ourselves.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have ended up here no matter what. Maybe destiny is like a powerful magnet that keeps pulling us toward ourselves. Even in my earliest years, I was already showing signs of the person I am today. For instance, nearly every memory I have is connected to food in some way. It seems, even as a little girl, my mind new to catalog food-related memories and hold onto them for safekeeping. In high school, when the other girls were boy-crazed, I was more passionate about finding the right ingredients for a specific dish or concocting just the right flavor combination. Although I loved books enough to double major in French and English literature in college, I hardly remember any of the novels I’ve read; yet, I can recount meals from years ago in intimate detail.

The twists, turns, and forks of the tree branch of our lives

The other day while pan-frying shrimp, my mind was suddenly flooded with memories of being in New Zealand with my mom when I was young girl. We got dinner a few times at a hardly-memorable takeout Chinese restaurant; yet, when I was frying the shrimp, the scent of the batter meeting hot oil ignited a memory of that restaurant I didn’t even know existed. Although I was frying shrimp (not chicken) the image of their lemon chicken covered in yellow sauce was so vivid I could actually taste it, even though I haven’t had that particular dish in probably 25 years.

Although I feel like I’m a different person today than I was 20, 10, even 5 years ago, at the core I really haven’t changed that much. Despite the myriad of experiences I’ve had over the years, the things I loved as a child and have kept in my memory are still the same things I love and remember today.

I talk a lot about wanting to fall in love, get married, and have a house full of happy children cooking by my side and frolicking in a bountiful garden. But, I’m also realizing that sometimes the twists and turns on the tree branch of life don’t always go where we expect them to go.

My garden, a good place to frolic!

I’m not giving up the idea of happily ever after; yet, I also have the sense that perhaps the path to my destiny is different from how I’ve envisioned it. The more I become me, by delving further and further into a world where tastes, scents, and flavors reign, the more at peace I feel. The truth is: I could have become anyone other than me, but it wouldn’t have felt as right. I’ll always be the girl whose memory is intertwined with everything she eats. For the moment, bliss for me is found at the farmers’ market searching for the perfect peach and writing recipes to share with you. For so long, I’ve focused on the lack in my life. But, the more I become myself and the more I look forward to watching my current destiny unfold, the more full my life feels. Lack only exists if I allow it.

It seems that the closer we are to becoming ourselves, the less we yearn for the things we don’t yet have. I still want a family, but I feel so content being where I am now that I no longer feel it tugging at my heart. Perhaps this is what it means to become yourself.

Destiny Shrimp

These are the shrimp I was making when my memory suddenly took me across the globe and through time to vividly experience a moment from my childhood. These shrimp launched the feeling that I’m finally becoming me. Here’s to following your destiny, whatever it may be!

Serves 2-4

Tartar Sauce
3 Tbsp. finely diced yellow onion
2 tsp. white vinegar
2 Tbsp. sweet pickle relish
½ cup mayonnaise
a dash of hot sauce, such as Cholula or Tapatio

In a small bowl, combine the diced onion with the vinegar. Stir in the pickle relish. Mix with the mayonnaise and top off with a dash of hot sauce. Cover and refrigerate while preparing the shrimp.

Pan-fried Shrimp
1 lb. lg. shrimp (20/35 count), peeled and deveined
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup sweet rice flour*
½ tsp. sea salt
about 1/3 cup vegetable, canola, or peanut oil for frying

*Sweet rice flour is also called “glutinous rice flour,” but does not contain gluten. It makes a batter that’s light and crispy. It can be purchased at Asian markets and natural foods stores.

Beat the eggs together in a medium bowl. Add the shrimp and mix to combine. On a plate or in a pie pan, toss the sweet rice flour and salt together with a fork.

There’s a neat and a messy way to batter shrimp. I prefer the later; it’s more fun and much faster. With your clean hands, grab three or four egg-covered shrimp and put them in the flour. Use your fingers to completely coat the shrimp with flour. Set the battered shrimp on a clean plate (it’s best if they don’t touch one another). Repeat.

Generously coat the bottom of a 12-inch frying pan with oil and heat on medium-high. To test if the oil is hot, drop a small piece of batter into the pan. If it sizzles pretty heartily, the oil is hot. If it begins to smoke, it’s too hot. Adjust the temperature as needed. Use tongs to place the shrimp in the pan. Cook the shrimp in 2 to 3 batches. It’s best if there’s room around each shrimp in the pan. Cook until golden brown, about 1 to 2 minutes per side. When cooked, place them on a plate lined with a paper towel. Enjoy immediately.


The messy but fun and fast way to batter shrimp

Destiny Shrimp

No sooner than the shutter clicked on my camera, I devoured this shrimp. Yum!

Owning "I Don't Know"

2012-05-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

After rambling to a woman on the phone the other day, I finally stopped myself, took a breath, and said, “Actually, I don’t know.”

I’m trying to teach myself to say this more frequently. There’s power in owning the words, “I don’t know.” But, it’s taken me many years to learn this. The irony is that every year I learn more, but also the more comfortable I feel saying, “I don’t know.”

When I first started teaching 11th Grade French, I was only a few years older than my students. By not saying, “I don’t know” or more specifically, “je ne sais pas,” I thought I would seem more knowledgeable and more “teacherly.” I feared that admitting I didn’t know all the answers would somehow make me lose respect, though, now years later, I’ve learned that it’s actually the opposite.

My classroom (for younger children) a few years later

A French essay is generally divided into three parts: thèse, antithèse, synthèse (thesis, antithesis, synthesis). When I first learned this, I was shocked that you’d mention a counter-argument, but surprisingly this actually strengthens your point, because it shows the reader you’ve considered all sides. Similarly, when you become comfortable with acknowledging when you don’t know something, the more people will begin to trust and believe what you do say.

My grandfather was a self-proclaimed expert on everything, and although he knew a lot about a number of things, he also made up a lot. He thought this made him seem more intelligent. Unfortunately, the opposite was true. Had he admitted every once in awhile that he didn’t have all the answers, we would’ve listened more intently to his stories and respected him more.

Over the past few months, as I’ve made a concerted effort to say, “I don’t know,” I’ve become much more aware of how often I ramble, only half answering questions. Bit by bit, I’m learning to stop myself and admit when I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t even know that I don’t know the answer until I’m already halfway into what I’m saying. I’m trying to take more time to think and reflect before speaking and ask myself, “Is this something I know or do I just think I do?” This, I believe will help me step even further into my power and will help others from having to listen to needless words.

The next time you catch yourself talking in circles or making stuff up, consider asking yourself if saying, “I don’t know” would serve you better. It might be hard at first, but the more comfortable you become with this phrase, the more power it assumes. Obviously, we can’t answer, “I don’t know” to every question, but why not start admitting when we don’t know something? You might be surprised to discover that you actually feel more knowledgeable when you’re willing to accept that you don’t know everything.

“I Don’t Know Beans” Beans

A few months ago, I bought a bag of dried Christmas Lima beans at a farmers’ market. Not knowing much about them, I chose them primarily for their beauty. I decided recently to finally cook them. Had I known how good they were, the package certainly wouldn’t have lasted in the cupboard for so many months. They’re nutty, reminiscent of a chestnut, but with the texture of a potato. I adore all beans, but these might be the best I’ve ever had (and I’m not one for superlatives). Even my mom, who doesn’t care much for beans, thinks these are pretty darn delicious. They’re tasty on their own but even better when tossed with onions, fresh herbs, and a simple vinaigrette.

Christmas Lima beans can be found at some farmers’ markets and specialty markets, or from online gourmet retailers.

2 cups uncooked Christmas Lima beans (approx. 4 cups cooked), soaked overnight
½ cup very thinly sliced (or shaved) red onion
1 cup chopped Italian parsley
¾ cup crumbled feta cheese
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
salt and cracked black pepper

Soak the beans overnight. Drain and rinse them. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, add the beans and boil until the beans are soft, approximately an hour and half. Drain and rinse. Toss the beans with the onions, parsley, and feta. Drizzle with the olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and toss to combine. Add salt and pepper to taste. (If you’re making this in advance, reserve the feta and parsley and add just before serving.)

Create Your Own Good Fortune

2012-04-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

Notice where the rainbow ends...my roof!

Yesterday I cradled a cup of warm tea between my palms while thunder clapped, wind howled, and rain fell from the sky in torrents. It was as though God had opened the valves on all the faucets in Heaven. Just before evening, however, the rain stopped and there was stillness in the air. The sky remained black, but everything seemed to be bathed in shimmering, golden light. Rainbow weather!

I grabbed my camera and ran outside. There were two vibrant arcs in the sky, one on top of the other. The brightest one reached across the width of the sky and seemingly landed at the roofline of my cottage. The end of the rainbow was my house! The pot of gold must be in my back bedroom. A shiver of excitement coursed through my body. What good fortune did this portend?

Lightning, viewed from my front porch

A few hours later, I received some very good news. A large payment I had to make would be a third of what I’d been told originally! The sun had barely set, and I’d already become hundreds of dollars richer. The pot of gold really was hidden beneath the floorboards of my home.

Recently, a friend told me that prayer should be like a grocery list. When you go shopping, there isn’t any doubt that you’ll get all the items. The list is simply a reminder of the things you need. When you approach your life with the same firm belief and intention as your grocery shopping, magic will unfold. Although I’d been concerned about the payment, the moment I saw the rainbow shining down on my home, I knew that blessings were coming my way. I didn’t doubt that good fortune would befall me, just as one doesn’t doubt coming home with eggs, if they’re on the shopping list.

I’m discovering that the more you know something to be true and not just want it to be so, the more likely it will become reality. When my mom and I were writing The Mystic Cookbook, we wrote many more words than dictated by our contract. Upon completing our first draft, we began slashing whatever was unnecessary. Despite our best effort, when there were only a few days left until our deadline, we still had too many words. But, we couldn’t find anything else to cut or refine.

Rainbow Blessings Pop

Every night before bed, I visualized our publisher telling us they liked the manuscript so much that they’d accept the current word count. I confessed this to some friends who happen to be well versed in publishing. Not wanting to get my hopes up, they assured me this was nothing but a pipedream. They said there was no way the publisher would bend on what was in our contract.

My mom and I delivered the completed manuscript to our editor with the caveat that we’d further reduce the word count during the revision stage. A number of weeks later, I leapt out of my chair and shouted when we received an e-mail from our editor. She said she really enjoyed the manuscript, and… the additional words had been approved. It was practically verbatim to what I’d been visualizing. Even though people had told me this wouldn’t happen, I continued to believe it was possible. And guess what?! It did.

When you see a rainbow ending at your roof, you can remark that the sun is reflecting off particles of moisture in the air giving the appearance that it’s touching your home, or you can take this as a sign the Heavens are blessing you. When someone tells you something isn’t possible, you can agree with them, or you can continue believing in your dreams. Often our prayers aren’t answered in the way we imagine, but if you approach your future like a grocery list and believe you can manifest your dreams, there’s no doubt you will. Even the darkest, most powerful storm will eventually be followed by sunshine. Here’s to believing in magic!

Rainbow Blessings Pops

You don’t have to wait for a rainstorm. You can bring rainbow blessings to your home anytime you want.

Choose an assortment of fruit, cut into bite-size pieces, and line them up on a bamboo skewer. You could even consider briefly grilling them to caramelize the sugars in the fruit. (If you grill them, be sure to soak the skewers in water for 20 minutes beforehand to prevent them from burning.)

Consider the following fruit:

Red: strawberries, watermelon, raspberries, red apples, pitted red cherries

Orange: oranges, apricots, nectarines, peaches, mango, cantaloupe, papaya

Yellow: pineapple, yellow apples, banana, mango

Green: green grapes, kiwi, honeydew melon, green apple

Blue/Indigo/Violet: blackberries, blueberries, pitted dark cherries, purple grapes

Be the Bard of Your Own Life

2012-04-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a stranger and, without even knowing it, made judgments about who you assume them to be? I do it all the time. Perhaps it’s a woman at the supermarket, or maybe it’s a young man who speeds recklessly on the freeway.

I might analyze the contents of the woman’s grocery cart and create a story about her life based on what she’s buying. If she’s overweight, I might assume certain things, but in reality I don’t know anything about her. Maybe she has an underactive thyroid or takes a medication that packs on extra pounds. And the man speeding in the red sports car, who I might call a “jerk,” could be on his way to the hospital to join his wife, who’s in labor with their first child. Perhaps he’s scared, and doesn’t know if he’ll make it in time.

From a very young age, my mom taught me, “You Don’t Know the Whole Story.” It’s possible the guy is just driving too fast, and he might even be a jerk, but there could also be underlying reasons for his actions, just as with the woman at the grocery.

I tell myself stories all the time. Sometimes it’s about strangers and sometimes it’s about things in my own life. Dating seems to bring about some of my most elaborate tales, usually to my own detriment. Often, when I don’t hear from a man after a seemingly good date, I think, Oh, well. Better luck next time. But, other times, I find myself searching for an explanation. These stories, unfortunately, can quickly spiral out of control. Awhile back, a date (that I was really looking forward to) was cancelled at the last minute. When we didn’t reschedule right away, the yarns began to be spun…

I told myself he changed his mind because I talked too much and wasn’t a good listener. I even worried the fried potatoes I ordered had been a turn off. Crazy, I know! I also fabricated a story in which he Googled me and found something (what? I didn’t know…) that scared him off.

The challenge with making up tales is that they can easily grow, like adding kerosene to a fire. What starts out as, “I’m disappointed the date was cancelled” can expand into… Where did I go wrong in my life? Why can’t I find love? Maybe I’m not meant to find lasting companionship. Blah blah!! These questions ultimately serve no purpose. The truth is…I didn’t know why we weren’t able to reschedule. Often, the truth is the simplest and the least painful. In this particular situation, it turns out the man was just really busy. It actually didn’t have anything to do with me.

The stories we tell ourselves, however, can be a powerful tool to becoming more compassionate and creating increased harmony. In many cases, we won’t ever know the truth, but we have control over the stories we write.

You’re the bard of your own life. You can choose to tell yourself stories that uplift you or ones that bring you down. You can choose tales that show compassion or ones that judge. When “I don’t know” isn’t enough, create stories that bring you joy. Magic will abound as a result!

You Don’t Know the Whole Story Cauliflower Puree

How many times have you passed over the cauliflower at the market? Just like with people, we don’t always know the whole story about the foods we eat and those we ignore. Cauliflower is loaded with vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients. And, believe it or not, when pureed it has a delicious story to tell. A friend, who’s a wonderful chef, inspired the following recipe. Serve this instead of mashed potatoes at your next meal, and see what judgments you can dispel about this humble vegetable.

1 cauliflower, cut into 1-2 inch chunks
1 clove garlic, crushed
2/3 cup lowfat cottage cheese
2 Tbsp. olive oil
scant ½ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. coarsely ground pepper
2 Tbsp. chopped fresh chives (optional)

Bring a pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, wash and cut the cauliflower. Add to the boiling water and cook until soft, approximately 10 minutes. Drain. While the cauliflower if cooking measure and prepare the other ingredients.

Put the drained cauliflower into a food processor fitted with a steel blade and process until smooth, approximately 1 minute (scrape down the sides as necessary). Add the remaining ingredients, and blend until smooth and combined, approximately 15 seconds. Serve immediately while still warm.

Feel Your Dreams

2012-03-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

A bubble I blew on a sunny afternoon a few days ago that feels dreamlike to me

This morning I spent an hour on the phone with Verizon Wireless to undo an erroneous charge.

Although this was not how I planned to start my day, it helped me realize something about my approach my life. As I dialed Verizon, I asked myself, “What do I want?” Once my intention was clear, I was able to pursue it with determination. Yet, I wasn’t attached to the outcome, which kept me calm and focused. I wanted my account credited, but I knew I’d be okay if it didn’t happen. After talking to four different people, however, I eventually got it.

While on hold and listening to elevator music, I started to think about how I’m more effective at manifesting smaller desires (like the Verizon credit) than I am with my bigger dreams. For instance, since I was a little girl I’ve imagined getting married and having a family, but that dream has yet to come to fruition. Although it’s a very real dream, my intention is not as razor sharp as it was with Verizon. I’m also quite attached to the outcome, which can impede me from being objective and at peace with whatever happens.

As much as I’ve yearned to have a family, this dream has always felt distant. I say that I want to fall in love and I picture going to the park with future children, but it feels like make-believe. I’ve always thought it would happen someday, but believing and feeling are quite different. When I called Verizon today, I knew what it would feel like to get my desired result, which helped me manifest it. However, having never been in the kind of relationship I envision, I find it challenging to set my intention as keenly as it needs to be.

My cat Calliope meditating on her future dreams

I’ve known for years that one of the most effective ways to bring more love, abundance, success (whatever it is you desire) into your life is to truly feel what it feels like to be and have those things. For instance, if you want to be more prosperous, donate to charity, volunteer your time, and treat yourself to something special. In other words, do things that make you feel abundant, and abundance will begin to flood your life. Unfortunately, I’ve had difficulty feeling the relationship of my dreams. I’ve had an inkling for awhile that this was preventing me from manifesting love, but a blind date a few weeks ago changed that.

The man I met for the blind date far exceeded my expectations in every possible way. There are a few things in his life that don’t necessarily fit into my neat and tidy “wish list” for my perfect relationship, but part of my journey this year is releasing attachment to having one fixed vision of my life and instead allowing new versions of my dreams to be realized, which who knows…might lead to something even better than originally imagined!

Meeting this man finally allowed me to feel my dream. After multitudes of fizzled dates and short-lived relationships, I’d started to think that perhaps the kind of relationship I sought just wasn’t in the cards for me. A number of months ago, I began the process of reconfiguring my dream and even started considering alternative ways of having children. Meeting this attractive man, however, who’s strong and successful yet kind and thoughtful, made me believe that my future is possible. Perhaps this man came into my life for this express purpose, or perhaps our acquaintance will grow into something more. That story is yet to be written. Regardless, he’s changed my life in a powerful way.

Whatever your dreams—a refund on your cellular data plan, finding the love of your life, or something all together different—set your intention, release attachment to the outcome, and feel it with all your might. My mom calls this “act as if.” Act as if your future is already a reality and believe it or not, once you truly feel your dreams, they do indeed come true.

Squash growing in my garden last summer (on the left)

Courgettes à l’Estragon

(Zucchini with Tarragon)

Food can be a potent ally when “acting as if.” If you want to be more abundant, for example, create a dinner party and fill the buffet with an abundance of dishes or dine on elegant and refined foods that represent a wealthy lifestyle. Or, if the wind is whipping and the rain is pounding, crank up the heat, put on your flip-flops and eat summer foods. Instantly, you’ll begin to feel the joy of summer’s long days and languid afternoons.

Last weekend, we were having an intense rainstorm, so I grabbed some zucchini and roasted it with tarragon and pretended it was midsummer and my garden was overflowing with summer squash. I made enough to have leftovers, but I ended up eating it all!

Serves 2-4

4 zucchini (1½ to 2 lbs.), cut into 2 in. sticks
2 Tbsp. French tarragon, rough chopped
2 shallots, sliced
4 tsp. olive oil
salt (such as Himalayan pink or coarse French sea salt)

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Wash and cut the zucchini and put on the baking sheet. Combine with the tarragon and shallots. Drizzle the olive oil over the zucchini and sprinkle with salt. Toss together to evenly distribute the olive oil. This is easiest done with your (clean) hands. Bake for approximately 1 hour.

From "Looking" to "Finding"

2012-03-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

Like the hummingbird, sometimes I find myself flapping my wings really hard only to discover I'm standing still

One day when I was about 13, my mom hollered to me, “Come on! Let’s go find a home.” The house we’d been renting was being sold from under us and my parents had unsuccessfully been looking for a place to buy for months.

As if guided by a greater force, my mom drove across town without really knowing where she was going. We ended up in Greenlake, a pretty neighborhood with an urban park and lake. When we parked the car, we immediately noticed two houses side-by-side, both for sale. Although neither was perfect, they both fit our needs.

Our house in Greenlake in the early 1990s

After touring them both, my parents ended up purchasing the one with the smaller lot but larger living space. We lived in that house throughout my high school and college years, and when I think back to my childhood in Seattle, this is the house I remember. As soon as we stopped looking and started finding, the right house appeared.

It’s the same with dating. I haven’t found my Mr. Right because I’ve only been looking, which has suited me quite well. I’m a champion looker. For example, it takes me days, sometimes even weeks, to plan a vacation. I leave no stone unturned while searching for the cheapest airfare and the best hotels. And now that my parents are property hunting again, I’m on Zillow and Craigslist every night looking for their new home. I send them listing after listing, simply because I love the pursuit. Although I’ll be happy when they find something they love, I’ll also probably feel a bit bereft because I won’t be able to look anymore.

For all my moaning about wanting to fall in love, get married, and start a family, I think I’ve actually been in love with the process of looking. I don’t think I was necessarily ready to find. Although I’ve been saying for years that I want to settle down, I’ve enjoyed how being on my own has made it easier to travel, move from city to city, and even test out a few different careers.

Always looking

Plus, I even think blind dates are kind of fun. I revel in adventure, and I love having a good story to tell. My Internet blind date escapades have made for great stories, which I’ve used to regale many a crowd. Additionally, I’ve enjoyed the role of online dating “expert” and helping friends navigate the world of creating a dating profile and connecting with strangers.

Over the years, I’ve often used my location to explain why my ideal match and I haven’t found each other. For example, I reasoned that the men I met when I lived in Maine were too outdoorsy, the men in Los Angeles were too citified, and the ones here in Paso Robles were too country, but the truth is…you can find the love of your life anywhere, when you’re ready to find.

I like being autonomous, and I enjoy the pleasures of living alone, but also my heart yearns for a family. Change seems to be in the air, and I think part of my transformation this year will include moving from the place of looking to the place of finding. I’m ready!

If, like me, there’s something in your life you’re yearning for, such as a relationship, a home, or a new job, consider giving up the search. Change your mindset. Go on the offensive and find, just as my mom and I did with our house so many years ago. Miracles will abound!

Here's to finding your heart's desire! May miracles abound!

Barbecued Bangkok Chicken with Green Sauce
Serves 2

I wanted to share a new and exciting recipe with you, but it seemed the more I looked, the less I found. So, I decided to change my approach. I opened my refrigerator and rather than looking, I decided to find just the right ingredients. This is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Marinade:

1/3 cup sweet chili sauce

1 Tbsp. fish sauce

1 Tbsp. lime juice

2 tsp. tamari

1 tsp. sugar

1 pkg. (1-1½ lbs.) boneless, skinless chicken thighs

Green Sauce:

1 cup roughly chopped basil

1 cup roughly chopped cilantro

3 cloves garlic, crushed

2 tsp. sugar

2 Tbsp. lime juice

2 Tbsp. fish sauce (use less if you’re sensitive to salt)

3 Tbsp. water

To make the marinade, mix all the ingredients together in a medium bowl. Add the chicken and stir to combine. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

To make the green sauce, combine all the ingredients together in a blender and process until smooth. For a spicy zing, add green chili pepper, such as jalapeño.

Preheat a gas grill on high. Reduce heat to medium and oil the grate. Place the chicken on the grill and cook, covered, about 10 minutes on one side and 5 minutes on the other. The time will vary, however, based on the temperature of your grill and the size of the chicken thighs. Serve over jasmine rice and drizzle with the green sauce and a splash of Sriracha (if you so choose).