In order to teach your child vital skills that will give him/her what it takes to avoid, evade & escape the grasps of the Chicken Hawk (child predator), you, the parent, might want to become your child’s Survival Coach. I have written numerous posts on this issue, so all you would have to do is scroll through the KSS library of Hammer blogs.  However, here, in a nutshell are some of the vital tasks and duties of a Survival Coach:

• TEACH YOUR CHILD WHO CAN BE TRUSTED.  A GOLD LIST, so to speak.  A very short list.  These are the only people you are permitted to allow close enough to touch you.  Teachers, clergy, doctors and other relatives are permitted to be at a “safe” distance, but cannot be allowed to touch you, drive you home, etc.  Repeat this Gold List over and over.  I advocate 3 different lists, featuring different degrees of trust.  The 8-year old boy who was abducted, toirtured, cut-up and later found in an ice box trusted a stranger who lived in a “trustworthy and religious neighborhood.”
• LOVE OF FAMILY IS A CENTRAL IMAGE.  Many youngsters who have survived abductions and abduction attempts survived because they were driven to return home by the image of their loving family.  Kids can almost do anything when well trained and part of a loving home.
• TEACH YOUR CHILD THE IMPORTANCE OF ALWAYS STAYING AT THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE.  Scary but true.  Once your child allows him/herself to be taken from the ICS, he or she will be taken to a pre-arranged, isdolated secondary scene from which he or she will like.ly not return.  The child must do whatever possible to stay in this high-to-medium witness environment, even if it means getting injured, maybe even severely.  At least, more likely than not, he or she will be found by friends, neighbors, police or emergency medical services.
• TEACH YOUR CHILD HOW TO STAY AT THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE (ICS): This is where I come in.  Not that you can’t teach your child effective skills to thwart the predator, either before he makes contact or after.  It is just that, in my next post, I will suggest a few time proven Kid Escape tactics and strategies designed to frustrate the pervert.  Frustrate him, cause him to panic, and hopefully influence him to break off his attack and run like a scared little school girl.

Hammer

YOU see, in order for a child (I am training) to actually be able to escape and evade the pernicioua nd evil predator, his or her parent(s) must be actively involved.  I am absolutely and resolutely convinced of this.  Matter of fact, your child would have about a 60% better chance of escaping the grasps of a prospective sexual predator if he or she was mentored, supported and instructed by you, the parent, than if he/she just took my program.  Why?  you might be asking:

MY CAT (Counter Abduction Tactics) program teaches the child effective strategies and tactics that,  if performed quickly and correctly, can maximize the child’s chances of avoiding the predator altogether, and, if the predator does contact the child, of deftly squirming out of his graps.  Just scroll through my posts and you will find any number of innovative yet effective Kid Escape techniques.

NOT for any lack of trying.  It’s just that it’s rare when I have ever been able to put any decent class size together.  The local community college, for instance, has had to cancel many of my classes because of a lack of interest. And that’s a distinct bummer, Hammer-fans, especially since it wasn’t the children with cases of apathy.  It was their parents.

YOU SEE, I believe the key to teaching children how to escape & evade abductors lies mainly with the parents. Any time I teach children we (the community college and I) require parents to attend along with the children.  Ergo, class dimissed!  So, after years of trying, I not only gave up trying to put S.T.I.C.K. (Survival Techniques and Intervention Concepts for Kid/Parents) and C.A.T. (Counter Abduction Tactics) classes together,  I also gave up writing posts for Keep Schools Safe.

Until an 8-year old boy, who’s parents felt it was safe to allow him to walk by himself in what they thought was an ultra-safe neighbohood, was abducted by a “safe-looking” adult, a resident of that neighborhood, and was sexually molested before he was cut up in little pieces and stuffed in a freezer.  Until several other little girls and boys suffered the same fate.  Their names need be cited here.  Just the fact that reading these tortuous and predictable stories prodded me into coming back and giving this another shot.

I begin my reentry into the blog world with this post.  And, with this post, I once again ask parents to seriously, realistically and arduously take up the role of Safety Coach for their child or children.  In this and a few other posts I plan to go into what, if you accept this challenge, a Safety Coach would do in order to save your child(ren) from the sexual predator.

THE SAFETY COACH – Roles and Responsibilities

• Support & Encourage Your Child.
• Ask Questions & (Really) Listen.
• Establish a Culture of Awareness, Assessment & Anticipation.
• Teach Your Child How To Take Action in his/her defense.
• Skills Like Running Tactically/Breathing Tactically/”Crab-Walking Backwards”/Using “Barricades in the Environment”/Transitioning Into The”Drop-Lock & Roll”/Escaping From The Car, etc.
• Develop, Enhance & Maintain the Value System of Returning Home to family.
• Teach Your Child Effective (Kid Escape) Skills To Expand the Predator’s Time at the “Initial Crime Scene (ICS).”

STARTING with my next post, I will expand and get specific about how you, as a parent, treacher, or administrator can develop a system of “Escape Values” that will maximize your child’s chances of never being selected as a victim, or, if he or she is, how to escape and evade the potential abductor.

UNTIL THEN, stay safe.

Hammer

PARENTS: BE YOUR CHILD’S BULLY-BE-GONE SAFETY COACH!

Sheesh, Readers, talk about a frigging writer’s block. I wrote Part I of this 2-part post back on December 19. Over a month ago. If you’ve read me before, thanks for hanging in there. If you are a first-time reader, welcome. Enough already. Let’s get on with what I think are some valuable, easy-to-learn, easy-to-maintain, easy-to-perform under stress in real situation Fighting Arts that you can teach your children at home. Teach them these arts and I damn near guarantee your child will be able to:

1. Prevent the bully from selecting him or her as a victim.
2. Delay and discourage even the preliminary stages of a physical attack.
3. But, if the attack comes, repel the assault and easily escape and evade injury

STEP 1. (RE) READ PART I. The 12/19 article suggested some key steps, including taking on the role of your child’s Safety Coach and teaching him or her Tough Target Skills that, if adopted, will create an aura that will not make him an easy target for bullying.

STEP 2. NEGOTIATE A PLEDGE FROM YOUR CHILD that he is willing to do whatever it takes, within reason, of course, to make a bully go away. After all, Bully-Be-Gone Tactics requires, more than even ability, a readiness and willingness to do what it takes. Standing up to a bully, after all, takes courage, make no mistake. Taking a pledge from your son or daughter that they will take their training seriously and commit themselves to it, is a very, very big step toward achieving the ultimate goal, which is to make the bully go away, forever (and, oh, how liberating a feeling that will be!)

STEP 3. MAKE THIS TRAINING A FAMILY DEFENSE PLAN. Make standing up for oneself and defending oneself family values.

STEP 4. PARENTS, BE SAFETY COACHES. If you read Step 1, you know this. If you did not, read it now.

STEP 5. DEVELOP AND TEACH FROM A LESSON PLAN OF FIGHTING SKILLS. Make sure the skills you arrive at are simple, easy to learn, based on symmetrical, gross motor skills, are easily doable under stress, and, since many of these might be exercised in the school environment where a zero-violence policy exists, injury-friendly.

HAMMER’S BULLY-BE-GONE COUNTER-BULLY SUCCESS FORMULA

1. BREATHE DON’T FREEZE!. Teach your child that the first thing they need to do when attacked is to fight the natural urge to freeze and hold his or her breath. 98% of victims do this, which is why they are victims. Tactical breathing sends oxygenated blood to the brain.
2. VERBALIZE. Nine out of 10 victims not only freeze but say nothing as the bully invades his or her space. Tell the bully that you intend to stand up for yourself. Ask him to step back; tell him to step back and then warn him to get back before you counter attack.
3. CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Personal space is a fighting issue and the bully will attempt to immediately Depreciate the Victim by stepping in to his or her PSZ (Personal safe Zone). Breathe, Talk, Establish a Balanced Ready Stance, and Move is the correct sequence here.

Ø Breathe

Ø “”George, I told you, get back!”

Ø Balanced posture, strong foot back, knees bent, eye contact and weak hand up near face.

Ø Move diagonally to maintain your distance (5 to 6’).

1. HAVE A GAME PLAN. Teach your child some reasonable escape and evasion tactics. Key here is your child needs to have a number 1 plan of action as well as a back-up plan (failure plan). Once he or she loads the plan in his or her brain, he or she is Spinal Tuned for action. If she/he has no plan, there is a good chance he or she will freeze like a deer in the headlights when an attack comes).
2. LOAD “SURPRISE” INTO THE GAME PLAN. Especially if your child is not well physically equipped for dominating a fight, surprise is a key to victory. A few notes about “surprise” at the end of this article.
3. SET THE BAD GUY BACK ON HIS/HER HEELS. Take the fight to the bully before he can take the first swing! The bully has chosen your kid, most likely because she or he feels your kid is an easy target. Invoke “Surprise” by taking the initiative. Knowing when to “take the fight to the bully” is a key, of course:

Ø AFTER THE BAD GUY THREATENS YOU.

Ø AFTER THE BULLY SHOVES YOU.

Ø AFTER THE BAD GUY POKES YOUN WITH HUIS OR HER FINGER (IN THE CHEST).

Ø AFTER THE BULLY DISREGARDS YOUR REQUEST TO “STAY BACK.” IF AND WHEN THEJ BULLY STARTS STRIDING TOWARD YOU WITH MENACING BODY LANGUAGE!

1. USE REALISTIC AND EFFECTIVE ESCAPE & EVASION TACTICS:

Ø KEEP MOVING, HANDS UP.

Ø MIRROR CALM. LOOK FEROCIOUS, THINK FEROCIOUS. DO NOT COMMUNICATE FEAR.

Ø TIE THE BULLY UP (MAKE SURE TO GET YOUR ARMS ABOVE HIS/HERS).

Ø ONCE YOU HAVE HIM TIED UP, DRIVE YOUR TOE HARD SEVERAL TIMES INTO HIS/HER LOWER SHINS.

Ø THIS WILL MAKE HIM LOOSEN OR DROP HIS GRIP ON YOU. “OPEN HIS DOOR” BY PLACING YOUR WEAK HAND ON HIS OPPOSITE SHOULDER AND YOUR STRONG HAND ON THAT HIP AND SHOVE DOWNWARD AND BACK AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE.

Ø STEP THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR AND GET OUT OF DODGE.

Next Post: The Element of Surprise and Bully-Be-Gone.

Until then, Stay Safe.

HAMMER

Fact is bullying is one of our most common forms of violence in this country.  Which is scary because our country leads the free world in home grown violence.  Over 30% of our children are either victims of or perpetrators of bullying.  I could go into the statistics of the psychological scars of bullying, what it does to both the victim and the perpetrator.  But, as a parent, I suspect you would much rather read about what you can do to help your child – if, of course, he/she is a victim of bullying.

You have heard this before from me, but you’re going to hear it again because it is vitally important.  You need to accept the role of your child’s Safety Coach. And just like any good coach, you need to take a caring and supportive approach to the issues, but add another element – a Drill Sergeant’s Combat Eye – toward the skills you need to teach and maybe even repetitively train “into” your child assure that he/she will be able to prevent, avoid, and, when necessary, prevail over the bully.

1. BE AWARE OF ANY SUBTLE OR OBVIOUS CHANGES IN YOUR CHILD. Be sensitive to any cluster of changes in your child regarding the grades he/she brings home; his or her study habits; attitudes toward going to school; hygiene; and/or in his or her enthusiasm in taking part in school activities, etc.  A child who normally seems cheerful about going to school but is now moody and withdrawn, and who is later and later for school, bringing home lackluster grades.
2. ASK QUESTIONS. Show you care by asking artful questions.  Maybe not, “Hey, Dude, are you getting bullied?” but questions that show an unflagging interest in what he/she is doing in school, what activities is he/she involved in, who his or her friends are, what has happened that seems to have you upset?  Do not allow the child to get away with vague value statements.
3. ONCE YOU ARE REASONABLY SURE OF YOUR SUSPICIONS – even if your kid denies being bullied – contact responsible authorities and/or his/her teacher who you “know” to be caring at the school and let them know what you have learned, or what you fear.
4. TAKE ON THE ROLE OF SAFETY COACH. There is still a good chance the bullying will not stop.  It may even manifest itself into neighborhood or computer or telephone harassment.  As your child’s Safety Coach you definitely can teach him/her the skills to Escape and Evade these jerks and Jerkettes.   Let me assure you as a Bully-Be-Gone Instructor that you can do much more than I can by teaching your kids these skills at home.
5. Teach Your Child How To Adopt A Tough-Target Personality, including how to stand up for themselves; How To Stride Confidently while Scanning the Environment with his/her eyes (instead of walking “meekly” with eyes cast down).  Respond verbally to any and all challenges.  Not to allow the bully to verbally insult, threaten, or otherwise abuse hi8m/her without  strong verbal response:

• “Hey, I don’t appreciate what you just said.”
• Ask:  “Allison, how about getting out of my face?”
• Tell:  “Allison, I’m telling you to back off!”  (Combine the words with a back-step and raise your hands correspondent to where his/her hands are (See:  Nearest Weapon/Nearest Target ).
  
• Demand:  Combine your command with a hard-step to the rear and assume a fighting stance.  “Get back.  Get back, now!” And, of course, once your child does this, teach him or her to have a definitive plan of action (which, actually, should have been formulated in your child’s mind before the bully even started his or her confrontation.  A reasonable and doable plan of action, especially if you, the Safety Coach, had helped the child develop and train the physical part of the plan, will always help your child’s confidence).
• TEACH YOUR CHILD A RELIABLE “PRE-SHOT ROUTINE.” In any sport requiring nerves, accuracy and hand-eye coordination (golf, tennis, basketball, for example), there is a pre-shot routine that coaches teach their athlete-students.  You can teach your child the same type of Reliable Pre-Fight Routine, a routine that actually will work so well your child will probably come out on top without ever having to fight.

1. BREATHE DON’T FREEZE. 98 out of 100 victims freeze because they don’t breathe. As a result, the element of Fear destroys whatever Plan of Action they might have had.  Worse, fear freezes their ability to think, talk, and move.  Teach your child to inhale through their nose, hold the air in  for a count of two, and exhale through the mouth deeply (count of two) to get oxygenated blood flowing to the brain.
2. HAVE A VERBAL RESPONSE PREPARED. Possible the worse thing your child can do is to make no verbal response to a bully’s taunts.  A controlled and “normal” verbal statement that reflects no fear is best.
3. ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Never allow the bully to invade your space.  It is yours.  STEP DIAGONALLY TO CONTROL YOUR SPACE.
4. DISTRACT AND ESCAPE. More likely than not, if your child has a good “Pre-Shot Routine” and carries the routine out, the bully will have lost what he or she is after more than anything.  And that is the drive to see fear in your son or daughter’s eyes.  To prop him or herself up in his or her own eyes, and/or in the eyes of his or her audience by diminishing your child.  Likely, by now, the bully would have said something face-saving (“Well, this is not over douchebag—”), and then backing away.   If, however, the bully is still standing there and the clock in your child’s head (instincts) says “it’s time to get out of Dodge, ” a good way to accomplish this is to Distract and Depart, which is one of my best Counter-Bully (or, for that matter, Counter-Sexual Predator/Counter-Criminal Tactics) Tactics.

• Look, Point and Go!  With the bully concentrating on your, look past his shoulder, point and say”Oh, Mr. Smith (a name of a teacher, principal), I’ll be right there.”  When the bully breaks eye contact with you, “Open the Door,” Rock the Door,” or perform the Hip Torque Technique (See the next post), and go!
• Redirect Focus. The bull is singularly focused on your child.  Teach your child how to fracture the bully’s focus and redirect it back onto him or herself.  Almost any kind of verbal distraction will work here.  Point at his crotch and say, “Damn, look!  You pissed yourself!”  When he looks down, you are gone!  Believe me, distractions work.

In the next post.  When All Else Fails, rely on The Fighting Arts.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

1. FIGHTING ARTS PLAYBOOK, which will be featured in my next post.

Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME. PART III

If you are a parent or teacher committed to protecting your child against the evil Chicken Hawk (child molester/abductor) and you’ve been reading along with me, you know that in Parts I and II we talked about the importance of teaching your child the importance of doing everything she or he can do to always stay in the Initial Crime Scene (the medium-to-high-witness environment where your child was approached and attacked by the pervert), and, perhaps even more importantly, employing cool delaying techniques to expand the amount of time the predator is required to spend in the ICS in order to trap and abduct his prey.

Research shows that about 95 to 97% of the predators will break off their intended abduction attempt when they are faced with any determined resistance, included direct, challenging eye contact, verbal challenge, or even the appearance of readiness on the part of the child. As a matter of fact, most sexual predators won’t even seriously pursue a child who even looks like she or he is alert, aware and prepared to resist (The Tough Target Personality, of which I spoke in Part I).

But, hold the phone, Safety Coaches (you parents who are valiantly and tirelessly committed to coaching your children on these survival skills). What about the rare predator who may still attack your child despite his or her best delaying tactics? These are desperate and violent criminals who are determined to capture a victim for whatever reason that is driving them.

KID ESCAPE TECHNIQUES WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.

1. THE FIGHTING ARTS AND TARGET FOCUSED TECHNIQUES. Let’s face it: Sending your kids to a martial arts class is a great idea, but no 8 or 10 year-old is going to whip a large, desperate, adult violent sex offender with fancy spin-kicks and the sort. I teach children, when they are grabbed by the adult, to look for open and vulnerable Primary Targets (targets that can stop the adult from breathing, seeing, moving after them). The adult’s hands will be occupied pulling the child in, so gouge the eyes with the fingers and thumb; strike the throat with a Beak Strike or the ridge of the hand; drive his or her forehead hard into the Bad Guy’s nose; kick or knee the groin and be ready for follow-up strikes. I have addressed how to perform each of the above-referenced strikes in previous posts, and, upon request I will go into them in more detail. The key is to strike or gouge a vital target and keep hitting, squirming, kicking and screaming until you are released. Safety Coaches can use props like the cardboard cylinder from a roll of toilet paper to replicate the delicate tissue of the throat, a soft pillow to gouge instead of the eyes.
2. IMPROVISED WEAPONS. Safety Coaches can teach their children how to use items that they normally would be carrying. A loud whistle can scare off a predator. A bright intensive light from a small flashlight in his eyes. Punching in 9-1-1 on a cell phone and saying “;Police—“ will also influence an attacker to back off. However, don’t forget the pure surprise impact of striking with that improvised weapon. Teach your child how to hold the cell phone low, as if it weren’t a weapon, and, then, as the predator closes in, drive the hard edge of the cell hard into his throat. Other improvised weapons can be a set of keys; a wallet; a purse or handbag; a rolled up newspaper; a book, you name it. Once again, Improvised Weapons and how to use them have been addressed in previous posts.
3. DROP LOCK AND ROLL. If and when the predator grabs your child and actually carries him or her to a car, an alley (Secondary Crime Scene), wherever, the Drop-Lock-and Roll is a great technique to teach your child. I have several DVD’s from my Kid Escape Program teaching each component of the escape move, and I will send one to you upon request (at cost) In short, I advocate one of two moves:

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER ONE. You know how hard it is trying to hold on to a puppy or kitten that doesn’t want to be held. Think of it. Ever try to scoop up your kid in a store when he or she really did not want to go? I simply add a surprise move to the formula. Secret Move A: For the initial 10 to 20 seconds the child acts as if he is paralyzed with fear, which by the way, is just what the abductor expects and wants. Invoke a false sense of security. As soon as the abductor loosens his grip – which he will when he pauses to open the door on his van, etc., teach your child to suddenly begin to kick and squirm and head butt and bite and claw until he becomes impossible to hold. This will result in the child slipping in the Bad Guy’s grip. Teach your child to deliver whatever strikes or moves that will enable him or her to escape, but, more likely thank not, she or he will have to resort to Escape Move Number Two.

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER TWO. This is what I call “Drop-Lock and Roll.” John Hall, the founder of Kid Escape, invented this and calls it by a different name. Like I said, I have the DVD. E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com and I will mail it to you at cost.

1. Delaying and Evasive Tactic Number One is the child will make it difficult to impossible for the adult to carry him or her into a vehicle. Squirm and turn toward the adult and when the grip is loosened teach the child to dive head first toward the abductors legs and latch on with both hands. If the Bad Guy has the child high, we advocate the child diving head first over the Bad Guy’s head and dive toward his buttocks, grabbing on to the Bad Guy’s waist first and squirming and working his or her way down to the subject’s legs.

2. DELAYING AND EVASIVE TACTIC NUMBER TWO has the child making him or herself impossible to hold by shimmying down the legs all the way to the feet. Latch on to one foot with both hands and now spin around and latch on to the other ankle by crossing both feet.

v ESCAPING FROM THE PREDATOR’S VEHICLE. Two key tactics. If, for whatever reason, the child IS abducted from the Initial Crime Scene and is about to be thrown into the vehicle:

1. THIS IS WHERE THE BAD GUY WILL LOOSEN HIS GRIP. Choose this exact moment to Drop/Lock/Roll. Enhance this move by kicking both feet against the front seat as the Bad Guy is trying to toss the child into the seat.

2. DO NOT LET THIS MISCREANT DRIVE YOUR CHILD AWAY! In my CAT or Kid Escape class I teach kids and parents not to ever give up. It is life or death important that the Bad Guy not be allowed to drive off with your child! I advocate several strategies, including:

1) Delay the inevitable by tossing the “male” seat belt buckle in the doorway to jam the door from closing.

2) Use The Element Of Surprise:

Ø Teach your child how to quickly unlock the passenger side door. Repeat the drill 50 times.

Ø Teach your child to act scared – which will not be an act, at all – and reach for the abductor.

Ø The abductor most likely will respond positively to the child wanting to hug him.

Ø Once in this position (face to face on the abductor’s lap/I know what you’re thinking: Scary), Latch on tight to the predator/Bite/gouge his eyes/grab the keys from the ignition and toss them out the window, and, if possible, scramble to the passenger door, open it and escape.

Ø Worse comes to worse, if your child n the Face-To-Face Position, how comfortable do you think an abductor would be driving on the streets or highway with a child who is not his on his lap, face-to-face, screaming?

Until Next Time. Stay Safe.

Hammer

ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD-ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME, PART II

In the last post we talked about the importance of teaching your child how to trust his or her gut feelings (“The Creeps”) so he/she can mark the potential adult predator before he invades your child’s PSZ (Personal Safety Zone, or, Hula Hoop Space). We also talked about what to do when your kid is confronted with the adult predator and running away might not be your child’s best option.

The tactical core of Counter Abduction Tactics (CAT), or Kid Escape (founded ny John Hall) is to force the abductor to spend more time in the Initial Crime Scene (ICS) than he wants to. A simple plan, this, but an effective one. Every minute, no, every second, the predator must spend in the ICS beyond what he had originally planned on is agonizing to the molester. Think of it: this adult miscreant knows who he is and what he is. He knows he is a pariah who cannot afford to get caught doing the unthinkable act he plans to do. There is this immutable clock in his head that is ticking louder and louder each second more he is delayed. The louder we can make that clock tick, the more confused and distracted and desperate he becomes. This is also why I urge my students to do whatever he or she can to stay in the Initial Crime Scene!

Even if it means getting injured, even severely, stay in the Initial Crime Scene. At least the child knows that an ambulance will be able to locate him or her there, whereas he or she will never be found in the isolated Secondary Crime Scene.

KID ESCAPE DELAYING TACTICS

1. Run while looking at the Predator.
2. Use Barricades in the Environment to Delay the Attacker.
3. Destroy the Environment (See the post from 10/15/09).
4. “Your Shirt Is On Fire.” One of the games we play in CAT and one of the games Safety Coaches (parents) can play. Quickly drop to the ground as if your shirt is on fire and roll as if you are trying to put the fire out. Adults have a tough time catching a kid who does this.
5. “Pole Dance For Your Life.” Kid Escape was designed as a survival technique when a woman who was being abducted reached out and grabbed a telephone pole and latched on with both legs, feet, arms and hands. The men who were trying to throw her into a van were unable to unlatch her and drove off out of fear they would be caught. Teach your child, as I do, to grab hold of whatever is around them and hold on for dear life. Yes, the Bad Guy might try to beat the child and may even hurt the child, but as John Hall says, “Self Defense is not an injury free endeavor.” Kids have been able to save themselves from being abducted by latching on to their bikes with hands, feet, arms and legs, putting their heads down and forcing the Bad Guy to try to lift them and the bike. Hard to do. Thousands of children have been abducted from their own beds with their parents only a few yards away. Teach them to save themselves by latching on to a bed post, a chair, anything and curling up in a ball and screaming as loud as they can! Play the “Pole Dance Game” with them. It’s fun, too. You’ll be surprised how imaginative your kids can be.
6. THE CRAB WALK. After playing “Shirt on Fire,” have your child face the Bad Guy (Role Play) place the palms of both hands on the floor, raise his or her butt and quickly crab walk backwards away from the Bad Guy. Scramble away as quickly as possible. It is possible, by doing this, the child can cause the Bad Guy even more of a delay at the ICS and possibly make that Internal Clock tick even louder. He might break off the attack. As with all evasive tactics, teach your child to make as much noise as possible.
7. ACT INSANE. Sexual Predator/Abductors target normal kids. You know, quiet, nice, courteous, considerate. Normal. So, screw it; teach your child (give him or her permission under special circumstances) to act crazy. You know: Loud, profane, nasty, moving around non-stop, hands and fists pumping, rolling on the floor while yelling, staring at the Bad Guy. Crazy!

NEXT POST: WHAT YOUR CHILD CAN DO IF AND WHEN THE PREDATOR GRABS HIM/HER AND TRIES TO CARRY HIM/HER OFF.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

Escape and Evade the Child Predator Damn Near Every Time. PART I.

It’s what I do. Study depressing statistics and the tactical trends of violence and design trainings to somehow neutralize the threat. One person at a time. Or, if I’m luck, one small class of people at a time. Suffice it to say that the statistics – and trends – behind child abductions in the United States is staggering. Something like 400,000 children a year. 1000 kids a day. Gone.

The National Center for Missing Children suggests that once a child is abducted by a predator (as opposed to a family member in a custody battle), we have a very short window to save the abducted child. It also suggests that a plan of action and good information are a family’s best defense against losing a child to an abductor. Moreover, the National Center for Missing and Abducted Children studied 403 attempted kidnappings from February, 2005 to July, 2006 and discovered a ray of hope for concerned parents. Children who fought their attacker had a 60% chance of escaping their abductor and about 10% of the children who were attacked were able to escape their abductor “when an adult or another child just happened by—“

The implications for a practical Escape and Evasion Survival System – at least to me – are undeniable. What children really need is a self defense training system that:

v Can be learned quickly.

v Is retainable.

v Is easy to perform under high survival stress situations.

v Can be taught at home or in school by a parent, guardian and/or teacher.

Hello. How about my CAT (Counter Abduction Technique) training program?

CAT Design. Simply and briefly put, CAT is designed around the Tactical Trends or scheme of the sexual predator. Through ardent research and personal experience (as a Pa. State Parole Officer), I know that the predator depends on several factors to allow him to abduct his prey:

v The universal sweetness of children, who are socialized to trust and believe all adults.

v The timidity of his prey.

v Silence or a lack of disturbance of the environment by the victim/child, thereby lacking any ability to alert witnesses.

v The readiness of nearby adults to believe an adult over a child.

v The removal of the victim/child from the Initial Crime Scene, which is usually a high-witness area, to a pre-planned isolated Secondary Crime Scene where the predator will be able to do whatever he wishes to do to the child for as long as he wishes without any possible interference.

v And, above all else, the predator depends upon and relies upon the element of speed. It is crucial to the abductor that he is able to take the child with the least amount of notice as quickly as possible before another child, adult, or the police can intervene.

CAT TECHNIQUES & TACTICS , therefore, teach and promote strategies that will transform an ideal victim/child into a Tough Target Child. Simply put, the TTC will be taught by his/her instructor or parents (Safety Coaches) to always do the following, which, by the way, is easy to teach and easy to do:

v BREATHE, TALK AND MOVE. The predator almost always chooses victims who are quiet, timid and still. Nine out of 10 victims, whether they be children or adults, FREEZE AT FIRST TOUCH. Teach your child to be a Tough Target who uses First Touch as a trigger to explode into action. I teach children to quickly swing their arms and hands toward their head – as if they were Elvis combing his hair – to escape the inevitable arm grab and then step and move away and shout at the abductor. If there are others in the area, shout “Hey, this guy is not my father!” Children should also make direct eye contact with the predator so he knows the child knows what he is up to. Many will break off the attack and move on at this point.

v ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. I use a Hula Hoop during the early phase of my CAT or Kid Escape classes. Kids love hula hoops, and, of course, asking them to hold a hula hoop around their waist is a non-threatening way to define the radius of their Personal Safety Zone (have your child hold the hoop tight against their back side and study the space created by the hula hoop in front of them). I tell them that they should allow no adult, save for those on their Gold List inside that PSZ. Safety Coaches can run role play scenarios with the child and teach them what to do if and when a non-Gold Lister attempts to enter their space without his or her permission.

Ø J-Step Away.

Ø Ste-Slide Away, recreating their space.

Ø Place an environmental barricade between him/her (the child) and the adult.

· DISENGAGE, IF POSSIBLE. Safety Coaches must teach their children to be observant, To notice adult/strangers who do not seem to belong on the scene, who appear to be paying too much attention to the child. Being observant will also trigger the child’s Gut Instincts, better known to children as “The Creeps.” Advise your child to always trust those feelings. At your chi

· earliest opportunity he/she should put as much distance between himself and the adult as possible. How, you might ask?

Ø Always try to remain in the company of at least one other child. Two children have an 80% less of a chance of being abducted.

Ø Run in a zig zag, or serpentine fashion.

Ø Destroy the Environment. Throw object at the Bad Guy’s feet, knock objects over. Try to draw attention to yourself. Make a scene.

Ø Try not to turn your back on the adult. Turning your back triggers the Predator instinct in the abductor and he will catch you. Keep your eye on him and run sideways.

BY ALL MEANS, THE KEY TO INFLUENCING THE MOLESTOR TO BREAK OFF HIS ATTACK IS TO REFUSE TO LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH HIM AND TO MAKE HIM SPEND MORE TIME THAN HE WOULD LIKE IN THAT INITIAL CRIME SCENE!

More on delaying the Bad Guy at the Scene in the next post.

Stay safe until then.

Hammer

KEEP SCHOOLS SAFE

September 28, 2009

CRISIS COMMUNICATIONS

Communications is a critical component of crisis management. School staff members and students must be told what is happening and what to do. Parents must also be informed about the (crisis) situation, including the status of their child. Timely contact with law enforcement and other emergency services is also necessary for effective response. School Board members must also be advised, as well as the press, not to mention the PTA and other organizations supportive of the school.

When a crisis goes down, there are some practices which school administrators might find helpful, including the following:

v An E-Mail Tree using a carefully crafted statement notifying staff of a crisis event when they are not at school.

v A Telephone Tree.

v The Morning Faculty Meeting includes an early, brief meeting providing a chance to give accurate, updated info about the crisis/situation and to review procedures, including the availability of intervention resources.

v The End-of-Day Faculty Meeting provides a chance to review day one, update information, and plan for day two. Misinformation or rumors can be addressed before staff members go home or into the community where they will likely to be asked about the event.

More On Communications in the School, Etc. in the next post.

Stay safe.

Hammer

September 25, 2009

NOW WHAT? WHEN DE-ESCALATION DOESN’T WORK!

Ok. You are being verbally attacked by a student and you have followed the De-Escalation Playbook almost by the numbers, meaning you have:

v Depersonalized.

v Depreciated the Verbal Icon.

v Kept Your Cool.

v Deflected Insults Cooly instead of Absorbing Them

v Held Your Ego at Bay.

v Empathized.

v Took Nothing Personally and Responded Professionally.

v Employed Positive, Non-Combative Body Language In Synch With What you were saying.

v Asked Questions to Find Out the Facts.

v Treated the Student as you would have wanted to be treated under the exact same circumstances.

v Asked instead of Commanded.

v Explained Why.

v Gave the Student Good Options.

Yet, despite your best, most professional efforts, the student is still in your face. Still disruptive. There might be any number of reasons why your efforts have failed, probably none of which caused by your attempts to Generate Voluntary Compliance (the goal of Verbal Judo). Maybe the student feels his “face” is on the line and she/he cannot back down in front of the audience (friends and peers witnessing the event).

Time, I think, to take this thing to the Next Level. Here are a few suggestions you might try:

CUT AND HERD. Using a security officer or another teacher, separate the disruptive student from the audience. More likely than not, the student, once separated from his or her audience, will be a lot more pliable.

TAKE PHYSICAL CONTROL. If you are security, it is time to either use back-up and take control. At some point you gave the kid some options. Since the student chose to defy instructions, she or he has actually chosen the “bad” option, which might have been “You can show me your ID and simply move on to your class, or, you can continue to rant and rave and you will have given us no choice but to escort you to (wherever).” If you are a teacher, it might be time to call security since most of you are restricted from using force. If you are not restricted, however, with the help of another teacher, you can move in and take control of him.

CONFIRM for the record, before you take physical control, be you security or a teacher, that the subject still refuses to comply. “Lisa, is there anything I can say to get you to go along with the program today? I sure hope there is.” Is, in my mind, the ideal Confirmation Statement because it serves many purposes:

v The statement is so “nice” and unexpected that it sometimes generates voluntary compliance. I have seen it work. The subject simply stunned, taken by surprise, and the next thing he or she knows is he or she is doing what you want, thinking it was his or her idea in the first place.

v Witnesses perceive – correctly – that you are being professional, considerate, empathetic and nice. They also see the student, by contrast, being unreasonable, belligerent, nasty. I have seen friends and family members actually get drawn onto the professional’s side and say to the disruptive person, “C’mon, the guy is being cool about this. Chill out, Dude.”

v If you do have to physically take control of the student or defend yourself, by using this statement, you have created preclusion. Meaning that your employer and any court that is called upon to judge your actions will look favorably upon your actions because you have used every means at your disposal to have precluded the need for using force.

Until Next Time, Stay Safe.

Hammer