Prior to the interview I had been unemployed for so long I’d returned to the idea of doing some freelance writing. Last time this happened I got as far as purchasing the Writers’ and Artists’ Year Book 2009 on Amazon before landing a job as a newspaper reporter. This time round I got slightly further; registering as self-employed with the taxman before being snapped up to man the phones of a well-known Swedish furnisher.

The switch from unemployment to self-employment was brought about by Totem Films offering to pay me to help film the Autosport International Show 2011. Two days of filming for what would equate to almost four week’s worth of Job Seeker’s Allowance sounded good but the paperwork and headaches down at the job centre didn’t.

So I signed up as self-employed and quit benefits. Unexpectedly they sent me a £100 job grant for doing this (I’m not complaining mind).

I then spent a great weekend at Birmingham NEC interviewing lecturers, students, alumni and employers at the Staffordshire University stand for promotional videos about the university’s automotive courses and collaring the public for the official Pistonheads Show video.

I would write something more about Autosport here but my knowledge of motoring is laughable, instead here is a photo of a car taken by SoundGuyGuy.

As Europe’s largest motorsport tradeshow (TM) drew to a close my idea was to continue in the freelance vein and pitch ideas to magazines, newspapers, pamphlets and napkins, get published and (hopefully) get paid. Then I spent the next two weeks not doing any of that (instead I went to a couple of interviews, a few drinking sessions and one networking event).

It still seems a good idea though, plus I now have a business advisor at Lloyds TSB I wouldn’t want to disappoint. This is the closest I have to a business plan.

So, for the foreseeable future I’m going to use this blog to track my progress as I try and get my words published and paid for. The target is to make more from freelancing than I would have done on benefits ie. £2,600 in a year. The fact that I now have a real job somewhat takes the edge off this challenge but hopefully me tapping out posts will amuse someone somewhere and be good for my mental state.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

John Lennon

Four posts in one year is hardly prolific output. My bad.

In an attempt to reinvigorate this blog I’m playing around with the layout and am of the opinion that Challenges and Completed Challenges no longer require their own pages. Challenges haven’t been the main focus of this blog for a long time and, besides, there are plenty of blogs that do it much better.

While their challenges range from death-defying to awe-inspiring and everything in between, mine were always along the more prosaic line of getting up before midday, remembering to eat something and trying not to die before 6pm.

Quite where we go from here is unclear. I guess if I only complete challenge 1a. (“Update this blog regularly”) I’ll be heading in the right direction.

Not dead,

Scribs

What follows is a list of all the complete and incomplete challenges that this blog set out to document.

1. Write More (Antonio)

1a. Update this blog regularly.
1b. Hook the blog up to Facebook.
1c. Install the Visual Bookshelf on Facebook.
1d. Do one day a week of work experience at The Sentinel.
1e. Freelance.
1f. Write a 50,000 word novel as part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November.
1g. Put together a portfolio of my work.

2. Get out of Debt

I blog every gory detail of my personal finances.  It’s not pretty and, yes, I’m still in debt.

4. Wake up at a Reasonable Hour (Frosty)

I start work at 9am every weekday and will document this for a month.

6. Learn to Drive

Hopefully happening later in the year when I have money.

7. Complete my Degree

One day.

8. Keep Eating Steak and Crumpets (Guy/ Antonio)

Thanks to Guy and Antonio for the easiest, oddest and yet most enjoyable challenge so far.  I have already photographed crumpets with Marmite, cheese, and Marmite cheese.  Expect more crumpet related posts and features on steak (if I can ever afford steak again).

9. Eat New Vegetables (Tom)

Yes, you read that right.  I need to eat 12 new vegetables this year.  If I run out of vegetables, and this is unlikely, Tom says I’m allowed to use a vegetable I’ve eaten before as long as I prepare it in a different way.

10. Review Artists (Tom/ John)

This is a challenge that Tom and John collaborated on and is somewhat involved.  Each month I need to look at two works by a particular artist, compare them and then make at least one interesting point.  The only problem is they’ve picked a different kind of artist for each month, here’s the list; Painter, Sculptor, Film Director, Playwright, Foreign Language Novelist, Poet, Dancer, Classical Artist, Popular Artist, Photographer, Website Designer, Philosopher.

Any kind of help greatly appreciated.

11. Eat Breakfast Daily (Tom/ John)

Tom and John defined breakfast as a meal before 12pm.  My messed up sleeping pattern means I repeatedly fail this challenge but when I do eat something vaguely interesting before midday I take a photo of it and put up here.  This is a feature I have dubbed “Blog your breakfast/ it’s easier than writing.”

12. Speed Blog (Tom/ John)

One minute, one post, stream of consciousness, no editing.  Some examples can be found on Tom and John’s now retired blog.  I did attempt this but the result was truly obscene and I’m not sure I would be comfortable sharing it with the world.

13. Talk to More Girls (Tom/ John/ Annabel)

Thanks guys, this challenge makes me sound like some kind of hermit lacking social skills.  In the next year I have to speak to 12 heterosexual girls I have never met before.  How I’m meant to ascertain their heterosexuality is a point I’m still unsure on.  Also the line “I want you to appear on my website” would sound so, so creepy, probably best avoided.

14. Learn Sign Language (Tom/ John/ Annabel/ Antonio)

Met some deaf people at a new year’s eve party.  Tried to make small talk with the one phrase I thought I knew (”tea, no milk”) ended up telling them something about ploughing that apparently was quite amusing.  So, I will be looking into the British Sign Language course at the local college and at some stage video blogging a post that is entirely signed.

15. Write a Letter for Amnesty International

Anyone who loiters around me long enough will eventually hear about how I make an annual donation to Amnesty.  I will probably also tell them how amazing the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is and how supporting all other charities is ultimately pointless until human rights are guaranteed.  This year I’m going to do something more proactive than watching the direct debit leave my account or reading the occasional email; this year I will be writing a letter for someone who has been unfairly imprisoned.

16. Learn to Play the Piano (Annabel)

I lack a natural sense of rhythm.  My poor hand and eye co-ordination is documented at least as far back as my year two primary school report.  The highest number of notes I’ve managed to hit in row on Guitar Hero is three.  Nonetheless, I’ve always wanted to play piano, it’s seems a classy thing to do and hopefully when I grow old I’ll be able to play it in a whiskey commercial or a jazz bar or something.  I blame Annabel for this one.

18. Do Good (Holly)

One random act of kindness a week.  This challenge has not begun (I haven’t even mentioned it in a blog post yet).

19. Review All High School Musical Films (Gingell)

Sometimes I think Gingell is trying to fashion me into the gay BFF she never had.  However, it’s a challenge that (probably) won’t “result in death, injury or mutilation”, doesn’t “contradict one of the challenges I already have” and won’t make my life any worse, therefore I am duty bound to complete it.

21. Apply to Small Ads Regularly (Stan)

I’ve been challenged to regularly respond to adverts placed on Gumtree, craigslist and similar websites.  The adverts I choose can range from the serious to the silly but I must post the results here for all to see.  Stanford says that my replies must not be “rude or destructive to the ad poster”. I say, “Stanford you’re no fun any more.”  Stanford has already started work on this challenge, see how he’s doing here.

22. One Hundred Consecutive Press Ups (Gingell)

Gingell has challenged me to take part in the “One Hundred Push Ups Training Program” (which roughly translates as “One Hundred Press Ups Training Programme”).  The aim is that after four weeks I’ll be able to do 100 press ups in one go.  You can monitor my progress by checking my “pushups logger” or following me on Twitter (the “pushups logger” auto-tweets each of my workouts).  Gingell explains more in her post, at some stage I promise to blog about this challenge.  Baines, Damian and Stan are also taking part.

Completed Challenges

3. Give Blood (Charity/ Gingell)

One pint of the red stuff successfully spilled as of Friday 27th March.

5. Quit Swearing for Lent (Charity)

From Wednesday 25th February to Sunday 7th April I tried to avoid swearing at all costs and when I did it cost me £1.  In total I raised £23 for Gingell’s 10k sponsored run.  Gingell is taking part in the Asics British 10k London run to raise money for Lupus UK.  She is well on her way to reaching her target and I think it would be a nice gesture on your part if you made a donation.

17. An Apple a Day (Holly)

I ate 30 apples this April.

20. Run at Least One Mile a Week (Gingell)

One week, one mile, until the contract on this house is up.

Strange as it may sound, this seldom updated blog is the most comprehensive account you’ll probably ever hear of my life – more comprehensive than even me.  Ask me what I’m doing and you’re likely to get the response, “Not much. Being a bum. Sometimes I sleep.” This is not only a failed attempt at self-depreciating humour but also wholly untrue.

In June I moved to Peterborough and while I may now live in a more prosperous area than downtown Shelton, I miss Stoke-on-Trent. I grew to know that place so well; there was always someone to call, always somewhere to go and more often than not a bartender who could fix you up with a free drink. I’m sure Peterborough is a lovely place but it’s hard to judge when you’re mainly checking out the library printers (update CV, print, repeat) and the inside of the job centre.

I’ve been keeping busy though. In July I helped Totem Films (Frosty, Damian and Graham’s media production company, I might have mentioned them before) film a couple of conferences. This was an incredible experience considering I have never picked up a video camera before.

I spent the first day of Civil Service Live, a conference attracting more than 6,000 delegates, getting the hang of framing and focusing shots – meanwhile some of these very shots were being live-streamed to the web and all the screens in the London Olympia. By the second day I was helping to film the deputy prime minister.

It was great to listen in on the kind of discussions that happen behind the scenes at Whitehall and, while the filming was something of a learning curve, as far as I can tell I didn’t do too badly.

It was a surreal experience for me to be involved in and sometimes I felt something of a charlatan, that said I’m proud of my contribution. The Totem video below features Channel 4 New’s Samira Ahmed interviewing deputy prime minister Nick Clegg. Any shots of the two of them in their chairs are filmed by yours truly.

On the third day of Civil Service Live it was David Cameron’s turn to speak but, in what could be construed as a cruel snub, Guy and I had already left the rest of the Totem crew behind and were busy filming a surgeons’ conference in Birmingham.

If you are a practising plastic surgeon then the PowerPoint slides at Modern Concepts: Breast Aesthetics and Reconstruction probably wouldn’t have fazed you. As a civilian I found the ratio of breast tissue slicing and dicing to clip art and star wipes uncomfortable. That said I did learn a lot about dancing breast syndrome. It is nowhere near as comical as you might imagine.

During our time at the conference we were assisted in our work by photographer Geoffrey Shek. The photograph above is one of his and it’s well worth taking a look at the rest of his work on GeoffreyShek.com. Geoffrey was a lot of fun to have around and it seems right to wrap this post up with a photo of me (posing like a fool) that he took. The backdrop is Warwick Castle, the location for the conference’s gala dinner which was filmed for a commemorative DVD.