ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME. PART III

If you are a parent or teacher committed to protecting your child against the evil Chicken Hawk (child molester/abductor) and you’ve been reading along with me, you know that in Parts I and II we talked about the importance of teaching your child the importance of doing everything she or he can do to always stay in the Initial Crime Scene (the medium-to-high-witness environment where your child was approached and attacked by the pervert), and, perhaps even more importantly, employing cool delaying techniques to expand the amount of time the predator is required to spend in the ICS in order to trap and abduct his prey.

Research shows that about 95 to 97% of the predators will break off their intended abduction attempt when they are faced with any determined resistance, included direct, challenging eye contact, verbal challenge, or even the appearance of readiness on the part of the child. As a matter of fact, most sexual predators won’t even seriously pursue a child who even looks like she or he is alert, aware and prepared to resist (The Tough Target Personality, of which I spoke in Part I).

But, hold the phone, Safety Coaches (you parents who are valiantly and tirelessly committed to coaching your children on these survival skills). What about the rare predator who may still attack your child despite his or her best delaying tactics? These are desperate and violent criminals who are determined to capture a victim for whatever reason that is driving them.

KID ESCAPE TECHNIQUES WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.

1. THE FIGHTING ARTS AND TARGET FOCUSED TECHNIQUES. Let’s face it: Sending your kids to a martial arts class is a great idea, but no 8 or 10 year-old is going to whip a large, desperate, adult violent sex offender with fancy spin-kicks and the sort. I teach children, when they are grabbed by the adult, to look for open and vulnerable Primary Targets (targets that can stop the adult from breathing, seeing, moving after them). The adult’s hands will be occupied pulling the child in, so gouge the eyes with the fingers and thumb; strike the throat with a Beak Strike or the ridge of the hand; drive his or her forehead hard into the Bad Guy’s nose; kick or knee the groin and be ready for follow-up strikes. I have addressed how to perform each of the above-referenced strikes in previous posts, and, upon request I will go into them in more detail. The key is to strike or gouge a vital target and keep hitting, squirming, kicking and screaming until you are released. Safety Coaches can use props like the cardboard cylinder from a roll of toilet paper to replicate the delicate tissue of the throat, a soft pillow to gouge instead of the eyes.
2. IMPROVISED WEAPONS. Safety Coaches can teach their children how to use items that they normally would be carrying. A loud whistle can scare off a predator. A bright intensive light from a small flashlight in his eyes. Punching in 9-1-1 on a cell phone and saying “;Police—“ will also influence an attacker to back off. However, don’t forget the pure surprise impact of striking with that improvised weapon. Teach your child how to hold the cell phone low, as if it weren’t a weapon, and, then, as the predator closes in, drive the hard edge of the cell hard into his throat. Other improvised weapons can be a set of keys; a wallet; a purse or handbag; a rolled up newspaper; a book, you name it. Once again, Improvised Weapons and how to use them have been addressed in previous posts.
3. DROP LOCK AND ROLL. If and when the predator grabs your child and actually carries him or her to a car, an alley (Secondary Crime Scene), wherever, the Drop-Lock-and Roll is a great technique to teach your child. I have several DVD’s from my Kid Escape Program teaching each component of the escape move, and I will send one to you upon request (at cost) In short, I advocate one of two moves:

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER ONE. You know how hard it is trying to hold on to a puppy or kitten that doesn’t want to be held. Think of it. Ever try to scoop up your kid in a store when he or she really did not want to go? I simply add a surprise move to the formula. Secret Move A: For the initial 10 to 20 seconds the child acts as if he is paralyzed with fear, which by the way, is just what the abductor expects and wants. Invoke a false sense of security. As soon as the abductor loosens his grip – which he will when he pauses to open the door on his van, etc., teach your child to suddenly begin to kick and squirm and head butt and bite and claw until he becomes impossible to hold. This will result in the child slipping in the Bad Guy’s grip. Teach your child to deliver whatever strikes or moves that will enable him or her to escape, but, more likely thank not, she or he will have to resort to Escape Move Number Two.

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER TWO. This is what I call “Drop-Lock and Roll.” John Hall, the founder of Kid Escape, invented this and calls it by a different name. Like I said, I have the DVD. E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com and I will mail it to you at cost.

1. Delaying and Evasive Tactic Number One is the child will make it difficult to impossible for the adult to carry him or her into a vehicle. Squirm and turn toward the adult and when the grip is loosened teach the child to dive head first toward the abductors legs and latch on with both hands. If the Bad Guy has the child high, we advocate the child diving head first over the Bad Guy’s head and dive toward his buttocks, grabbing on to the Bad Guy’s waist first and squirming and working his or her way down to the subject’s legs.

2. DELAYING AND EVASIVE TACTIC NUMBER TWO has the child making him or herself impossible to hold by shimmying down the legs all the way to the feet. Latch on to one foot with both hands and now spin around and latch on to the other ankle by crossing both feet.

v ESCAPING FROM THE PREDATOR’S VEHICLE. Two key tactics. If, for whatever reason, the child IS abducted from the Initial Crime Scene and is about to be thrown into the vehicle:

1. THIS IS WHERE THE BAD GUY WILL LOOSEN HIS GRIP. Choose this exact moment to Drop/Lock/Roll. Enhance this move by kicking both feet against the front seat as the Bad Guy is trying to toss the child into the seat.

2. DO NOT LET THIS MISCREANT DRIVE YOUR CHILD AWAY! In my CAT or Kid Escape class I teach kids and parents not to ever give up. It is life or death important that the Bad Guy not be allowed to drive off with your child! I advocate several strategies, including:

1) Delay the inevitable by tossing the “male” seat belt buckle in the doorway to jam the door from closing.

2) Use The Element Of Surprise:

Ø Teach your child how to quickly unlock the passenger side door. Repeat the drill 50 times.

Ø Teach your child to act scared – which will not be an act, at all – and reach for the abductor.

Ø The abductor most likely will respond positively to the child wanting to hug him.

Ø Once in this position (face to face on the abductor’s lap/I know what you’re thinking: Scary), Latch on tight to the predator/Bite/gouge his eyes/grab the keys from the ignition and toss them out the window, and, if possible, scramble to the passenger door, open it and escape.

Ø Worse comes to worse, if your child n the Face-To-Face Position, how comfortable do you think an abductor would be driving on the streets or highway with a child who is not his on his lap, face-to-face, screaming?

Until Next Time. Stay Safe.

Hammer

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ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD-ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME, PART II

In the last post we talked about the importance of teaching your child how to trust his or her gut feelings (“The Creeps”) so he/she can mark the potential adult predator before he invades your child’s PSZ (Personal Safety Zone, or, Hula Hoop Space). We also talked about what to do when your kid is confronted with the adult predator and running away might not be your child’s best option.

The tactical core of Counter Abduction Tactics (CAT), or Kid Escape (founded ny John Hall) is to force the abductor to spend more time in the Initial Crime Scene (ICS) than he wants to. A simple plan, this, but an effective one. Every minute, no, every second, the predator must spend in the ICS beyond what he had originally planned on is agonizing to the molester. Think of it: this adult miscreant knows who he is and what he is. He knows he is a pariah who cannot afford to get caught doing the unthinkable act he plans to do. There is this immutable clock in his head that is ticking louder and louder each second more he is delayed. The louder we can make that clock tick, the more confused and distracted and desperate he becomes. This is also why I urge my students to do whatever he or she can to stay in the Initial Crime Scene!

Even if it means getting injured, even severely, stay in the Initial Crime Scene. At least the child knows that an ambulance will be able to locate him or her there, whereas he or she will never be found in the isolated Secondary Crime Scene.

KID ESCAPE DELAYING TACTICS

1. Run while looking at the Predator.
2. Use Barricades in the Environment to Delay the Attacker.
3. Destroy the Environment (See the post from 10/15/09).
4. “Your Shirt Is On Fire.” One of the games we play in CAT and one of the games Safety Coaches (parents) can play. Quickly drop to the ground as if your shirt is on fire and roll as if you are trying to put the fire out. Adults have a tough time catching a kid who does this.
5. “Pole Dance For Your Life.” Kid Escape was designed as a survival technique when a woman who was being abducted reached out and grabbed a telephone pole and latched on with both legs, feet, arms and hands. The men who were trying to throw her into a van were unable to unlatch her and drove off out of fear they would be caught. Teach your child, as I do, to grab hold of whatever is around them and hold on for dear life. Yes, the Bad Guy might try to beat the child and may even hurt the child, but as John Hall says, “Self Defense is not an injury free endeavor.” Kids have been able to save themselves from being abducted by latching on to their bikes with hands, feet, arms and legs, putting their heads down and forcing the Bad Guy to try to lift them and the bike. Hard to do. Thousands of children have been abducted from their own beds with their parents only a few yards away. Teach them to save themselves by latching on to a bed post, a chair, anything and curling up in a ball and screaming as loud as they can! Play the “Pole Dance Game” with them. It’s fun, too. You’ll be surprised how imaginative your kids can be.
6. THE CRAB WALK. After playing “Shirt on Fire,” have your child face the Bad Guy (Role Play) place the palms of both hands on the floor, raise his or her butt and quickly crab walk backwards away from the Bad Guy. Scramble away as quickly as possible. It is possible, by doing this, the child can cause the Bad Guy even more of a delay at the ICS and possibly make that Internal Clock tick even louder. He might break off the attack. As with all evasive tactics, teach your child to make as much noise as possible.
7. ACT INSANE. Sexual Predator/Abductors target normal kids. You know, quiet, nice, courteous, considerate. Normal. So, screw it; teach your child (give him or her permission under special circumstances) to act crazy. You know: Loud, profane, nasty, moving around non-stop, hands and fists pumping, rolling on the floor while yelling, staring at the Bad Guy. Crazy!

NEXT POST: WHAT YOUR CHILD CAN DO IF AND WHEN THE PREDATOR GRABS HIM/HER AND TRIES TO CARRY HIM/HER OFF.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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Escape and Evade the Child Predator Damn Near Every Time. PART I.

It’s what I do. Study depressing statistics and the tactical trends of violence and design trainings to somehow neutralize the threat. One person at a time. Or, if I’m luck, one small class of people at a time. Suffice it to say that the statistics – and trends – behind child abductions in the United States is staggering. Something like 400,000 children a year. 1000 kids a day. Gone.

The National Center for Missing Children suggests that once a child is abducted by a predator (as opposed to a family member in a custody battle), we have a very short window to save the abducted child. It also suggests that a plan of action and good information are a family’s best defense against losing a child to an abductor. Moreover, the National Center for Missing and Abducted Children studied 403 attempted kidnappings from February, 2005 to July, 2006 and discovered a ray of hope for concerned parents. Children who fought their attacker had a 60% chance of escaping their abductor and about 10% of the children who were attacked were able to escape their abductor “when an adult or another child just happened by—“

The implications for a practical Escape and Evasion Survival System – at least to me – are undeniable. What children really need is a self defense training system that:

v Can be learned quickly.

v Is retainable.

v Is easy to perform under high survival stress situations.

v Can be taught at home or in school by a parent, guardian and/or teacher.

Hello. How about my CAT (Counter Abduction Technique) training program?

CAT Design. Simply and briefly put, CAT is designed around the Tactical Trends or scheme of the sexual predator. Through ardent research and personal experience (as a Pa. State Parole Officer), I know that the predator depends on several factors to allow him to abduct his prey:

v The universal sweetness of children, who are socialized to trust and believe all adults.

v The timidity of his prey.

v Silence or a lack of disturbance of the environment by the victim/child, thereby lacking any ability to alert witnesses.

v The readiness of nearby adults to believe an adult over a child.

v The removal of the victim/child from the Initial Crime Scene, which is usually a high-witness area, to a pre-planned isolated Secondary Crime Scene where the predator will be able to do whatever he wishes to do to the child for as long as he wishes without any possible interference.

v And, above all else, the predator depends upon and relies upon the element of speed. It is crucial to the abductor that he is able to take the child with the least amount of notice as quickly as possible before another child, adult, or the police can intervene.

CAT TECHNIQUES & TACTICS , therefore, teach and promote strategies that will transform an ideal victim/child into a Tough Target Child. Simply put, the TTC will be taught by his/her instructor or parents (Safety Coaches) to always do the following, which, by the way, is easy to teach and easy to do:

v BREATHE, TALK AND MOVE. The predator almost always chooses victims who are quiet, timid and still. Nine out of 10 victims, whether they be children or adults, FREEZE AT FIRST TOUCH. Teach your child to be a Tough Target who uses First Touch as a trigger to explode into action. I teach children to quickly swing their arms and hands toward their head – as if they were Elvis combing his hair – to escape the inevitable arm grab and then step and move away and shout at the abductor. If there are others in the area, shout “Hey, this guy is not my father!” Children should also make direct eye contact with the predator so he knows the child knows what he is up to. Many will break off the attack and move on at this point.

v ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. I use a Hula Hoop during the early phase of my CAT or Kid Escape classes. Kids love hula hoops, and, of course, asking them to hold a hula hoop around their waist is a non-threatening way to define the radius of their Personal Safety Zone (have your child hold the hoop tight against their back side and study the space created by the hula hoop in front of them). I tell them that they should allow no adult, save for those on their Gold List inside that PSZ. Safety Coaches can run role play scenarios with the child and teach them what to do if and when a non-Gold Lister attempts to enter their space without his or her permission.

Ø J-Step Away.

Ø Ste-Slide Away, recreating their space.

Ø Place an environmental barricade between him/her (the child) and the adult.

· DISENGAGE, IF POSSIBLE. Safety Coaches must teach their children to be observant, To notice adult/strangers who do not seem to belong on the scene, who appear to be paying too much attention to the child. Being observant will also trigger the child’s Gut Instincts, better known to children as “The Creeps.” Advise your child to always trust those feelings. At your chi

· earliest opportunity he/she should put as much distance between himself and the adult as possible. How, you might ask?

Ø Always try to remain in the company of at least one other child. Two children have an 80% less of a chance of being abducted.

Ø Run in a zig zag, or serpentine fashion.

Ø Destroy the Environment. Throw object at the Bad Guy’s feet, knock objects over. Try to draw attention to yourself. Make a scene.

Ø Try not to turn your back on the adult. Turning your back triggers the Predator instinct in the abductor and he will catch you. Keep your eye on him and run sideways.

BY ALL MEANS, THE KEY TO INFLUENCING THE MOLESTOR TO BREAK OFF HIS ATTACK IS TO REFUSE TO LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH HIM AND TO MAKE HIM SPEND MORE TIME THAN HE WOULD LIKE IN THAT INITIAL CRIME SCENE!

More on delaying the Bad Guy at the Scene in the next post.

Stay safe until then.

Hammer

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KEEP SCHOOLS SAFE

September 28, 2009

CRISIS COMMUNICATIONS

Communications is a critical component of crisis management. School staff members and students must be told what is happening and what to do. Parents must also be informed about the (crisis) situation, including the status of their child. Timely contact with law enforcement and other emergency services is also necessary for effective response. School Board members must also be advised, as well as the press, not to mention the PTA and other organizations supportive of the school.

When a crisis goes down, there are some practices which school administrators might find helpful, including the following:

v An E-Mail Tree using a carefully crafted statement notifying staff of a crisis event when they are not at school.

v A Telephone Tree.

v The Morning Faculty Meeting includes an early, brief meeting providing a chance to give accurate, updated info about the crisis/situation and to review procedures, including the availability of intervention resources.

v The End-of-Day Faculty Meeting provides a chance to review day one, update information, and plan for day two. Misinformation or rumors can be addressed before staff members go home or into the community where they will likely to be asked about the event.

More On Communications in the School, Etc. in the next post.

Stay safe.

Hammer

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September 25, 2009

NOW WHAT? WHEN DE-ESCALATION DOESN’T WORK!

Ok. You are being verbally attacked by a student and you have followed the De-Escalation Playbook almost by the numbers, meaning you have:

v Depersonalized.

v Depreciated the Verbal Icon.

v Kept Your Cool.

v Deflected Insults Cooly instead of Absorbing Them

v Held Your Ego at Bay.

v Empathized.

v Took Nothing Personally and Responded Professionally.

v Employed Positive, Non-Combative Body Language In Synch With What you were saying.

v Asked Questions to Find Out the Facts.

v Treated the Student as you would have wanted to be treated under the exact same circumstances.

v Asked instead of Commanded.

v Explained Why.

v Gave the Student Good Options.

Yet, despite your best, most professional efforts, the student is still in your face. Still disruptive. There might be any number of reasons why your efforts have failed, probably none of which caused by your attempts to Generate Voluntary Compliance (the goal of Verbal Judo). Maybe the student feels his “face” is on the line and she/he cannot back down in front of the audience (friends and peers witnessing the event).

Time, I think, to take this thing to the Next Level. Here are a few suggestions you might try:

CUT AND HERD. Using a security officer or another teacher, separate the disruptive student from the audience. More likely than not, the student, once separated from his or her audience, will be a lot more pliable.

TAKE PHYSICAL CONTROL. If you are security, it is time to either use back-up and take control. At some point you gave the kid some options. Since the student chose to defy instructions, she or he has actually chosen the “bad” option, which might have been “You can show me your ID and simply move on to your class, or, you can continue to rant and rave and you will have given us no choice but to escort you to (wherever).” If you are a teacher, it might be time to call security since most of you are restricted from using force. If you are not restricted, however, with the help of another teacher, you can move in and take control of him.

CONFIRM for the record, before you take physical control, be you security or a teacher, that the subject still refuses to comply. “Lisa, is there anything I can say to get you to go along with the program today? I sure hope there is.” Is, in my mind, the ideal Confirmation Statement because it serves many purposes:

v The statement is so “nice” and unexpected that it sometimes generates voluntary compliance. I have seen it work. The subject simply stunned, taken by surprise, and the next thing he or she knows is he or she is doing what you want, thinking it was his or her idea in the first place.

v Witnesses perceive – correctly – that you are being professional, considerate, empathetic and nice. They also see the student, by contrast, being unreasonable, belligerent, nasty. I have seen friends and family members actually get drawn onto the professional’s side and say to the disruptive person, “C’mon, the guy is being cool about this. Chill out, Dude.”

v If you do have to physically take control of the student or defend yourself, by using this statement, you have created preclusion. Meaning that your employer and any court that is called upon to judge your actions will look favorably upon your actions because you have used every means at your disposal to have precluded the need for using force.

Until Next Time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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September 24, 2009

DEFLECTING VERBAL ATTACKS (VAPS)

Teachers, security, parents, all too often are confronted with vicious and unnerving verbal attacks by our students and children. In many cases, the kid has gone a little nuts, is, for whatever reason, out of control and confused about how to handle his or her feelings. Growing up and surviving the tinderbox which is our schools can be harrowing and frustrating, to be sure.

In many instances, managing verbal outbursts and even attacks comes down to the teacher, security specialist, or parent maintaining his or her cool, listen and empathizing as well as he or she can with what the child seems to be going through. Very often, those same (natural) skills a teacher brings to the job is more than enough to reduce the tension and get the student back on track.

But today I thought I might focus on a growing number of disruptive students (I have gone into the rising stress levels engendered by the effects of the recession on today’s families, and, indirectly students, in past posts) who seem to be more unstable, more volatile, and seem to be quicker to go from verbally abusive to physically assaultive. Often, this group of disruptive students use VAPS (Verbal Attack Patterns) to get the teacher, security officer or parent pissed off enough to lose their cool and speak or act unprofessionally (The Teacher loses his or her professionalism and the student is in control of the interaction).

The Goal of verbal attacks is to elicit a prescribed response by the professional. In other words, VAPS are often Tactically Contrived to cause the teacher/security officer/parent to lose his or her cool in front of the class, therefore building (justification) ground for the disruptive student to increase his or her illicit conduct and/or to actually attack the teacher/security staff.

EFFECTIVELY MANAGING VERBAL ABUSE, then, requires the professional to adopt a studied, professional response rather than a natural, emotional (personal) reaction. This studied and professional response includes the Art of Deflection and Redirection.

The Trick is to remain professional, feel or at least Mirror Calm, and give the disruptive student no ground upon which to fight! Depreciate the Verbal Icon – in other words, award his or her taunts, threats, profanity and insults with absolutely zero value. Depersonalize completely. Take nothing the student says personally.  I know, not easy to do. Taking taunts personally is easy because it’s natural.  Deflecting insults and verbal abuse is hard because it is unnatural. It has to be a conscious, pre-designed act! But, in order to maintain control of the classroom, it must be done.

And, just as I said in the last post, use Strip Phrases to Deflect the student’s verbal abuse:

STRIP PHRASES LIKE:

v “PRECIATE THAT, BUT——“

v “I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT—–“

v “OH, YES, BUT——“

v “I HEAR THAT, BUT—–“

v EVERY WORD AFTER “BUT” IS PROFESSIONAL LANGUAGE DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A PROFESSIONAL OBJECTIVE.

v “I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY, BUT—-“

v “I BELIEVE THAT, BUT—“

v “YOU GOT YOURSELF SOME BAD DATA THERE, BUT—“

Deflection works best using the following equation, or formula:

1) The student verbally attacks.

2) The teacher deflects the VAP with a Strip Phrase.

3) The students calms after a while.

4) We go on with our lives.

5) If this does not work, we take it up to the next level (see the next post).

v Step I. (To security): “Get the f**k out of my face, bitch!”

v Step 2. (Strip Phrase) “I hear that, Rosie, but I still need to see your ID sticker.”

v Step 3. (Student Again): “What the fu** is it with you cop wannabees? You hasslin’ only us Rican kids?”

v Step 4. (2^nd and final Strip Phrase): “Rosie you got yourself some bad data there, but, for your safety and mine (Peace Phrase), let me see your ID and then you can be on your way (another Peace Phrase).

In the next post: Taking It To the Next Level when the student refuses.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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September 23, 2009

MANAGING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE

My last post – let’s face it – was basically me venting about the senseless murder of a Yale graduate student – a woman – in the supposedly high security lab environment of that esteemed university. The police have dubbed the murder as workplace violence, and, although I don’t completely agree, I posted a monograph on Woman and Workplace Violence (WPV). And as I promised at the end of that post, we are going to talk a bit about how to effectively deal – on a personal level – with people and events that seem to be cascading toward all –out violence on your work site, the school.

FACTORS THAT PLACE TEACHERS AND STUDENTS AT RISK FOR WPV.

v Contact with the public (yep).

v Responsibilities include the exchange of money.

v Working alone or in small numbers (yep again).

v Working with volatile, unstable person(s), etc. (absolutely, yep).

v Working late at night or in the early morning hours (you have to report early, leave often in the dark, walk through an unlit parking lot, etc)

v Working in a high crime area (yep again and again).

v Guarding valuable properties, including drugs, etc.

v   Charged with grading students; failing students; disciplining students, etc (a huge factor).

v Delivery of home care services (sometimes teachers make community visits).

As you may have noticed, only two of those factors existed relative to the murder of Ms. Lee. She was working alone and she was working in the same location as what turned out to be a volatile, unstable person.

RECOGNIZING THOSE RED, RED FLAGS.

If at all possible, of course, work in the company of people whom you trust. More likely than not, if Ms. Lee had, the angry, emotionally disturbed and volatile person would have stewed in his own rage for a while and gone on his way, leaving Ms. Lee unharmed.

However, if you read my last post (Lust Or WPV?), you might be aware that homicide is the number one cause of death for women (in the workplace). You would also know that incidents of stalking, rape, sexual assault, and other types of violence are visited on our distaff teachers in alarmingly increasing numbers.

My point: Even if she would have gone to the Yale lab with one or two friends, the perpetrator likely would have attempted to stalk, trap and attack Ms. Lee when she was alone and vulnerable.

What, then, are some of the Red Flags, or Signatures of Danger, you can use to help you profile someone you want to either stay clear of, or, more likely, prepare a self defense plan against?

v A history of violence, stalking, etc. (The Perp in this case had this history).

v He/She has stalked or harassed another woman/worker in the past.

v Some or Many of your co-workers communicate that they also feel uncomfortable around this person.

v The student/teacher is almost always rigid, inflexible, intransigent in how he/she handles work and social-related issues.

v Displays signs of chronic sadness, hopelessness, depression.

v The teacher/student often states his or her hopelessness.

v The teacher/student identifies with past perpetrators of spectacular WPV.

v A Fascination with guns and other weapons.

v Reacts poorly to criticism.

v Projects blame onto others.

v Sees himself as being on a One-Man Crusade.

Ok, so you recognize several of these factors, plus, importantly, you and others feel terribly uncomfortable around this person, plus, and now I refer to the Yale Incident, he strides toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your PSZ (Personal Safety Zone).

What do you do?

Stay Tuned For the Next Post. Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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September 22, 2009

If I am nothing else, I am peripatetic. I travel a lot and train a lot. Which is why you haven’t read anything from me in the past two weeks. But I’m back for a while so mayhap I can suggest a few more tricks for managing disruptive students. Hell, they worked pretty well for me with some of the most antisocial parolees in the state of Pennsylvania.  Should work for you, also.

THE SECRET TO HANDLING THOSE NASTY, NASTY VAPS (VERBAL ATTACK PATTERNS).

This is going to be quick and sweet, so listen up teachers (and security, and resource officers, and even parents). The real and true trick to putting down those nasty, intimidating, profane, and all too personal verbal attacks is not to put down the disturbed student at all.

As in the sport of judo, the key is to stay centered, balanced, to stay within oneself and to use the force of the emotionally unbalanced student against him or her. The true professional should be open to the philosophy at the very center of judo. The ineffective fighter who goes up against a 200 plus-pound student will confront the student and each will push against each other with all their might. The true judo artist, however, will not throw his weight against his opponent, but instead he will “become the bullet: as we say in law enforcement and not use his weight against his opponent, but instead will become one with his opponent, allowing his adversary to charge while he sidesteps and allows the attacker to be foot swept to the deck.

The formula to keep in mind for defusing disruptive students, then, is ME Tripled. Maximum Effectiveness and Maximum Efficiency with Minimal Energy!

STRIP PHRASES- THE ART OF DEFLECTION.

I believe the key to the ME Tripled philosophy lies within the Verbal Judo technique called Strip Phrases. The gist of Strip Phrasing is to deflect rather than absorb verbal attacks. You need to keep in mind that the goal of most verbal attacks is to anger or influence you into losing your professionalism by misusing your words and actions. You should also keep in mind that, if you allow a student to piss you off to the point that you lose control, it is the student who is in control of that interaction, and, possibly many interactions thereafter.

By deflecting personal attacks and insults rather than absorbing them you stay in control of yourself. Your ego is in check and, most importantly, because you easily and coolly parried the incoming insults, you have disempowered the student and empowered yourself.

The key to the Art of Deflection is centered around you responding professionally, not personally to VAPs. This won’t be easy in the face of ugly personal insults, intimidation and patent disrespect. Not easy, yet responding professionally is what you must do.

Teacher: Jon, I really would appreciate it if you stopped talking while I’m trying to teach—

Jon: (Standing Up and raising a fist)” Perkins, I’ll talk anytime I want to, you fat bastard!”

Teacher: (Mr. Perkins natural instinct is to lash out at the student, to grab him and choke him. Perkins, however, takes a breath, waits a couple seconds to assure his voice is steady and he tries to deflect the nasty VAP as professionally as possible).

Teacher: “I hear that, Jon, fact is, I have put on a few pounds lately, but I need you to sit yourself down now.”

The formula for successful deflection is to jump over the insult. In the above scenario, Perkins jumped over “you fat bastard” with the Strip Phrase of “I hear that, Jon,” and, “I have put on a few pounds lately.” Perkins deftly refuses to react to the VAP with the phrase “I hear that,” followed by the word “but.” The key to the phrase is that every word after but is professional language designed to fulfill your professional objective.

Stay Safe.

Hammer

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KEEP SCHOOLS SAFE

DEFUSE ANYONE. ANYTIME.

Here we go. Teachers, security specialists, resource officers, and even parents. Let me suggest that you unleash the Five Step Hard Style on those pesky and sometimes dangerous Disruptive Students and I can guarantee with confidence – if, of course, you use this neat little cluster of Verbal Judo techniques with the right attitude, tone, and intent (see the previous 5 posts entitled Defuse Anyone. Anytime. Anywhere).

Why the 5-Step? Simple. Because it is specifically designed to influence Difficult People to comply. Okay. Kind of a vague and over-generalized claim that proves nothing. Maybe this will help.

I am a frigging Difficult Person. Does not make me a bad person. As George Thompson, the founder of Verbal Judo, says: It was Difficult People – people who would not take “no” for an answer; people who always asked “why?” when told something – who founded and won over this country. And, like most Difficult People, I am “psychologically, philosophically, physically, and attitudinally incapable of doing what I am told to do, at least the first or second time I am told!” Hell, I was at a Yankee game this week and someone in our group told our group to stand up and cheer and I sat there with my arms crossed!

And the fact is, the great majority of Disruptive Students are Difficult People. Think of them as inherently incapable of doing what they are told to do, adopt the 5-Step, and, trust me, you will be able to handle almost every one of them.

And here is a neat bonus. The 5^th Step requires Action. Meaning, any student who refuses to comply by the 5^th step has been advised of the consequences of his or her actions and any action you take can easily be justified at any administrative hearing.

THE FIVE STEP

1. ASK INSTEAD OF COMMAND. Research and experience has proven to me that about 96% of all Difficult People will comply, if they are asked instead of commanded to do something
2. EXPLAIN (SET CONTEXT). A student who is asked to do something and refuses will often comply if the authority figure explains why they are being asked to do something. Remember: Difficult People like to ask why and they bristle when told that the reason is “because I told you so—“  If you ask and explain, 97-98% of Difficult People WILL comply!
3. GIVE THE STUDENT OPTIONS. Every Difficult Person or Disruptive Student likes to think he or she is the one choosing to do something. And, actually, Verbal Judo is influencing the person to do something you want him/her to do and having the person believe it was his/her idea in the first place. “Look, Sam, you have some real good options here is a terrific way to get a student’s attention)—“ My experience and VJ’s research reveals that we are up to about 98-99% of Difficult People will have complied at this point.
4. CONFIRM. By this point we are in pretty good shape. Nine out of 10 of our Disruptive Students have complied and we only have one out of the original 10 still defying us. Before we take action, though, we need to confirm for the record that there is nothing we can do or say that will get this kid to cooperate. We can do this by way of the Confirmation Statement: “Jon, is there anything I can say or do to get you to go along with the program today? I really hope there is.” Is the ideal way to make this statement. In some cases, when an officer used this statement, the Bad Guy has even laughed, dropped his staunch defenses, and went along with the dealio.

But, like I said earlier, if the Bad Guy continues to defy the security team or the teacher, everyone knew it was time for Step 5.

1. ACTION. This is when the teacher, parent or officer would move in and do whatever protocol called for. If there would be any legal repercussions, the authority figure would be able to say that the student had every opportunity to comply, but refused. He or she gave you no choice.

Until Next Time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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DEFUSE ANY ONE. ANY TIME. PART 5

So sorry, reader, but the Hammer’s been off doing trainings out west and other places, so the posts have been rare lately. I will try to get a few in before I take off again, this time to Chicago, Cape May and Ocean City, Maryland.

Along those lines, though, each time I trained a team of officers or security personnel it became clearer to them and definitely to me, that many of the problems they encounter could be managed more effectively, more efficiently and with a hell of a lot less energy than they way they had traditionally elected to handle problems involving the use of any kind of force.

Which brings us back to the theme of this and the past four posts – defusing any person or student, anytime, anywhere.

Every time I do any kind of use of force training - be it subject control or self defense – I eventually talk about one of the crucial axioms of my Advanced De-Escalation Techniques (nee Verbal Judo) course.

ME Tripled. Maximum Effectiveness, Maximum Efficiency with a Minimum of Energy.

And, truly, this is what de-escalation skills are all about. Many of the teachers, administrators and security specialists I encounter (in my travels as an Instructor Trainer) frankly, do not have the physical, mental, or, for that matter, emotional conditioning that is required to physically handle or manage really disruptive students. Believe me, the skills and techniques I teach in my DSM (Disruptive Student Management) program are dog shit simple, designed especially for the smallest teacher/security, yet time after time I see the personnel I have been asked to instruct fumble and trip over the techniques, and, in my heart, I know that in a real critical situation where only a teacher/security person who has practiced the skills and actually has committed him or herself to them in an educational environment that also has committed itself to the safety of its students and its security/teaching personnel – a situation I have only encountered once (where the school district acquired Student Control Technique Training for its staff and developed a protocol delineating what security personnel can do in a crisis) – that the people I have been training will fail!

So, long story short, therein lies the critical value of learning and mastering verbal de-escalation skills. After all, 98% of all student control situations can be artfully and effectively managed with good verbal skills.

Next Post: The Heart of De-escalation. The 5-Step Hard Style.

Until Then, please Stay Safe.

Hammer

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